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Why I won't be celebrating Kwanzaa

Trying to find why AOL is blocking emails I need to send I came across this article in The American Spectator.

Firstly it confirms my belief that AOL SUCKS. and secondly it gave me the details on something I was dimly aware of - that Kwanzaa as a festival is a fraud, a Marxist fraud at that, recently founded by a torturer in sordid violence, paranoia, and mayhem some three decades ago in a section of America that has vanished down the memory hole.

And here just to annoy the censors is the banned poem:

'Twas the night before Kwanzaa
And all through the 'hood,
Maulana Karenga was up to no good.

He'd tortured a woman and spent time in jail.
He needed a new scam that just wouldn't fail.
("So what if I stuck some chick's toe in a vice?
Nobody said revolution was nice!")

The Sixties were over. Now what would he do?
Why, he went back to school -- so that's "Dr." to you!
He once ordered shootouts at UCLA
Now he teaches Black Studies just miles away.

Then to top it all off, the good Doctor's new plan
Was to get rid of Christmas and piss off The Man.

Karenga invented a fake holiday.
He called the thing Kwanza. "Hey, what's that you say?

"You don't get what's 'black' about Maoist baloney?
You say that my festival's totally phony?

"Who cares if corn isn't an African crop?
Who cares if our harvest's a month or two off?
Who cares if Swahili's not our mother tongue?
A lie for The Cause never hurt anyone!

"Umoja! Ujima! Kujichagulia, too!
Collectivist crap never sounded so cool!
Those guilty white liberals -- easy to fool.
Your kids will now celebrate Kwanzaa in school!"

And we heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight:
"Happy Kwanzaa to all, except if you're white!"

Comments

Thanks, that kwanzaa one was great. Keep them coming.

the facts in that poem are wrong. they DO grow corn in africa--I saw it with my own two eyes when I was in Kenya. As for the timing of the harvest, it can technically happen during any time of the year depending upon where in sub-saharan Africa you are (because, guess what! africa is not a monolithic place). i'm not sure what "swahili's not our mother tongue" means, but the fact is that swahili was chosen by kwanzaa's creators because it's a lingua franca in east africa.

Yeah, Kwanzaa was invented. So what? The creators of Kwanzaa don't try to hide the fact; they don't pass it off per se as an African harvest festival. it's a conglomeration of a lot of different traditions on the continent.

take some time to learn about something like Kwanzaa before you write a screed against it just because it doesn't happen to fit in your ideological orthodoxy.

I use kwanzaa to celebrate White Pride Day.
I won't be recognizing a holiday borne of hate.
Fuck kwanzaa and the crippled giraffe it rode in on.

"Kwanzaa" pisses me off too, but just makes me go deeper into the Christmas spirit. The deluded may not like the idea of Christmas being celebrated as the birth of Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior of mankind, but that doesn't make it untrue. In hopes that they, too, will come to experience the joy and peace that comes with that acceptance, I offer Luke 2:11-14:

"Do not be afraid. I bring you news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David, a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.' Suddenly, a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'"

Kwanzaa can't touch that.

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