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Come the Glorious Twelfth

I had a little visit from a Kennet Council Environmental Health Officer today.

Up to the 5th April the council supplied community skips for residents to get rid of rubbish, but due to budgets they have stopped the practice. So last week some toerag flytipped some garden rubbish on the farm, so we tidied it up and tried to burn it.

Some bootlick brown-nose reported me to the council, so an officer was sent round. The crime, having regular bonfires that emit black smoke - penalty 5 years in chokey and an unlimited fine. Occasional bonfires and ones that don't send up black smoke are allowed.

My first question was "who accuses me?" - Sorry , Sir under council policy we can't tell you.
My reply - under The Magna Carta I have the right to know my accuser. (To quote - No bailiff shall in future put anyone to trial upon his own bare word, without reliable witnesses produced for this purpose.) The witnesses must be produced.

But of course not a chance. So I show Snodnose the remains of the fire, pointed out it was mainly branches, and we hadn't had more than one fire in a month or so, and after he has spent twenty minutes bareheaded and in a suit in the teaming rain (I had disappeared indoors with his ID card to have a piss, a drink and to change into wet weather gear leaving him outside waiting) he agreed to let it be this time.

But I have plans...

Tweltfth Celebrations,battle of the boyne,ulster,king billy,bonfires


It shan't be long my English countryman, before the petty official is demanding to see YOUR ID card.....

You should have put said official on the fire!

Next bonfire...........Kennet District Council Offices?

Remember, if you're planning to burn a pile of tyres, the fire is best lit IN THE MIDDLE.

Please, please, please - don't burn tyres! I like the size of the bonfire - they should see it in London from your location - but, as a fire safety professional, remember to keep your distance from buildings and boundaries!

The wise Grey Monk reminds us of safety - I wonder what he would make of this one.

New fire safety rules affecting all non-domestic premises in England and Wales came into force on 1 October 2006.

A fire risk assessment helps you to identify all the fire risks and hazards in your premises. You can then decide to do something to control them.

Articles Fire Risk Assessments:
1. Fire Types & Fire Extinguishers
2. United Kingdom: Fire Departments
3. New Fire Safety Rules
4. Steps Needed For Fire Risk Assessment
5. Steps Are Needed To Save Lives
6. Fire Safety Engineering
7. Safety Rules: Fire Risk Assessment

Fire Risk Assessments

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