Come the Glorious Twelfth
I had a little visit from a Kennet Council Environmental Health Officer today.
Up to the 5th April the council supplied community skips for residents to get rid of rubbish, but due to budgets they have stopped the practice. So last week some toerag flytipped some garden rubbish on the farm, so we tidied it up and tried to burn it.
Some bootlick brown-nose reported me to the council, so an officer was sent round. The crime, having regular bonfires that emit black smoke - penalty 5 years in chokey and an unlimited fine. Occasional bonfires and ones that don't send up black smoke are allowed.
My first question was "who accuses me?" - Sorry , Sir under council policy we can't tell you.
My reply - under The Magna Carta I have the right to know my accuser. (To quote - No bailiff shall in future put anyone to trial upon his own bare word, without reliable witnesses produced for this purpose.) The witnesses must be produced.
But of course not a chance. So I show Snodnose the remains of the fire, pointed out it was mainly branches, and we hadn't had more than one fire in a month or so, and after he has spent twenty minutes bareheaded and in a suit in the teaming rain (I had disappeared indoors with his ID card to have a piss, a drink and to change into wet weather gear leaving him outside waiting) he agreed to let it be this time.
But I have plans...