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Happy Christmas from my lawyer

As it is that time of year, please accept with no obligation, implied
or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially
responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter/summer solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyabletraditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish
at the sole discretion of the wisher.


At schools, previously, boys performed better. Following restructuring, girls now perform better.

We can benefit from Stalin like purges of the Military and State institutions.

We just have had 2 commanders (RN & RAF) removed from their posts.

The Police will do what we say. Otherwise they can lose their pension.

We can use police to tie down political enemies where ever we find them, in the Military, in the Romanian Embassy, in Education, in the Police, in Politics (BNP, Robert Kilrow-Silk), in gun sports, in fox hunting.

The English will not fight back. They are busy with pizza, beer and I'm a Celeb.

And may I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and prosperous New Year.

Sod the P C brigade.

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