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I'm Off Out into the Midday Sun

Lunchtime and England is gloriously sunny with record breaking temperatures - so I'm happily off out with this latest news fresh in:

BBC NEWS | Health | Debate over safety of midday sun

Scientists believe going out in the midday sun without sunscreen for 10-15 minutes is good for you, contrary to current advise.

And dear, dear Noel's words on my lips:

In tropical climes there are certain times of day
When all the citizens retire to tear their clothes off and perspire.
It's one of the rules that the greatest fools obey,
Because the sun is much too sultry
And one must avoid its ultry-violet ray.
The natives grieve when the white men leave their huts,
Because they're obviously, definitely nuts!

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun,
The Japanese donīt care to, the Chinese wouldnīt dare to,
Hindus and Argentines sleep firmly from twelve to one
But Englishmen detest-a siesta.
In the Philippines they have lovely screens to protect you from the glare.
In the Malay States, there are hats like plates which the Britishers won't wear.
At twelve noon the natives swoon and no further work is done,
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.

It's such a surprise for the Eastern eyes to see,
that though the English are effete, they're quite impervious to heat,
When the white man rides every native hides in glee,
Because the simple creatures hope he will impale his solar topee on a tree.
It seems such a shame when the English claim the earth,
They give rise to such hilarity and mirth.
Ha ha ha ha hoo hoo hoo hoo hee hee hee hee ......

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.
The toughest Burmese bandit can never understand it.
In Rangoon the heat of noon is just what the natives shun,
They put their Scotch or Rye down, and lie down.
In a jungle town where the sun beats down to the rage of man and beast
The English garb of the English sahib merely gets a bit more creased.
In Bangkok at twelve o'clock they foam at the mouth and run,
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.
The smallest Malay rabbit deplores this foolish habit.
In Hong Kong they strike a gong and fire off a noonday gun,
To reprimand each inmate who's in late.
In the mangrove swamps where the python romps
there is peace from twelve till two.
Even caribous lie around and snooze, for there's nothing else to do.
In Bengal to move at all is seldom ever done,
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.


Yet if one sings that song in the company of an American whilst digging a hole in Colorado one gets strange looks...

Here's a little something I knocked off in the Caribbean...

I say old boy, I couldn't fail but notice that the old Beeb have had to perform a grammatical stealth edit. Changing the verb 'advise' that the Englishman captured with his CTRL+C to the correct 'advice', the noun. It wasn't like that in old Reith's day, what?

Also, for Noel fans, the marvellous In Which We Serve is on at 13:05 on Monday 30th May on BBC 2, as a tribute to John Mills I presume.

Stirring World War II drama about the crew of a British fighting ship, told through a series of poignant and revealing vignettes. The story of the ship's heroic deeds is narrated by Noel Coward, who, as the ship's captain, acts as a father-figure to his stalwart men. After surviving a torpedo attack, the ship is involved in the Dunkirk evacuation, before heading into battle off the coast of Crete.
Director: Noel Coward, David Lean
Starring: Noel Coward, John Mills, Bernard Miles, Celia Johnson, Ann Stephens, Daniel Massey
(Black and White, Subtitles, 1942)

Plus there's a great between scenes shot of Plymouth Hoe and the Sound.

Good that you invite comments. England's great but the free-market libertarianism which you espouse is one of the things which is destroying it.

Well all power to free-market libertarianism then. It's pretty effective given it's been virtually an endagered species in England since 1905!

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