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Sartorial advice needed

I have been summoned for Jury Service in December in Swindon. I suppose a grand show trial of the massed youth of Swindon for wearing hoodies and lolling around slack jawed watching the traffic lights change as the most sophisticated entertainment their evo-stuck brains can comprehend is unfortunately unlikely to happen. So should I polish up my brogues and wear the pinstripe suit with an inch of hempen rope dangling from the pocket and a black handkerchief ready to be whipped out or should I dig out the sandals I bought when suffering from a whitlow, let the beard grow and knit myself a jumper from nettles?


The received wisdom is that if you wear a suit and carry a copy of the Telegraph, the defence lawyers will object to you as likely to be a fascist old bugger who'll never let their client off, so you can escape.

Never had a chance to put it into practice though.

Wear what you are comfortable in. Defence barristers don't object to single jurors, they will try to get the whole thing declared a mistrial at a late stage if they think that the jury is going to declare a guilty verdict. Interesting mental exercise during tedious bits of evidence, try and estimate what the whole shenanegins in the courtroom is costing the taxpayer(you and I) on a daily basis.

Bring a good book... you'll need it.

Wear a Saint George outfit complete with shield and pretend sword. Write "Bollocks to Blair" on the shield.

I've always found a black hood and an axe presents a cultured appearance, guaranteed to find favor with the minions of Justice.

Oh, wait... aren't axes banned in England?


Advice request: My friend insists that is never proper to wear bermuda ahorts with shoes and soci (ie. no socks whoukd be worn with this combination). I disagreed. Who is correct?

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