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Justice postponed

So I was preparing to spend the next couple of weeks as a Juror up in Swindon doing my civic duty, I had checked there were enough trees and rope, when they rang up; don't want me, too many jurors, not enough criminals. I offered to round up a few we could try. I think with a few show trials and packed docks I could have cleared a considerable number of parasitic scum from the country. I had a little list and I'm sure you could add some names...
I note President Bush has also had his Jury service postponed so I'm in good company - watch out scrotes next June when I'm due to help out again....


Howdy, pard!

I was lookin' for that fella folks call the Hangin' Juror. Goes by the name of Englishman, The. Odd fella from the sound of it. Folks tell me he's plantin' a forest, goes to dinner at the home of friends with dried doggy poo from years gone by, has list o' scum to prosecute (and he's checkin' it twice, but he's already found who's naughty, not nice), and other oddball stuff. I'm right partial to odd fellas like him. Downright fond of him. Don't know him personally, but I read his blog. Hell of a gent. Quit beating his wife years ago.


Sorry about my little story. Got carried away a bit. That's what drinking Gentleman Jack will do to a person.


I haven't actually served on a jury in over ten years though I get called every year. I go in, listen to the clerks and judges describing my duties and then sit for hours. I know its all worthwhile when the defense counsel excuses me after one simple question, "Have you ever been the victim of a felony?" As soon as I answer yes I know that within 15 minutes I'll be in my car driving back to the beach and excused for another year.

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