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That's the spirit, and beer, wine...

Last January I was rude About Students today, I'm glad to see they are improving,....

attempting escape Party report for The Englishman

People sick: Five (5)
Number of pint glasses to contain said sick: Three (3)
Floor area covered in vomit: 2 square yards
People carried home: Two (2)
Distance walked by me carrying drunks home: Four hundred metres (400m)
Plates broken: Two (2)
Washing up (cocktail) bowls split down the side: One (1)
People locked in the Loo, unable to unbolt the door: One (1)
People climbing out one window, and then into the loo to unlock said door: One (1)
Loo cisterns half hanging off wall: One (1)
Time the party finished: Five AM (05:00hrs)
Time I woke up the next day: Three PM (15:00hrs)

Comments

Glad to see the lad's improving with your encouragement but he still has a long way to go to creating the "truely historic student party".

There was no mention of the number of times Plod came to warn them about the noise / search for drugs (ten points per raid, deduct one point for each joint found, add two points for every Camberwell Carrot not found. Double word score if he accepts a drink). No count of couples, preferably those not previously thought to be an item, caught in flagrante delicto (you get a triple word score if the discoverer is the real significant other of one of the participants. No reference to the risk of the living room ending up in the Indian resteraunt downstairs (brass plaque in the student union bar and eternal place of honour on the Animal House Hall of Fame if acheived).

OK the last one is pretty site specific I'll admit, so I guess we can forgive him that. And I suppose we can put the slight discrepancy in the puke count down to everyone seeing double after midnight.

Overall a good effort, but still room for improvement. B+

Prof Remittance

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