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It's Christmas cracker time

My wife's gone to the West Indies
-No, she went of her own accord.

-My wife's gone to the Indian coast
-Phwoar! I'll say!

-My wife's gone to St Petersburg.
-Is she Russian?
-No, she's taking her time.

-My wife's gone to Northern Italy
-I should think so, we've been married for 20 years.

-My wife's had an accident on a volcano
-No. She broke her leg.

-My wife's gone mad in Venezuela
-Yes, absolutely loopy

-My wife's gone to the Welsh border.
-Search me.

-My wife's gone to the botanical gardens.
-Yes, it was rather busy.

-My wife's gone to Malawi
-Yes, about 5000 miles

-My wife's got an upset tummy in Laos
-Yes, constantly.

-My wife's gone to see relatives in France
-No, her Aunt and Uncle actually

-My wife's gone on a singing tour of South Korea
-No, R&B

-My wife caught a cold in the Gulf
-Yes, she was coughing up greenies for weeks

-My wife had an accident in Slovenia
-like a stuck pig.

-My wife's parents are from Croatia
-No, they're still happily married.

-My wife went to a very bad concert in South East Asia
-Terrible. And the rest of the band was even worse.

-My wife went on a sailing course in Poole
-In Dorset?
-Yes, she'd recommend it to anyone.

My wife had a nasty car accident in Mid-Wales?
- Lampeter?
- No, she drove into a wall.

My wife's gone to Indonesia.
No, she flew with British Airways.

- My wife's studying polar bears somewhere in the Arctic.
- Alaska?
- Impossible, she's out of contact at the moment.

My wife's gone to Iceland.
No, just the once.

Who was the wife of Jupiter?
No, that's why I'm asking.

What is the state capital of Alaska
Yes, but do you?

My brother was taken ill on a flight to England
-No, but he felt very queasy

- My wife bought some second-hand clothes in Cheshire.
- Altrincham?
- No, they fitted her perfectly.


They are terrible. You are a very naught man and Father Christmas will leave you a politician instead of an iPod. Feminist New Labour, at that.

OOOO bad puns!! LOL

Thanks for the Christmas cheer!!

I think you need to make a new years resolution to find some funny jokes. :D

Those are awful! I guess I'll pass them on.... :)

My wife's gone to a small town in Germany for colonic irrigation.


No, Oberkrämer

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