« CAP Madness | Main | Stuck on Stupid »

The Government's latest crap idea

The Times has learnt that Margaret Beckett, the Environment Secretary, is to produce detailed codes of conduct telling pet owners how to feed their animals and where they should go to the toilet, (for instance the cat code says "Ensure that cats’ preference for privacy is met by giving them a hidden away place with cat litter to relieve themselves. This advice forms part of a nine-point guide for “going to the toilet”.
Every domesticated animal will have a code of conduct tailored to their species, each of which is expected to run into dozens of pages. This will form part of the Animal Welfare Bill, expected to clear Parliament in the next few months.

"Going to (the) Toilet" Aaargh! It is bad enough the semi-literate helpers at schools teaching my children such foul words but when people start talking about animals "going toilet" my gorge rises and the blood starts hammering at the back of forehead.
There is a small dinner party set I have been banned from when a charming woman (who seems to have forgiven me) mentioned her horse going to the toilet, "Horses stale" I shouted before descending into scatological drivel. I have shifted more tons of animal muck than you have had hot dinners, animals stale, piss, shit, crap, dung, poo, go to the bog... - all decent Saxon words - only our poncy Norman overlords witter on about toilets and lavatories.

Oh, and the rest of the idea is as daft as box of frogs, talking of which I will be interested in the codes they produce for frogs and lobsters....


Do you suppose there's a section entitled 'feeding useless government twats to tigers at the zoo'.
Subsections - Head or feet first, we discuss your options.
- Really fat bastards, saving some for another day.

Surely the whole point of having a cat is for it to messily eat pigeons outside the neighbours window and then crap in their flowerbeds? Why would I give it a place to shit inside the house when it's fully capable of taking business elsewhere?

I dont see why it matter where your cat goes for his/her daily dump and sprinkle.

Stare at a cat having a crap and the cat doesent give a crap that your doing at them. Though it could put them off but they walk away.
This is a odd idea but, i dont tink it should cause much trouble, at least its no the prime minister making it all up.
Goverment have just got bored.

Post a comment