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My top ten eleven hates today

Builders who think they know better than their clients - "I didn't think you would want those expensive taps so I got these from Jewsons, only 1.49" - and they are bloody broken a year later. Compared to what you charge by the hour goldfeckingplated ones would be cheaper than replacing them.

Nailing things to trees - I might make an exception for some politicians but otherwise don't put nails in trees unless you want a four inch one through the wrist.

Dirty cups left on the left of sinks. - Right hand side for dirty stuff, please!

Blokes standing at the bar not knowing what they are going to order. If you haven't worked out what the hell you want to drink, and who you are buying for, stand aside and let me through.

Amateur drunks.

Women fumbling for money in their bags - Darling why is it such a huge flipping surprise to you that the checkout girl is going to want paying - is it the first time that you have been let out shopping on your own?

Hanging thick socks on washing lines - that crunchy feeling as you put the peg on - ughh.

Kids calling their parents by the parents name - When the little bleeder is a coked up asbo scrounger on the settee then they might start regretting it.

Kids calling me by my first name - It is either Mr or Uncle ( if I have given you sweeties) otherwise join the queue to be one of the twelve people I allow to call me by my first name - OK brat.


People answering the telephone by saying - "Hello" or "It's me" - Give me a facking clue as to who you are - "Hello, this is Tracey, how can I help?" or is that too hard for your peroxided brain to remember?


What is your opinion of being called 'mate'? Me, I can't stand it.

TE - Used to hate it but a couple of good friends use it so now I am used to it and use it with them!

Hmm, funny that. My bugbear is people who call by after misdialling, and when it is clear that the 'Catholic Horse Mortuary' is NOT their desired calling partner, they start to read out the phone number they misdialled to me, or repeat their demand to talk to their 'friend'. *groan*

On the bright side, sometimes, there can be some entertaining conversations with strangers to be had -- discussions why horses are buried (them's rich horses, the poor ones go to France to snausage heaven) or if a horse can (and should) be religious at all.

I love the telephone =)

(And horses. But only catholic ones)

My name isn't "mate", I say, it's "Watcha mate" and don't you forget it!


To be fair, some of your misdiallers will have misdialled, whereas others will have dialled correctly, but have the wrong number written down. I don't mind putting miscallers right once (as long as they call at a civilised time of day), but if the daft bint that called me three times in five minutes yesterday asking for "Sharon" calls again, I might need to buy a new telephone, because my existing one will be in small bits underneath a large hammer.

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