ten eleven hates today
Builders who think they know better than their clients - "I didn't think you would want those expensive taps so I got these from Jewsons, only £1.49" - and they are bloody broken a year later. Compared to what you charge by the hour goldfeckingplated ones would be cheaper than replacing them.
Nailing things to trees - I might make an exception for some politicians but otherwise don't put nails in trees unless you want a four inch one through the wrist.
Dirty cups left on the left of sinks. - Right hand side for dirty stuff, please!
Blokes standing at the bar not knowing what they are going to order. If you haven't worked out what the hell you want to drink, and who you are buying for, stand aside and let me through.
Women fumbling for money in their bags - Darling why is it such a huge flipping surprise to you that the checkout girl is going to want paying - is it the first time that you have been let out shopping on your own?
Hanging thick socks on washing lines - that crunchy feeling as you put the peg on - ughh.
Kids calling their parents by the parents name - When the little bleeder is a coked up asbo scrounger on the settee then they might start regretting it.
Kids calling me by my first name - It is either Mr or Uncle ( if I have given you sweeties) otherwise join the queue to be one of the twelve people I allow to call me by my first name - OK brat.
People answering the telephone by saying - "Hello" or "It's me" - Give me a facking clue as to who you are - "Hello, this is Tracey, how can I help?" or is that too hard for your peroxided brain to remember?