We'll keep a welcome in the hillsides
...the English – are arrogant, unfriendly and have almost no sense of humour.
Well piss off then you unwashed oiks....(Whoops!)
So what do they think of us?
The French do not perceive they would receive a warm welcome if they visited the UK. And why should they?
the Italians rated us the second least funny people in the world from a nation that elects Zappo the Clown to office that is a compliment, so who do they find less funny? The Marx Brothers?
German respondents believed that only the Russians were less friendly than the British And whose fault is that Fritz? I bet they love you in Stalingrad. If the knuckleheads weren't so preoccupied with greasing their lardy bodies in the sun they would notice what the rest of the ex-occupied countries think of them.
Argentina, meanwhile, ranked Britain 31st in terms of friendliness. "Improving Argentines' perceptions of the welcome is a key challenge for the industry," Keep your thieving hands of our land and we might be nicer.
Italian respondents ranked the UK eighth in the category of being honestly and fairly governed - Thanks, but from the Italians, love them dearly, that is hardly a ringing endorsement, a bit like the French saying we seem to wash.
English-speaking nations such as America, Australia and New Zealand still perceive the British to be welcoming, as did the people of Malaysia. Strange isn't it the very people our leaders insist we shouldn't be close to and have shafted over the years are still our true friends, whereas the great European family is as dysfunctional as Blair family Christmas.
Still the gurus say: "Our sense of humour is very different. It's dry and quirky. That is one of the things that makes us such a unique destination – we have to get that message across."