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What's on your desk now?

Is it just me? My desk is overflowing with stuff again - for some reason I don't feel the readers of this humble blog belong to the minimalist school.
Without excavating the layers scanning my desk from left to right I can see:
Box of pencils - needing sharpening.
Hole punch
Bills to pay
ID card
Tape measure
Cheque Books
Duct Tape
Mobile Phone
Vaseline
Knife
Indigestion Tablets
Red demands from the Taxman - being ignored.
Empty Shotgun cartridge
Interesting flint
Marker Pen
Scissors
Scalpel
Another spent shell
Premium Bonds belonging to my Mother (deceased)
Tea cup
Tin of pens
Calculator
Another hole punch
Two staplers
Cable tie
Keyboard
Mouse
Pens
Birthday card badge
Insulating tape
Inspector Morse Tape
Toddler's toy
Two phones
Bag with dismantled shotgun cartridge in it - shot, powder etc.
Headphones
Knife
USB cables for MP3 player, phone, camera.
6 inch ruler (no centimetres on it)
Old CD
Screwdriver
Empty envelopes.
Dust

How do I tidy it? I need all that stuff around me.

Comments

There's no sense in trying to tidy it. If so, how would you find anything when you needed it? I would be interested in knowing what the Vaseline was for.

So, how much of what is on your desk could get your collar felt? Hmmm?

Knife (Clunk, Click))
Empty Shotgun cartridge (Definitely)
Marker Pen (Looks like a vandal to me Guv’)
Scissors (Why, oh why haven’t they banned these vile weapons yet?)
Scalpel (Did you miss the scalpel amnesty then?)
Another spent shell (An arms cache no less….)
Toddler's toy (not a gender-forming toy gun I hope???)
Bag with dismantled shotgun cartridge in it - shot, powder etc. (My God Guv, call bomb disposal)
Knife (Er clunk, click seems a little old now)
Screwdriver (What the hell do you think you are doing with such a dangerous weapon?)

Sorry mate, you’re nicked. Good luck - Rusty Ray

My desk is far tidier than yours. 'Course, my other desk is a bit cluttered.

ID Card?

ID CARD??

What are you thinking of man.

Might you be a traitor in our midst?

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