The Government should introduce cigarette-style health warnings on all advertising for air travel, holidays that include flights, and at airports, according to new research to be published by the Institute for Public Policy Research (ippr).
When I saw the headline that holidays should get a "Health Warning" I thought too bloody right. It must be like the pain of childbirth, otherwise why would people keep doing it if the horror wasn't forgotten instantly. How can you forget, the arguments over packing, the bloody queue on the motorway for the privilege of parking in a field in Slough where some chav "parking security operative" will fill his boring hours racing your car round the perimeter. The check-in, mewling babies, screaming kids and the prospect of the Marigolds from a sweaty fat uniformed goon. Then three hours wandering past tourist tat trying to avoid the gourmet experience that is dining in a Garfunkels with plastic knives and forks. It is a relief when you are finally shoehorned into a still warm seat on an ageing aeroplane and surrounded by the tattooed and drunken members of some extended family splurging their benefit money that you provided on a fortnight of more drinking and insulting foreigners than they normally manage on a saturday night. And when you arrive at your wind swept, fly blown , filthy concrete wasteland of a hotel all you get is undercooked anaemic chicken and ice cold piss water, not a chance of a cup of tea nor a spot of fresh milk. You then get burnt, blistered, ripped off and you end up welcoming the solitude of the kharzi where your guts are disintegrating but at least you don't have to listen to John and Maureen going on about their bloody conservatory on their new-build in Salford. And the return trip is just the same but worse.
But of course I was wrong.
Simon Retallack, ippr Head of Climate Change, said:
“The evidence that aviation damages the atmosphere is just as clear as the evidence that smoking kills. We know that smokers notice health warnings on cigarettes, and we have to tackle our addiction to flying in the same way.
Oh it is that sort of "research" - where thinly veiled prejudices are dressed up as facts, where condescending smart-arses plan how to command and control every last facet of John and Maureen's lives. Piss off "ippr" - when you have learnt how to use the shift key and do capital letters like the big boys do, why don't you then try to write a grown-up report.