Wrap ‘em all in a mains’l tight
As his sixth birthday approached, Morgan Smith's parents thought hoisting the Jolly Roger would be the perfect way to make the pirate-mad youngster's day.
The flag was duly run up the pole in the back garden, leaving Morgan looking forward to a party on Saturday with lots of friends wearing eyepatches and wielding toy cutlasses.
But little did the family know that out on the treacherous high seas of bureaucracy, trouble was heading their way.
Council officials branded the skull and crossbones flag "unneighbourly" and banned Morgan's parents Richard and Sharon from flying it.
The couple must apply for planning permission at a cost of £75, and then an assessment of the 5ft by 4ft flag's "impact" on the surrounding area of Stone, Staffordshire, will be undertaken....
Keel hauling is too good for them, I hope Stafford Borough Council isn't one of those councils that like to illegally fly the EU rag.
All together now...
Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Rum
written by: Robert Lewis Stevenson 1881 and more lyrics added by Young Ewing Allison 1891
Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil be done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
The mate was fixed by the bos’n’s pike
The bos’n’ brained with a marlin spike and
Cookey’s throat was marked belike It
Had been gripped by fingers ten and
There they lay all good dead men like
Break o’ day in a boozing ken__
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum
Fifteen men of a whole ship’s list
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum
Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
The skipper lay with his nob in gore where the
Scullion’s axe his cheek had shore
And the scullion he was stabbed times four and
There he lay and the soggy skies
Dripped all day in up-staring eyes at
Murk sunset and at foul sur-prise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Fifteen men of ‘em stiff and stark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Ten of the crew had the murder mark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
‘Twas a cutlass swipe or and ounce of lead or a
Yawning hole in a battered head
and the scuppers glut with a yawning red and
There they lay aye damn my eyes
All lookouts clapped on par - a - dise all
Souls bound just con – tra – ri - wise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Fifteen men of ‘em good and true
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Every man Jack could ha’ sailed with old Pew
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
There was chest on chest of Spanish gold with a
Ton of plate in the middle hold
And the cabins riot with stuff un told As
They lay there that had took the plum
With a sightless glare and their lips struck dumb
While we shared all by the rule of thumb
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Fifteen men of a dead man’s chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
We wrapped ‘em all in a mains’l tight with
Twice ten turns of a hausers bight
And we heaved ‘em over and out of sight with a
Yo heave ho and fare you well
And a sullen plunge in a sullen swell
Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Comments
In a sort of inversion of Groucho Marx's quip about clubs that would have him as a member, I think that anyone willing to work as a local government bureaucrat should a priori be prohibited from doing so. And in light of the fact that it was reportedly a 'neighbour' who complained, someone is in dire need of a bag of flaming dog poop on their doorstep.
Posted by: David Gillies | June 7, 2007 8:43 PM
Of course it's unneighbourly, thats the whole point of a pirate flag isn't it?
Posted by: Robert | June 8, 2007 12:29 PM
And here I fly the Jolly Rodger to let my neighbours know I'm home. They never quite adapt to being greeted by "Aarr" when they knock.
Posted by: Jetfxr69 | June 10, 2007 8:58 PM