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Wrap ‘em all in a mains’l tight

Council bans boy, 6, from flying Jolly Roger at pirate party - because it is 'unneighbourly' | the Daily Mail

As his sixth birthday approached, Morgan Smith's parents thought hoisting the Jolly Roger would be the perfect way to make the pirate-mad youngster's day.

The flag was duly run up the pole in the back garden, leaving Morgan looking forward to a party on Saturday with lots of friends wearing eyepatches and wielding toy cutlasses.

But little did the family know that out on the treacherous high seas of bureaucracy, trouble was heading their way.

Council officials branded the skull and crossbones flag "unneighbourly" and banned Morgan's parents Richard and Sharon from flying it.

The couple must apply for planning permission at a cost of £75, and then an assessment of the 5ft by 4ft flag's "impact" on the surrounding area of Stone, Staffordshire, will be undertaken....

Keel hauling is too good for them, I hope Stafford Borough Council isn't one of those councils that like to illegally fly the EU rag.

All together now...

Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Rum
written by: Robert Lewis Stevenson 1881 and more lyrics added by Young Ewing Allison 1891


Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

Drink and the devil be done for the rest

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

The mate was fixed by the bos’n’s pike

The bos’n’ brained with a marlin spike and

Cookey’s throat was marked belike It

Had been gripped by fingers ten and

There they lay all good dead men like

Break o’ day in a boozing ken__

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum


Fifteen men of a whole ship’s list

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum

Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

The skipper lay with his nob in gore where the

Scullion’s axe his cheek had shore

And the scullion he was stabbed times four and

There he lay and the soggy skies

Dripped all day in up-staring eyes at

Murk sunset and at foul sur-prise

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum


Fifteen men of ‘em stiff and stark

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

Ten of the crew had the murder mark

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

‘Twas a cutlass swipe or and ounce of lead or a

Yawning hole in a battered head

and the scuppers glut with a yawning red and

There they lay aye damn my eyes

All lookouts clapped on par - a - dise all

Souls bound just con – tra – ri - wise

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum


Fifteen men of ‘em good and true

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

Every man Jack could ha’ sailed with old Pew

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

There was chest on chest of Spanish gold with a

Ton of plate in the middle hold

And the cabins riot with stuff un told As

They lay there that had took the plum

With a sightless glare and their lips struck dumb

While we shared all by the rule of thumb

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum


Fifteen men of a dead man’s chest

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

Drink and the devil had done for the rest

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

We wrapped ‘em all in a mains’l tight with

Twice ten turns of a hausers bight

And we heaved ‘em over and out of sight with a

Yo heave ho and fare you well

And a sullen plunge in a sullen swell

Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

Comments

In a sort of inversion of Groucho Marx's quip about clubs that would have him as a member, I think that anyone willing to work as a local government bureaucrat should a priori be prohibited from doing so. And in light of the fact that it was reportedly a 'neighbour' who complained, someone is in dire need of a bag of flaming dog poop on their doorstep.

Of course it's unneighbourly, thats the whole point of a pirate flag isn't it?

And here I fly the Jolly Rodger to let my neighbours know I'm home. They never quite adapt to being greeted by "Aarr" when they knock.

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