Don't hurt out of hours
Now I'm bloody angry, I'm a patient man, it takes a lot to get me angry but this morning I have had it.
Last night my sprained back went into spasm so I spent half the night face down in the Axminster in agony. My child bride ministered pain relief and eventually I was able to crawl, literally crawl, back into bed.
This morning I decided I needed some muscle relaxant. My Doctors don't do a Saturday surgery so I thought lets go to my local Hospital:
Treatment service for non life-threatening injuries including stitches for small cuts, limb sprains, minor head injuries, burns etc
Had to ring them up to find out when they open as they don't put that on the web. Went into an empty waiting room with two nurses drinking coffee. "Sorry we only deal with injuries, not illnesses"
"But I've injured my back"
"Here's a number to ring the "out of hours doctors", sorry it is all we can do. You could try taking Ibuprofen and paracetamol....."
No one answers the "out of hours" line so I go the supermarket to get more tablets - "Sorry you can only buy 16 of each".
Can't bloody park anywhere so drive for miles to the next supermarket to stock up on more. 16 will barely get me through a day. Mr and Mrs Stupid and their son Chavhead Stupid keep blocking the aisles as I try to hobble past them, their deciding whether to have lard or dripping flavoured crisps being too important for them to move out the bloody way.
Store manager at Morrisons has the brilliant idea of putting the back rub ointments on the bottom shelf, yes the one you have to bend double to get at if you are looking for something for your back!
Maybe I should ring the vets and say the dog has a bad back - I would get seen within the hour and proper medication prescribed.
So all I can do now is pop pills for the weekend and swear at the television.