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The Hotel Bike

Man who had sex with bike in court - Telegraph
A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.

Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders’ register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

Correct me if I'm wrong but he was in a private locked room not harming anyone - what has he done wrong? Weird yes, and how you have sex with a bike is beyond even my sleazy imagination. (Maybe on the bicyclist bloggers can tell me). As the great PJ said ;" There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."

What's the difference between a bike, a rampant rabbit, suspender belts, or a pair of crimson size 4.5 Manolo Blahniks with a four inch heel and diamanté encrusted straps, to mention objects purely at random. What squelchy things people do in private is none of my business, or the State's.

First they came for the bicycle users, etc.


That was my thought as well. It seems the law he was convicted under covers anybody seeing some sexual activity they disapprove of. "Sexual breach of the peace"? Whose peace exactly? While a bike is an odd choice, does this mean any sexual aid can get you on the sex offenders register? Very very strange.

Perhaps I misunderstood the old joke about the "Faculty bicycle"?

Not done in private, but this is equally a load of puritanical tosh, clearly the young lady was trying to help with recycling by compacting the beer cans.


Bet the unfortunate Bristol Firemen are a bit hacked off with the apparent inconcistency of this case. Was Mr Stewart prosecuted because it was a ladies' bicycle?

"Was Mr Stewart prosecuted because it was a ladies' bicycle?"

Of course! Nothing queer about old Stewart....

(sorry, old joke, I know)

This man should appeal. There's something deeply sinister about this case.

I agree. His lawyer must ensure this case goes to appeal. He has committed no crime, and this looks like a clear miscarriage of justice.

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