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Jacqui Smith Caption Competition

From the Print edition of The Times


"At the official enquiry into the government obesity epidemic, Ms. Smith reveals how many inches she can pinch".

Honestly millibrat tells everyone he's got one this big, but take it from me, milli by name milli by nature, well more like a small cocktail sausage really ....

"I'm well and truly in the tradition of macho Home Secretaries".

Alan Douglas

"You're this close to being put under House Arrest Mr Englishman"

"Upon discovery by the press that the Home Secretary smoked cannabis, Miss Smith indicated she was 'only THIS much stoned' to give her the necessary insight into the government review of the UK Drugs strategy. Miss Smith then inquired whether members of the press present could provide her with any brownies."

"There are two of them; they're about this big in diameter, they're round, flat plastic with a shiny silver layer in the middle, and a hole in the centre. There are two of them, and they may be in an envelope marked 'For Someone at the Audit Office'. And can HMRC have them back, please?"

" I was so chonged last night, I had a bifta this long!"

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