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The Perils of Being Sober


Bugger bugger bugger - I have done it again, a repeat of last spring. Tripped over the bloody dog, (are you sure no one wants to buy him?) Not a drop had passed my lips all day, you only hurt yourself falling when you're sober; drunk, two flights of stairs, you pick yourself up and only worry about the bottle that broke...

As Dr. Kim pointed out ligaments are plastic not elastic, once buggered always buggered. As the old RSM said - Pain is just an unwelcome call from your neurons, treat like you do when the bank manager calls, ignore it.

At least the Brazilian Strap-on is providing relief...


"Brazilian Strap-on "

And I thought I was about to discover whatever it was that Peter Mandleson knows ....

Alan Douglas

Ouch, accelerator foot as well. Should be some pamper miles in that, though, but.

Ouch. I managed to burn my hand on roast potatoes yesterday. I'm particularly incensed because Safety First! I'd poured them into a sieve to let the hot fat run off into a bowl, then I gave them a shake and somehow the red hot spuds managed to escape the sieve and onto my hand, resulting in some nice big red burn marks.

Clearly the government needs to step in. Something must bed done before children are hurt by this roast potato scourge.

I think you'll find that is potatoe scourge.

I think your dog is trying to kill you. I've seen it when it looks at you, and it has a mean expression in its eye.

Worst yet, isn't that your "rail" foot when you go to the King's Arms? How are you going to drink now? Perch on one of them pansy tall chairs?

Ummmmmmmmm are you really really sure that its not gout?

Ouch that looks painful. It may have been karma for such a good picture caption on Mr RM's posting about Broon's Flag Flapping excursion( I daren't say trip). Have you tried medicinal alcohol applied internally to the affected area?

Hie thee to the orthopod, pronto. Last time I buggered the ligaments in my ankle (summer of '95) I was in a cast for six weeks. It was uncomfortable, but the two days of shrieking agony I endured before they plastered my ankle made it worthwhile. Total immobilisation is your only hope of convalescing properly.

Pain is just the weakness coming out.

Eina! I prescribe plenty of bed rest and make sure you take plenty of fluids - dehydration is always a danger in these cases.

Eina! I prescribe plenty of bed rest and make sure you take plenty of fluids - dehydration is always a danger.

Ooops! Too many glasses of North Antrim's finest - I'm typing double :-)

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