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Dear Hugh - Saving the Whale

Dear Hugh on Myspace reveals that the Japanese did require whales for scientific research - research into a complaint peculiar to Japan, known as "mame chin".
According to the delegation, the whales are hunted not to eat (using the flesh for food is a side-product of the exercise) but for a fatty chemical tissue found in the blubber.
"Mame chin", our reddening translator continued, is Japanese for "tiny penis".
Apparently the chaps of the rising sun are not quite the stallions of their counterparts in Europe and America - and that the demand for injections of this whale fat is led by Japanese businessmen who are planning trips abroad.
So miniscule is the average nob of Nippon that businessmen feel they will be humiliated if their condition is revealed on a business trip and that rather than risk losing face, they succumb to these injections, which have effect for up to a month, whenever working overseas.
Understandably, because they don't wish to wave this fact about, they call it "scientific research".
That's the truth.
And so basically if you want to save the whale, tell our whores not to giggle so much.
And I bet they don't tell you that on Newsnight.


I do sometimes wonder, pro-hunting bloke that I am, how well it would fly in court were I up on a charge of murder to claim that the fifteen Japanese I had randomly butchered were merely samples in my research project to ascertain their breeding population.

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