Boris facing state trial as an enemy of the people
In the past 12 months, London has seen approximately 150 murders, 2,000 rapes and 94,000 burglaries. But now the police have found a real villain.
Boris Johnson, Conservative candidate for Mayor of London, is accused of purloining invaluable "Iraqi cultural property" in 2003 - to whit, a cigar case owned by Tariq Aziz, Saddam's foreign minister.
Mr Johnson would have got away scot-free but, like all criminal masterminds, he made one vital mistake: he confessed his sin within days to hundreds of thousands of readers of this newspaper, admitting to taking the case for safe-keeping and pledging to return it on demand.
Bang'im up and throw away the key, it's the only way to treat such people who threaten the safety and security of our great city..
As a Met Police spokesman petulantly said: "The Met works very closely with a number of countries, including Iraq, to recover items that are considered culturally significant. In order to establish the origin and potential significance of the item, such items must be submitted to police custody for further examination.
"The MPS treats the theft of, and cultural dealing of, property from abroad very seriously. The steps we are taking are proportionate with a view to repatriating an item which could be of cultural or historical significance to the Iraqis."