« More Governmental Logo Balls | Main | Friday Night is Music Night (Leaving the best for last) »

Saving the environment with 350 tonnes of paper

I have spent the afternoon having an Environmental Health Check (paid for by Defra).

The first hour was answering questions such as:

Do you comply with The Welfare of Farmed Animals (England) Regulations 2007 No. 2078:

Environmental enrichment:: To enable proper investigation and manipulation activities, all pigs must have permanent access to a sufficient quantity of material such as straw, hay, wood, sawdust, mushroom compost, peat or a mixture of such which does not adversely affect the health of the animals. You sure they don't want PlayStations as well?

Noise levels: Pigs must not be exposed to constant or sudden noise. Only when the buggers bite me....

Then we had ensure I had all the documents that I have to have a copy of. These aren't forms, these are the pamphlets the Government sends out and I must keep.

The file weighs 3.5kg - there is an estimated 106,700 farmers who have to keep these documents in the cause of protecting the environment. Has Defra never heard of putting stuff online?

Comments

Pigs must not be exposed to constant or sudden noise. That's just ridiculous, everybody knows they enjoy raves and rock-n-roll! Just look a concertgoers to see the Rolling Stones!

Oh, the irony.

I'm not a pig farmer -- more of a pig consumer -- but I would have thought that a little diversity in their diet (eg. the occasional Labour politician) woud be just the thing to keep them sleek and in good condition.

I'm not a pig farmer -- more of a pig consumer -- but I would have thought that a little diversity in their diet (eg. the occasional Labour politician) would be just the thing to keep them sleek and in good condition.

Are you perhaps behind enemy lines?

Post a comment