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Happiest Day of The Year - Today!

Grammar schools condemn thousands to failure, says Ed Balls - Telegraph

Fears of more Afghanistan deaths as 'inadequate' vehicle blamed for latest fatalities - Telegraph

Olympics 2012: National Audit Office warns of cost over-run - Telegraph

The £9.3 billion budget for the London Olympics could significantly overrun due to a series of "formidable" challenges facing the organisers, the public spending watchdog warns today

Today is the happiest day of the year according to Cliff Arnall's maths formula - Telegraph

Apparently the feeling of optimism caused by the combination of lighter evenings, the prospect of holidays and memories of childhood summers is at its peak on June 20.

According to the research this has been worked out using the equation O+(N xS)+Cpm/T+He. ...

Be still my dancing feet! I'm just so happy! But at least there is one bit of good news for us farmers:

Two more years of food price misery - Scotsman.com News

GLOBAL food prices will continue to soar for the next two years, producers and analysts warned yesterday, as the Scottish Government launched an inquiry into improving affordability.
The nation's farmers and manufacturers, in Edinburgh for the Royal Highland Show, told The Scotsman they could see no chance of "agflation" easing in the near future.

And even more good news:

Plans to check safety of all garden trees will cost homeowners dear - Times Online

Homeowners face having to pay a specialist to inspect their trees under a safety regime drawn up by one of Britain’s most respected watchdogs.

The British standard for tree safety inspection would require all trees to be checked by a “trained person” every three years, with a still more rigorous “expert inspection” by an arboriculturist every five years.

Tree owners will also be obliged to conduct a “walk-by” inspection themselves once a year.

The drive to make all trees subject to inspection is being led not by the Health and Safety Executive - which opposes the move - but by the British Standards Institution (BSI).

The new British Standard would cover trees growing anywhere near where the public had access, or within falling distance of man-made structures such as other properties. It also covers areas where “branch shedding or whole tree failure could potentially cause severe harm or loss of life”.

But critics say that the BSI is overreacting and fear that a tree standard would spawn a new industry of tree inspection - a bonanza for arboriculturists ...at about £70 a time, or more if they had to climb the tree..

With the public's right to roam over millions of acres, and public access to forests this means nearly every tree in the Kingdom, even at the back of your garden there is a chance a trespasser might be felled by a branch and you would be at fault.

Oh, happy days for us with a forestry qualification, and of course if it is over twelve feet high you can't guarantee it won't fall down so it would be prudent and cost effective to cut it down, and I happen to have a chainsaw handy.

Comments

As Lady Roschild said "No garden, however small, should have less than an acre of woodland".

As Lady Rothschild said "No garden, however small, should have less than an acre of woodland".

I'd be more willing to hire you if you promised to use the chainsaws on some garishly clad trespassers"ramblers"

Dear Lord! Your Bureaucrats have no end of ingenuity and creativity when it comes to new taxes, it must be embraced as an EU-wide initiative equally.

I'm a former grammar school boy and my failure to make my way has nothing to do with my old school. Most of my contemporaries were successful within the remit of grammar schools obtaining when I was a boy. Failures were few then and given that grammar schools are less numerous now Mr Bollox Chops' assertion should be taken with just a pinch of salt and a good helping of mustard and vinegar, unless, of course, he means that those who examine grammar school pupils have decided that candidates have failed to meet the required standard.

As a church warden responsible for a churchyard with many trees I can already see "Tree Inspectors" lining up to send me their invoices. Any chance you could use that chainsaw on a few bureaucrats instead?

If there's one thing that absolutely drives me up the fricking wall it's people like this tosser Chris Arnall who make some off-the-cuff nonsense 'formula' and then get the gullible innumerates who make up the bulk of journalists to publish it as if it were anything other than nonsense on stilts. Look at the units, for God's sake. 'Positive childhood memories per kelvin' (units K^-1) are added to 'holidays expected' (dimensionless). People deserve to be burnt at the stake for errors less egregious than this.

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