A touch of the Max Mosleys
Ouch! My shoulders have been playing up so I bought one of these neoprene shoulder braces off eBay - advertised as being suitable for the larger gentleman. I eagerly ripped open the package at lunchtime and put it on, bit of a struggle but then it is new, I thought. Wrong, it is too bloody small, my shoulders are being wrenched out of their sockets backwards, the neoprene has a vice like grip on my hairs and I can't get my arms round the back to pull it off. I'm bloody stuck in the death grip of a bondage jacket, hot and sweaty, half naked in front of the computer screen. One half of my mind hoping Mrs Englishman comes back home soon to help me out, the other half dreading how I'm going to explain it - and if the door bell goes, I'm not bloody answering it.
And talking of Max Mosely, Mrs E wondered why he was putting himself through the expense and painful exposure of taking the News of The World to Court - well, the fact he admits to being a Masochist might have something to do with it.
UPDATE - A brainwave, I managed to slip a leather belt down my back under the straps and pull it off like that - I'm free! Now to wrap it in plain paper and bin it.