Ah Ha My Lads!
'Come to Portsmouth – it's just like Malta' - Telegraph
Portsmouth has been hailed as the "new Malta" in a bizarre summer advertising campaign.
I'd be tempted if it was like the "old Malta", I first went there aged 16 wearing Her Majesty's uniform, trousers neatly ironed with seven horizontal creases. Bottle of wine seven pence and liberty boat to take us to The Gut (Strait Street) from our base on board HMS St Angelo. Now I guess it is just another fly ridden lump of rock poking out of the greasy sea....