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Intruders in the House - The Times suggests

Where burglars fear to tread - Times Online
....gadgets that keep the baddies at bay

Fake cans of paint and dummy alarms... you may have other ideas they don't mention. The comments section is open.


I always felt that an Ithaca Mag-10 Roadblocker loaded with #00 buckshot acted not so much as a deterrent as a guarantor of no repeat performance.

A framed picture of our glorious Prime Minister in the hallway? On second thoughts, the house would probably fall down under the curse of Jonah.

David, you are a bloodthirsty maniac -- not that there's anything wrong with that, where burglars are concerned -- and I applaud your choice of a low-budget firearm for said purpose.

One's chosen home defence weapon should NOT be anything of real value. As much as one is tempted to show a little class in situations like the above, the natural outcome of goblin ventilation is that said weapons will be confiscated by the rozzers as "evidcence", and if you think you'll ever see them again, I have a bridge on the Thames to sell you.

My own bedside goblin-ventilator is an ancient side-by-side of dubious origin in 16ga, coupled with a dirt-common S&W revolver. As much as I'd hate to lose them to the "evidence locker", their loss would not cause as much distress as, say, the loss of a Colt Python or Perazzi.

My old friend Patterson counseled that one should use a gun to freeze a goblin in his tracks; then, having made the scumbag turn around with hands in the air, beat him to death with a common cricket bat or golf club. But I would never suggest anything so devious.

Well, if you have kids, you could develop a reputation for letting them be late for school - and get a CCTV with 24-hour monitoring installed in your home by the government.
"The Children’s Secretary set out £400million plans to put 20,000 problem families under 24-hour CCTV super-vision in their own homes.

They will be monitored to ensure that children attend school, go to bed on time and eat proper meals."

Just needs another small change in the law, so that if a child should traipse about au naturel the government cannot be taken to court for kiddiep0rn...

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