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This is the sort of English up with which I will not put

A-level computerised exam markers give Churchill a fail - Times Online

They are some of the most memorable and stirring words of the 20th century, but Churchill’s speech exhorting the British to “fight on the beaches” would fail if submitted as a school essay and subjected to a proposed computerised marking system.
The wartime leader had a style that was too repetitive, according to the computer being tested for the online marking of school qualifications. It rated Churchill as below average in the equivalent of an A level English exam.

I thought they just weighed the papers now to judge them, if you want to give prizes to all then of course we can't afford to actually read and understand them.

And no, Churchill probably didn't write the headline...


Perhaps the people at the Times should be failed for failing to recognise the difference between the written and the spoken word. Churchill's speeches were given for dramatic and inspirational effect not their purity of lingusitics.

A fairer comparison would be a tract from The History of the English Speaking Peoples or The Second World War.

Then again, I suspect that the illiterates at the Times are probably unaware that Churchill did write these two significant tomes.

What did Churchill know about English, anyway? He's just a Dead White
European Male, after all. Nobel Prize for Literature? Pshaw! The committee
were racists and awarded it to him when it should have been given to
Rigoberta Menchu. Or somebody female and a bit darker, anyway.

I doubt most English teachers these days could spell anaphora, let alone give a definition of its use as a rhetorical device. My God, we are becoming a dim bunch of sub-humans thanks to these lazy lackwits.

This is what happens when the illiterate confuse literature with rhetoric. I'm surprised they didn't feed this computerized thingy a mathematical theorem -- assuming they'd know what one looks like.

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