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Climate Campaigner Handling Tips For Copenhagen

• To keep Climate Campaigners moving, make sure there’s always a clear way ahead.
• Climate Campaigners don’t like visual dead ends – they don’t move freely towards them.
• Arrange things so that they think they’re about to escape back to their home territory.
• For a dead end, put a mirror on the wall so the Climate Campaigners see a Climate Campaigner to move to for security.
• If you have to put Climate Campaigners along a handling race, pen a decoy Climate Campaigners at the far end to help pull them along.
• Make races narrow enough to prevent Climate Campaigners turning round and blocking the flow
• Make sure the sides of pens and races where you do most of the handling are closely boarded, so the Climate Campaigners cannot see through and get distracted.
• Advancing Climate Campaigners should not be able to see those following them, as they’ll stop then reverse, or try to turn round and block the flow.
• Climate Campaigners following each other should see Climate Campaigners moving ahead, preferably around a bend. Moving Climate Campaigners will generally "pull" the followers with them – once you’ve got a flow going.
• Climate Campaigners move best from dark into light, and generally dislike changes in light contrast.
• Climate Campaigners don’t like bright lights e.g. reflections from windows.
• Climate Campaigners really panic on slippery floors – so provide some grip.
• Climate Campaigners soon get adjusted to any noise used to move them – so keep changing the noise for effect.
• Changing it (or stopping it) will also help prevent the helpers going silly!
• Climate Campaigners remember past experiences. Run them through new facilities a few times and let them think they can escape before you subject them to any unpleasant procedures like ear tagging or shearing.
• If you have badly designed handling facilities that cannot be fixed – keep a "Judas" Climate Campaigner to lead the doubters through.
• To lead other Climate Campaigners into the truck, you can train a Judas Climate Campaigner with some pellets. Make sure the Judas Climate Campaigners isn’t accidentally loaded into the truck though! Cover it with raddle.

Hat tip Dr Clive Dalton

Comments

It'd be easier just to move Copenhagen!

The comparison is a broadly accurate one as any one of a farming disposition will no doubt agree. But if I were a sheep I'd be grossly offended by being compared with such lobotomised brainwashed cultists! After all sheep do make a brake for it from time to time, unlike the warmist faithful.

Brilliant.

Could also be applied to the UK electorat.

Very funny. Great spoof.

"Lobotomized cultist" .. has a nice ring to it. I call them eco-weenies.

Thanks.

Clive (the other Clive)
From over here on the frozen plains of western Canada where it was -33°C this morning ... -43°C with wind chill factored in.

Not baaad. Not baaad at all.

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