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I might have mentioned it once but I think I got away with it.

My German Relatives are arriving later to stay for a few days so no slouching in front of the box watching The Dambusters on a wet holiday afternoon for me. Luckily I know some jokes, and some more jokes to keep the conversation going.

Wish me luck...


Hals und Bein Bruch ....

Alan Douglas

PS What you wish a skier : Neck and Leg Breaks.


Knock Knock

Who's there?

Zee Gestapo

The Gestapo who?


That wasn't bad.

You think Germans have no sense of humour? Oh dear, you're so wrong :)

The classic German joke of course is is to get an Englishman to tell you one of his English jokes and to then ask them with a very straight face to explain the point of the joke -- this then is the actual funny bit, as long as you can keep a straight face whilst you ask a few more questions (So, the reason this is funny is because ...) ;-D

As English Nazi jokes go, you could amuse them by reading them some Tory ideas which are excellent Nazi jokes... for example: http://conservativehome.blogs.com/thetorydiary/2010/03/david-cameron-promises-neighbourhood-army-of-5000-fulltime-community-organisers.html is very funny(especially the Alinsky bit, haha!), and this also is bound to produce much 'mirth': http://blog.conservatives.com/index.php/2010/03/31/our-plans-for-a-national-citizen-service

James, the Gestapo has long ago moved away from Germany and set up shop in the UK, as you can see from the 'Mad Marx' ideas above... oh how we all laughed (not). And no, they didn't knock either but they blogged about it...

In preparation of times to come, perhaps the East German Honecker jokes could be rewritten, also, in the near future, Radio Eriwan jokes may be on topic again. For example, here is an old favorite: "Question to Radio Eriwan: "Is it true that Comrade Brezhnev collects jokes about himself?" Answer: "Basically, yes. But he really collects people who make jokes about him."

Here is a genuine German joke collected by an American sociologist for his book on German humor. The title was: “Life is like a chicken house ladder (there’s s--t on every step)"

A mouse is fleeing from a cat and runs behind a cow,just as she is dropping a cow patty. I fall on the mouse, covering all but the tail. The cat sees the tail, pulls the mouse out, cleans it up and eats it. There are three morals to this story:

1. Not everybody who s--ts on you is out to harm you.
2. Not everyone who pulls you out of the s--t is trying to help you.
3. If you are already sitting in the s--t, at least pull your tail in.

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