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An Irish Farmer Writes

Hello Mr Englishman

I trust your eurosceptic disposition is feeling well and truly tickled at the moment. I'm finding it hard not to break into a chorus of 'Here we go,here we go, here we go'...

But the funniest thing of all is that after being told for years that the Irish crisis has been caused by irresponsible bankers pushing unaffordable loans onto financially illiterate and incontinent borrowers, we now witness the bizarre spectacle of the EU trying to force the mother and father of all loans onto Ireland! Mmmmm.......

Meanwhile, we have a government with a majority of 2. This arithmetic depends on the green party, who don't have a lot to contribute in the way of sound financial management (!) and 2 independents. One of these independents has told the Government that he will only support the budget (December 7th) if it includes MORE money for Kerry, while overall it must cut total public spending by more than 10%. There's a by-election next thursday, which the government will lose. They know this, which is why they delayed holding it for 17 months and were eventually forced to by a legal action brought to the courts by that well known champion of democracy, Sinn Fein. There are 3 more by-elections which are also long overdue for the same reason, and despite the judgement about the first one, the government is using the delays inherent in the court process to delay holding these three till after the budget. The boss, Brian Cowen, has an opinion poll rating of just 11% and a track record as finance minister 2002-2007.

Which reminds me that I once compared the Irish situation to a banana republic where the banana crop had just failed. I read yesterday that the banana crop has actually not failed, but Ireland is in fact the world's largest exporter of bananas (the real fruit ones, that is- not just the proverbial fruitcake sort). How can this be? Is it climate change providing new opportunties to our farmers? Not a bit of it. Under Euro rules, a banana is correctly described as Irish if we do something to it when it gets here. It turns out a lot of bananas get ripened in Ireland and re-exported. Quite a few foreign nationals have been ripened here these last few years as well, and most of these are now being re-exported. Sadly I think we would be better off exporting genuinely Irish articles in both cases. We have a good cheese industry too, and exporting the biggest of these would certainly help.

What an Irony that the Brits used all their money 70 years ago to change the face of Europe. It seems now that the Irish, just 1% of the eurozone economy, are going to bring down Europe by hijacking the money from the Germans et al. I think the Shinners may have learnt a thing or two from Al Quaeda and passed on the wisdom.

Well that was a great rant, wasn't it. Perhaps the Englishman's fan club would be amused, if not greatly enlightened, by some of it. Now that's off my chest I can go and clean some sheeps arses, in the knowledge that I'm in good company.

An Irish Farmer


Begorrah. I tink de man has a point. Or tree.

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