Update - apparently the local Inspector isn't going to do anything because he decided on Friday afternoon that no criminal damage has occurred. He defined criminal damage as permanently depriving of property, which as any fule knows is the definition of theft - Criminal damage is defined by the Criminal Damage Act 1971 which provided a definition wide enough to apply to any tangible property. By section 1(1) of the Act:
A person who without lawful excuse destroys or damages any property belonging to another intending to destroy or damage any such property or being reckless as to whether any such property would be destroyed or damaged shall be guilty of an offence.
The inspector apparently only works Mon-Fri 9-5.