Advice to travellers - Please show your appreciation of officials by handclapping
Fed up with having to queue for hours at passport control at Heathrow on returning from holiday?
Then here’s the good news: there is a new way to jump the line and leave the airport faster. The bad news is that the new way to jump the queue is to get yourself arrested for taking part in a slow hand-clap in the arrivals hall, resulting in your being carted off by your collar in a Black Maria to a police station; with luck quite near your home.
Immigration authorities have grown so rattled by outbreaks of slow hand-clapping among frustrated travellers that they have told police to issue cautions, and even to make arrests, if they sense that the anger might suddenly boil over into a dangerous spasm of civil disobedience.
Of course the other option of actually doing their jobs quickly and efficiently isn't a possibility.