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December 31, 2003
COOLinks
I have just found this old page of random links on a server - I have taken out dead links but I haven't got time to check them all today. No responsibility of what you will find is taken.
Advice - click the "Open links in a New Window" box on the right sidebar here.
Fun Links
http://www.liquid.se/pong.html
(Cool 3D Pong game)
http://www.threebrain.com/weeeeee.html
http://english.pravda.ru/main/2001/07/14/10131.html - this seems to be just a Green Ink article, not sure why it is here.
http://www.cyberjoueur.com
Clean the F**king Kitchen - a simple guide
This was called CLeaning The F**king Kitchen for Dummies until the lawyers got involved.
http://www.antimodal.com/flash/critters04.html
http://www.bigideafun.com/penguins/arcade/spaced_penguin/info.htm (REALLY COOL GAME)
Swearotron
http://www.rathergood.com/swearotron.html
(For use when talking to Sales)
http://members.surfeu.fi/kklaine/primebear.html
http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/games/chicken.htm
http://www.liquidcode.org/worm.html
http://www.madblast.com/oska/humor_warnings.swf
http://www.rathergood.com/vid/
http://www.go2sleep.be/
http://www.bossmonster.com/e4/cricket/cricket.html
http://b3ta.com/kill/g.php?k=990016805
http://www.evolver.co.uk/wayofthestick.html
Posted by The Englishman at 2:43 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Capt. Swing
As the year ends let me try and pull together some threads I have started.
The biggest threat we all face is Islamic terrorism, my optimistic view is that this desperate and bloody revolt is the work of a people who know they are beaten. They are Luddites raging against the machine, they know that western culture and "liberal" values are, with the help of technology, winning the battle for minds. And as always Luddites eventually lose.
In my own fair part of the Wiltshire we had a revolt not long ago - and I will leave you with a quote about The Captain Swing Riots which draws in my threads of 19th century rural suffering (it wasn't just Ireland), the stoic nature of us English and the notion that even we have our breaking point and then we turn to revolt (but even then with restraint).
"At the beginning of the 19th century the lot of the agricultural labourer in general, and those from Wiltshire in particular, was miserable. The decline in their standard of living, which had begun in the late 18th century, was continuing apace. The agricultural depression that set in at the end of the Napoleonic Wars in 1815 worsened an already appalling situation and left many people destitute. Matters declined further with the gradual introduction of machinery, both on the land and in the factories, and the labourers realised that these would deprive them of many of their traditional sources of income. In 1813, Thomas Davis prepared a report on the state of agriculture in Wiltshire by revising a previous work of his father’s published in 1794. He was the steward to the Marquis of Bath of Longleat, and of the labourers he states:
"It is a melancholy fact that ..... the labourers of many parts of this county ..... may be truly said to be at this time in a wretched condition. The dearness of provisions, the scarcity of fuel, and above all the failure of spinning work for the women and children have put it almost out of the power of the village poor to live by their industry. The farmers complain, and with reason, that the labourers do less work than formerly, when in fact the labourers are not able to work as they did at the time when they lived better".
Things got worse during the years that followed. When that great radical William Cobbett visited the Pewsey Vale and the Avon Valley in August 1826, he was appalled at what he found. He prophetically recorded:
"In taking my leave of this beautiful vale I have to express my deep shame, as an Englishman, at beholding the general extreme poverty of those who cause this vale to produce such quantities of food and raiment. This is, I verily believe it, the worst used labouring people upon the face of the earth. Dogs and hogs and horses are treated with more civility; and as to food and lodging, how gladly would the labourers change with them! This state of things never can continue many years! By some means or other there must be an end to it; and my firm belief is, that the end will be dreadful."
Four years later the working man had had enough of poverty and hunger. By this time his conditions were worse that before or during the Napoleonic Wars and they were suffering from "appallingly low wages, bad conditions and incredibly long hours of work". The recently introduced thrashing machine would deprive him of one of his main sources of winter work and so, faced with a generally uncaring ruling class, he took matters into his own hands. The normally passive and quietly suffering labourers of Wessex had, for once, had enough...
Go here for the complete article
Another view on THE SWING RIOTS
Posted by The Englishman at 10:40 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Top Ten War Films
While you are ruminating in front of the telly during this break - ask your self the same question that Courrèges and MSN does; what are your top ten war films?
Quickly off the top of my head here is an Englishman's list
The Great Escape
The Dambusters
633 Squadron
Ice Cold in Alex
The Wooden Horse
Battle of Britain
The Cruel Sea
Bridge on The River Kwai
Henry V
Zulu
Posted by The Englishman at 10:10 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack
December 30, 2003
My type of pilot
Mr Free Market posts about Sky Marshals, here is the audio clip he was missing...
Posted by The Englishman at 5:19 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Teachers
House of Dumb has a good Fisk of the Educrats - let me quote a little:
Turns out the biggest issue facing our train wreck education system isn't rampant illiteracy, endemic bullying, ideological marking, non-existent teaching standards, corruption in the testing process, pervert teachers, drug abuse, bogus sickness claims or appalling personal hygiene.
An unprecedented clampdown on parents who take their children on holiday during term-time has been ordered by Charles Clarke, the Education Secretary.
He is being backed by head teachers' leaders, who are telling schools to review the policy of authorising breaks of up to two weeks, which are viewed by some parents as an entitlement.
Ha! As if you're entitled to do what's best for your kids. Everyone knows that they're government property, you just borrow them. Besides, they only have them for 42 weeks a year, so that missing almost 5% could make all the difference (although constant halts for 'in-service training' have no effect whatsoever, of course).
Funny how 'heads teacher leaders' aren't so finicky about local control when it's someone else ox being gored. Also ironic since, given the sickness rates among the teachoids, restricing them to two weeks a year would be a major achievement.
But I suppose teachers ought to be the bloody experts on Holidays - take this whinge on Long hours
He describes his working day as starting at 8.40am and not finishing until 4.15pm with only 35 minutes break for lunch. One day a week he teaches nine 40-minute lessons and sometimes is required to attend meetings which can last as long as 70 minutes
He asks whether there are any regulations limiting the number of teaching hours a teacher is required to do.
Excessive workload leading to high levels of stress and low morale is a recurrent theme in the modern workforce, but nowhere is it more prevalent than in the teaching profession.
Can you believe it - up to NINE whole 40 minute lessons, wow! that is SIX hours of work, thank God that is only one day a week.
But the slavery has limits:
Teachers in maintained schools have to be available for work for 195 days in any year, of which 190 shall be days on which 'he may be required to teach pupils'.
The maximum number of hours for full-time teachers (other than head teachers, deputy heads and advanced skills teachers) under the direction of the head is 1265.
(Source: School Teachers’ Pay & Conditions Document 1998)
1265 hours - even the French average 1535 hours a year while the Americans average 1976 hours.
Oh and then they do their training during School term rather than in the 14 weeks they have off.
"INSET or Baker days
INSET or In-service Training days were introduced by the then Tory education secretary Kenneth Baker (hence Baker days) so that headteachers could bring all their staff together for training purposes. They should be an important tool for headteachers to help staff maintain and develop their professional skills and knowledge for whole school development planning.
Timing
The organisation and timing of inset days is at the discretion of the individual school and each school is expected to take local circumstances into account when planning the times. Usually they are timed to be at the beginning or end of the school holidays, as this often results in less disruption.
Attendance is voluntary
The secretary of state recognises that teachers may not want or be able to attend INSET days and expects headteachers to respect individual teachers choice and to have respect to equal opportunities."
Equal opportunity to be a skiving git I suppose - and let's not mention the sick day record!
But let us remember that this is probably all good news, kids are bright enough to see if you are a workshy-statist-corduroy-wearing-sandal-shuffling-perpetual student you end up being a teacher. Get a job, work hard, party hard and life is a lot more fun.
Posted by The Englishman at 3:18 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Seeing Red on Planning
I keep trying to work up a reasoned argument and suggestions as to how the planning system could be usefully reformed. Dr Madsen Pirie's experience - see Adam Smith Institute Blog - Planning in detail - seems mild by most but at least he had the balls to fight it. My planning application is in at the moment and I just say yes to their "suggestions" - I once fought and won a nine year battle with them and don't have the energy to do so again.
So my reasoned suggestion is - sorry I can't do it, the Tourette's keeps trying to cut in - deep breath - Before we had planners people built nice house, villages and towns which we now preserve, Five Year Plans belong in Stalinist Russia, - No I can't hold it.. THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT PLANNERS IS THAT COME THE GLORIOUS DAY THEY WILL HAVE MADE SURE THAT THERE ARE ENOUGH LAMPPOSTS FOR US TO HANG EACH ONE INDIVIDUALLY.. sorry I will go and have a lie down now.
Posted by The Englishman at 12:17 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Unmasking the totalitarian tale of Pigling Bland
Beatrix Potter is a favourite author of mine and of my daughter - the videos are also well made.
The stories are of real animals in that they hunt each other and eat other animals ( The horror on a baby sitter's face when she learnt that Jemima Puddle-Duck is saved from the Fox by a couple of hounds was a joy!), and there is a certain darkness in some of the stories, which is both good for and enjoyed by children.
One story The Tale of Pigling Bland was never one of my favourites and seemed a surprising choice to be made into a video. But my three year old loves it and so I know it well know.
Times Online - Newspaper Edition has a great article on the tale:
"THE closing days of George Orwell’s centenary year provide an opportune moment to consider the totalitarian — or Stalinist — dimensions of Beatrix Potter’s The Tale of Pigling Bland." which reveals new dimensions to it, and maybe makes it an educational choice for our children.
Unmasking the totalitarian tale of Pigling Bland
By Guy Liardet
THE closing days of George Orwell’s centenary year provide an opportune moment to consider the totalitarian — or Stalinist — dimensions of Beatrix Potter’s The Tale of Pigling Bland. Orwell wrote in Animal Farm: “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”
Conversely, at Potter’s Pettitoes Farm, the anthropomorphised piglets control nothing; the farm is not generating the agricultural surplus even to feed its own — “four little boy pigs and four little girl pigs are too many altogether”. “Yus, yus, yus,” said Aunt Pettitoes, “there will be more to eat without them.” So there has to be a transport, a cull of the disenfranchised.
Pigling Bland and his brother Alexander are sent off to market with various minatory strictures about their behaviour and the all-important “pig papers” — their licences to go to market — which have been obtained from the police after “no end of trouble”.
“And remember,” they are gratuitously told, “if you once cross the county boundary you cannot come back.” An atmosphere of political tension has been created. What happens after “market” is not discussed.
On the way the brothers eat their picnics and indulge in horseplay. The pig papers get mixed up. They sing the famous ditty, “Tom, Tom the piper’s son, stole a pig and away he run.”
“What’s that, young sirs? Stole a pig? Where are your licences?.” This is a heavily policed society; the brothers have run into the uniformed police foot patrol inevitably to be found on this quiet country lane between town and farm. Alexander cannot find his papers and is escorted away in police custody.
Pigling Bland proceeds on alone, finds he has Alexander’s papers in his pocket, panics, gets lost and has to spend the night in a henhouse. The owner, significantly named Mr Peter Thomas Piperson, is an ill-favoured prole, operating on the margins of economic viability and the law. He arrives to select some hens for market and finds Pigling Bland. He makes a singular remark, “Hallo, here’s another”, and seizes Pigling by the scruff of the neck.
Piperson’s plans for Pigling are conditioned by the fact that “the hens had seen this pig” and might betray him to the authorities. To cut a long story short, he returns from market slightly drunk and fails to lock up properly. Pigling Bland thus meets “the other”, a perfectly lovely little black female Berkshire pig called Pig-wig. “Stolen,” she replies to Pigling’s inquiry.
They escape, starting before dawn as the hens might shout to Mr Piperson. The sun rises while they were crossing the moor and revealed a beautiful landscape. “That’s Westmoreland,” said Pig-wig. Pigling no longer wants go to market, he wants to grow potatoes.
They must get to the bridge and the county boundary “before folks are stirring”. They keep under a wall, having seen a man ploughing.
Disaster! Here unfolds a scene akin to countless nerve-racking tales of borders and escapes from oppression. Between the two fleeing pigs and the boundary, a tradesman’s cart comes up the road. Pigling feigns a bad limp. The horse shies and the pair are noticed. “Hullo! Where are you going to?” It is, of course, a given that everyone has a Stasi-like interest in everyone else. “Are you deaf? Are you going to market?” Pigling nodded slowly. “I thought so. It was yesterday. Papers? Pig licence?”
The grocer’s jurisdiction apparently allows him to demand and read these examples of statist bureaucracy, but he is dissatisfied. “This here pig is a young lady; is her name Alexander?” He decides to drive on and speak to the ploughman — automatically assuming that the ploughman will have a similar interest in the proper management of oppression.
Of course, as in all police states, the grocer would be fully au fait with the status of the boundary, but such a lame pig could not possibly make a run for it.
But they do. They come to the river, they come to the bridge — they cross it, hand in hand — then over the hills and far away Pig-wig dances with Pigling Bland!
That the boundary was not marked by barbed wire, watch towers and tethered dogs expresses the vocabulary of 1913 rather than that of 1984. Let’s hope that Pigling and Pig-wig passed unscathed through the Westmoreland asylum-seekers’ sieve, testing negative for swine-fever, and were able to find a plot in which to plant their potatoes.
Posted by The Englishman at 11:44 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Don't mention the war
So the German relatives are over staying with us for a couple of days. My little Girl is playing with her new dolls house. The visiting child opens the attic and spots some dolls. "Oh look, dere are some hiding in der attic. I vonder who they are?"
Thank goodness I managed to stifle my automatic response, "the Frank family" otherwise I think it would have been a very frosty evening.
Posted by The Englishman at 11:13 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
December 29, 2003
Even Better News
The Edge of England's Sword is sharp and cutting in a foreign field:
An improved climate - The Washington Times: Commentary
In 2003, more and more people realized alarmism over climate change is based on uncertain science and bad economics. If that trend continues in 2004, it could be a very good year indeed
Posted by The Englishman at 12:23 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
More Good News
The econazis suffered a set back when the perverse decision to clear them was reversed and they were fined.
UK Indymedia | Pink Castle Four Suffer Perversely Pricey Ping Pong Justice
On 15th December 2003 a District Judge in Weymouth, Dorset found 4 anti-GM activists Liz Snook, Olaf Bayer, Richard Whistance and Will Hart guilty of aggravated trespass for attaching themselves to tractors in an attempt to prevent the sewing (sic) a farmscale trial of GM maize near Weymouth in May 2002. The four were given conditional discharges lasting 18 months, 1 person was ordered to pay £250 court costs and the other three were ordered to pay court costs of £1000 each.
Some of the activists are planning to refuse to pay their court costs and are willing to go to prison if need be. Others due to personal circumstances are going to have to pay their court costs and would really appreciate any help that people are able to offer in paying their costs. offers of help should be sent to info@geneticsaction.org.uk
Yesterdays guilty verdict and sentencing marks the end of a drawn out and contradictory legal process. In March 2003 all 4 activists were cleared of aggravated trespass by the same District Judge. At the original trial, he commented that the four had acted in a "reasonable" way and said "I can see you all have huge knowledge of GM crops and I can see you were acting to protect the land and animals."
However, in November 2003 following a successful appeal by the Director of Public Prosecution, 2 high court judges overturned the District Judges earlier decision, and ruled that the four activists should be sent back to the magistrates court with an order to convict and sentence and them.
Now what suggestions to help them shall I email to them? - "have a bath" springs to mind; oh, if you do go to prison, when the big guy asks if you want to play Mummies and Daddies then smile you have made a special friend...
Posted by The Englishman at 12:17 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Good news.
"I think I'm going to start blogging again soon"
Posted by The Englishman at 11:39 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 26, 2003
I hope this works
Thanks to a tip at The Alliance
"Blog Tips: Spell Checker
I was browsing around last night over at Electric Venom and ran across a post by guest blogger Kevin of Wizbang.
He recommended a new spell checker for IE based browsers called IESpell. So, I followed the link, downloaded and installed the program and gave it a test run."
So I'm doing the same - it could be a great help to me!
Posted by The Englishman at 7:26 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
December 24, 2003
Problem solved
Like most bloggers I spend a stupid amouint of my time looking to see who reads my stuff and so I was perplexed by my search query log:
24 Dec, Wed, 08:33:13 Google: ceylon+suicide+paris+1903
24 Dec, Wed, 10:18:09 Google: suicide+paris+1903+ceylon
24 Dec, Wed, 10:44:38 Google: 1903 ceylon paris
24 Dec, Wed, 12:29:51 Google: politically correct holiday greeting
24 Dec, Wed, 13:35:34 Google: ceylon suicide paris 1903
24 Dec, Wed, 14:19:41 Google: commonwealth 13 colonies
24 Dec, Wed, 14:28:36 Google: suicide hotel paris 1903
24 Dec, Wed, 14:29:36 Google: Ceylon Paris suicide 1903
Why the sudden interest in Ceylon Paris suicide 1903 ?
The answer is the wonderful King Billy Quiz.
Scire ubi aliquid invenire possis, ea demum maxima pars eruditionis est.
Merry Christmas!
"Scire ubi aliquid invenire possis, ea demum maxima pars eruditionis est"
1. In 1903:
1 who founded the WSPU?
2 what speed limit was imposed on motor cars?
3 who was the Sublime Paralytic, who died of cholera?
4 whose weekly journal began to publicise atrocities in the Congo Free
State?
5 whose residence at Holly Lodge was commemorated by the first blue
plaque?
6 whose handwritten catalogue described works for sale at their Peckham
residence?
7 who was hounded by the Governor of Ceylon to suicide in a Parisian
hotel?
8 which Franco-Peruvian reached his journey's end on Fatu Iwa?
9 in what was the Chimney-Sweep the first victor?
10 how was Giuseppe Sarto renamed?
2. Which pioneer:
1 was the Oldham egg-collector?
2 experimented with family planning in Hispaniola?
3 achieved whole-hearted substitution in the "great barn"?
4 discovered the anaesthetic and analgesic properties of laughing gas?
5 devised a system of raised point writing at the Institution des Jeunes
Aveugles?
6 is now credited with the discovery of the retrovirus which compromises
immunity?
7 combined a surgical approach to Schizophrenia with Portuguese diplomacy?
8 described his invention in Traité de l'auscultation médiate ?
9 discovered in soil, an agent to counter Koch's bacillus?
10 worked out inheritance in Moravia?
3. Who painted:
1 the church of Auvers?
2 the church of St Séverin?
3 a 404 ft spire with a rainbow?
4 the church of St Jacques near the Quai Duquesne?
5 a Notre Dame lookalike in a "pretty" town by the Seine?
6 a Norman cathedral, more than 20 times, from above a draper's shop?
7 the Confessor's building with a procession of KCBs?
8 Mariakerk, with Buurkerk and the cathedral?
9 the old church in Sundborn?
10 the church at Blainville?
4. Who composed:
1 Alligator Hop?
2 Maple Leaf Rag?
3 Stevedore Stomp?
4 Riverboat Shuffle?
5 Bourbon Street Parade?
6 Shim-me-sha-Wabble?
7 One O'Clock Jump?
8 Muskrat Ramble?
9 Milneburg Joys?
10 St Louis Blues?
5. What culinary delicacy misleadingly suggests:
1 sugary loaves?
2 Maharashtrian poultry?
3 a citrous dairy product?
4 a North British gamebird?
5 a bunny from the Principality?
6 tarts filled with ground ungulate flesh?
7 a partly concealed amphibian?
8 a lizard from Banffshire?
9 a dachshund in season?
10 satanic riders?
6. What:
1 is 3.14159?
2 is back to back clothing?
3 represents one millionth of a metre?
4 was the timely creation of Louis Brandt?
5 fraction of serum contains the antigen opposition?
6 cerebral activity consists of oscillations with a frequency of 8-13
hertz?
7 is the destination of the posterior fontanelle?
8 blockade was investigated by Black?
9 project was devised by van Veen?
10 is a minimal amount?
7. In which town:
1 was Ryan's bridge too far?
2 does a modern bridge recall Gerritszoon?
3 did Mesdag create his suburban panorama?
4 did Freeling's Piet advance to Commisaris?
5 was silence doubly assured by Balthazar Gerard?
6 did Gerard and Anton establish their Incandescent Lamp Works?
7 did the peacemakers cede Gibraltar to Britain?
8 did van Aeken adopt his natal city's name?
9 does the Elfstedentocht start and finish?
10 did the Goblin arrive by mistake?
8. Who or what:
1 was Tashunka Witco?
2 is 4400 foot pounds per second?
3 was devised by Niels and Janne Olsson?
4 supplied St Pancras vestry with eight acres for a cemetery?
5 is a cocktail of ginger ale, brandy and a twist of lemon?
6 was the apparatus instrumental in the escape from a Silesian POW camp?
7 stands where the Alaska and Klondike highways meet?
8 has two daughters crying "Give, give"?
9 nebula is adjacent to Zeta Orionis?
10 was Sir Anthony Meyer?
9. In which city might one wait at:
1 Sants?
2 Saint-Jean?
3 Santa Justa?
4 Santa Lucia?
5 San Giovanni?
6 Santa Apolónia?
7 Saint-Charles?
8 Sint Pieters?
9 Saint-Loud?
10 São Bento?
10. What:
1 bleeds at St Brynach's?
2 is tallest of all at the Hermitage?
3 is Coleridge's Lady of the Woods?
4 did the Jews hang their harps upon in Mesopotamia?
5 Christmas bloomer came from Joseph's staff on Wearyall?
6 was the HQ of the Kentish smugglers Quested and Ransley?
7 provided a perch for the Royal fugitive after Worcester?
8 conundrum was introduced by Archibald Menzies?
9 is St Lawrence's unique feature?
10 shelters the village smithy?
11. Who or what:
1 was the Pontus Axeinus?
2 was that young Mars of men?
3 sticker was succeeded by brown in 41?
4 was Billy's ante-mortem gift from the blind beggar?
5 name was on the lid of a box to be left with Barkis till called for?
6 was acquitted in Mogador on the evidence of Lady Cicely Waynflete?
7 had a particular wish to turn down Moultrassie avenue?
8 blemish arises from the oxidation of sebum?
9 is Leicester's troglodyte cannibal?
10 is Dendroapsis polylepsis?
12. Identify titularly:
1 Sauron
2 Heartwell
3 James Durie
4 Thorkell Mylrea
5 Francisco Scaramanga
6 Zafrillah bin Ismail bin Said
7 Sir Edward Manley
8 Harvey Birch
9 Alec Leamas
10 Gabilan
13. Who:
1 was Levi, the taxman?
2 was executed at Achaia?
3 is associated with Pecten maximus?
4 was the second martyr after Stephen?
5 was accompanied by his wife on his missionary travels?
6 financed the purchase of the Field of Blood with his reward?
7 may, or may not, have been the Patmos seer?
8 is remembered annually with Simon?
9 was the twin, who needed proof?
10 came on as a substitute?
14. Translate further, to the popular English name:
1 harvester
2 little plum
3 farmworker
4 little brother
5 green-footed chicken
6 grass widow on Ithaca
7 swift immerser
8 softest body
9 goat-milker
10 watchman
15. Complete:
1 Angela, Saphir, Ella, ...
2 apples, cherries, hops, ...
3 ..., Nuoro, Oristano, Sassari
4 Rheingold, Walkure, Siegfried, ...
5 Mildred Harris, Lita Grey, Paulette Goddard, ...
6 ... , Norbert Brainin, Siegmund Nissel, Martin Lovett
7 Burnt Norton, East Coker, ... , Little Gidding
8 de Morville, de Tracy, ... , Brito
9 Justine, Balthazar, ... , Clea
10 market, home, ... , none
16. Which waterfall:
1 is Ireland's highest?
2 embraces three county boundaries?
3 is adjacent to a succession of three bridges?
4 is traversed by Lord Tweedmouth's iron bridge?
5 according to Borrow, resembled thin, beautiful threads?
6 saw the Buggane come to grief through a cut apron string?
7 is eddying and whisking and spouting and frisking?
8 can be seen through More's eyes on the Mound?
9 witnessed the death of a sleep-walker?
10 is Skene's overflow?
17. Who:
1 is Ingvar Kamprad?
2 showed that k=A exp(-E/RT)?
3 was represented by Verdi as Renato?
4 was the "curator of the secrets of 82 nations"?
5 successfully absorbed nitroglycerin in kieselguhr?
6 beat Floyd, but was felled by him the following year?
7 marched his invading army across the frozen sea?
8 was tutored in philosophy by Descartes?
9 wrote about an anserine passenger?
10 devised a binomial flora?
18. In 2003:
1 who did 42.195 x 7 in 7/365?
2 who was stitched up after a managerial tantrum?
3 what took Baumgartner 12 minutes and 3 seconds?
4 who scored three golden ducks and one short of a ton?
5 who was tempted to recommend Schultz as a concentration camp commandant?
6 who, sadly, can no longer advise us to eat the hamburger and throw away
the bun?
7 who got in through St George's after a quick change in the Highlander?
8 whose failure to avoid dying has ruined his career?
9 which diary has given way to capital espionage?
10 how did Sweden score 56-42?
Derrick
Posted by The Englishman at 5:13 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Xmas music
Here is the music you need - and also you can track Santa on his trip tonight thanks to NORAD.
Posted by The Englishman at 12:09 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Boxing Day
Boxing Day Meets - Hunts across the country are working to make sure that more people than ever before come hunting on Boxing Day 2003.
Many hunts are advertising details of their meet and extending an open invitation for everyone to join them on Boxing Day. Click here to see a list of meets.
Make sure all your friends and neighbours know that they are welcome to join their local hunt on Boxing Day
Posted by The Englishman at 12:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
No Freak Show please!
Samizdata.net has the definitive post as to why we don't want the Olympics in London. I have been trying to tie up a couple of threads to comment on the same for a while.
1) The Royal Mail wants to apologise to us for the strikes so what do they do, promise to do better, welcome competition, send us all a free stamp - no they offer £1m to the London Olympic Games Bid - bastards.
2: There was a report that Sportsmen have emotional retardation and most professionals had an emotional age of 13. Tantrums, inability to tell wrong from right, lying, cheating etc. I have been trying to find the report to link to do but have given up , but I know I didn't imagine it. So is that what we want to encourage our younsters to do - to become emotionally crippled phtsically deformed drug taking whingers? (I'm also convinced that the long term cost of sports injuries is on a par with tobacco - lung cancer kills quickly but dodgy knees go on costing!
Posted by The Englishman at 6:43 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 23, 2003
Festive Cheer
Hootinan.com
who has a stronger stomach than me and actually reads the Guardian reports that Polly Toynbee has been had for a sucker by the Nigerian scam artists - and she is stupid enough to admit it! Go and read and enjoy, but don't blame me if you splutter port and stilton over your keyboard. Because the best part is - George Bush is to blame for it all!
Posted by The Englishman at 3:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Christmas nuts
Dr Madsen Pirie at the Adam Smith Institute is worried about his Brazil nuts. He blames the EU for banning them. Strangely the International Tree Nut Council make no mention of such a ban. Now I believe in blaming the EU for all the ills of the world - as a first approximation it is an acceptable truth. But I worry the good Doctor has been had. What I did find is that Food Quality News
reports that "measures to ensure unshelled Brazil nuts from Brazil, that contain aflatoxins above regulatory levels, do not enter the EU" as well as "aflatoxin-contaminated Chinese peanuts, Iranian pistachios and Turkish figs, pistachios and hazelnuts do not enter the European Union"
(The Decisions have been enacted into English law by The Food (Peanuts from China) (Emergency Control) (England) (No. 2) (Amendment) Regulations 2003, The Food (Pistachios from Iran) (Emergency Control) (England) Regulations 2003 and The Food (Figs, Hazelnuts and Pistachios from Turkey) (Emergency Control) (England) (No. 2) (Amendment) Regulations 2003, which came into force on 31 July 2003. - Sorry I couldn't find the Brazil nut banning measure!)
Now as a student of Forest Sciences I alway regale my guests with the news that that Brazil nuts ONLY grow on wild trees and are actually your real live food gathered from the Amazon Rain Forest by Genuine Natives - which sort of instills a bit of glamour to them, I suppose.
But then I notice the Grauniad having to publish an apology:
"We exaggerated the height of the brazil nut tree, Bertholletia excelsa, in a report headed In a nutshell, this species is endangered, page 5, December 19. We said it achieved heights of up to 150 metres (about 500 feet). No tree reaches such a height. It should have read 50 metres (about 160 feet). "
That is because you were using the STUPID metric system which means you couldn't visulise what you were writing about.
But maybe the tree is endangered, No, it seems that prices are just too low: In 2002 it was reported:
"Firstly, we had historically high prices for two years and that encouraged the Brazil nut collectors in the interior of Brazil and Bolivia to press further into the jungle to take out anything that looked like a Brazil nut. Ultimately they brought out enough nuts to put the market in an oversupply position and the price advance came to a screeching halt and slowly but surely the market started to inch its way down. The road to the lows that we saw late last year and early this year turned into an expressway as buyers stopped buying and sellers became more anxious to sell. This past January, as the shellers in Brazil, Bolivia and Peru began to assess the new crop, it became apparent that with prices being so low it was not profitable for them to advance money to the collectors to go deep into the jungle to pick up the Brazils. There was absolutely no incentive for them to do it."
So the Adam Smith Institute should be celebrating the shortage - Honest market forces are at work, the toxins are genuinely nasty (and maybe it is a case where government intervention is required) and as the market swings back the Indians will cherish the trees as a cash crop again and not chop them down.
Posted by The Englishman at 2:55 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Sorry Elsie!
I published the original slur in good faith and am happy to correct the record. Sincere apologies:
Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian
A letter purporting to be from Elsie Owusu, who was awarded an OBE earlier this year for her services to architecture, was published on our Letters page (page 27, December 2 2003). The letter was in fact a forgery and should never have been published. It was not written by Ms Owusu and she does not hold any of the views expressed in it. The letter falsely alleged that Ms Owusu was considering returning her "honour" because of what she saw as English disregard for black concerns. It said that unless she was persuaded that her OBE was a symbol of hope for young black women, she would shortly be returning it. Ms Owusu has no intention of returning her OBE which she was honoured to receive. We apologise to Ms Owusu for any distress and embarrassment caused by our genuine mistake in publishing this letter.
Posted by The Englishman at 2:29 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Why I won't be celebrating Kwanzaa
Trying to find why AOL is blocking emails I need to send I came across this article in The American Spectator.
Firstly it confirms my belief that AOL SUCKS. and secondly it gave me the details on something I was dimly aware of - that Kwanzaa as a festival is a fraud, a Marxist fraud at that, recently founded by a torturer in sordid violence, paranoia, and mayhem some three decades ago in a section of America that has vanished down the memory hole.
And here just to annoy the censors is the banned poem:
'Twas the night before Kwanzaa
And all through the 'hood,
Maulana Karenga was up to no good.
He'd tortured a woman and spent time in jail.
He needed a new scam that just wouldn't fail.
("So what if I stuck some chick's toe in a vice?
Nobody said revolution was nice!")
The Sixties were over. Now what would he do?
Why, he went back to school -- so that's "Dr." to you!
He once ordered shootouts at UCLA
Now he teaches Black Studies just miles away.
Then to top it all off, the good Doctor's new plan
Was to get rid of Christmas and piss off The Man.
Karenga invented a fake holiday.
He called the thing Kwanza. "Hey, what's that you say?
"You don't get what's 'black' about Maoist baloney?
You say that my festival's totally phony?
"Who cares if corn isn't an African crop?
Who cares if our harvest's a month or two off?
Who cares if Swahili's not our mother tongue?
A lie for The Cause never hurt anyone!
"Umoja! Ujima! Kujichagulia, too!
Collectivist crap never sounded so cool!
Those guilty white liberals -- easy to fool.
Your kids will now celebrate Kwanzaa in school!"
And we heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight:
"Happy Kwanzaa to all, except if you're white!"
Posted by The Englishman at 12:04 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Miserable Moore
Guess who is No 1 on Google for Miserable Failure now!
Ho ho ho.
Posted by The Englishman at 10:14 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 22, 2003
News from the Left Coast
Keep an eye on the earthquakes - there has been a 6.4 in the last hour or so.
Recent Earthquakes in California and Nevada - Index Map
"initial reports indicated a few unspecified injuries, a structure collapse and otherwise mostly minor damage."
Hope it stays that way!.
Posted by The Englishman at 8:59 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Christmas Cheers!
So there I am sat in the pub on a lovely sunny Sunday morning in December.
The pub is an old thatched building in a pretty Wiltshire village. The beer is good, the food can be excellent, as can be the company. And I recalled a comment left on the blog from an American about not having seen inside an English pub. So here you are. I hope that you all have a great Christmas and joy wherever you meet your friends and family. And I will still be sat here waiting to be served - do you think they have seen through my disguise?
Posted by The Englishman at 4:38 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Getting ready for Xmas
A UK-Style Christmas Cake for Dummies
While we already have ours cooked, I thought this might be useful for anyone whose Castle is not completely ready yet.
(I'm also posting this so I know where to find the receipt next year - or in the spring when I want to make a Simnel cake)
Posted by The Englishman at 1:56 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Who is Louis Galvez?
I woke the other day with theis quote floating around in my head "When you remove the pin, Mr. Hand Grenade is no longer your friend." I don't know where I heard it so I googled it. A couple of site credit a Louis Galvez with being the author.
But when I Google Search: Louis Galvez I don't get an answer as to who he was. It is not often my searching lets me down, so do you know who he was, and where the quote came from?
Posted by The Englishman at 11:05 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
December 21, 2003
Always look on the bright side of life
BBC NEWS | Business | Berlusconi goes cool on the euro
Italian premier Silvio Berlusconi has said the European single currency has yet to deliver any economic benefits.
In an end-of-year press conference, Mr Berlusconi said the euro had "so far produced many negative effects."
- But it is all OK because the future will be different!
Posted by The Englishman at 1:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
"Get a Grip"
BBC NEWS | Wales | Speeding policy under scrutiny
North Wales Police has come under repeated criticism from both the public and former officers for its push to catch speeding drivers in the area.
The Chief Constable, Richard Brunstrom, was told by retired assistant chief constable Elfed Roberts to "get a grip" and focus on catching criminals.
No that would be too difficult, real criminals are nasty and violent and work unsocial hours - much better idea to alienate the normally law abiding...
Posted by The Englishman at 1:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 20, 2003
You couldn't make it up!
BBC NEWS | England | West Midlands | Postman sues over 'too many letters'
A Black Country postman is taking legal action over claims he pulled a muscle carrying too many letters.
Alan Pugh is accusing University of Wolverhampton lecturer George Chryssides of being inconsiderate after allegedly posting 270 letters in a city centre post box.
Mr Pugh, 53, who works for Royal Mail's Wolverhampton depot in Sun Street, claims he had to take a week off sick due to a pulled muscle and lost £286.96 in pay.
Dr Chryssides, who is denying liability, said he assumed postmen knew how to deal with full post boxes.
No comment needed!
Posted by The Englishman at 10:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 19, 2003
It's Friday...
Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk . . .
a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon
Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk . . .
a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transsubstantiate
Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk . .
a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I wont make any attempt to dance, I have zero
co-ordination.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
Posted by The Englishman at 5:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
The Shortest Day
Don't listen to the misinformed! amaze your friends! Bore the whole pub! this year the shortest day ISN'T the 21st - it is the 22nd.
The Sky This Week tells us:
As we await the coming of the winter solstice on December 22nd, we can take some comfort in the fact that we have now experienced the earliest sunsets for the year. Since our time-scales are based on the position of a theoretical Sun versus the actual Sun's apparent path in the sky, the times of earliest sunset and latest sunrise don't correspond with the theoretical Sun's position, giving rise to the discrepancy. Rest assured that the shortest day will indeed fall on the 22nd, but for now enjoy the later sunset times.
Posted by The Englishman at 2:10 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 18, 2003
Eco Gongs
Philip Stott points out the wonderful timing of the Guardian's Eco Gongs 2003
John Vidal and Paul Brown
Wednesday December 17, 2003
The Guardian
International Contrarian Award goes to Sceptical Environmentalist author Bjorn Lomborg, who this year was accused by a Danish scientific committee of gross negligence and "not comprehending science". It said: "Objectively speaking, the publication of the work under consideration is deemed to fall within the concept of scientific dishonesty."
- Ha Ha Ha, do we get an apology tomorrow!
The rest of the awards are as stupid:
Unsustainable Development Award goes to the transport secretary, Alistair Darling. This year, he continued to preside over a crumbling public transport system, while increasing fares, protecting the motorist and reinstating the roads programme. To cap it all, Darling came up with an expansionist aviation white paper, with its new runways and ludicrous forecasts for ever-increasing air travel and the prosperity this will bring to Britain.
- Diddums, why ludicrous? What protection for the motorist?
Brass Neck Award goes to Thames Water, which has the leakiest mains in the country, with an astonishing 50%-plus wastage rate in north London - more than Leeds uses in a year. Unrepentant, the company revived plans for a giant new reservoir next to the Thames, near Oxford.
- May be not everyone in London wants to be a smelly unwashed Hippy, and presumably the leaked water is recycled through the aquifer or is it lost for ever?
Bjorn Lomborg Contrarian Award goes to Senator James Inhofe, of Oklahoma, who went to the climate talks in Milan and announced that global warming was "the greatest hoax ever perpetrated". As chairman of the US Senate environment committee, he will have been aware of the recent World Health Organisation report that stated that climate change was already killing 160,000 people a year - a figure that is soon expected to double.
Sounds like he is talking sense - note the difference between "Global warming" code for human caused change and "Climate Change" a natural process. And if for one moment we accept the 160,000 figure, that is not many people on a global scale, when the money spent on Kyoto could save millions if applied to supplying drinking water for instance.
Senator Inhofe Services to British Contrarianism Award goes to Claire Fox, panelist on the Moral Maze BBC Radio 4 programme and director of the Institute of Ideas. Fox and her erstwhile Living Marxism (LM) chums have had a shrill year trying to undermine the "precautionary principle", organic food and Kyoto, which they say are against progress.
Hey sounds like these "Living Marxists" talk sense, and I always thought Marxists didn't - what is going on?
Newcomer Contrarian Award goes to Ceri Dingle, also part of the LM network, whose slogan is: "Let's forget about Kyoto. We want the poor driving Ferraris!"
Abso-bloody-lutely, are you sure you are a Marxist?
Stuffed Shirt Award for Reintroduction goes to the landowners, and others with vested interests, who have resisted so stubbornly the reintroduction of the beaver in Scotland, an important and fun addition to Britain's wildlife.
Now I like a bit of beaver as much as the next man, but why "important"? Beavers do illegal damming of streams and cut down trees without permits, they are not just fun cuddly creatures. And for a balance we would need at least one large carnivore introduced as well to control their numbers as I doubt trapping will be allowed.
Red Kite Award for Reintroduction goes to the Great Bustard Consortium, a coalition of amateur enthusiasts and scientists, chaired by a former policeman and set up only in 1998, which will reintroduce the birds to Salisbury Plain in Wiltshire next year.
Amateurs indeed, it has been tried before a couple of times, I hope it works this time but it has nothing to do with real wildlife management. - Do you think they will be fat enough fopr next Christmas?
Jonah Bad News Award goes to the International Energy Agency, which predicts that China's increase in greenhouse gas emissions from 2000 to 2030 will almost equal that of the rest of the industrial world put together.
As they move from smokey wood fires to electric cookers
Chico Mendes International Protester Award goes to Lee Kyung, the Korean farmers' leader who committed ritual suicide at the World Trade Organisation talks in Cancun to draw attention to the tragic effects of unfair trade rules. Runners-up are the 150 Mexican farmworkers who stripped naked and invaded their parliament. The British award goes to Martin Forwood, who chained himself to a railway line at Barrow in protest against the import of Italian spent nuclear fuel and was fined £250.
Ken Livingstone Local Politician Award goes to Ken Livingstone, for successfully introducing the congestion charge - but the judges stipulate that the London mayor may be stripped of the accolade if he persists in backing a £500m road bridge over the Thames that will add to pollution in some of London's poorest areas.
The Happy Mule Award for GM goes to the British government for its stubborn persistence against all scientific evidence, public opinion, and opposition from supermarkets in voting for the import of GM sweetcorn. It was agreed this month to get in before regulations protecting the consumer.
"all scientific evidence"; my arse!
Houdini Political Escapism Award goes to former environment minister Michael Meacher, for the GM farm-scale trials. Designed to get the government off the hook in its first term, the four years of scientific trials into whether GM was good for the environment turned up firm results. Having insisted that science should be paramount, the government seems to have no alternative but to say no to GM oil seed rape and beet.
Get someone who understands long words to explain to you what the trials proved - it was nothing against GM, but showed the effects of different herbicide policies.
Goof Award goes to Margaret Beckett, the environment secretary, for her plan to abolish English Nature as part of sweeping reforms of how services to rural Britain are delivered, and failing to recognising the crucial role it has in defending sites of special scientific interest against crass development.
Oh great, they have got rid of a QUANGO - do you really believe that after this reshuffle there will be LESS bureaucrats protecting us?
Most Bizarre British Month Award is shared between seven this year. January had the warmest day since records began; February was the second sunniest in 42 years; March was the sunniest ever; Britain had its warmest April in more than 50 years; June was the warmest since 1976; August saw the highest temperature ever recorded - at Faversham, Kent; and September was the sunniest in more than 40 years.
And December has the most 2003 Christmases in it of any month - meaningless stats.
Local Environment Group Award is shared between Impact, the small Teesside group that opposed the entry of the "ghost ships" from the US, and Ban Waste, for its long campaign against an incinerator in Newcastle upon Tyne. A runners-up award goes to TCC, a coalition of community groups in Wrexham, north Wales, that has fought against the building of a giant incinerator and forced the company to modify its plans.
Any chance you can round all these "community" groups up into one big hall for a "special" prize giving - now that would be useful!
Missed Target Award goes to English Nature, the government's statutory advisory body on nature, which is responsible for the upkeep of Britain's 4,112 sites of special scientific interest. Last week, it was revealed that more than 40% are in a ropey condition - the target stipulates that 95% must be in favourable condition by 2010. At this rate, it may get there by 2022. Runner-up was the British government for increasing carbon emissions through burning too much coal.
Ropey being a precise scientific term that I obviously missed when I studied. I think it translates as 40% of site managers want more money to put up signs and gates.
Posted by The Englishman at 11:30 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
In a Good Cause.
Local news that cheered me up this morning:
FOUR teenage girls are being handcuffed together for the day to raise money for Hammer Out, the charity set up to raise funds for research into brain tumours.
Good for them, pink fluffy handcuffs, pretty young girls, anything I can do to help, my dears?
Steady Tiger! - having lost a very good friend to a Brain Tumour I am very pleased to see the much maligned local youth trying to help.
Posted by The Englishman at 10:41 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
"Jesus like a suicide bomber" - BBC
I heard a promotional snippet on the radio for this program this morning.
BBC - Religion & Ethics - Jesus
A talking head said that it was "an awful simile, but that Jesus was like a suicide bomber in that he believed his death was the important thing". (from memory).
I'm no theologian but I believe the technical term for that is bollocks and offensive bollocks at that.
Let us assume that Jesus did see his death as the important thing he had to do and, so contrary to teachings, arranged it, so it was a type of suicide.
I can think of three suicide scenarios:
Despair - not applicable.
Suicide Bombing - the aim is kill other people as well as your self, It is an act of hate. I think Jesus was trying to save other people.
Heroic self sacrifice, - falling on a handgranade to save the rest of the platoon, a father saving children from a fire, helping people down the stairs of the Twin Towers. They are acts of love - Now that is an analogy that should be used.
The BBC is full of people who see Suicide Bombers as romantic heros in the struggle and so it would never have occured to them what a twisted and disgusting simile this is.
Posted by The Englishman at 10:21 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Lomborg Vindicated
The Edge of England's Sword: Lomborg Vindicated -- Again
Good news for truth, science, the environment and Lomborg believers.
What took them so long to find the Danish Committees on Scientific Dishonesty were dishonest? - if they had any sense of decency they would recant and resign. For a whole year the Greens have used this smear, and I bet will continue to do so.
A large Carlsberg I think for lunch - no maybe that is a sacrifice too far!
Posted by The Englishman at 10:00 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
December 17, 2003
Happy Birthday.
I can only echo the Adam Smith Institute Blog in wishing the aeroplane a Happy Birthday.
As with the car it has given us the freedom to travel cheaply. The enormous benefits of this can not be understated, but they can be opposed. It is not the environment that the Moonbats care about, it is people choosing to travel how and when they want to. If only they were happy to wait for the state to provide rational travel arrangements on a pre planned basis life would be so much more controllable.
Of course such controls shouldn't be applied to really intelligent people, such as the Moonbats, as their travel is important and for the good of the world.
Exhibit 1: George Monbiot, an environmentalist, wrote a piece in yesterday's Guardian calling for "a day of international mourning. December 17 2003 is the centenary of the world's most effective killing machine."
.. he tried to apply the killing point to civilian flights, saying that commercial planes are a "weapon of mass destruction" because of their environmental effects.
Exhibit 2: George Monbiot, author of Manifesto for a New World Order, speaks in Sydney on Tuesday 15 July 2003 at 6.30 pm, the Valhalla, Glebe
Fiercely controversial and yet utterly persuasive, what Monbiot offers is a truly global perspective.
George Monbiot has held visiting fellowships or professorships at Green College, Oxford and the Universities of Bristol, Keele and East London, in (respectively) environmental policy, philosophy, politics and environmental science. He is currently visiting professor of planning at Oxford Brookes.
This event is co-sponsored by Oxfam Community Aid Abroad, Gleebooks & The Adelaide Festival of Ideas.
Posted by The Englishman at 5:16 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Open the envelope!
Highlights from The EURSOC Awards for outstanding services to Euro-dissidents.
In Third Place: Donald Rumsfeld
On the 22nd January, Rumsfeld highlighted the divisions in his famous speech on Old and New Europe:
Germany has been a problem and France has been a problem, Rumsfeld told Washington's press corps, but you look at vast numbers of other countries in Europe, they're not with France and Germany... they're with the US.
You're thinking of Europe as Germany and France. I don't. I think that's old Europe.
In Second Place: Sweden
on the 14th September, they delivered a whopping No vote, defeating the Yes campaign by 14 points - on a higher than expected 80 percent turnout.
In First Place: Polish PM Leszek Miller
This award was going to go to French president Jacques Chirac. No-one has done more to advance the cause of Euro dissidents in 2003.
However, Miller's defence of his country's voting rights takes EURSOC's first award because his stance and the EU's response to it demonstrates so many things that are wrong about the union.
Posted by The Englishman at 3:46 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
The Irish Famine
Many years ago before I went up to Oxford to study Agricultural Science my wise old Tutor, Dr.Dawkins, set me to research The Irish Famine. The famine is still being used as a rod to beat the English up and maintain the Irish as a victim nation. As always the truth is never pure and never simple but it is a long way from the mythology that is spread - for instance by Law in New York:
"History teaches us," said Governor Pataki, signing the relevant law into effect in 1996, "that the Great Irish Hunger was not the result of a massive failure of the Irish potato crop but rather was the result of a deliberate campaign by the British to deny the Irish people the food they needed to survive."
If you care about the truth, whether it is about science, economics or history, pull up a chair and read :