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August 31, 2005

Section 93(4) Taxes Management act 1970

Whoops my Tax returns are late - well in fact they were sent in on time and they have been lost so Gordon's Lackeys are getting their knickers in a twist: So I have received a couple of "Notices of Determination of Penalty for a late Tax Return". £100, Kerching!.
So whilst I leave my accountant to argue as to whether I owe the money it seems like a good time to wheel out the Neil Herron defence:

Dear [name],

Please find enclosed a copy of Notice of Determination of Penalty for a late Tax Return which I received on today. It was issued by "The Officer in Charge" and is attempting to impose a 'Penalty Charge' of £100

Upon checking the legislation, I was surprised to find that HM Revenue & Customs, appear to be attempting to extort money from me in an unlawful manner. Please find enclosed an extract of the Bill of Rights Act 1689, enacted and formally entered into Statute following the Declaration of Rights 1689. I draw your attention to the section that I have highlighted:

"That all grants and promises of fines and forfeitures of particular persons before conviction are illegal and void".

This states that a conviction is necessary before a fine or forfeit can be imposed. As you will be aware, the Bill of Rights is a "constitutional statue" and may not be repealed impliedly. As stated in the "Metric Martyrs" Judgment in the Divisional Court (18th February 2002) by Lord Justice Laws and Mr Justice Crane (I will paraphrase, but have included a copy of the judgment's relevant sections 62 and 63):

62."We should recognise a hierarchy of Acts of Parliament: as it were 'ordinary' statutes and 'constitutional statutes.' The special status of constitutional statutes follows the special status of constitutional rights. Examples are the ... Bill of Rights 1689 ... 63. Ordinary statutes may be impliedly repealed. Constitutional statutes may not…"

I am not aware that the Taxes Management act 1970 makes express reference to repealing the Bill of Rights Act 1689.

Therefore, it would appear that HM Revenue & Customs and its agents have no lawful authority to demand money for an alleged infringement that has not been dealt with by a Court of Law. If you wish to proceed against me, please refer the matter to a Court of Law in an orderly fashion. Otherwise, the forfeit demanded of me is illegal and void.

Please also confirm to me in writing that you have advised the relevant officers of the HM Revenue & Customs that they are acting illegally by attempting to claim powers which are forbidden to them, and that all issuing of penalties is being done only after conviction by a Court of Law.

Yours sincerely, etc

1. Photocopy of Late Tax Return: Penalty Noitice
2. Extract of the Bill of Rights Act 1689
3. Extract of Metric Martyrs Judgment, sections 62 and 63.


An Act Declaring the Rights and Liberties of the Subject and Settling the Succession of the Crown


And thereupon the said Lords Spiritual and Temporal and Commons, pursuant to their respective letters and elections, being now assembled in a full and free representative of this nation, taking into their most serious consideration the best means for attaining the ends aforesaid, do in the first place (as their ancestors in like case have usually done) for the vindicating and asserting their ancient rights and liberties declare:

That the pretended power of suspending the laws or the execution of laws by regal authority without consent of Parliament is illegal;
That the pretended power of dispensing with laws or the execution of laws by regal authority, as it hath been assumed and exercised of late, is illegal;
That the commission for erecting the late Court of Commissioners for Ecclesiastical Causes, and all other commissions and courts of like nature, are illegal and pernicious;
That levying money for or to the use of the Crown by pretence of prerogative, without grant of Parliament, for longer time, or in other manner than the same is or shall be granted, is illegal;
That it is the right of the subjects to petition the king, and all commitments and prosecutions for such petitioning are illegal;
That the raising or keeping a standing army within the kingdom in time of peace, unless it be with consent of Parliament, is against law;
That the subjects which are Protestants may have arms for their defence suitable to their conditions and as allowed by law;
That election of members of Parliament ought to be free;
That the freedom of speech and debates or proceedings in Parliament ought not to be impeached or questioned in any court or place out of Parliament;
That excessive bail ought not to be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted;
That jurors ought to be duly impanelled and returned, and jurors which pass upon men in trials for high treason ought to be freeholders;
That all grants and promises of fines and forfeitures of particular persons before conviction are illegal and void;
And that for redress of all grievances, and for the amending, strengthening and preserving of the laws, Parliaments ought to be held frequently.

Thoburn v Sunderland City Council [2002] EWHC 195 (Admin), [2003] QB 151 ("Metric Martyrs" ruling) 18 Feb 2002 [Extract]

62 Where does this leave the constitutional position which I have stated? Mr Shrimpton would say that Factortame (No 1) was wrongly decided; and since the point was not argued, there is scope, within the limits of our law of precedent, to depart from it and to hold that implied repeal may bite on the ECA as readily as upon any other statute. I think that would be a wrong turning. My reasons are these. In the present state of its maturity the common law has come to recognise that there exist rights which should properly be classified as constitutional or fundamental: see for example such cases as Simms [2000] 2 AC 115 per Lord Hoffmann at 131, Pierson v Secretary of State [1998] AC 539, Leech [1994] QB 198, Derbyshire County Council v Times Newspapers Ltd. [1993] AC 534, and Witham [1998] QB 575. And from this a further insight follows. We should recognise a hierarchy of Acts of Parliament: as it were "ordinary" statutes and "constitutional" statutes. The two categories must be distinguished on a principled basis. In my opinion a constitutional statute is one which (a) conditions the legal relationship between citizen and State in some general, overarching manner, or (b) enlarges or diminishes the scope of what we would now regard as fundamental constitutional rights. (a) and (b) are of necessity closely related: it is difficult to think of an instance of (a) that is not also an instance of (b). The special status of constitutional statutes follows the special status of constitutional rights. Examples are the Magna Carta, the Bill of Rights 1689, the Act of Union, the Reform Acts which distributed and enlarged the franchise, the HRA, the Scotland Act 1998 and the Government of Wales Act 1998. The ECA clearly belongs in this family. It incorporated the whole corpus of substantive Community rights and obligations, and gave overriding domestic effect to the judicial and administrative machinery of Community law. It may be there has never been a statute having such profound effects on so many dimensions of our daily lives. The ECA is, by force of the common law, a constitutional statute.

63 Ordinary statutes may be impliedly repealed. Constitutional statutes may not. For the repeal of a constitutional Act or the abrogation of a fundamental right to be effected by statute, the court would apply this test: is it shown that the legislature's actual – not imputed, constructive or presumed – intention was to effect the repeal or abrogation? I think the test could only be met by express words in the later statute, or by words so specific that the inference of an actual determination to effect the result contended for was irresistible. The ordinary rule of implied repeal does not satisfy this test. Accordingly, it has no application to constitutional statutes. I should add that in my judgment general words could not be supplemented, so as to effect a repeal or significant amendment to a constitutional statute, by reference to what was said in Parliament by the minister promoting the Bill pursuant to Pepper v Hart [1993] AC 593. A constitutional statute can only be repealed, or amended in a way which significantly affects its provisions touching fundamental rights or otherwise the relation between citizen and State, by unambiguous words on the face of the later statute. 64 This development of the common law regarding constitutional rights, and as I would say constitutional statutes, is highly beneficial. It gives us most of the benefits of a written constitution, in which fundamental rights are accorded special respect. But it preserves the sovereignty of the legislature and the flexibility of our uncodified constitution. It accepts the relation between legislative supremacy and fundamental rights is not fixed or brittle: rather the courts (in interpreting statutes, and now, applying the HRA) will pay more or less deference to the legislature, or other public decision-maker, according to the subject in hand. Nothing is plainer than that this benign development involves, as I have said, the recognition of the ECA as a constitutional statute.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:13 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Carpe Diem

Clarke standing for Tory leader; the Foreign Office busy briefing that the only solution to Iraq is a civil war, and we might as well pull out now and let it happen quickly rather than later; my tax demand and how Adam Smith's Pin Factory and the advantage of specialisation is so distorted by taxes that there comes a time when it is more economically rational to do a non-optimum job yourself than do your optimum job and pay the layers of tax to give the proper worker his fair share. Oh, there are a heap of blog entries I have nearly written but my heart isn't into it again today.
On Saturday I started to write how I had conclusive proof that Pork Scratchings caused Hang-overs - my little dig at the distortions of cause and effect was going to show how it was only when I had eaten Pork Scratching I felt rough the next day; that I only eat them when I have drunk too much was to be left unsaid, as was that it is only when I have been drinking with the Good Colonel that it happens.
Some of you may be familiar with the odd mention Mr Free Market and myself have made of the Good Colonel. He is a very dear friend of ours, an Army Officer of bravery and daring combined with intelligence, he had just finished a years course at Cambridge University. Friday night he and I gathered round the beer pumps of the King's Arms and put the world to rights. He was having a great time, just finished the course and excited about going off to Baghdad for a year in an important role. His wife and children, who he dotes on, were at the seaside so he was having a couple of days of selfish fun. With Ian every day is a day to make the most of and enjoy. The weather was set fine and the wind in the right direction for him to be able to go Paragliding on Saturday on the hills above the village, a sport he loves and does to a high standard.
Something went wrong; he had a serious crash on Saturday afternoon. He is on life support in Intensive Care. I don't know his prognosis but if anyone can pull through it is him. My thoughts are with his wife, children and family and at times like this I miss having the Faith that would enable me to pray for him. But I keep repeating into the ether:
"Ian, go on, make it, you can do it - we want you back."

by Robert Herrick

GATHER ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying :
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher he's a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he's to setting.

That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer ;
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may go marry :
For having lost but once your prime
You may for ever tarry.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:42 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 30, 2005

Don't offer them an inch

Brussels presses for metric Britain - Sunday Times - Times Online

BRUSSELS bureaucrats have been in talks with British officials about abolishing the mile, pint and acre in favour of kilometres, litres and hectares. ..
The approach was made in the past few weeks by the commission, which says it has been lobbied by unnamed parties to raise the issue. ..
A spokesman for Günter Verheugen, the European commissioner on enterprise and industry, said Britain was obliged to fulfil its promise to scrap imperial measures.

I note that Grunter's website boasts:

EUROPA - Vice-Preseident Günter Verheugen - Homepage
...as Vice-president and Commissioner for DG Enterprise and Industry, it has become my responsibility to increase competitiveness in the EU.

More growth, more competitiveness and more employment in the EU have to be the foremost political priority in Europe in the next few years if we hope to ensure the survival of the European model into the 21st century. I intend to do everything within my power to make sure that we achieve these objectives.
This task though concerns all of us: the European institutions, the Member States, social partners, institutions and organisations. Reaching this ambitious goal will require determined effort from all quarters of society and the personal commitment of every individual.
Are you interested in modern industrial policy, better regulation, the promotion of innovation and entrepreneurship, support for small and medium-sized enterprises and the space or defence industries? On this web site, which also links to the web site of the Directorate General for Enterprise and Industry, you will find a wealth of information and advice. I invite you to share your ideas with us and learn from others' positive experiences.
Please join me in moving a good deal closer, over the next few years, to our goal of becoming the strongest, most innovative economic area....

And how is bullying us to turn metric going to help that?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:01 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 29, 2005

The Englishman gave up his dream of becoming a Concert Pianist

Image taken on 29/8/2005 9:49

Posted by The Englishman at 8:59 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 28, 2005

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Playing Pooh sticks at the Pub and our own GB, author of the Dear Hugh Ietters, won First Prize at the Flower Show for his biscuits.
Image taken on 28/8/2005 15:12
Image taken on 28/8/2005 16:13

Posted by The Englishman at 8:13 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 27, 2005

Country Pastimes

National Organisation of Beaters and Pickers Up - NOBs

Posted by The Englishman at 10:10 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 26, 2005

Open Comment Thread

Crazy mad fool that I am I upgraded this blog to run on Movable Type 3.2 today. Looking good so far but if you wish to test it and its super new comment spam management then fire away in the comments on anything you want to - you know there is nothing else to do this long weekend.
Thank You and have a good one.

Posted by The Englishman at 1:49 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Quack quack

BBC NEWS | Health | Medics attack use of homeopathy

A leading medical journal has made a damning attack on homeopathy, saying it is no better than dummy drugs.
The Lancet says the time for more studies is over and doctors should be bold and honest with patients about homeopathy's "lack of benefit".
A Swiss-UK review of 110 trials found no convincing evidence the treatment worked any better than a placebo.

What works is having someone caring sit down and listen to you - they give you a little pill at the end so it seems like medicine when it is really therapy. I suppose, unlike many Doctors and Hospitals, it is unlikely to harm you. However, to be blunt, homoeopathy is bunk. What gets on my tits is the attitude of the Snake Oils Salesmen:

A spokeswoman from the Society of Homeopaths said: "It has been established beyond doubt and accepted by many researchers, that the placebo-controlled randomised controlled trial is not a fitting research tool with which to test homeopathy."

So it doesn't work under proper trial conditions - what research tool should we use then, Aunty Ethel telling us how it is the only thing to cure her "nerves"?

Posted by The Englishman at 5:53 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

August 25, 2005

Plod stupidity

Kim du Toit - brings us the story -

Martin Pearson, 48, and his 14-year-old son, from Sheffield, were on a fishing trip in Scarborough when they bought a plastic pistol and a rifle from a seafront stall.
But they sparked an alert when a member of the public spotted them with the guns and told police. An armed response unit surrounded the pair before they were handcuffed and put in a van while sniffer dogs searched their car. The pair were arrested and taken to Scarborough police station and held for five-and-a-half hours while their fingerprints, photographs and DNA samples were taken before they were released on bail at 4.30am.

The follow up is even more worrying:

News - Sheffield Today: News, Sport, Jobs, Property, Cars, Entertainments & More

A spokesman for North Yorkshire Police said the pair were spotted by a concerned member of the public.
"Even police firearms experts, who are highly trained, close up cannot tell the difference between a BB gun, toy or lethal weapon."

Well that fills me with confidence...

Posted by The Englishman at 8:57 AM | Comments (27) | TrackBack

The old Spinmeister sees the light

The Times Online guest contributors Opinion

Regrettably, c'est la France
Alastair Campbell

A wonderful holiday place, yes. But the French are depressed, not least by the burden of regulation

... if you talk to the same kind of French people we have been talking to, you could hardly underestimate their sense of depression and decline.

I can report that virtually every one of the French businesspeople we have met this year has expressed strong opposition to the 35-hour week. Perhaps more surprisingly, the opposition seems to be shared by virtually every one of the French tourists we have talked to. Their complaint is not that they work less than they did — that bit seems to please them. It is that they now have more time for leisure and holidays, yet severely reduced spending power.
...I have detected this year a far closer echo of the persistent complaint heard so often in a far less regulated Britain — that regulation is doing real harm to the economy and people’s living standards. The French are a proud people, but seem to be going through a period of depression....

The European Social model seems to be losing its appeal even to the most loyal Blairites.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:22 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 24, 2005

Daily Devilment

The Devil's Advocate is a regular column with a cult following built up over years of appearing in several UK regional newspapers. The author is the mythical Barry Beelzebub who shares with us his wicked, irreverent and controversial thoughts and views on the world today.

One for the daily blogroll..

Posted by The Englishman at 10:53 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Neil Herron gets lucky

Neil Herron: National Parking Adjudication Service...on the record

Whoops - Neil who is doing heroic work exposing the system, was phoned by one of his targets, who then forgot to turn his mobile phone off as he discussed the case with his boss. Sometimes the good get lucky.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:50 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Another victim

Britain, UK news from The Times and The Sunday Times - Times Online

A FARMER who was run over and killed by a car thief stealing his Land Rover may have been trying to save his dog, police said yesterday.
Mick Boffey, a 61-year-old grandfather, jumped in front of the Land Rover Defender to stop the thief as he drove off. The farmer was left dying from head injuries as his wife Bernice and friends tried to save him.

His dog, Jack, a border terrier cross, always travelled in the Land Rover and Mr Boffey may have been trying to prevent his pet being stolen.
The former stray, who had been Mr Boffey's companion for the past three years, was later found unharmed in another farm vehicle.

What a shame he didn't have a more effective way to stop these scum available, but then this is England.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:33 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Terrorist victory

Telegraph | News | Victory for the fanatics

A family that breeds guinea pigs for medical research announced yesterday that it was to close its farm in a final attempt to get back the remains of a relative whose body was dug up by animal rights extremists.

David, John and Chris Hall said that Darley Oaks farm in Newchurch, Staffs, would close by the end of the year.

Their family, friends and business associates have been subjected to a six-year campaign of terror and intimidation that culminated last October in activists digging up and stealing the remains of Chris Hall's 82-year-old mother-in-law, Gladys Hammond, from St Peter's churchyard in Yoxall, Staffs.

Timothy Cruttenden Smith, the family's lawyer, said it was "a very, very bad day for democracy".

He said: "It is an undemocratic day when a campaign of terrorism stops a hard-working, law-abiding family from undertaking an activity that is crucial to research and upon which the lives of many elderly people depend.

"A little piece of freedom died today. I don't suppose there is a single day where they don't think about Gladys's remains. They are experiencing emotional, spiritual and traumatic problems."

A spokesman for Save the Newchurch Guinea Pigs, a campaign group set up in 1999 to lobby for the farm's closure, said: "This is the most fantastic day of my life. It's a victory for the animals and it's a fundamental victory for the animal rights movement. I feel so unbelievably proud to be part of the movement."

I can't blame the Halls who have bravely carried on for far longer than I would have done, but every time these terrorists win in encourages them in their next campaign.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:26 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 23, 2005

Gunboat Diplomacy or Handbags at Dawn.

BBC NEWS | World | Europe | Canada sends navy to Arctic north

The move follows a spat between Canada and Denmark, over an uninhabited rock called Hans Island in the eastern Arctic region.

A visit there by Canada's defence minister last month angered the Danes.

Now two Canadian warships, the Shawinigan and the Glace Bay, are on a mission to display what Canada calls its territorial sovereignty over parts of the Arctic it believes are within its borders.

Now I'm one who always wants global peace and harmony but the prospect of a small colonial war between two, frankly pussy, countries fills me with delight. Both countries have a glorious military history, and some bellicose bloggers, so maybe this will be the wake up call they need.
Go to it boys, you know what he said when you back was turned don't you, and what he said about your mother, that wasn't right; tell you what I'll hold your coats, clear a bit of space, go on...

Posted by The Englishman at 9:14 AM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

It's the blogs what won it

Number Ten Watch
Recently, our Great Comrade/Leader/Fuhrer/Generalissimo Blair has been on holiday in Barbados at Cliff Richard's pad. This was supposed to be a secret...The original media blackout was led by Blair's director of communications, David Hill. It was not a D-Notice as some said. That would have taken legal action, while instead the ban was enforced by an e-mail sent by Hill to all corners of the media, newspaper editors, radio stations, TV et cetera....Of course the blogosphere had already revealed the location..
This whole episode really does display the timidity of the mainstream media, more interested in striking deals with the political Establishment rather than interrogating and attacking it.


Posted by The Englishman at 6:44 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Not quite Tom Brown

BBC NEWS | England | Wiltshire | Father sues over son's expulsion

The father of a pupil at an exclusive private school plans to sue over its attempts to expel the boy...his son says that the 400 misdemeanours he is being punished for are all relatively minor.

I always thought Private schools, like a shop, could serve who they liked and ban who they didn't. They are a private business and so it should be up to them how they run it. And if I was paying through the nose I wouldn't want my children to be living alongside another pupil who is stupid enough to be caught 400 times. Of course in my day Old Chalky and his cane would have sorted the boy out..

(I suppose as he has a Welsh name he will be claiming race discrimination - though most people might think that a disinclination to use vowels is reason enough to expel a chap.)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:32 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Slow news day

Telegraph | News | It's official: scientists prove why accountants are boring

Because they are.... still probably not as boring as the research scientists who did this stunning bit of research.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:17 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Leopard changes spots - shock horror

Telegraph | News | I was wrong to back the Euro, says Clarke

Kenneth Clarke, the former chancellor, has branded the euro "a failure" in an apparent attempt to win the support of Conservative eurosceptics in his push for the Tory leadership.

If he wasn't after the job would he have renounced his beliefs?

Posted by The Englishman at 6:14 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 22, 2005

Nice Rack

My choice of hat for my morning walk:
Image taken on 22/8/2005 8:24

The broad brim and airy crown suit walking round this broad flat landscape, and the waterproof one suits this morning's weather.
Of course I also like the American West and as well as the people and landscape I admire the spirit of freedom and personal responsibility, the self reliance, the courtesy and old fashioned values that it had, and still has.
Of course If I wanted to be intellectual about it I could turn to "The Not So Wild Wild West" by Terry Anderson or even The American West: A Heritage of Peace - Mises Institute, but in the UK the intellectual view is put thus in the Sunday Times:

The intellectual's guide to fashion: Cowboy hats
Professor Gideon Garter

When Roland Barthes published his semiotic analysis of clothing, Système de la mode, in 1967, he was already moving away from the structuralism, which had been his guiding principle when he began the work 10 years earlier, towards the poststructuralism that would carve his name for ever on the marble tablets of cultural memory. As such, it would be erroneous to invoke his name in seeking out the ”meaning” of cowboy hats. We must look instead for a matrix of interreferential connotations that will acknowledge the hat’s roots in the mythos of the Old West and reveal what it suggests, semiotically, today. For example: the wholesale extermination of the American bison, the destruction of the native Americans, gun law, slavery, lynchings based on ethnic prejudice, gangsterism, vigilantism and violence. All these together may make it hard, when a stetson passes in the street, or on a dancefloor in Ayia Napa, to declare: “Nice hat.”

Posted by The Englishman at 8:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 20, 2005


Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com

MOSCOW (Reuters) - Russia's long winter will just fly by for a herd of Russian cows which, a newspaper reported on Tuesday, will be fed confiscated marijuana over the cold months.
Drug workers said they adopted the unusual form of animal husbandry after they were forced to destroy the sunflowers and maize crops that the 40 tonnes of marijuana had been planted among, Novye Izvestia daily reported.

An extra pinta a day for my Wheetybangs is called for I believe, nothing a like a good breakfast to get you set up for the day.

Posted by The Englishman at 12:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 19, 2005

Tony Blair holidays on at the Landfall Villas, Sandy Lane, Barbados (maybe).

We seem to have forgotten the row over his last holiday because with a lot of arm twisting he has enforced a press blackout for this holiday. Of course it was noted at the funeral of the Ginger Whinger - (a man of such deep "Honesty and Principle" that as a devout atheist they thought it appropriate to grant him a religious service). And the reason that Fleet Street has been arselickingly compliant - "security".

"The secrecy is certainly a sign of angst over security, said Glover, the columnist, in an interview. "But it is also convenient for Blair," he said. "Every year when his holiday plans are disclosed there is a certain amount of fun had at his expense because he is not a very rich man but he has rich tastes." In the past, Blair has stayed at the villas and on the yachts of millionaires from the Caribbean to Italy to Egypt, and much has been made about how he always seems to have a "freebie" vacation that would cost common folk tens of thousands of dollars."

Of course the more holidays they take the less damage they do so I wish he would continue for a few more months, or years but his paranoia reflects badly on him compared to former PMs and the Royal Family. How well a previous Elizabeth put it when she was in real danger:

My loving people,
We have been persuaded by some that are careful of our safety, to take heed how we commit our selves to armed multitudes, for fear of treachery; but I assure you I do not desire to live to distrust my faithful and loving people. Let tyrants fear, I have always so behaved myself that, under God, I have placed my chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and good-will of my subjects; and therefore I am come amongst you, as you see, at this time, not for my recreation and disport, but being resolved, in the midst and heat of the battle, to live and die amongst you all; to lay down for my God, and for my kingdom, and my people, my honour and my blood, even in the dust. I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too, and think foul scorn that Parma or Spain, or any prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realm; to which rather than any dishonour shall grow by me, I myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field. I know already, for your forwardness you have deserved rewards and crowns; and We do assure you in the word of a prince, they shall be duly paid you. In the mean time, my lieutenant general shall be in my stead, than whom never prince commanded a more noble or worthy subject; not doubting but by your obedience to my general, by your concord in the camp, and your valour in the field, we shall shortly have a famous victory over those enemies of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people.


Posted by The Englishman at 7:11 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Ken losing support - before he starts.

Telegraph | News | Clarke's leadership bid at risk

In a blow to Mr Clarke, Tony Baldry, formerly one of his strongest backers, publicly endorses Mr Cameron today.
Mr Baldry said: "I do not think Ken now has much resonance with anyone very much under 40.

And not a lot from anyone over forty with the heart and stomach of an an Englishman.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:49 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Flat Tax Cover-up

Telegraph | News | Treasury blocks move to flat rate inflation

The Treasury has suppressed arguments in favour of introducing a flat tax - a radically simplified system charging the same rate on all income - documents passed to The Daily Telegraph show.
The system is being backed by free market reformers worldwide but a Treasury paper released under the Freedom of Information Act last month had key sections detailing the advantages blacked out.

As a result, it was interpreted as showing that the Government had dismissed as "misleading" arguments for abolishing all exemptions and charging the same rate of tax on all personal and corporate income.
The uncensored paper seen by The Daily Telegraph presents a more balanced picture, acknowledging that a flat tax could increase economic activity and tax revenue, making Britain more attractive to foreign investors. It could create a "mini-economic boom" and would "eliminate distortions", the paper says.
Part of a two-page section that was removed says: "The reduction in rates and thus the tax burden faced by individuals should, in theory, stimulate further economic growth" and would establish "a one-off virtuous circle from tax cuts to and would "eliminate distortions", the paper says.

I will leave the arguments in favour of a Flat Tax to those more qualified to comment - though the simple advantages of fairness, simplicity and the success elsewhere seem self-evident.

More interesting is the way that this briefing paper was censored - I can't think of a possible national security risk, nor of any personal details that could be at risk by this disclosure - purely that it might be embarrassing for the Government and the entrenched special interest groups in the Treasury.

And also here is a simple clear policy that the Tories could adopt that would differentiate themselves from nu-Labour, that would align themselves with some of the booming EU countries rather than the stagnant ones. Because if the Tories don't start pushing some policies that we can identify as Tory then what is the point of the Tory party? Answers on a postcard please.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:42 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 18, 2005

PETA update

I have been folowing the great PETA court case through sites such as PETA Kills Animals | PetaKillsAnimals.com. I am sure you have as well - but the figures as astounding - "From July 1998 through the end of 2003, PETA killed over 10,000 dogs, cats, and other "companion animals" -- at its Norfolk, Virginia headquarters. That's more than five defenseless animals every day. Not counting the dogs and cats PETA spayed and neutered, the group put to death over 85 percent of the animals it took in during 2003 alone. And its angel-of-death pattern shows no sign of changing...."

But of course I hadn't realised the reason until I saw this letter:

Regarding the story about PETA euthanizing unwanted animals in North Carolina,
I think most people have no idea how extreme the situation is for unwanted animals in that area. Much of the human population there lacks the essentials, so of course homeless dogs and cats are allotted next to nothing. It seems that PETA's ultimate intention was to try to compensate at the very least for the basics that the county is financially unable to provide — a humane death for those unfortunate dogs and cats that nobody wants.
—Ann Radcliff, Norfolk

Jeez, where do we start sending the food parcels to for those poor folk in North Carolina, and yep the idea of being killed is some sort of compensation for being a poor homeless doggie is understandable to a complete moonbat maybe. What does she suggest we do with the poor people?

Posted by The Englishman at 10:26 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Miles better

BBC NEWS | England | North Yorkshire | Group hails 'miles better' signs

Anti-metric campaigners are celebrating after a council was forced to modify 30 of its public rights of way signs.

City of York Council erected the path markers with distances in kilometres (km) instead of miles (m), which is illegal under highways regulations.

On Thursday, the authority said it had ordered plastic discs to fix over the offending metric distances.

The Active Resistance to Metrication, which takes direct action to change metric signs, welcomed the decision.

"Each time we are successful, it is a small but significant step towards eradicating them from our country.

"The imperial weights and measures of this country are part of our traditions and part of our culture.

"The attempts to impose metric signs is one by stealth and deception and has been going on for many years."

Hurrah - if only we could turn the tide completely. More information from the good guys here. As you might expect the enemy are the usual suspects...

Posted by The Englishman at 9:46 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Another Iovely day

Just to prove not all Bloggers spend all their time indoors this is where I'm blogging from. Very quiet apart from the birds twittering and the distant chatter of machine guns.
Image taken on 18/8/2005 9:42

Posted by The Englishman at 8:49 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

Enriching the (target) Environment

Telegraph | News | 'Rewilding' could mean lions at large in US

Cheetahs, lions and even elephants could roam parts of North America in an extraordinary "rewilding" plan outlined today by ecologists and conservationists.

Now that would make life more interesting, but before the more sporting amongst you go down to Bubbas Donut and Ammo Store to stock up please note the first introduction doesn't sound that challenging a target...

A pilot study will test a mild version of the rewilding plan by considering the release of the endangered Bolson tortoise on a private ranch in New Mexico. The tortoise, which can weigh up to 100lb and once thrived in Arizona and Mexico, now survives only in a small area of northern Mexico.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:10 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

A subtle clue

Telegraph | News | Coin redesign 'rules out joining the euro'

The redesign of coins was announced yesterday, prompting fresh speculation that the Government has ruled out joining the euro for the foreseeable future.

An open competition to find new designs for the reverse of the 1p, 2p, 5p, 10p, 20p and 50p coin is to be held by the Royal Mint.
The designs are to be changed better to "reflect modern Britain, and will need final approval by Gordon Brown, the Chancellor.

Of course in one way this is very good news but this constant need to "reflect Modern Britain" - new, new, new - is just boring and tedious. When we had real money the back of the Penny never changed, why not bring back Britannia back.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:02 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

August 17, 2005

Mais Oui!

France's most celebrated living intellectual - and probably its most constant Anglophile - called on Britain yesterday to leave the European Union.

Maurice Druon, an author, ex-culture minister and grandee of the Académie Française, holder of an honorary knighthood for services to Anglo-French relations, said: "What Britain and Europe want of the EU is quite different. You want an open market, whereas the rest of us want Europe to evolve as a strong power, not just economically but diplomatically and strategically, too."
"Shouldn't we draw the consequences and ask whether it wouldn't be to everyone's advantage, Britain's included, for them to leave the EU's political institutions and take the status of privileged partner?
"You cannot stay indefinitely both in and out. If a friend cannot raise this question, who else will dare to pose it?"

The old man he speaks sense, and finding myself agreeing with a French intellectual is a shock to the system this early in the morning.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:59 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

August 16, 2005

Disturbing evidence

ITV news claims to have uncovered some disturbing evidence about the Met Police Shooting of the Brazilian:

Mistakes led to tube shooting

The documents and photographs confirm that Jean Charles was not carrying any bags, and was wearing a denim jacket, not a bulky winter coat, as had previously been claimed.
He was behaving normally, and did not vault the barriers, even stopping to pick up a free newspaper.
He started running when he saw a tube at the platform. Police had agreed they would shoot a suspect if he ran.
A document describes CCTV footage, which shows Mr de Menezes entered Stockwell station at a "normal walking pace" and descended slowly on an escalator.
The document said: "At some point near the bottom he is seen to run across the concourse and enter the carriage before sitting in an available seat.
"Almost simultaneously armed officers were provided with positive identification."
A member of the surveillance team is quoted in the report. He said: "I heard shouting which included the word `police' and turned to face the male in the denim jacket.
"He immediately stood up and advanced towards me and the CO19 officers. I grabbed the male in the denim jacket by wrapping both my arms around his torso, pinning his arms to his side.
"I then pushed him back on to the seat where he had been previously sitting. I then heard a gun shot very close to my left ear and was dragged away onto the floor of the carriage."

The report also said a post mortem examination showed Mr de Menezes was shot seven times in the head and once in the shoulder, but three other bullets missed, with the casings left lying in the tube carriage.

Like a lot of people I gave Plod the benefit of a the doubt on this mistaken shooting but it feels like we were fed a dubious line about bulky coats, running away etc. I don't like the smell of this one at all.
And I think there will be a lot of trouble making over this. We need to get to the truth as quickly as possible.

Posted by The Englishman at 10:38 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack


Michelle Malkin brings to attention a case where:
"Eenie, meenie, minie, moe;" may have caused offence.

What she (probably) doesn't realise is that this rhyme is an echo of a very long ago past - a preRoman counting system that persisted in England up to a few years ago. My local example is :
Ain, Tain, Tethera, Methera, Mimp,
Ayta, Slayta, Laura, Dora, Dik,
Ain-a-dik, Tain-a-dik, Tethera-dik, Methera-dik, Mit,
Ain-a-mit, Tain-a-mit, Tethera-mit, Gethera-mit, Ghet.
(1 -20 in Wiltshire Sheep Counting System)

So chant in pride - you are following a least twenty centuries of example.

Posted by The Englishman at 12:18 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 15, 2005

'em all, the long and the short and the tall..

For some reason I have been thinking of the "old songs" ( No Mr FM - not those "old songs") so I was pleased to find a definitive source of lyrics..

I don't want to be a soldier,
I don't want to go to war;
I'd rather hang around
Piccadilly underground,
Living on the earnings of a high born lady;
Don't want a bullet up my arsehole,
Don't want my bollocks shot away,
For I'd rather stay in England,
Merry, merry England,
And roger all my bleeding life away,

But the song I was looking for has the chorus:

Fuck 'em all!
Fuck 'em all!
The long and the short and the tall;
Fuck all the Sergeants and W.O.l.'s,
Fuck all the corporals and their bastard sons;
For we're saying goodbye to them all,
As up the C.O.'s arse they crawl;
You'll get no promotion this side of the ocean,
So cheer up my lads, fuck 'em all!

A song with limitless possibilities - I am sure up to date lyrics are just waiting to be written...

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Stubble time
Image taken on 15/8/2005 8:43
Image taken on 15/8/2005 8:42
Image taken on 15/8/2005 8:40

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August 14, 2005

Sign me up - for the Witanagemot Woundup

Little Man in a Toque: The Witanagemot Club

Little Man in a Toque is proud to unveil an exciting new initiative - The Witanagemot Club. Hey! Yes it is exciting.
If you are a blogger, and if you are pissed off with the assymetrical cack-handedness of those crazy imbeciles at Westminster who deny England parity with the other nations of the UK, then this is your big chance: Join The Witanagemot Club today.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:07 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 12, 2005

Last bastion of a scoundrel

A Government that seems to hate Britain and has been systematically destroying the fabric and heritage of this country suddenly now wants to wave the flag.

Wonko brings us news of the latest plans such as :

Britain's first 'Citizenship Day' has been pencilled in for this October, to celebrate the value of community and volunteer work.
(So that is what being British is all about is it!). It is planned that all teenagers are going to be dragged along to salute the flag and repeat platitudes.

The correct Teenager response should be as I have mentioned before:

"And so he worked towards his peroration - which, by the way, he used later with overwhelming success at a meeting of electors - while they sat, flushed and uneasy, in sour disgust. After many many words, he reached for the cloth-wrapped stick and thrust one hand in his bosom. This - this was the concrete symbol of their land - worthy of all honour and reverence! Let no boy look on this flag who did not purpose to worthily add to its imperishable lustre. He shook it before them - a large calico Union Jack, staring in all three colours, and waited for the thunder of applause that should crown his effort.

They looked in silence. They had certainly seen the thing before - down at the coastguard station, or through a telescope, half-mast high when a brig went ashore on Braunton sands; above the roof of the Golf Club, and in Keyte's window, where a certain kind of striped sweetmeat bore it in paper on each box. But the College never displayed it; it was no part of the scheme of their lives; the Head had never alluded to it; their fathers had not declared it unto them. It was a matter shut up, sacred and apart. What, in the name of everything caddish, was he driving at, who waved that horror before their eves? Happy thought! Perhaps he was drunk."
The Flag of their Country - from Stalky & Co. - Rudyard Kipling

Posted by The Englishman at 7:34 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Glorious So-so Twelfth

..heralding a less than Glorious Twelfth. In England, which has about 180 grouse moors, the number of shooting days is down about 80 per cent, according to the Moorland Association, provoking predictions of the worst season in half a century and the loss of about £11.2 million to the upland rural economy, particularly North Yorkshire, the Pennines and Northumberland.

The forecast across Scotland’s 450 grouse moors is more complicated, with some areas in dire straits while others are faring better. There is little doubt that a decade of gradual decline has continued, caused by a combination of disease, from sheep ticks and a gut parasite, warmer winters and wetter springs.

Ian McCall, director of the Game Conservancy Trust in Scotland, said: “It is not universally disappointing. It is not catastrophic and on balance Scotland might be better off than England, which is a rare achievement this year. England usually does better because of the kinder climate and fertile soil. But this year they have fewer grouse because they had too many last year and did not shoot enough, which allowed disease to spread.”
One bright aspect is new research showing that heather moorland managed for shooting is a haven for other wildlife and rare upland birds, such as black grouse, golden plovers, curlew and lapwing.

The Times

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If you are bored this afternoon

May I recommend a gentle little drawing application string spin v.2 .

Posted by The Englishman at 7:12 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Keeping the Peace in Nottinghamshire.

Telegraph | News | Police chief launches 'solidarity' ribbon

A Chief Constable is asking his 4,000 officers to wear green ribbons, the traditional colour of Islam, to show solidarity with Muslims after the London bomb attacks.
Steve Green, of Nottinghamshire police, also wants the public to adopt the ribbon to support Muslims "being held hostage by fear".
The force has seen a 50 per cent rise in racial and religiously motivated crime since July 7 and Mr Green said non-Muslims had asked him how they could show their support. The force has ordered 20,000 ribbons at a cost of £2,000.

Maybe this is the best way for the "resource stretched" Notts Plod to deal with the fact that "Nottingham is reeling from a wave of gun crime and murders fuelled by its thriving drugs trade. Steve Green, the Chief Constable, has said his force is struggling to cope. More than 40 per cent of murders are “straightforward assassinations,” and the number of murders had risen by 30 per cent in 12 months, according to a government report.
Gang culture has shown no signs of abating, with the head of Nottinghamshire CID and his family moving to a secret address after gangsters put out a contract to kill him." (source). Or maybe he would be better advised to get back to some basic policing.

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August 11, 2005

Mine's a double

The Scotsman - Top Stories - Call for a delay to 'lunacy' of relaxed laws on drinking

Judge Harris said the amounts people drank for pure leisure were "quite astonishing" and could not be changed overnight.
"The trouble is, continental-style drinking requires continental-style people, who sit quietly drinking away at café tables, not standing up shouting at each other in crowded bars trying to consume gallons of beer at a time," he said.

Yep Charlie we are the Brothers of Beer, the victors of Waterloo against the lethargic lovers of wine. I'm sure at that lovely little place in Tuscany the locals are so charming, and there is no trouble at all, as you fail to notice them fleecing you and laughing at your fat pink flesh roasting in the sun.
Let me paraphrase - you can't trust the working classes to enjoy themselves sensibly can you. If we weren't here to tell them what to do, who knows what they might get up to.
The logical continuation is to demand that they all have their knackers cut off - "the amount that people shag for pure leisure is "quite astonishing" and could not be changed overnight.
"The trouble is, continental-style love-making requires continental-style people, who make love in a tantric manner fully committed to it being a completely shared and non-exploitive experience, not standing up shagging each other in back alleys trying to light a Lambert and Butler at the same time," he said.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:49 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 10, 2005

Calling "The Mrs"

BBC NEWS | Health

Red heads can stand more pain.
The link between red hair and a greater pain threshold was first established eight years ago.

Posted by The Englishman at 2:34 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

The Inside story

Ashley Mote MEP The Secret Heart of the EU

An excellent brief explanation of how the EU is run - pass it on!

Hat tip to Numberwatch.

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That's the way to do it!

Telegraph | News | Yes, it's the return of the Punch and Judy show

The traditional seaside Punch and Judy show is making a comeback.
Generations of children grew up with the puppet show thought to have been introduced from Italy in the 17th century.

But Punch's violent and misogynistic tendencies did not fit with the politically correct views of councils in the 1980s and the show - once a fixture at holiday resorts - gradually disappeared.
"The do-gooders branded us politically incorrect in this day and age. They said Punch was a wife beater, we demeaned the police service and were cruel to wildlife..."

Update from Thanet Council

A seaside entertainer who used Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden puppets to wrestle with Mr Punch for his sausages has been ordered to remove them from his show or face eviction from his pitch.

In a well-established tradition, Professor Brent de Witt uses topical figures as villains in his Punch and Judy show and expected no objections.

Children loved his act at Viking Bay, in Broadstairs, Kent, but several people complained to Thanet district council, which asked him to drop the characters.

Mr de Witt said that using Saddam and bin Laden was topical and fun "but a few people did not care for it and instead of telling me they went straight to the council".

Can I suggest a more suitable cast of villains for his next show?

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August 9, 2005

Mud! Mud! Glorious mud!

Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So, follow me, follow, down to the hollow,
And there let us wallow in glorious mud.

Image taken on 8/8/2005 19:07

The Hippopotamus Song
Words by Michael Flanders
Music by Donald Swann and Michael Flanders

A bold Hippopotamus was standing one day
On the banks of the cool Shalimar.
He gazed at the bottom as it peacefully lay
By the light of the evening star.
Away on the hilltop sat combing her hair
His fair Hippopotamine maid.
The Hippopotamus was no ignoramus
And sang her this sweet serenade.

Mud! Mud! Glorious mud!
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So, follow me, follow, down to the hollow,
And there let us wallow in glorious mud.

The fair Hippopotamus he aimed to entice,
From here seen on the hilltop above,
As she hadn't got a ma to give her advice,
Came tip-toeing down to her love.

Like thunder the forest re-echoed the sound
Of the song that they sang as they met.
His enamorata adjusted her garter
And lifted her voice in duet.

Mud! Mud! Glorious mud!
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So, follow me, follow, down to the hollow,
And there let us wallow in glorious mud.

Now more Hippopotami began to convene
On the banks of that river so wide.
I wonder now what am I to say of the scene
That ensued by the Shalimar side?

They dived all at once with an ear-splitting splash,
Then rose to the surface again,
A regular army of Hippopotami
All singing this haunting refrain.

Mud! Mud! Glorious mud!
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So, follow me, follow, down to the hollow,
And there let us wallow in glorious mud.

Posted by The Englishman at 10:43 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

Another GM scare over..

Telegraph | News | 'Worst GM pollution incident' vanishes

What was billed by the media as the world's worst incident of pollution by genetically-engineered crops, one that provoked a row among scientists, has vanished, says a study published today.

I think "has vanished" is used in the same sense as "But Sir I did do my homework, I put it on your desk, I don't know where it has vanished.." So do you think that is the last we will hear of it from the Mangoes and Greens?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Calm down Dear - it is only a terror campaign.

BBC NEWS | Politics | Secret terror courts considered

Special courts sitting in secret for pre-trial hearings in terror cases are being considered by the Home Office. ...

Sources told the BBC one possibility was a model similar to the Special Immigrations Appeals Tribunal, which sits in secret and keeps the details of charges from those accused of them.

In those cases defendants are represented by special advocates, who have access to the evidence but do not brief their 'clients' on the details.

A similar system used to detain foreign terrorist suspects without trial was ruled unlawful by the law lords last year.

Ministers made little secret then of their anger at its defeat in the courts and now believe the London bombings may have changed the legal climate, our correspondent says.

Tory spokesman Edward Garnier urged the government to "calm down and think these things through" and to consult other parties on the detailed proposals.

Yep - every half-baked authoritarian pipe-dream is being aired. It used to "It is for the Kiddies" ™ - now "It's the London Bombings" ™ - How dare you be against these very important and far reaching proposals that we have carefully planned on the back of this menu!

Posted by The Englishman at 6:53 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 8, 2005

Local Heroine

BBC NEWS | England | Wiltshire | Made up over speed camera u-turn

When Clair Allison received a court summons for speeding, she was determined not to take it lying down.

The 46-year-old single mother-of-one started a campaign that ended in the overturning of thousands of fines - together with some red faces among speed camera bosses. ...

Armed with the throwaway camera, Ms Allison began taking shots of the roadworks.

Realising that hundreds of other drivers may also have been zapped, she placed petitions in garages and post offices to find fellow defendants.

More than 4,200 people were fined after being caught between October 2003 and August 2004, according to the Wiltshire & Swindon Speed Camera Partnership.

But Ms Allison's solicitor says this figure could be as high as 6,200.

Following a CPS review, they will all now have their fines overturned and their penalty points removed

The case may also have left the safety partnership having to refund at least £250,000 in fines.

The police have said that each case could cost up to £250 to review - and there are court costs and compensation claims to consider.

The camera partnership is, however, sticking to its guns.

Spokeswoman Saira Khan said: "The speeding offences are proven - it is the signage that isn't."

But she admits the organisation needs to enforce speed restrictions properly to keep the public on side, and is working with the Highways Agency on checking regulations.

Sorry - you lost keeping the public "on your side" a long time ago - and saying the "offences are proven" when they clearly aren't - if you don't follow the law it isn't an offence - shows the gob-smacking arrogance of this "partnership".

Posted by The Englishman at 11:45 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

August 7, 2005

View From The Castle Tonight

Image taken on 7/8/2005 18:30

Posted by The Englishman at 6:33 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Please be upstanding.

Deogolwulf wishs to coin a new word:
overstand, vt. To subordinate sense and reason to faith; not to understand the world, but rather to interpret the world through faith in something higher, greater, ‘more real-worldly’ than the world; to interpret according to faith and not evidence; to believe that something is the case irrespective of evidence; to make facts subordinate to an inscrutable purpose and an ineffable standard.
Science is an attempt to understand the world; religion, an attempt to overstand it.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:10 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack


by two runs, the pubs just opening, a sunny afternnon...it doesn't get much better.

Posted by The Englishman at 12:35 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 6, 2005

Private Joke

The Flying Arsehole

Posted by The Englishman at 12:49 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 5, 2005

I love the smell of literature in the morning

2005 Results

Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
2005 Results

As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.
Dan McKay
Fargo, ND
A 43-year-old quantitative analyst for Microsoft Great Plains is the winner of the 23rd running of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.
An international literary parody contest, the competition honors the memory (if not the reputation) of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873). The goal of the contest is childishly simple: entrants are challenged to submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels. Although best known for "The Last Days of Pompeii" (1834), which has been made into a movie three times, originating the expression "the pen is mightier than the sword," and phrases like "the great unwashed" and "the almighty dollar," Bulwer-Lytton opened his novel Paul Clifford (1830) with the immortal words that the "Peanuts" Beagle Snoopy plagiarized for years, "It was a dark and stormy night."

- the rest are nearly as good!

Posted by The Englishman at 9:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Gorgeous George at it again

Telegraph | News | Galloway pours petrol on the flames

In his most inflammatory outburst yet on the invasion of Iraq, George Galloway has sought to justify lethal attacks on British troops on the grounds that the rebels "are defending all the people of the world from American hegemony". Put down anything breakable before you read the rest.

George became a superhero to the Media because he is seen as a lovable old rogue, bit of a rebel, bit like lovely Ken, gave Tony a bit of a lesson with out being a Tory and gave those dull old American politicians what-for on television. So this will be just tutted at the way you tut a naughty nephew who breaks a vase. It's just George, isn't it? Only old fuddy-duddies will take offence - won't they?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:14 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 4, 2005

The results are in..

Misty asked:
Which of the following conjures up the most disturbing mental imagery for you.
Peter Stringfellow in a thong.
John Prescott in a bikini.
The Queen and Prince Philip testing a Rampant Rabbit.
A fluffy kitten chasing a butterfly.
Tony Bliar dressed as a gimp.
Margaret Thatcher sitting on your face.
George Bush in thigh high boots with a whip.
Saddam Hussein giving you a lapdance.
Stephen Pound frolicking naked.

I won't give the reults away but I believe a bunch of pretentious tossers in a popular beat combo walked away with it - got my vote anyway...

Posted by The Englishman at 5:23 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Bloody Foreigners

Coming over here imposing their culture, destroying our way of life! And leaving litter in the English countryside.

Another picture from my morning walk, Roman pottery and roof tile.
I ask you, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Image taken on 4/8/2005 9:3

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007 shaken

Friends of the Amarone report:

James Bond, the world's most famous secret agent, is to abandon the sleek, fast sports cars of the past for a plucky Fiat Panda with a top speed of just 90 mph.

The Turin automaker has confirmed the startling news that in his next film, Casino Royale, the legendary seducer and undercover agent will be driving one of its budget utility vehicles.

I seem to remember he drove a 2CV once,so I hope this isn't him going all green and eco-friendly - I can see him now unloading the lead shot when he approaches the villain near the water and trying to load a satisfactory alternative so as to satisfy the Environmental Protection (Restriction on Use of Lead Shot)(England) Regulations 1999...

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Muckspreading Blogging

Others are accused of it, here at The Castle we actually do it.
Image taken on 2/8/2005 19:57

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August 3, 2005

Gramscian policies

One of my more learned commentators has been using the phrase "Gramscian" about many aspects of modern culture: I thought it worth while to learn a bit more and pass it on - Antonio Gramsci - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Capitalism, Gramsci suggested, maintained control not just through violence and political and economic coercion, but also ideologically, through a hegemonic culture in which the values of the bourgeoisie became the "common sense" values of all. Thus a consensus culture developed in which people in the working class identified their own good with the good of the bourgeoisie, and helped to maintain the status quo rather than revolting. The working class needed to develop a "counter-hegemonic" culture, said Gramsci, firstly to overthrow the notion that bourgeois values represented "natural" or "normal" values for society, and ultimately to succeed in overthrowing capitalism. Gramsci stated explicitly that, in the West, these bourgeois cultural values derived directly from Christianity, and therefore much of his polemic against hegemonic culture is aimed at religious mores and values.

So the route to the socialist utopia demands that you first destroy the culture of a country by attacking all "normal" mores and traditions - sound familiar?

Posted by The Englishman at 11:47 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

Race killings

UK Commentators - Laban Tall's Blog

Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Updated Google News Counts
Richard Whelan - 37 stories.

Anthony Walker - 518 stories.

Scores on the doors this morning are still 37 and 668...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:06 AM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

Tory contender speaks

BBC NEWS | Politics | Davis attacks UK multiculturalism
Shadow Home Secretary David Davis is calling on the government to scrap its "outdated" policy of multiculturalism.
Allowing people of different cultures to settle without integrating let the "perverted values of suicide bombers" take root, he told the Daily Telegraph.

Mr Davis, favourite to become the next Tory leader, urged the government to "build a single nation" and demand "respect for the British way of life".

"We must speak openly of what we expect of those who settle here," he said.

Or as the first draft of his speech said in its entirety; "Fit in or Fuck off".

Posted by The Englishman at 6:57 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Beyond the Pale

Telegraph | News | Barmaids protest as EU plans cover-up in the beer gardens

Bavarian barmaids typically dress in a costume known as a "dirndl", a dress and apron with a tight, low-cut top whose figure-hugging effect is enhanced by a short white blouse.
Under the EU's Optical Radiation Directive, employers of staff who work outdoors, including those in Bavaria's beer gardens, must ensure they cover up against the risk of sunburn.
Bavarian bar keepers have been told that the dirndl, generally rather revealing, will have to be replaced as it offers no protection against what the directive calls "natural sources of radiation", meaning sunlight.

Oh! There are some things that the EU does that really are going too far, the Germans won't like this, and remember last time what happened when a bunch of unhappy Germans (and an Austrian) had to meet in a Beer Kellar to keep out of the sun.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:50 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 2, 2005

Be extra nice to Muslims in case you upset them - official advice.

We're the The Sweeney, son, and we haven't had any dinner - you've kept us waiting. So unless you want a kicking,...
No longer:
Now it is (Source:)
POLICE have been told to take their shoes off and not use sniffer dogs when raiding Muslim homes.

An 18-point guide issued by Bedfordshire Police lists dos and don'ts when dealing with Muslims who are suspected of terrorist or drugs offences.

The guidelines state that 'the Muslim community feels victimised and suspicious of counter terrorist police operations and in the current climate a search at a British Muslim household has the potential to become a critical incident and come under intense scrutiny'.

It then lists 18 points police officers should note.

These include:

• Rapid entry needs to be the last resort and raids into Muslim houses are discouraged for a number of religious dignity reasons.

• Police should seek to avoid looking at unclad Muslim women and allow them an opportunity to dress and cover their heads.

• For reasons of dignity officers should seek to avoid entering occupied bedrooms and bathrooms even before dawn.

• Use of police dogs will be considered serious desecration of the premises and may necessitate extensive cleaning of the house and disposal of household items.

• Advice should be sought before considering the use of cameras and camcorders due to the risk of capturing individuals, especially women, in inappropriate dress.

• Muslim prisoners should be allowed to take additional clothing to the station.

• If people are praying at home officers should stand aside and not disrupt the prayer. They should be allowed the opportunity to finish.

• Officers should not take shoes into the houses, especially in areas that might be kept pure for prayer purposes.

• In the current climate the justification for pre-dawn raids on Muslim houses needs to be clear and transparent.

• Non-Muslims are not allowed to touch holy books, Qurans or religious artefacts without permission. Where possible, Muslim officers in a state of 'Wudhu' (preparation before prayer) should be used for this purpose.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:33 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

EU Arrest Warrant farce

The Italians seem to be believing that Hussain Osman the suspected Shepherd's Bush July 21 bomber is just a very naughty boy: Telegraph | News | Terror suspects very probably amateurs, say Italian police

Investigations "lead us to believe as very probable that he belongs to a spontaneous group rather than a structured organisation that had broader terrorist projects", he said.

he will be extradited to Britain "soon", though the formalities, even under a new fast track European Arrest Warrant, could take up to 90 days, as Osman is likely to contest the request.

Just happened to take part in an organised co-ordinated bombing, could happen to anyone I suppose. Of course when Tony rushed through the EU Arrest Warrant it was a vital aid in the fight against terrorism:

BBC News | UK POLITICS | Battle looms over EU arrest warrant

"It is manifestly in this country's interest to have a procedure that is a fast-track procedure for extraditing people to this country from European countries... what this will do is simplify the procedure enormously."

The pact obliges any EU country to hand over suspects of serious crimes to any other member state without lengthy and complex extradition procedures.

So we tore up our liberties and for what?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:20 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Surrender to Terrorists

Telegraph | News | Royal Irish battalions axed 'in surrender to the IRA'
The demilitarisation measures were announced by Peter Hain, the Northern Ireland Secretary, before any moves by the IRA to decommission weapons following its promise to dump arms last week.

The scale and swiftness of the development were condemned by Conservatives and Unionists, who claimed republicans had won yet more concessions before there was evidence that the IRA would keep its word.

The disbandment of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th battalions of the Royal Irish Regiment was accompanied by a pledge to dismantle more Army watchtowers and the removal of the fortifications surrounding 24 police stations.

A few words from the Government's favourite terrorists and Peter Hain is falling over himself to dismantle the security forces. The IRA hasn't handed over as much as a water pistol yet, they haven't agreed to recognise the rule of Law and Order and in fact pledge to continue the struggle for a united Ireland (presumably under their Marxist rule), and of course their criminal enterprises and extortions continue. And does that slime-ball Hain take the opportunity to pay tribute to the unbelievably brave men of the Irish Regiments as he consigns them to the scrap heap - not a chance.

But then he showed his foresight when he was Europe Minister - Mr Hain said: “I am not saying that the euro is inevitable, but the alternative to its adoption is an isolation which is anything but splendid.

“The enemies of the euro are also the enemies of Europe. What they want is purely and simply the withdrawal of the United Kingdom from the European Union and an association with the American bloc"
February 20, 2002

Posted by The Englishman at 7:05 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 1, 2005

Pretty in Pink

Ireland Refuses to Extradite Alleged Pedophile to Arizona -- 07/29/2005

One of America's toughest cops is lashing out at the judicial system in Ireland after that country refused to extradite an accused pedophile priest.

Father Patrick Colleary is accused of molesting an altar boy while he was a priest in Scottsdale, Ariz., in 1978. Colleary fled to his native Ireland before he could be indicted on two counts of felony sexual conduct with a minor.

Colleary's lawyers argued that their client should not be extradited because Maricopa County, Ariz., Sheriff Joe Arpaio housed prisoners in conditions more typical of a gulag than a jail.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio believes in keeping prisoners in pink clothes living in tents and making them work in chain gangs to earn their meagre meals. How unEuropean! how much more civilised Ireland is keeping its kiddy-fiddlers happy in the heart of the community, no wonder they won't let the nasty man get his hands on the alleged dodgy priest.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:56 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack


ANSA.it - News in English - Beer beats wine in fighting cancer

Beer would appear to be even better than red wine and green tea in preventing cancer, researchers have discovered.

I only go down the pub for the good of my health - I have always said so; though that pint of JCB I had yesterday is still disagreeing with me...

Thanks to the glamourous girls at http://friendsofamarone.blogspot.com/ for the link - go and say hi to them!

Posted by The Englishman at 1:21 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack