February 8, 2009
Schooling in the State's Image
Snow Britain: The health and safety rules that closed our schools in bad weather - Telegraph
Diktats issued to head teachers specify in precise detail the width of paths that must be cleared and the amount of grit to be laid. They are even asked to consider the weight of the shovel provided to caretakers in order to prevent overexertion....
Chris Hassall, the head teacher of Taylor Road primary school in Leicester, which remained open while other schools in the city were shut all week, said: “Heads are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.
"The local authority is warning you might get sued and parents are risk averse. Heads are thinking 'What’s in it for me if I break ranks and open? Absolutely nothing.’”
Meanwhile private schools which depend on parents paying stayed open.
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September 25, 2007
Olympics need money
Prague has entered the race to hold the 2016 Olympics - I note from their webpage they are following the same advice our budgeters did - in fact I think this may be verbatim what Seb Coe said....
Olympics need money…. | Olympic Prague
Costs of Olympic Games be about most disscusted questions during negotiations ( virtually only discussed questions).
Study PWC he will have it, do you economically profitable sideline. With deeply questions however creep argue namely at the first in level argumentation. Process setting and during take into account possibility compiler those information study it is impossible impeachment data, which study PWC offers. Purposes those parts be merely refer to no-which „ inadequacies” during argumentation, no assert, do you study doesn’t speak truth. Is however diaeresis go out of what do you data PWC are theoretic calculate, estimates, hypothesis. To the 1st predictable Olympic data station (year 2016) pass however much years, during which man state much dont predectable. How much us will in the end Olympic Games state is in stars.
Study felt with generation gain, slop load and decree have be 3:4, rise tax decree, GDP. Study nevertheless nezminuje about deficit verejnych revenue office, that is of most already today.
Study present lump nekvantifikovatelnych prinosu for Prague. We have to but query, whether nappa. deep departure young families to the satellite towns is positive, and whether really build-up stadiums man hamper. Or nappa. what is the meaning of „ clear leader position among mesa in middleeuropean region”?
Study felt with half share private sector on financing Olympic Games. Will but have investor focus? Olympic Games reputedly namely isn’t so much revenue office interesting
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April 27, 2007
"Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look, He thinks too much; such men are dangerous."
Junkfood Science: Helping, not harming, seniors
A second study released this week tried everything possible to find something to support “obesity as an increasing public health problem.” While headlines ambiguously mentioned obesity may be associated with disability in the elderly, the association this study found was not what most people may have jumped to conclude. Being fat was not associated with increased risk for disability and was associated with the lowest mortality....
Weights most free from disability ranged from “recommended” to “obese.” There were higher risks associated at the extremes of weight (a wide “J” curve), but only at the most extreme “morbidly obese,” a mere 0.5% of the cohort, did the risks for disability become significant.
But being overweight and obese proved to be associated with the lowest risks for mortality and best odds for life expectancy. Even the most “morbidly obese” people still had a lower risk for mortality than underweight people — five time lower, in fact.
“Recommended weights” were associated with higher risks for mortality than being either overweight or obese. Even those at the higher end of obesity with BMIs 35-40 shared the same mortality risks and life expectancies as those at “recommended” BMIs, leaving further questions as to the rationale for current “recommended weights” for older citizens.
The most carefully-done research has consistently shown the dangers of weight loss, especially among the elderly.What is most incredible is that, despite being unable to demonstrate a concern for “obesity-associated” risks for disability for 99.5% of elderly and finding that being fat is associated with longer life and the lowest risks for mortality, these researchers still advocated for weight intervention and ideal BMI recommendations
But Nanny believes it better for us to conform to her guidelines and "look" healthy even if we are dead rather than be jolly, plump and alive.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:46 AM
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March 24, 2007
When the going gets tough
Macho medicine-Life & Style-Women-Body & Soul-TimesOnline
Take that, metro boy! American psychiatrists have kicked sand in the faces of new men with a study report that claims that tough guys recover more quickly from serious illness and injuries.Modern wisdom may say that metrosexual males have better health chances because they are self-aware, emotionally literate and smarter about their bodies. But the study says that, if it comes to the crunch, the John Wayne types win.
Glenn Good, of Missouri University, asked 50 men who had suffered serious brain or spinal injuries to fill in questionnaires about their strength, sexual prowess, independence and career achievement (including answering yes/no to the rather ambiguous statement: “Affection with other men makes me tense.” Hmm.)
What does he mean ambiguous? Anything other than a firm handshake and an insult from another male makes my sphincter clench tighter than Gordon Brown's grip on his wallet. If I want touchy feely affection I'll go back to being a hooker - in a scrum, only you understand.....
powered by performancing firefox
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October 26, 2006
Can't get the staff these days.
In a tearful interview in the saloon bar of "The Wrinkled Retainer" Sir Jocylen Singer-Pterude-Song, known as "Mad Jo" after the incident with the kudu dung, the whip and the rioters, defended his actions in buying a "picaninny" at the market when on safari.
"The poor little bugger looked quite lost and abandoned as his mother went into Mr Ali's shop to buy a length of cloth", Mad Jo explained. "And it struck me here was my chance to give myself a better sort of life."
"The old family pile has never been the same since Uncle Ernst shot the last of the liveried servants for passing the port the wrong way and quite frankly how do you expect to run a decent shoot without enough chappies to set up the picnic tables and travelling silver service in the far covert. And the locals are bloody useless, threaten to burn their cottages down and they are still bloody lippy."
So I scooped little "Sam" up, popped down to the District Commissioner's Office, bunged a bit of Wonga down and hey presto he was mine.
Damn smart he will look too, in fact if it wasn't for the bloody press people causing a rumpus and frightening the pheasants I would be sending out for a another one to make up a matching pair. Still don't let my troubles put anyone off, everyone has room for a few so do your bit to restore proper standards and get a couple yourself. I understand that me neighbours down the road in old Beaton's place have done the same. Went shooting there last year, damn fine hocks on the American girl, didn't catch her name, but the mouth on her! Needed a lesson or two on how we behave over here, I would have bent her over my knee and given her a sound smacking...
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September 30, 2006
Family Planning Advice
Posted by The Englishman at 1:26 PM
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August 6, 2006
Another Graph from the Heretic
We all know how evolution works - selection pressure on a population that has heritable variation. We also know how modern knowledge of training, nutrition, drugs and so on has allowed athletes to run faster. You may also be aware of the vast amounts of money that is at stake on the Derby. Put it all together and here you have an example of intense selection pressure combined with unlimited resources with one aim - to make a horse that runs faster. You only have to look at the Stud Fees associated with the breeding of winners to see how owners believe in heritability of "fitness". So before you go below the fold imagine what the graph of the winning times will look like.
Yes flat-lined - no improvement for years. The creationists crow it shows that evolution doesn't work, geneticist mutter about limited gene pool and I'm just perplexed.
Sources: Kentucky Derby 132 | 2006 | Derby History | Derby Statistics | 1896 -- Derby shortened from 1 1/2 to l 1/4 miles so times not included.
The Kentucky Derby Limit (As they had done the grunt work of converting the times into seconds).
Epsom Derby - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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June 18, 2006
Climate change and a greenhouse gas
During my weekly bath I was contemplating, as one does, the role of dimethyl sulphide emissions - naturally produced by marine algae. This gets released into the atmosphere where it forms sulphate particles which seed clouds, making it cloudier and hence cooler. So what about the reductions of in the amount of sulphur we have been pumping into the atmosphere? Here is a quick cobbled together graph of recent "global warming" from 1945 to 1995 ( the coloured line) compared to an INVERSE of the amount of sulphur, or even sulfur, the USA has been emitting. You will note the reduction of sulphur emissions towards in the 80s and 90s. Pretty good fit eh?
I also include a graph of atmospheric CO2 concentrations to compare as well. Now I don't claim any rigour in this analysis, it is simply something worth remembering when CO2 is fingered as the only culprit, there are many other suspects out there and we simply don't know how they work together...
Sources:Sulfur and Nitrogen Emission Trends for the U.S.- Sulfur Production and Emissions
Jean-Marc Jancovici
Image:Instrumental Temperature Record.png - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Posted by The Englishman at 9:59 PM
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May 23, 2006
German Jokes part 83
>Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Lost in translation is a long article explaining why German humour is so... german. And it ends with:
Some Germans tell us their jokes ...
Andrea Foss, 46, Schleswig Holstein
"What is romantic?" "I don't know." "When a man strokes a woman tenderly with a feather."
"What is perverse?" "I don't know." "When the chicken is still attached."
Tabea Rudolph, 26, Stuttgart
There are problems in the woods. The animals of the forest are always drunk, so the fox decides to ban alcohol. The following day, the fox spies a rabbit hanging out of a tree, clearly wasted. The fox ticks him off, and carries on his way. But the next day he sees the rabbit drunk again, and gives him a final warning. The next day, the fox does his rounds and there's no sign of the rabbit, but he notices a straw sticking out of a stream. Wondering what it is, the fox scoops it out, only to find a very drunk rabbit on the other end of it. "How many times do I have to tell you that animals of the forest aren't allowed alcohol?" says the Fox. "We fishes don't give a toss what the animals of the forest aren't allowed to do," says the rabbit
Gerhard Bischof, Bad Toelz, 57
A man jumps out of a plane for the first time. At 3,000m he tries to undo his parachute, but the cord fails. At 2,000m he tries to open the emergency chute but that doesn't work either. At 1,000m he bumps into a man wearing blue overalls, carrying a spanner. "Can you repair parachutes?" asks the first man. "'Fraid not," says the other. "I only do boilers."
Wolfgang Voges, 56, from lower Saxon
Three priests hold a meeting to discuss where life begins. The evangelical priest says, "No question about it, life begins when the child is born." "No, no," says the Catholic priest, "it all starts when the sperm meets the egg." "You're both wrong," says the Rabbi. "Life begins when the children have left home and the dog is dead."
OR you could try German Jokes or for a range - here
Posted by The Englishman at 7:26 PM
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December 13, 2005
That's the spirit, and beer, wine...
Last January I was rude About Students today, I'm glad to see they are improving,....
attempting escape Party report for The Englishman
People sick: Five (5)
Number of pint glasses to contain said sick: Three (3)
Floor area covered in vomit: 2 square yards
People carried home: Two (2)
Distance walked by me carrying drunks home: Four hundred metres (400m)
Plates broken: Two (2)
Washing up (cocktail) bowls split down the side: One (1)
People locked in the Loo, unable to unbolt the door: One (1)
People climbing out one window, and then into the loo to unlock said door: One (1)
Loo cisterns half hanging off wall: One (1)
Time the party finished: Five AM (05:00hrs)
Time I woke up the next day: Three PM (15:00hrs)
Posted by The Englishman at 7:40 PM
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July 1, 2005
Numberwatch watch
Number of the month - eight
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Kids Today
Telegraph | News | Adolescents should walk on sunny side of the street to avoid rickets
Walking on the sunny side of the street is being recommended for teenagers because they spend so little time outside that they risk developing rickets.
Adolescents who spend most of their time inside, in the shade or in cars, have so little exposure to sunshine that they risk becoming deficient in vitamin D, which is important for bone health.
But concerns about "stranger danger" mean that modern children spend many more hours indoors than their parents.
I have a theory that there is an optimum number of broken arms in children - too many and the place is stupidly dangerous, too few and kids are being mollycoddled too much. Apart from a Fairgroung Chav I haven't seen a kid with his arm in a sling for a long time..
Aye - Kids today - wanders off humming Hovis Tune....
I'll never forget that first day at t'pit.
Me an' mi father worked a 72 hour shift, then wi walked home 43 mile through t'snow in us bare feet, huddled inside us clothes med out o' old sacks.
Eventually we trudged over t'hill until wi could see t'street light twinklin' in our village.
Mi father smiled down at mi through t'icicles hangin' off his nose. "Nearly home now lad", he said.
We stumbled into t'house and stood there freezin' cold and tired out, shiverin' and miserable, in front o' t' meagre fire.
Any road, mi mam says "Cheer up, lads. I've got you some nice brown bread and butter for yer tea."
Ee, mi father went crackers. He reached out and gently pulled mi mam towards 'im by t'throat. "You big fat, idle ugly wart", he said. "You gret useless spawny-eyed parrot-faced wazzock." ('E had a way wi words, mi father. He'd bin to college, y'know). "You've been out playin' bingo all afternoon instead o' gettin' some proper snap ready for me an' this lad", he explained to mi poor, little, purple-faced mam.
Then turnin' to me he said "Arthur", (He could never remember mi name), "here's half a crown. Nip down to t'chip 'oyl an' get us a nice piece o' 'addock for us tea. Man cannot live by bread alone."
He were a reyt tater, mi father.
He said as 'ow workin' folk should have some dignity an' pride an' self respect, an' as 'ow they should come home to summat warm an' cheerful.
An' then he threw mi mam on t'fire.
We didn't 'ave no tellies or shoes or bedclothes.
We med us own fun in them days.
Do you know, when I were a lad you could get a tram down into t'town, buy three new suits an' an ovvercoat, four pair o' good boots, go an' see George Formby at t'Palace Theatre, get blind drunk, 'ave some steak an' chips, bunch o' bananas an' three stone o' monkey nuts an' still 'ave change out of a farthing.
We'd lots o' things in them days they 'aven't got today - rickets, diptheria, Hitler and my, we did look well goin' to school wi' no backside in us trousers an' all us little 'eads painted purple because we 'ad ringworm.
They don't know they're born today!!!
Tony Capstick "Capstick comes Home"
"Me and me fafer"
Posted by The Englishman at 6:38 AM
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June 27, 2005
And did those feet?
How long for Englands green and pleasant land?
We British are obsessed by landscape, yet our own actions and climate change could alter it for ever, says Bryan Appleyard....in a time of environmental change and decay, one name should head all lists of our contemporary landscape artists. He is not seen as an artist at all, but as a scientist. James Lovelock made his name through the Gaia hypothesis, which suggested that the earth could be viewed as a single organism, a concept that, after 40 years, is generally accepted. Indeed, it is the foundation of all earth science.
Bollocks, but then Appleyard is just another empty headed metropolitan Arts critic who doesn't know better. He is correct in one way though, "Earth Science" is now a catch all term for touchy feely environmental courses in some universities which produce bearded sandal wearers who become "experts" and Luddites in the name of three toed liver-worts at the first sign of progress. But that's not real "Earth Science" - back in my day at college when we studied cutting down rain-forests and how to do it to maximise yield, organo-chlorines and when it was good to use them; in fact as I was saying to old whatshis name at the Ball the other night.......
Posted by The Englishman at 7:10 AM
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June 21, 2005
Cigarretten Vertrauensmnner
Telegraph | News | Cigarette snoopers to enforce ban
New powers effectively criminalising smoking in public were announced by the Government yesterday, with the minister in charge promising an "intelligence-led approach to enforcing the law".
Informers will be encouraged to report breaches of sweeping bans on the habit, in which company smoking rooms will be outlawed and places such as bus shelters and the outsides of office blocks made no-smoking areas.
Which would you prefer; A country of self rightous grasses whispering to Authority or, also from The Telegraph;
Posted by The Englishman at 6:30 AM
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June 17, 2005
Nannies Tea Time
Telegraph | News | WI in a pickle over safety
To the many satisfied customers who buy Ann Doy's prized homemade piccalilli it does not matter where the ingredients have come from. It is the taste that counts.
But Government officials, acting on European regulations, are determined that she, and thousands like her, must now account for every ingredient, insisting on them keeping receipts for a year for each item purchased.
"If I use something from my own garden I have to write a receipt out to myself." All the produce has the ingredients clearly listed".
The legislation affects all homemade produce and even cricket teas will be held to account.
A spokesman for the Food Standards Agency said the legislation only applies to outlets selling on a regular basis. He said: "We would envisage local authorities [will] take a proportionate and flexible approach."
Ah - there's the rub - you intoduce legislation and claim it is reasonable because you expect the local Council Officers to ignore it - but give a bully a new stick and what are they going to do?
Posted by The Englishman at 6:52 AM
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June 13, 2005
Good advice!
Posted by The Englishman at 11:52 PM
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June 10, 2005
"All safe" sounded, but will anyone hear it?
Telegraph | News | Childhood cancer risk higher near atomic sites
Scientists found no increase in childhood cancers near nuclear power stations, but did find higher than average rates close to certain atomic research facilities, weapons assembly plants and waste reprocessing centres.
But they say the clusters are unlikely to have been caused by radiation from the plants.
Anti-nuclear campaigners, such as the environmental consultancy Green Audit, claim the study's methodology was flawed and that its findings are a "whitewash" .
The Times' fuller report is below.
Britain, UK news from The Times and The Sunday Times - Times Online
.....
For the four sites where links were found it concludes that risks were modestly increased.
At Sellafield, for example, the risks of leukaemia and NHL were 14 per cent higher than average and the risks of solid tumours 11 per cent higher. The biggest risk was found at Dounreay, where the odds of contracting leukaemia or NHL were more than doubled, but this was based on small numbers — 9 cancers when 3.9 would have been expected.
Professor Bridges said that this “blip” could have been due to population mixing, which exposes children moving to an area of infectious agents that they are unused to, which has been shown to increase leukaemia risks. In this case, the population mixing was the result of people moving to Thurso, near Dounreay, to work in the oil industry.
As for Aldermaston, Burghfield and Harwell, he said, Berkshire and Oxfordshire had been shown to have higher cancer rates than other areas for reasons that are unexplained but which cannot be due to radiation because the cancers are found far from nuclear plants.
Rosyth is the only new site identified by the study. The evidence shows a small excess of leukaemias and NHL: 218 where 211 would have been expected and 392 solid tumours where 343 would have been expected. B
Posted by The Englishman at 6:47 AM
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June 8, 2005
Local Green Plan
There is a new Greenie meme about - how many earths do we need to sustain the present level of consumption? - what "earthshare" are you taking up? etc.
Of course something like this is right up the local Regional Assembly's street - so they have created a whole website about it:
And guess who writes the forward?
The Hon Sir Jonathon Espie Porritt, Bt
Jonathon Porritt was appointed by the Prime Minister as Chairman of the UK Sustainable Development Commission in July 2000. This is the Government's principal source of independent advice across the whole sustainable development agenda. He is also President of Sustainability South West , a member of the Board of the South West Regional Development Agency and a leading writer, broadcaster and commentator on sustainable development.
If old Espie is considered "independent" meaning "impartial" then I'm a Dutchman shouting "Ja" - no point reading further, when a chilled Stellenbosch is calling from the drawing room.
Posted by The Englishman at 10:06 PM
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May 27, 2005
I'm Off Out into the Midday Sun
Lunchtime and England is gloriously sunny with record breaking temperatures - so I'm happily off out with this latest news fresh in:
BBC NEWS | Health | Debate over safety of midday sun
Scientists believe going out in the midday sun without sunscreen for 10-15 minutes is good for you, contrary to current advise.
And dear, dear Noel's words on my lips:
In tropical climes there are certain times of day
When all the citizens retire to tear their clothes off and perspire.
It's one of the rules that the greatest fools obey,
Because the sun is much too sultry
And one must avoid its ultry-violet ray.
The natives grieve when the white men leave their huts,
Because they're obviously, definitely nuts!
Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun,
The Japanese dont care to, the Chinese wouldnt dare to,
Hindus and Argentines sleep firmly from twelve to one
But Englishmen detest-a siesta.
In the Philippines they have lovely screens to protect you from the glare.
In the Malay States, there are hats like plates which the Britishers won't wear.
At twelve noon the natives swoon and no further work is done,
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.
It's such a surprise for the Eastern eyes to see,
that though the English are effete, they're quite impervious to heat,
When the white man rides every native hides in glee,
Because the simple creatures hope he will impale his solar topee on a tree.
It seems such a shame when the English claim the earth,
They give rise to such hilarity and mirth.
Ha ha ha ha hoo hoo hoo hoo hee hee hee hee ......
Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.
The toughest Burmese bandit can never understand it.
In Rangoon the heat of noon is just what the natives shun,
They put their Scotch or Rye down, and lie down.
In a jungle town where the sun beats down to the rage of man and beast
The English garb of the English sahib merely gets a bit more creased.
In Bangkok at twelve o'clock they foam at the mouth and run,
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.
Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.
The smallest Malay rabbit deplores this foolish habit.
In Hong Kong they strike a gong and fire off a noonday gun,
To reprimand each inmate who's in late.
In the mangrove swamps where the python romps
there is peace from twelve till two.
Even caribous lie around and snooze, for there's nothing else to do.
In Bengal to move at all is seldom ever done,
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.
Posted by The Englishman at 12:21 PM
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All are equal, but..
Fifty-nine police cars were caught speeding on one county's roads last year - but not a single driver was prosecuted.
None of the marked cars captured by speed cameras in Derbyshire was known to have been using blue emergency lights.
But in every case senior officers decided that the journey they were making justified breaking the speed limit.
Princess Toni having decided the problems we face in society are caused by a loss of "respect innit", perhaps he might care to look at this sort of behaviour... no, no chance it is one law for them and one for us.. how soon before we have Zil lanes through town for him and his cronies?
Posted by The Englishman at 7:26 AM
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Yes Nanny
BBC NEWS | Health | Doctors' kitchen knives ban call
Doctors are calling for a ban on long pointed kitchen knives to reduce deaths from stabbing.
I suppose we soon will only be allowed to eat with plastic cutlery, or why not just make us live on Soup and Weetabix. It might be alright for the Tofu eaters but I need knives that cut meat!
Posted by The Englishman at 7:11 AM
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May 24, 2005
A light touch
BBC NEWS | Politics | Brown pledges law to cut red tape
Mr Brown said inspectors would in future target "bad traders", rather than continuing a system where "everyone was inspected continuously".
"Under a risk-based approach, there is no unjustifiable inspection, form-filling or requirement for information," he told the FT.
"The better view is that business wants to act responsibly. Reputation with customers and investors is more important to behaviour than regulation," he said.
Well that sound like an excellent step in the right direction - I suppose I ought to curb my cynicism and hope it at least partially happens. But having just filled in the longest, most complicated business form ever for the farm, which heralded the new simplified "light touch" SFP regime my doubts remain.
Posted by The Englishman at 7:12 AM
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Mickey Mouse outrages Greenpeace
Telegraph | News | Disney's shark fin soup infuriates Green groups
Disneyland was attacked by enviornmental groups yesterday after it began advertising that it would serve shark's fin soup, a traditional Chinese delicacy, at its new theme park in Hong Kong.
In a clash between the host territory's traditional culture and western sensitivities, Disney was asked how it could square the love of nature promoted by films such as Finding Nemo and the wholesale annual slaughter of millions of sharks for their fins....
Turning the Chinese into a nation of vegetarians - a lifetime's work; will they achieve that before or after they get Bambi's mother to escape in the remake?
Posted by The Englishman at 7:06 AM
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May 23, 2005
The myths are no longer sustainable
Kimball Nill, Technical Director, American Soybean Association-International Marketing
The advent of ag biotechnology has been memorable for many reasons. One of the most curious, and for me, the saddest, is the contagion of misunderstandings, half-truths and sometimes blatant falsehoods spread by its critics and rivals during the past decade. These myths for often, that is all they are have poisoned honest debate and corrupted the judgements of politicians, journalists, consumers, farmers, and tragically, the governments of some of the worlds poorest countries.
In 2003, the American Soybean Association (together with eight other leading U.S. farm organizations) published Correcting the Myths. We wanted to add the rational, independent farmers voice to the worlds biotech debate, a viewpoint often unheard, and certainly often ignored, in Europe and elsewhere. We sought to communicate the facts about ag biotech, in part based on our own experiences, to counteract some of the most egregious propaganda ever to emanate from environmental and organic farming lobbyists.
Two years on, we realise our document needs to be updated - because the facts just got better. Read it here
Posted by The Englishman at 8:25 PM
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An everday story of urban folk
Jemma, Jade and Natasha Williams, who receive benefits totalling more than 31,000 a year, are raising their babies alone after they became pregnant within three months of each other.
The sisters, aged 12, 14 and 16 when they gave birth, live in Derby with their twice-divorced mother, who holds the education system responsible for their plight.
"I blame the schools - sex education for young girls should be better," said Julie Atkins, 38. ...
Jemma, the youngest sister, was the first to become pregnant, giving birth to her son T-Jay in February last year. Then, in November, Natasha, 16, who had already had two miscarriages and an abortion, had Amani. The next month, Jade, 14, gave birth to daughter Lita.
..
The family lives rent-free in a three-bedroom council house, which they claim is too cramped. Their mother claims benefit for Jade and Jemma, now 15, as well as for their children. However, she said that day-to-day life was a struggle.
"It's really difficult to survive on what we have," she said. "My average shopping bill is 90 a week, and then there's all that extra stuff like toys, nappies and medicine.
"The house is far too small. I have to share a bedroom with Natasha and Amani which is very cramped. Hopefully we may be able to get a bigger house, but who knows?"
Of course the fathers are not expected to be there or do any supporting, you know the rest.... - one thing puzzles me - Benefits - 31,000 a year, House free, Medicines free, Schooling free etc - shopping 90 a week, say 5000 a year, why are they so hard up?
Posted by The Englishman at 6:53 AM
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May 20, 2005
Conservation News
BBC NEWS | UK | Woodland bird decline alarms experts
Ornithologists say they are increasingly concerned about the "alarming" decline of some of Britain's woodland birds species.
I'm not an expert but my suggestion would be try shooting the lovely fluffy Grey squirrels who attack bird nests to eat the eggs and other predators - see SongBird Survival - acting to help songbirds survive for other details of the non-politically correct way to manage the countryside.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:48 AM
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May 18, 2005
Top News
Sorry I'm a just a grumpy old man but when Kylie's breasts beat the Queen's speech outlining the nuLabour plans for a zillion new laws and demanding "respect,man" as the top story on the news something maybe slightly out of kilter in the MSM.
Not that Kylie's breasts aren't something that I have considered in the past, but she is young, fit, healthy and wealthy so, we pray, her prognosis is good. It is a non-bloody-story apart from for her and her close ones!
Anyway for those without a Kylie picture on the wall please allow me to relate the latest:
Kylie is a bit worried about a lump she has found in her breast. She goes to her nearest hospital and is shown into a cubicle. A short while later a man swishes back the curtain, looks surprised and does the full "rabbit caught in headlights" bit, thinking "bloody hell - Kylie Minogue in my hospital".
Kylie says to him "sorry to bother you, I would like you to inspect my breasts please."
The man looks kind of uncomfortable. "I'm sorry Miss Minogue but it's really not my department - I'd love to help but there are these rules you see..."
"Please help me," says Kylie, "I'm terribly worried."
Thinking "what the hell" the man proceeds to give Kylie a very tender but thorough and professional inspection.
"Hmm," says he, "I can see what you mean. I think you should see a doctor
about that."
"You mean you're not a doctor?" asks Kylie, horrified.
"No," says the man, "I'm just the porter. I was just checking the cubicle and didn't realise it was occupied. I did try to tell you but you were so insistent."
"That's terrible," says Kylie, "I've just let some random bloke fondle my breasts."
"That's not the worst of it," says the bloke. "Even if I could tell
anyone, they would never believe me."
Posted by The Englishman at 9:28 PM
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May 16, 2005
Your Life in their hands
BBC NEWS | Health | Doctors warn over right-to-life
A judge's ruling on the rights of terminally-ill patients could put doctors in an "impossibly difficult" position, the GMC has told a court.
Leslie Burke who has a degenerative brain condition, won a landmark ruling last year to stop doctors withdrawing food and drink when he cannot speak.
Artificial nutrition is classed as a form of treatment by the GMC...
Professor Irene Higginson, who specialises in palliative care and gave evidence on behalf of the GMC in the original hearing, said there were cases where giving food and water artificially could do more harm than good.
Note the weasel words "Artificial nutrition" - this simply means feeding someone who can't feed themselves. My four year old daughter needs us to go and buy food, cook it and put it on a plate for her -is she living on "artificial nutrition"? Yes, according to these doctors.
And so if she happened to be in hospital; and it was all a bit too much trouble; they needed the bed to hit a Government target; and the Consultant had a really important meeting on a Portuguese Golf Course all week; it would be all right to just stop feeding her? Like fuck it would be!
Now I hope that if when my time is done, if I can't roll over like Sir Henry and reach the double barrelled, then a good doctor will help me out with some drugs even stronger than "GB" of the "Dear Hugh" letters is used to. But if I have said I don't want to be starved or dehydrated to death, (a nasty way to go), then I bloody well don't want to be - OK?
Posted by The Englishman at 11:38 PM
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Save the Land-Rover
BBC NEWS | Business | Greenpeace in Land Rover action
A number of Greenpeace protestors have entered a UK Land Rover factory and disrupted production at the plant.
The environmental action group says 35 of its members breached security at the plant at Solihull in the West Midlands.
Greenpeace says the action is in protest at what is claims are the "climate wrecking" emissions from Range Rovers, Land Rover's premium model...
Stephen Tindale, executive director for Greenpeace in the UK and a former New Labour environment adviser, was one of the protesters who chained themselves to half-built chassis.
Mr FM, where are you? You are needed to leap to the Landies defence.
Of course I would just restart the line - "Darling, what is that rattle in the boot well? - Just a nulabour advisor who got welded into a box section - nothing to worry about...."
Posted by The Englishman at 10:43 AM
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Breaking rocks in the hot sun
BBC NEWS | UK | Offender uniform plans dismissed
Home Office plans to make young offenders wear uniforms while they carry out community service orders have been condemned as a "nasty gimmick".
Probation officers said naming and shaming offenders was counterproductive and would lead to more re-offending.
Rights group Liberty said the plans would only degrade those involved....
Ahh Diddums - Me, I'm on the side of Dragline..
"Boy, you're new meat. You're gonna have to shape up fast and hard for this gang. We got rules here....
Anyway I thought they all wore a uniform already; white trainers, jeans, hoody and a Burberry hat....
ARTIST: Sonny Curtis
TITLE: I Fought the Law
Lyrics and Chords
Breaking rocks in the hot sun
I fought the law and the law won (2x)
I needed money 'cause I had none / I fought...
/ G - C G / / G - D7 G / :
{Refrain}
I left my baby and I feel so bad
I guess my race is run
Well she's the best girl that I ever had
I fought...
/ C - - - / G - - - / C - - - / G - C G / G - D7 G /
Robbing people with a six gun / I fought...
I miss my baby and good fun / I fought...
Posted by The Englishman at 7:06 AM
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May 3, 2005
Camera Protest.
This is it - today's the day.
Telegraph | Motoring | How speed generates heat
This morning, at 10am, a group of drivers will cause a rolling roadblock of the M4 motorway by driving at a steady 56mph between Membury Services near Hungerford and Junction 17, for Chippenham. "We don't want to hold people up, or become a safety risk, we just want to get our point over," says protest organiser Robin Summerhill.
And that point is? The decision by Wiltshire and Swindon Safety Camera Partnership to place mobile speed-camera vans along the motorway....
It (is) claimed that some 12 million motorists have been caught by speed cameras since their introduction in 1992, raising 700 million in speeding fines. It (is) also suggested that these 12 million fined motorists will make a powerful voting block in the forthcoming general election.
Maybe in the next one....
Posted by The Englishman at 6:27 AM
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I hope the bunny huggers are happy
Telegraph | News | Hunt ban 'has caused rise in fox suffering'
The ban on hunting with hounds has increased the suffering of foxes as more are shot and wounded, according to research published this month.
The study, which appears in the May issue of Animal Welfare, the journal of the Universities Federation for Animal Welfare, undermines claims by the RSPCA and League Against Cruel Sports that hunting, until it was banned, caused more suffering than shooting.
The study showed that up to 50 per cent of foxes shot with shotguns were wounded, not killed.
"The ban has guaranteed that the time and money invested by the League Against Cruel Sports and the RSPCA has increased animal suffering. We told them this would happen. This is the cost of ignoring that warning."
I have had to dispatch two foxes suffering from gangrenous gunshot wounds, one with tyre lever as it was all I had to hand. It is not a nice way to go.
It never was about the fox - bastards.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:19 AM
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Sir Digby tells the teachers
Telegraph | News | Schools 'wrap children in cotton wool'
Schools are wrapping children in cotton wool rather than encouraging them to take risks, Sir Digby Jones, the director general of the Confederation of British Industry, said yesterday.
"Unless you educate children about risk, get them to understand it, get them to embrace it, then we will fail as a nation and fall behind our economic rivals," he said. "China will have our lunch and India will have our dinner."
Sir Digby told head teachers meeting in Telford, Shropshire, that he was alarmed some schools did not hold sports days or, when they did, made sure there were no winners or losers.
"I want sports days," he added. "I want medals for first, second and third, not for everyone who takes part. I want exams that you can fail. But we must reach down to those who do not come first, second or third and give them the confidence to find out what they are good at."
Now that is the sort of thing we should be politicising about - not the blather that the Parties have been on about over the weekend.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:13 AM
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Spanish Practices
BBC NEWS | Technology | Washing machine fingers lazy male
A Spanish designer has come up with what could be the perfect solution for the woman who feels frustrated that she has to do all the house chores.
It is a washing machine called "Your Turn", which will not let the same person use it twice in a row.
Ye Gods man, I'm not sure what the economy is like in Spain but if Johnny Dago think I can afford to employ a second Laundry Maid then he hasn't experienced life under Tax and Waste Brown.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:09 AM
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April 29, 2005
Good nes for the environment and farmers
Telegraph | News | China poised for GM future as rice yields leap 10pc
Farmers growing genetically modified rice in field trials have reported crop yields up by 10 per cent, pesticide use down 80 per cent and fewer pesticide-related health
problems...
Overall, use of the GM rice enabled the farmers to reduce pesticide use by 15 pounds per acre, an 80-per cent reduction when compared with pesticide use by farmers using conventional varieties.
Prof Huang added: "Sixty-two per cent of the farmers who planted insect-resistant GM rice applied no pesticides to their GM rice fields, and nearly 90 per cent of them sprayed no pesticides for the borers."
The average yield of the GM Xianyou 63 and GM II-Youming 86 were six per cent higher, and average yield of the GM Xianyou 63 variety alone was nine per cent higher than that of conventional rice varieties.
"Annually, more than 50,000 farmers are poisoned in farm fields, of which some 400-500 die," Prof Huang said. But the survey indicated that none of the farmers in the trial reported experiencing adverse health effects from pesticide use in either 2002 or 2003.
A vast reduction in pesticide use (and insecticides are nasty stuff), more food, hundreds of direct deaths prevented - good news all round.... isn't it?
Posted by The Englishman at 6:39 AM
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April 26, 2005
One for your PDA
ChairGun2 is the Ultimate Pellet Trajectory Calculator
ChairGun Mobile is fast becoming a favourite too as a stand-alone trajectory calculator - but now you can generate CGM data files on your desktop and download them into your PDA - it's become even more convenient.
(It seems to be designed for airguns but it may work for rifles as well if you have the data.)
Posted by The Englishman at 7:49 AM
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April 25, 2005
Kids are a blooming nuisance.
Telegraph | News | Mother wants 250,000 for failed abortion
A mother who gave birth to a twin girl after an abortion failed is suing the hospital for 250,000 to help bring up her daughter.
Stacy Dow discovered she was expecting twins when she was 16 and decided, because of her age and inability to support a child, to have an abortion.
The procedure was carried out when she was around seven weeks pregnant and she was given a contraceptive injection afterwards...
"When I got to 33 weeks I went to the GP again and he told me I was pregnant. I was absolutely stunned. I didn't know what to say or do. It was obviously too far on to do anything.
''My mother told my boyfriend's parents for me. They were shocked too.
"I had no option but to go through with the birth.
"Although I love her to bits, I have a child now that I wasn't planning to have and I believe the hospital should take some responsibility.
''None of us would be without Jayde now but looking after her has been a financial struggle.
"It has totally changed my life and my parents' lives."
The court papers say that as a result of the failed termination Miss Dow suffered "stress and anxiety upon the discovery of her continuing pregnancy".
The papers add: "She has the financial burden of care and upbringing of Jayde. She suffers an impediment in her ability to obtain employment in consequence of her care for the child."
With hundreds of women spending thousands of pounds on IVF and flying round the world to Chinese orphanages and so on to get a baby didn't anyone suggest to this ungrateful cow she might like to give up the little tot for adoption so it had a chance to escape the type of life she leads?
UPDATED - thanks to a reader for pointing out that I had made an erroneous assumption about the father of the child - I have deleted that portion of the post.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:45 AM
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April 22, 2005
Malaria Day
BBC NEWS | Health | 'Little progress' in malaria war
Little progress has been made in the war on malaria because the global body set up to fight the disease in 1998 is failing, a medical journal says.
Roll Back Malaria, an international partnership of 90 organisations, aimed to co-ordinate the response to malaria.
It said cases of the infectious disease were on the rise, with nearly 50% more cases than at the time of the Abuja Declaration.
In a comment piece, the Lancet said: "Five years on from the Abuja Summit, it is clear that not only has RBM failed in its aims but it may also have caused harm."
Maybe it is because the RBM is a typical WHO Quango - It is Malaria Day soon so let us see if they are pushing for a good brush round with DDT and swamp draining - the two really effective methods -
A F R I C A M A L A R I A D A Y 2005
Suggested Activites:
Singing, drama, dancing, drawing, writing or similar activities organized in classrooms, local communities, and national events;
Poster and essay competitions with winning submissions showcased at national or local community centers;
Collaboration with local celebrities such as musicians to host a malaria-control concert or other event;
Posted by The Englishman at 7:36 AM
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April 21, 2005
Stotty's new webpage
filling up nicely with good things such as:
Tractatus
1 The world is wholly contingent.
1.1 The world is the totality of changes.
1.11 The world is determined by the changes, and by there always being change.
2 It is a river-bed proposition throughout all time that climate changes.
2.1 Climate change is a tautology.
2.11 Climate is always either 'warming' or 'cooling'.
2.12 Climate changes with, or without, human contingencies.
2.13 Human influence neither creates nor halts the fact of change.
2.2 The world divides into the facts of change.
2.21 Doing something, and not doing something, are equally contingent.
3 Causality is not a law which Nature obeys.
3.1 Causality is the form in which propositions are cast.
4 Monocausal propositions deny contingency.
4.1 Monocausal propositions are but the witchcraft of their time.
4.11 Monocausal propositions lead to authoritarian actions.
5 Nothing is so difficult as not deceiving oneself.
5.1 Human monocauses are inherently self-deceptive.
5.11 The world is independent of my will.
5.12 There is no logical connection between my wish and the world.
5.121 fx = "x is controllable"; "fx is false for all values of x".
5.122 How likely then is ($x).fx?
5.123 [p,£,N(£)].
6 Logical climate space can be reduced to three words.
6.1 Climate always changes.
6.11 Climate is uncontrollable
7 What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.
Posted by The Englishman at 9:54 PM
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Goggle Danger
Hertfordshire County Council is afraid the goggles could spring back, hitting children in the face. It says they can be worn only "in exceptional circumstances".
BBC NEWS | England | Gloucestershire | Goggle wearing ban making waves
Children in Gloucestershire are being advised not to wear swimming goggles because they are a "safety hazard".
And as always the Council comes up with some weasel words:
Susan Robbins, from Gloucestershire County Council, said the authority was not banning wearing goggles.
"What we're doing is giving schools advice which is based on national safety advice and we're saying children shouldn't be wearing goggles for school swimming lessons. It is a safety hazard," she said.
Wearing goggles is the minimum safety clothing I think you should wear with the average council run pool being a 50:50 mixture of Chlorine and Piss - what with "Senile Water Aerobics", "Toddler Leaking Nappy Funtime" etc. - and I suppose those saddoes who thrash up and down the lanes in their Speedos take their cue from Paula Radcliffe and think winning is more important than getting out the bath to pee.
You wouldn't catch me in one even though Kennet Council mulcts me for hundreds of pounds every year to subsidise their "Leisure Centres".
Posted by The Englishman at 6:49 AM
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April 19, 2005
Game Guide
Telegraph | News | Hello deer, I'm watching from the train
The train operating companies have produced a free guide to spotting wildlife on 10 of the nation's busiest routes..While the guide will have its work cut out assuaging the anger of delayed travellers, it does remind anyone who spends most of the time on trains doing the crossword how much of our native wildlife could be just outside the window.
What's the point? You can't open the windows and you can't carry the trusty shotgun, so pointing out it is a target rich environment just the otherside of a double glazed window will not make us feel happier.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:43 AM
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April 18, 2005
Performance Art
Telegraph | News | Scratching your cars was art, says vandal
An artist who randomly vandalised nearly 50 cars as part of a project said yesterday the owners should be happy they were involved in his "creative process"....
His work will be displayed on Wednesday night in a launch party at The Arches, an exhibition venue in Glasgow. It is the latest bizarre stunt by the postgraduate in the history of art from Goldsmiths College in London.
McGowan, who has described himself as "the British alternative to David Blaine", nailed his feet to an art gallery last year - in a protest against leaves.
I would more than nail the little scote's feet to the floor if he "keyed" my car...
Posted by The Englishman at 6:32 AM
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April 16, 2005
A Good Man gone
April 11, 2005 - Merck & Co., Inc. today announced the death of Maurice R. Hilleman, Ph.D., D.Sc.
"Dr. Maurice Hilleman created a legacy of accomplishment and achievement that dwarfs that of any other scientist working today. His work has saved literally millions of lives and has protected many millions more from disease," said Adel A. F. Mahmoud, M.D., Ph.D., president, Merck Vaccines. "Dr. Maurice Hilleman is one of the true scientific leaders of our time. His work has helped to protect millions from diseases ranging from pandemic flu to chicken pox, and has revolutionized public health, without question. There are few people alive today - or who have lived in any other age in history - who can say that they helped eliminate a disease and saved millions of lives, not just through their discovery, but through their insistence that the fruits of their labor be brought to all those in need. Maurice Hilleman is one of those very few."
RIP
We need more like him - see "evil" white coated scientists working for heartless American multi-nationals do more good than the empty headed pontificating of their enemies.
Posted by The Englishman at 7:40 AM
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April 14, 2005
Pass the cruet set please.
As man and boy my breakfast has consisted of one Weetabix with a covering of Kellogg's Cornflakes with unrefined dark Cane sugar served in a hemispherical bowl with semi-skimmed milk and a heavy "Old English" pattern spoon. (Every item in this list is essential and is not variable if it is going to tast right - if one is missing or it is very cold than I choose Scotts Porage). Now the bastards are messing with the Cornflakes - if they start tasting like non-Kelloggs one my days will be ruined and I will become a grumpy old man every morning.
Telegraph | News | Kellogg's bows to pressure and cuts salt in Corn Flakes by 25pc
Posted by The Englishman at 7:18 AM
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April 13, 2005
Lloyds of London Audit evidence
A kind reader sent me Ian Hay Davison's Affidavit regarding the sorry state of the auditing at Lloyds of London prior to the crash that ruined a lot of good people. Download file.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:58 AM
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April 12, 2005
German Jokes - Part II
The most popular post on this blog is still Jokes from Germany - so for fans of Teutonic Humour here are some more:
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a centipede?
A media circus about the debate over the morals and ethics of genetic
engineering.
So, there were an Irishman, an Englishman and an American wrecked on an island. One day, they found a bottle, and when they opened it, a ghost came out and offered them each a wish. However, even though they wished for different stuff, nothing happened, as the three guys of varying nationalities were just having shared hallucinations from hunger.
How do you drown a blonde?
Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops
struggling.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Repeated absences and stealing.
So a mushroom walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink.
The bartender calls his psychiatrist to report that he is hallucinating again.
How do you brainwash a blonde?
A rigorous schedule of psychologically breaking down their confidence and resistance to outside suggestion.
A black man is going to get a vasectomy. He shows up to the doctor's
office wearing a suit. The doctor says "Why are you wearing a suit?" The black man says "I just got back from a funeral"
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because it was just the decomposing remains of a long forgotten murder
case in a remote field.
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
" Would you like an ice pack? "
Jesus is hanging on the cross and John approaches.
John says: "Jesus, its John. How may I serve thee ain thy time of need?"
Jesus replies: "YEEEAAAAAAAARGGHGGGHGGHGGGHGGHGGH!!!!!"
You want more?
A man spends his first day in prison talking to his cell mate. His cell mate gives him a few tips on surviving maximum security in his first weeks there, and then pauses to look outside the bars of the cell.
"I got an escape plan", says the man's cell mate.
"What is it?"
"Put this blanket over your head, and I'll tell you what to do when the guard comes back."
The man puts the blanket over his head, and his cell mate begins to rape him.
Savagely.
A man walks into a bar
He drinks 6 Newcastles, 4 shots of Jack Daniels, hits on the waitress
unsuccessfully, takes his wedding ring off, tried again and fails, drinks 3 more shots, drives home, beats his daughter for coming home late, and cries himself to sleep realising that he hates his life.
Patrick and Michael were walking along in a forest, when Patrick falls
over and breaks his leg on a tree root.
In agony, Patrick turns to Michael and says "Quick, call me an
ambulance!".
Michael replies " Okay I'll just go to that public telephone we saw
earlier down the path - I'll be back in five minutes. ".
A duck walks into a bar...
Animal control is promptly called, the duck is then taken to a near by park and released.
Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work?
He was weird.
What's the difference between a post box and a vagina?
A post box is a public container for the deposit of outgoing mail, and a vagina is the passage leading from the opening of the vulva to the cervix of the uterus in female mammals.
Why do Mexicans not like going out in the rain?
It's wet.
A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies:
"I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."
Knock knock
Who's there?
The wallet inspector!
Ditch the jokes and come inside, Tim, it's fucking cold.
A chicken begins crossing the street and is hit by several fast moving
metal boxes with wheels.
A Blonde and a Brunette jump off a tall building at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
Both of them hit the ground at the same time. Hair colour doesn't affect acceleration due to gravity.
A man walks into a bar.
He is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family.
What's worse then finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.
Why was six afraid of seven?
It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.
A man walks into a whorehouse and pays a prostitute for sex. He contracts an STD and passes it onto his pregnant wife. Their child is born deformed and has a difficult life.
When asked if he could see the humour in the situation, the child replied "No. No I don't."
A man called a lawyer and asked, "How much will you charge me to answer three questions?"
The lawyer said "$400."
"Wow," said the man. "Isn't that a lot?"
"I guess so." said the lawyer. "When are you going to ask your questions?"
How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house?
You don't, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your
neighbours saw him. I wouldn't worry about it, really.
Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview. The interviewing
FBI agent tells the first man, 'To be in the FBI you must be loyal,
dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you
to go in there and shoot her with this gun.'
The man takes the gun, hesitates, and says, 'Sorry, I can't do it.'
The next interviewee enters the office and the agent tells him the same
thing he told the first guy. The second man takes the gun, walks into the
room, and walks out. 'Sorry, I can't.' he says.
The last man enters the office and the interviewer said yet again explains
the test.' The man says "I'm sorry I love my wife too much to do such a
harmful thing, I guess the FBI is not for me after all."
A guy walks into a doctors office.
The doctor tells him, "You need an operation".
The guy says, "I want a second opinion."
The doctor says*, "Okay, my colleague, Dr. Saknussem, would be happy to
provide you with the appropriate consultation. Here's his address, and
I'll have my receptionist call him and schedule an appointment. Please try
to see him soon, though. At the moment, I'm concerned about the size and
location of this tumour, and I think we should move quickly if we're going
to get our best results."
What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?
They were my friends.
A wealthy businessman is flying to New York for two weeks, and he wants to
keep his wife satisfied lest she sleep around. He drives his BMW to the
adult store and asks the shop assistant for advice on the most pleasurable
sex toys in the store. After being shown all of the options, every dildo
and every vibrator, he is still unsatisfied. His eye then catches on a
hand carved ivory box which is behind the counter. 'What about that one'
he asks. The assistant tells him,
'I'm very sorry sir, but that isn't for sale, it's a very special voodoo
dildo.'
'Well what's so special about it?'
'It is a genuine African hand carved dildo. It was given to the owner of
the store as a gift. It's really just for show, and it could possibly
splinter anyway.'
'Oh ok.'
The man leaves with nothing and heads off to New York. His wife has hot
hot threesomes every night because she married for the money. They were
girl-girl-guy.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate
to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set
for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply
distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the
added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother
was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her
quite forgetful and distracted of late.
Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually
encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging
itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture
removalists van as it attempted to make its way home.
Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental
Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken,
being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen
trout fisherman.
"Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for
excellent trout flys". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most
iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope.
He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the
clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.
Satan takes the form of Jesus and appears to three priests saying that if
they do something evil, he'll let them drink of the holy water.
The three priests discuss the offer and come to the conclusion that Satan
must be tricking them into committing sin. When confronted with this
accusation, Satan reveals his dastardly plot and salutes the priests on
their cunning and steadfast faith.
Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
Because she was blind and deaf.
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a
study which indicated that men use (on the average) only 15,000 words a
day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.
She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women
use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they
say.
Looking stunned, he said, "That's hardly true. You just talk to much,
which was possibly the point of the study."
The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, what'll ya have, Pope? But
the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in
Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and
leaves.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?
No.
Well, it's really nice.
Where did Hitler keep his armies?
The brunt of his forces were applied to the Eastern front, but throughout
different periods of the war, a sizable chunk were used to protect the
Atlantic Wall and a handful of divisions were used in Africa, to secure
shipping routes.
An old man marries a younger woman, but cannot satisfy her in the bedroom.
They go to counselling and the therapist suggests they take a vacation to
somewhere romantic. They do so, but they old man is still unable to
satisfy his new wife. He makes a call to the therapist who recommends the
old man hire a pool boy to wave a white towel over them during their love
making session. The old man will try anything to please his new bride, so
he hires a pool boy for the job, but he still cannot please his young
wife, so he calls the therapist again. This time the therapist says he
should wave the flag while the pool boy has a go at the wife. The old man
says indignantly, "That's the fucking stupidest idea I have ever heard!"
and hangs up. They live out the remainder of his short life miserable and
never are intimate again.
A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before
passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentile, I'm still
a virgin." The husband being shocked, replied, "How's this possible?
You've been married three times before." The wife responds, "Well, I marry
older men for their money and then wait until they die. Usually I don't
have to have intercourse with them. They have alzheimer's and I just tell
them it was the best I ever had."
A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The
kid yells "God damm!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby
overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damm'
say 'God help us'".
The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A Jew is a person adhering to the Jewish faith and a pizza is an
oven-baked, flat, usually circular bread covered with tomato sauce and
cheese with optional garnishes.
What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
An embarrassing situation
Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
She was a schizophrenic
How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her
What's the deal with airline peanuts?
The packaging is generally poorly designed and cheaply made, as a method
of cutting distribution costs. After all, most passengers wouldn't want a
"Peanut Fee" attached to their already costly ticket prices in order to
cover the expenses of higher quality wrappers. What are you complaining
about, anyway? It's free food, and it's a nice snack. If you're really
that bent on not enjoying the peanuts the airline so graciously provided
you with, just save them and give them to the next homeless person you
see. People these days are really selfish.
How do you make a swiss roll?
Generally it involves a thin layer of sponge cake and a layer of either
jam or cream. The resulting flat sheet of cake and cream is then rolled
into a cylinder. It's quite delicious, actually.
Posted by The Englishman at 7:24 PM
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Animal Stuffer
Telegraph | News | Woman who turns pets into pillows faces death threats
...
While female taxidermists are a rarity, Miss Hall - a keen shot since childhood, when she used to go hunting with her grandfather - previously made her name working not only with conventional elk heads and bear rugs, but producing oddities such as deer testicles mounted on a plaque for $125.
Miss Hall likes to target wild hogs with her Remington 7400 rifle. She once explained her passion for taxidermy by saying: "You get an animal that's blasted and shot up, and you think, how on earth am I going to fix this? But it comes back to life again. I love getting the expression in the eyes."
...
Miss Hall says that she follows her golden rule for an off-duty taxidermist looking for love: "Never pick up road-kill on the first date".
Now that is a woman I wouldn't want to piss off - otherwise I fear it might be my testicles stuffed and mounted!
Posted by The Englishman at 3:34 PM
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Local Village Website wars
lynehamvillage.co.uk is getting a lot of stick from the official lynehamvillage.com, or at least the twat running it. Asking for ASBOs and bannings - madness - deatils are here - Websitewar. Even though the joker is anti-tory, anti-fox hunting etc he gets our official support.
Posted by The Englishman at 7:15 AM
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April 8, 2005
Now there's a funny thing
Max Miller's bronze statue will be unveiled by Sir Norman Wisdom & friends on MAX DAY - 1 May 2005 in New Road, Brighton - I hope our South Coast Blogger covers it.
Listen, listen, are you listening, right. Father and son, the boy would be 8 or 9, he may be 10, we don't know, who cares anyway? His father took him to a cattle show on Saturday afternoon where the farmers were buying the bulls and cows, mostly bulls, when all of a sudden the little boy saw a farmer go up to a bull and the farmer started feeling the bull all along the back, he was feeling it, all down and all round, feeling all over. And the little boy said, "Daddy what's he doing?" And his father told him. His father said, "He's feeling to see if there is any meat on it. If there's any meat on it, he's going to buy it." The boy thanked his father for telling him. Two or three weeks later, the boy went to see his father at breakfast. The father asked him what he wanted. The boy said, "I think the butler wants to buy the cook."
There were eight women in a boat and one was expecting a happy event. The other seven wanted to help her, but they were all in the same boat.
Now there's a clever one!
Have you heard about the girl of eighteen who swallowed a pin, but didn't feel the prick until she was twenty-one?
I was walking along this narrow mountain pass - so narrow that nobody else could pass you, when I saw a beautiful blonde walking towards me. A beautiful blonde with not a stitch on, yes, not a stitch on, lady. Cor blimey, I didn't know whether to toss myself off or block her passage.
Boys will be boys, won't they? Lucky for you, girls, otherwise you'd get no fun ... no ... listen!
Posted by The Englishman at 6:35 AM
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April 6, 2005
Funds for mums against guns
BBC NEWS | England | London | Anti-gun lobbyist on theft charge
The former treasurer of a national anti-gun crime organisation has been charged with stealing funds donated to the group. ..Mothers Against Guns was set up by Lucy Cope in 2002, following the death of her son Damian, and is funded by grants and donations, including money from the Home Office.
Sorry - why does the Home Office give money to a single issue lobbying group - does the BASC get money from the taxpayer as well?
Posted by The Englishman at 8:42 PM
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April 5, 2005
Why cleanliness matters
BBC NEWS | Girl amputee, 6, catches MRSA bug
The family of a six-year-old girl who had her hands and feet amputated after contracting meningitis have confirmed she has caught MRSA.
"She's a six-year-old girl. She's fought her way back from death with meningitis.
"She then had to have a quadruple amputation, then a week later she had to have skin grafts. She's a little girl who's been through enough. I am devastated."
She added: "The doctors, they have done their best. They saved my granddaughter's life, there's no doubt about that.
"But there are big doubts and big question marks over cleanliness and I am angry."
And so it should make all of us - if you have children the story is beyond horror.
Posted by The Englishman at 9:58 PM
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April 1, 2005
What I need to drink today
Google Gulp four impressive flavours - sound great especially the cool stuff it does to you - get in early, you don't want to be like the last kid on the block to get Gmail or use Google instead of Yahoo, again, do you!
Posted by The Englishman at 11:59 AM
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March 28, 2005
BBC grudging support for GM
BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | GM golden rice boosts vitamin A
the first concrete evidence that GM technology can produce crops aimed at solving the pressing problems of the developing world, rather than increasing the profits of western biotechnology companies.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:26 AM
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March 21, 2005
No Shit Sherlock!
As a farmer I was gently amused that a 6.5 million pound study had shown that:
BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | GM study shows potential 'harm'
"They've highlighted that what's good for the farmer is not always good for the population of weeds, insects and birds that share that space.
So if I'm paid to grow wheat, I grow wheat and not lesser flagleafed sporage. Amazing! As it happens you the taxpayer now wants me to grow Tree Sparrows and Lapwings - I can report back that the Tree Sparrows are doing very well - maybe the biggest flock in the country - All it costs you is about 500 a year plus a few thousand on Capital expenditure. I grow about 600s worth less of Wheat (the Gross Margain is of course much less) and grow weeds instead.
You want hedges I'm growing hedges, and so on. It has nothing to do with GM or organic farming - it is just simple reacting to market forces.
Posted by The Englishman at 8:48 PM
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March 18, 2005
Killing the ill.
I haven't followed the story on Terry Schiavo very closely. This is a woman who is in a debatably vegatative state and whose feeding tube will be removed today to make her die - the story is long and compicated and unsavoury characters keeping surfacing. Follow the link for more.
On a more general point there does seem to be a rise in Doctors and carers who are prepared to advocate killing the ill and inconvienient. On one side there are many of us who say "Don't ever let them keep me alive in that state, if I haven't got enough strength to rollover for my trusty 12 bore then give me the drugs". And on the other hand we seem to be killing a lot of people who haven't made that choice.
Do you hate Nazis? Not a general disapproval and horror but real gut hatred? I don't think many people do. I certainly didn't. Yes, I knew what they did, on a personal note the Old Man suffered from nightmares all his life and probably died early from the horrors he saw and suffered. But that was his generation, he never complained.
A couple of years ago I had my RCOB moment about Nazis. We were in the Imperial War Museum in London and there was a Nazi film describing the T-4 Euthanasia Program As a German voice explained gently how these unfortunates cost everybody money and contaminated the blood, a picture came up of a youngster walking with a K-walker - a type of zimmer frame for the disabled. At the time the eldest Englishette was using a K-walker to get her up and walking. That bastard was suddenly describing my beautiful child and that is when I started to really hate, and I still do.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:52 AM
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March 16, 2005
Dead Di and Dodi
As the nation mourned, Whitehall cracked a joke at Diana's expense...
You can almost hear that being read in a Dimberly voice and the outrage is being manufactured..
I first news I had of the successful Executive Action sad death of Di was a joke in my inbox at about 6 in the morning - it was so quick that the news on the web haddn't caught up and so I was able to watch the media frenzy start. So no outrage at this story from here.
The Joke? "I heard that Diana was on the radio last night, and the dashboard, steering wheel, through the windscreen....."
Posted by The Englishman at 6:52 AM
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March 15, 2005
An Englishwoman's Garden isn't her Castle
BBC NEWS | England | Manchester | Messy garden woman faces prison
A woman faces a jail term for refusing to clean up her garden.
Helen Abbott, 46, from Stalybridge, Greater Manchester, was taken to court by the New Charter Housing Trust Group which manages her home.
The housing association says the amount of piled-up rubbish in the garden is "disrespectful" to her neighbours.
Ms Abbott failed to turn up to the court case but was sentenced to 14 days in jail.
Ian Munro, from the New Charter Housing Group, said: "We have someone here who has been disrespectful to the neighbours and as a consequence is causing problems because neighbours like to be proud of where they live."
Going to Jail for being disrespectful and doing what you want to in your own garden? A Free Country?
Posted by The Englishman at 7:09 AM
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March 14, 2005
Bullying
The press is full of Bullying - as ever I turned to Kipling and Stalky & Co for an insight:
You are devils, you know, said Campbell.
What? for a little bullyinsame as youve been givin Clewer! How long have you been jestin with him? said Stalky. All this term?
We didnt always knock him about, though!
You did when you could catch him, said Beetle, cross-legged on the floor, dropping a stump from time to time across Seftons instep. Dont I know it!
Iperhaps we did.
And you went out of your way to catch him? Dont I know it! Because he was an awful little beast, eh? Dont I know it! Now, you see youre awful beasts, and youre gettin what he gotfor bein a beast. Just because we choose.
We never really bullied himlike youve done us.
Yah! said Beetle. They never really bullyMolly Fairburn didnt. Only knock em about a little bit. Thats what they say. Only kick their souls out of em, and they go and blub in the box-rooms. Shove their heads into the ulsters an blub. Write home three times a dayyes, you brute, Ive done thataskin to be taken away. Youve never been bullied properly, Campbell. Im sorry you made pax.
Posted by The Englishman at 8:43 PM
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March 12, 2005
Cordite
The AnarchAngel: The Carnival of Cordite, Week Four
Next weeks Carnival of Cordite will be hosted by Kevin Menard.
To submit your firearms, firearms rights, firearms politics, firearms porn, and firearms stuff related posts; write them up on your blog or web page and link to them in the comments on his post, trackback them, or email them to carnival of cordite ( at ) hot mail ( dot ) com.
Posted by The Englishman at 10:17 PM
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For Sale - some Kite parts delivered here by accident.
BBC NEWS | England | Bristol | Kite man's rifle delivery shock
A man who ordered parts for a kite buggy was shocked when he received two Winchester rifles instead.
Andy Coptcoat, from Berkshire, ordered two steel tubes through Bristol-based Atmosphere Kites, who forwarded the order to its suppliers in France.
"I thought the shape of the package looked strange and when I checked it, the two firearms were inside," he said.
Posted by The Englishman at 7:56 PM
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March 11, 2005
Censors at work
THINK you can guess the kind of movie thats likely to get the censors knickers in a twist this week? Michael Winterbottoms 9 Songs, with its two tirelessly bonking actors, might seem like the safe bet. But think again. In this weeks releases, its a moment of suspected pigeon abuse that has got the British Board of Film Classification in a flap. (The Times)
In Emir Kusturicas Balkan wartime farce, Life is a Miracle, the BBFC was troubled by a scene in which a cat attacks what appears to be a live pigeon. Kusturica claimed that the pigeon was already dead and the fact that its wings appeared to flap was thanks to a cunning arrangement of wires and pulleys. He also threatened to pull the film from British cinemas altogether rather than cut the two seconds in question.....
Posted by The Englishman at 7:40 AM
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March 10, 2005
When you are filling out your expenses claim remember Benford's Law
Everyone knows that our number system uses the digits 1 through 9 and that the odds of randomly obtaining any one of them as the first significant digit in a number is 1/9. (First significant digit means we ignore zeros.) This works well for fake data generated with a random number generator or the type of data an embezzler would create. With naturally occurring data this generally isn't true. The odds of obtaining a 1 for the first significant digit of a number are much higher than the odds of obtaining any other digit as shown by Benford's Law...has been used as a method for spotting fraudulent accounting data by looking at the first significant digit of each data entry and comparing the actual frequency of occurrence with the predicted frequency. Most white collar criminals are unaware of Benford's law and will use each digit about 10% of the time for the first significant digit in a number.
Posted by The Englishman at 7:03 AM
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March 3, 2005
New Shooting Law
Before you shoot a bird pest you must be able to show that saying "Boo" to it hadn't worked! I expect there will be a form to fill in soon.
On Tue (Mar 1) the government passed an amendment to general licence, number WLF 18, applicable to all shooters without consultation.
Under the new rules the shooting of bird pests will only be justified if other non-lethal methods of control like gas bangers or scarecrows have been found to be ineffective.
"This licence can only be relied upon in circumstances where the authorised person can demonstrate that appropriate non-lethal methods of control such as scaring are either ineffective or impracticable."
Posted by The Englishman at 6:21 AM
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February 28, 2005
Increasing hassle of employing people
PLANS to extend maternity rights were condemned by business leaders last night who said that they could cripple hundreds of thousands of companies.
Tony Blair will announce today that millions of parents with school-age children could soon have the same right to part-time work as families with infants. The right to request flexible work would also be extended to 1.8 million women who look after sick or disabled relatives..... The aim is to get [statutory maternity pay] right up to the full 12 months by the end of the next Parliament, she added.
Ms Hewitt noted that the Government had already doubled the length of statutory maternity pay from 13 weeks in 1997 to 26 weeks, while maternity leave has been extended from six months to a year.
As GODFREY BLOOM said (and was deliberately misunderstood and hounded):
Who loses out from this? Certainly small businesses lose something when they can't recruit the best person for the job. But the biggest single victim of the legislation is any woman of childbearing age who wants a job with a small business. She faces untold behind-the-scenes discrimination because businesses simply cannot afford to employ her.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:56 AM
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February 18, 2005
After Lunch...
On Kim du Toit's site someone wonders about the wonderful report of what happened when the Greenies attacked the City Traders, and got more than they expected: They ask
but why was going in after lunch a bad idea?
My dear boy - in England some of still have a drink or two at lunch even on a working day. I know the last alcoholic drink during work in America was on 19th March 1987 but here we aren't all Puritans. And mix a few pints with some Cockney Barrow Boys, sprinkle with Aggro and the fun starts.
Wanders off whistling "Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner..."
Posted by The Englishman at 1:36 PM
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February 16, 2005
Live and learn
The admirable Kim du Toit has been assembling some care packages for a couple of Marines in Iraq - amongst the many and weird items he is sending Tampax - to quote:
Tampax are literally lifesavers when it comes to treating bullet wounds. The little buggers are sterile, expand to plug the hole (as every woman knows), and cause the blood to coagulate inside the wound.
I read a letter from Marine Mom, wherein her son says that every Marine in his platoon now carries four Tampax tampons in their battlepack med kit.
Sanitary pads are also good for covering large-area wounds and staunching blood flow, so I included a box of Kotex as well.
Posted by The Englishman at 9:58 PM
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Local Shooting News
BBC NEWS | England | Wiltshire | Protesters get 30k compensation
Ten animal rights protesters were awarded 30,000 compensation by police after officers were accused of falsely imprisoning them.
The campaigners claimed they were wrongfully arrested while demonstrating against a pheasant shoot at Wansdyke Farm, Ham, near Marlborough, Wiltshire.
They were arrested on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm.
A Wiltshire police spokesman said the case was settled out of court and without any admission of liability.
The protesters' lawyer, Iftikhar Manzoor, said that on 27 October 2001 they stood next to the shooters, forcing them to stop.
He said this was a commonly-used method for halting a shoot because gun-handling guidelines say a shooter must 'break' the gun to make it safe, if approached.
That is 50p of my Rates going to a good home then! - 3000 for a nice day out in the countryside, pissing off some posh people and being banged up for a few hours. Where do I apply to join in?
Posted by The Englishman at 6:20 AM
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February 15, 2005
To be sure - it wasn't meant
BBC NEWS | World | Europe | Irish fury over ambulance clamp
The Dublin Airport Authority has voiced regret after an ambulance waiting for a seriously injured patient was clamped by airport police.
Thank goodness when my old friend the Stasi Agent and his wife went to watch the Rugby they had no such problem. Getting into the taxi at the airport she went to put the seat back and cut her finger off. The young Lady paramedic first on the scene had to go round the corner to vomit so the fire brigade had to help out; but they got Mrs SA to the hospital and tidied up. Of course when he went to the match he had a spare seat and didn't think to ring and offer it to me.
Still apart from that, a great Dublin weekend was had by all.
Posted by The Englishman at 10:43 PM
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February 13, 2005
A peaceful Pint
PUBS ...in Wiltshire are among the least likely to erupt into booze-fuelled violence than anywhere in the country, figures have revealed.
Or is it that they are the least likely to get the Police involved? A quiet word outside from The Good Colonel has stopped at least one "situation" ever getting physical without the need for anyone else getting involved. We are a peaceful sort as you will find out when you come to visit.
Posted by The Englishman at 7:50 AM
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Local NHS news
BBC NEWS | England | Bristol | Woman dies after ambulance wait
A 43-year-old woman died after a three-hour wait for an ambulance, an inquest has been told.
Beverley Stillman's doctor called an ambulance to take the mother of two from her Warminster home to hospital in Bath for treatment for an abscess.
Despite a 999 call later, crews took three hours to turn up. Mrs Stillman arrived in hospital four hours after the original call, the inquest heard.
During the journey to hospital Mrs Stillman's heart stopped and she was declared dead 10 minutes after arriving at hospital.
If I dial 999 that is the service and hospital that will respond, eventually. I got a bit of a lecture once for rushing someone who was seriously injured into hospital in my car rather than wait for an ambulance - "Scoop and run" I think saved his life.
Posted by The Englishman at 7:42 AM
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February 11, 2005
Not self-defence at work
BBC NEWS | England | Merseyside | Woman jailed for testicle attack
A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.
She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours."
Lovable Scousers, eh? Always up for a laugh! - Jesus, keep me safely away from any woman who can do that..
Posted by The Englishman at 6:44 AM
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Self-defence at work
BBC NEWS | England | Somerset | Girl punches flasher and escapes
A teenage girl punched a flasher in the face so she could flee his lewd advances, police have said.
..The victim, who was wearing three rings, hit him and ran away.
..The girl told detectives his jeans were dirty.
Pity there wasn't a bit of 4x2 handy for her to smack the offending parts with.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:41 AM
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Inhumanity of anti-smokers
BBC NEWS | Wales | BMA calls for hospitals smoke ban
The British Medical Association in Wales is calling for smoking to be banned in all hospital grounds.
Fair enough in the building - but in the grounds? A few years ago I was in a shocked state having driven an accident victim into hospital and the Nurses kept offering me a cigarette - even though I said I was a non-smoker. There are a lot of visitors and patients at hospitals who really benefit from a calming smoke. There poor bloody people who it no longer matters if they smoke, and denying them is plain cruel. And there is a small matter of freedom...
Posted by The Englishman at 6:36 AM
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February 10, 2005
Get a life
BBC NEWS | England | Gloucestershire | Councillor sorry for pigeon mail
A councillor has said sorry after replying to a protester's email with the message "get a life, you moron" during a row about a pigeon cull.
Rob Sinfield, from Stroud District Council, was contacted by Paul Taylor from Bedford who was upset by a planned cull in the town.
I would have apologised as well - for being too bloody polite to the moron, a bit more invective was what was needed...
Posted by The Englishman at 6:01 AM
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February 6, 2005
Cyclists - bad for the environment
BBC NEWS | UK | Cycling 'needs more investment'
an extra 70m is needed to meet government targets on reducing congestion and enhancing air quality.
The average commuting journey is 8 miles # the average cyclist burns about 50 calories per mile # So there and back an extra 800 calories.
Where does that energy come from - food - more food transport, more packaging etc. More energy waste. So they consume more fossil fuels than Mr FM in his bloated plutocrat car. And then some of them shower - the many who don't can't talk about "improving air quality" -using more fuel. In fact a brolly through the spokes is the best thing you can do to improve the environment....
Oh, and did I mention they smell?
Posted by The Englishman at 8:17 AM
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February 3, 2005
So would I..
Officially, I think it's a really bad idea to put people like that out on the streets with no diversity training but, as a resident, I know I would feel safer if I knew former IDF soldiers were patrolling the streets where I lived.
Posted by The Englishman at 9:18 AM
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Not Pro Bono
SOCIALIZED MEDICINE writes:
Bono, U2s lead singer, is one of the leaders of the campaign to supply the third world with drugs by dismantling the intellectual property rights of pharmaceutical companies. So is this his position on IPRs generally? Not at all. Bono is also one of the leaders of the campaign to strengthen the IPRs of (youve guessed it) musicians. Today, most European countries protect copyrights on sound recordings for no more than 50 years. The U2 members think that they should be allowed to "retain their copyright for at least as long as they live, and to pass it to their heirs, just like any other asset that they own." Yes, its very easy to say that property if theft when youre talking about other peoples properties.
Someone might say that there is a big difference between music and life-saving drugs. I agree. Gifted musicians would probably continue to create music even if they didnt make much money on it. But I dont think that anyone would continue to pour hundreds of millions of dollars into research for new drugs if they had no way of financing that investment through sales.
He forgot to mention that Bono and the rest of U2 are Irish Artists and so are exempt from Income Tax at home - it makes it even easier to spend other peoples tax money when you don't contribute...
Posted by The Englishman at 7:24 AM
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February 2, 2005
Sadly Missed
BBC NEWS | England | London | Comedian's body found in Thames
Hardee founded the Greatest Show On Legs balloon dance troupe and used his genitals to do an impression of Charles De Gaulle.
Posted by The Englishman at 11:15 PM
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February 1, 2005
Sleep safely in bed tonight
The long awaited guidance document on what you can do when an intruder is caught.
It goes to show it wasn't the law that needed changing but that the Police and CPS needed to be forced to make a public display of priorities.
So print off a copy and wrap it round a baseball bat...
Posted by The Englishman at 10:17 PM
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January 31, 2005
Quote of the year so far..
Chase me ladies, I'm in the cavalry
Having testicles is like being chained to the village idiot
Posted by The Englishman at 12:10 PM
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January 23, 2005
Bravo!
This jolly Onion Seller seems to be doing the right sort of thing - getting up the Gallic Nose of the local Mayor - good for him, there should be more of it and thank God we haven't got a common European Arrest Warrent yet...
As explained by:
Loic Le Meur Blog: A French blogger arrested by the Police because of his blogging
Christophe blogs on monputeaux.com. He is a citizen of the city Puteaux that is close to Paris.
Christophe does not like the way the city mayor manages the city, spends the public money and says it on his blog, every day. He has been very successful doing that, with hundreds of inhabitants of Puteaux reading and commenting his blog everyday and many national newspapers that talked about his blog.
Christophe criticizes the city management so much that they have tried to stop him for months, the city mayor has even sent him threats over the phone that he recorded and blogged, of course.
Today, he has been stopped in the street by the Police Municipale (the local French Police) who tried to arrest him for his blogging. Fortunately for Christophe, the National Police arrived immediately as they found what was happening weird, and let him go.
Hat tip to: Campaign to protect bloggers via The Bish
Posted by The Englishman at 9:52 PM
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January 22, 2005
Swindon Boys at it again
BBC NEWS | England | Wiltshire | Speed camera cut down and stolen
"What they don't realise is that speed cameras are not put up for the fun of it," she (Miss Hissy the Police spokeslady) said.
"We have revenue targets and crime detection figures to reach and speed cameras enable us to do it while we sit on our lardy arses and eat donuts, Sorry.. They are there because an area has a history of speeding casualties."
Posted by The Englishman at 12:51 AM
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January 19, 2005
No Health'n'Safety Bull here
Telegraph | News | Bulls kill 13 at Indian harvest festival
The deaths from goring or trampling during the four-day festival have caused concern, but organisers and police said "all possible precautions" were taken for the event.
Four people died and 200 were injured in one celebration in a temple at Alaganallur, 15 miles from the city of Madurai when some 600 beasts, led by the ferocious white temple bull, were released into the crowd.
Bull owners pride themselves on making their animals as aggressive as possible either by baiting them or feeding them large quantities of arrack, the local firewater.
Fair enough - bit of concern, but these things happen....
Posted by The Englishman at 6:58 AM
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January 18, 2005
Gardening tips
I am distressed to learn that the British are punishing America by inflicting upon them Ground Force America
Ground Force, the exciting garden transformation show, comes to the USA to turn neglected backyards into brand-new beautiful and lush spaces.
Please don't take these quick change merchants with "water features" "decking" etc as real British Gardening. It takes time and neglect to make a real blowsey beauty of a garden.
I can pass on the advice I believe Lord Rothschild offered : "No matter how small your garden is, you should aim to have a minimum of a quarter of an acre of natural woodland in it."
Posted by The Englishman at 7:11 AM
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A Golden Opportunity
BBC NEWS | World | Europe | Jersey | Island sand could power vehicles
A Jersey-based scientist says sand from the island's beaches could be turned into hydrogen and used to power cars.
Dr Anthony Hayden-Taylor's company has bought the technology development rights which may provide an alternative energy source to fossil fuels.
He believes his firm will be in full commercial production turning silicon to hydrogen to be used to power cars.
So Silicon into Hydrogen, wow! Not Lead into Gold?
Either the BBC has got it wrong or too many years being a leading light in the environmental movement has soften his brain.
I have his address:
Recycled Refuse International Ltd (Head Office). Address, PO Box 188, Jersey, JE4
9RT Channel Islands. Telephone, +44 153 4498123. Facsimile, +44 153 4498124
Now to see if he is interested in Brooklyn Bridge..
Posted by The Englishman at 6:59 AM
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January 17, 2005
Your usual Sir?
Telegraph | News | Microchip to allow wallet-free drinking
A Scottish nightclub is about to become the first in Britain to offer its customers the chance to have a microchip implanted in their arm to save them carrying cash.
The "digital wallet", the size of a grain of rice, guarantees entry to the club and allows customers to buy drinks on account. Brad Stevens, owner of Bar Soba in Glasgow, said his customers had responded enthusiastically to the idea.
The VeriChip is inserted by a medical professional and then scanned for its unique ID number as a customer enters the bar.
"There are a number of advantages, from instant access, to not having to carry money or credit cards, to letting bar staff know a customer's name and favourite drink," said Mr Stevens. "By the time you walk through the door to the bar, your favourite drink is waiting for you and the bar staff can greet you by name."
I think I prefer to go to a Pub where the Bar Staff actually know my name - though it is a pity the old account system no longer works. In the old day with Foul Mouthed Gary at the Bar I just gave him a blank cheque once a month and he sorted it - saved the pain of seeing the amount! He could even forge my signature to make life even easier...
Posted by The Englishman at 7:06 AM
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January 16, 2005
BBC - spit
EU Referendum brings us this from the BBC.
"The Asian tsunami has provided a perfect example of the need for an effective UN under an activist Secretary General. This time Kofi Annan was quick off the mark and America's independent efforts soon looked superfluous."
I suppose I should expect it from the BBC but it has made me so angry I can't think of what to say. Bastards. And I pay for them!
Posted by The Englishman at 7:29 AM
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January 14, 2005
Badger Badger Badger
Down on the farm we rarely talk of much else apart from TB and Badgers - the theory is that Badgers spread TB into cattle who then can give it to humans. So cull the badgers! No. Because they are cute! More Research is needed! And of course when research is tried in this country it is sabotaged by Bunny Huggers. So the news from over the water is interesting and the reactionas are predictable.
Countryside Alliance urges Government to use Irish badger research
Politics.co.uk, UK - Jan 11, 2005
Following the publication of the new research into badgers and bovine TB undertaken by University College, Dublin, for the Irish Government, the Countryside ...
Republic's badger cull 'not effective'
Belfast Telegraph (subscription), UK - Jan 11, 2005
... Dr Elaine King, chief executive for the National Federation of Badger Groups said ... badgers but 6.5% of Irish cattle herds were still under TB restriction while ...
Study 'proves case for badger culls'
Telegraph.co.uk, UK - Jan 9, 2005
... will come under pressure to rethink this position in the light of findings that show the effectiveness of badger culling in ridding cattle of TB in Ireland. ...
Let us cull badgers, farmers urge ministers
Telegraph.co.uk, UK - Jan 9, 2005
... Dr Elaine King, the chief executive for the National Federation of Badger Groups, said: "This trial suggests that badger culling only reduces TB in cattle if ...
A time to cull
Telegraph.co.uk, UK - Jan 9, 2005
... that reducing the badger population is the best way to contain tuberculosis in cattle. Every year, the Government spends on bovine TB compensation as much as has spent on the tsunami crisis. Ministers could save themselves this sum, and relieve our farmers from a nuisance, simply by allowing them to cull badgers, whose numbers have anyway hugely increased.
...
Posted by The Englishman at 8:03 AM
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January 12, 2005
Thousands 70 to die
BBC NEWS | Health | 'vCJD timebomb' fears discounted
High numbers of future deaths in the UK from the human form of mad cow disease are unlikely, researchers have said.
The Imperial College team calculate there will be around 70 future deaths...
Which of course has upset other researchers such as:
The CJD Surveillance Unit said predicting the extent of vCJD was very difficult, but said the more research was carried out, the more secure their jobs would be accurate predictions could be.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:28 AM
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January 11, 2005
Not the Govt's fault?
LATEST: New study blames government policies for fuelling anti-HIV discrimination.
BBC NEWS | Health | HIV discrimination 'rife in UK'
...called for the Crown Prosecution Service to rethink its policy of prosecuting people for reckless HIV transmission.
.
It is not often that I don't blame the Government but not in this case. People don't like ill people, it is not Homophobia; walk into a Pub with a streaming cold and people quite rightly discriminate against you.
(On HIV there are interesting Questions On The HIV-AIDS Hypothesis over at Dean's World.)
Posted by The Englishman at 6:24 AM
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January 8, 2005
Undermining the NHS
Fast-track surgery centres are treating people up to eight times quicker than other NHS providers, a government report says.
..they have "contributed to the lowest waiting list figures since records began".
Figures released on Friday showed in November last year the waiting list stood at 844,000 - a fall of 13,000 since October and the lowest since data was first collected in September 1987.
SocietyGuardian.co.uk | Society | Doctors condemn treatment centres
Dr Paul Miller, chairman of the British Medical Association's consultants' committee, said parts of the NHS have been undermined by the treatment centres.
And that is a bad thing? Only if you think the NHS should continue to be run for the benefit of the Doctors and Staff rather than the poor bloody patients!
Posted by The Englishman at 10:00 PM
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January 7, 2005
Personal Responsibility on the Road
Wiltshire County Council has tested removing white lines from the centre of urban roads and found that accidents fell by 35 per cent
...research from the Netherlands, Denmark and Germany has shown that traffic lights and road signs deter road-users from taking responsibility for their actions. A driver simply looks at the colour of the light rather than at people wanting to cross. Far from making junctions safer, the array of signs and markings on modern roads distract road-users from the task of safely negotiating a route past other people.
The concept of "shared space" was pioneered in the Netherlands, where traffic lights and signs were removed from several junctions. Despite widespread predictions of chaos and carnage, the approach has reduced the number of crashes and made car journeys quicker.
Outragous; letting people take personal responsibilty - surely it is the job of the Council to tell us what to do every time, all the time!
When I worked in Newbury there was a large roundabout where I had to join the main road to start driving home. Some nights it would take 20 minutes to get through there. The lights on it were dodgy and so regularly they would fail and it was a free for all - without fail the traffic flowed quicker and safer in those cases!
One of the first, if not the first, experiment was in Devizes where I now work and it works really well, both as a driver and a pedestrian. But even though removing white lines cut the number of accidents they were being pressured to replace them in case they were sued for the lack of them after an accident...
Posted by The Englishman at 7:05 AM
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January 3, 2005
First Campaign I'm joining this year
When it's blowing a gale outside and raindrops are coursing down a steamed-up kitchen window there are few culinary sights more welcoming than a bowl of Heinz Cream of Tomato soup or a generous pile of Heinz Baked Beans heaped over a doorstep of freshly toasted white bread.
These meals may not please the food fascists who appear to run this tin-pot nation... but they are our birthright and a staple food of the Englishman’s nursery. They are a culinary retreat that harks back to childhood and a time when the world was a safer place and David Blunkett wasn't waiting to give you a thick ear for not carrying your national identity card.
So imagine my surprise when, on opening a couple of cans of these products over the Christmas break, I discovered that some lentil-eating, Guardian-reading do-gooder at Heinz had decreed that a large dose of salt and sugar be removed from both products.....
Posted by The Englishman at 10:25 PM
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Blogging - the rules
The Policeman's Blog gets a nice plug from the BBC who are recycling stories about blogging today - BBC NEWS | Technology | Bloggers reveal their motives - And they include "12 Rules of Blogging" ..
3. Ask your manager if you have any questions about what is appropriate to include in the blog
4. Be respectful to the company, employees, customers, partners, and competitors. Criticise but be balanced, give opportunity for feedback, and be justifiable.
Sorry - Bollocks! if you follow that you are nver going to write anything interesting!
Posted by The Englishman at 7:02 AM
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The Numbies
Number Watch yet again presents the essential:
The Fourth Annual Numby Awards
Once a year and once again the Balls Pond Road rouses itself from its customary slumbering dignity. The excited crowds began to gather early round the entrance to the assembly rooms above the Takeaway Kebab. The venue was even more glamorous this year, thanks to the efforts of the Balls Pond Boys Brigade and the bulk purchase of paint from Morry's emporium opposite. Most of the cracks in the plaster have now been filled and the dcor is a uniform shade of puce with trimmings in battleship grey.
The awards committee has been afforced with new members in order to reflect the changing world. One was Roger Doffen, author of the forthcoming best-seller Man of Destiny: the Michael Meacher story. Another was the up and coming starlet Constance Exeter, who was short listed for the part of the receptionist in the forthcoming Hollywood super-hero block-buster Earwigman meets Volewoman. A third newcomer was Tracey Hirst, the well known artist, whose construction Slug in a beer bottle was shockingly overlooked by the Turner Prize panel.....
Take it with a pinch of salt but do go and read this site.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:56 AM
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December 22, 2004
Good excuse
BBC NEWS | Health | Walk reduces festive heart harm
"If you are going to over-eat at Christmas, it would be worth considering going for a good long walk first - as this at least can undo some of the damage the over-indulgence is about to cause"
Professor Peter Weissberg, British Heart Foundation
Well in that case I'm definitely going to walk down to the Pub for a half (Gallon) before lunch then - only doing it for the good of my heart, Dear!
Posted by The Englishman at 6:44 AM
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December 16, 2004
Parking Fines
A reader sent me an appalling tale of some parking company try to extort money from them - I have covered using the Bill of Rights to try and protect yourself before but the great man himself Neil Herron is pursuing it again. One day we will get an answer!
Posted by The Englishman at 11:23 AM
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December 15, 2004
Happy Christmas from my lawyer
As it is that time of year, please accept with no obligation, implied
or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially
responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter/summer solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyabletraditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish
at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Posted by The Englishman at 9:53 AM
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December 14, 2004
What to buy your Gran
BBC NEWS | Health | Ten odours 'help spot dementia'
Doctors have known for some time that smell is one of the first things to go when someone develops dementia.
The Alzheimer's Society is funding a study at Oxford University looking into a person's ability to smell lavender.
I have never understood why little old ladies cover themselves and their houses in vile Lavender smelling scents but I do now. They can't smell it properly!
Mind you my Dear Old Mother was as daft as brush in her declining years but she never went into the Lavender syndrome - her problem was she remembered the war years and had a certain frugality of mind. So no sense of smell and a reluctance to throw food out meant her Fridge was a minefield. If the milk could be got out the bottle it was still alright! I'm sorry to say I didn't have cup of tea with her for a long time.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:51 AM
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December 13, 2004
Where is Mr NBC when you need him?
I faced the annual Treacle Danger tonight as I popped the lid of the Black Treacle tin - best before June 2001 - ignoring the dire warnings not to even open an out of date tin and to dispose of it safely. Not so much as a hiss - still the tin is only half used so maybe by 2008 it will have started to react.
Christmas cake made - now 11 hours in the bottom oven of the Aga - should be lovely and moist!
(I know it should have been made bloody weeks ago but I've been busy - at least we have last years Xmas pudding to rejuvenate with spirits - that should be mature now. What do you mean "Best Before"?)
Posted by The Englishman at 9:29 PM
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Welcome The Bishop
Bishop Hill is a new boy on the block. Go and say hi!
Posted by The Englishman at 7:34 AM
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December 12, 2004
I can sleep safe in my bed at night now.
BBC NEWS | England | Wiltshire | Armed police shoot errant sheep
"A decision was made to deploy armed police officers - The sheep was a "danger". say police
Posted by The Englishman at 8:28 AM
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December 11, 2004
Boning question
Talking to the Good Colonel and Mr FM I was surprised they were strangely ignorant of the art and science of "Boning". I am sure you, dear reader, being a "man of the world" aren't, but as a bit of fun, for which trade does the following appear on their website?
TREES are more or less essential because of the "boning" process.
Horace Batten Bootmaker (LTD)
"BONING" is a traditional polishing method whereby best quality black wax polish is liberally applied to the boots with a cloth and then brought to a high gloss finish by vigorous rubbing with a deer bone.
Posted by The Englishman at 1:16 AM
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December 10, 2004
Don't bring a rifle to a tank battle.mpeg
From German For Beginners
Note to Glorious Freedom Fighters of the world. If you want to impress the ladies by firing off a couple of rounds from your rifle, don't choose a tank as a target and then nonchalantly wander off. It's positively unhealthy.
Posted by The Englishman at 7:35 PM
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Christmas is coming
First of the Xmas dos last night - this morning I'm suffering - and today promises lunch time with Mr NBC followed by drinks tonight, probably with the Good Colonel and Mr FM, and then the weekend starts. But we mustn't complain - so as my Xmas gift to you I present below a handy cut and keep guide to hang on the back of the outhouse door. As you are groaning in the morning it is important to be scientific about these matters.
| The Bristol Stool Scale (drawn up by a team of gastroenterologists) | ||
| Type 1: | Separate hard lumps, like nuts. | Are abnormally loose (ie constipation) and result from a slow bowel transit time. These seem to be linked with an increased risk of gallstones. |
| Type 2: | Sausage shaped but lumpy | |
| Type 3: | Like a sausage or snake but with cracks on the surface. | Are described as perfectly normal bowel motions |
| Type 4: | Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft | |
| Type 5: | Soft blobs with clear cut edges | Is poorly formed, soft and verging on abnormal. |
| Type 6: | Fluffy pieces with ragged edges, a mushy stool. | Are abnormally loose (ie diarrhoea) |
| Type 7: | Watery, no solid pieces. | |
Bowel Habits (according to a study they did involving almost 2000 people)
The commonest bowel habit was once daily with 40% of men and 33% of women enjoying a regular 24-hour cycle.
7% of men and 4% of women had a regular twice or thrice daily bowel habit.
33% of women defecated less that once daily.
1% defecated once a week or less.
Only 61% of men and 56% of women had what were defined as normal stool types - ie least likely to provoke symptoms.
Most people in the study defecated in the morning with the commonest time being 7am - 8am for men and an hour later for women.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:47 AM
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December 8, 2004
Big Brother is in your car
When a traffic crash reconstructionist wanted to know the speed of a car in the seconds before it crashed into the side of a school bus, he found that information, and more, in the car's Event Data Recorder (EDR), a feature quickly becoming standard on all cars. The recorder, a four-inch square metal box, is currently installed in most recent GM vehicles and select 2000 and later Ford vehicles.
List of all vehicles with an EDR on board.
Originally designed to improve air bag performance based on the severity of the collision, the event data recorder can tell traffic accident investigators about the car's speed, engine RPMs, how far the accelerator pedal was pressed, if the brakes were applied, whether the drivers seatbelt was buckled and what warning lights were on - all from about five seconds before impact.
More on the debate here and here
Posted by The Englishman at 7:01 AM
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December 7, 2004
Stilton time
It is time to make sure that a round of Stilton is getting ready in the larder, so I looked in Waitrose who claim to be experts on Stilton.
Bollocks - some nanny label on the back saying - "Purchase before 26th December; Best before 27th December - Once opened eat with in three days".
"At home, keep your Stilton chilled in its original packaging until about two hours before you intend to eat it and serve at room temperature. Once opened, either wrap in greaseproof paper or kitchen film, ensuring no open air can get to it and store chilled."
How wrong can you get - the bloody thing is a living beast - it needs to be kept at Larder Temp, not in a bloody fridge and allowed to breathe, not get all sweaty in plastic. And if you can't scoop out the runny centre it ain't ready!
Mrs Englishman doesn't allow it in the kitchen as it smells so bad, so the the boys and I sneak out to the Back Kitchen for snacks. I refused to buy it from Waitrose so must go into town tomorrow for some.
Mind you what do you expect of a store with acres of "Feminine Freshness" products on display? Apart from little old ladies who stink of piss, what the hell do women buy them for? A daily scrub with Coal Tar soap is all you need - if you are unhappy with the Mouse Ears being "real" and "animal" you are never going to enjoy life!
And talking about "The scent of a woman" - one great film - can I admit to the tiniest bit of sympathy for Blunkett. The visual delights of the opposite sex (your mileage may vary) are one of the great joys of life. If you have never enjoyed that, when an attractive woman falls into your lap it is perhaps understandable why you act like a teenager from a single sex school. But he should have grown up by now.
Posted by The Englishman at 9:33 PM
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December 6, 2004
Stanley Green lives
Some of my older readers may remember Stanley Green , the "less passion from less protein" man who died in 1994.
Stanley had paraded up and down London's Oxford St for the last 25 years carrying a placard warning against the dangers of lust and passion caused by "fish, meat, bird, cheese, egg, peas, beans, nuts and sitting", and selling thousands of hand printed leaflets entitled 'Eight Passion Proteins' at 12p each.
His spirit lives on..
BBC NEWS | Health | Red meat link to arthritis risk
The team also found that eating more protein overall, including other forms of meat and plant protein, also increased the risk of developing RA, while eating fat did not seem to raise the risk.
Posted by The Englishman at 7:47 AM
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An all too familiar headline
BBC NEWS | UK | Darling sends drink-drive warning.
Darling, I thought you were driving. Darling, I know you drove last time but Tom and Margret are MY special friends.
Darling, I promise to drive next time.
Darling, are you sure you are alright to drive? Don't forget you did have a couple at lunchtime as well......
Posted by The Englishman at 7:37 AM
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Dr Madsen Pirie - nuts
As previously reported Dr Madsen Pirie at the Adam Smith Institute is worried about his Brazil nuts. He blames the EU for banning them. That was last year - this year I am happy to report they are available in Waitrose in Marlborough (The Sloane Square of The West). If they aren't available in the further corners of Westminster I will only be too happy to make up a food parcel and send him some.
The Adam Smith Institute Weblog has airbrushed his complaints out their history in true Stalinist style (or something).
Posted by The Englishman at 7:34 AM
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December 2, 2004
GM - this time it is personal
Light blogging today as I had to go to Oxford for a blood test - it looks like there is a 50% chance I have a rare disorder - Factor VII deficiency - (which is usually asymptomatic so it doesn't cause any problems - the possibility was picked up in a routine test on the Heir, results will come back sometime...). Obviously a little worrying in case it causes problems in any of my offspring - that is if I have it. So straight to Google and look what I find -
AR.net >> Genetically Modified Fish Produce Blood Clotting Agent
Researchers at the UK's University of Southampton and U.S. biotech company AquaGene have created a genetically modified fish which produces the human blood clotting agent factor VII.
Factor VII is used to treat a rare form of hemophilia as well as being used to treat gunshot wounds.
Currently factor VII is available commercially as NovoSeven -- an injectable factor VII made from genetically modified hamster cells. Unfortunately growing hamster cells is surprisingly expensive, and a single injection of NovoSeven can cost up to $10,000....
Interestingly, animal rights activists frequently claim that human beings are just too different from animals for things like NovoSeven or this new fish-derived effort to work. In this case, though, it is the difference between animals and human beings that makes using animals as a source for factor VII attractive.
Factor VII can be derived from human sources, but it requires expensive filtering to ensure that no human diseases are passed between the donor and the ultimate recipient. So far, there is no evidence that diseases can be passed from factor VII derived from hamsters or fish, making animal-based products superior to the human-based alternatives.
So while I have always supported GM technology in a general way - now it is personal and please feel sorry, very very sorry, for the first moonbat to start preaching the evils of GM to me. And using Hamsters or Guinea Pigs for medical purposes, which is current hot news in the UK - great by me!
(The Heir? - The problems come if you are homozygous for the gene - he is probably heterozygous and well in the safe zone for % so he should have no problems.)
Posted by The Englishman at 8:17 PM
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December 1, 2004
Silver students
BBC NEWS | Education | Learning in the third - and fourth - ages
You're never too old to learn, so the saying goes.
Until relatively recently this was little more than a hollow clich for most retired people, for whom access to education was very limited.
But since the 1960s various movements - colleges, home-based courses and even a special university entirely for those of the "third age" - have started.
It is easier for pensioners, given a little effort, to learn than at any time before.
Hundreds of thousands are taking up the offer - there are now officially more than 600,000 learners over the age of 60 in England alone.
A Department for Education and Skills spokeswoman said: "They are overwhelmingly doing part time, non-vocational courses which don't lead to a formal qualification.
"There is a very wide range, from yoga and aerobics through to painting, ICT, modern foreign languages and basic literacy and numeracy."
And all very pleasent for them - I can sort of understand why we subsidise young students, they may contribute more to society eventually...But why are we subsidising this sort of stuff for wrinklies?
Posted by The Englishman at 8:58 AM
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November 29, 2004
Was I dreaming?
Driving over to Free Market Towers at 7 am on Saturday morning the BBC News came on and I noted a story. I have tried to find it online to bring it to you. All I get is story not found. So did anyone else hear the bleating about how after four years of education about the "unequivocable man made climate change" "agreed by most leading scientists" "worse than terrorism!" the public hadn't changed their mind one bit - exactly the same percentage were worried/unworried about it as back then.
Hurray, I thought - headlines "Public ignore experts" etc - but then nothing more was heard. Maybe I was still suffering from Friday night and just dreamt it. And after a few of Mr FM's Damson Gins and getting some lead into the air - I forgot all about it until today.
Posted by The Englishman at 8:38 PM
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Kill or cure?
BBC NEWS | Health | Waterloo lessons could aid medics
Of the 52 privates in the 13th Light Dragoons wounded by sabre, gunfire and cannon injuries at Waterloo, only two subsequently died.
Professor Singer said: "Despite the non-existence of antibiotics, blood transfusions, life-support machines and other paraphernalia of modern intensive care, most of these soldiers recovered, often from life-threatening injuries.
"Yet with all our technical advances in medicine, mortality rates from conditions such as sepsis (bacterial infection of the bloodstream) haven't improved dramatically over the past century.
Could it be our interventions hinder the body's strategies to heal itself?
Posted by The Englishman at 6:59 AM
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GM studies...
BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Study finds benefits in GM crops
A major study of genetically modified crops in the UK has found no evidence that they harm the environment.
....
However, Emily Diamand, senior farming researcher with the anti-GM Friends of the Earth, was sceptical that Bright really had mimicked normal farming practice.
Speaking before the findings were available, she told BBC News: "Nenenene, I can't hear you, talk to the hand because the ears arn't listening, yaa boo sucks......
Posted by The Englishman at 6:55 AM
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November 26, 2004
Big Bullies
Scotsman.com News - UK - Anger as Asda targets pressure group
THE pressure group Farmers For Action, whose members face legal action from Asda over blockades at its retail depots, is demanding to know how the supermarket company could have hand-delivered letters to the homes of more than 50 of its co-ordinators and activists without breaching the Data Protection Act.
The letters, threatening to bring injunctions and claims for damages if the blockades continue, come as dairy farmers say milk prices in the industry have hit an all time low. "We only get 17p per litre, yet it sells in the supermarkets for 50p," said John Cummings, a Stranraer dairy farmer and a member of Farmers For Action (FFA).
"We won't be bullied because we are threatened by a giant bully. We want to warn Asda that we won't go away, we can't afford not to fight.
The countryside is revolting in many ways. And the guess is that ASDA got the names and addresses from number plates via the Police which is very very naughty.
The police won't even give me the name and address of the owner of a car that crashes through a fence and is left upside down in my field. Of course if the owner doesn't claim it I'm liable for the costs of removing it, but if I move it and damage it then the owner could sue me. Thank goodness the wind seems to pick them up and drop them back onto the roadside where the council have to deal with them.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:24 AM
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November 24, 2004
The Lord tells you to be armed!
Christian Guide to Small Arms Online v.1.0
The Command of Christ
And He said to them, "When I sent you without money bag, knapsack, and sandals, did you lack anything?" So they said, "Nothing." Then He said to them, "But now, he who has a money bag, let him take it, and likewise a knapsack; and he who has no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one. For I say to you that this which is written must still be accomplished in Me: 'And He was numbered with the transgressors.' For the things concerning Me have an end." So they said, "Lord, look, here are two swords." And He said to them, "It is enough." -Luke 22:35-38
Not so much "Gentle Jesus meek and mild" - more "John Wayne" - I love that - Hey I've got two swords!" "It is enough"....
Posted by The Englishman at 6:34 AM
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November 23, 2004
German Humour at its best
"You've never been this awake"
This is is an advertisement from Germany. When they finished filming
the ad, the people who made it, noticed something moving along the side of the car, like a ghostly white mist.
If you turn up the sound, you can also hear whispering.
The ad was never put on TV because the unexplained ghostly phenomenon
frightened the production team out of their wits. Watch it and about
halfway through (after the car comes from behind the trees) look closely and you will see the white mist coming up from behind the car and then following it along the road!
http://www.drmenlo.com/flicks/carghostclassic.mpg
Posted by The Englishman at 8:57 AM
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November 22, 2004
Child Killers at work
English GP takes 32 week pregnant student to Spain for abortion
Further complicity between UK abortionists and the Spanish abortion clinic, Ginemedex, is revealed in The Sunday Telegraph (UK) today. An English GP admits to having accompanied a student to Barcelona to terminate a 32-week pregnancy for social reasons. Once again the UK abortion provider, British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS), focus of an earlier scandal unravelled by the same Telegraph team, features regularly in the report.
Anybody involved in any way whatsoever in the termination of an unborn child at 32 weeks gestation is a barbarian,' said a spokesperson for Comment on Reproductive Ethics. It is absolutely against the law in both countries, and there is no way this act can be justified. I feel as disturbed by this killing as I have been by the execution of innocent hostages in Iraq.
The involvement of BPAS is no surprise. This ill-named organisation has never offered meaningful pregnancy advice. It exists to promote abortion, seeing it as its messianic mission - no reason too trivial, no date in pregnancy too late. Dr Adlakha, the GP involved in The Sunday Telegraph expose, is obviously part of the same network and mindset. There is a viciousness about those organising these abortions and their mania for destroying the unborn child which is almost beyond human understanding.
Sick sick sick - on the radio the excuse the abortionist offered is that it is better to kill the child than offer it up for adoption as you don't know what will happen to it then. Well some of who were adopted are happy that we ended up where we are rather than as a bloody mess in a bowl. Will we see rigourous prosecutions of all concerned? Don't hold your breath.
Posted by The Englishman at 10:39 AM
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November 19, 2004
Too much regulation?
The Animal By-Products Regulations 2003
In accordance with regulation 13, 14 and 40 of the Animal By-Products
Regulations 2003 and Article 18 of Regulation (EC) No. 1774/2002, the
Secretary of State approves any premises to:
(d) cure horse tails for use on rocking horses.
Well that is a relief!
Posted by The Englishman at 9:23 PM
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Truth in advertising
The alternative ads that never made it.
Posted by The Englishman at 9:10 PM
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November 15, 2004
Metric kristallnacht
Blithering Bunny reports on:
The metrification bullies turn violent.
..a trading standards official of Torbay council in Devon walked into Dennis Webb's fruit shop. When he saw that, despite a previous warning, Mr Webb was still using scales that measured only in pounds and ounces, Mr James produced a hammer and a metal punch with which, according to Mr Webb, he struck the scales so hard as to render them unusable.
Might have guessed it would those nutter down ther - we have mentioned them before.
And on Metrication Madness let me present you the regulations on Honey:
WEIGHT MARKING
Honey may only be packed in certain metric quantities. These are as follows:
57g, 113g, 227g, 340g, 454g, 680g, or a multiple of 454g.
The imperial equivalent may also be shown (i.e. 2oz, 4oz, 8oz, 12oz, 1lb, 1 1/2lb, and multiples of 1lb).
So you can't sell a pound of honey or a kilogram of honey - complete madness...
Posted by The Englishman at 12:18 PM
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November 9, 2004
It s the CATS not the CAP
Euroserf notes that " BirdLifes scientific studies from the last 30 years have shown that 70% of the 173 different priority bird species which are dependent on farmland habitats in Europe are endangered. This dramatic decline is clearly associated with the Common Agricultural Policy which over the last 40 years has stimulated changes in land use in Europe that have had a devastating effect on bird populations, other wildlife and natural habitats.
Now the CAP is a BAD thing for many reasons -though helping me pay off my mortgage means it has at least one redeeming feature - but killing the songbirds? - modern agriculture wherever doesn't help - that is nothing to do with CAP just progress. But CAP reform means that there is money for providing for the birdies - I have just trousered 10k for various schemes to make the Castle more environmentally friendly last year, it is more profitable and fun farming wildlife than wheat I have discovered. So beat the CAP for its sins but leave Jenny Wren out of it.
A real villain is elsewhere - one without any redeeming features at all (though no politician will go after it...
It is a fact that the single most devastating killer of small birds is the domestic cat. Something like 100,000,000 small birds are killed by dear pussy on an annual basis.
Put a collar and a bell on every domestic cat in the country.
This is the primary objective of the Save Our Songbirds Society. All paid up members of the Society will be given a set of collars and bells to give away to their cat loving friends, and a sheaf of leaflets explaining the benefits to wildlife that will accrue from this endeavour.
There is a lot of nonsense talked by those who should know better. The Magpie is a well known raider of eggs and chicks, is now said not to endanger small birds. The Sparrow Hawk is a merciless killer of the vanishing Song Thrush and Blackbird and has doubled in numbers but is unassailable.
The Harrier - reported in the Langholm
Report to have killed 956 Meadow Pipits on two moors alone in a year, not to mention all the grouse, is protected from cull. The Peregrine Falcon, the Goshawk Hawk, are all afforded blanket protection at the expense of the songbird. This madness must cease. Of course it is possible to have a good population of avian predators, but when their numbers swell to the disadvantage of all around them, then something must be done.
Posted by The Englishman at 9:35 PM
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November 8, 2004
Windfarms causing climate change
Article: Weather hots up under wind farms | New Scientist
Wind farms can change the weather, according to a model of how these forests of giant turbines interact with the local atmosphere. And the idea is backed up by observations from real wind farms.
And on the subject can we have break from "fuel cells" and Hydrogen as the answer..
"Hydrogen has the potential to power our cars without pollution," U.S. presidential candidate John Kerry said in an interview.
Hydrogen is not a source of power; it's a medium for distributing power. It still has to be manufactured before it goes into a fuel cell to work its pollution-free magic. If that manufacturing process uses conventional fossil fuels, the only real environmental advance of fuel cells is in shifting pollution from one place to another.
That is the whole point - move the pollution to where the poor people live rather than on our streets...
In a new study of the impact of using "green" sources of power to produce hydrogen for fuel cells, two researchers at the University of Warwick have calculated that it would take 100,000 new wind turbines or 100 new nuclear power plants to replace all of the U.K.'s oil-burning vehicles with "green" hydrogen-powered fuel cells.
That's a wind farm the size of Wales... Source
Posted by The Englishman at 6:23 AM
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Cause and effect?
The New York Times > National > Despite Drop in Crime, an Increase in Inmates
The continuing increase in the prison population, despite a drop or leveling off in the crime rate in the past few years, is a result of laws passed in the 1990's that led to more prison sentences and longer terms,..
"Despite"? Huh - I think if they got their heads out of their liberal arseholes they would realise they meant to say "has caused".
Posted by The Englishman at 6:16 AM
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November 7, 2004
And that is why they do it..
BBC NEWS | UK | Burglars see theft as 'risk free'
"Once inside a property, residential burglary for this sample of offenders was regarded as virtually risk free."
Need I say more....
Posted by The Englishman at 2:48 PM
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October 29, 2004
Easy to Spot...
NIGHTSAVE DEER
With over 500,000 deer/auto collisions every year, the cost in lives and money is staggering.
While insurers pay over a billion dollars in claims annually, over 200 people are killed. Countless other drivers and passengers suffer injuries and other serious medical complications.
By implanting the gene of a special jellyfish into deer, the transgenic NIGHTSAVE deer produced by GENETIATE (patent pending) have fluorescing hair and skin when illuminated by car headlights. The implanted gene has no other effect on the deer, who appear normal in daylight.
The NIGHTSAVE project aims to reduce the number of night time deer/auto collisions, saving the lives of both deer and people.
TO VIEW A SIMULATED COMPARISON BETWEEN NORMAL AND NIGHTSAVE DEER, CLICK HERE
:) It is too easy....
Posted by The Englishman at 11:58 PM
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HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). and a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one
to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain...Good
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets and remember,
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather
to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the
other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO
HOO! What a Ride!"
Posted by The Englishman at 8:40 PM
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October 28, 2004
I must be dreaming...
attempting escape: Some sense over self-defence brings this story to mya attention -
A 73-year-old farmer who shot a burglar after being broken into three times "could not be criticised" for the way he defended his property, a judge said yesterday.
Judge Andrew Hamilton, sentencing the burglar to seven years in jail for a string of similar crimes, said it was "a pity" that prosecutors had even thought of bringing charges of assault against the farmer, Kenneth Faulkner.
Bloody Hell - what is going on? I can't believe it, so I think I will slip the cork out of something dry and white and drink to a Judge who talks sense.....
Posted by The Englishman at 9:46 PM
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October 27, 2004
No Yolk campaign
Scotsman.com News - Latest News - Hallowe'en Children Face Eggs and Flour Ban
A council has waged war on mischievous Halloween youngsters by banning children from buying eggs, it emerged today.
Stockton-on-Tees Borough Council has joined forces with several major stores to stop youngsters buying eggs for "trick or treating".
The supermarkets have also agreed not to sell flour, firelighters or matches to anyone under 16 during the 10-day ban.
Posted by The Englishman at 11:44 PM
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October 26, 2004
H&S bastards Part 2
A traditional shower of poppies planned for a Remembrance Day service in Sandwell has had to be scrapped because of Health and Safety regulations.
In previous years thousands of paper poppy petals have been released during the minute's silence at the packed event in West Bromwich town hall.
But the emotional tribute which has been part of the annual service since before the Second World War has now been banned.
Fire inspectors who visited the venue in the town High Street said the practice breached health and safety regulations. They believe the paper poppy petals would be a fire hazard.
But Sandwell Council today vowed to raise the matter with the West Midlands Fire Service as a matter of urgency.
Councillor Keith Davies, cabinet member for community, today criticised the decision and accused "jobsworths" of ruining the event.
He said: "I'm absolutely furious about this and I shall be looking into this myself personally. We have to remember why we are doing this. We're doing this to mark the sacrifice of thousands of servicemen and women.
"For some jobsworth to come along and decide this is not on."
No comment needed
Posted by The Englishman at 7:27 AM
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H&S nutters Part 1
Times Online - Newspaper Edition
A traditional bonfire built by firefighters and situated next to a fire station has been scrapped because it could breach health and safety regulations. The Guy Fawkes celebration in Coleshill, Warwickshire, fell foul of new legislation that requires public bonfires to be cordoned off and monitored 24 hours a day.
Of course Firefighters don't know as much as a spotty H&S official straight from school...
Posted by The Englishman at 7:19 AM
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October 24, 2004
German Humour
or is it from Finland? Anyway the best and funniest gory training film I have ever seen...Click
Posted by The Englishman at 9:44 PM
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October 22, 2004
A modern romance
Film rights available...
Posted by The Englishman at 4:34 PM
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October 18, 2004
Welcome to the NHS
A mother has said her 16-year-old son waited two hours for an ambulance to take him 300 yards to intensive care.
Jackie Gallimore said three ambulances were outside A&E at University Hospital of North Staffordshire but none could be used to pick up Luke.
Luke, who had leukaemia, slipped into a coma as he waited to be transferred from a ward and never recovered.
One hour after the first call for an ambulance, Dr Keiron Lennon asks ambulance controllers why Luke had still not been moved.
An ambulance control supervisor then came on the line and told the doctor: "It's politics and it's not fair on your patients but I'm going to speak very strongly to the bed manager. I'm sure she can get one of those cleared."
(Full story)
"going to speak very strongly" - I bet that sorted it out - a 16 year old dies and they wring their hands in sorrow but change nothing.
My 16 year old boy is going into an NHS hospital for a serious operation this week, wish him luck.
Posted by The Englishman at 3:03 PM
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Leave it to us - we are professionals.
BBC NEWS | Health | Warning on internet health advice
..seemed to boost medical knowledge, but, if anything, have a negative effect on the users' health...users may become so steeped in information that they make treatment choices on their own, contradicting advice from their doctors....The researchers say more work is needed to fully understand...researchers "worry that the friends you make on computer are not right sort of friends, won't be there for you and may not be good for your social well being."..Further, well-informed health consumers may not, as expected, drive down the use of health care but may increase it by demanding specific and possibly more costly treatments.
In other words - doctors don't like punters who know anything and want to take some control of their own problems, life is much easier if you can fob them off with "the usual" instead of them asking awkward questions.
I plead completely guilty - when one of the Englishettes went down with chronic eczema the GP and consultant were sympathetic but not that helpful. We worked out our own routines from Internet (and other) advice and the eczema has 99% gone. And, yes, we demanded new, modern expensive drugs that the doctor hadn't offered..(Topical immunosuppressants such as tacrolimus (Protopic) and pimecrolimus (Elidel) - out of interest our ezcema routine is below)
Our Eczema routine..
1) All eczemas are different - what works for me might not work for you - just read all the advice and experiment and go with what works. I'm not a Doctor - this is just what worked for me.
2) There is no cause and there is no cure - it is all about management.
3) Check nothing is causing irritation - woolly clothes, cats etc.
4) Buy sleep clothes with built-on mittens - you must stop itching. www.healthy-house.co.uk is one example of suppliers.
5) The problem is that the skin has lost the ability to hold in moisture - you have reverse that.
6) It is also susceptible to infection - so be prepared to use antibiotics as much as necessary - but they also inflame so don't use them as routine.
7) Morning and night give a flannel bath with a cool oily water (Avena oil in water worked). When you can give a bath with the same.
8) While still damp cover in grease to keep that moisture in - we tried lots, Vaseline Petroleum Jelly is still a handy mainstay.
9) Moisturise twice as much as you think you need to - Vaseline Intensive Care range worked best for us.
10) Hit outbreaks hard with Elidel and or hydrocoritisone - we used to swap between the two every couple of weeks (Elidel is great but we just had a gut feel that is helped to change occasionally.) By the time the patch is really visible the damage is done - learn to spot them as they start deep in the skin and stop them then.
11) You are in this for the long haul - months maybe years - but you will get through it and it will get better. keep trying new things and trust your judgement as to what works - be prepared for it not to get better in the short term but don't resign yourself to victim status. And remember ezxema comes and goes, so just because you tried pointing the bed to the sunrise and it cleared up doesn't mean you have discovered "the cure". Good Luck.
Posted by The Englishman at 7:11 AM
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October 15, 2004
Lawyers, don't you love 'em?
Scotsman.com News - Latest News - Why 'Ethnic Minority' Is Out of Date - Law Society
The phrase "ethnic minority" is out of date and should be replaced by the new alternative "minority ethnic", the Law Society said today.
How many billable hours did that work of genius take?
And it doesn't make sense!
White Foxhunters are members of an ethnic minority - vs - White Foxhunters are members of an minority ethnic.
Ethnic is a bloody adjective - or a slightly derogatory term applied to a single member of an ethnic group.
Posted by The Englishman at 7:20 AM
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October 14, 2004
Disgrace all round
BBC NEWS | England | Hampshire | 4,800 tax bill for brain surgery
A police officer is facing a tax bill of 4,800 after his force paid for an operation to remove a brain tumour.
Hampshire Police agreed to pay for a private operation costing 12,000 after the officer was told he would have to wait eight months for NHS treatment.
Chief Constable Paul Kernaghan said it was a "public disgrace" that the Inland Revenue had decided to treat the operation as a taxable benefit.
"Brain surgery is not performed on a whim, nor is it a cosmetic procedure, it is a procedure no one undertakes lightly."
"The NHS should have treated the officer much quicker, it failed to do so and we were able to step in. Yet the officer is now being penalised. That is just plain wrong."
Posted by The Englishman at 8:47 PM
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October 12, 2004
One for Mr NBC
Exponent- Multimedia Plant Explosion
An ammonium perchlorate plant exploded in May 1988 near Las Vegas (Henderson, NV). A fire and two massive blasts, the largest of which exceeded the equivalent of 1.5 million pounds of TNT.. oh hell that is the band width gone downloading the video.
Posted by The Englishman at 10:02 PM
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October 8, 2004
Sick Terrorists at work in England
BBC NEWS | England | Staffordshire | Protest 'link' to desecrated grave
The grave of an 87-year-old woman whose family has been the target of animal rights protesters has been desecrated.
The damage to Gladys Hammond's burial plot was discovered on Thursday at St Peter's Church, Yoxall, Staffordshire. Her remains had been dug up.
Her family's connection to a farm where guinea pigs are bred for research has led to a campaign against them..
What can you say about people who would do such a thing that couldn't be better said with a baseball bat and some heavy boots. Bastards - and it is all for the love of furry animals!
Posted by The Englishman at 9:19 PM
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Live long and prosper.
Reading the essential Numberwatch review of October 2004's health scare nonsense. I remembered this quote from Desmond Morris in The Times:
At 76, Morris is ampler-bellied than during his television-presenter days, but he is still effortlessly healthy, so much so that he boasts that he has yet to know what it is to spend a night in hospital. People dont realise that all these fitness regimens are linked to anxiety, and anxiety suppresses the immune system. So rather than embark on regimens, you should just enjoy life, he hoots. Oh dear, I do sound awfully smug. I can see how some might say Kill the bastard.
First sensible advice I have read there for a long time - but true to form the day after thhe paper lead with the hysterical story:
ONE in ten Britons can expect to suffer from diabetes by 2010 as the full impact of the countrys soaring levels of obesity takes its toll on public health.
Doctors leaders gave warning yesterday that a diabetes epidemic was now inevitable as new figures revealed that the number of cases has gone up by more than one third in the past eight years.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:54 AM
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October 6, 2004
Quis Custodiet ipsos custodes?
BBC NEWS | England | Oxfordshire | Police chief sorry for 999 delay
A chief constable has apologised after his force was slammed over the length of time it took officers to attend a shooting in which two sisters died.
Vicky Horgan, 27, and Emma Walton, 25, were shot dead by Vicky's estranged husband, Stuart Horgan, in Highmoor Cross, Oxfordshire, in June.
Police received two 999 calls at 1637 BST but armed officers did not enter the house until an hour later.
An inquiry into the shooting said the delay "cannot be justified".
It also criticised the ambulance service, which did not arrive until after 1800.
The report found that the control room inspector on duty at the time did not initially send officers to the scene as it was "not safe".
Oh isn't that bloody wonderful?, we are not allowed to protect ourselves as it is the State's job and when some maniac is gunning us down Plod won't turn up as it isn't "safe". At least the inquiry gives the Rozzers a bit of a kicking.
Posted by The Englishman at 10:50 PM
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September 28, 2004
We are ethnics and demand our rights!
Some of us in the English Countryside are feeling a bit bruised and put upon with it being an open season to insult and discriminate against us. If 1% of the derogatory comments made against us had been made against Jews or Muslims the outrage would have been immense.(Imagine Prescott raving against the "contorted faces" of Jews and their barbaric Kosher killing...)
I have always had problems filling in the race question of forms - not approving of them and wondering should I put Black, White or whatever - so I thought I would look up the official guidance:
http://www.statistics.gov.uk/about/ethnic_group_statistics/downloads/ethnic_group_statistics.pdf
"Is a persons ethnic group self-defined?
Yes. Membership of an ethnic group is something that is subjectively
meaningful to the person concerned, and this is the principal basis for ethnic categorisation in the United Kingdom. So, in ethnic group
questions, we are unable to base ethnic identification upon objective,
quantifiable information as we would, say, for age or gender. And this
means that we should rather ask people which group they see themselves
as belonging to."
"an ethnic group would be defined as a community whose
heritage offers important characteristics in common between its
members and which makes them distinct from other communities.
There is a boundary, which separates us from them, and the distinction would probably be recognised on both sides of that boundary."
"The Race Relations (Amendment) Act 2000 guards against discrimination and gives public authorities a general duty to monitor policy and service delivery for different ethnic groups. This duty encourages the collection of statistical data on ethnicity to assess the likely impact of services and policies on different ethnic groups
and to monitor any adverse impact."
Well that settles it: I think it is obvious that us traditional countryfolk have a different "heritage" to the urban elite and the evidence is clear that there is a clear "them and us". We are our own Ethnic Minority, all we have to do is "self-define". So now I want my rights, how do we go about this?
And what do we call the minority? The guidance acknowledges that groups change and so there can be no objection to a new Ethnic Group self-defining itself.
"Membership of any ethnic group is something that is subjectively meaningful to the person concerned and the terminology used to describe ethnic groups has changed markedly over time. As a result,
ethnic groups, however defined or measured, will tend
to evolve depending upon social and political attitudes
or developments. Therefore, we do not believe that basing
ethnic identification upon an objective and rigid classifi-
cation of ethnic groups is practicable."
As a start I have drafted a letter to my Local Rozzers - any help in fine tuning it would be welcome, and please use it as a basis if you feel the same.
To The Chief Constable of Wiltshire
Police Headquarters
London Road
Devizes
Wilts
Dear Sir
I am suffering continued harassment because of my membership of an Ethnic Minority and am appealing to you for help is stopping this and preventing any reoccurrence.
As you will be aware official guidance (a copy can be found at http://www.statistics.gov.uk/about/ethnic_group_statistics/downloads/ethnic_group_statistics.pdf ) states that a persons ethnic group is self-defined. And that
"an ethnic group would be defined as a community whose
heritage offers important characteristics in common between its
members and which makes them distinct from other communities.
There is a boundary, which separates us from them, and the distinction would probably be recognised on both sides of that boundary."
I think it is obvious that us traditional countryfolk have a different "heritage" to the urban elite and the evidence is clear that there is a clear "them and us". We are our own Ethnic Minority. We are feeling a bit bruised and put upon with it being an open season to insult and discriminate against us. If 1% of the derogatory comments made against us had been made against Jews or Muslims the outrage would have been immense. (For instance, imagine John Prescott MP raving against the "contorted faces" of Jews and their barbaric Kosher killing...). My belief is that he is part of a conspiracy that is stirring up race hate against an ethnic minority I fully realise the seriousness of this charge and do not make it lightly. I therefore ask you to make sure this is investigated fully.
I am making this letter public and will assume all replies can also be made public unless you specifically request otherwise.
Yours Sincerely
Posted by The Englishman at 10:53 PM
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September 23, 2004
Conkers
BBC NEWS | England | Tyne | Fury at lopped down conker trees
A council has provoked anger over plans to fell 25-year-old conker trees to stop children hurting themselves.
"Initially I understood the concerns over health and safety, but this is just common sense gone out the window.
"This has happened because we live in such a blame culture and people are afraid of being sued if someone gets injured."
Reminds me - must order another forty Conker (Horse Chestnut) trees to complete the avenue down to the village this winter...
Posted by The Englishman at 6:11 AM
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September 16, 2004
Sacked again
Star's PR man takes sacking in his stride
GEOFF Baker from All Cannings, near Devizes, has taken his sacking as public relations man for pop superstar Sir Paul McCartney philosophically.
"The major problem was that Heather felt Geoff was a bad influence on Paul. She did not agree with the rock'n'roll lifestyle and she knew Geoff was always sneaking off for a spliff. She didn't want Paul to indulge in that sort of lifestyle."
Sorry - you marry Paul McCartney and you don't want him to indulge in a Rock and Roll lifestyle! What did you think he did for a living?
Posted by The Englishman at 12:45 PM
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Old Media Rules
In the light of the Old Media Blackout of a story - "much too sensitive to let the people know" it is worthwhile linking to the best practice guidelines:
Reporting Suicide - Guidelines
Sensitive reporting saves lives
Not all suicides are newsworthy. But when they are, it is less likely that others will attempt to take their own lives if media professionals handle the stories responsibly.
I presume the same goes for attempted suicides as well.
Posted by The Englishman at 9:23 AM
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August 31, 2004
What would you do?
I updated my machine to XP service pack 2 yesterday, and it now is trying to protect me from harm: This warning came up this morning:
(Oh and I have some Gmail invites to give out if anyone needs one.)
Posted by The Englishman at 9:42 AM
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August 18, 2004
Hot water
Scotsman.com News - Sci-Tech - Scot to lead study into rising acidity of oceans
A SCOTTISH scientist is to lead a major investigation into the threat to marine life being posed by the rising acidity of the world's oceans, caused by pollution from greenhouse gases.
Translation: "Darling, wonderful news, my job is safe, we got some new money into the department and what is better I, sorry dear we, have got to go to check out the life on coral reefs and sandy beaches all over the world - all paid for. Of course the study will be inconclusive and is bound to need "more research", so I think I'll be alright until my pension starts."
Posted by The Englishman at 6:26 AM
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August 16, 2004
The future is vege...
The BBC reports:
Hungry world 'must eat less meat'
World water supplies will not be enough for our descendants to enjoy the sort of diet the West eats now, experts say.
The World Water Week in Stockholm will be told the growth in demand for meat and dairy products is unsustainable
whereas the same debate and arguments delivered at a UN development summit in New York in April said the same but also pushed GM crops to conserve water. I wonder why the BBC prefered to try and turn us Vege rather than suggest that GM crops and technology might be the answer?
Posted by The Englishman at 6:59 AM
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Devolved NHS - again
BBC NEWS | Wales | Welsh NHS 'worse since devolution'
Parts of the health service in Wales, including waiting lists, have got worse since devolution... but don't worry because Welsh Health Minister, Jane Hutt, is in charge "we've got health inequalities, that has to be at the front of my agenda."
No Dear, making ill people better is what you should be concentrating on, or is that what "health ineqaulities" are; "Sorry I can't come in top work today I have a stinking health inequalituy". What is the Welsh for Prat?
Posted by The Englishman at 6:50 AM
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August 13, 2004
NHS safe in their hands?
Times Online - Newspaper Edition
ONE in ten patients admitted to NHS hospitals will fall victim to medical errors, which have now become Britain's fourth-biggest killer.
Medical accidents and errors contribute to the deaths of 72,000 people a year, and they are directly blamed for 40,000. They also cost the NHS 2 billion in increased hospital stays alone.
However, fewer than a third of an estimated 900,000 annual mistakes are properly reported, an independent audit reveals today.
Posted by The Englishman at 2:47 PM
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Keep your hands off my kids.
Telegraph | Opinion | Why Labour wants to nationalise parenting
Margaret Hodge, the minister for children, is quietly extending her empire to embrace parents, too. In a green paper due out next month, she proposes to teach millions of mothers and fathers how to bring up their children by sending them to parenting classes at public expense.
Such classes can already be made compulsory for parents of truants and thugs. But Mrs Hodge has noticed that middle-class families are rarely summoned before the courts to be reformed in this way. So she plans to spend vast sums of taxpayers' money on a mass programme of re-education.
1) With Margaret Hodge's record ( see extended entry) I wouldn't trust her to see my kids safely over a road.
2) Fuck off, just fuck off. They are our kids not the Governments.
3) Long personal anecdotes deleted - I have had my fill of the caring professions slipping from the helping to the controlling.
Quick example - Physio suggested on a home visit that a hand rail by the front door would be a good idea. Her suggestion that she sent a report to the Social Services who would allocate it as a task and get a contractor to fit one... I asked where she ought to go? "Why?" "Well wouldn't it be quicker and easier if I fitted one myself?" Sheer amazment I might want to do something for my daughter myself - "but if the social do it it is free". Free to me (not to the taxpayer), maybe if you don't count the cost of becoming part of the dependency culture.
From Melanie Phillips:
When Margaret Hodge was made Minister for Children in June, a lot of people could scarcely believe what was happening.
For it was Mrs Hodge who, as leader of Islington council from 1982 to 1992, spectacularly failed to deal with a paedophile ring abusing children in her councils care. Heavily criticised for presiding over lethal chaos and a climate of intimidation in the town hall , she later tried to pass the buck onto her officials, claiming to have known nothing about the abuse at the time a version of events her former staff have vehemently contested.
With such a grossly inadequate record in local government, anyone with a smidgin of shame would have quietly bowed out of public life altogether. Making a person with such a history Minister for Children instead was therefore a bit like having the late Robert Maxwell made Governor of the Bank of England.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:52 AM
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August 12, 2004
My sort of Reader writes.
Some time ago I wrote about Long Cecil the remarkable Gun made in Kimberley during the Siege.
"Labram had noticed a billet of steel, 3 metres in length, ordered originally as shafting for one of the workshop machines, which was lying in the workshop yard. As it had a diameter of almost 28 cm it occurred to him that a fairly large calibre gun might be made from it. There were no books on gun-making in Kimberley but he remembered attending a lecture given some years previously by Sir William Anderson on the engineering aspects of the subject.
After 24 days continuous work, much of it under shellfire (one or two direct hits had been scored on the workshops and there seem to have been several near-misses), gun and carriage were completed on 18 January 1900."
Go read the rest..
A comment appeared today:
Sir
I have built a half scale muzzle loading model of long cecil.She has a weight of about one ton. I have managed to aquire the material to fabricate a full scale barrel.I intend to fabricate a life size, firing replica of the gun, while keeping within our legal requirements, and will do the best I can with the information available.
I am hoping you can identify the wheels used in the original guns construction.I am of the opinion they must be of european origin,however that is just a guess.
I am currently keeping busy on other projects,as this gun is too big to build by myself,and the U.S.Army has currently stationed my son in Iraq,with the queens royal lancers, so this project will have to wait until he returns.
Any information on the wheels would be greatly appreciated.I look forward to your reply.
thank you very much
David L. Bell
email generalgorloff@aol.com
Wow, some one must be able to help him. Kim?
Posted by The Englishman at 10:03 PM
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August 11, 2004
Hormesis
Compare and contrast what the readers of the essential Number watch read in February 2003:
"major scares have been generated by the fallacious extrapolation from high doses to low ones. In reality it can often be demonstrated that low doses of toxic substances and radiations can have beneficial effects (hormesis). Jaworowski gives examples in the case of ionising radiation where authors have ignored clear hormetic effects in their own results. The fact is that small doses of radiation are good for you. The evidence is overwhelming (over 1000 scientific publications). Even back in the Manhattan Project in 1943 it was found that animals exposed to radiation lived longer and had more offspring than uncontaminated controls. Yet all this has been ignored by the regulatory authorities. "Today the BBC reports:
BBC NEWS | Health | Low level radiation 'no danger'
The widely held view that even low levels of radiation damage health has no basis in hard science, a leading expert has said.
Professor Zbigniew Jaworowski, former chairman of a United Nations committee on radiation effects, believes low levels may even be beneficial.
He told the BBC Today programme: "Low levels of radiation are probably essential for life itself."
However, the National Radiological Protection Board rejected the claim.
...
Dr Michael Clarke, of the NRPB, said the scientific consensus was that low level radiation probably did pose a small risk to health.
"The consensus is that every little bit does a little bit of harm, and you extrapolate from what you can see at high doses, down to low doses.
"A small exposure gives you a very small risk. Maybe over the years more science will show that DNA repair mechanisms are stimulated by low level radiation, but it is not clear at the moment."
However, Dr Clarke accepted that there was little hard evidence that low radiation levels do damage health, but he said it was difficult to tease out the effect from all the other potentially damaging factors."
In other words, my job depends on peddling junk science...
Posted by The Englishman at 8:45 PM
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August 5, 2004
Filthy NHS part 567
A patient who died after treatment at a cancer hospital in Bristol has arranged to pay for its filthy windows to be cleaned for the first time in seven years.
No comment needed.
Posted by The Englishman at 5:05 PM
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July 28, 2004
Preparing for Emergencies
Preparing for Emergencies - Homepage
If you find yourself in the middle of an emergency, your common sense and instincts will usually tell you what to do. However, it is important to:
Run.
Really, really fast.
Follow the advice of the emergency services, unless that advice is something other than "Run".
Try to remain calm and think before acting, and try to reassure others. Or, trample them in a desperate attempt to flee as the building you're in is consumed by a radioactive cloud.
Check for injuries. Here's a hint: if it's painful, it's probably injured. However, hurting when you pee is probably not an injury related to the incident. But get yourself checked out anyway.
If you are not involved in the incident, but are close by or believe you may be in danger, in most cases the advice is:
Run.
Whoops that isn't the real one - this is
Preparing for Emergencies - Homepage which is nearly as funny.
I think I prefer the first one, especially as this was received within twelve hours of the site going online:
Dear Mr Scott,
Regarding your website, www.preparingforemergencies.co.uk
We run the Government website for the Preparing for Emergencies public information campaign, on www.preparingforemergencies.gov.uk, and are very concerned that the material on your site will confuse people about the sensitive advice and information that we are giving to the public.
This is a very is [sic] serious campaign that should not be trivialised. In the interests of helping people to cope in the event of a crisis or a disaster we would ask that you to take down the site, immediately, and not put it up again in another guise.
Sincerely,
[name removed]
I think my preparations are coming along, what else do I need?
Posted by The Englishman at 10:25 AM
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July 27, 2004
Advice for kids
Bad News Hughes as updated his advice for children...
Posted by The Englishman at 3:12 PM
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One to watch
The Salisbury Pages
Governments should do nothing, for where they do anything they invariably get it wrong." Lord Salisbury, British Prime Minister 1885-86 1886-92 1895-1902 A site dedicated to the virtues of small government, democracy, the market place and the ancient rights of the freeborn English Yeoman.
Sounds like my sort of site - looks good and the writer is an NHS theatre nurse so some interesting stuff on the NHS from behind the lines.
Posted by The Englishman at 3:01 PM
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July 23, 2004
Today's work
Where is a Gray Monk when you need one?
Image taken on 23/7/2004 11:41
Posted by The Englishman at 10:43 AM
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July 6, 2004
This week's reading.
The book has arrived from John at Number Watch:
The epidemiologists
Have they got scares for you!
By John Brignell
A quick skim and I already want to throw things at the Bogusmongers. I am not sure why the papers still print the rubbsih scares as everyone now disbelieves them don't they? Go and have a look at http://www.numberwatch.co.uk and then discuss the Government's anti-salt anti-fat anti-passive smoking anti-fun campaigns.
Posted by The Englishman at 11:31 AM
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July 5, 2004
Beams and Motes
BBC NEWS | Politics | Doctors urge public smoking ban
Letters from 4,500 doctors calling for a ban on smoking in workplaces are being delivered to the prime minister.
How about a petition to tell Doctors and Nurses to wash their bloody hands and make sure their hospitals are clean - other news today " John Reid, the Health Secretary, has announced a fresh drive to combat the superbug MRSA which is estimated to kill 5,000 people in the NHS annually. ..."
Posted by The Englishman at 6:28 AM
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July 3, 2004
A different set of slaves
The Gray Monk has a fascinating history of a small slaving operation:
..the slaver raids on Cornwall and the North Devon coast in the 17th and early 18th Centuries. These were Barbary Pirates who were based mainly at Sal near Rabat in Morocco. At one point they had occupied Lundy Island and flew the flag of Islam there while they made free capturing ships and crews and raiding the coastal harbours and villages for women and children as slaves.
So that is Africans coming to Britain to enslave whites, how does that fit in with the PC history we are all taught now?
Posted by The Englishman at 10:41 PM
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Excusing the inexcuable.
Slavery: Justification for Blacks Beating their Children to Death?
The boy's autopsy showed he had been abused over a lengthy period and had suffered brain injury, a broken neck, broken ribs, and scores of whip marks all over his body. When shown the boy's autopsy photos, DeGruy-Leary said the injury pattern "falls in the rubric" of "normal" for descendants of slaves.
Slave owners beat their slaves, says attorney Randall Vogt. Therefore, it's "justified" for black men to beat their sons. Vogt is defending Isaac Cortez Bynum, who beat his 2-year-old son to death, and says he'll use a "post traumatic slave syndrome" defense.
Posted by The Englishman at 9:58 AM
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June 27, 2004
Spot the difference.
"Your body belongs to the nation!" "You have the duty to be healthy!" "Food is not a private matter!"
"Sport can help to improve education and pave the way for integration. Accordingly, it can and must be made an integral part of the process of building up European citizenship."
Posted by The Englishman at 7:41 AM
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June 24, 2004
Great!
From Gun Culture
This helpful criminal believes shopkeepers should be allowed to defend themselves so much, that he gives the shopkeeper his gun!
Posted by The Englishman at 10:17 PM
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June 20, 2004
Le Cafe Anglais
Nice to see the Ancient English enjoyed the odd elephant for a Sunday afternoon BBQ BBC NEWS | England | Kent | Stone Age elephant remains found
I'm not sure that they cooked it, which according to my Larousse Gastronomique would be a mistake - it recommends that as the meat is tough but tasty it should be cooked for 15 hours or hung for a long time in the open air (how you hang an elephant is not explained, I would have thought it should be drawn first and trunk down). The feet and trunk are of the greatest culinary interest: their flesh which is muscular and gelatinous resembles ox tongue.
During the Prussian siege of Paris in 1870. The people grew so hungry that they ate the animals from the Jardin des Plantes, including two beloved young elephants called Castor and Pollux.
Le Cafe Anglais offered braised elephant's feet with ham, garlic, spices and Madiera, and one butcher sold elephant blood pudding.
Off to warm up the BBQ - a pound of Gloucester Old Spot sausages await as I have no Elephants handy.
Posted by The Englishman at 11:54 AM
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June 9, 2004
Mr Free Market will like this..
These pages are intended for a serious examination of the subject of terminal ballistics as it applies to the hunter (principally). Necessarily, some of the details of the discussion involve matters which some minds may regard as gruesome, possibly even disturbing. While there are no graphic depictions of wounds on this site and its associated pages, the effects of bullets are discussed in graphic (albeit scientific) terms. Anyone who finds the whole subject of hunting and guns to be unsettling may well want to depart without perusing the contents of this site. I accept no responsibility whatsoever for any psychological traumas, mishaps, misfortunes, or bad karma alleged to result from viewing this site, whether real, imaginary or pretended. On the other hand... if one's mind is not frozen in prejudice (or alternatively, absorbed by perverse morbidity), then I would invite newcomers to the world of sport hunting to examine these pages and discover the non-sensationalized real face of modern hunting. I hold very high ethical standards and one will find that ethics is a recurring theme on this site.
Posted by The Englishman at 5:02 PM
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May 26, 2004
Mobile phone on the forecourt
I just got the chain email letter:
Subject: FW: very important information
> Shell Oil Co. Announcement
> Importance: High
>
> The Shell Oil Company recently issued a warning after three incidents in
>which mobile phones (cell phones) ignited fumes during fuelling operations.
My reply...
With the greatest respect the email about the danger of phones is rubbish, absolute tosh, should be ignored etc.
The truth is that there is NO recorded incidence of mobile phones causing a fire at petrol station, though there is a chance that when one was dropped in Australia the metal casing caused a spark, which is nothing to do with it being a phone, a cigarette case would have been just as dangerous.
As ever with email warnings the excellent Snopes site provides a reference and a link to Shell's denial of the warning.
see: Urban Legends Reference Pages: Automobiles (Fuelish Pleasures)
What we have is the madness of the Moonbat's Precautionary principle, because it is impossible to prove there may never ever be a problem , BAN IT, what ever the cost to society.
And don't get me started on the mobile phone ban in Hospitals - they have never caused a problem - what started as a precautionary ban ( against all common sense ) has now become enshrined as hospitals force patients to pay through the nose for bedside phones and the hospital shares the revenue. It is a shakedown enforced by the feebleminded.
Regards
Tim
Posted by The Englishman at 10:29 PM
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Good news for art lovers.
BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Arts | Fire decimates Saatchi collection
"an appalling tragedy for the history of contemporary art"
Nope, it sounds more like the final act in an elaborate .... which ....... has been pulling for a while.... traditional garment trade practices... buy wholesale,sell retail... over... valuation... stock... last year's fashion.... Benny.... matches... warehouse... fire... insurance... cash... happily ever after.
Posted by The Englishman at 10:37 AM
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May 14, 2004
One for the Blogroll
Welcome to The Commons
Named in honor of the concept of The Tragedy of The Commons, this blog is dedicated to showing how environmental quality is best defended by free markets and property rights. The authors are all experts in free market environmentalism and bring many different areas of expertise to this common space.
If comments are invited, please remember you are a guest on private property. We shall defend the environmental quality of this blog as staunchly as we would defend any stream, forest or animal we own.
That is my sort of language - good luck guys.
Posted by The Englishman at 8:54 PM
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May 12, 2004
Let us pray..
Mr Free Market is worried about Clause 4.28 of the CRE Statutory Doobrie on Workplace Whatsits which will make it compulsory to :
Equal access will often mean finding ways of allowing workers to balance their personal commitments & obligations with their responsibilities & duties as workers. This applies both to obligations involving religious observance & to the obligations parents & carers have. Both may need time off work. The law now recognises, both workers & employers can benefit from greater flexibility over the working day & holiday arrangements, and it should not be difficult to reach an accommodation about these had other needs, such as observance of dress codes, and a quiet place to reflect & pray.
I think the answer is to sign up: Become an Ordained Minister of the Beer Church - and then demand a quiet room to perform my religous duties - say five times a day facing the Wadworth Brewery - it should be quite cheap to set out the room , a bar, footrail, sacred foods such as Pork Scratchings on display and of course Beer; or else we could pop next door to the local Beer Temple..
Posted by The Englishman at 10:03 AM
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May 11, 2004
Hospitals
Having ranted about the state of another Bristol hospital, it was with trepidation we went down to another Bristol Hospital -Frenchay yesterday. The clinic we went to is housed in an old TB hospital opened in 1921, which was then converted into an Emergency Hospital for American trrops in 1942. The outside of some of the wards is a bit scruffy, as you might expect after such a long history - and it is quite obvious that some of the wartime buildings were built quickly rather than carefully. But inside they were clean, tidy, efficient and friendly. Just goes to show it isn't the buildings but the staff that goes to make a good hospital. Anyway, I hope it is good all the way through as it looks like the Heir might have to have a replacement cranioplasty as the acrylic and titanium mesh patch he has might be breaking down and causing headaches - which is a bit worrying. It seems they are moving back to pure titanium plates again, (the technology for making them is fascinating - 3D scans and computer controlled milling) and maybe he will start setting off metal detectors at airports, which he thinks would be fun!
Posted by The Englishman at 9:07 AM
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May 5, 2004
Berkley Square Health Warning:
Then:
That certain night, the night we met
There was magic abroad in the air
There were angels dining at the ritz
And a nightingale sang in Berkley Square
..
How could he know we two were so in love,
The whole darn world seemed upside down.
The streets of town were paved with stars,
It was such a romantic affair.
And as we kissed and said goodnight,
A nightingale sang in Berkley Square.
Now:
"A nightingale next to your ear would cause severe damage to your ear for a prolonged length of time," Henrik Brumm, a behavioural biologist at the Free University in Berlin, said. "In Germany, you are obliged to wear ear protection with more than 85 decibels for more than one hour, so working next to a nightingale means you would have to have protection."
Posted by The Englishman at 9:24 AM
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April 13, 2004
DDT - why Africa needs it
I have blogged before about how DDT is essential for Malaria control in Africa, and how the demonization of it is killing people. Here is an extract from the NYT that is well worth reading - go on line and register for free at the site to get the full story - (more also at the Cato institute)
The New York Times > Magazine > What the World Needs Now Is DDT
what really merits outrage about DDT today is not that South Africa still uses it, as do about five other countries for routine malaria control and about 10 more for emergencies. It is that dozens more do not. Malaria is a disease Westerners no longer have to think about. Independent malariologists believe it kills two million people a year, mainly children under 5 and 90 percent of them in Africa. Until it was overtaken by AIDS in 1999, it was Africa's leading killer. One in 20 African children dies of malaria, and many of those who survive are brain-damaged. Each year, 300 to 500 million people worldwide get malaria.
During the rainy season in some parts of Africa, entire villages of people lie in bed, shivering with fever, too weak to stand or eat. Many spend a good part of the year incapacitated, which cripples African economies. A commission of the World Health Organization found that malaria alone shrinks the economy in countries where it is most endemic by 20 percent over 15 years. There is currently no vaccine. While travelers to malarial regions can take prophylactic medicines, these drugs are too toxic for long-term use for residents.
Yet DDT, the very insecticide that eradicated malaria in developed nations, has been essentially deactivated as a malaria-control tool today. The paradox is that sprayed in tiny quantities inside houses -- the only way anyone proposes to use it today -- DDT is most likely not harmful to people or the environment. Certainly, the possible harm from DDT is vastly outweighed by its ability to save children's lives.
o one concerned about the environmental damage of DDT set out to kill African children. But various factors, chiefly the persistence of DDT's toxic image in the West and the disproportionate weight that American decisions carry worldwide, have conspired to make it essentially unavailable to most malarial nations. With the exception of South Africa and a few others, African countries depend heavily on donors to pay for malaria control. But at the moment, there is only one country in the world getting donor money to finance the use of DDT: Eritrea, which gets money for its program from the World Bank with the understanding that it will look for alternatives. Major donors, including the United States Agency for International Development, or Usaid, have not financed any use of DDT, and global health institutions like W.H.O. and its malaria program, Roll Back Malaria, actively discourage countries from using it.
Posted by The Englishman at 8:43 PM
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April 11, 2004
Going Green
I was pleased to see this driver uses eco friendly green batteries
Image taken on 11/4/2004 19:09And what is he driving?
A medium sized crop sprayer -
(note 'Pollo the dog getting in on the picture).
Posted by The Englishman at 7:12 PM
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March 26, 2004
Yummy Health tip
Ananova - Top doc backs picking your nose and eating it
Picking your nose and eating it is one of the best ways to stay healthy, according to a top Austrian doctor.
Innsbruck-based lung specialist Prof Dr Friedrich Bischinger said people who pick their noses with their fingers were healthy, happier and probably better in tune with their bodies.
He says society should adopt a new approach to nose-picking and encourage children to take it up.
Dr Bischinger said: "With the finger you can get to places you just can't reach with a handkerchief, keeping your nose far cleaner.
"And eating the dry remains of what you pull out is a great way of strengthening the body's immune system.
"Medically it makes great sense and is a perfectly natural thing to do. In terms of the immune system the nose is a filter in which a great deal of bacteria are collected, and when this mixture arrives in the intestines it works just like a medicine.
"Modern medicine is constantly trying to do the same thing through far more complicated methods, people who pick their nose and eat it get a natural boost to their immune system for free."
He pointed out that children happily pick their noses, yet by the time they have become adults they have stopped under pressure from a society that has branded it disgusting and anti social.
He said: "I would recommend a new approach where children are encouraged to pick their nose. It is a completely natural response and medically a good idea as well."
And he pointed out that if anyone was really worried about what their neighbour was thinking, they could still enjoy picking their nose in private if they still wanted to get the benefits it offered.
Posted by The Englishman at 5:23 PM
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March 20, 2004
Libertarian Challange
I consider myself to be a right on libertarian. People should have the freedom to take responsibility for their own lives and if they fuck it up; tough.
But a few years ago I spent some time visiting a NICU unit, where premature babies are coaxed into life. Half the parents were nice people, showing that shit happens to nice people. The other half were scum. Their babies were in NICU because they took drugs, drank, generally fucked about. I remember one father who was seen as a model parent because he spent all day with his child: maybe the tattoo "I hate Jews" on the back of his hand stopped him getting a job, I don't know, I'm only guessing.
There was one baby who screamed for 24 hours a day, because, I was told, she was experiencing withdrawal from the heroin her mother took through out the pregnancy. The family unit, feckless mum and dad and poor baby were allocated a private room so social services could assess them.
My thoughts were that both of them should be assessed with the rough end of a baseball bat and the child rescued from what was obviously going to be a life of grime. But that is illiberal, so what is the correct response?
Posted by The Englishman at 1:18 AM
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March 17, 2004
DHMO alert
Slashdot | City Officials Almost Ban Foam Cups
"The city of Aliso Viejo, CA nearly banned foam cups when they learned they are produced from a substance known as 'dihydrogen monoxide.' A paralegal working for the city apparantly found a professionally designed web site put up to describe the dangerous properties of this chemical.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:56 AM
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March 11, 2004
Meat and Pies every meal
...the Amish diet chiefly consists of meat, potatoes, gravy, cakes, pies and eggs; they also eat fresh fruit and vegetables with every meal. They ingest about 3,600 calories daily, 50 per cent more than the general population.
Yet, despite a diet rich in fat and refined sugar and high in calories, the Amish have extremely low rates of heart disease and cancer....
And Kelly McGillis washing up... bliss.
Posted by The Englishman at 10:02 AM
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March 10, 2004
More Glasgow colon news
If you are bored of your Gameboy and Microsoft Flight Simulator no longer interests you, how about this from Glasgow - Bovine Rectal Palpation Simulator?
Posted by The Englishman at 9:48 AM
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March 9, 2004
Tories chase Mr Free Market's Vote
BBC NEWS | Scotland | Children 'should get gun lessons'
A member of the shadow cabinet has attacked the ban on handguns introduced after the Dunblane massacre.
Conservative homeland security spokesman Patrick Mercer described the move as "nonsense".
Instead, Mr Mercer said some children in rural areas should be trained to handle and therefore respect dangerous firearms.
You can fill in the usual howls of protest yourself.
Posted by The Englishman at 9:47 AM
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March 8, 2004
NO further Exports will be made from the UK
Here's an example of how the Govt destroys business:
A small firm that specialises in Genuine Ferguson and Patern parts and repairs restorations for Ferguson Tractors has just announced on their website that:
NO further Exports will be made from the UK
Non-UK orders will no longer be accepted
Any payments made from outside the UK, will be refunded minus 7% administration charge
All paid orders placed prior to 03/03/2004 will be honoured
Exports are about 1/3rd of their business, so why are they stopping..
We've been having some fun here. We think ofourselves as a small business and get on as quietly as we can with our work. The dti, however,inform us that parts we sell could, concievably,be used to make a tractor work that could then be used to deliver a WMD. Now, unlikely as this may seem to you and I, we have to respect the powers that be. We, therefore, have been encouraged to obtain an Export Licence because about 1/3rd of what we sell,we export. If we did,we would then be responsible to ensure that we believe that our parts will not be used on a (or to deliver a) WMD. TOO MUCH! Not my job and NO, No, and thrice NO.
The next crack is that for goods exported to some places, we can charge no VAT, provided that we can prove the goods have left the UK. They won't tell us if a reciept from the P.O. is sufficient proof (let's face it, how many goods go somewhere unknown to the sender?). For goods exported to other places, we should charge VAT. For yet other situations, we must obtain verification of the VAT number of the person to whom we supply goods in EU countries. The extra accounting costs seem to us to amount to as much as the saving to our customers. Who's going to pay that bill? NOT US!
THEREFORE, because of the 2 issues raised, above, NO FURTHER GOODS WILL BE EXPORTED BY US FROM THE UK.
We apologise to our valued and much liked and cared-for non-UK customers.
Posted by The Englishman at 2:06 PM
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Inject Sense
The Inject Sense blog is gathering speed.
"Inject Sense aims to increase the MMR take-up rate, by debunking popular myths surrounding the vaccination. "
I urge you to visit.
Posted by The Englishman at 12:53 PM
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March 3, 2004
Don't buy Green Bananas..
What does it mean if a test for some disease is "95% accurate"? Does it mean that, if you test positive, you have a 95% chance of having the disease. While this sounds sensible, the answer is usually "no." The actual probability depends not only on the reliability of the test, but also the number of infections in the population to begin with. This applet demonstrates this idea.
Game Theory and Business Strategy: Bayes Rule Applet
Posted by The Englishman at 11:30 AM
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Kids too fat
BBC NEWS | Health | Demand grows for junk food ad ban.
More than 100 of the UK's top health and consumer groups have signed up to a campaign to have junk food ads banned.
I actually read the report "There is a crisis in childrens health. In his 2002 Annual Report on the state of health of the nation, the Chief Medical Officer warned that obesity is a health time bomb All for "the children", salt , fat, sugar, unhealthy....But what they really really hate is that food is sold for "profit" and "commercial reasons". The report is full of weasel words, no real science and is exactly the sort of thing this Nanny state will introduce.
Posted by The Englishman at 6:45 AM
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March 2, 2004
Honi soit qui mal y pense
Telegraph | News | Jack and Jill in single mother shock
It is enough to make most parents blush with embarrassment.
Britain's most popular nursery rhymes, recited by generations of parents to their children, are teeming with references to bed-hopping royals and teenage sex, according to a book on the origins of 24 playground ditties.
While Jack and Jill may seem innocuous enough in their attempt to fetch water, they are in fact preoccupied with losing their virginity, says Chris Roberts, a social historian who has traced the adult stories behind the nursery rhymes. Jill possibly becomes pregnant and there are regrets later.
"The interesting bit is that, having successfully 'lost his crown', it's Jack who runs off rapidly - probably to tell his mates what happened," said Mr Roberts, 37, author of Heavy Words Lightly Thrown.
In an alternative second verse, the sexual association of the rhyme becomes more blatant. Instead of his head, Jack has a different part of his anatomy patched up with vinegar and brown paper.
The rhyme "Goosey, goosey gander, where do you wander? Upstairs and downstairs and in my lady's chamber" can be read as alluding to the spread of venereal disease - known as "goose bumps" because of the swelling.
It also tackles a row between Henry VIII and the Catholic Church, which owned the land upon which brothels were operating and profited hugely.
Mr Roberts, a librarian at East London University, said his book came out of research he undertook for a series of walking tours around London.
While people already know that Ring a Ring o' Roses refers to the rash displayed by sufferers at the time of the Great Plague, it is less well known that Oranges and Lemons, a guide to the City of London, doubles as a lewd wedding song, he said.
The line "here comes a candle to light you to bed", for example, is an apparent reference to the bride tempting her new bridegroom, while "here comes a chopper to chop off your head" alludes to the woman losing her virginity, or "maiden head"......
Posted by The Englishman at 10:09 AM
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February 27, 2004
Don't panic
BBC NEWS | Health | Oral sex linked to mouth cancer
Some cases of mouth cancer could be caused by a virus contracted during oral sex, scientists have warned. ...
Experts say heavy smoking or drinking causes most mouth cancers, but the HPV link could help explain why some young adults develop the rare disease.
But they stressed people did not need to alter their behaviour.
Well alter as in "increase" might be OK - as Bill Hicks said if men could give themselves oral sex, all the women in the audience would be sat on their own watching an empty stage.
But if this persistant tickle in the back of my throat proves to be something other than a sore throat I would just like to blame the smoke and drink, OK?
Posted by The Englishman at 11:25 AM
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Bangers
Mr Free Market suggests I should be sending Pork Aid to America and ship them some sausages.
The BBC worries that Sausage survey shows salt threat
The great British banger may threaten our health - by containing far too much salt, say watchdogs.
A survey of dozens of makes and brands by the Food Standards Agency found that most have levels which make it hard for consumers to stick to daily limits.
High intakes of salt have been linked with an increased risk of heart disease and stroke.
Of course we know better than to worry about Salt don't we thanks to Numberwatch though of course the evidence won't stop the health Nazis ..."Across the UK, about 34,000 people will die through high salt consumption, said the charity."
Now back to my Marmite Crisps (0.2g Sodium per pack), yum!.
Posted by The Englishman at 11:04 AM
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February 25, 2004
Little shits
The Times Online - Newspaper Edition reports
A DOG owner has made a formal complaint after being threatened with arrest and fined 50 because she failed to spot her Jack Russell leaving a small souvenir on a north Devon beach.
Four police cars were dispatched after a dog warden caught Camilla Sharpe's terrier Molly in flagrante.
Mrs Sharpe, who was using a public lavatory at the time, failed to spot the incident.
She claims that she offered to clear up the mess but the warden had refused to even tell her where it was and insisted that she had to sign a piece of paper accepting the fine. When she refused, the warden called the police, who arrived moments later, sirens blaring.
Spot a burglar and one van might turn up the next day, so next time don't say you house is being broken into say a little dog is doing a poo-poo on a huge deserted beach! Priorities huh.
Posted by The Englishman at 5:00 PM
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February 16, 2004
Shaken, not stirred.
Make mine a 007...Introduction
We all know the line: "A medium-dry martini, shaken, not stirred." But the literary James Bond drank relatively few of the cocktails, seeming to prefer scotch or bourbon. The big screen version of 007 is just as likely to open a bottle of champagne.
This raises the question, what exactly does James Bond drink? That's the leitmotif behind this site. We'll examine each 007 book and movie, methodically compile the results and empirically prove our conclusions.
Posted by The Englishman at 2:19 PM
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February 9, 2004
I say Sulphur, you say Sulfur
The England Project is gathering moss - many moons ago I used to flog pesticides, passed the exams, had the secure store, the poisons licence so I could dish out the paraquat (I only had the level two licence so I had to get someone else to sell cyanide and Aluminium phosphide)
Ah, happy days!
Moss - a sulphur compound, iron sulphate for instance, upsets the little bugger - though iron sulphate will stain concrete, your hands and your clothes with rust. But it is cheap. Otherwise look for some lawn sand with it in.
Posted by The Englishman at 4:11 PM
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February 5, 2004
Blood suckers
Parking attendant is sticking to his guns
GAZETTE & HERALD EXCLUSIVE: OVERZEALOUS parking warden Mike Angell has remained defiant after giving a ticket to a blood donor van even though his bosses have apologised.
Kennet District Council said it was sorry after Mr Angell booked a Transit van belonging to the Blood Donor Service while it was parked outside the Corn Exchange in Devizes Market Place.
But Mr Angell said:
"We are used to getting flak from the public over the vehicles we book, so it is water off a duck's back to us."
Listen sunshine - if any business got so many complaints it didn't even bother listening to them then it would be in serious trouble. Ever thought the problem might be you, not the public?
Was it you or your colleague who booked a box of cauliflowers left outside while a Greengrocer set up his stall ? And what about Santa's car that got a ticket while it waited for the Old Boy to get on board! Full of the spirit of Xmas that day weren't you!
Posted by The Englishman at 10:12 PM
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Gatso got.
From The Sun
Vandals blow up a Gatso
A SPEED camera has been BLOWN UP on a road where four have now been destroyed.
Vandals strapped explosives to the Gatso in what is thought to be the first attack of its kind.
Army bomb experts were called after the detonation on the A37 at Emborough, Somerset.
Sir Elgar Jenkins, Bath and North East Somerset Council's transport boss, said he understood motorists' frustrations.
He said: "This attack is a reflection of the fact cameras are being spread all over the place."
Other cameras on the 21-mile route from Bristol to Wells have had burning petrol-soaked tyres hung round them.
The speed traps, costing 40,000 each, are run by Avon, Somerset and Gloucestershire Safety Camera Partnership.
Its spokesman Dick Bowen said he was "disappointed" by the attack.
You are very very naughty boys to have done that! You know they are only there for "Safety" and that means no one should dare question the policy behind them, or whether they do any good, apart from the revenue they raise.
(Does Texas have speed cameras? How long do they last?)
Posted by The Englishman at 10:04 PM
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Safety Nazis at work
BBC NEWS | England | Cornwall | End of line for Trevithick parade
The centrepiece of steam celebrations in Cornwall which remember Richard Trevithick as the 'father of the steam engine' have been cancelled this year because of safety concerns.
The Trevithick Day parade of steam engines and steam-driven cars through Camborne's main street draws thousands of people to the town.
But police have raised concerns about the parade on 24 April.
They fear someone could be seriously injured because the crowd is so close to some of the engines.
No mention of anyone ever being injured! Remember at the public opening of the first railway between Liverpool and Manchester which took place on the 15th of September, 1830 there was a fatal accident to Mr. Huskisson, one of the MPs for Liverpool. Did they ban the railway and hold an inquiry? No they got on with it and built an Empire.
Still I'm glad to see the Lads took it into their own hands last year - I would love to see the Rozzers trying to clamp a Steam Roller
But there were a number of breaches of a road closure order last year when barriers were removed to allow the steam engines through
Posted by The Englishman at 5:22 PM
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February 4, 2004
Tales from the NHS
BBC NEWS | Health | Office supplies 'used on patients'
Some doctors are using improvised equipment such as paperclips and clothes pegs to treat their patients, it is claimed.
...solutions - such as using wooden tongue depressors to splint the limbs of premature babies.
However, two babies died after picking up fungal infections from them.
Other examples of bad practice, claimed the MHRA, included the use of simple paperclips and urinary catheters as makeshift sutures to close surgical wounds, and using clothes pegs to attach monitoring equipment to a patient's earlobe.
Posted by The Englishman at 12:21 PM
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February 2, 2004
Treacle Danger
Every old larder cupboard in England has a tin of Lyle's Black Treacle in it. 
Like Golden Syrup it features the rotting Lion and the slogan "out of the strong came forth sweetness"
Every year the tin comes out and one spoon-full is used in the Christmas cake and occasionally Parkin is baked.
I pulled ours out yesterday to make a rich fruit cake and opened it with a small "pop" - and then noticed a best before date of June 2001. Fair enough, but it looked and smelt OK (it tastes horrible raw anyway so that was no test). And then I noticed the blood curdling warning on the side - "Do not open tins beyond the "best by" date, dispose of carefully, they may explode....." (I presume it may ferment.)
Lucky I'm still here I suppose, but I wonder what my local Bomb Disposal Operative will say when I ring to ask him to make safe a tin of treacle now sitting in the middle of the lawn.
Posted by The Englishman at 11:50 AM
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January 30, 2004
The Malaria Clock
The Greens and Eco-Imperialists are not just a bit annoying with their constant winging but are killing people on an unprecedented scale - one example is highlighted on Junkscience.com - the Main Page It is "The Malaria Clock" which shows an estimate of how many avoidable deaths the ban on DDT has and is causing.
Posted by The Englishman at 2:45 PM
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January 25, 2004
Infanticide
Let me bring you this from the Sunday Times
John Harris, a member of the Human Genetics Commission, told a parliamentary meeting last week that he did not see any moral difference in aborting a fully grown unborn baby at 40 weeks and committing infanticide.
..yesterday he was reported to have said that he did not think infanticide was always unjustifiable. He did not believe there was any moral change that occurred during the journey down the birth canal.
Harris, who also advises Britains doctors as a member of the British Medical Associations ethics committee, is said to have argued that there was no moral difference between terminating a foetus found by tests to have defects and one where the parents only discovered the abnormalities at birth.
Michael Wilkes, chairman of the BMA ethics committee, said Harris was simply trying to encourage logical and consistent argument. There are many who might concur that there is no difference between a full-term foetus and a newborn baby, although the majority would see there is a substantial difference. Abortion is legal but termination after birth is killing.
Interesting he is reported as presenting the argument that infanticide is OK because abortion is. I read his words the other way round - if it is wrong to kill children because they are "disabled" than I don't see the difference between that and a late term abortion for the same reasons, as he says, " He did not believe there was any moral change that occurred during the journey down the birth canal."
Posted by The Englishman at 3:40 PM
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January 22, 2004
Wiltshire Farming News
We took note of the Canadian's attempt to grow legal Cannabis ($7.5m to set up a dope farm, no hassle from the cops and they still can't grow a decent smoke - that's the government for you ) and now I notice that the UK government has awarded a local firm a licence to grow it at "Secret Locations" - and ship a derivative to Canada.
I'm sure us Wiltshire boys will deliver the goods, but as to keeping the locations secret, I'll ask round the back room of the Pub to see what news!
I was led to this story by Tory Leader M. Howard being widely reported as saying the Tories will reimpose the very naughty category instead of the slightly naughty category for the drug - in fact he said " It seems to me that there is absolutely no case for what is a massive muddle in the middle." and then went on to say it should either be legalised or the relaxation of the law should be reversed - but the second part of the quote has now disappeared from the BBC site so I can't give it to you word for word. It encapsulates the perennial Tory problem of trying to appeal to the Law & Order brigade as well as the Libertarians.
Posted by The Englishman at 4:00 PM
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Bastards
I look forward to going into the Greengrocer's and asking for for Arlingham Schoolboys or maybe some Hen's Turds apples or Shit Smock plums but unfortunately the Bloody Bastard pear probably no longer exists.
I am a great fan of using the word Bastard in its true sense of "half" as often as I can. I well remember an old slater calling down for a "Bastard Duchess" shocking the passerbys (see extended entry for Slate sizes and names). And when we were building an extension, the architect had designed a "Mezzanine" level, but the builder insisted on calling it the Bastard level. Still amuses me every time I see the sign at the council offices - "the Chief Executive's office is on the Mezzanine level".
Slate Sizes:
Wide Duchess
24 x 14
61.0 x 35.6 10.54
Duchess
24 x 12
61.0 x 30.5 12.31
Small Duchess
22 x 12
55.9 x 30.5 13.61
Marchioness
22 x 11
55.9 x 27.9 14.91
Wide Countess
20 x 12
50.8 x 30.5 15.21
Countess
20 x 10
50.8 x 25.4 18.24
18 x 12
45.7 x 30.5 17.22
Wide Viscountess
18 x 10
45.7 x 25.4 20.67
Viscountess
18 x 9
45.7 x 22.9 23.13
16 x 12
40.6 x 30.5 19.87
Wide Lady
16 x 10
40.6 x 25.4 23.85
Broad Lady
16 x 9
40.6 x 22.9 26.72
Lady
16 x 8
40.6 x 20.3 29.81
14 x 12
35.6 x 30.5 23.48
Header
14 x 10
35.6 x 25.4 28.18
Small Lady
14 x 8
35.6 x 20.3 35.23
Narrow Lady
14 x 7
35.6 x 17.8 40.79
Small Header
Posted by The Englishman at 2:27 PM
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January 21, 2004
A failure of common sense.
Settle down class!
Meadow, what is the odds of rolling a six on a die?
1/6
Right, what are the odds of rolling double six?
1/6 times 1/6 so 1/36 sir.
Correct.
Now I have rolled a six with this die, what are the odds of rolling a six again.
1/36
Meadow - you are a miserable worm - Tompkins, what is the answer?
1/6 again, sir, they are two unconnected events. Actually sir it might be a bit less as the die might have a propensity to roll sixes!
To accuse a mother of murdering or deliberately harming her children is about the most heinous accusation you can make. Over the last few days we have discovered that not just one or two women but hundreds of women have been accused, found guilty, and jailed or had their children taken away from them for such crimes and the miserable worm Prof Meadow has been using very strange arguments as a professional witness in such cases.
Meadow, what is the odds of Sudden Infant Death occurring?
1/8500
Now one child has died of SID what are the chances of a second child in the family dying of SID.
1/8500 times 1/8500 so 1/73 million sir
Meadow - you are a miserable worm. Can a real expert give us the answer?
1/8500 again, sir, they are two unconnected events. Actually sir it might be quite bit less as SID is thought to be influenced by environmental and genetic factors and so after one death the same factors apply to other children and makes them at high risk. In fact the figures from the Care of Next Infant charity (CONI) show after one cot death the risk of a second actually increases to one in 200.
But Meadow still is fixated on mothers commonly hurting and killing their children. His inability to understand basic statistics is enough for me to distrust him completely. My gut instinct tells me he is wrong in many other particulars. And his ignorance has had devastating effects.
Read this and get very upset!
And a final quote from another case: "We had not been interviewed by him. We did not even know who he was"
Mother whose daughter was taken into care after evidence by Sir Roy Meadow
Posted by The Englishman at 10:17 AM
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January 20, 2004
Earliest UK concrete houses?
Reading the local Parish magazine there is an excellent article by the local historian Rick Ozzard about houses made of concrete.
There doesn't sound much to interest one in the subject until one starts to consider where are the earliest ones. The little village of All Cannings in Wiltshire is in a very rural farming community with Black and White thatched cottages etc. It is probably the last place you would expect to have been the site of an amazing Victorian experiment in the use of Concrete.
In 1868 the Lord Ashburton and his tenant farmer Simon Hiscock decided to each build a pair of semidetached workers cottages. They had two plots adjacent of the same size. The tenant built his pair of brick, his Lordship of concrete - the only major difference is that in the absence of internal shuttering the concrete chimneys are straight rather than bent to combine into a single chimney stack. Both pairs of cottages still stand largely unaltered.
We can only surmise this was a trial into the efficacy of using shuttered reinforced concrete as a building method. It obviously was successful as two more pairs were then built, followed by a more elaborate villa style pair of cottages and finally a large Farmhouse.
This amazing experiment is unknown and unacknowledged outside the area. While these houses may not be the very first concrete houses built, they were built within a couple of years of the first one - the time-line is not clear and are certainly the biggest example of a group of dwellings built then. They are worthy of note!
Posted by The Englishman at 7:01 AM
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January 16, 2004
Bogusmongers basher extraordinary.
Thanks to Scott for pointing me to http://www.wetheundersigned.co.uk/ - a new daily read of Bogusmonger bashing.
Posted by The Englishman at 11:41 AM
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January 15, 2004
BBC Diversity
The Daily Ablution: This Week's Look Inside the BBC raises the interesting point about the BBC's diversity unit - following links I find that:
"Dyke has set ambitious targets: he wants ethnic minorities to make up 10 per cent of the BBC's workforce and 4 per cent of its management by next year... He argued that ethnic minorities, who, according to the Office for National Statistics, made up 7.1 per cent of the population of Britain in 2000..Dyke has continued to face criticism from people who claim that the BBC is still not doing enough to engage ethnic minorities..currently 8.5 per cent of the BBC's 23,000 staff are from ethnic minorities, while the figure for management stands at 3.2 per cent .
Eh? - run that past me again - the country is 7.1% "ethnic", the BBC is 8.5% and they are complaining that old Whitey is still getting preferential treatment, seems to me not to be so!
Luckily I decided some time ago that I am going to put "Black" down as my race when ever asked. I honestly have no idea of my racial genotype so why not be black? - or do they employ some old South African to tell how "Black" I am?
Posted by The Englishman at 4:21 PM
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January 13, 2004
God calling...
Man survives leap into lion's den
"the patient told the authorities he had been ordered by "voices from God" to enter the lion's den."
My advice - if you start hearing "Voices from God" go and have a nice cup of tea and a bit of a lie down - they should go away then, but if they persist ask for it in writing just to make sure what it is He really wants you to do. But at least this poor guy only hurt himself unlike some others who have heard the voices in the past.
Posted by The Englishman at 11:52 AM
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It makes me proud.
According to The Times Online
BRITISH consumers are nothing if not robust. Tell them that a certain food is so laden with carcinogens that they should eat it no more than three times a year, and they rush out to buy it by the trolleyful.
In the wake of last week's US report accusing Scottish farmed salmon of being stuffed to the gills with pollutant chemicals, supermarket chains were pleasantly surprised to find it leaping off the shelves at the weekend, and some Scottish producers found that orders and inquiries had gone through the roof.
Asda yesterday reported a 20 per cent increase in all its salmon ranges. "We saw this massive leap on Friday when the report was published."
Sainsbury's also reported an increase of some 10 per cent on salmon products, while Safeway said that salmon sales had gone up "significantly".
Now that is the way to treat stupid health scares, maybe one day the bogusmongers will shut up if we keep treating them with the contempt they deserve!
Posted by The Englishman at 10:36 AM
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January 12, 2004
A Trip through cyberspace.
Tim Blair notes "some fun LSD drawing experiments. Upon completing the drawing the patient starts laughing, then becomes startled by something on the floor. " which I noticed a couple of weeks earlier in the memepool.
In the same vein and also from the 1950s there is the 14MB classic of LSD being tested on British troops , which if you can afford the wait is worth downloading.
Posted by The Englishman at 3:19 PM
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One health scare that wont worry the French.
BBC NEWS | Health | Concern over deodorant chemicals
Posted by The Englishman at 8:19 AM
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January 10, 2004
Spring is in the air!
Here is the objective BBC environment correspondent Alex Kirby writing about the recent Doom warnings
A triple onslaught (of doom reports - Million animals going extinct, modernlifestyles are bad for us and the planet, and climate change worse danger than terrorism) like that defies anyone to head into the new year feeling even slightly positive about the human condition.
Sorry sunshine - I have a positive spring in my step as I see the Green worrywartss and econazis getting bashed all over the field by real scientists.
We believe the scientists:
Yes I do - but not the same ones you do!
Many species' prospects are dim
Some of us just refuse to react, blaming the messengers for their message and accusing the scientists of scaremongering.
But (at the risk of tempting fate) my inbox has been blessedly much freer recently of flat-earthers and foam-flecked contrarians.
Well that about sums up your objective stance to the very real debate about Climate Change - how the frick can the BBC employ such a bigot?
- Oh sorry silly question!
Posted by The Englishman at 9:04 PM
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January 5, 2004
A Fruit Case
BBC NEWS | Scotland | Chef sues hotel over cut finger
A chef who cut his finger is suing a hotel for 25,000 compensation by claiming no-one warned him about the danger posed by an avocado...
Thank God it wasn't soemthing really dangerous like a Free Market Brazil Nut.
Posted by The Englishman at 5:48 PM
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January 4, 2004
DDT
Junkscience.com -- 100 things you should know about DDT
"To only a few chemicals does man owe as great a debt as to DDT... In little more than two decades, DDT has prevented 500 million human deaths, due to malaria, that otherwise would have been inevitable."
[National Academy of Sciences, Committee on Research in the Life Sciences of the Committee on Science and Public Policy. 1970.)
- And the Econazis are banning it everywhere and people are dying!
Posted by The Englishman at 9:47 PM
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January 3, 2004
Improperly dressed
The Colonel retold this story tonight:
One of the old school army officers on a private income decided to learn Paragliding. So he turns up and is strapped in for his maiden flight wearing an open necked Tattershall shirt and Tweeds. The Lycra clad and helmeted instructor hesitantly mentions that Sir might be improperly dressed;
"Absolutely, stupid of me not to realise."
Off back to the Hanger he goes, and returns five minutes later wearing his well earned Parachute Regiment tie, and still in the tweeds.
And on with the lesson.
Posted by The Englishman at 1:02 AM
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December 30, 2003
My type of pilot
Mr Free Market posts about Sky Marshals, here is the audio clip he was missing...
Posted by The Englishman at 5:19 PM
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Seeing Red on Planning
I keep trying to work up a reasoned argument and suggestions as to how the planning system could be usefully reformed. Dr Madsen Pirie's experience - see Adam Smith Institute Blog - Planning in detail - seems mild by most but at least he had the balls to fight it. My planning application is in at the moment and I just say yes to their "suggestions" - I once fought and won a nine year battle with them and don't have the energy to do so again.
So my reasoned suggestion is - sorry I can't do it, the Tourette's keeps trying to cut in - deep breath - Before we had planners people built nice house, villages and towns which we now preserve, Five Year Plans belong in Stalinist Russia, - No I can't hold it.. THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT PLANNERS IS THAT COME THE GLORIOUS DAY THEY WILL HAVE MADE SURE THAT THERE ARE ENOUGH LAMPPOSTS FOR US TO HANG EACH ONE INDIVIDUALLY.. sorry I will go and have a lie down now.
Posted by The Englishman at 12:17 PM
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December 29, 2003
Even Better News
The Edge of England's Sword is sharp and cutting in a foreign field:
An improved climate - The Washington Times: Commentary
In 2003, more and more people realized alarmism over climate change is based on uncertain science and bad economics. If that trend continues in 2004, it could be a very good year indeed
Posted by The Englishman at 12:23 PM
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More Good News
The econazis suffered a set back when the perverse decision to clear them was reversed and they were fined.
UK Indymedia | Pink Castle Four Suffer Perversely Pricey Ping Pong Justice
On 15th December 2003 a District Judge in Weymouth, Dorset found 4 anti-GM activists Liz Snook, Olaf Bayer, Richard Whistance and Will Hart guilty of aggravated trespass for attaching themselves to tractors in an attempt to prevent the sewing (sic) a farmscale trial of GM maize near Weymouth in May 2002. The four were given conditional discharges lasting 18 months, 1 person was ordered to pay 250 court costs and the other three were ordered to pay court costs of 1000 each.
Some of the activists are planning to refuse to pay their court costs and are willing to go to prison if need be. Others due to personal circumstances are going to have to pay their court costs and would really appreciate any help that people are able to offer in paying their costs. offers of help should be sent to info@geneticsaction.org.uk
Yesterdays guilty verdict and sentencing marks the end of a drawn out and contradictory legal process. In March 2003 all 4 activists were cleared of aggravated trespass by the same District Judge. At the original trial, he commented that the four had acted in a "reasonable" way and said "I can see you all have huge knowledge of GM crops and I can see you were acting to protect the land and animals."
However, in November 2003 following a successful appeal by the Director of Public Prosecution, 2 high court judges overturned the District Judges earlier decision, and ruled that the four activists should be sent back to the magistrates court with an order to convict and sentence and them.
Now what suggestions to help them shall I email to them? - "have a bath" springs to mind; oh, if you do go to prison, when the big guy asks if you want to play Mummies and Daddies then smile you have made a special friend...
Posted by The Englishman at 12:17 PM
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December 23, 2003
Christmas nuts
Dr Madsen Pirie at the Adam Smith Institute is worried about his Brazil nuts. He blames the EU for banning them. Strangely the International Tree Nut Council make no mention of such a ban. Now I believe in blaming the EU for all the ills of the world - as a first approximation it is an acceptable truth. But I worry the good Doctor has been had. What I did find is that Food Quality News
reports that "measures to ensure unshelled Brazil nuts from Brazil, that contain aflatoxins above regulatory levels, do not enter the EU" as well as "aflatoxin-contaminated Chinese peanuts, Iranian pistachios and Turkish figs, pistachios and hazelnuts do not enter the European Union"
(The Decisions have been enacted into English law by The Food (Peanuts from China) (Emergency Control) (England) (No. 2) (Amendment) Regulations 2003, The Food (Pistachios from Iran) (Emergency Control) (England) Regulations 2003 and The Food (Figs, Hazelnuts and Pistachios from Turkey) (Emergency Control) (England) (No. 2) (Amendment) Regulations 2003, which came into force on 31 July 2003. - Sorry I couldn't find the Brazil nut banning measure!)
Now as a student of Forest Sciences I alway regale my guests with the news that that Brazil nuts ONLY grow on wild trees and are actually your real live food gathered from the Amazon Rain Forest by Genuine Natives - which sort of instills a bit of glamour to them, I suppose.
But then I notice the Grauniad having to publish an apology:
"We exaggerated the height of the brazil nut tree, Bertholletia excelsa, in a report headed In a nutshell, this species is endangered, page 5, December 19. We said it achieved heights of up to 150 metres (about 500 feet). No tree reaches such a height. It should have read 50 metres (about 160 feet). "
That is because you were using the STUPID metric system which means you couldn't visulise what you were writing about.
But maybe the tree is endangered, No, it seems that prices are just too low: In 2002 it was reported:
"Firstly, we had historically high prices for two years and that encouraged the Brazil nut collectors in the interior of Brazil and Bolivia to press further into the jungle to take out anything that looked like a Brazil nut. Ultimately they brought out enough nuts to put the market in an oversupply position and the price advance came to a screeching halt and slowly but surely the market started to inch its way down. The road to the lows that we saw late last year and early this year turned into an expressway as buyers stopped buying and sellers became more anxious to sell. This past January, as the shellers in Brazil, Bolivia and Peru began to assess the new crop, it became apparent that with prices being so low it was not profitable for them to advance money to the collectors to go deep into the jungle to pick up the Brazils. There was absolutely no incentive for them to do it."
So the Adam Smith Institute should be celebrating the shortage - Honest market forces are at work, the toxins are genuinely nasty (and maybe it is a case where government intervention is required) and as the market swings back the Indians will cherish the trees as a cash crop again and not chop them down.
Posted by The Englishman at 2:55 PM
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December 21, 2003
"Get a Grip"
BBC NEWS | Wales | Speeding policy under scrutiny
North Wales Police has come under repeated criticism from both the public and former officers for its push to catch speeding drivers in the area.
The Chief Constable, Richard Brunstrom, was told by retired assistant chief constable Elfed Roberts to "get a grip" and focus on catching criminals.
No that would be too difficult, real criminals are nasty and violent and work unsocial hours - much better idea to alienate the normally law abiding...
Posted by The Englishman at 1:03 PM
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December 20, 2003
You couldn't make it up!
BBC NEWS | England | West Midlands | Postman sues over 'too many letters'
A Black Country postman is taking legal action over claims he pulled a muscle carrying too many letters.
Alan Pugh is accusing University of Wolverhampton lecturer George Chryssides of being inconsiderate after allegedly posting 270 letters in a city centre post box.
Mr Pugh, 53, who works for Royal Mail's Wolverhampton depot in Sun Street, claims he had to take a week off sick due to a pulled muscle and lost 286.96 in pay.
Dr Chryssides, who is denying liability, said he assumed postmen knew how to deal with full post boxes.
No comment needed!
Posted by The Englishman at 10:03 PM
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December 18, 2003
Eco Gongs
Philip Stott points out the wonderful timing of the Guardian's Eco Gongs 2003
John Vidal and Paul Brown
Wednesday December 17, 2003
The Guardian
International Contrarian Award goes to Sceptical Environmentalist author Bjorn Lomborg, who this year was accused by a Danish scientific committee of gross negligence and "not comprehending science". It said: "Objectively speaking, the publication of the work under consideration is deemed to fall within the concept of scientific dishonesty."
- Ha Ha Ha, do we get an apology tomorrow!
The rest of the awards are as stupid:
Unsustainable Development Award goes to the transport secretary, Alistair Darling. This year, he continued to preside over a crumbling public transport system, while increasing fares, protecting the motorist and reinstating the roads programme. To cap it all, Darling came up with an expansionist aviation white paper, with its new runways and ludicrous forecasts for ever-increasing air travel and the prosperity this will bring to Britain.
- Diddums, why ludicrous? What protection for the motorist?
Brass Neck Award goes to Thames Water, which has the leakiest mains in the country, with an astonishing 50%-plus wastage rate in north London - more than Leeds uses in a year. Unrepentant, the company revived plans for a giant new reservoir next to the Thames, near Oxford.
- May be not everyone in London wants to be a smelly unwashed Hippy, and presumably the leaked water is recycled through the aquifer or is it lost for ever?
Bjorn Lomborg Contrarian Award goes to Senator James Inhofe, of Oklahoma, who went to the climate talks in Milan and announced that global warming was "the greatest hoax ever perpetrated". As chairman of the US Senate environment committee, he will have been aware of the recent World Health Organisation report that stated that climate change was already killing 160,000 people a year - a figure that is soon expected to double.
Sounds like he is talking sense - note the difference between "Global warming" code for human caused change and "Climate Change" a natural process. And if for one moment we accept the 160,000 figure, that is not many people on a global scale, when the money spent on Kyoto could save millions if applied to supplying drinking water for instance.
Senator Inhofe Services to British Contrarianism Award goes to Claire Fox, panelist on the Moral Maze BBC Radio 4 programme and director of the Institute of Ideas. Fox and her erstwhile Living Marxism (LM) chums have had a shrill year trying to undermine the "precautionary principle", organic food and Kyoto, which they say are against progress.
Hey sounds like these "Living Marxists" talk sense, and I always thought Marxists didn't - what is going on?
Newcomer Contrarian Award goes to Ceri Dingle, also part of the LM network, whose slogan is: "Let's forget about Kyoto. We want the poor driving Ferraris!"
Abso-bloody-lutely, are you sure you are a Marxist?
Stuffed Shirt Award for Reintroduction goes to the landowners, and others with vested interests, who have resisted so stubbornly the reintroduction of the beaver in Scotland, an important and fun addition to Britain's wildlife.
Now I like a bit of beaver as much as the next man, but why "important"? Beavers do illegal damming of streams and cut down trees without permits, they are not just fun cuddly creatures. And for a balance we would need at least one large carnivore introduced as well to control their numbers as I doubt trapping will be allowed.
Red Kite Award for Reintroduction goes to the Great Bustard Consortium, a coalition of amateur enthusiasts and scientists, chaired by a former policeman and set up only in 1998, which will reintroduce the birds to Salisbury Plain in Wiltshire next year.
Amateurs indeed, it has been tried before a couple of times, I hope it works this time but it has nothing to do with real wildlife management. - Do you think they will be fat enough fopr next Christmas?
Jonah Bad News Award goes to the International Energy Agency, which predicts that China's increase in greenhouse gas emissions from 2000 to 2030 will almost equal that of the rest of the industrial world put together.
As they move from smokey wood fires to electric cookers
Chico Mendes International Protester Award goes to Lee Kyung, the Korean farmers' leader who committed ritual suicide at the World Trade Organisation talks in Cancun to draw attention to the tragic effects of unfair trade rules. Runners-up are the 150 Mexican farmworkers who stripped naked and invaded their parliament. The British award goes to Martin Forwood, who chained himself to a railway line at Barrow in protest against the import of Italian spent nuclear fuel and was fined 250.
Ken Livingstone Local Politician Award goes to Ken Livingstone, for successfully introducing the congestion charge - but the judges stipulate that the London mayor may be stripped of the accolade if he persists in backing a 500m road bridge over the Thames that will add to pollution in some of London's poorest areas.
The Happy Mule Award for GM goes to the British government for its stubborn persistence against all scientific evidence, public opinion, and opposition from supermarkets in voting for the import of GM sweetcorn. It was agreed this month to get in before regulations protecting the consumer.
"all scientific evidence"; my arse!
Houdini Political Escapism Award goes to former environment minister Michael Meacher, for the GM farm-scale trials. Designed to get the government off the hook in its first term, the four years of scientific trials into whether GM was good for the environment turned up firm results. Having insisted that science should be paramount, the government seems to have no alternative but to say no to GM oil seed rape and beet.
Get someone who understands long words to explain to you what the trials proved - it was nothing against GM, but showed the effects of different herbicide policies.
Goof Award goes to Margaret Beckett, the environment secretary, for her plan to abolish English Nature as part of sweeping reforms of how services to rural Britain are delivered, and failing to recognising the crucial role it has in defending sites of special scientific interest against crass development.
Oh great, they have got rid of a QUANGO - do you really believe that after this reshuffle there will be LESS bureaucrats protecting us?
Most Bizarre British Month Award is shared between seven this year. January had the warmest day since records began; February was the second sunniest in 42 years; March was the sunniest ever; Britain had its warmest April in more than 50 years; June was the warmest since 1976; August saw the highest temperature ever recorded - at Faversham, Kent; and September was the sunniest in more than 40 years.
And December has the most 2003 Christmases in it of any month - meaningless stats.
Local Environment Group Award is shared between Impact, the small Teesside group that opposed the entry of the "ghost ships" from the US, and Ban Waste, for its long campaign against an incinerator in Newcastle upon Tyne. A runners-up award goes to TCC, a coalition of community groups in Wrexham, north Wales, that has fought against the building of a giant incinerator and forced the company to modify its plans.
Any chance you can round all these "community" groups up into one big hall for a "special" prize giving - now that would be useful!
Missed Target Award goes to English Nature, the government's statutory advisory body on nature, which is responsible for the upkeep of Britain's 4,112 sites of special scientific interest. Last week, it was revealed that more than 40% are in a ropey condition - the target stipulates that 95% must be in favourable condition by 2010. At this rate, it may get there by 2022. Runner-up was the British government for increasing carbon emissions through burning too much coal.
Ropey being a precise scientific term that I obviously missed when I studied. I think it translates as 40% of site managers want more money to put up signs and gates.
Posted by The Englishman at 11:30 AM
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"Jesus like a suicide bomber" - BBC
I heard a promotional snippet on the radio for this program this morning.
BBC - Religion & Ethics - Jesus
A talking head said that it was "an awful simile, but that Jesus was like a suicide bomber in that he believed his death was the important thing". (from memory).
I'm no theologian but I believe the technical term for that is bollocks and offensive bollocks at that.
Let us assume that Jesus did see his death as the important thing he had to do and, so contrary to teachings, arranged it, so it was a type of suicide.
I can think of three suicide scenarios:
Despair - not applicable.
Suicide Bombing - the aim is kill other people as well as your self, It is an act of hate. I think Jesus was trying to save other people.
Heroic self sacrifice, - falling on a handgranade to save the rest of the platoon, a father saving children from a fire, helping people down the stairs of the Twin Towers. They are acts of love - Now that is an analogy that should be used.
The BBC is full of people who see Suicide Bombers as romantic heros in the struggle and so it would never have occured to them what a twisted and disgusting simile this is.
Posted by The Englishman at 10:21 AM
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Lomborg Vindicated
The Edge of England's Sword: Lomborg Vindicated -- Again
Good news for truth, science, the environment and Lomborg believers.
What took them so long to find the Danish Committees on Scientific Dishonesty were dishonest? - if they had any sense of decency they would recant and resign. For a whole year the Greens have used this smear, and I bet will continue to do so.
A large Carlsberg I think for lunch - no maybe that is a sacrifice too far!
Posted by The Englishman at 10:00 AM
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December 16, 2003
No Offence
Microsoft has gone to extraordinary lengths to remove a swastika symbol that is in a font they released - in case it offends someone. (See extended entry)
Now Buddhists still use it to symbolise the feet or footprints of the Buddha. The symbol, which was also used widely in the ancient world including Mesopotamia, Scandinavia, India and the Americas, became common in China and Japan with the spread of Buddhism.
And if you were writing about the Nazi's it might come in useful.
And of course the much maligned Kipling used it:
His use was completley unrelated to Nazism, and he ordered its removal as Adolf rose to power.
So the fear of offending causes madness yet again. - The only upside I can see is that the anti-Bush brigade will find it a tad harder to produce their Bush is a Nazi posters!.
An Open Letter from Senior Vice President Steven Sinofsky
Dec. 12, 2003
Microsoft has learned of a mistake in the Bookshelf Symbol 7 font included in the Microsoft Office System client applications. Due to an unintentional oversight, we failed to identify, prior to the release, the presence of two swastikas within the font. We apologize for this and for any offense caused. Microsoft is taking immediate measures to remedy the issue for all customers.
Microsoft has released a utility today for worldwide download that removes the font.
Again, we apologize to those who have been offended or upset. We continue to work to improve our processes in order to prevent this type of error in the future.
Sincerely,
Steven Sinofsky
Senior Vice President, Microsoft Office
Posted by The Englishman at 10:31 AM
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December 15, 2003
Pussification of the toilet.
Pussification having been a popular subject in the blogosphere I would like to pass on a thought which has only just occurred to me. And I can't work out why it took so long.
Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, whatever you call it is being pussified. In the good old days it was hard and scraped,
then it went a bit softer, which made life a bit better, but now it has gone all fluffy and shreds at the first sign of work to be done. - why?
And then it struck me, it is no longer being made for the business end but instead it is made for drying Ladies' Front Bottoms.
Don't my needs as a man count for anything, or is it assumed that Girls do the shopping so girls get to choose?
So it is going to be two sorts of bumf in the Castle from now on.
My choice: Andrex Toilet Tissues - Aloe Vera 
- Though why my botty needs Vitamin E I am not sure.
Posted by The Englishman at 4:15 PM
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December 14, 2003
Piranha lunch
Feeding the fishes is good for the environment.
BBC NEWS | UK | Amazon search for UK campaigner
Posted by The Englishman at 7:54 AM
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December 11, 2003
More Bollocks to the square inch than..
BBC NEWS | Health | Climate change 'will harm health'
The health of millions will be damaged if world temperatures continue to rise as a result of climate change, says the World Health Organization.
Increasing temperatures will aid the spread of water-borne diseases, and those carried by insects, it predicts.
Even a rise of a few degrees could expose hundreds of millions more people to the threat of malaria, say experts.
In addition, changes to rainfall patterns, could damage agriculture, plunging millions into malnutrition.
etc. etc.
This is the bloody WHO who should know better, but let me remind you:
Today malaria is a tropical disease, but until the 1920s it was endemic all over Europe and America. Oliver Cromwell died of malaria, and the disease was mentioned (as 'the ague') in eight of Shakespeare's plays. It was a British army major, Dr Ronald Ross, serving in Madras, India, who in 1898 found that the female anopheles mosquito was the disease vector. Ross's discovery led to new, more effective methods to control malaria.
After the Second World War, Europe and North America used DDT to eradicate malaria. The pesticide saved millions of lives by killing the malarial mosquito - but it never had complete success in the world's poorer countries. Then, following complaints from environmentalists in the 1970s, DDT was removed from the malaria control programme in many developing countries
In 2000, the disease killed more than one million people and made 300million seriously ill.
According to Professor Wen Kilama of the African Malaria Vaccine Testing Network in Tanzania, 'Malaria is equivalent to crashing seven jumbo jets filled with children every day'.
Source: spiked-science | Article | Without DDT, malaria bites back
Posted by The Englishman at 2:59 PM
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December 5, 2003
Yah Boo sucks
The England Project proposes a
National Smoke a Cigar Day
This is in response to Doctors wanting to make tobacco illegal - my first thought is they ought to put their own house in order first - "As many as 100,000 people a year catch an infection during their stay in an NHS hospital. " I believe that is an underestimate judging how filthy some hospitals and doctor's surgeries are.
( I don't smoke - but I'm tempted to try a small cheroot for solidarities sake.)
Posted by The Englishman at 3:05 PM
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December 4, 2003
Green Gods
Judicious Asininity points out that Power Line points out this informative speech by Michael Crichton that sheds some light on the "religion of environmentalism" which relies on emotion based decisions that often ignore facts:
- I will just add it is a must read - and that I wrote a long, witty, insightful post on this but the dog ate it, or I pressed the wrong button, so you will have to put up with one of my usual short crap posts instead - just go and read it.
A sample:
With so many past failures, you might think that environmental predictions would become more cautious. But not if it's a religion. Remember, the nut on the sidewalk carrying the placard that predicts the end of the world doesn't quit when the world doesn't end on the day he expects. He just changes his placard, sets a new doomsday date, and goes back to walking the streets. One of the defining features of religion is that your beliefs are not troubled by facts, because they have nothing to do with facts.
So I can tell you some facts. I know you haven't read any of what I am about to tell you in the newspaper, because newspapers literally don't report them. I can tell you that DDT is not a carcinogen and did not cause birds to die and should never have been banned. I can tell you that the people who banned it knew that it wasn't carcinogenic and banned it anyway. I can tell you that the DDT ban has caused the deaths of tens of millions of poor people, mostly children, whose deaths are directly attributable to a callous, technologically advanced western society that promoted the new cause of environmentalism by pushing a fantasy about a pesticide, and thus irrevocably harmed the third world. Banning DDT is one of the most disgraceful episodes in the twentieth century history of America. We knew better, and we did it anyway, and we let people around the world die and didn't give a damn.
I can tell you that second hand smoke is not a health hazard to anyone and never was, and the EPA has always known it. I can tell you that the evidence for global warming is far weaker than its proponents would ever admit. I can tell you the percentage the US land area that is taken by urbanization, including cities and roads, is 5%. I can tell you that the Sahara desert is shrinking, and the total ice of Antarctica is increasing.
Posted by The Englishman at 12:30 PM
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December 2, 2003
Dozy Tarts
BBC NEWS | Health | Morning after pill dose changed
The Department of Health has announced that Levonelle will now be given as two pills taken together - rather than 12 hours apart.
It is hoped this will cut pregnancies caused by women forgetting to take the second dose.
So you forget to take precautions, remember to get a "morning after" pill, but forget again to take the second pill twelve hours later! No worries I suppose, you can always have an abortion on the taxpayer...
Posted by The Englishman at 8:39 PM
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December 1, 2003
Disabled?
The Revd Joanna Jepson, Assistant Curate of St Michaels, Chester, is taking the Chief Constable of West Mercia Police, Paul West, to court because he did not prosecute when doctors performed an abortion after 24 weeks on a foetus with a cleft palate. In law, an abortion may be carried out after this period only if there is a risk of a severe disability.
- Here's an example of the effects of such a disability - the Rev. Joanna Jepson herself "who had corrective surgery for a jaw disfigurement in her late teens".
- Is that sort of disfigurement really worth killing a baby to prevent?
The old hairy Liberal in me is still wishy-washy on abortion in "real need" cases but this is a horrific example which needs to be prosecuted to push back the boundaries of what is acceptable.
Posted by The Englishman at 1:47 PM
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November 28, 2003
Offensive jargon comes under fire
As I was reading BBC NEWS | Technology | Offensive jargon comes under fire
"Technology firms supplying Los Angeles County with hardware have been asked to avoid using the words "master" and "slave" to describe their products."
My BES Ltd. Mail Order Gas & Plumbing Supplies Catalogue arrived.
On the front page it advertises a "Stud Finder" - inside it has got "Male Stud Couplings" - "Male and Female Nipples" though they call the Bastard Files, half round ones. And so on...
Who can I sue?
Posted by The Englishman at 1:03 PM
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November 13, 2003
Enviro nutters
I'm sitting here reading the excellent EnviroSpin Watch when I look up to see an advert on the television - a man's arm, a mosquito lands and bites...
The advert is for Organic food - Seeds of Change - the tag - "Organic People taste better". Ha bloody ha . Malaria - even West Nile disease in Colorado are just a bloody joke because we are Organic and Mosquito bites are just funny little bites - No they fucking aren't - they are only funny to you, Tarquin, because the full force of western science is keeping you safe and you won't get a nasty disease.
Posted by The Englishman at 8:37 PM
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November 11, 2003
A great result from a Speed camera.
BBC NEWS | World | Europe | French ministers 'found speeding'
Cars carrying two French ministers broke the speed limit while taking them to inaugurate a new speed camera, according to a French motoring weekly.
Posted by The Englishman at 2:33 PM
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Cops Reconsider Lock-Out Rescues
News from Auto Express
"Police officers in the UK could be told not to help motorists retrieve keys that have been locked in their vehicle. The news comes after an incident in Edinburgh when two officers helped a woman gain access to her car.
She then complained and sent the force a bill for 200, claiming that the cops had damaged the vehicle's paintwork, and demanded compensation. A police spokes-man said officers would now only help motorists if safety was an issue."
Silly Bitch - I hope she keeps an eye on her tyre tread depths and her lights because I expect the Rozzers will be looking to book her - , but anyway greedy silly bitch - one case of compensation culture and everyone no longer had auseful service. They should have fought the case as she asked them to do it...
Posted by The Englishman at 2:05 PM
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November 9, 2003
Junk
The Observer | Special reports | Official: fat epidemic will cut life expectancy
The child obesity epidemic caused by poor nutrition and lack of exercise is creating a looming health crisis, with average life expectancy expected to drop for the first time in more than a century.
Let me make a prediction - it won't. The biggest threat to kids health are the environazis banning life saving chemicals and techniques.
Influential Nazis tended to approve of the occult and of unscientific manifestations of vitalism and quasi-holism, including biodynamic farming, homeopathy, and a precursor of holistic medicine.
Nazism was very complex and is not reducible to a single group of beliefs, particularly in terms of the aforementioned theories. But within the Nazi movement of the early 20th century were influential figures who publicly subscribed to tenets remarkably similar to the prevalent antiscience claims of today's advocates of postmodernism, deconstructionism, and/or ecofeminism. Indeed, some of the antiscience canons of postmodernism were enunciated by key members of the Nazi regime.
Posted by The Englishman at 2:52 PM
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November 7, 2003
"Shall from this practise but make hard your heart:"
The blogosphere is making many points on the US Bill to ban Partial-Birth Abortion .
Ignoring the unborn for a minute, in the name of heaven what does such a procedure do to the abortionists and the women involved?
The doctor's warning in William Shakespeare's Cymbeline (Act 1, Scene V ) is apt as any.
Now, master doctor, have you brought those drugs?
CORNELIUS
Pleaseth your highness, ay: here they are, madam:
Presenting a small box
But I beseech your grace, without offence,--
My conscience bids me ask--wherefore you have
Commanded of me those most poisonous compounds,
Which are the movers of a languishing death;
But though slow, deadly?
QUEEN
I wonder, doctor,
Thou ask'st me such a question. Have I not been
Thy pupil long? Hast thou not learn'd me how
To make perfumes? distil? preserve? yea, so
That our great king himself doth woo me oft
For my confections? Having thus far proceeded,--
Unless thou think'st me devilish--is't not meet
That I did amplify my judgment in
Other conclusions? I will try the forces
Of these thy compounds on such creatures as
We count not worth the hanging, but none human,
To try the vigour of them and apply
Allayments to their act, and by them gather
Their several virtues and effects.
CORNELIUS
Your highness
Shall from this practise but make hard your heart:
Besides, the seeing these effects will be
Both noisome and infectious.
QUEEN
O, content thee.
Enter PISANIO
Aside
Here comes a flattering rascal; upon him
Will I first work: he's for his master,
An enemy to my son. How now, Pisanio!
Doctor, your service for this time is ended;
Take your own way.
CORNELIUS
[Aside] I do suspect you, madam;
But you shall do no harm.
QUEEN
[To PISANIO] Hark thee, a word.
CORNELIUS
[Aside] I do not like her. She doth think she has
Strange lingering poisons: I do know her spirit,
And will not trust one of her malice with
A drug of such damn'd nature. Those she has
Will stupefy and dull the sense awhile;
Which first, perchance, she'll prove on
cats and dogs,
Then afterward up higher: but there is
No danger in what show of death it makes,
More than the locking-up the spirits a time,
To be more fresh, reviving. She is fool'd
With a most false effect; and I the truer,
So to be false with her.
QUEEN
No further service, doctor,
Until I send for thee.
CORNELIUS
I humbly take my leave.
Exit
Posted by The Englishman at 1:18 PM
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October 29, 2003
Back to the stone age.
Looks like a victory for the precautionary principle.
BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | EU launches chemicals crackdown
The knock on effect will be that thousands of useful chemicals that have never done any harm will not be tested as it won't be worth while paying to test them.
I look forward to seeing if this chemical passes:
Oral toxicity (The Registry of Toxic Effects of Chemical Substances, 1986):
Human; TDLo: 12,357 mg/kg/23 D-C
Mouse; LD50: 4,000 mg/kg
Rat; LD50: 3,000 mg/kg
Rabbit; LDLo: 8,000 mg/kg
Posted by The Englishman at 3:08 PM
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October 28, 2003
News from the left coast.
Smoking ban may soon extend to L.A. beaches
Doesn't seem to be working judging by this
Nasa photo of the smoke
I'm sure patriotic Americans are blaming the Fu-Go Weapons.
Posted by The Englishman at 3:43 PM
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Real science
The 2003 October edition of NumberWatch is a classic must read for anyone interested in the Truth vs Media scares.
Global Warming
Malaria
DDT
Electromagnetic radiation
Kyoto Protocol
Gun Crime Statistics (especially kids killed by guns)
Shock horror 1. If you feed your baby 100 tons of proprietary baby food, it might get cancer.
Shock horror 2. GM crops do exactly what they were designed to do.
Rural Wiltshire
Wind Energy
and so on - if any of these interest you go to the site.
"We have the misfortune to live in the new Dark Ages, where science and beauty alike are buried in a morass of myth and superstition."
Posted by The Englishman at 12:21 PM
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A Dad's Nightmare
Boy, 8, dies in game of Tarzan: "A boy of eight died after becoming entangled in a rope while playing a game of Tarzan at his tree-house."
The poor father of this boy has all my sympathies and my admiration because he came out and said that you can't wrap children in cotton wool all the time if they are going to grow up and enjoy life, and sometimes accidents happen. And that is the truth.
(#1 I mention only the Dad because he is the only one to be featured in the press, and in no way do I mean to not recognise the devestation such a loss has on the rest of the family - but I also guess it was Dad who built the tree-house etc and so his feelings of guilt will be tremendous.)
(#2 I know of what I speak here though through luck and modern medicine my sons are alive and well.)
Posted by The Englishman at 11:19 AM
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October 24, 2003
The new blog EnviroSpin Watch
The new blog EnviroSpin Watch has become an essential daily read.
The ecoterrorists and enviroidiots are becoming one of the biggest threats to peace and prosperity the world has known - A bit strong? No - the Greens are killing millions with their halfwitted policies, and that isn't very nice for those killed and out of pure self interest doesn't make for a safe and prosperous world to live in.
When they can they plan to feature a guest essay from a famous writer or scientist. The first is from one the world's most popular science writers, Matt Ridley, celebrated for his many fine books. Any Cance to read matt Ridley should be grabbed - so go to it!
Posted by The Englishman at 12:06 PM
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