An Englishman's Castle

November 1, 2006

The running of the bulls

A policeman trying to warn a motorist not to stop because a bullock was running free along a dual carriageway was chased by the animal back to his vehicle.

The chase, on the A30 at Whiddon Down, Okehampton, Devon, which ended when PC Steve Thomson managed to sprint to one side of the vehicle while his pursuer ran to the other side, was captured on the patrol car’s video camera.

But where is the video? I can't find it on Youtube, looks like the funniest thing I saw since Granny caught her tit in the mangle.
Still I'm sad to relate that Plod didn't grab his cape, picas and estoque and deal with the bull in a proper manly way, instead they took a hint out of the Met's book and declared the bullock a terrorist and "after more than two hours ... two police marksmen to shoot it". Bloody hell if it takes two of them two hours to track down and kill a rampaging beast what chance have they of catching a proper baddie?

Posted by The Englishman at 6:29 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 11, 2006

More Kennet Council Rubbish

Having popped down my local for a half gallon sharpener before going shooting with Mr FM this evening I discover all is not well. As you may imagine a pub produces a fair amount of glass waste, empty bottles of single malts and Bacardi Breezers seem to dominate - one for the decent chaps and the other for the poppets one dangles from one's knees. But Kennet District Council want several hundred pounds to collect the cullet - and of course it can't be put in the recycling bins as it is commercial waste, even if the Landlady takes it herself to the recycling centre she is risking a £5000 fine so it is going to landfill. Recycling - pah!

Posted by The Englishman at 5:10 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 14, 2006

Kennet Council's Rubbish

A small insight into the green and pleasant land we now live in:

This New System Is Simply Rubbish (from This Is Wiltshire)

FURIOUS mother-of-five Fiona Cox has expressed her despair at only being given one wheelie bin for a fortnight's household refuse.
She said: "When I alerted the council to the problem, I was told if I tried using terry cloth nappies and bought milk in glass bottles then I could recycle the excess waste. That way the bin would not get so full.
...
"Why should we pay the extra cost for things like that when we already pay council tax to provide such services? I feel we have been penalised for having a big family."
Mrs Cox and several of her neighbours are worried that rubbish will start piling up.
She said: "There are maggots in the bottom of our bin as rubbish has been sitting there for two weeks and there is too much of it." Mrs Cox and her husband have five children under the age of ten as well as a housekeeper Lata Mudiyanselage. In two weeks she said they would produce eight bags of rubbish, and she alerted the council to this...
She said to qualify for a second bin, she will have to wait a month and then have her rubbish inspected. She said: "They said they will assess the bin and make sure nothing can be recycled but I don't want my rubbish laid out."

Neighbour Alison Giles, 70, said: "My greenhouse was packed with rubbish and I am due to have knee surgery soon, so I will not be able to drive to the recycling centre to get rid of rubbish. This scheme will affect old people, people who can't drive and those with children."

Kennet leader Chris Humphries said: "Large families will not suffer. They will get the extra facilities they need for their rubbish."

The land of the rubbish inspectors where the council decides on the correct way for you to live.

I am sure in a few years time there will be a variety of private firms offering private house rubbish collections - people will just ignore the council and be prepared to pay extra for a simple non-discriminatory collection when and how they want.)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:25 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Honi soit qui mal y pense

BBC NEWS | England | Staffordshire | Vicar steps down for cheek kiss

A vicar has stepped down as a school governor after kissing a primary pupil on the cheek to congratulate her.

There is something deeply worrying about those who imagine evil and see "sex" in every action by anyone else. It is a madness that has bcome instituionalised. Honi soit qui mal y pense - (Old French for, "shame upon him who thinks evil of it")

Posted by The Englishman at 6:16 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 12, 2006

Road Closure

BBC NEWS | England | Bristol | Grand piano lorry blaze closed M4

A lorry fire on the M4 shut the motorway westbound between Bristol and Bath for two hours on Wednesday.

I drove past when the van was well alight and before the emergency services had arrived. The traffic was self organising itself into an orderly queue to give it a wide berth and we got on with our journey - I knew when i saw it that if I had been a bit later the Rozzers would have got all over excited and started closing the road with out regard to the cost and inconvenience. It was a small van on the hard shoulder - it only needed a couple of lanes closed whilst they put it out- not the whole bloody motorway for two hours. It is time we got a grip. (I note the Bombay trains are running again today after the terrorist outrage.)

Posted by The Englishman at 10:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 11, 2006

The local cost of Chernobyl

House of Commons Hansard Written Answers for 2 Feb 1996 (pt 8)

Mr. Llew Smith: To ask the Secretary of State for Wales what recent assessment he has made of the persistent environmental effects on Welsh farms of the radioactive fallout from the Chernobyl accident in 1986; and if he will make an assessment on the effect on the Welsh economy of the radioactive pollution.
Mr. Gwilym Jones: In Wales radiocaesium contamination from the Chernobyl accident affects certain upland areas of sheep grazing, predominantly where there is a high peat content. While there is a general decline from year to year in the activity rate of radiocaesium, the actual rate of decline in these areas depends on the interaction of a number of factors such as soil type, vegetation, weather, drainage and sheep grazing preference. The variable interaction between these factors does not enable an accurate forecast to be made of the length of time sheep controls will be required.
Regular monitoring of radiocaesium levels in sheep, and other relevant information, enables suitable areas to be identified for a comprehensive survey and assessment to determine the prospects for removing controls. Following such work, my right hon. Friend was able to
lift controls from more than 65 sq km in the Snowdon area on 17 January 1996.This reduced the area originally affected by sheep controls from more than 4,000 sq km to approximately 580 sq km.

It was recognised that the introduction of sheep controls would have some economic effect on part of the Welsh sheep industry. To mitigate this, the sheep compensation scheme was introduced in July 1986 to compensate farmers whose enterprises had been disrupted as a consequence of sheep controls. So far in Wales over £7,900,000 has been paid to farmers affected. This compensation has been paid primarily to recompense farmers for the inconvenience and disruption of sheep controls; payments for market losses as a result of the Chernobyl accident have been comparatively small.

Danger from radiation is exaggerated, say scientists - Britain - Times Online

THE dangers of radiation to human health have been exaggerated significantly, according to scientists who have examined the legacy of the Chernobyl disaster 20 years ago.
Research into the aftermath of the meltdown at the Soviet nuclear reactor has suggested that low levels of radioactivity are not as harmful as believed - and may even be beneficial.
Evidence from people and animals exposed to fallout has convinced experts that the risks of radiation follow a much more complex pattern than predicted.
Generally, the hazards are thought to rise directly with increasing doses of radiation. But the new theory suggests that there is a threshold, below which any amount of exposure is probably safe.

(As others including Tim W have pointed out it isn't a new theory - as Numberwatch says:

It has been known ever since the Manhattan Project in 1943 that ionising radiation shares with many other toxic agents the property of hormesis. This is the tendency for small doses actually to be beneficial, or at least neutral, in their effect. Furthermore it is known that human DNA incurs a dramatically large number of lesions per cell per year, which are repaired. For a full discussion with references see Jaworowski in What Risk? (Edited by Roger Bate, Butterworth Heineman, 1997, ISBN 0 7506 3810 9).

The Chernobyl disaster was initially predicted to cause hundreds of thousands of deaths. Two decades later the death toll stands at 56. The United Nations Chernobyl Forum estimates that no more than 4,000 people will die as a direct result of fallout, while radiation may be a contributory factor in another 5,000 deaths.

Dr Repacholi said that even these estimates could be too high. While 4,000 cases of thyroid cancer have been detected in the Chernobyl region, with 15 deaths, many can be attributed to better detection because of the screening conducted after the disaster.

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Recycling Nazis suffer setback

First recycling prosecution fails - Britain - Times Online

THE first person to be prosecuted for failing to recycle household rubbish was cleared of any offence yesterday after magistrates decided that there was insufficient evidence to convict.

The decision by magistrates could have implications for other councils trying to persuade householders to sort their waste before putting it in the appropriate bins. Exeter City Council, which brought the prosecution, called for a change in the law to make it easier to get a conviction

Mrs Challice had repeatedly told council investigators that neither she nor her children, Warren, 14, Kimberley, 12, and Ryan, 10, had put the food into the bin outside her home in Hazel Road, Exeter.

Mark Shell, her solicitor, said: “Who put the items in the bin? We do not know. It is not our problem. It is the Crown who have to satisfy the court that it was the defendant.”

After the case Mike Trim, the Exeter City Council recycling officer, said: “We will have to look at the implications for us and other local authorities. It will be hard to bring cases like this if there has to be direct evidence of an individual contaminating a recycling bin.

“It’s hard to see how you can carry out surveillance practically on what people do in their own homes and their own back gardens...

Oh, but you would love to, wouldn't you - watching, monitoring, surveillance, lovely lovely lovely. The proles must be controlled and just because there isn't any evidence doesn't mean we shouldn't prosecute, fine, imprison, flog and hang the non-believers!

Posted by The Englishman at 7:45 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

July 7, 2006

All your kids are belong to us! cont.

leyton.org » Fingerprinting children

It seems a bit hard to believe at first, but it's happening. Schools across the country are compulsorily fingerprinting children without the consent of the parents. It seems to be with regards some supposed library system, but it seems rather over the top, and that it's without the consent of parents beggars belief. Especially when parental consent is required for so many other things, not least sex education, swimming lessons, and away trips. So why not the capturing of biometrics information, the use of which seems a little murky, and rather ominous, and in a time when identity theft is of growing concern. Surely childrens identities are of equal value, and deserve equal protection and appropriate consent.
A campaigning website has been set up, ...

LeaveThem Kids Alone! (against schools fingerprinting our children) Home

Posted by The Englishman at 9:49 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 4, 2006

My money is on him

School bans boy's snack empire | Metro.co.uk

A schoolboy who set up a playground sweet shop because he was fed up with 'overpriced health food' is facing expulsion.
Teenager William Guntrip was raking in more than £50 a day by selling chocolate bars and fizzy drinks to other pupils during break times.
Now the health-conscious school, which has banned sweets from vending machines and filled the canteen with healthy options, says he will be expelled if he does not shut up shop.
William, 13, set up the venture at Sponne School in Towcaster, Northamptonshire, after his father Glyn pledged to give up smoking if the boy could make £1,000 through his own business. He trawled supermarket aisles and corner shops for cut-price bargains before selling the sweets to other youngsters who wanted a change from pasta, fruit and vegetables.
The schoolboy, whose idol is Virgin tycoon Richard Branson, said: 'I can't believe it; I don't see what I've done wrong, it's not illegal. Even some of the teachers have been buying from me.
'The food at lunchtimes is rubbish. It's all pasta and vegetables, there's no meat. I don't mind some healthy stuff but it costs too much money and there's not enough choice. Now they've taken away all my stock.'

Why do I have the feeling he will do far better in life than the nannies who are trying to stop him. Mine's a Mars bar and a Coke - please.

Posted by The Englishman at 11:31 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

Remembering and Honouring...

Telegraph | News | Leonard Cheshire charity seeks name change

Plans to change the name of the charity founded by the war hero and VC winner Leonard Cheshire, the RAF bomber commander who went on to dedicate his life to the care of the disabled, have "disappointed" his family.
The Leonard Cheshire charity, which cares for 21,000 disabled people, wants to change its image after a survey showed that most young people had never heard of him and did not know what the charity did.
Volunteers and residents in its 50 homes were asked for suggestions for a new name after its leaders said: "The Leonard Cheshire name can be a barrier to achieving the organisation's goals."

Various new names have been suggested, among them Equability UK, A-BL UK, Disability UK and eQual UK.

A-BL UK - wow! what a bleeding trendy name, and what apart from a weak pun does that mean, what does that stand for? Does it stand for honour, decency, self-sacrifice and bloody hard work for others or does it stand for designer glasses and couple of lines of something in a trendy Soho bar? If the brand name isn't being recognised for what it is then that is your own bloody fault, changing the name and logo is a marketing cop-out and rarely works. The managers of this organisation are obviously just rule-book robots - I doubt a single one of them has an ounce of the qualities that makes the Leonard Cheshire name one that they should be proud to shout about.

Leonard Cheshire - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

He was the only one of the 32 VC airmen to win the medal for an extended period of sustained courage and outstanding effort, rather than a single act of valour. His citation read;

'In four years of fighting against the bitterest opposition he maintained a standard of outstanding personal achievement, his successful operations being the result of careful planning, brilliant execution and supreme contempt for danger - for example, on one occasion he flew his P-51 Mustang in slow figures of 8 above a target obscured by low cloud, to act as a bomb-aiming mark for his squadron. Cheshire displayed the courage and determination of an exceptional leader.'

Cheshire was, in his day, both the youngest Group Captain in the service and, following his VC, the most decorated. His notable wartime record makes his subsequent career all the more remarkable.

On his 103rd mission, he was official British observer of the nuclear bombing of Nagasaki flying in the support B-29 The Great Artiste, an event which profoundly changed him. On his return from the mission he left the RAF and went home to his house, Le Court in Hampshire.

While deciding what he should do with the rest of his life he heard about the case of Arthur Dykes, who had formerly served under him and was suffering from cancer. Dykes asked Cheshire to give him some land to park a caravan until he recovered, but Cheshire discovered that Dykes was terminally ill and that this fact had been concealed from him. He told Dykes the real position and invited him to stay at Le Court.

Cheshire learned nursing skills and was soon approached to take in a second patient, the 94-year-old bedridden wife of a man whose own frailness meant he could no longer care for her himself. She was followed by others, some coming to stay and others to help. Although Le Court had no financial support, and was financially perilous most of the time, money somehow always seemed to arrive in the nick of time to stave off disaster. By the time Arthur Dykes died in 1948, there were 24 people staying at Le Court.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:02 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

July 1, 2006

Ker-ching - the cost of the EU

Telegraph | News | EU ruling on poison metals to raise cost of electrical goods

A European directive banning poisonous heavy metals from all kinds of electrical and electronic goods including fridges, computers and vacuum cleaners comes into force today.
Experts say that the directive, which represents the largest single change ever to hit the consumer electronics industry, is causing chaos among retailers and is likely to put up prices to consumers by at least five per cent.
Experts say that it is quite likely that consignments of electrical goods already afloat and on their way to Britain could be pronounced illegal the moment they get here today by the National Weights and Measures Laboratory, the enforcement agency.

It is only the flood of cheap stuff from the East that has saved Gordon's back and his inflation figures - luckily for him that will soon hide the 5% rise but we will still have to pay it.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:56 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Bollocks to Blair

BBC NEWS | England | Leicestershire | Man fined for 'rude' Blair shirt

A Leicestershire trader has been fined for displaying shirts bearing a rude slogan about the prime minister.
Tony Wright, 60, from Burton Lazars, was told the shirts could cause alarm or even distress.
He was caught selling them at the Royal Norfolk Show and told to take down his stand. The shirts have the slogan "B******* to Blair" emblazoned on them.
He said he would challenge the £80 fixed penalty the police gave him for causing harassment, alarm and distress.
Mr Wright said: "I am a local country boy - and I don't see anything wrong with me expressing my opinion about Blair.

"The ticket is a joke - it is for causing harassment, alarm and distress and I look forward to fighting it all the way."

Oh happy land we live in now.
I am sure there would be a few people who would contribute to his defence fund - try asking round at No. 11..

Those with long memories will remember this story from last year:

Guy Fawkes' blog of parliamentary plots, rumours and conspiracy: "Bollocks to Blair" is Illegal

Sunday, September 25, 2005
"Bollocks to Blair" is Illegal
Horse & Hound has this article in it. Police arrested a 20-year-old girl gamekeeper for wearing a “Bollocks to Blair” T-shirt at a game fair last weekend.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:47 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 30, 2006

Tough on illegal immigration

Telegraph | News | African five get a map to freedom

Five Eritreans suspected of entering Britain illegally were given a map and told to find their own way to a holding centre because no immigration officials were available, police said yesterday.
The three men and two women were found in Winchester, Hants in a lorry carrying cacti from Spain.
They spent the night in a police station before officers were told that immigration officials in Southampton would not attend. Police were instructed to give them maps and tickets and tell them to catch a train to the centre in Croydon, Surrey.

One police officer said yesterday: "They were nice and polite but we have not got a clue who they are."
A Home Office spokesman would not confirm whether the group had turned up in Croydon.

I'm sure they did, why wouldn't they?

Posted by The Englishman at 6:45 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

And they wonder why they fail to catch any.

Telegraph | News | Police won't chase if thief has no helmet

Police refused to chase a thief who had stolen a moped because the youth was not wearing a helmet, the victim said yesterday.
Max Foster, 18, said officers told him they feared being sued if the thief fell off the moped and injured himself.
The thief escaped on the £1,200 moped, ..
Avon and Somerset police said that aborting a pursuit because the rider was not wearing a helmet was one of the "options available" to officers when "members of the public or the riders themselves could be put in danger".
With regard to the incident on Tuesday, a decision was made to actively search for the stolen moped and inquiries to trace the offenders are still ongoing."

Or he could have said in the immortal words of The Sweet: "Does anyone know the way, did we hear someone say - We just haven't got a clue what to do..."

It is strange how the Avon and Somerset Police have featured here before - the seem to be becoming famous for political correctness and ineffectiveness - are the two connected?

An Englishman's Castle: Careful how you go down Bristol way

Four out of five crimes committed in the Bristol area remain unsolved, according to figures released by Avon and Somerset Constabulary.
Chief Constable Colin Port said he was pleased the force had improved its detection rate which a year ago was the worst outside London

An Englishman's Castle: You're nicked

Avon and Somerset police force has agreed to pay a rejected white male recruit undisclosed compensation after being warned that its recruitment policy might be illegal.

An Englishman's Castle: PC Dragon at work

The landlady of a pub who organised a St George's Day archery competition using the dragon on a Welsh flag as the target has been interviewed by police, after a report of alleged incitement to cause racial hatred.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:37 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 29, 2006

We are doomed.

A complete list of things caused by global warming.

The only omission I can see is my need for a new TV after the last one had something thrown at it because of a BBC documentary on global warming

Posted by The Englishman at 8:33 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 27, 2006

The bed nearest the door

BBC NEWS | England | Lancashire | Staff told 'leave bodies on ward'

Hospital staff in Lancashire have been told to leave corpses in wards because there are not enough porters to move them at night.
Two porters are needed at Queen's Park Hospital in Blackburn to take bodies away to the mortuary.
But recent staff sickness has meant that on occasional nights only one porter has been on duty at the site.

So when the old boy in the next bed croaks it from MRSA - he only came in for his ingrowing toenail - you will have to spend the night next to his flatulating corpse before you are prodded to ask if you want a bowl of warm Rice Crispies and some soggy toast at 5:30 am - it fits in with the shifts. Of course it is a bit inconvenient for his keening relatives but you can't have anyone else apart from a porter help wheel a bed, can you?

I note the NHS trust concerned has a vacant post - I wonder if the appointee would be prepared to roll up his sleeves or just issues some more targets...

Director of Strategy and Implementation
Blackburn, Lancashire
c£95-£100k
Not without challenge but with significant opportunity This exciting new role offers you the chance to transform services and improve the patient experience. You will lead a whole system and health economy approach to identify and deliver significantly changed services and ways of working within both commissioning and provider organisations; that deliver the changes in patient care against an agreed...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:41 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 23, 2006

Where Kim Du Toit leads the country follows

The Pussification Of The Western Male. Kim du Toit

We have become a nation of women.
...
Now, men’s fashion includes not a man dressed in a three-piece suit, but a tight sweater worn by a man with breasts.
...Yes, the men are, by and large, slobs. Big ####### deal. Last time I looked, that’s normal. Men are slobs, and that only changes when women try to civilize them by marriage. That’s the natural order of things.
....
Out there, there is a huge number of men who are sick of it. We’re sick of being made figures of fun and ridicule; we’re sick of having girly-men like journalists, advertising agency execs and movie stars decide on “what is a man”; we’re sick of women treating us like children, and we’re really ####### sick of girly-men politicians who pander to women by passing an ever-increasing raft of Nanny laws and regulations (the legal equivalent of public-school Ritalin), which prevent us from hunting, racing our cars and motorcycles, smoking, flirting with women at the office, getting into fistfights over women, shooting criminals and doing all the fine things which being a man entails.
...
I want our culture to become more male—and not the satirical kind of male, like The Man Show, or the cartoonish figures of Stallone, Van Damme or Schwartzenegger. We want more John Waynes, Robert Mitchums, Bruce Willises, and Clint Eastwoods. Never mind that it’s simplistic— we like simple, we are simple, we are men—our lives are uncomplicated, and we like it that way

Telegraph | News | Beers and cheers as US welcomes back unrepentant slobs

It has been a tough few years for your average beer-guzzling American man. In the name of "metrosexual" fashion they have watched their weight, groomed themselves, and tried to discover their feelings.
But to the relief of many, the American equivalent of the "lad" is making a comeback in this year's crop of films, books and music.

The so-called male renaissance - the "manaissance" - is reflected in this summer's box-office hits where stars with girl appeal are eclipsed by flagrantly unreformed men.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 22, 2006

Wronging Badgers

BBC NEWS | UK | Badger TB vaccine trial launched

Farmers, who cannot interfere with sets on their land because badgers are protected by law, have called on the government for a cull of the animals to protect their herds.

This is plain wrong and the BBC should be censured for it! Badgers live in setts - note the double t! The poor word "set" has enough work to do, with it being the word with the most meanings - up-to 200 according to some! So if you are off to bother a badger remember it is "sett" - it's the law!

Protection of Badgers Act 1992 (c. 51)
Interfering with badger setts.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:38 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

June 21, 2006

Hitting the Hippies with Smith and Wessons

Forgetting the solistice was on I drove through Avebury this morning scattering guitar-strumming soap-dodgers and mangey dogs on strings - Plod was out in force but I didn't see this pair of Smith and Wesson equipped officers...

Saddling Up For Solstice (from This Is Wiltshire)

Marlborough police, officers are about to launch the Blues on Twos.
That's what officers who will be carrying out bicycle patrols during the summer solstice celebrations in Avebury on June 21 are calling themselves.
This year the force is providing the pair with brand new Smith and Wesson all terrain bicycles, which are expected to arrive in Marlborough tomorrow.
PC Andy Sexton, who with PC Simon McLaren-Clark will be carrying out the patrols, said: "We tried it out last year and it was a fantastic success because we were able to hit the solstice people from a very community-based level."

I didn't know S&W made bikes, but I do like the idea of hitting hippies "from a very community-based level" - would that be in the solar plexus region?

Posted by The Englishman at 4:56 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 19, 2006

Injecting Sense into yummy mummies

White, middle-class, loving mums. And their stupitidy could kill your child - Comment - Times Online

“There was no way I was going to let Harry have the MMR — he’s the only child I’m going to have and I don’t want him going autistic on me.”
....
We need to deal with the hysterical middle-class parents who, in the name of love, risk dragging Britain back to an era of high child mortality. The answer lies in education, education, education: we cannot force parents to become scientifically literate, but we can ensure that their children's attendance of schools, state or private, depends on their having had a complete set of jabs. Only then will the well-clad, well-heeled troops turn round their SUVs and beat a retreat.

I'm with her all the way about stupid middle class women and their belief in mumbo jumbo rather than science until she wants to involve compulsion. My skin creeps at the state injecting my children against my will....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:44 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

June 15, 2006

RoSPA Sense

A little bit of danger makes playgrounds lots more fun - Newspaper Edition - Times Online

PLAYGROUNDS must be made more adventurous with an added element of controlled risk if children are to get the best out of them, one of Britain's leading experts on play will say today.
David Yearley, of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, says that an over-concentration on safety in recent years has resulted in the spread of "boring" public play areas, which posed risks of a different kind.

It is when children become bored with spaces that they are supposed to play in that they turn instead to play in really dangerous places, such as along railway lines, river banks and on roads, Mr Yearley is due to tell the society's play safety conference.
...
Mr Yearley also said that over-cautious parents who continually reined in their children could be as much to blame as the equipment for playground boredom.

“As a parent, I want to protect my child from harm. However, if you protect them from any kind of risk, they never build up their ability to assess risk themselves. Then they fail to take that ability into adulthood for tasks such as driving that do involve risk assessment,” he said.

Around 40,000 British children aged under 16, out of a total of 12 million, are injured each year while playing. Playground accidents cause one child death every two to three years.

I have long held a belief that there ought to be a measure of how many kids there are with broken arms. When I were a lad every class had someone in plaster, now it is very rare to see one. My theory is that there is an inverse relationship between broken arms and kids having fun ( to a degree) and that the number is a good indicator of how fulfilling childhoods are. I would guess about 1 child in 30 per annum would be a sensible number to aim for.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:53 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 14, 2006

Calling Tech Support

BONQ.com

Troubleshooting a Hewlett Packard Office Jet
5110x All in One Printer

Posted by The Englishman at 11:50 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Mutton chops

New warning on mutton as brain disease hits sheep - Britain - Times Online

MEAT-EATERS have been told that avoiding mutton, goat and some sausages is the only way to reduce the risks from a new animal brain disease.
Britain's food watchdog admitted yesterday that it could not rule out a risk to human health from the brain disease atypical scrapie, which is similar to BSE.
The advice from the Food Standards Agency raises the most serious concern about the safety of the meat since the discovery of "mad cow" disease in cattle. The new disease is similar to classic scrapie, a brain-wasting disease that has been known in sheep for more than 100 years, but which has never posed health concerns in human beings.

Scrapie was actually first identified in 1732 and has probably been around a lot longer. There is no hint that this "new" type of scrapie is any more dangerous or is in fact new but as ever you can't prove a negative so the Nannies are grabbing at this bit of news - see story below...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:51 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Broccoli? No thanks.

Telegraph | News | Taste for fish and meat is inherited

Children inherit their taste for meat and fish but acquire a liking for vegetables or desserts, researchers say...
Dr Lesley Walker, the charity's director of information, said: "The more we know about this, the better we can understand what leads to bad eating habits, which bring them a whole range of health problems including cancer."
Research has shown 12,000 cases of cancer could be prevented each year if no adults were overweight.

So we naturally like steaks and bacon but have to be programmed into eating our greens! Of course all this means is that the nannies will now redouble their efforts into forcing us to eat more grass because they now know it is not in our nature to do so and so reprogramming us to conform to this brave new world is even harder than they previously thought.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:44 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 13, 2006

Calling Dr. R. Quincy, M.E.

Misty 69 gives us an "customer's" view of our wonderful NHS - must read, and go and wish the best!

Posted by The Englishman at 7:01 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 12, 2006

Going green

Telegraph | News | Fines close bio-fuel company

A firm producing environmentally friendly fuel is being put into liquidation after being fined for pollution.
Global Commodities, which had planned to lead the UK in bio-fuel production, was fined £17,000 in March for noise pollution and £24,000 last month for polluting a drainage ditch with oil. Its chairman, Dennis Thouless, blamed over-regulation for the closure of the company in Shipdham, Norfolk, which has been making 200,000 litres of bio-diesel a week from old cooking oil.
The Americans were now "10 times in front of us, not because of technical knowledge but because we have bureaucrats sitting on our backs".

It's not just the taxes that is discouraging entrepreneurs - i know I've been there.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:42 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 11, 2006

Remember Трофи́м Дени́сович Лысе́нко

Luxuriating in my scented bath anointing myself with the oils of Araby and enjoying a decent hock I was perusing a tome on Michurianism - the official Communist genetic theory based on the "hogwash" of Lysenko. The parallel of how this ideology was propagated by the State because of its ignorance and its usefulness, combined with the persecution of those scientists who dared to question its scientific basis brought to mind the current "debate" on anthropogenic climate change.
It seems to me that there is a very clear "party" line on this and that anyone who strays from it will be denounced as a "denier" and face ostracisation from power and position. A quick Google shows I'm not alone in noticing this parallel though it doesn't seem to have been developed as much as it should have been. And surprisingly, to me at least, it is both sides who accuse the other of Lysenkoism....

Monbiot.com » Blog Archive » Faced With This Crisis

One day we will look back on the effort to deny the effects of climate change as we now look back on the work of Trofim Lysenko.

Lysenko was a Soviet agronomist who insisted that the entire canon of genetics was wrong. ...Lysenko’s hogwash became state policy. He was made director of the Institute of Genetics and president of the Lenin Academy of Agricultural Sciences. He used his position to outlaw conventional genetics, strip its practitioners of their positions and have some of them arrested and even killed. Lysenkoism, which governed state science from the late 1930s until the early 1960s, helped to wreck Soviet agriculture.

No one is yet being sent to the Guantanamo gulag for producing the wrong results. But the denial of climate science in the United States bears some of the marks of Lysenkoism... the official policy of climate change denial, like Lysenkoism, relies on a compliant press.

Telegraph | Money | Personal view: Climate change policy is as clear as good old London fog

There is no scientific consensus behind the UN's explanation of climate change at all. It is the 21st century equivalent of Lysenko's politicised pseudo-science of the Soviet era. And what support there is tends to come from scientists in the pay and/or influence of governments.

Remember Lysenko

Over the past two years, a man named Bjorn Lomborg has been given authority over environmental research, and a great deal of influence over environmental policy, in Denmark. In much the same way that Lysenko rose to power by challenging the legitimacy of an emerging scientific field, Lomborg has achieved a good deal of his power by challenging the legitimacy of environmental science, which like genetics in the 1940s, is still in the process of early development. And like Lysenko in the Soviet Union, Lomborgís influence and authority are not derived from scientific work, but from a kind of technical activity, namely the manipulation of statistics to question the contentions of environmental scientists ñ in Denmark, as well as abroad.
It is now two years since Anders Fogh Rasmussen brought his neo-liberal party to power in Denmark, and already the damage to environmental research and to environmental policy due to the teachings of Bjorn Lomborg are starting to be felt. For in those two years, Lomborg has become one of the most influential advisers to those who make environmental policy in Denmark, at the same time as almost all legitimate environmental scientists in the country have effectively lost their influence over environmental policy.

Posted by The Englishman at 10:21 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 10, 2006

An apology to some American Friends

Water airlift for drivers stuck on M25 - Britain - Times Online

The lorry burst into flames on the anti-clockwise carriageway shortly before 10am...

The clockwise carriageway reopened at about 3pm and the anti-clockwise carriageway shortly before 6pm.

Spent yesterday evening with some very nice Americans who had just arrived in England and then spent their first afternoon stuck on the M25. They very extremely charming about it but incredulous how long it takes us to clear an accident - why don't they just bulldoze the wreck to one side? That is what happens in the States. Of course here the lost opportunity costs of all those poor souls on th motorway count for nothing compared to the importance of the various agencies who have to measure and examine and think about the crash before anything can be done about it.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:26 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Another question for Sir Ian Blair

Telegraph | News | Police set free 'terror raid' brothers

Scotland Yard was facing fierce criticism last night after two brothers arrested in a high profile anti-terrorism raid in east London were released without charge.

As I said nearly a week ago "My bet is these two guys are going to walk free" .....June 5, 2006 06:32 AM. The police had made it obvious by their briefings by then what the outcome was going to be, so why did Sir Ian Blair and team hold onto them for so long?

Posted by The Englishman at 6:18 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 8, 2006

The NHS budget crises - A Modest Proposal

Let doctors kill without consent, says ethics expert - Britain - Times Online

DOCTORS should be allowed to help to kill terminally ill patients with or without their consent, a leading professor of medical ethics said yesterday...

And I don't think this is some Swiftian satire, rather just expressing the growing belief that the system knows what is best for us.
I have no objection to the unspoken and common practice of Doctors "easing" patients they know and understand but like so many things it is best left unformalised, otherwise we will stray in areas of quotas, targets and forms...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:28 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

Knee Jerks in Parliament

Smoking ban 'is based on bad science' - Newspaper Edition - Times Online

The Government takes more notice of scare stories than of evidence, a Lords committee has said

THE ban on smoking in pubs was an over-reaction to the threat posed by passive smoking and symptomatic of MPs' failure to understand the concept of risk, a House of Lords committee has said.
The Lords Economic Affairs Committee accused the Government of kneejerk reactions to scare stories about health, saying it did not weigh the risks. Ministers placed insufficient weight on available scientific evidence and relied instead on "unsubstantiated reports" when formulating policy.

Couldn't have put it better myself, though I think my verdict would have included a few more uses of the word "fuckwits" than their noble Lordships did.

Posted by The Englishman at 1:30 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 7, 2006

A sure fire money making opportunity

Make hard CASH from home while the world is in flames!

Are you an animal lover; and also an atheist, agnostic, jew, muslim, or other non-Christian? If so, you might qualify for the JesusPets Partner Program!

JesusPets will pay YOU to take care of dogs, cats, and other pets. To qualify, you must agree with this statement:
The JesusPets Partner Program Statement
I love animals, and am willing to care for pets after the Christian Rapture.
I am not, and never have been a born-again Christian.
I believe it is immoral to have sex with animals, and have no desire to do so.
I believe it is immoral to consume common domesticated pets (note: this includes goldfish!), and have no desire to do so.
If you agree with, then please contact JesusPets to join our international community of JesusPets Partners...

What is JesusPets?
Who is going to care for your pets after you are raptured into heaven?
Imagine being taken to streets of gold while your dog starves to death walking around in his own feces trapped in your small house or apartment, subject to fire and earthquakes or even being eaten by heathens searching for any remaining morsel of food. Do you want that to happen?

With the imminent collapse of the global economy and rampant godlessness, even the community shelters will not have the resources to care for your poor, hungry animals. So you need to make preparations.

That’s what JesusPets is for. We are assembling a community of heathen pet-lovers to care for pets that are “left-behind.”

Posted by The Englishman at 10:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Light finger licking good

Telegraph | News | KFC meal 'ensures siege man's rights'

A suspected car thief who bombarded police with bricks and tiles during a rooftop siege was given a Kentucky Fried Chicken takeaway meal by officers to ensure his "well-being and human rights".
Police sealed off an area around the three-storey house in Gloucester yesterday after the 26-year-old man began dismantling a chimney and throwing objects at cars and passers-by.
..
A spokesman for Gloucester police said: "He has been demanding various things and one was a KFC bargain bucket. Although he's a nuisance, we still have to look after his well-being and human rights. He's also been given cigarettes."

Any toe-rag on a roof chucking bricks at me wouldn't be treated, if that is the right word, to a KFC meal but something rather smaller, pointier and somewhat harder....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:39 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

June 6, 2006

The real cost of those NHS waiting lists

£12 whip-round at factory saves worker from death - Newspaper Edition - Times Online

A DELIVERY driver's life was saved when his colleagues paid for a brain scan that revealed a life-threatening tumour.
Gary Harris, 38, had been put on a three-month waiting list for an NHS scan but was later told by doctors that he would have died within two weeks had he not had an emergency operation to remove the tumour.
All 60 employees at Park Furnishers, Bristol, paid £12 each - a total of £720 - to cover the cost of having the scan done privately because Mr Harris was convinced that there was something seriously wrong....

Last week staff at Park Furnishers were handed a note with their payslips from Deryn Coller, the company director. At the top was written: “Last month you saved someone’s life.” He also added £20 to everyone’s pay to thank them.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:52 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

NHS hard at work

Mirror.co.uk - News - DOCTOR PAID TO DO SUDOKU QUITS NHS

A CONSULTANT who claimed he was left to play sudoku while operations were cancelled has quit his job in disgust.
Gynaecologist David Penman, 45, said yesterday he faced disciplinary action for speaking out, instead of raising his concerns with bosses.
He quit four days before the hearing was due to go ahead and is now serving his notice.
Mr Penman, who earned £66,000 a year at hard-up Medway Maritime Hospital, in Gillingham, Kent, said: "I admit I flouted the code of conduct - but what's the crime in that?
"My line managers, who I'm meant to raise issues with, are only following orders from above. The issue I have is with the Health Secretary and Tony Blair.
"Blair and the government are deliberately attempting to hide waiting times from the public.
"What's the point of raising concerns with my managers when these policies come from the top? Blair is using people's lives for political purposes."
In March, Mr Penman claimed that urgent operations were being delayed for months because his hospital did not have the cash.
He said then: "At a day care clinic I'd normally see six or even patients. But my boss ould only let me see one....
Blair is the man at the top and it's his decision to set these ridiculous financial targets which everyone in the NHS follows.
"It's also suspicious that in the financial year we had a general election most NHS Trusts have run out of money from trying to rush through operations in the lead-up to that election."

Ah so the managers reputation is more important than getting operations done. Pity he didn't stay a nd shove a copy of the UK Public Interest Disclosure Act (PIDA) up his manager's nose - "The Act came into force on 2nd July 1999. It encourages people to raise concerns about malpractice in the workplace and will help ensure that organisations respond by

addressing the message rather than the messenger; and
resisting the temptation to cover up serious malpractice.
Through protecting whistleblowers from dismissal and victimisation in the following circumstances, the Act promotes the public interest.
The Act applies to people at work raising genuine concerns about .., danger to health and safety.
Wider disclosures (e.g. to the police, the media, MPs, and non-prescribed regulators) are protected if, in addition to the tests for regulatory disclosures, they are reasonable in all the circumstances and they meet one of the three preconditions.

Provided they are not made for personal gain, these preconditions are that the whistleblower:

reasonably believed he would be victimised if he raised the matter internally or with a prescribed regulator,
reasonably believed a cover-up was likely and there was no prescribed regulator; or
had already raised the matter internally or with a prescribed regulator.
...
Where the whistleblower is victimised in breach of the Act he can bring a claim to an employment tribunal for compensation. Awards will be uncapped and based on the losses suffered. Additionally where an employee is sacked, he may apply for an interim order to keep his job.

Gagging clauses in employment contracts and severance agreements are void insofar as they conflict with the Act's protection"

Posted by The Englishman at 6:48 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

PC Dragon at work

Telegraph | News | Pub in trouble for slaying Welsh dragon

The landlady of a pub who organised a St George's Day archery competition using the dragon on a Welsh flag as the target has been interviewed by police, after a report of alleged incitement to cause racial hatred.
Angie Sayer, 50, of the New Inn in Wedmore, Somerset, said she used the Welsh flag as it was the only large picture of a dragon she could find.
She pinned it to the target in the beer garden, and locals in fancy dress used home-made bows and arrows to "slay the dragon".
Officers interviewed her for two hours. "It's lunacy to even suggest I'm a racist," she said.
"It was supposed to be a bit of a giggle."
Police said they would not be taking further action.

As far as I can see they average about 7 crimes a month on that beat and only solve one (16.9%) - actually that 16.9% includes those taken to court and found innocent a nicety that the police ignore. So obviously the excitement of a real "racial hate" crime and an arrestable person got them rushing down the lanes with bell on the Wolseley ringing..

Posted by The Englishman at 6:25 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 5, 2006

Doing their job

Terror raid shooting accidental, say police - Britain - Times Online

THE rules of engagement for armed police are under renewed scrutiny today, after it emerged that the officer involved in the shooting of a suspected terrorist told independent investigators that it was an accident.
The armed officer who led the raid on a suspected chemical bomb factory in East London said that he did not deliberately fire the shot that injured Abul Kahar Kalam, but that his gun went off during a struggle on a staircase.
His evidence is at odds with that of Mr Kahar, 23, who said that there was no tussle and the officer from the SO19 firearms unit did not issue a warning before he was hit as he emerged unarmed from his bedroom, dressed in pyjamas.
His brother, Abul Koyair Kalam, 20, told his lawyer that he denies strenuously reports that he was responsible for the lone shot being fired after grappling with the police during the 4am raid.

The police emphasised that this was an MI5-led operation. They were concerned that the intelligence services appeared to be relying on a single informant. They have until Wednesday to question the brothers without special permission from a magistrate.

Sir Ian Blair, the beleaguered Metropolitan Police Commissioner, is under pressure to give a public assurance on the tactics used by his armed officers. Crown prosecutors are expected to decide by the end of the month whether to bring charges against his officers over the killing of Jean Charles de Menezes, the Brazilian who was mistakenly shot as a terrorist on July 22 last year.

It is understood that investigators from the Independent Police Complaints Commission were told that there was a struggle in the darkness during last Friday’s raid and that the Heckler & Koch sub-machinegun went off and the bullet lodged in the ceiling. A Scotland Yard source told The Times: “The officer is insistent he did not pull the trigger.”

The safety catch was off and the officer was wearing gloves and a bulky chemical and biological protection suit after intelligence warnings that there could be lethal materials hidden inside the terraced house...

The lawyers for the two brothers are demanding to know why 250 officers raided their home. Both men deny any involvement in terrorism. Mr Koyair told his lawyer: “I am angry this happened to me but pleased police are doing their job.”

That whirring sound you hear is the sound of backpedaling as stories are retracted, blame is being shifted and Sir Ian Blair is scratching his head yet again. My bet is these two guys are going to walk free with a cheque for compensation, I may be wrong but that is the way the briefings are going at the moment...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:32 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

The knife amnesty at work...

Telegraph | News | 'I owe my life to brave men who stabbed dog'

A young woman severely injured in an attack by a friend's bull mastiff said she owed her life to the two men who wrestled with the dog and stabbed it to death.

Home Office | Turn in your knives to police

A clear cut message from the knife amnesty - hand your knife in to the police now.

Home Office Minister Vernon Coaker said, "The message of this campaign is simple - if you think you're protecting yourself by carrying a knife, you're not...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:24 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 4, 2006

U or non-U?

Name check reveals a new pecking order - Sunday Times - Times Online

To check the social standing of your surname, go to www.spatial-literacy.org/UCLnames/Surnames.aspx

After clicking on "1998", tapping in your name and pressing "find", click through to "geographical location" - status can be found in the "social demographics" box

The academics have adapted their research to create a “snobs online” database that enables anyone to type in their surname and find out what proportion of the population is above them on the class ladder.

A glance at the cabinet shows that Tony Blair has outshone the mass of Blairs in the country, who rank below 86% of the population. John Prescott, who has risen from the working class to become a croquet-playing deputy prime minister, has a surname outranked by 78% of the population.

The database also allows users to check how many people share their surname and the parts of the country where they live. The social status of first names has also been analysed, although this cannot yet be checked by users of the internet database. The academics found that Rosamund, Piers and Giles are near the top of the pecking order, while Kayleigh and Dwayne have least cachet.

My Results:

Category of surname - English - Nickname; Creature; Bird
Mosaic type with highest index # Sepia Memories
Index of top Mosaic type * 210
% of people with a more rural name 6
% of people with a more high-status name 2
Cultural, Ethnic, Linguistic categories of surname British

So I think that means I have an English name which only 2% have a posher one and only 6% a more rural one. Sounds fair enough to me!
And I belong to the Sepia Memories group - which seems to expect me to be a doddering old boy living in a bungalow on the coast with a set routine -
" Although likely to be nearing the ends of busy lives spent working and raising families, they are not yet giving up on their enjoyment of life and believe in keeping busy and mentally alert. Their age affords them a certain amount of freedom to enjoy life without worrying about the future unduly, and their free time means they can do things on the spur of the moment if they so choose.
Their day may well start with the delivery of their favourite newspaper – the same title they have probably taken for years. More than just a source of news, this provides amusement in the form of crosswords and other puzzles, competitions and so on. Magazines may play a similar role. The radio may be switched on, for companionship as much as anything, and this does mean that these consumers are kept well in touch with contemporary events and trends. Television viewing may centre around informative programmes, light entertainment and Songs of Praise.
As is to be expected, the focus of much consumption activity is on improving daily life and the quest for comfort and pleasure. This starts with careful eating habits, for example, avoiding additives, eating plenty of fibre and sticking to light meals. Thriftiness is one of the characteristics of this generation and careful consideration will be given to expenditure. However, years of ‘looking after the pennies’ has paid off for many, and they can afford to treat themselves when they want to – and they may well do so." Source
Not quite - yet....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:50 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 3, 2006

One to try on with her indoors...

Wedding rings reduce male power and develop impotence - Pravda.Ru

A wedding ring, which many men constantly wear on the fourth finger, may initiate a variety of sexual disorders and eventually end up with partial or even complete impotence. A recent research work conducted by Belarussian scientists revealed that widespread beliefs of losing strong virility after many years of wearing the wedding ring on the ring finger are based on certain scientific reasons.
”Any educated person probably may remember the so-called right hand screw rule from the course of physics: when the electric conductor moves into a closed circuit, the self-induction EMF (electromotive force) with a certain vector occurs in it. Similarly, the nerves in human fingers can be compared to the conductor, while the wedding ring acts like a closed circuit.
”If a finger is placed in the ring circuit, the latter intensifies the flow of specific energy in the finger. Some people may probably know that the so-called kidney meridian passes the fourth finger. The energy flows to the Swadhishthana charka (Self or Own Abode) which supervises the urogenital system and the sexual sphere to a certain extent.
”If a man takes his wedding ring off periodically, the positive effect of the energy current on the sexual sphere manifests itself explicitly. However, if a man wears the ring all the time, the situation may change for the worse."

Posted by The Englishman at 5:52 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

June 2, 2006

Outrageous Swedish Models - Pictures that would be banned in the UK

Looking round the web this morning I stumbled across these outrageous pictures of some models from Sweden (no- I'm not pulling your leg with railway models or similar, these are real humans) posing in some amazing action shots out in the countryside. They are too risky for showing in Britain so I will just give you the links if you are broad-minded enough!

Foxy Swedish Model

Hog tied Swedish model

Posted by The Englishman at 10:10 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Rules is rules

Banned by half-baked bureaucracy - Britain - Times Online

HE WAS born before the discovery of antibiotics and survived the Depression and two world wars, yet staff at a day centre run by Age Concern decided that it was too much of a risk to let him eat a slice of home-made birthday cake.
The Madeira cake was baked for the 96-year-old man by Elaine Richards, a retired district nursing sister and a member of the Women's Institute.

But when Mrs Richards, who is in her 70s, tried to deliver the cake to her elderly friend, who does not wish to be identified, her contribution to the birthday fare was rejected because of food and hygiene rules.

She was told by staff at the day centre in Barnstaple, North Devon, that only shop-bought cakes were acceptable.

Andrea Scott, from Age Concern, apologised for upsetting Mrs Richards, but said that food regulation guidelines had to be followed to protect people in her care.

“ If I let one person do this, it will open the floodgates,” she said.

“We don’t know where these cakes come from, but if something went wrong then we could be sued. It’s not about ingredients, it’s about having things from a shop.”

She added: “I did apologise and I am very sorry for her but I had to abide by the rules.”

WHAT’S IN THE MIX

Elaine Richards’s cake ingredients: 9oz (255g) flour, 6oz unsalted butter, 6oz sugar, milk, three eggs, candied peel, lemon zest

The shop equivalent: wheat flour, egg white, sugar, vegetable margarine (hydrogenated vegetable oil, water, salt, emulsifier (E475) colours (E100, E106B flavourings), glucose-fructose syrup, humectant, vegetable glycerine, vegetable and hydrogenated vegetable oil, emulsifiers: E471, E475, egg, baking powder (raising agents E450, E500) colour (E170), wheat flour, salt, invert sugar syrup, skimmed milk powder; preservatives: E202, E200, flavourings, soya, flour, stabiliser: E415, dried egg white, colours E104, E124

As I face my decrepitude the thought of being incarcerated in one of these "caring" homes run by hatchet-face harridans enforcing stupid rules is too much to bear..

When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.

(from Kipling's THE YOUNG BRITISH SOLDIER - see below)

THE YOUNG BRITISH SOLDIER

When the 'arf-made recruity goes out to the East
'E acts like a babe an' 'e drinks like a beast,
An' 'e wonders because 'e is frequent deceased
Ere 'e's fit for to serve as a soldier.

Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
So-oldier OF the Queen!

Now all you recruities what's drafted to-day,
You shut up your rag-box an' 'ark to my lay,
An' I'll sing you a soldier as far as I may:
A soldier what's fit for a soldier.
Fit, fit, fit for a soldier . . .

First mind you steer clear o' the grog-sellers' huts,
For they sell you Fixed Bay'nets that rots out your guts--
Ay, drink that 'ud eat the live steel from your butts--
An' it's bad for the young British soldier.
Bad, bad, bad for the soldier . . .

When the cholera comes--as it will past a doubt--
Keep out of the wet and don't go on the shout,
For the sickness gets in as the liquor dies out,
An' it crumples the young British soldier.
Crum-, crum-, crumples the soldier . . .

But the worst o' your foes is the sun over'ead:
You must wear your 'elmet for all that is said:
If 'e finds you uncovered 'e'll knock you down dead,
An' you'll die like a fool of a soldier.
Fool, fool, fool of a soldier . . .

If you're cast for fatigue by a sergeant unkind,
Don't grouse like a woman nor crack on nor blind;
Be handy and civil, and then you will find
That it's beer for the young British soldier.
Beer, beer, beer for the soldier . . .

Now, if you must marry, take care she is old--
A troop-sergeant's widow's the nicest I'm told,
For beauty won't help if your rations is cold,
Nor love ain't enough for a soldier.
'Nough, 'nough, 'nough for a soldier . . .

If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, be loath
To shoot when you catch 'em--you'll swing, on my oath!--
Make 'im take 'er and keep 'er:that's Hell for them both,
An' you're shut o' the curse of a soldier.
Curse, curse, curse of a soldier . . .

When first under fire an' you're wishful to duck,
Don't look nor take 'eed at the man that is struck,
Be thankful you're livin', and trust to your luck
And march to your front like a soldier.
Front, front, front like a soldier . . .

When 'arf of your bullets fly wide in the ditch,
Don't call your Martini a cross-eyed old bitch;
She's human as you are--you treat her as sich,
An' she'll fight for the young British soldier.
Fight, fight, fight for the soldier . . .

When shakin' their bustles like ladies so fine,
The guns o' the enemy wheel into line,
Shoot low at the limbers an' don't mind the shine,
For noise never startles the soldier.
Start-, start-, startles the soldier . . .

If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white,
Remember it's ruin to run from a fight:
So take open order, lie down, and sit tight,
And wait for supports like a soldier.
Wait, wait, wait like a soldier . . .

When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.

Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
So-oldier of the Queen!

Posted by The Englishman at 6:42 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Sacrificed to the God of Modernity

Oxford on course to hand over the reins to outsiders - Britain - Times Online

OXFORD UNIVERSITY is to press ahead with proposals to end almost 900 years of self-government.
A "white paper" published yesterday set out plans to reduce the size of the governing council from 26 to 15, with a majority of members coming from outside the university for the first time in its history.
Business leaders, politicians and other public figures would be invited to join the council,...

Mr Lambert made clear that Oxford’s collegiate structure was an obstacle to changes that were necessary if the university was to maintain its world-class status and contribute fully to the British economy.
....
The working party has sought to ease acceptance of the reforms by stating that Lord Patten of Barnes, the Chancellor of the university, would chair the new council “in his personal capacity” for the first five years.

No surprise to see Fatty Pang's greasy fingers all over the plans for another sell out of a great British institution. Now the Traitor Ted Heath is roasting down below Chris Patten has inherited that special place in my heart, and I keep my opinions of him always to hand as I do that length of well-oiled hempen rope with his name on it.

After 900 successful years you could argue the system works very well but in this new exciting era we live in nothing, absolutely nothing, is deemed good enough not to be mauled over by consultants and experts and redesigned and refocused and all the rest of the management-speak bollocks. You only have see what an outstanding success nuLabour's constant tinkering with our institutions has been...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 1, 2006

Gallows humour?

Deadly serious - or gallows humour? - Britain - Times Online

THE macabre tale of a Suffolk craftsman who sold handcarved gallows to despotic regimes such as those in Zimbabwe and Libya gripped the world's media...

BBC and Sky News sent crews to the village of Mildenhall to film him inside his pet-food shop. Amnesty International accused him of making “a mockery of the UK’s efforts to oppose the death penalty around the world”.

Glowering behind his bushy beard, Mr Lucas posed defiantly next to gallows outside his shop, and explained that he had been selling execution equipment for ten years. “It is for law and order, not for bad people to get hold of. You are safer on the streets of Libya and African countries than you are here,” he told reporters.

But now it is the veracity of Mr Lucas that hangs in the balance. His business partner has come forward to claim that the story is an elaborate hoax.

I thought there was something odd about that story when I highlighted it, but with him being from Suffolk anything could be true.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:35 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 31, 2006

The idealism of the young

Breaking News - powered by Press Association

Young people are twice as likely to show respect to someone in a uniform than are the older generation, the survey by G4S Security Services (UK) reveals. While a quarter of 16-to 24-year-olds said they have respect for a person wearing a uniform just 13% of 55-64 years olds agreed.

But what sort of uniform? G4S used to be known as Securicor and is the largest supplier of uniformed jobs-worths in the country. I have a feeling this question isn't about respecting proper people in uniform but instead shows that older people have come to despise all the make believe forces who order us about in car parks and shopping centres.

I tried to buy a bench once in B&Q and the only one left was the display model. which the manager refused to let me buy. So I walked out the entrance - the cashier said - "You can't go out that way". I pointed out to her that I could, and I would, the word she had be looking for was "mustn't". Her reply was a puzzled "eh" and I was then chased across the car park by a security goon who insisted that I went back into the store and left the "proper" way. I asked him what he was accusing me of and how was he going to make me. The fact I wasn't respecting his cheap man-made fibre suit and cardboard hat perplexed him and he eventually moved out the way before I ran over his foot.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:50 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

As we were saying...

BBC NEWS | UK | Trust mulls 'deer hunting' return

Hunts may be a humane way of dealing with sick deer, the NT says

Deer hunting with hounds may be allowed on National Trust sites as the best way to deal with sick and injured animals.

"At the moment it is not easy to isolate them and shoot them, so this may be a way of drawing out the sick deer and despatching them effectively and quickly."

Posted by The Englishman at 6:15 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

May 30, 2006

Climate Change - all the answers.

CBBC Newsround | World | Hotseat: Our climate expert answers your questions

We got Dr Myles Allen, a climate expert, to answer any questions you might have about global warming, whether the weather's getting worse, do we really need to recyle etc.

Amber, 13, Shrewsbury: "Is there any way to stop global warming?"
Dr Allen: "Absolutely there is. Essentially all we have to do is stop emitting greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere. It's that simple. ...

So there are no other possible causes in the equation, never been global warming in the past - or even on Mars then?

Max, 12, Bracknell: "When will we see the effects of global warming in the UK?"
Dr Allen: "Well lots of people remember that hot summer we had in 2003, and we've looked at that and worked out that human influence did play a role in increasing the risk of a summer like that one.

Now lots of people like hot weather in the summer, but don't forget that summer across Europe, killed more than 20,000 people."

And they died either because they couldn't afford the right technology for air conditioning for instance or else they were French and it was August and the doctors are all on holiday. -

Helen, 12, South Shields: "What can I do to help climate change?"
Dr Allen: The main thing that people have to realise is that eventually this problem is going to get solved. It's either our generation that's going to solve it, or Helen's generation, or her children, and every generation that you put off the decision to do something about the problem, it puts up the cost by a factor of a hundred or more.

So that's the choice that really has to be made. So Helen needs to talk to her parents about whether her parents are going to solve the problem cheaply, or leave it for her to solve much more expensively, or, Heaven forbid, for her to put it off to her children and leave them with a very big bill indeed

So piss off now and go and pester your mum and dad - I'm a very important scientist and I have some work to do as I am a "Review Editor for the chapter on predictions of global climate change for the IPCC Fourth Assessment Report". What else did you expect with those facile and insulting answers?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:44 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Blame Cyril the Squirrel

CBBC Newsround | Animals | Wild animals threaten songbirds

Grey squirrels and wild cats are wiping out the UK's songbird population, according to a new report.
The charity SongBird Survival wants the government to step in to protect the birds before numbers decline further.
It's estimated that overall some 180m adult songbirds or their eggs and young are killed by mammals every year - mainly by squirrels, cats and rats.

A surprise - The RSPB has been telling us it was due to "Climate Change" or wicked farmers - of course this being CBBC there is no suggestion of what should be done to control these pests...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:34 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Agreeing with the wooden top

BBC NEWS | Wales | Gore in Hay climate change plea

Sounds like a sensible call - If I recall correctly Hay on Wye is up on the middle of the Welsh border, lovely green countryside but that is because it rains 340 days a year and snows the rest. So Al has got it right, change Hay's climate and it would be a much better place to visit, though there would still be lots of Welsh people there...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:59 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 26, 2006

The Filthy NHS - wonder of the world (tm).

Telegraph | News | NHS hospitals are getting dirtier despite promises, claim patients

Standards of cleanliness in hospitals are falling despite Government promises to tackle dirty wards, a survey showed yesterday.
Only 52 per cent of the patients said their ward had been "very clean" last year compared with 56 per cent in 2002.
Less than half - 46 per cent - described lavatories as "very clean" compared with 51 per cent three years before

Independent Online Edition > Health Medical

Deaths from 'dirty hospital bug' double in five years
By Jeremy Laurance, Health Editor
Published: 26 May 2006
The hospital bug Clostridium difficile is causing more than twice as many deaths as it did five years ago, the first official figures show.
Inadequate infection control measures in hospitals and declining levels of cleanliness are believed to be behind the rise. Increased reporting of cases has also contributed.
The Healthcare Commission, the Government's NHS watchdog, warned last December that more than a third of NHS trusts had failed to implement government guidelines aimed at curbing infections of C.difficile.
Today the commission is to publish a survey of hospital patients that suggests standards of cleanliness have fallen.
The first report on deaths linked with C.Difficile published yesterday by the Office for National Statistics, show they rose from 975 in 1999 to 2,247 in 2004.
In more than half the cases (55 per cent) C.difficile was identified as the underlying cause of death. In the remainder, it was a "contributory factor".
That is more than twice the number of deaths linked to MRSA, the antibiotic resistant superbug. C.difficile is a bacterium that causes severe diarrhoea and mainly affects elderly patients.

MRSA and hospital acquired infection in private hospitals

The increase in MRSA infection in NHS hospitals is a growing concern for both doctors and patients.

MRSA (methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus) is a type of bacteria which has become increasingly resistant to antibiotics. MRSA infection has become increasingly difficult to treat, and can lead to death.

The number of cases of MRSA has been rising sharply - from 2,422 in 1997 in England and Wales, to 7,684 in 2003/4 in England alone. Official figures show that about 15% of reported cases result in death.

The following data on hospital infection rates in private hospitals has been collected by the Independent Healthcare Forum. (A full copy of the IHF position paper on MRSA and hospital acquired infection can be downloaded here

And the conclusion is that private hospitals have much lower rates - apart from when they get patients in from NHS hospitals, because they are clean, they use single rooms and they bloody well care.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:56 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 25, 2006

What a drag

Telegraph | News | Woman wins right to sunbathe naked

An occupational therapist has been given the right to continue sunbathing naked in her back garden after a court cleared her of indecent exposure.
Lynett Burgess, 55.....

Euuggh! Why is it always the old dried up wrinklies with their dugs like two empty crocodile purses and arses that droop like two half filled hessian potato sacks that want to parade their body? - Pictures though I wouldn't recommend them without a strong restorative drink to hand.
Why can't a brace of Scandinavian twenty year olds want to exercise their rights next door?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:02 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Media Studies - from Hero to Zero in a week

A quick Technorati Search: Mark Inglis shows a fascinating example of how a story "turns". Eight days ago Mark Inglis was "a hero and inspiration to all" with his feat of climbing Everest on tin legs. His passing by on the other side of a dying man was just one of those things. Yesterday I blogged on it and basically called him a dispicable shit for doing so - a lot of others have done the same in the last 24 hours and it is now all over the MSM. It will be interesting to watch the story develop further.

Blogosphere posts that contain Mark Inglis per day for the last 30 days.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:50 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 23, 2006

From whence cometh my help?

Telegraph | News | Abandoned in the 'death zone'

Mark Inglis, the double amputee who conquered Everest last week, yesterday defended his party's decision to carry on to the summit despite coming across a dying British climber.
As his team climbed through the "death zone", the area above 26,000ft where the body begins to shut down, they passed David Sharp, 34, a stricken British climber who later died. His body remains on the mountain.
Mr Inglis, 47, a New Zealander, said: "At 28,000ft it's hard to stay alive yourself. He was in a very poor condition, near death. We talked about [what to do for him] for quite a lot at the time and it was a very hard decision.
"About 40 people passed him that day, and no one else helped him apart from our expedition. Our Sherpas gave him oxygen. He wasn't a member of our expedition, he was a member of another, far less professional one."

There is something very odd about mountaineers - as well as their fingers and toes they also seem to lose part of their humanity - to "pass by on the otherside" a dying man so you can tick off having reached the top of a mountain is plain wrong and I hope will haunt them for the rest of their lives.
Even if they couldn't have physically helped him they could have comforted him, to die alone with people passing is a damning testament to those tourists.

Psalms chapter 121
King James Version
1 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
2 My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.
3 He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
4 Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.
6 The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.
8 The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:51 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

The old slapper rides again

Madonna crosses a line but antics fail to shock - World - Times Online

MADONNA'S world tour began in typically provocative fashion when the pop singer hung from a cross, shouted an obscenity at an image of President Bush, showed video footage that seemed to compare Tony Blair to Adolf Hitler, and writhed around on a device that combined a horse's saddle with a stripper's pole.
As if that were not enough, the singer also wore a crown of thorns,.. and even briefly played the electric guitar. Early reviews of the event on Sunday night were positive, but the show failed to produce the reaction so beloved by Madonna: shock.

I must admit I am surprised - her attempting to play an instrument is quite unexpected, never in the history of entertainment has anyone with such little talent fooled so many people for so long. But the rest of her targets are so boringly obvious, now if instead of putting a crown of thorns on her head she had put a towel on with a fake beard (or she could not have bothered to shave) and made some derogatory remarks about the Religion of Peace then that would have been shocking, and brave...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:34 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 19, 2006

Porridge with lots of cream on top.

£2.8m award for prisoner who tried to kill himself - Newspaper Edition - Times Online

COMPENSATION payments to prisoners have doubled in the last year to more than £4 million, while the total legal bill to the Prison Service has reached £20 million a year, The Times has learnt.

One prisoner received £2.8 million compensation after a failed suicide attempt, which is equal to the previous prison service record payout in 2002.
The payment was made in an out-of-court settlement to a prisoner who self-harmed and claimed for miscellaneous injury against the Prison Service. The service estimates that the costs alone of the case will be more than £1 million.

See - that what's happens when nobody listens to me. If the cell had been equipped with a hook in the ceiling and strong length of rope, he wouldn't have botched it and it would have saved us all a lot of money. Penny pinching by the prision authorities must stop, get the cells properly fitted out.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:33 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 18, 2006

You're not from around here are you?

Telegraph | News | Councils may be allowed to stop sales of second homes

Councils in picturesque rural areas such as the South West, north Norfolk and the Lake District would get a veto over houses being bought up as second homes under proposals made by a Government commission yesterday.

They don't want Townies, or even worse Darkies, coming down to their parts exciting the women and stealing the sheep, or the other way around. So in a meaningless geasture they are happy to trash a thousand years of property rights, the most basic underpinning of a free and prosperous society, to gratify their Nimby bigots.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:39 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 17, 2006

Every cloud...

With the news that Heather and Paul are splitting I hope a bit of luck may fall on an old friend of this blog, and writer of the Dear Hugh letters, Geoff Baker. As I mentioned before he was sacked at Heather's insistance:

An Englishman's Castle: Sacked again

"The major problem was that Heather felt Geoff was a bad influence on Paul. She did not agree with the rock'n'roll lifestyle and she knew Geoff was always sneaking off for a spliff. She didn't want Paul to indulge in that sort of lifestyle."

If you believe the press she has a serious problem -
Paul and Heather apart 'after rows over fame' | the Daily Mail

She is angry that he gets so much adulation from fans and is one of the most famous people on the planet, while she feels she should get just as much respect for being a model and campaigner.

Yeh right!
Still the radio is saying she can expect to walk away with £150 million...

Posted by The Englishman at 12:20 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Choose your Doctor carefully

You can get quick surgery abroad - and charge the NHS, court rules - Britain - Times Online

PATIENTS who are forced to wait longer than doctors would advise for NHS treatment can travel abroad for care and reclaim the cost after a landmark court ruling.
The European Court of Justice said yesterday that the NHS must refund the cost of foreign care if patients endure "undue delays" for surgery in Britain

Leaving aside how the envy of the world and "quite superb" NHS with is zillions of punds of taxpayer's money and quadrillions of staff can be out performed by a shoulder-shrugging Gaulouis-smoking beret-wearing onion seller working out of the back of a Cafe the important lesson to be learnt is to get your doctor on your side. When "Despite having arthritis and being in constant pain, (you are) told that (you) would have to wait for a year for a “routine” operation at (your) local hospital in Bedford." go back to you GP and get a "Clinical Opinion" that this is unreasonable - what inducements you choose is up to you, he might actually do it because he is a decent chap - and then book yourself a flight to somewhere warm and the beds are available.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:21 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Careful how you go down Bristol way

You may remember the small row over how Avon and Somerset Police were choosing new recruits - on diversity grounds rather than on suitability :

An Englishman's Castle: Don't get mugged in Bath

The Police Federation, which represents rank and file officers, accused Avon and Somerset of positive discrimination in a recent recruitment drive. It claimed that the force turned down some strong candidates on grounds of race or gender.The force confirmed the majority of the rejected applications were white males.
Paul Hazel, Avon and Somerset's head of personnel and training, said: "The majority of those deselected were white men because the force's workforce is over-represented by white men."

While the Rozzers have been fussing over their quotas the scrotes have been making free...

BBC NEWS | England | Somerset | Four out of five crimes unsolved

Four out of five crimes committed in the Bristol area remain unsolved, according to figures released by Avon and Somerset Constabulary.
Chief Constable Colin Port said he was pleased the force had improved its detection rate which a year ago was the worst outside London

At a 23% detection rate I wouldn't use the word pleased....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:55 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 15, 2006

Scum

Family of dead miner offered £7 as lawyers earn £41m - Britain - Times Online

James Cowan's father began work aged 14. He died after spending almost half a century underground. In return, his family have been offered only £7.13 in compensation

...the law firm that handled their claim has earned £41 million.

In total 293,000 claimants have received money under the scheme, which was set up after the courts ordered British Coal to pay compensation to miners with respiratory disease caused by the inhalation of coal dust.

New parliamentary figures show that more than half of them — 166,000 — have received below £2,000, less than the scheme allows in legal fees for each claim that is handled.

More than 58,000 miners were paid less than £1,000, of whom almost 4,000 banked a cheque for less than £100.

Dealing with the claims of the 3,949 miners who each received less than £100 cost the taxpayer £15.3 million, of which less than £400,000 went to the claimants. Thirteen law firms have been paid more than £10 million each for their work.

Henry VI, part 2 - Act 4, Scene 2 by William Shakespeare

BEVIS O miserable age! virtue is not regarded in handicrafts-men.

HOLLAND The nobility think scorn to go in leather aprons.

BEVIS Nay, more, the king's council are no good workmen.
...
BEVIS Then is sin struck down like an ox, and iniquity's throat cut like a calf.
...
DICK The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:04 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

May 11, 2006

What's up Doc?

GLOSSARY OF YORKSHIRE MEDICAL TERMS
This guide was devised by Dr Lis Rodgers, GP and Chair of the Professional Executive Committee to assist European Doctors coming to work in the South Yorkshire area.
All the words and phrases included in this guide are those which have been used by patients during consultations and have been included to assist doctors who do not speak English as a first language. Whilst these phrases are in common use locally, readers should be aware that some people may find them offensive, however, demand to view the guide has been high, and for this reason it has been posted on the website.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The Flying Squad

BBC NEWS | England | Dorset | Blue Tits make police 'stub out'

"We have put tape up, coned the area off and put a notice up warning people.
"The last thing the birds want is to be disturbed by lots of nosy police officers."

Ah, how different it is now in the caring sharing police, birds that lay eggs are now protected; there was a time when only one sort of bird was considered by the boys - "We're The Sweeney son and we haven't had any dinner yet, you've kept us waiting, now unless you want a kicking...Get your trousers on - you're nicked!"

Posted by The Englishman at 6:30 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 10, 2006

Award that woman a rolling pin!

Woman gave burglar a panning - Newspaper Edition - Times Online

A woman who battered a burglar with a saucepan has been praised by a judge who said that many people would be disappointed that she had not hit him harder.
Laura Partington, 23, reached for the weapon in self-defence when she found a man in her bedroom. Ibrahim El- Hamady, who lived in the flat above Miss Partington's in Gloucester, had just ransacked her jewellery box. She laid into him so enthusiastically that the pan broke. She then went back to the kitchen to fetch another one. After chasing the 20-year-old burglar from her flat, she knocked him off his bicycle and dragged him in front of a closed-circuit television camera, where she held him until police arrived.

Good for her, and good for the judge!

Posted by The Englishman at 6:31 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

May 8, 2006

Microsoft Office 2006 is coming!

Pity it doesn't seem to have a spell checker!

Posted by The Englishman at 11:05 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Stop me and no longer buy one

Why ice-cream vans face total meltdown - Britain - Times Online

FOR 60 years the tinny jingle of Greensleeves that announced the arrival of the ice-cream van has been an indelible memory of childhood, but that sound may soon be removed from suburban streets. Health lobbyists have decided that ice-creams are too much of a danger to children's health.

MPs and health officials are planning a series of measures across the country that are already forcing Mr Whippy and his helpers into meltdown.
Under an amendment to the Education and Inspection Bill to be put forward this week,.....

One dietitian told The Times that a ban on ice-cream vans near schools would be a draconian policy that may drive children to buy even less healthy foods at nearby shops.

Catherine Collins, the chief dietitian at St George’s Hospital, Tooting, south London, said: “This is the kind of blanket ban that gives the health lobby a bad name. A healthy diet can factor in a sugary treat such as an ice-cream. It is the frequency of that treat that is an issue. Most choices from an ice-cream van would provide fewer calories and fat compared to a free choice from a newsagent.”

And so the madness continues. Are children allowed to enjoy childhood anymore? Life is for living not just for prolonging! And this is the "horrific" truth of obesity:

BBC NEWS | Health | Obesity 'could cut US life spans'

The obesity epidemic in the US may cut life expectancy, a study says.
Researchers said based on the current obesity levels life spans could fall by between four months and nine months.

A lifetime of boredom and guilt and you may dribble your soup for an extra winter! HL Mencken defined Puritanism as "The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy." Maybe that should be the new motto of our health fascist leaders.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:25 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

May 5, 2006

Calling Mr FM...

BBC NEWS | England | Gloucestershire | Fierce pheasant has farmer on run

An aggressive pheasant is locked in a vicious territorial battle with the farmer who owns the field he lives in.

The brutal bird dives on cattle farmer Ted Cull every time he tries to go into the field at his farm in Winchcome in Gloucestershire.

Pecking and squawking, the bird - nicknamed "My Mate" by Mr Cull - chases the 78-year-old away.

His avian attacks have even drawn blood, leaving the farmer afraid to go near his own field.

A spokesman for the RSPB said the bird's behaviour was likely be a case of the bird being over-protective of his territory.

"The best thing to do is to avoid the bad tempered bird until the danger has passed."

I know it is out of season but it strikes me that there may be an even better way to deal with the problem....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:50 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 30, 2006

Reality check at Tesco

Telegraph | News | Tesco gets both barrels for giving hunt snaps too much exposure

A deer hunter who took his photographs to a supermarket for processing was shocked to find himself reported to police.

Although the sport is legal, Tesco gave his details to officers who questioned him for several hours.

Staff deemed photographs of him with his gun and a deer he had shot "inappropriate", although he had broken no animal cruelty or firearms laws.

ADVERT

If venison is more to your liking check out Tesco Finest British Venison casserole. Wild venison in a rich port and peppercorn sauce with carrots, baby onions and roasted button mushrooms is so easy to cook just put into a pre-heated oven for about 40 minutes. Or if speed is essential it can be ready to serve from the microwave oven in less than 9 minutes. That's fast! Simply pop the meal in the oven, pour a glass of wine and settle down for a super supper.

I hope MR FM doesn't use Tesco for his prints...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:49 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

April 29, 2006

Farm girls

White Sun of the Desert » Well, I'll be blowed!has been researching my old friend Angel Long - a girl from my part of the world - in fact I have blogged about her before. I hadn't realised she has starred in 300 films and I haven't seen one yet...

Posted by The Englishman at 8:56 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

April 24, 2006

Safe in our beds

Wiltshire news,

CRIMES of violence in Wiltshire have shot up by 23 per cent in the past year, it was revealed in new figures presented to the county's police authority last week.
The figures show that violent crimes rose by 1,584 offences to a total of 8,369, during the period from April 2005 to last month.
It was the biggest increase in recorded crime during the year but there were also rises in the number of offences of theft and handling, criminal damage, drugs and non-domestic burglaries.
Overall, crime in the county rose by 2,105 offences, 5.3 per cent, to a total of 42,181 crimes.
But police are quick to emphasise that, when these are expressed as crimes per head of population, Wiltshire still has one of the lowest number of crimes in England and Wales and "remains one of safest counties in which to live, work and visit".

Wiltshire Police News reports:
Assistant Chief Constable Peter Vaughan said:

'During the last year, crime has continued to fall in the key areas of burglary and vehicle crime and although some areas of crime show an increase, this is largely due to our proactive approach to policing these issues. Our continued focus on drug misuse and violent behaviour actually leads to an increase in the numbers of these crimes, as, for every person we arrest for violent behaviour, for every person we arrest for dealing or using drugs, an offence is created and recorded as such'.

Latest Wiltshire Constabulary News Article

As part of a combined effort to combat hate crime across Wiltshire, an Equality and Diversity web page is successfully up-and-running, thanks to the Community Safety team at Wiltshire Police.

It is all so reassurring isn't it, violent crime rates souring, but that is only because they are curing the problem, and if someone is horrible to me I can log on and report it...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:48 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 22, 2006

Sign on the dotted

The People's Petition

The People's Petition was set up by the Coalition for Medical Progress after it was approached by David Taylor. David wanted to give people the opportunity to register their support for medical progress and for those who work to achieve it. Like the majority of the population of Great Britain, David recognises that a small percentage of medical research requires animal studies.

Posted by The Englishman at 10:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 21, 2006

A toast is in order

BBC NEWS | England | Southern Counties | WWI veteran honoured by home town

Britain's oldest known World War I veteran wiped away a tear as he was awarded the freedom of the seaside town where he has lived for 40 years.
Henry Allingham, 109, was handed a scroll, a badge of honour and a bottle of malt whisky by Graham Marsden, Mayor of Eastbourne in East Sussex.
Mr Allingham said the whisky, along with "cigarettes and wild, wild women", was the secret of his long life.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The Right Stuff

Key saves grandfather from bullet - Newspaper Edition - Times Online

A grandfather of nine was saved by his keys when he was shot as he challenged two armed robbers. The bullet was deflected by his house keys and when he realised that he was not injured the former member of the Royal Corps of Signals grabbed a rock and attacked the robbers.
Brian Woodham, 64, had gone to his local Asda store in Ashford, Kent, when saw that a security guard refilling a cash dispenser was being robbed.

He challenged one of the masked men and saw him fire the gun into his leg. When he realised that he was not injured he picked up a rock and attacked the man forcing him to flee. The robbers escaped

Of course if Gramps had been allowed to carry something more lethal than a bunch of keys, or a rock, then the story might have had a different ending...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:09 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

One for the shopping list

Telegraph | News | Black and Tan ice cream causes a chill in Ireland

Ben and Jerry's began promoting its Black and Tan flavour - cream stout with a whirl of chocolate - this month, but said it was unaware of the connotations that the name has in Ireland.

The company, whose mission statement promotes "deep respect" for individuals, has apologised for any offence their latest product has caused to the Irish.

Any hippy company that promises "deep respect" can't get into too much trouble for my liking, but as ever the curse of Ireland is that it never forgets (and England's is that it never remembers).

Posted by The Englishman at 6:58 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

April 20, 2006

BBC sense on Climate change!

BBC NEWS | Magazine | A load of hot air?

Hardly a day goes by without a new dire warning about climate change. But some claims are more extreme than others, giving rise to fears that the problem is being oversold and damaging the issue. ...

Overselling Climate Change will be broadcast on BBC Radio 4 on Thursday 20 April at 2000 BST. Or you can use the Listen Again service on the Radio 4 website

Posted by The Englishman at 5:41 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Will the last person to leave please turn out the lights, if H&S will let them.

Breakfast Is Off The Menu Thanks To The Bureaucrats (from The Wiltshire Gazette and Herald)

HEALTH and safety regulations have meant that the fundraising big breakfast planned by parents of Bromham PTA has had to be cancelled.
The St Nicholas Primary School parents' association was looking forward to earning up to £500 from their efforts at the St George's Day Big Breakfast on Saturday.
But chairman Peter Wallis was forced to call a halt to proceedings after he was advised that handling protein-based food without a food handling qualification was breaking all the regulations.

Posted by The Englishman at 2:53 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Truth on Standby

Telegraph | News | Don't leave your TV on standby, says Brown

Gordon Brown will go head-to-head with David Cameron on green issues today by urging people to save electricity by not leaving their television sets on standby.

While the Tory leader is in Norway seeing the impact of global warming on glaciers, the Chancellor will be addressing the United Nations on the need for international co-operation to protect the environment. He intends to highlight the "huge waste" from consumer goods left on standby - about 10 per cent of the electricity supply.

So how mush power do TVs actually use on standby?
Thanks to CNET here are some figures:

So the average from a representative sample of TVs is about 4% - CNET have figures for 20 in total but they include some real US monster TVs which aren't that common.
And is that usage a waste? - the energy in is seeping out into the room as heat, thereby cutting the need for heating by other means. The red-light stays on here at The Castle.

UPDATE - sorry in my hurry this morning I misread the quote - it seems to say that 10% of all electricity is wasted on goods left on standby, not that a TV uses 10% of its active state electricity. See more on this claim at http://www.unescap.org/esd/energy/publications/psec/guidebook-part-two-standby-power.htm but the general point still stands, most machines on standby use a tiny amount of electricity which needs to be balanced against the purposes of leaving tham on standby.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:17 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

April 19, 2006

A survey says

BBC NEWS | Politics | Middle-aged 'still enjoying sex'

Study author and professor of sociology at the University of Chicago said people aged 40 to 80 actually "engaged in a significant amount of sex".
He suggested this may well be a surprise to their children.

Often comes as a surprise to their spouses as well....

Posted by The Englishman at 12:46 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

April 18, 2006

Our No 1 priority

How a tin of paint on bus led to brush with the law - Britain - Times Online

WITH every day that passes the world seems to go increasingly mad. It has just gone particularly bonkers on a Cardiff bus.
In a vivid demonstration that who really runs Britain is not the Government, the Civil Service, big business nor Labour Party donors but the health and safety police, a man has been thrown off the No 9 service from Heath Hospital via city centre to Prospect Place for carrying a tin of paint. ..

Mr Heale, 73, an RAF veteran who suffers shortness of breath after a heart attack, could not manage the 20-minute walk from the paint shop to his home in the Leckwith district of the city so, naturally, he caught the bus. But the driver caught Mr Heale in the act of carrying a can of emulsion and ordered him off.

Ejected on to the rainy street, Mr Heale took shelter in a café and ordered a cup of tea to steady his nerves. There the manager took pity on him and gave Mr Heale, and his paint, a lift home.

New health and safety rules governing public transport do indeed list paint as a “hazardous article”. It can be taken on the bus only if it is “carried in two containers, ie, a sealed pot and a bag, and is not left unattended on a parcel shelf where it could slide and tip, burst open and spread across the floor”.

Cardiff Bus admitted that it may have been a little hard on Mr Heale. A spokesman said: “We apologise to Mr Heale for the obvious inconvenience caused. The safety of our passengers is our No 1 priority, which is why the company takes regulations on health and safety very seriously.”...

Says it all really - of course in the this new brave world we all should take the bus rather than own cars so that our journeys can be controlled and monitored...

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April 14, 2006

That's the way to do it...

DEA Agent Who Shot Self In Foot Sues Uncle Sam - April 11, 2006

APRIL 11--A Drug Enforcement Administration agent who stars in a popular online video that shows him shooting himself in the foot during a weapons demonstration for Florida children is suing over the tape's release, claiming that his career has been crippled and he's become a laughingstock due to the embarrassing clip's distribution.

The shooting occurred moments after Paige told the children that he was the only person in the room professional enough to carry the weapon. ....

Video here.

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April 13, 2006

Happy Dance Time

FREE MARKET FAIRY TALES: We need more OAPs like this

Who says that just because you are retired you cant play a full, active & useful role in society .... prepare to be made very very happy!

Posted by The Englishman at 11:26 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Spot the missing word

BBC NEWS | Health | Key malaria drug cost cut hopes

Scientists are perfecting a cheap way to synthesise a highly effective malaria drug.
Artemisinin is currently expensive to manufacture, and so is denied to many in the developing world.
US researchers have created a yeast which can churn out large quantities of a related chemical, which can be easily converted into the drug.

Lots of good news about potential life saving techniques, but somehow the phrase Genetic Modification or "GM" or "GMO" fails to make it into the piece, but then GM is evil but engineering bacteria for drugs is good...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 12, 2006

Save a SUV today

The Blog or the video, your choice but look at one, or both.

(I recommend the Video for its insight into free choice theory in a post-Keynesian proto-enviroauditor consumer led market.)

Posted by The Englishman at 8:19 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

End of an era

Administrators step in at ailing Hunters - Industry sectors - Times Online

THE Hunter Rubber Company, maker of the upmarket wellies favoured by Royals and the country set, has called in the administrators, despite soaring sales.

No more Green Wellie Set? I must admit I haven't noticed many people wearing Hunter's recently - it is either cheap black ones or neoprene lined French ones, but then I'm not in Fulham.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:57 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Scum

Guinea-pig farm activists guilty - Britain - Times Online

A TEACHER, a nurse, his besotted receptionist girlfriend and a veteran activist were the disparate characters behind an animal rights campaign of terror that culminated in the theft of a grandmother's body.

...Unlike her boyfriend, Mayo was not believed to be a driving force in the plot to steal the body of Gladys Hammond, the 82-year-old mother-in-law of the farm’s co-owner, Chris Hall. But rather than being repulsed by the desecration of the grave, Mayo’s admiration for Whitburn deepened — their romantic relationship did not begin until after the theft of the remains in October 2004. Mayo seemed not to realise the ramifications of her actions until Monday’s court appearance; she sobbed on discovering that she faced a six-year sentence.

The three men, who were remanded in custody, are expected to receive jail sentences of about 12 years.

....Ablewhite ran the campaign while teaching in Wolverhampton. He vowed to return to the classroom and teach children about animal rights and veganism before he was remanded in custody last autumn.

I wouldn't piss on them if they were burning to death in the immortal words of Kim; "Rope, Tree, some assembly required".

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April 10, 2006

My lips are sealed

Telegraph | News | How seized illicit drink has become the secret toast of the countryside

Within a stone's throw of the Palladian splendour of Stourhead House in deepest Wiltshire a tanker rolls up that contains one of the country's best-kept secrets.

So secret, in fact, that The Daily Telegraph was first told it did not exist by Government officials and so sensitive that companies involved have refused to reveal their identity.
The tanker does not, however, contain illicit nuclear or chemical waste but 5,500 gallons of cider destined to fertilise large tracts of land. Other spirits, beer and wine that do not make it on to the fields are used to create feed for pigs.
All this is part of a multi-million pound scheme to recycle vast quantities of smuggled alcohol and tobacco seized by Customs.

I didn't realise it was so secret what goes on down here in Wiltshire. I have been out shooting a couple of times with the men who take in the fags and booze from the customs. Their whole "scrap yard" is an official bonded site, and that includes the "laboratory" in the house where he has to test the Whisky. As well as custom seizures he also destroys small lots from distilleries which aren't worth marketing etc. - as long as they are destroyed at a bonded site no tax is payable. They seem to enjoy their work.

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That he which hath no stomach to this fight, Let him depart;

Telegraph | News | VC winner branded a war criminal

A ruse that helped to win a soldier the Victoria Cross during the Second World War was a "war crime" and New Zealand should apologise to the families of the snipers he killed, it was claimed yesterday.

Lt Col Glyn Harper, a professor at the New Zealand army's Military Studies Institute, who co-authored the book, In the Face of the Enemy, said that on one occasion Sgt Hulme donned a German paratrooper's smock, climbed up behind a nest of enemy snipers, and pretended to be part of their group.

"He shot the leader first, and as the other four snipers looked around to see where the shot had come from, Hulme also turned his head as if searching for the shooter," the book says.

"Then he shot and killed two more." He shot the other two as they tried to leave.

"Hulme deserved the VC for his outstanding bravery, but he shouldn't have done what he did in disguising himself."

Other academics have supported the book's claims. Peter Wills, the deputy director of the Centre for Peace Studies at Auckland University, said Sgt Hulme's actions were "unsanctioned murder".

He told the Sunday Star-Times that the New Zealand government should apologise to the families of the Germans he killed.

Can anyone explain to me what use any professor at any Centre for Peace Studies has ever been - or are they just oxygen thieves?

Posted by The Englishman at 6:29 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

April 9, 2006

The RSPCA at work

BBC NEWS | England | Staffordshire | Pc 'pursued' over killing of cat

The RSPCA has been accused of harassing a police officer after he killed an injured cat with a spade.
A prosecution estimated to have cost a total of £50,000 lasted two years before failing in the High Court.
In April 2004, Pc Bell was called out to an estate in Stoke-on-Trent following reports of youths throwing stones at passing cars.

While there local residents called his attention to a cat which had been run over.
The 36-year-old officer sought advice from his control room and colleagues including a police handler.
He borrowed a spade and with three to four blows killed the cat.
An independent expert witness called to give evidence in the trial said the officer had been in a no-win situation.

"The cat had been squashed to within an inch thick at its lower half," said veterinary surgeon Colin Vogel.

"He did the kindest thing which was to put it out of its misery whereas if he'd just walked away leaving it injured he could have just as easily faced a charge of animal cruelty."

The estimated £50,000 total cost of the case, which includes £12,000 spent by the RSPCA on its own legal costs, will lead to accusations that it has wasted large amounts of voluntary donations and public money.

One has a moral duty to an injured animal which this PC seems to have taken responsibly and done the right thing - what the RSPCA was thinking in hounding him I cannot fathom.

Posted by The Englishman at 10:18 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

You are what you eat.

There is a lot of comment flying around about plans to add Folic Acid to Bread to prevent birth defects - some people object to this compulsory medication, especially as the intake of Folic Acid may cause problems in older people. Nowhere have I seen noted that our flour is already "fortified" by law and that this doesn't have to be noted on the label, and yes it applies to those lovely organic handmilled on the thighs of Dorset virgin brands as well...

The Flour Advisory Bureau -Nutrition Composition of Flour and Bread

By law, white and brown flour is fortified with calcium, iron, thiamin and niacin. Because it is made from the whole wheat grain, wholemeal flour already contains these vitamins and minerals, although white and brown flour contain more calcium because of fortification.
Calcium carbonate (E170) is added to all brown and white flour products in the UK and has been a legal requirement for almost 5 years. This is carried out to ensure that vulnerable groups receive enough calcium in their diet. On average 20% of the UK dietary calcium intake is accounted for via bread and flour products. Other legally required additives in bread include iron and B-Vitamins.

Posted by The Englishman at 3:31 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 7, 2006

Nearly taken in

The Daily Record - NEWS - DANGER: BAGGY TROUSERS

1 April 2006
DANGER: BAGGY TROUSERS
Health warning on big breeks*
By Karen Bale
A SENIOR government expert wants big trousers to come with a health warning.
Professor Muir Gray believes shops should attach labels to larger sizes telling overweight shoppers to eat less, exercise more and even visit the doctor. ...
He said there were no plans at the moment to extend the warnings to underpants.

*This isn't an April Fool - it's a government idea

I think if you believe something is a an April fool story and it isn't then you are "fooled", on that basis I was done like a kipper.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:04 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Our Brave New World

Mother loses her children to former lesbian partner - Britain - Times Online

TWO young sisters were taken away from their biological mother and handed over to her former lesbian partner on the orders of the Court of Appeal yesterday.

Lord Justice Thorpe, who headed the panel of three judges, said in his ruling: “We have moved into a world where norms that seemed safe 20 or more years ago no longer run.” He then posed the question: “Who is the natural parent?” In the past, judges have held that the biological parent is the natural parent, he said. “But in the eyes of the child, the natural parent may be a non-biological parent who, by virtue of long-settled care, has become the child’s psychological parent.”

He said that in this case, the upbringing of the children had been shared, and the sisters would not distinguish between the women on the ground of biological relationship

Strange how important "biological mothers" compared to "psychological parents" are to the whole race industry and yet here the Judge declares the difference irrelevant.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 6, 2006

Science Reveals 2

Telegraph | News | Lazy rats hold key to teenage behaviour

Scientists have found that there is such a thing as inherent laziness in the natural world, a discovery that provides new insights into the enduring mystery of why teenagers are such layabouts.

No comment.

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Science reveals

BBC NEWS | Women are warned that moving in with a man makes them fat

No comment.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:24 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 5, 2006

Pain

Telegraph | News | Premature babies can feel pain, scans show

"Since pain information is transmitted to the pre-term infant cortex from 25 weeks, there is the potential for pain experience to influence brain development from a very early age as the brain is highly malleable at this stage."

The legal limit for abortion is 24 weeks in the UK.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:40 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 3, 2006

The result of health scares

Decline in MMR uptake blamed for measles death - Britain - Times Online

A FALL in the number of parents allowing their children to have the combined measles, mumps and rubella vaccine has been blamed for a resurgence of measles that has claimed the life of a 13-year-old boy.

I wonder if young Leo Blair has had his jabs yet or is he still being protected by a crystal pendant? The responsibility for letting health scares flourish should lie heavily on some people - but it won't be theor children dieing and being disabled as a result, that burden falls on the poor.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:32 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 30, 2006

Complete Rubbish

I finally got fed up at looking at the old pile of scrap iron, so I swapped it for a grubby envelope with some money in. Strangely I didn't need the help of Kennet's Recycling Education Officer or the Waste Minimisation and Recycling Officer, maybe that is because the old iron has a real value, the stalwart members of the community who will start it on its journey to the smelter are happy, and will make something out of it, and I'm happy with some notes that smell of oil and grease rather then the more rarefied substances our city friends leave on their notes. I also note that gold and silver recycling contiues without help from our taxes.
The great Worstall has gone over this before, but I'm a bear of little brain so I need reassurance, subsidising recycling is wrong, isn't it? Our lords and masters are saying that they can value stuff, and allocate resources much better than the market. The market is saying that waste cardboard is valueless, because there is plenty of it around, the boys with the wide braces have checked and there is no point in storing it for when it runs out so they aren't running positions on it, but on the other side the council believes it should have a value so they set up a complicated internal market (much of it just to satisfy Central Gov's target) in the old rubbish. And every time they rig a market like this they are taking resources away from other uses. Correct?

Posted by The Englishman at 6:42 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

March 29, 2006

Envy is a nasty thing

BBC NEWS | Scotland | Smartcards the 'envy' of the UK

Smartcard technology which will help run Scotland's free bus travel scheme for pensioners could be used in a large variety of other services.
The National Entitlement Card means that schemes operated by the 32 councils can be brought together.

Developers said it could be used for libraries, leisure centres, home meals and even a bus stop audio service.

'Marvellous' technology

Colin Mair, chief executive of the Improvement Service, jointly run by the Scottish Executive and the councils, said: "The cards that will be issued for travel purposes on 1 April will also be able to be used for a wide variety of other purposes.

Oh lucky lucky Scotch, as they gorge on the free gee-gaws the state provides all they have to do is flash their shiny "Saltaire emblazened" cattle tag and the nice people at the council will give them something else - and guess who else loves this brave new world that is the "envy" of the UK...

Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | Oyster data use rises in crime clampdown

Police hunting criminals are increasingly seeking information from electronically stored travel records, such as those created by users of the popular Oyster card in London.
Figures disclosed today show a huge leap in police requests to Transport for London, which operates the Oyster cards used to travel on buses, trains and the underground.

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One source of hot air the climate could do without.

Politicians will answer to God over climate, says Archbishop - Newspaper Edition - Times Online

THE Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, told political leaders yesterday that they would face "a heavy responsibility before God" if they failed to act to control climate change.
"Nobody likes talking about governmental coercion in this respect" ... "And yet, unless there is a real change in attitude, we have to contemplate these very unwelcome possibilities if we want the global economy not to collapse and millions, billions, of people not to die."

21 And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man:

22 All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died.

23 And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.

And it was all the fault of Land Rover drivers and the evil Bushchimpmonkey warned the wizard of Wales...

Posted by The Englishman at 5:23 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 27, 2006

Chilling words

The Times Online guest contributors Opinion

.... when the biological parent fails, the corporate parent in the form of the local authority must understand its legal obligations and honour them.

I really don't like the idea of my local authority being "the corporate parent" to my children - but I'm not sure what should be done to rescue children from the feckless and cruel - though I have a fair idea of what should happen to the F&C parents, the only counselling I would suggest would involve a breaking a baseball bat on them and sticking the splintered end where the sun doesn't shine, repeatedly.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:14 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

The wisdom of Adam

After more than 200 years, science admits it: Adam Smith was right
Science Notebook by Anjana Ahuja - Times Online

IF YOU want to get a feel for cutting-edge science, may I recommend Adam Smith? Yes, the same Adam Smith who wrote Wealth of Nations. He also penned, in 1759, The Theory of Moral Sentiments, a melodic work in which he describes the powerful, instinctive nature of “sympathy”:
“Man, say they, conscious of his own weakness, and of the need which he has for the assistance of others, rejoices whenever he observes that they adopt his own passions . . . and grieves whenever he observes the contrary . . . But both the pleasure and the pain are always felt so instantaneously, and often upon such frivolous occasions, that it seems evident that neither of them can be derived from any such self-interested consideration.”

Smith saw sympathy (compassion and commiseration for another person, even if you don’t share his troubles), or empathy (if you do), as an innate characteristic of man. It served, Smith suggested, as man’s moral compass, was difficult to overcome, and from it flourished an unwritten code of ethics that held society together.

During the past ten years scientists have confirmed Smith’s insights.

...our moral code is so ingrained that substituting it with formal regulation can lead to worse behaviour...

The old boy he spoke sense again.

Posted by The Englishman at 5:16 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 22, 2006

Taking it with a pinch

15,000 'at risk' after U-turn on salt in food - Times Online
BRITAIN'S food watchdog was accused last night of endangering the lives of 15,000 people a year after backing down on strict guidelines designed to limit the amount of salt in food.
Health campaigners were furious at the decision by the Food Standards Agency to publish revised targets to cut salt in 85 types of food products by 2010

Graham MacGregor, professor of cardiovascular medicine at St George’s hospital, London, believes that if we reduce our salt consumption from the current 9.5g a day to below 6g, it will result in “the biggest improvement in health since the introduction of clean water in the 19th century ”.
MacGregor says there is overwhelming evidence that a high-salt diet contributes to medical problems including heart disease — the cause of 50% of British deaths. A reduction of 3g a day in our intake would, he believes, save 35,000 people from death by stroke each year. ....

We are doomed!

"Where is your evidence?" we sceptics cried. Well, CASH have now published it on their web site, and a delectable item for number watchers it is. Not only is it based on that most dubious of constructions, a meta-analysis, it also depends on a creative bit of line-fitting that will delight collectors. On this basis they are now claiming reductions in the virtual body count of over 50,000. The data are actually of blood pressure and excreted salt, so it requires a further creative leap to convert this to dietary salt and bodies. Just look at the Trojan Numbers:
The best way to study the dose-response relation between salt intake and blood pressure is to look at the blood pressure responses to several levels of salt intake for a long term. So far, there are only 2 well-controlled trials that studied 3 salt intakes, each for 4 weeks. One is our double-blind study in 19 patients with untreated essential hypertension, and the other is the Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension (DASH)- Sodium study,18 in which 79 untreated hypertensives and 116 normotensives were studied on the normal American diet, and 81 untreated hypertensives and 121 normotensives were studied on the DASH diet.
Despite the overwhelming nature of this evidence from well-controlled studies on as many as 79 people, it is inevitable that some number watchers will prefer to listen to infidels such as.. Numberwatch...

Maybe, just maybe, it is "the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be enjoying themselves" as the philosopher HL Mencken once defined Puritanism, that drives these health fascists.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:01 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 21, 2006

Anatomy of a scare

The headline - Pesticides in food 'increase risk of cancer in babies and children' - Times Online Babies and young children may be at risk of developing cancer through exposure to pesticides in food, say scientists.

The press release -
Environmental chemicals implicated in cancer, say experts

Previous studies in cancer causation have often concluded that exposure to carcinogenic or endocrine-disrupting chemicals, for example, organochlorines (OC) - found in pesticides and plastics - occurs at concentrations that are too low to be considered a major factor in cancerous disease. Now new research at the University of Liverpool, published in the Journal of Nutritional and Environmental Medicine, has found that exposure even to small amounts of these chemicals may result in an increased risk of developing cancer - particularly for infants and young adults.
The research consisted of systematic reviewing of recent studies and literature concerning the environment and cancer...found that genetic variations, which can predispose some people to cancer, may interact with environmental contaminants...
Environmental contaminants - in particular synthetic pesticides and organochlorines with hormone-disrupting properties - could be a major factor ...The research team has also looked at anecdotal evidence, from practicing physicians in pre-industrial societies, which suggests that cancerous disease was rare amongst particular communities, such as the Canadian Inuits and Brazilian Indians. This suggests that cancer is a disease of industrialisation. ..."This research is very important"

The Paper: -
Taylor & Francis Group - Article

Results. Cancer incidence rates have increased in the Western World and this increased incidence affects the whole age spectrum. Epidemiological studies have provided some evidence of an association between exposure to environmental contaminants such as organochlorines and increased cancer risk. However, many epidemiological studies have been inconclusive. Similar reviews concerning environmental influences in cancer aetiology concluded that exposures to carcinogenic or endocrine-disrupting chemicals exist at concentrations too low or have carcinogenic potential too weak to be considered a major factor in cancer aetiology....even if healthy adults are not at risk, it would seem that the developing foetus, infant, child and young adults are at risk. In addition, studies discussed in this review show that low oestrogenic potency cannot be used as a marker of the capability of a chemical to cause oestrogenic responses and endocrine disruption. Genetic polymorphisms, which can predispose people to cancer, may interact with environmental contaminants such as organochlorines and endocrine disrupters, thus providing a modifying effect. Prevention measures have hitherto predominately centred on tobacco smoking cessation and diet education. Anecdotal evidence from practising physicians in pre-industrial and traditional living societies, i.e. Canadian Inuits and Brazilian Indians suggests malignant disease was rare...
Conclusions. It is feasible that chemical environmental contaminants, in particular synthetic pesticides and organochlorines with endocrine-disrupting properties, could be major factors in cancer aetiology....
Preventative measures other than education about tobacco, diet and the promotion of physical activity should be considered.... Further research .. may be warranted.

A quick scan of the (Full Article) doesn't seem to show how they square the circle between " increased (cancer) incidence affects the whole age spectrum" and "even if healthy adults are not at risk, it would seem that the developing foetus, infant, child and young adults are at risk" and they seem to ignore the fact that Brazilian Indians don't get cancer because they die too young. But as they say MORE RESEARCH needed, even if it consist just of reading everything in the Library and putting out press releases. So panic over! - a typical data dredging scare, nothing I'm going to worry about.

.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:53 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 17, 2006

How heros are treated in England.

Blaze hero pulled gun - Times Online

A MAN who pulled an imitation gun on police officers who tried to stop him rescuing his wife from their burning home has been jailed for a year.
Gloucester Crown Court was told that David Collinson had been woken by the noise of the fire in December and, thinking burglars were in the Cheltenham building, had gone to investigate, taking the gun. Once outside his second-floor flat, he found three police officers, who had tried to get everyone out of the building but had been beaten back by thick smoke.

Collinson received a call on his mobile telephone from his terrified wife, still inside. As he tried to go back in, the officers stopped him. He produced the gun, pointed it at them and ran inside to rescue his wife and their dog. Afterwards he apologised to the officers.
Police had later gone into the flat and found a ball-bearing pistol and an air pistol.

A year in jail for doing what he had to do to be able to rescue his wife, and dog, from burning to death! Makes me ashamed of our country.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:30 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

March 16, 2006

Very little brains

Don't say Pooh to tradition
By Bruce Anderson - Times Online

IT IS Winnie the Pooh's fault. The cult of sentimentality inspired by the bear of little brain is a threat to an important military tradition: the bearskin, as worn by the Brigade of Guards. A Labour MP, Chris Mullin, is leading a campaign to force the Guards to use artificial fabric.
He claims that the bearskin has no military value. That is nonsense. Anyone who talks to senior officers will rapidly become aware of a recurring preoccupation: how to ensure that men stand and fight. History is full of examples of small units fighting well above their weight, whose heroism turned battles. Our generals want to ensure that British troops always fight like that, not like the French in 1940.
...
The bearskin is part of that bonding and pride. Of course the regiments would survive a ban, but it would help to convince the soldiers that the politicians neither understand them nor respect them. They already have to cope with being underpaid and overstretched. If, on top of that, their traditions are treated with contempt, morale will suffer, as will recruitment and retention. That is why our Army gives so much thought to training, discipline, morale and esprit de corps.
....
Throughout North America, bears are numerous. They raid dustbins and put picnickers to flight. Their numbers have to be controlled. Bearskins are made from the pelts of animals that would be culled anyway. Instead of being discarded, the fur is used to enhance the excellence of our finest soldiers. That is a point that only a politician of very little brain could fail to appreciate.

And I wonder if the importance of tradition and bonding also applied to all those other regiments that have been swept away in the rush to cost saving modernity, or is it only important in the Ceremonial Regiments which largely escaped the cuts?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:21 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 15, 2006

You're nicked

Telegraph | News | Pay-out for white rejected by police

Avon and Somerset police force has agreed to pay a rejected white male recruit undisclosed compensation after being warned that its recruitment policy might be illegal.

I mentioned this back in November so am pleased to see a result, I hope the rest of the rejected candidates also threaten to sue. But of course none of the payout comes from "The Diversity Committee" members or the Chief Constable's own pocket - no the poor bloody ratepayers are mulcted agin.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:49 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 14, 2006

Soon only panty liners will have wings

Scotsman.com News - UK - Para recruits 'not trained to jump'

FEWER than one in four new recruits to the Parachute Regiment are being trained to jump because of a shortage of planes.
The number of trainees completing the parachute course at Brize Norton and gaining the coveted "wings" and red beret has fallen from 93 per cent in 2003 to just under a quarter last year.
The figures are even worse for Territorial Army paratroopers with only one weekend soldier - a medical student who reported sick and was granted extra time off - passing the test with the adequate jumps last year.

"Red Bull gives you wings" I believe the advert says - more than the MOD does then...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:01 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Oooh Matron!

Telegraph | News | German prostitutes to retrain as nurses for elderly

A small ray of sunshine as decrepitude and soup-dribbling imbecility beckons.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:38 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 10, 2006

Aaargh!

Student Doctor Network Forums - Things I Learn From My Patients

Posted by The Englishman at 7:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The hand of Doom

Mrs Englishman's little Mercedes A class started playing up - wouldn't idle and stalled at junctions. In the good old days a quick tweak of a screw under the bonnet would solve this sort of problem. So I took it to the Grease Monkey yesterday, he said it was the Combined Air Mass Meter and ECU
which had failed,and I need to take it to a main dealer, along with my passport and proof of ownership of the car, plus £1000. Just because a sensor is misbehaving. Oh the benefits of modern car engineering (the ID is required because they have to recode the Electronic "Ownership" of the car...
Luckily eBay may be my friend as I have discovered a company - BBA-reman.com - that offers a rebuild for sale there, so £200 down and now looking to taking the engine apart myself...
Came in and the Mrs Englishman was crying because the television refused to show her recording of "Desperate Housewives" - TV knackered so out it goes, get the old one out the shed, that refuses to work now, so that is two tellies to take to the skip today, or shall I wait and take the broken microwave as well, I am just hanging on until the new bargain one arrives, the old one still sort of works if you don't mind that eyeball frying feeling if you are in the same room as it as it warms up the gravy for my sandwich.
So I'm not touching anything I might break today...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:43 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Lying fornicating adulterous homosexual as the norm - the BBC

Civitas releases today a report on a BBC program Little Kinsey
which show how the BBC misepresents the report and British society of the period 1945-55. "Its central argument was that the restrained
attitudes towards sexual activity which would have been considered as
typical of the era were hypocritical, that men and women were commonly adulterous, that family life was frequently unhappy, that many men used prostitutes and that homosexual activity was common."
This rewriting of history may suit the BBC's view of Britain but it is simply a lie.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:18 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 9, 2006

Low prices bad for consumers

The Competition Commission has released a report on Supermarkets

We found that all the main parties (with the exception of M&S and Lidl) engaged in the practice of persistently selling some frequently purchased products below cost, and that this contributed to the situation in which the majority of their products were not fully exposed to competitive pressure and distorted competition in the supply of groceries. We took account of the fact that some consumers could benefit from being able to buy goods below cost, particularly low-income consumers, but at the same time that the practice damaged smaller reference stores and non-reference grocery outlets. This would in turn impact adversely on consumers, in particular the elderly and less mobile who tend to rely more on such stores. We conclude that the practice of persistent below-cost selling when conducted by Asda, Morrison, Safeway, Sainsbury and Tesco, ie those parties with market power, operates against the public interest.
We found that the practice of varying prices in different geographical locations in the light of local competitive conditions, such variation not being related to costs (which we termed ‘price flexing’), was carried on by Budgens, the Co-ops, Netto, Safeway, Sainsbury, Somerfield and Tesco. We found that this practice contributed to a situation in which the majority of their products were not fully exposed to competitive pressures and which distorted competition in the supply of groceries. We conclude that the practice, when carried on by Safeway, Sainsbury and Tesco, who have market power, operates against the public interest because their customers tend to pay more at stores that do not face particular competitors than they would if those competitors were present in the area.
The evidence we received showed a high degree of satisfaction with supermarkets by those who shopped in them

So low prices are bad for consumers for some reason and the normal market mechanism which indicates a stronger than average demand in a geographic area (higher than average prices), and thus a signal for competitors to move in is "unfair". A sensible planned economy wouldn't allow these anomalies, in fact it would be much more sensible if there was just one government run store and the citizens were told what to buy.....

Posted by The Englishman at 8:37 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 8, 2006

Poll time!

The Sunday Herald is holding a poll about banning ALL firearms, 10
years on from the Dunblane atrocity.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:18 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 7, 2006

Eeny meeny miney mo - another rhyme has had to go..

Britain, UK news from The Times and The Sunday Times - Times Online

... Instead of singing “Baa baa, black sheep” as generations of children have learnt to do, toddlers in Oxfordshire are being taught to sing "Baa baa, rainbow sheep".

The move, which critics will seize on as an example of political correctness, was made after the nurseries decided to re-evaluate their approach to equal opportunities.
Stuart Chamberlain, manager of the Family Centre in Abingdon and the Sure Start centre in Sutton Courtenay, Oxfordshire, told the local Courier Journal newspaper: "We have taken the equal opportunities approach to everything we do...."
In keeping with the new approach, teachers at the nurseries have reportedly also changed the ending of Humpty Dumpty so as not to upset the children and dropped the seven dwarfs from the title of Snow White.

OK I'll be a critic but I won't seize on it as an example of Political Correctness - I'll call it plain daftness. And this approach is not protecting children it is ruining their lives, the world is not made of cotton wool. I'm still extremely pissed off at a some absent mummy who upset the elder Englishette. The nursery she goes to looks after the children fantastically, and if I didn't trust them I wouldn't let them look after my children. A special trip was planned, our little girl was all excited about it, we had got her all dressed up, packed her wheelchair, put on her special outdoor gloves and when she gets to the nursery some pushy mummy had telephoned from work to say she wasn't happy, could she be sent the risk assessment form, staffing details etc before her little darling could go on the trip. The hassle caused the trip to be postponed and a lot of upset little children. I hope the sanctimonious cow felt she had done a good days work, and after the nanny had dried the tears and mummy had eventually popped into to see her daughter after a busy day at the office her little darling still gave her "what for".

Posted by The Englishman at 6:58 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

March 3, 2006

Scary Movie

A film with a happy ending - via Kim....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:26 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The Electronic Babysitter

ITV takes on the Beeb in crowded kids' TV market - Newspaper Edition - Times Online

IN THE daily battle between Dora The Explorer, Charlie and Lola and SpongeBob SquarePants, it takes a brave broadcaster to launch a new children's channel with the promise that it will become the most-watched commercial service within 18 months.
That was the bullish prediction offered by ITV when it unveiled CiTV, a £30 million response to the BBC’s dominance in children’s television that will feature Horrid Henry and an animated version of the top-selling Bratz dolls.
Launched on March 11, CiTV will be the first commercial children’s channel available on Freeview, now a fixture in almost seven million homes. However, it must also compete in a saturated market with 21 other commercial children’s channels on satellite and cable services

Let me offer a marketing tip for free to ITV - Who has control of the remote? Mummy or Daddy, what do they want? Eye Candy. It's the presenters, stupid. So lets have more Eva Alexander, not that I have noticed, we only have CBeebies on as it is educational, only 5'2", small hands, I always find them so flattering.....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:56 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 2, 2006

Castle defences

Windows Defender - a free program that helps protect your computer against pop-ups, slow performance, and security threats caused by spyware and other unwanted software.

Looks good - an improved version of Microsoft's Antispyware program which is an essential part of the armoury.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 28, 2006

Joined up thinking

I have been known in the past to be critical of my local council - Kennet - but I have just realised they, and their beloved masters have been actually planning it all out for our benefit.

Firstly they ban fox hunting.
Then we get news of a Global Bird Flu epidemic.
And then Kennet Council announce they are rushing to introduce Wheelie Bins for rubbish collections.
Seemingly unconnected - but:

BBC NEWS | World | Europe | German cat gets deadly bird flu

A domestic cat in Germany has become the first European Union mammal to die of the deadly H5N1 strain of bird flu.

Telegraph | News

Urban foxes are attacking and killing pet cats because they are struggling to find enough food to eat in British towns and cities.
Cat owners have reported an increasing number of attacks and pest control specialists say that the use of wheelie bins, rather than bin bags, for rubbish disposal is partly to blame because it has deprived many foxes of an easy source of food.

So Foxy Woxy to the rescue! Eating up all the mangy cats before they infect us all, Hurray!

Of course there is one flaw in their plan - Mr FM: No gentleman would ever admit to shooting a fox but he does, and he seems intent on cleansing Kennet of the beasts. And he admits to having worked on the shores of the Pearl River delta and the old Shanghai Bund - I sense some sinister Chinese plot, with Mr FM (Picture) as the mastermind, even as I type he is probably stroking some white pussy somewhere....

Posted by The Englishman at 10:32 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Bird Brains

Telegraph | News | Don't eat raw eggs

Eggs should be cooked until the whites are solid - not necessarily the yolks.

The World Health Organisation advises cooking eggs until both white and yolks are solid, but the FSA has discussed this with them and it says that the WHO advice was "precautionary".
....
The scene appeared to be set for a re-run of the row over vaccination and foot and mouth in 2001...

As was shown in 2001 the authorities had learnt nothing from previous disease outbreaks and it is increasingly becoming clear that they haven't a clue what to do about Bird Flu. The idea that we may be facing the horrendous cockups of the F&M outbreak again is too awful to contemplate. Is it really so hard to draw up some concrete plans and make them known. It is not as though this threat has just erupted, they have had months, and hopefully still have a long time before it reaches our shores. Instead of arguing if you will be able to dip your soldiers into your yolks or not, what I would like to see is a solid plan - ie in case of enemy Geese arriving, all fowl within five miles will be shot, a vaccinated cordon of 50 miles will be created, etc etc. It isn't hard, but it needs someone with more balls than Ben "Hugh Grant" Bradshaw to take control.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:08 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

February 24, 2006

Two nations

As I get older the truth that there are two nations everywhere becomes more self evident. I think the first time I noticed this was many years ago when I first went to Boarding School. As you know British Public Schools are always intensely interested in the bottys of the boys, and that they are functioning correctly. So outside the bogs was a chart where each boy had to cross if he had been or not each day. The cure for not going, or forgetting to mark the "bog board", was a large dose of Milk of Magnesia - from Matron.
So I developed a simple habit every day of first thing crossing the box whatever. I remember being caught doing this by a friend who was horrified that I would deceive the authorities in this way. I am sure he is probably a senior Civil Servant happy as one of Gordon's Turkeys, where as I still prefer to not have to complete the shit list checking everyday. Two nations.

Posted by The Englishman at 11:34 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Lambing time soon...

Adopt A Sheep To Eat (from The Wiltshire Gazette and Herald)

"People can grow their own vegetables, but it is difficult for most people to grow their own meat. This way they have a little bit of control.
"It is an ideal project for schools. Children can understand the way meat is produced, how fairly they are slaughtered after living a happy life in an natural environment."
"With our system, the consumer can choose their own sheep or lamb, find out how it is raised and even come to see it grazing on the lovely Pewsey Downs."

The website www.adoptasheepformeat.co.uk

Posted by The Englishman at 10:10 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Something warming to read by the fire on this fine freezing day.

Numberwatch

Says it all, really
A fine piece on the "science" of global warming by Dr Gerrit J. van der Lingen,

The global warming debate has left the realm of science a long time ago. It has become totally politicised. Any scientific criticism is not met with a scientific response, but with name-calling and a stepping up of the scare tactics. Some sceptics have even lost their jobs or are told to shut up or else. Many of the global warming doomsayers seem to be obsessed with a longing for Apocalypse.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:48 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 23, 2006

Q&A: Your bird flu concerns

BBC NEWS | World | Europe | Q&A: Your bird flu concerns

Concern is growing about the spread of bird flu from birds to humans and the possibility of the H5N1 virus mutating so it can pass easily from human to human.
The BBC news website has asked the experts to answer your questions on the issues.
A virologist, the BBC's medical correspondent and the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds respond to your concerns.

And I have some excellent advice here from SHED....

Q: How do I avoid getting bird flu?
A: While it may seem overly cautious, various international health
authorities are advising that persons in high-risk areas such as India,
South East Asia and East Anglia refrain from fucking birds. At least
for the time being.

We understand that complete abstinence is not always a viable option,
and ask that when you do fuck birds, make sure to take appropriate
precautions, such as pulling out.

Q: Can I still eat poultry?
A: The thing is, bird flu tastes like chicken so you never know if your
General Tzo's is infected. You're at highest risk if you're eating at a
Chinese establishment that is owned by Pakistanis or a Kebab House owned
by the Chinese. Best stick to KFC, which is made
from featherless, beakless mutates that are not legally birds.

This way you can die of cancer like the rest of your neighbors.

Q: How about eggs?
A: It depends on the kind of eggs. The ones that you buy in the store
should be fine. But if you're the kind of person that goes from tree to
tree raiding nests, you're engaging in high-risk behavior.

Q: How do I protect my cockatoo or canary from bird flu?
A: If you keep a cockatoo or canary as a pet, slaughter it immediately.
The proper way to do this is to grab its body in your fist, walk it into
the kitchen, place it on the cutting board, and lop its head off with a
knife. Pretty much any knife will do. Bird necks are about as tough as
celery.

As you probably know, the head and body must be burned, separately, with
their ashes scattered in different directions. Just like you're
disposing of a vampire corpse.

Important: Be sure to rinse thoroughly both the knife and your cutting
board! How stupid would you feel if you successfully killed and disposed
of the infected bird only to later die from decrusting a Marmite
sandwich?
I bet you'd feel pretty fucking stupid.

If the caged bird is a beloved family pet, have your husband, wife or
live-in fuckbuddy take the kids to a movie before slaughtering. When
they come home, explain to them that lil' Petey flew out the window and
then surprise them with a new pet monkey. Kids love monkeys, and they're
100% disease-free.

Q: What's the difference between a pandemic and an epidemic?
A: Here's a handy way of remembering it: If your home town is in the
"-demic" part, you're probably already dead.

Q: Is this thing a genuine threat or just media hype?
A: Despite what Michael Moore might have you believe, the two are not
mutually exclusive. Michael Jackson was both a legitimate concern and
the vertex of a media circus. Know what else gets a lot of hype but is
also really dangerous? Terrorism.

Q: Is the United Kingdom prepared to deal with an outbreak of bird flu?
A: Are you kidding? Haven't you been watching the news? According to
most leading scientists, the bird flu will not only pick off the elderly
and young (which wouldn't be so bad because we fall into neither
category), but also the hale and hearty that fall in the middle.

Have you seen 12 Monkeys? It'll be like that, only we haven't yet
invented that rusty time-travel contraption through which they send
Bruce Willis to save the world. But if we do invent one, I say we send
back a scientist, and not a half-retarded convict whose most distinct
personality trait is that he always acts like he's hung-over. Just a
thought.

Q : Should individuals stock up on flu drugs?
A: Honestly, if Avian bird flu breaks out, all the drugs in the world
aren't going to save you. Which is why I highly recommend stocking up on
any other drugs you might find in your kids' drug stash (usually to the
back of the sock drawer).

Drugs like pot, acid, Ecstasy and Percocet will make the whole slow
death thing a whole lot more painless. This of course only works if your
kids are cool.

Q: But I've had the flu before and it hasn't killed me.
A: This is the bird flu, not the regular flu. Regular flu symptoms
include fever, nausea, aches and difficulty sleeping. Symptoms of bird
flu are much, much different. They include walking into glass doors and
mirrors and an urge to defecate on public statues.

Posted by The Englishman at 2:35 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

February 22, 2006

Upholding academic standards in Oz

The Courier-Mail: Uni rocked by marking fiasco [21feb06]

A UNIVERSITY graduate student abandoned the institution in frustration after a marking fiasco during which a lecturer, Edwina Luck, told him to produce "more smarter writing". (A follow up email read): "I knew you would be di appointed, o what I have done i taken the middle ground. I am uppo ed to take the econd mark, but I did not want to kill you that much. I do hope that you have learned from thi . Not the point of a king for explanation, but that we a lecturer are not totally illy!! Academic writing i difficult. I hope all our comment can be helpful in the future. Edwina."

Posted by The Englishman at 10:08 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Pro-test and live

BBC NEWS | Magazine | The pro-test protesters

Until now, animal rights protesters have made all the noise in a dispute over a new research lab in Oxford. But this weekend the city's famed academics are planning to hit back just as loudly, as pro-testing campaigners hit the streets.
According to one Oxford academic, a war is looming over "scientific freedom" and the "future of progress", no less. And this Saturday the battle for and against testing will shift from the city's dreaming spires to its historic streets.

ALF has declared all staff and students at Oxford to be "legitimate targets"..

Well as they have declared me to be a target guess which side I'm on.

I note that the human haters - SPEAK - have attacked the Pro-testers because they were run by "a delusional penis-obsessed narcissistic youth with a penchant for guns and pornography and a liberal inhalation of cannabis " and their point is what? Obviously they failed to make the grade to become a typical Oxford student so they are simply envious!

Posted by The Englishman at 9:50 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Getting ready to give her a big hand

The Wiltshire Gazette and Herald: News: Pewsey

Lots of local excitement as the local village of Pewsey is getting ready to welcome Shelley Rudman back. Pewsey is a village that knows how to party with annual Pubcrawls in Wheelbarrows that close the main "A" road as well as a fantastic carnival.

The carnival used to fund the local Hospital before the NHS nationalised it - a reminder of how free health care did exist before the glories of the NHS! And it is worth recording that despite the billions of pounds the Government shovels into sport it was the locals at The Moonrakers who found the money so she could compete - cash into a pot, straight to athlete, no bureaucrats involved!

My congratulations to Ms Rudman and the people of Pewsey is especially strong as it is where I first went to school, learning to read and write. Of course in those days it was still 12 inches to a foot and 12 pennies to the shilling, but in Pewsey that came easily to most of them, it was only when it was all decimalised that they had to learn not to count on all their fingers.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:56 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 20, 2006

Flyover Britain Zoo

Wet weekend, what to do with the kids? I note that a local zoo has some Rhinos recently arrived. Now I like Rhinos, not just the Spearmint flavoured ones, so I track the place down on the web: Noah's Ark Zoo Farm, Wraxall, Bristol, Somerset
Looks good but there is something odd down the bottom - Creation Biology We are also keen to expose inadequate or even fraudulent parts of Darwinism . Oh no! the Creationists have started a Zoo. I am not sure I can face an afternoon of preachy labels and exhibits when i just want to see the animals - Sundays aren't made for religion. But then again when you go the other zoos in the area the smug environmentalist preaching can be just as grating.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:26 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

February 16, 2006

Guardian Calls for a Nanny Government

Monday February 16, 1880 The Guardian

It is clear that it is not only against the cruelty and cupidity of employers who compel women and children to expose themselves to such a risk as that we have described for the amusement of a vulgar crowd that protection is needed.

Check the date again!

Posted by The Englishman at 7:20 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Dangers of non-smoking

Letters to the Editor The Times - Plenty of perils remain in our hygienic, smoke-free Britain

Of course the biggest danger in pubs comes from the fact that all those self-satisfied sandal-wearing totalitarian freedom-hating killjoy anti-smokers will now start coming into our pubs. I'm in big trouble with Mr FM for being rude to him and his gaily dressed friends the other night; I think I must of had a head cold and the half of Wadworth's IPA I sipped interfered with my medicine. And while I am glad to publicly apologise for my boorish and loud behaviour to them I can assure them, and you, that it was a mere whimper compared to the wrath that will erupt at the first matching sweater couple who simper into the snug and explain how much nicer and modern the place is without that nasty smoke.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:13 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 15, 2006

BBC stumped by racism

Britain, UK news from The Times and The Sunday Times - Times Online

A TORRENT of racist and abusive postings on the BBC's Test Match Special website has forced the corporation to close its message board.

Strangely the BBC doesn't give any reason for doing so, I was expecting, a stern homily about the institutionalised racism amongst cricket fans, but then I read on The Times who was being racist...

Complaints were received over a number of bulletins headed “Die white f******” and about comments on rape and suicide bombers. A user called “Covfanmartin” accused another of “spouting anti-semetic (sic) and pro-terrorism, hate-filled bile”, while one user noted four posts supporting September 11 and another glorifying Hitler. “Laloo ram” accused one member of “posting filth and rude racist insulting junk”, and “ Indidhoom” said that two contributors “insulted Hinduism and their gods”.

There have been accusations of Pakistanis masquerading as Indians and vice versa. Identities have included “Muslimssuck”, “WannabeIndianMusharaff” and “Pakifromkarachi”. India and Pakistan are at the moment in the middle of a series of one-day matches.

“The highly anticipated series between India and Pakistan set against a sensitive time for international politics has led to hostility between the two sets of fans on the message boards. To stop offence being caused and taking into account the extreme volume of traffic, we feel the best course of action is to suspend the board.”

A spokeswoman for the Metropolitan Police said: “If somebody reports it to us and we felt that there were offences within it, we would investigate . . . If people log on anonymously, it’s very difficult to find them.”

Oh good, Sir Ian will step in and investigate all the racism in the Sub-continent now, that should keep him busy till tea time.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:35 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 14, 2006

That video and those cartoons

As Laban points out:
"There is no doubt that this video will worsen relations between British soldiers and the Iraqi people, and between Britain and the Islamic world...."

The pond life at Murdoch's Papers are pleased as punch to publish pictures that will inflame Iraqis and put our Squaddies at greater risk of death or injury, but when there is the tiny chance that they might face the wrath of a Believer themselves it is all about "responsibility" and "not being provocative".... Yellow belly cowards.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:03 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

February 11, 2006

I'm free!

FOXNews.com - Foxlife: Entertainment and Lifestyle News - Scarlett Johansson, Keira Knightley Bare All

Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightley ... posed nude for the cover of Vanity Fair magazine's yearly Hollywood issue, to be released Wednesday.
Fashion superstar Tom Ford also appears on the cover photo, though he stuck with a more traditional suit -- one of black fabric.
Ford, the issue's guest art director, said he hadn't planned on becoming part of his own project, but he stepped in when "Wedding Crashers" star Rachel McAdams, 29, backed out.

Nice guy, genius etc but what a waste! a gay man, I could of done it, I wouldn't have charged much, given me a ring, "Hey, Keira and Scarlett are here butt naked, the third person has dropped out, we need someone to be in the pose with them." I would have cleared my diary, I would have been prepared to do it, just to help out you understand, next time, maybe...please....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Mustafa Shag

Blognor Regis rightly reminds me that he carried the story of Mustafa Shag, the inflatable sex doll, before I did - sorry - but he still doesn't point out the biggest selling point of Mustafa - he blows himself up!

Posted by The Englishman at 4:39 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Job for Mr FM

Telegraph | News | Urban fox hunt

Urban foxes have become such a nuisance that home owners are hiring pest controllers to shoot them in the middle of the night....

But the practice has been condemned by animal welfare groups who claim that killing foxes is "inhumane" and "a complete waste of time"....

Becky Hawkes, from the RSPCA, said: "The most effective way of deterring foxes is to limit the amount of food available, so people should make sure their bins are closed and ensure that any fallen fruit is picked up."

Ah but then they move onto eating Tiddles....

Telegraph | News

Urban foxes are attacking and killing pet cats because they are struggling to find enough food to eat in British towns and cities.
Cat owners have reported an increasing number of attacks and pest control specialists say that the use of wheelie bins, rather than bin bags, for rubbish disposal is partly to blame because it has deprived many foxes of an easy source of food.

As Tim Bonner, of the Countryside Alliance, said: "We believe that wild mammal populations need to be managed whether they are squirrels, deer or urban foxes. The population should be kept at a level that is acceptable in a particular area."

Posted by The Englishman at 9:10 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

February 10, 2006

Mustapha Shag

Muslims offended again - Little Man in a Toque reports:

Yesterday, the erotic retailer Ann Summers unveiled Miss B as the "face" of its new range of products. Not 24 hours later, she finds herself on the front line of Islamic protest after Muslim leaders discovered that the range includes a new blow-up doll, called "Mustafa Shag". Unfortunately, Mustafa was one of the names given to the Prophet Mohamed. Bestowing it upon, in the words of its catalogue, "an inflatable escort for your hen-night adventures" is considered highly offensive.

Laugh - I haven't laughed so much since Abu Hamza scratched his arse with his wrong hand!

I think this is Emma B rather than Mustapha Shag but so what, Ding Dong!

Posted by The Englishman at 7:32 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

Old Englishmen are the envy of Europe

Britain, UK news from The Times and The Sunday Times - Times Online

ENGLISH men are living longer than their counterparts in almost every other European country, but women's life expectancy is now below the EU average.
A report based on government health statistics for Britain paints a picture of increasing longevity, but finds striking rises in sexually transmitted infections and obesity.

So despite us being fat sods who sleep around we are living longer than those wiry woofters who live with their mothers on the Mediterranean diet, and those pallid ponces who follow their government orders to eat recycled engine oil margarine and elk, and those tubby tuba-players with their pale pissy pilsner and pie diet.

Of course the Memsahibs who actually do read and follow the shrill advice shovelled out by the Nanny state are keeling over faster than Welshmen in the King's Arms.

Time for a proper breakfast I think!

Posted by The Englishman at 7:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 9, 2006

Picture of Lesbians in Uniform Kissing

Admit it - you came here from a Google Search....

Armys Gay Newlyweds Wait For Honeymoon (from The Wiltshire Gazette and Herald)

LESBIAN Army privates Vanessa Haydock and Private Sonya Gould, who made military history by becoming the service's first gay couple to get wed, are about to set up home together.

Posted by The Englishman at 3:04 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

February 8, 2006

The fearsome warriors of Islam....

Iraq 1 - 500k asf file

Iraq 2 - 500k asf file

"Bazoka" - 800k wmv file

As Misty says - no wonder they throw stones!

Posted by The Englishman at 7:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

One for Mr NBC

Microsoft - share the pain!

Posted by The Englishman at 12:52 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

The other terrorists amongst us.

The Times

AN UNPRECEDENTED security crackdown is being mounted at Oxford University in the face of threats from animal rights extremists....
the Animal Liberation Front (ALF) recently announced that anyone associated with Oxford University, including students, was a legitimate target for attack.

THAT ALF STATEMENT IN FULL

This is just the beginning of our campaign of devastation against ANYONE linked in ANY way to Oxford University. Every individual and business that works for the University as a whole is now a major target of the ALF.
The University have made a crass decision to take us on and we will never let them win! This ALF team is calling out to the movement to unite and fight against the University on a maximum impact scale, we must stand up, DO WHATEVER IT TAKES and blow these fucking monsters off the face of the planet. We must target professors, teachers, heads, students, investors, partners, supporters and ANYONE that dares to deal in any part of the University in any way.
There is no time for debate and there is no time for protest, this is make or break time and from now on, ANYTHING GOES. We cannot fail these animals that will end up in those death chambers. Be warned, Oxford University, this is only the beginning of our campaign. Everyone linked to your institution is right now being tracked down and sooner or later, they will be made to face the consequences of your evil schemes.

As a proud alumnus that makes me a target of these scum, but then we all are at risk from these people haters.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:18 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

February 7, 2006

Kim the Wykehamist *

Kim proves again why he is a shining light in this murky Blogosphere and cuts through the cant surrounding provocative cartoons and other insults.
I have always believed and strived for : "A gentleman is never rude unintentionally" - I often fail but it is worth aiming for.
However to his magisterial pronouncement I would wish to attach a small addendum:
Even if an act is morally wrong to do that does not invalidate the right to do it, and that with rights come responsibilities.
It would be wrong to expose my children to The Guardian at the morning breakfast table, but I have the right to do it but I must accept the responsibility that they would grow up thinking I was a sad old git.
It would be wrong for me to jeer that the scousers top the sickie league and wonder if they are a bunch of workshy losers if I was enjoying the traditional Liverpool hospitality on the Kop, but if I did I would have only myself to blame if they moved their fat arses and gave me a kicking.
So just because saying something is upsetting, unwise, insulting and the wrong thing to do doesn't mean that the freedom to do so ceases to exist, but in is the most condemning phrase an English Gentleman can use, it is bad manners to do so.

* Manners maketh man
- William of Wykeham Motto of Winchester College

Posted by The Englishman at 6:34 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 4, 2006

Piss off you Papists!

World | Reuters.co.in

"The freedom of thought and expression, confirmed in the Declaration of Human Rights, can not include the right to offend religious feelings of the faithful. That principle obviously applies to any religion," the Vatican said.

With apologies for any Catholics who actually believe in the freedom of thought, the freedom of thought and expressions includes the right to insult the Left Footers as well as any other followers of different imaginary friends, so I will gratuitously enjoy that freedom!

Posted by The Englishman at 6:18 PM | Comments (18) | TrackBack

February 1, 2006

A&R Scott's Porage Oats

As Stephen Fry said " It had to be Scott's Porage Oats" for breakfast. Facing a cold day outside the porringer is bubbling away on the Aga with the spurtle to the ready as the Scott's Porage is prepared.
But wait, on the back of the Scott's OLD FASHIONED Porage packet there is a recipe for Flapjacks: Oats, Marge, Demerara, Golden Syrup and a pinch of Ginger, BUT it is only in Grammes. I haven't bought or sold anything in grammes since my College days, I'm not starting to now, not on the advice of the so called Scott's OLD FASHIONED Porage.
Time for a quick email. But no website, no email, maybe Scott's OLD FASHIONED Porage really are OLD FASHIONED! But lurking at the bottom is a customer service number in Leicester. In bloody England, what the hell are A&R Scott of Cupar, Fife, KY15 4PD doing letting the bloody Sassanachs get involved with their Old Fashioned milling of oats?
Leicester = pointy eared footballer = crisps = Quaker foods = Pepsico.
It seems A&R Scott of Cupar, Fife, KY15 4PD are just part of the bloody Pepsi Cola empire not some honest smiling bunch of Jocks. I yield to no one in my admiration of the benefits that American Multinationals bring, but if the stinking Yankees come over here buying up our heritage they can at least leave our customary weights and measures alone - it is not as though they use them themselves!

Posted by The Englishman at 6:37 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

January 31, 2006

Plod's Problem

The Policeman's Blog

If you have never read anything that I have linked to before, READ THIS.

It's a PA Consulting report on the problems with 24/7 response policing, funded (I think) by the Police Federation, and it should be printed out by every response officer and left in offices in Police Stations across the country.

Go on - read it. The madness that is destroying the Police Force Service is exposed, and it stands as a warning as it creeps through out the rest of the public services.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 30, 2006

Stuck on Stupid

The Business Online

GREAT Britain is facing long-term economic decline and social chaos unless it urgently improves its schools, business leaders and economists warned this weekend after it emerged that children have suffered an unprecedented drop in reasoning ability.
Employers said a groundbreaking study of 10,000 children, which reveals that 11- and 12-year-olds are between two and three years behind where they were 15 years ago in terms of their ability to think and reason, confirmed their worst fears. They said that better skills are essential in the global knowledge economy and to compete against highly skilled workers from India and China.

Hattip to http://www.eureferendum.blogspot.com/ - worth a read, if you can. Of course exam results are always improving so all is well in sunny nuLabout Land.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:17 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 27, 2006

Sea level rising - we are all doomed

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Sea level rise 'is accelerating'

Global sea levels could rise by about 30cm during this century if current trends continue, a study warns.
Australian researchers found that sea levels rose by 19.5cm between 1870 and 2004, with accelerated rates in the final 50 years of that period.

Source:
A 20th century acceleration in global sea-level rise

John A. Church
CSIRO Marine and Atmospheric Research, Hobart, Tasmania, Australia
Antarctic Climate and Ecosystems Cooperative Research Centre, Hobart, Tasmania, Australia

A quick look at the abstract shows he has been busy "reconstructing" lots of data, and he has been at it for years. Strangely he doesn't seem to have taken a walk out of his office down to the harbour, I mean Tasmania can't be that big, can it? Because the late, sadly missed John Dalyon his website points out a few errors in this theory and provided evidence in Tasmania, and back in 1999 the BBC picked up on it. ( http://www.john-daly.com/ has a more recent photo and data than 1999 and nothing has changed)

7 October, 1999 BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Mark of hot dispute

Is this the picture that takes the heat out of global warming? It shows an Ordnance Survey Bench Mark engraved into a rock face on a little island near Port Arthur, Tasmania.
It was put there in 1841 by the famous Antarctic explorer Captain Sir James Clark Ross and amateur meteorologist Thomas Lempriere to mark mean sea level.
What is so fascinating is that the mark appears to some to be 30 centimetres above the current mean sea level. Scientists who are sceptical about the existence of global warming say it clearly undermines oft-repeated claims that sea levels have risen over the past century because of rising temperatures on Earth.
"This is the oldest known such bench mark in the world," says greenhouse dissenter John Daly, who took the photograph. "Ross put it in an ideal location which is both geologically stable and open to the vast Southern ocean, with no local estuary effects to distort the tides."
The benchmark - a broad arrow containing a horizontal line about 20cm long - was cut into a sandstone cliff on the Isle of the Dead, so-called because it was used as a cemetery for dead convicts.
It has been the subject of intense scientific scrutiny in the last few years. Australia's Commonwealth Science and Industry Research Organisation (CSIRO) have resorted to satellites, sophisticated tidal gauges, and precision surveying to measure sea levels in the local area today.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:46 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 26, 2006

What a woman!

BBC NEWS | England | Lincolnshire | Reach for the sky from the garage

Susan Lipscombe-Ridley, like many people, needs more space in her garage.
But rather than being cluttered with old toys, unused tools and bottles waiting to be recycled, it is filled with a full-sized Spitfire.
And far from being an impulse buy at a car boot sale it has been built, from the blueprints and rivets up, at her Lincolnshire home.

Puts my feeble DIY efforts to shame...

Posted by The Englishman at 8:36 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

However you cocked up last year - it wasn't this bad..

Business 2.0: 2005's 101 Dumbest Moments in Business - February 1, 2006

101 Dumbest Moments in Business

Posted by The Englishman at 7:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 25, 2006

From the Forum

Free Market Forum :: View topic - Italians get there goolies back.

Italy approves self-defence law

The Italian parliament has passed legislation allowing people to shoot robbers in self-defence.
The law permits the use of guns and knives by people in homes or workplaces to protect lives or belongings.
The reform was introduced by the Northern League party, a right-wing member of the ruling coalition with a strong anti-crime platform.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4645228.stm

This isn't one of those EU wide things is it that are the great advantage of the EU is it? Why not?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 23, 2006

You can stop now.

Britain, UK news from The Times and The Sunday Times - Times Online

THE Royal Mail has saved an animal rights group from bankruptcy after hunt supporters cost it £500,000 by bombarding its Freepost address with junk mail and heavy parcels. ...

A round-robin e-mail was sent to hunters urging them to abuse the system by sending Christmas cards, empty envelopes and bulky packages.

Within a fortnight, van loads of bricks, telephone directories, heavy books, abusive letters and animal excrement were sent to the league’s offices in South London. One hunter posted a dead squirrel. ...

Now the Royal Mail has agreed that the league should pay only for those items of mail sent before it alerted the postal service to the problem and cancelled the Freepost address.

This means that the league’s bill will be about £2,000, not the estimated £500,000, which would have almost certainly bankrupted the group.

Wanda Wyporska, spokeswoman for the league, which was set up in 1924 to stop violence against animals, said that half the sacks of mail were from the West Country. Some senders, she said, had used company franking machines. “We are delighted to say that the hunters’ attempt to bankrupt the league has failed spectacularly. They have wasted the time and resources of the police and the Royal Mail through their petty and spiteful campaign. Next time the price of a letter goes up, you have the hunters to thank.”

Police said that they were investigating whether the culprits could be charged with theft, fraud or sending malicious post. Just forwarding the e-mail could lead to criminal proceedings. A spokesman for Royal Mail added: “There is no point sending any more mail, it will be returned or destroyed.”

So why should ordinary users of the Royal Mail subsidise a cockup by the LACS marketing department? Do you think the Royal Mail would have done the same for the Countryside Alliance, who have had more sense than set up a Feepost address, or Nestle, Monsanto or any other fashionable villain?

Posted by The Englishman at 6:37 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

January 22, 2006

The recipe for today

Whale Steak - 4 portions

4 slices of whalemeat @ 150 - 180 g
Salt and pepper, preferably freshly ground
4 onion rings
2 dessert spoonfulls of finely diced green or red peppers
1 dessert spoonful of finely diced parsley
1 dessert spoonful of finely diced gherkins

Carve the meat into slices of about 1.5 to 2 cm thick, beat them with your hands and press them into shape. Preheat the frying pan and melt some butter in it. Brown the butter before adding the meat. Fry the steaks on both sides. Whale meat should be fried for about 4-5 minutes on each side. The steaks taste best when they are medium rare, but they should be warmed right through and not eaten raw. Serve the steaks on a plate, place an onion ring on each of them and fill it with peppers, parsley and gherkins. Potato scollops taste good together with the steaks. Serve with a bowl of good, crisp lettuce and salad.

or

Joint of Whale Meat Steeped in Red Wine Marinade
6-8 portions:
1 1/4 kilos of whale meat
3 dl red wine
1 dl vegetable oil
3 ground cloves
1/2 teaspoonful of coarsly ground pepper
2 teaspoonfuls of salt

The Marinade
3/4 litres of juices from the meat Thickening (milk and flour) 4 dessert spoonfuls of sour cream (20% rømme) Sugar colouring Salt

It may be a good idea to bind the joint to help it keep in good shape. Place it in a small oven dish and pour the marinade over. Leave the joint there until the next day, turning it at regular intervals. Remove the joint from the dish, dry it well and rub it with salt. Cook the joint until it turns a pleasant brown colour all over, turn down the heat and add water to reach 2-3 cm up the side of the joint, approx. 3/4 litre. Let the joint simmer for about 20 minutes, turn it over and leave it for another 20 minutes. Measure enough of the juices to make enough marinade, about 3/4 litre. Add the thickening to the marinade, and then the sour cream to taste. Serve with boiled beans or other vegetables, and potatoes - boiled or fried in the pan.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:56 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

January 17, 2006

Paedo Panic

David Aaronovitch The Times
The paedophile panic: why we have reached half way to Bonkers Island

...The Mail describes as "one of the most disturbing cases" of all, that of William Gibson. Gibson "the weekend's cause célèbre" was convicted of indecent assault against a minor, but subsequently found to be teaching in a boys school on the south coast. According to reports many of the parents are deeply unhappy with the discovery. Mary Nunn, mother of 16-year-old Darryl, told the Mail how dreadful it all was, and how threatening...

But Gibson's more detailed history was that he had had sex with a 15-year-old girl pupil a quarter of a century ago, subsequently married her and had a child with her. The chances of a Portchester pupil being made pregnant and then wed by this particular maths teacher must be rated as slim. But then, I don't know Darryl.

It’s pretty obvious that Gibson is not a paedophile and is no kind of threat to adolescent boys...

This "one size fits all" approach to Sexual Offenders is mad. Obviously there are some Paedophiles who commit such disgusting crimes that the only suitable punishments I can think of would make Saddam blanch at the severity And with luck being known as a "nonce" in prison will provide them with an opportunity to experience many of them.
On the other hand we read of Jodie Marsh losing her virginity at 14 and don't think of an appalling crime having being committed, we vote Charlotte Church "Rear of the Year" when she has just turned 16 and don't hand all of ourselves in for being kiddy fiddlers. But if you are 16 and bed your 15 year old girlfriend you risk being lumped together with the real pervs on the "Banned for Life" list as a danger. Is that fair and proportional punishment?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:14 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Stern Warning

Telegraph | News | Warning over Viagra and damage to sight

Men who take drugs for impotency such as Viagra ... may have a 10-fold increased risk of damaging their eyesight

There was also a small increased risk in those who had had a stroke.

Or two - also warnings of the dangers of developing hairy hands and spots were given by Victorian parents.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:49 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Good Work - Carry on

BBC NEWS | England | Oxfordshire | Suicide prisoner was given razors

A man who shot dead his estranged wife and sister-in-law killed himself with razor blades given to him by prison staff, an inquest has heard.

For many categories of prisoners I believe each cell should come equipped with a legth of rope and a hook in the ceiling, I for one wont be missing him.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 16, 2006

MSM errors of the Year

Regret The Error: Crunks '05: The Year in Media Errors and Corrections
From the Liverpool Daily Post in England:

Technology has revolutionised most of our lives in recent years and the media has particularly benefited from developments in IT and communications. But all technology should always be treated with a degree of caution. This was a lesson brought into sharp focus last week following a review of the Welsh National Opera's double bill performance of Cavalleria Rusticana and Pagliacci at the Empire Theatre. The problem arose when the computer spell checker did not recognise the term "WNO" (Welsh National Opera). A slip of the finger caused it to be replaced with the word "winos". All stories in the Daily Post go through a series of checks for error, but unfortunately this one slipped through the net. It just goes to show that it's hard to beat the good, old-fashioned dictionary.

Calling Welsh Musicians "Winos" isn't normally an error!

More serious ones at the site as well.

Posted by The Englishman at 12:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 12, 2006

Be like Dad, Keep Mum, Careless talk costs lives...

BBC NEWS | UK | Secret retreat marks 60 years of diplomacy

A diplomatic hideaway in the south of England, scene of decades of international deals, is marking its 60th anniversary - quietly.

You won't find Wilton Park on a map.

But the breathless BBC does link to this supersecret hideaway's website - Wilton Park - which notes that "When Wilton Park conferences are not in session, all the facilities and the beautiful historic environment are available for business meetings, management training and away days, and also weddings. " Contact details, Map and even the signs on the road which help you find it are all noted.
Well if that really is the most secretest place our Foreign OFfice can manage I think we can sleep safely in our beds tonight.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:57 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Watch the Green's heads explode!

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Plants revealed as methane source

"We now have the spectre that new forests might increase greenhouse warming through methane emissions rather than decrease it by sequestering carbon dioxide."

major implications for the rules of the Kyoto Protocol on climate change, which allows countries and companies to offset emissions from the burning of fossil fuels like coal and oil by funding the planting of new forests ...

How will they blame Bush for this one?
As the BBC fairly says:

The study highlights, however, the extreme complexity of the relationship between the biological processes of the Earth and the chemistry of our atmosphere - and how much there is yet to discover.

Posted by The Englishman at 5:42 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 11, 2006

Tiger vs Goblin

BBC NEWS | World | Africa | Zoo tiger kills SA crime suspect

A criminal suspect on the run ended up being mauled to death by a caged tiger, South African police say.
The man took refuge in the Bengal tiger's cage at the Bloemfontein Zoo. A visitor to the zoo on Sunday noticed a body covered in bite marks in the cage.
"The man was involved in a robbery and was chased by security guards," police spokeswoman Elsa Gerber told the South African Broadcasting Corporation.
"He had nowhere else to go, so he jumped over the zoo fence," she added.

I have always liked tigers!

Posted by The Englishman at 7:39 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

January 9, 2006

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Health and Safety Inspector..

Telegraph | News | Schools alarmed over orange pips

Orange pips and plum stones have become the latest concern for health and safety enthusiasts, a report reveals.

Some schools, which are giving out free fruit to their pupils under a health initiative funded by the Scottish Executive, believe that fruits with pips are dangerous and so are avoiding them.

So no more counting rhymes as the stones are arranged around the bowl. Stick to the deep fried Mars Bars - they are much safer...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 5, 2006

Failure is the norm

I have just finished reading the excellent Paul Ormerond's book 'Why Most Things Fail'.
One snippet stood out - In the book he argues that Companies, policies, initiatives etc fail more often than we realise and that the process is hard to predict - read the book for the full argument, needless to say the Market mechanism and constant innovation are the answer.
As a side issue it is how we deal with failure that is important - we know how slow Governments are to recognise failure and act. Coca Cola made a bit of a hash of it when they introduced "New Coke" - Huge investment in research, money and prestige, but they got it wrong. New Coke introduced 23rd April 1985 - withdrawn and Old Coke back 11th July 1985. That is the speed the Market makes things happen.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:38 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 4, 2006

'Miraculous' rescue for US miners

BBC NEWS | News Front Page

Twelve men trapped underground after an explosion in a US mine on Monday are found alive.

Good news.

UPDATE - Sorry, as you know now the story was sadly wrong - it seems only one survived and he is in bad shape. I checked a couple of sources and waited for the BBC to put up a full story rather than a headline before posting. But it seems it was all based on overheard phonecalls rather than a confirmed statement. The blame is being passed around by the MSM.

Michelle Malkin pointed out how " The shameless Blame Bush nuts are already starting in" - "But they voted for him...West Virginia went for the guy by a nine point margin if I am not mistaken. I also know that the town where the accident took place went for him by over 70%. ,...You vote for this guy knowing very well that you may loose your job or even your life..well tough luck..you yourselves are to blame!" -"Now let's have a bunch of nice funerals, heavy on the bunting, and be done with it shall we."

I wonder how they will respond now

Posted by The Englishman at 5:59 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 3, 2006

Welcome to some dangerous ideas

Edge

The Earth can cope with global warming, schools should be banned and we should learn to love bacteria. These are among the dangerous ideas revealed by a poll of leading thinkers.
John Brockman, the New York-based literary agent and publisher of The Edge website posed the question: what is your dangerous idea?

One I picked out as interesting is "Marx was right: the "state" will evaporate and cease to have useful meaning as a form of human organization" by JAMES O'DONNELL

Posted by The Englishman at 7:22 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 29, 2005

Spluttering into my port

I was admiring my large scoop of Stilton, as it tried to run off the plate, and wondering if anything more idiotic than the label that was on the original packet extisted - "Best before Nov 12 - keep Refrigerated - eat within three days of opening" - when I came across this:
Tim Worstall

The FSA said it was eager to reach a voluntary agreement with the Stilton makers but warned that mandatory limits were possible.
"We are responsible for finding a way of reducing the nation's salt and we have a target of six grams a day by 2010," a spokesman said.

Unfuckingbelievable - a glory of English Cuisine and the Snodgrasses want to ruin it on some crackpot theory whereas they should be out hanging the idiots who vacuum pack it and ruin it that way.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:13 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

December 24, 2005

Please help!

Dearly Beloved, I haven't asked much of you over the last year as I have served up a daily diet of tosh and vitriol. But today I am asking a small favour - please visit, or if you have a blog please link to this excellent website my brother has created. I think the name says it all.
Adopt a Sheep For Meat

Posted by The Englishman at 1:17 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 22, 2005

'Tis the season of Goodwill

I was a little sceptical of an email I recieved a week or so ago so I tried to look into it further - the sender now feels he is being hassled by the Rozzers for sending it so I won't use it now. However I did see this today:
Scotsman.com News - UK - Not much good will in Christmas cards from hunt lobby

The League Against Cruel Sports is currently running a money-raising drive for its Hunt Crimewatch Programme. The money will be used "to buy video cameras, hand-held global-positioning systems and walkie-talkies to monitor hunting activity".
The anti-hunt group purchased a Freepost address to make it easier for donors to send in the money.
But, as with all Freepost addresses, the host organisation has to pick up the postage charges for all mail sent to that address, with every envelope costing the recipient more than a first-class stamp. It costs £210 to set up a standard Freepost address, and the recipient then has to pay 39p for each piece of mail received.

The league spokeswoman said it was an offence to abuse the Freepost system and an offence to incite abuse of the system, both of which were being investigated.

In the meantime, the League Against Cruel Sports now has thousands of extra, and unexpected, Christmas cards with which to decorate its office.

What a shame, in the spirit of peace and goodwill to all men I will send them some money or something - that address again:

LEAGUE AGAINST CRUEL SPORTS
FREEPOST SE 5087
LONDON SE1 1BR

So if you support them send them something nice - don't be a meany and send them something heavy and useless as that is naughty and I am advising you against it.

Posted by The Englishman at 12:36 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

December 20, 2005

The Christmas number one

I may be a little out of touch with modern beat combos and so until I read about it I hadn't heard the Number One single -JCB by Nizlopi

The story behind the JCB Song is as touching as the song is memorable. Mr Concannon, who suffers from dyslexia, came downstairs one day a couple of years ago with writer's block, and asked his father what he should write about. "What about tractors?" came the reply.
Mr Concannon used to take his son out on his digger on days when he would give him "compassionate leave" from school bullies. Mr Parker said: "It reminded him of what it was like as a kid, sitting on his dad's toolbox thinking his dad was the coolest thing in the world.
"At first I thought it had no chance, the song was a bit of a joke, but it's always been our most popular song live. People just love it."
Mr Concannon snr, 51, said of his son: "He was victimised, made to feel stupid and ridiculed on a daily basis by both students and, more disturbingly, teachers.
"He had problems literally every day and to see him in tears was not uncommon. But he still achieved three A levels and a 2:1 degree in English, so he's had the last laugh. And now he's looking at being Christmas number one."
Telegraph

See - kids do want Dads who are heroes who protect them from the world. Dads who do real jobs like driving diggers. Real Dads.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:35 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

NHS news from Gloucester today

BBC NEWS | England | Gloucestershire | Maggots found on patient's face

A woman was shocked to find maggots crawling on her mother's face in a hospital's intensive care unit.
Nyree Ellison Anjos alerted staff at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital when she saw the larvae wriggling near a feeding tube attached to her mother's nose.
Christine Ellison died two days later, but the family is satisfied the maggot incident had no bearing.
The hospital has apologised to the family saying it was "an isolated and rare occurrence."

BBC NEWS | England | Gloucestershire | Hospital fails to spot broken arm

A hospital trust has apologised after failing to spot a seven-year-old girl had broken her arm.
Doctors at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital told Abigail Thomas's parents she should keep moving her "badly sprained shoulder."

If you live in Gloucester try and stay well, if you feel a bit dicky get a taxi to Wiltshire...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:11 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 16, 2005

Cleanliness is next to Godliness

Anthroblogogy gives us an insight into the hobby of reloading. No I haven't the time.
Reminds of when Old Bull was in the arms business down these parts. He had a lot of MilSurp rounds that had gone a bit "stained"; he used to get the boy to wash them off with acid in a cement mixer before repacking them for export, yes live rounds! I believe in certain circles they still talk of when the police finally decided his old shipping container had too much sweaty stuff in it to be allowed to continue sitting behind his house in the village. Took them a week to empty it...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:05 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 15, 2005

A salty old seaman writes

Wills and Harry, their father, uncle, grandfather, great-grandfather and great-great-grandfather
were all naval officers so why have they chosen the Army? Is it because they are only capable of marching about shouting very loudly but not of actually handling complicated weaponry?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:29 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Hospital Dirt

A snapshot of hospital cleanliness in England
Findings from the Healthcare Commission’s rapid inspection programme
December 2005

An interesting report, well presented which shows that Hospitals can achieve cleanliness, but that many don't and are in fact appalling - I won't quote from it because I note the report is:

© 2005 Commission for Healthcare Audit and Inspection
Items may be reproduced free of charge in any format or medium
provided that they are not for commercial resale. This consent is
subject to the material being reproduced accurately and provided
that it is not used in a derogatory manner...

And derogatory is my middle name.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:29 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 14, 2005

Is my home my castle?

Wonko's World wonders who is telling porkies and why about Valuation Officer's rights.

BBC NEWS | Politics | Home valuing 'hides stealth tax'

Inspectors have been equipped with 2,126 digital cameras, costing £438,749.
Householders who refuse to let them in could be fined £500 and receive a criminal record.
In the written reply, Home Office minister Hazel Blears said: "A person who intentionally obstructs a valuation officer commits an offence and may be liable to a fine not exceeding level two (£500) on the standard scale."

The Times November 23, 2005

Sir, Contrary to the views of your correspondents (letters, Nov 21), staff of the Valuation Office Agency have no powers of internal inspection when valuing homes for council tax banding purposes.

Internal inspections are very rare and occur only when a taxpayer is appealing against their property’s banding. Even then, the householder has complete discretion to limit an inspection or refuse it altogether. It would also be extremely rare for photographs to be taken internally, and this would not be done without the owner’s express permission.

To suggest that officials have the right to enter homes, and to take photographs of private possessions is ill-informed scaremongering.

Scenic views or structural improvements will have a bearing on council tax banding only if they affect its overall value. This has been the case since council tax was introduced in 1993.

GERALDINE O’CONNELL
National Secretary,
Prospect union
London SE1

House of Commons Hansard Written Answers for 24 Nov 2005 (pt 22)

Mrs. Spelman: To ask the Deputy Prime Minister pursuant to the answer of 11 November 2005, Official Report, column 777W, on the Valuation Office Agency, what powers the Agency and its agents have to fine residents who refuse entry. [30665]
Mr. Woolas: None.

I have feeling that there is a lot of twisting here between what is the position now and what will be the position as soon as nu-Labour can sort it out.

I plan to welcome the Snodgrass in with the invitation that we won't mind him taking photos as long as he doesn't mind us taking photos of him, oh and a video as well as we are producing a little Art House movie tentatively entitled "Confessions of a Valuation Officer", meet Ingrid and Astrid who are starring, yes it is very hot, do take your tie off, yes they are very friendly....

Posted by The Englishman at 8:20 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

December 12, 2005

Time Gentlemen please

ONE of Britain’s leading surgeons has called on the government to introduce curbs on the sale of alcohol, limiting the amount that customers can consume per visit to a pub or bar.
John Smith, president of the Royal College of Surgeons of Edinburgh, believes that such restrictions would be the logical next step to improving the nation’s health following the ban on smoking in public buildings.
“I think for a government to follow the American model of saying, for the benefit of each patron, we will provide three drinks only, would be very interesting to look at.”
“I realise that not everyone is likely to agree with this and there will be those who will claim it would be another example of the nanny state,” he said.

"A Nanny State" - the thought never even occurred to me! - I just thought when you and your colleagues have finally got your house in order and stopped killing off so many of the people in your care then maybe you might deserve to be given a platform to spout off your views. But at the moment you would be better employed with a mop and a gallon of Jeyes Fluid...

5000 deaths through bad NHS services

Almost five thousand deaths could be prevented each year if the country's worst managed hospitals achieved a small improvement in performance, according to a study.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:52 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

What we learn at School today

Telegraph | News | Shield your pupils from 'terrifying' Santa Claus, teachers told

Children should be protected from "terrifying" Father Christmas, shielded from "alarming" pantomimes and encouraged not to send wasteful Christmas cards, a Government website has advised teachers.

When arranging Christmas parties in schools, teachers should also avoid arranging games of a competitive nature so that no child feels they have "underperformed", the website said.

Sending your child to school is "terrifying" as you can never be sure what rubbish the teachers try and cram into their heads. My only solace is the fact that most kids rebel against their teachers and do the opposite. One of the delicious ironies of life is that all those hippy-dippy tie-died teachers of the late 1960s created the Yuppy generation.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 9, 2005

Reserve me the bed nearest the door

Telegraph | News | NHS may not treat smokers, drinkers or obese

"Self-inflicted" etc etc. Strangely these evil people have all paid vast sums of tax on their sins. Whereas the tax free sins; sporting injuries, tattoos, drugs and certain sexual practices, the NHS are happy to treat and outreach to....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:25 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

December 7, 2005

Hard Puzzle for Torygraph readers

Telegraph newspaper online The Wednesday Work-out..
If you think you've solved it correctly, you could win a sudoku board game by posting your solution to: The Wednesday Work-Out, The Daily Telegraph...

A good old fashioned "put it in the post" type puzzle to while away the cold winter night in front of the fire. So why does it have a large red button marked "Reveal Answer"? Are Telegraph readers (a) so trustworthy so they wouldn't cheat or (b) too stupid to notice it?

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December 5, 2005

Shooting the Government

FREE MARKET FAIRY TALES points out that:

to shoot driven pheasant costs (the shooter pays) about £25 per bird, for grouse it is likely that you will be charged in the region of £50 per bird. However, to rid the country of its rather too randy 6,000 ruddy ducks is budgeted to cost £3.3m, or if you like a whooping £550 per bird (the Government is going to pay the shooters).
That Ladies and Gentlemen, is why the Government is never the solution, always the problem.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:41 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

The real recycling story

BBC NEWS | Programmes | Real Story | Recyclers' rubbish dumped abroad

According to the Environment Agency, about half of the 8m tons of green bin material thrown out each year in the UK ends up overseas.

the BBC revealed 500 tons had been shipped unsorted to Indonesia.
Customs at Jakarta impounded containers holding mixed up paper, cardboard, plastics and cans from UK households.
According to Indonesia's environment minister, the only possible consequence of such a trail was that the rubbish from England would end up dumped on his country.

The one recycling plant in Jakarta did not receive foreign rubbish and was struggling to cope with the waste produced locally.

Rachmat Witoelar told Real Story: "Somebody has taken them [the English residents who recycled] for a ride.

"It's against international law. They should be aware of that.

"They [the exporter] are trying to dump it somewhere when we are not looking."

Yep - we are being taken for a ride by the whole recycling charade.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:15 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 2, 2005

It's that time of year again. Happy Kwanzaa

Kwanzaa
The holiday, then will of necessity, be engaged as an ancient and living cultural tradition ... sorry it was invented in the late 1960s, well go and read this for the full background.

And then cringe as you watch shovelfulls of our money and Liberal white guilt being ploughed into celebrating it. As I said I won't be celebrating Kwanzaa

Kwanzaa as a festival is a fraud, a Marxist fraud at that, recently founded by a torturer in sordid violence, paranoia, and mayhem some three decades ago in a section of America that has vanished down the memory hole.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:13 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 1, 2005

"What about the workers"

Telegraph | News | Work till you drop and pay more tax for the privilege

Actuaries claimed last night that the Turner report underestimated the impact of longevity. Further and steeper rises in the retirement age would be needed - with those starting work now unlikely to get state pensions before 75.....

There is a strange silence from the Unions on this one - not the Public Service Unions which loudly protest the rights of their members to retire just after lunch on their second day at work. No I mean the real unions, the ones that represent the few workers left actually banging bits of metal, swinging hammers and digging holes. It is fine carrying on in front of the computer until you are 75 but struggling into your overalls while hanging onto your zimmer frame ain't so much fun. Or will we see even vaster swathes of workers retiring on "the disability"?

Posted by The Englishman at 6:59 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Global warming will cool us?

Telegraph | News | Global warming 'will bring cooler climate for UK'

Average temperatures in Britain are expected to fall significantly within a decade because the warm Atlantic current that maintains Europe's mild climate has slowed down by 30 per cent.

But go to the source and what do you find?

New Scientist Breaking News - Failing ocean current raises fears of mini ice age

.....most of the slow-down happened between 1992 and 1998.
The changes are too big to be explained by chance, co-author Stuart Cunningham told New Scientist from a research ship off the Canary Islands, where he is collecting more data. "We think the findings are robust."
But Richard Wood, chief oceanographer at the UK Met Office's Hadley Centre for climate research in Exeter, says the Southampton team's findings leave a lot unexplained. The changes are so big they should have cut oceanic heating of Europe by about one-fifth - enough to cool the British Isles by 1°C and Scandinavia by 2°C. "We haven't seen it yet," he points out.
Though unseasonably cold weather last month briefly blanketed parts of the UK in snow, average European temperatures have been rising, Wood says. Measurements of surface temperatures in the North Atlantic indicate a strong warming trend during the 1990s, which seems now to have halted.

As the late John Daly said in his last article:

NEW ON THE SEPP WEB

The logical trap in linking weather events to global warming is that cold events (such as the recent Arctic cold wave which swept North America and recently south-eastern Europe and Turkey) which run completely counter to the global warming theory, must also be explained in terms of that theory. That is where this new `ice age' scare is so useful for an industry that spends its whole time (and taxpayers money) dreaming up one global catastrophe scenario after another. By invoking the possibility of `global warming causing an ice age', the industry are now in the position of being able to point to each and every weather event, whether hot or cold, as being evidence of global warming. Heads we win, tails you lose. It has become a closed logical system where the theory is now impervious to any external evidence that may contradict it. And this is an intellectual black hole which climate scientists themselves were not pushed into, but enthusiastically jumped into with scant regard for basic principles of science.

So, don't blame the media - climate science is itself to blame for this absurd situation where an entire science is now impervious to any internal or external evidence that might question the quasi-religion they have embraced. Demonstrated expertise in any complex discipline commands some authority among the non-expert public. But the many errors of this particular science are so gross that they have squandered whatever little authority they did have.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:50 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

November 28, 2005

Cat Blogging

EU Referendum reminds me that I haven't joined the vast majority of Bloggers of posting pictures of me and my Cat - to remedy that here is a picture of my Cat -" D4"- and I playing outside in the sun a couple of years ago...

Posted by The Englishman at 11:50 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 27, 2005

Jumpers for Goalposts

As the damp freezing weather permeates the Castle bastions I tried to be helpful and found a length of wool, tied it to the eldest Englishette's mittens and threaded it through the arms of her outdoor coat. Ah she won't lose them now and so no more cold hands. "You can't do that! Don't you know a child was strangled by that..."
You can't argue with the modern folk wisdom of the school gates, there is no logic so there can not be any rational discussion; so I cut the cord and have wandered away looking for the corkscrew.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:54 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 25, 2005

Question of the day

Q. How many dogs is it legal to use in the recapture of the escaped chipmunks?

Hattip to theCountryside Alliance

A. The chipmunk is not an exempt species under the Hunting Act 2004 so ordinarily it would only be legal to use two or less dogs to flush one to a gun. However, because the chipmunks have escaped from captivity the situation is different. It is legal to use an unlimited number of dogs in the recapture (dead or alive) of an escaped mammal....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:44 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 24, 2005

Aaah Diddums

Telegraph | News | Muslim salesman 'hurt' by wine prizes

British-born Mr Khan, who works for Direct Line Insurance, is seeking damages for "hurt feelings" under the Employment Equality (Religion or Belief) Regulations 2003. (He) claimed that the bottles of wine on offer put him at a disadvantage because, as a Muslim, he could not drink alcohol and was therefore unable to claim the prizes.

Hurt feelings! How on earth can a telephone insurance salesman claim to have "feelings" that might be hurt? "Quote me bloody happy", or what ever, you would need more than a warm bottle of Tesco Pinot Grigio to make me feel "happy" about the scum.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:57 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Fetch

Telegraph | News | The trusty old dog who fetched a live grenade

A retired gun dog proved that his retrieving instinct, if not his judgment, was still sound when he proudly presented his owner with an unexpected find - a live hand grenade.

Just the sort of dog Mr FM needs

Posted by The Englishman at 7:48 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 23, 2005

Petting Zoo

eclectech : pointless but fun
A silly squirrelly animation for a fabulously funny but rude song...

Thanks to Misty for the link, she is looking for someone to slip her one today, I only wish I could oblige as it was her Birthday yesterday, Happy Birthday - chav!

Posted by The Englishman at 7:26 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

England's second class NHS

BBC NEWS | UK | Wales | No flu vaccine shortage in Wales

Telegraph | News | Hewitt accuses GPs as flu vaccine stocks shrink

The Government was at the centre of an escalating row over the flu vaccine shortage last night after ministers tried to blame doctors for causing the crisis....

No get it right - the government is trying to pass the buck in England to the Doctors for not organising a piss up in a brewery flu jab supplies, whereas the sheep-shaggers seem to be able to spend their subsidies in stockpiling enough with no problem.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:24 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 22, 2005

Education is a wondeful thing

Browsing my local college website for some information I came across this part time course:

Part time course sheet : Appreciating Scottish Malt Whiskies

Who is the course for?
This course is for anyone over 18 who is interested in learning about and enjoying malt whiskies

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What does the course aim to do?
To broaded knowledge of the subject, how to identify the different malts and introduce new flavours.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What will be covered?
An introduction to the regions of Scotland, including the Highlands and Islands, where malt whiskies are produced
a more in depth study of a few regions and some sampling from these areas
the different production methods
aroma and taste
the importance of ageing
what is meant by single, double and blended
the social conventions associated with drinking whisky

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Will I have to study at home?

Strangely they don't answer that - isn't it wonderful how your tax money is being spent!

Posted by The Englishman at 2:58 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

That survey in full

Mirror.co.uk - News - Latest - A third of Britons blame flirty women for rape

One in three Britons believes a woman who flirts is partly or totally responsible if she is raped, a "shocking" opinion poll showed on Monday.
Between a third and a quarter of respondents also put part or all of the blame on the woman if she fails to say "no" clearly to the man, wears sexy clothes, drinks too much, has many sexual partners and walks alone in a deserted area.
"It is shocking that so many people will lay the blame for being raped at the feet of women themselves," said Kate Allen, a spokeswoman for Amnesty International UK which commissioned the research.
"These findings should act as a wake-up call to the government to urgently tackle the triple problem of the high incidence of rape, low conviction rates and a sexist blame culture," she added.

Oh so it is a sexist problem is it? One part of the report that didn't get reported was this:

The older demographic and those from the DE social group stand out as being more likely to think a woman’s behaviour can make them in some way responsible for being raped.

Interestingly, there were very few gender differences in attitudes; with the only stand out difference relating to male’s opinion that certain dress can make a woman responsible for being raped.

So not very sexist at all! The attitude that I think is sexist is the MSM assumption that no women ever has any responsibility for being raped. Remember we aren't talking about a stranger with a knife type rapes in most cases, we are talking about intercourse that happened with out consent. The definition of rape has been eroded so much that even if she has invited the man into bed, had sex once with him, initiated a second bout and suddenly has second thoughts during the vinegar strokes it becomes rape. So I'm with the older poorer people who know how a small percentage of women behave, and that they should take some responsibility for their actions.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:25 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 21, 2005

What a waste

Telegraph | News | West 'should buy the Afghan opium crop'
The West should buy up Afghanistan's opium crop and license its use for pain-relief medicines rather than trying to destroy the crop, it is proposed today.
The Senlis Council, an international drug policy think-tank with operations in Afghanistan, says the planned deployment of 3,000 British troops to smash the narcotics trade there is doomed to fail.
The study suggests that a military response to the problem will prove ineffective and simply destabilise the country's fledgling democracy. Emmanuel Reinert, the executive director of Senlis, said: "It is totally unrealistic even to attempt to eliminate the crop.
"How can one hope to achieve stability and gain the support of the farmers for a new Afghanistan through the destruction of the crops that provide for their families?"

Quite - let Boots buy the stuff and flog it to the punters who want it - clean and legal and I wouldn't even begrudge Gordon slapping a tax on it - anything would be better than the present Drug War mess.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:15 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 17, 2005

Religious Education in Wiltshire - no Bibles allowed.

Christian father slams `one-sided' RE lessons - This Is Wiltshire

Mr Simpkins, who said Tristian had been suffering for around two years, met his son's teacher on Monday. He said after the meeting: "I think they really want me to withdraw Tristan because it's the easiest option for them.
"He would go there and disagree with what the teacher said and they probably don't want that in the class.
"He's decided to stay put because if he comes out of the syllabus he won't be able to sit the religious education GCSE. He'll study Islam to a certain point.''
Mr Simpkins said his son's lecturer once called him at home after Tristian read the Bible during a lesson. He said last Tuesday Tristian was ejected from the room when he wrote God Save The Queen on his exercise book.
"We've been having problems for some time," he said. "The whole Year 10 syllabus is Islam, Muhammad and very much one-sided. There are no Bibles in his RE lessons. They give out one book, you can't research it yourself, which I think is wrong and a lot of his class mates feel the same way. The children don't like it."

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November 16, 2005

Good ole boys

Telegraph | News | Ban Asian marriages of cousins, says MP

In Bradford, more than three quarters of all Pakistani marriages are believed to be between first cousins.

I didn't realise they all drove around in pick ups, swigging moonshine and listening to Country and Western - shows how little I know of Asian culture. Even Pewsey hasn't got such a high percentage, hell some of them there will even marry an outsider with only five fingers!

Posted by The Englishman at 6:37 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 14, 2005

Burning Rubber and The Pursuit of Happiness

Took the Son and Heir to the MPH '05 show yesterday - it is in London next week, recommended!
Fast cars, conspicuous consumption, unabashed luxury, poking fun at Health and Safety, environmentalists and Tony Blair, loud explosions and Clarkson in good form - what's not to like?

And yet looking round the packed auditorium it didn't look like the sort of people Dave and David were appealing to, where is the message about Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness - the latter has been forgotten, and yet maybe it is the most powerful argument for Small Government there is!

Posted by The Englishman at 7:11 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

National Ammo Week

The Gun Guy commands: Buy "100 rounds, or more, of your favorite / most-used / in-case-I-ever-get-a-gun-in-this-caliber ammo"
100 rounds of .38 special bought Boss - duty done and have a good one!

Posted by The Englishman at 7:00 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 11, 2005

Brazil voted against a gun ban

I have been expecting to see more on the Blogosphere about the Brazilian referendum on whether to ban handguns, but I seem to have missed the articles. Before the vote the media seemed to just expect people to "see sense" and vote for a ban - this extract shows that some commentators can't get to grips with the fact that they didn't..
Gringoes

By voting not to ban the sales of guns and ammunition in the referendum held on October 23, Brazilians have condemned thousands of their fellow citizens to death in coming years. Angry husbands will shoot their wives during domestic rows, irate middle-aged men will shoot their teenage neighbors because they are fed up telling them to reduce the volume of their CD players, motorists will shoot other motorists for denting their cars, while physically or mentally handicapped people will kill themselves in moments of despair. The killers and thieves among us will see the vote as a declaration of war and become even more trigger happy. The flow of guns into private hands will continue, enriching arms manufacturers, gun dealers and feeding Brazil's parasitical private security industry. The pro-arms lobby was so effective in selling the message that guns are good that one can expect to see a surge in sales. Perhaps guns will become popular Christmas presents this year along with cellular phones and Ipods. Members of the family can then compete to see who will be the first to fire the weapon and kill a criminal.
The sheer size of the majority against the ban - 63% to 36% - was almost unbelievable considering that polls showed an overwhelming majority in favor at the start of the campaign. Not one of the 26 states and Federal District returned a majority in favor and even then only seven states had more than 40% voting "Yes". The "Yes" vote was highest in violent states like São Paulo, Rio de Janeiro, Alagoas and Bahia. On the other hand, voters in the equally violent "Wild West" states of Acre and Roraima voted against the ban by 83% and 85% respectively. Rio Grande do Sul had the dubious distinction of the highest "No" vote in the whole country (almost 87%) showing that the gauchos still revel in their historical martial image.

Funny thing asking the people want they want - sometimes the elites don't get the answers they want....

Posted by The Englishman at 9:13 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

November 9, 2005

It is in a church - does that give a hint?

BBC NEWS | England | London | Memorial service 'too Christian'

Organisers of a memorial service to remember murder victims say its future is in doubt because of concerns it may exclude non-Christians.
The service at Trafalgar Square's St Martin-in-the-Fields church attracts hundreds of bereaved people each year.
But the Home Office, which provides £2,000 funding, has asked for proof it reaches "all parts of the community".

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November 8, 2005

Darwin Award Nominees

Three die playing catch with grenade

BANJA LUKA, Bosnia (Reuters) - A hand grenade being used instead of a ball in a game of catch exploded early on Saturday killing three youths in this Bosnian town,...

I have said it before - "When you remove the pin, Mr. Hand Grenade is no longer your friend."

Posted by The Englishman at 7:15 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Needs firing

Telegraph | News | Safety fears silence Poppy Day salute

The traditional firing of a salute to mark the beginning and end of the two-minute silence has been cancelled for Remembrance Sunday this weekend on health and safety grounds.
War veterans were left fuming in the seaside town of Walton, in Essex, after lifeboatmen told them that they would not be able to fire maroons at the beginning and end of the silence on advice from RNLI headquarters.

It must be a miserable life being the Health and Safety Manager at the RNLI - I'm sure that the staff at headquarters have been fully briefed against dangers such as straightening paper-clips, so sharp! but the volunteers don't seem to listen going out in all that nasty weather to save people, and without filling out all the risk assessment forms first!. But still at least you can stamp your little feet about the maroons.

Of course being the reactionary sod I am I would suggest that the miserable worm of an HS manger should "assume the position", the maroon should be inserted, with the aid of some axle grease (I'm not cruel) and then after everyone else has retired to a safe distance, lit.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:06 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 3, 2005

Domestic Violence

Inspired by The Sun's campaign against Domestic Violence (which strangely seems to only be about male violence against women) I had a quick look at a campaigning website:

Everywoman.co.uk :
Quotes:
2 women are killed each week by a current or former partner in England and Wales
Domestic violence kills more 19-44 year old women than anything else - more than cancer, road accidents and muggings.

Wait a moment - that is 104 women killed - an appalling number, far more than I have noticed in the crime reports but let us take it as a given. In 2004 (source) 5391 women of that age range died - so every other cause of death caused less than 100 deaths, that is at least 52 other "causes of death". Me thinks they are over egging their cause. The last figure I saw was that total deaths on roads were about 3500 people a year, I don't have the split by age and sex but do you believe that it would be less than 104 for this large group? When you are campaigning for a worthy cause you shouldn't need to make stuff up, it doesn't help, it makes cynics like me distrust everything you say.

Posted by The Englishman at 4:27 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Safe in their hands

Telegraph | News | Blunders by hospital staff 'kill 34,000 every year'

... the NAO said one in 10 patients admitted to an NHS hospital would be "unintentionally harmed".

It also claimed that half of the incidents could be avoided if lessons were learnt from previous errors.

The figure was based on research at two hospitals. Among the 10 per cent of patients harmed by accident, 19 per cent suffered "moderate impairment", six per cent suffered "permanent impairment" and eight per cent died.

The NAO analysed further data provided by 169 trusts on deaths "as a result of patient safety incidents".

"This showed that in 2004-5 there were some 2,181 deaths recorded, but it is acknowledged that there is significant under-reporting of deaths and serious incidents," it said. "Other published estimates of deaths as a result of patient safety incidents range from 840 to 34,000 but in reality the NHS simply does not know."
One study said there could be as many as 72,000 incidents which "contributed to the deaths of patients".
The NAO also said that a survey of NHS trusts found there were 974,000 "reported incidents and near misses" in 2004-5. The most common involved patients falling over, staff giving the wrong medication, equipment breaking, staff getting records wrong and "communication failure".
But those figures did not include around 300,000 hospital-acquired infections, of which about 30 per cent were preventable, the NAO said.

No wonder the NHS keeps nannying us about the "dangers" of passive smoking, failing to tie our shoe laces and french kissing our poultry, killing us is their job, they don't want anything else coming in stealing their work.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:38 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 2, 2005

And they got a grant for this?

Telegraph | News | Attractive women are more than just a pretty face

....researchers at the University of St Andrews have shown for the first time that women with higher levels of oestrogen do indeed have more attractive faces.
The study, published today in the Proceedings of the Royal Society: Biological Sciences is the first to demonstrate that women's facial appearance is linked to their well-being because oestrogen impacts on women's reproductive health and fertility.
"People have speculated for years that women with more attractive and healthy looking faces have higher oestrogen," said Miriam Law Smith.
Hormones exert most effect on the face during puberty, she said. The principal male sex hormone testosterone causes the jaw and eyebrow ridges to become more prominent and facial hair to grow, making boys' faces grow more than girls'.
The female sex hormone oestrogen prevents the growth of facial bone, reduces the size of the nose and chin, and leads to large eyes, increased thickness of lips and fat deposition in the cheek area, along with hips and buttocks, features that announce that a woman is fertile.

And in my day we just studied Fruit Flies in Biology at College - damn I was born too late.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:52 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 30, 2005

What are they on?

BBC NEWS | Politics | Public transport 'drink ban plan'

The plan to ban drinking on public transport is reportedly on a list of 40 proposals aimed at tackling anti-social behaviour and binge drinking.
The list is also said to include the introduction of respect "sheriffs" in each community

Drunks on trains are drunks who got on drunk - very hard to get drunk on the £3 a can warm lager you can only buy after enduring a Muscovian queue to be served by Stalin's Auntie..

But I like the idea of Respect Sheriffs, I think I'll apply; the black hat, the well worn oil-cloth Duster coat and the .357, yep I could wander down the road demanding respect.....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:04 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 29, 2005

Don't forget tonight.

Fall forward, spring back! It is all for the Scottish schoolkids so you know it makes sense!

Posted by The Englishman at 7:12 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

October 28, 2005

An MA writes

Telegraph | News | A degree counts for less on job market

Four years after graduating, nearly a third of "the class of 99" were either in "non-graduate" jobs or jobs that were not appropriate for someone with their qualifications.
There was also clear evidence that the "graduate earnings premium" - a measure of the financial advantage of having a degree - had begun to fall.
The study found that those most likely to be employed in non-graduate jobs had gone to the "new" universities that have been at the forefront of the Government's drive to "widen access".
These graduates were 37 per cent more likely to be employed as clerical and shop assistants, bar managers and in call centres than graduates of the old universities.

Now there is a surprise! Something must be done! Employers have worked out that Mickey Mouse degrees from Polytechnics New Universities just show that the kid chose to laze about for an extra few years rather than work. I'm proud that the son and heir had one thing he wanted to do on his seventeenth birthday, which was a Sunday. He wanted to drive himself to work. And he did. That attitude counts for more than a desire to do Media Studies in my book.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:47 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 27, 2005

The Health Police Cometh

Scotsman.com News - Top Stories - Health police to urge couch potato Scots to visit GP

Central to the report is the idea of "anticipatory care", or searching out the nation's couch potatoes before they end up in hospital. Health boards will be asked to identify "at risk" members of the community and ensure they attend a clinic if they have not done so. This is likely to be through sending out "health police" to identify those at risk.

A step beyond the Nanny state! And what if you prefer to take the risk of staying at home eating deep fried Mars Bars rather than risk the horrors of an NHS clinic, will they arrest you? drag you there in chains? The fanatics won't give up until everyone is pale and weedy like them.

Posted by The Englishman at 4:32 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 26, 2005

Art in Wales

Britain, UK news from The Times and The Sunday Times - Times Online

A JAPANESE artist has been paid £5,000 of taxpayers' money to attempt to drink 48 cans of beer and then fall off a wooden beam.
The "performance", which took place at the Chapter arts centre in Cardiff, has outraged members of the local council and caused bafflement among the public, many of whom do exactly that without getting paid every Friday and Saturday night.

An arts centre spokesman said:"This wasn't just about a woman drinking a lot of beer, this was a powerful piece of art." Tomoko Takahashi, 39, who performs under the name Anti-Cool, was once nominated for the Turner Prize for her installations of rubbish. She says that her performance "comments on the availability and use of mass-produced products". The 50 people who turned up to watch the three-hour show, saw Miss Takahashi dressed in a smart black business suit and high heels, drinking beer from a bag suspended from the ceiling. She then tried repeatedly to walk across a narrow beam two feet above the floor. She failed to finish the 48 cans.

Where do I apply for a grant? - I'm still bruised from going out drinking with Mr FM and Mr NBC and falling off my high heels into a farmyard puddle - that was worth £5000 in anyones money.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:27 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 19, 2005

Plenty in the trough

Telegraph | Money | Retirement age pact 'is a feeble climbdown'

None of the 5m members of public sector schemes will be required to work beyond their current average retirement age of 60 because the new pension age of 65 will only apply to those who start work in future.
Some of those already on the public payroll will continue to enjoy retirement ages below 50, with tens of thousands going even earlier due to "bad backs or stress". More than two thirds of members of some public sector schemes retire early due to ill health, according to the Pensions Policy Institute.
Since The Daily Telegraph revealed in February that taxpayers will have to pay nearly £700 billion - or double the national debt - to provide pensions already promised to those on the public payroll, the Government has been under intense pressure to reach a compromise...

Sir Digby Jones, director-general of the CBI, said: "This is a bad deal for the taxpayer. The Government has capitulated to the threat of public sector strikes and conceded that 21-year-old civil servants can retire aged 60 in 2044. Lucky them, at a time when private sector employees face longer working lives.

"Before the election, the Government pledged to tackle public sector pension reform as a matter of priority - now it appears to be pushing it into the long grass under pressure from the unions. Who is running Britain - the Government or the unions?"

Actuaries - the mathematicians who advise pension funds - were scathing about the deal. Stewart Ritchie of the insurance giant Aegon said: "It is not sustainable in the long term to expect taxpayers to fund more generous pensions for public sector employees than they can possibly acquire themselves.

"Although there has been some tightening, the degree to which public sector workers have been able to take ill health early retirement has also been a scandal."

Similarly, Stephen Yeo of Watson Wyatt said: "You can perhaps understand why two thirds of firefighters need to retire early but it is less obvious why ill-health caused four in 10 local government scheme members to retire early. It will be many years before the agreement reached today reduces costs borne by taxpayers."

Compromise? - about as much of a compromise as my dog rolling over in return for a biscuit? Writing cheques for our children to honour was of course going to be the easy option, so that is why they took it. Of course you could sack them all and re-employ them on the new contract, or even not re-employ them at all....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:55 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

They don't like it up'em, Sir.

Telegraph | News | Army gets £30m new firepower to take on al-Qa'eda and the Taliban

In the past two years, the Army has bought 4,000 Minimi light machineguns, 9,000 night sights and 2,000 underslung grenade launchers in a £30 million programme, with £35 million available for further purchases.

Before the war in Iraq in 2003, the average British infantry section had a feeble amount of firepower available.

While the much derided original SA80 rifle failed in numerous operations, its successor the SA80 A2 was now "the best weapon in the world" after 24 modifications were made in a £90 million overhaul four years ago.

"As a section commander I now know that I can stop the enemy and in close combat kill them because my weapons will work in all terrains," Sgt Poulter said.

The troops were now "more than happy" with what they had got although some grumbled about the loss of capability for using the bayonet.

Good news that at last they seem to be equipping them with some of the tools they need, but no bayonet? Doesn't seem right, I'll keep mine shiny and ready for my Lee Metford.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:39 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 17, 2005

Not for the Bunny Huggers

Bunny suicides

Posted by The Englishman at 7:25 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Cheap Food

Telegraph | News | Earl's heir protests at 'killer' supermarkets

The stepson of the musician Jools Holland is being prosecuted for breaching planning laws by covering the front of his inherited house with a giant banner decrying supermarkets.

Fred Lambton, the 20-year-old grandson of the former Tory minister Lord Lambton, put a banner measuring 20ft by 17ft across his three-storey Grade II listed town house in King's Road, Chelsea.

Mr Lambton, whose grandfather was a minister in Edward Heath's government until he resigned in 1973 over a sex scandal, describes himself as a full-time environmental campaigner.
He is using the banner, which reads "Boycott supermarkets. They're killing Britain", to publicise his website, ethicalnetwork.org.
Mr Lambton, the heir to the Earldom of Durham, said: "I have been learning more and more about supermarkets since I left school. They treat farmers like dirt and put independent shops out of business.

Interestingly in these celeb worshipping days that to The Telegraph being the step son of a popular musician is higher in importance than being the Heir to an Earldom..

Putting my farming hat on it is nice to know he worries about us horny handed sons of the soil and the sometimes rotten deal we get from the near monopolistic buyers of the supermarkets. But I suggest in the bigger scheme of things providing good cheap food to the millions means for the country as a whole they are doing more good than a wealthy young environmental campaigner, my guess is that if you have inherited a listed town house on the King's Road then you don't have to pick through the Value range to afford the weekly shop.
There are a lot of good reasons to "shop locally" but the initiative shouldn't be hijacked to just mean buy expensive "craft" foods directly from small organic producers.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:12 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 15, 2005

Things I don't understand - Part One of Many

Today the modern version of Biro's pen, under the brand name BiC Cristal, sells 20 million pens throughout the world every day.

OK, I know how many things are made including how you forge chain links, I know how you brick up a well from the top down, how you get ships into bottles - but how do you make ball bearings? I understand how shot towers worked; I also know how specialist Ball Bearing factories were hugely valuable during the War when Germany relied on Swedish production. But how do you make millions of them every day to high standards of accuracy? Cast them and then grind them a bit? Please tell me - I have been trying to find out for years.

Posted by The Englishman at 12:59 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

The Economics of Petroleum Jelly

20 g 99p (branded Vaseline Lip Balm)
100g £1.00 (branded Vaseline Pure Petroleum Jelly)
500g £2.84 (Non branded White Petroleum Jelly BP)
1 kg £5.68 (Non branded White Petroleum Jelly BP)

I bought the 500g as that seemed sufficient for the weekend. Pip pip.

Posted by The Englishman at 12:32 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

October 12, 2005

Spare the rod

BBC NEWS | UK | Youth prisons 'anarchy' warning

Young offenders' institutions in England and Wales are "out of control", prison officers have warned.
National vice-chairman of the Prison Officers Association (POA) Steve Gough says the institutions are in danger of "descending into anarchy".
He has written to the director general of the Prison Service demanding an end to the "liberal regime".
The Prison Service said it "utterly refuted" the charge that any of the institutions were out of control.

I thought I heard that on the radio, but then the story disappeared from view - imagine the use of the word Liberal as meaning a bad thing, and on the BBC as well!

Posted by The Englishman at 10:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 11, 2005

One for The Worstall

BBC NEWS | Business | Game theorists share Nobel prize

US citizen Thomas Schelling and Israeli Robert Aumann have won the 2005 Nobel prize in economics for their work in an area known as game theory.
They will share a 10m kronor ($1.3m; £723,000) cash prize awarded by the Swedish central bank.

Ah, but how will they share it? Just dividing it in two would be too boring for these specialists in strategies of conflict and the theoretical underpinnings of bargaining, co-operation and conflict wouldn't it?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:13 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 10, 2005

Popular Science

The Times Online has an excellent column by Anjana Ahuja in which she covers Popular Science Stories - always a good read:

This week :

YOU DON’T have to be mad to be a parent, but it helps. In fact, according to a psychiatrist at Yale University, there are spectacular similarities between the thought processes of first-time parents and sufferers of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

Yup seen that....

Acquiring a dog can lose you more weight in a year than most diet plans.

How else do you explain my Racing Snake physique?

The brains of pathological liars are structurally different from the brains of honest folk, and show more wiring. Deceit takes more mental effort than telling the truth, suggest the researchers at the University of Southern California, and this is borne out by the observation that the liars had about a quarter more white matter in their prefrontal lobes than honest people. The increased wiring imparts the enhanced cognitive and linguistic skills required to pull off a convincing con.
The liars also had less grey matter than the others — this is the stuff that whirrs into action when people are asked to make moral decisions.

Oh for an MRI scan of our Tony.....

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October 6, 2005

Little Darlings

Independent Online Edition > News : app5

But when G P Taylor, a former vicar turned publishing phenomenon with his fantasy novel Shadowmancer, addressed 120 pupils at a Cornish secondary school, staff took a different view of his use of the English language.
The talk by the children's author was abruptly ended and his audience of 12-year-olds ordered to return to their classrooms after he used what the school termed "inappropriate language". His crime was to have used words such as "bum", "fart", "bogey" and "crap", as well as comparing Harry Potter to a gay character in the television comedy show Little Britain.
He said: "I have done this talk in many schools and I have been invited back many times. If the words 'fart' and 'bogey' are unacceptable, that's sad.
"I heard these kids speaking in the school and outside, and they were using language far worse than the language I used. I didn't set out to offend. I'm a priest - I'm very careful about not offending people.
"I think it is down to a growing climate of political correctness. It is curbing freedom of speech...."
He described television as "crap" compared to books and used "bogey" while discussing Fungus the Bogeyman, the classic illustrated book by Raymond Briggs.Taylor denied making any homophobic remarks, saying the teachers had misunderstood. He said: "All I said was that my villains are scarier than those in Harry Potter - and they are. I call Lord Voldemort Lord Vulgarwart and said that Harry Potter was not 'the only gay in the village'. It was a joke; a joke from Little Britain that the children would know."

Obviously they live a sheltered life in Cornwall but it sounds like he gives a racy, robust talk, but not inappropriate for 11-12 year olds, for goodness sake. The sort of talk that might actually make kids want to read books and be seen reading books because they are cool. And the headmistress seems to have given a real lesson in rudeness to a guest - if she was being offended a note passed across or asking him to pop outside for an urgent phone call to have a little word would have been appropriate.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:27 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Local Gene Pool

BBC NEWS | England | Wiltshire | Warning over live wire rope swing

An electricity company is warning children to stay away from its cables after workers found a rope swing attached to live wires.
Youngsters in Chisledon, near Swindon, had hung a nylon rope across lines carrying 33,000 volts of power to form a makeshift swing, the company said.

Ah Swindon! They bain't be proper Wiltshire zknow, but some of them youngsters ain't got the sense of a Pewsey Fool.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:57 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 5, 2005

Stormy Weather

BBC NEWS | UK | Met Office seeks simple forecasts

Television weather forecasters may soon use simpler terms for their predictions, the Met Office has said.
The move follows an internal review in which Met Office staff gave their views on how best to portray the weather.
Suggestions include using "patchy rain" rather than "showery outbreaks", and "warm for most", rather than "chilly in isolated areas".
The Met Office - which trains BBC forecasters - said the idea was to make forecasts "clearer and more relevant".

Oh Dear - "More relevant" if you see that phrase you know it is bad news. There is a place for simple forecasts, but there is also a place for serious forecasts that treat the viewer as an adult with some knowledge - I think though that place is the Internet not the TV. Rarely do I get real information from the TV anymore, just some froth and filler to the stories.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:11 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

October 1, 2005

Fighting talk

"Water, rations and ammo almost depleted and troops becoming exhausted. Enemy on high ground dominate this position from both sides of the road and at dawn position will become untenable. I intend to attack." A message from Captain PK Parbury of the Australian 2/3rd Battalion. Parbury’s diminished company was astride the Beirut-Damascus road in Syria 1941.

Slouch Hat and Eggshell - The Campaign in Syria 1941

Posted by The Englishman at 12:44 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 30, 2005

Christmas is saved!

BBC NEWS | World | Europe | Air force payout cures Santa woes

You know Dasher and Dancer
And Prancer and Vixen,
Comet and Cupid
And Donner and Blitzen.
But do you recall
The most famous reindeer of all?
....

The Danish air force has admitted causing the death of Rudolph the reindeer and has paid compensation to Father Christmas.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:04 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 29, 2005

Good on yer, mate!

Telegraph | News | Roo-hunting law student takes a shot at gay groups

An Australian university has appointed a kangaroo-hunting, beer-drinking student as "heterosexuality officer", charged with defending the rights of straight scholars.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:27 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

September 28, 2005

Japanese shaving brushes - Banned!

Sending parcels to Ireland with Parcelforce.com

Prohibitions
Apart from the general prohibitions, the following are also prohibited: Japanese shaving brushes; items falsely bearing the markings of a Government Department; items which infringe authors' rights; goods made in prison; unseasoned celluloid; stamps and stamp impressions.

Japanese shaving brushes? It took a while but I eventually found out why - and in case you are wondering as well...

Ministry of Labour and National Service Committee of Inquiry on Anthrax: report 1959

Abstract:The Committee of Inquiry on Anthrax considered the existing law with regard to the importation of goods infected or likely to be infected with anthrax and the precautions that should be taken in connection with such imported goods for the protection of public health, and made recommendations..
The report is divided into twelve chapters: (i) the disease; (ii) anthrax due to wool and hair; (iii) anthrax due to horsehair, bristles, hog and cow hair, etc.; (iv) anthrax due to hides and skins; (v) anthrax due to bones and bone meal; (vi) anthrax contracted from the use of Japanese shaving brushes; (vii) anthrax contracted by workers in docks, wharves and warehouses; (viii) arrangements for early diagnosis and treatment of suspected cases of anthrax; (ix) precautions of general application in all factories where anthrax-bearing materials are handled; (x) cases of anthrax outside the scope of the Factories Acts; and (xi) developments which may be relevant to the problem of anthrax in the future.

Posted by The Englishman at 1:16 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 27, 2005

Slappers

BBC NEWS | UK | Drunk young women 'taking risks'
...a third (of young women) had been sexually assaulted while drunk and 34% had had unprotected sex after drinking
Only 2% of men questioned said they had been sexually assaulted after drinking too much.
As well as being more likely to be assaulted, the study also suggests women are more likely than men to become aggressive.
They are getting into more fights, more arguments and are being arrested or cautioned by the police more than young men
More than half the women questioned had got into an argument while drunk, compared with 45% of men.
And 27% of women admitted to having been arrested or cautioned by police while drunk, compared with 16% of men.
Just under a fifth - 19% - of female interviewees had been injured through an accident after getting drunk, compared with 14% of men.
The findings of the survey have been published by the Portman Group to coincide with the launch of its "drinks diary" scheme.
The scheme encourages people to log their alcohol consumption.
The free drinks diary is available at www.drinkaware.co.uk.
About time us men were protected from these ruffians - it always has been a well known fact that if no women are about blokes can drink peacefully all night, as soon as the dangerous mixture of well lubricated ladies and youth is added then trouble occurs. Can we ask for the return of proper four ale bars where the only sound is the click of Dominoes and a muted oath as the cribbage game is lost, and the only woman is Betty, the Landlord's wife, bringing in a new jar of Pickled Eggs to go in the Crisp packets? Reclaim the night I say!

I will download the diary for Mr FM as he seems to be on a health kick these days - getting worryingly thin as well, many years in the Orient can do that to a man....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:06 AM | Comments (21) | TrackBack

September 22, 2005

For your information

Nation of Riflemen Forum

We're back, and madder than ever.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:38 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 20, 2005

Speed Cameras

BBC Inside Out - Mobile speed cameras

Mobile speed cameras are increasingly being used by the police to enforce speed limits, but how accurate are they?

I missed the program but the full write up on the web looks interesting, showing how a small wobble can make a wall be clocked at 58MPH. The MD of the company that makes them blusters that errors are impossible - I'm more impressed by someone who "has spent twenty years being a professor of industrial instrumentation (possibly the only professor of industrial instrumentation)" - and his verdict?

The only reasonable conclusion you could come to in view of all these caveats is that thousands of motorists have been wrongly convicted, some of them losing their livelihood as a result.
This is one of those cases in which it is difficult to understand why the fundamental design decision was made. Laser Doppler velocimetry has been successfully applied to the measurement of speeds of everything from blood corpuscles to rolled steel. Why throw it aside for a mechanism with such obvious contradictions?

it wouldn't be because it increases the conviction rate, would it?

Posted by The Englishman at 6:50 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 19, 2005

Perks of the Job

Telegraph | News | Cocaine and sex claims pile pressure on Kate.
..reports that the model .. enjoyed lesbian orgies and took cocaine while attending a function with Nelson Mandela.

The dirty old man! Must beat listening to another speech as to how you are the saviour of the world. Almost make me wish I went to more of these Inter-Governmental functions.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:15 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

September 14, 2005

Modern Manners

AtomFilms - Consent Ah, the perils of dating in America...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 12, 2005

Wanadoo - Wannadon't -calling Rob Connell

I have mentioned before Wanadoo's amazing customer service. Brief recap, they sent me a bill for £10.49 for a service they supplied to a company I worked for - I thought a quick friendly call would allow them to send it to the right person. Nope, waste of time - put it in writing and no, we don't do email! The demand for payment was signed by Rob Connell - Managing Director. So I wrote to them saying, please forward this invoice to ... and who is Rob Connell - as he isn't listed at Companies House and is Google invisible. Got a letter back confirming that Rob Connell is "one of their Managing Directors". and sorry we are unable to forward invoices, please pay the £10 owing!
I tried ringing the customer care specialist who signed the letter - and was told - she works in the other building and they don't have phones, and of course no email address either! (Remember that Wanadoo is "one of Europe's leading Internet and directories companies")
So I called Julian at the Press Office 020 7553 7566 and he explained that Wanadoo does have more than one Managing Director, one for each division, but that he couldn't find a Rob Connell on any list and had never heard of him.
I'm starting to believe Rob Connell doesn't exist and so I'm going to ignore his demand for payment. Sounds reasonable to me!

Posted by The Englishman at 3:54 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

September 9, 2005

A must have for a Land Rover Driver

Computerizing your old Land Rover

Posted by The Englishman at 9:05 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

September 8, 2005

Cuffed

In 1780, Mr. Hiat (with one 't') formed his business manufacturing "Prisoners' Handcuffs to the Trade". ..Hiatt's range is the most comprehensive of any handcuff manufacturer in the world today. ..Hiatt's offers a range of expandable friction - lock batons, made from a ZYTEL polycarbonate composite material or steel. The traditional range of wooden British - style truncheons is also available.

Ah - A proud traditional British Manufacturing company, winning in the export market, something we can all be proud of can't we? Seems not.

BBC NEWS | UK | Activists target handcuffs firm
Campaigners are targeting a Birmingham firm that they say makes "shackles" used at the Guantanamo Bay camp.

Now there are some places that targeting a firm that makes truncheons wouldn't be such a good idea....

Posted by The Englishman at 1:29 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

September 7, 2005

Spiced Ham

Number Watch reminds me of SourceWatch an encyclopedia of people, issues and groups shaping the public agenda. It is a project of the Center for Media & Democracy; email bob AT sourcewatch.org

Antispam note: To avoid attracting spam email robots, email addresses on the SourceWatch are written with AT in place of the usual symbol, and we have removed "mail to" links. Replace AT with the correct symbol to get a valid address. We regret the inconvenience this entails. Lobby your government for more effective antispam regulations.

Ah - I think that petulant cry for "help" and interference from the Government tells me all I need to know about the site...

Posted by The Englishman at 2:15 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 6, 2005

Licenced to carry

Nice knife! Of course you wouldn't expect to be able to carry it around the streets of Britain, or if you had it concealed under your clothes you wouldn't think it was unfair to be asked to not carry it into a school or airport, would you? But part a section of society does exactly that. The Sikh's; some of the finest soldiers and warriors that ever have lived under the Union Flag. Showing my ignorance I was interested to learn today that Sikhs carry such knives at all times, some not as sharp or as pretty, but knives all the same. I would add that Sikhs are anxious that this practice is explained openly so that society can understand. A helpful website is:

Understanding the Kirpan for non-Sikhs by Sandeep Singh Brar

The Kirpan (ceremonial sword) worn by followers of the Sikh religion sometimes raises questions or concerns among people who are unfamiliar with the religion or it's tenants. The Kirpan is an ingrained part of the Sikh religion and is in many ways its religious symbolism is similar to the Cross in Christianity. Just as a Cross is worn be devout Christians, baptized Sikhs are required to wear the Kirpan. ...
It was Guru Gobind Singh, the final living Sikh prophet who formally instituted the mandatory requirement for all baptized Sikhs to wear the Kirpan at all times.....
The Reht Maryada does not specify the length of the Kirpan or how it is to be worn by the devotee. Kirpans can be anywhere from 3 foot swords carried by Sikhs on religious festivals, marriages and parades, to a few inches in length. They can either be worn over ones clothing or under the clothing. ....

Posted by The Englishman at 8:20 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Why I will recommend a BMW as Mr FM's next car...

BMW 5 Series Special Task Vehicle

The firearm bracket in the rear centre armrest provides space for an MP 5 and three magazines. The bracket is electromagnetically locked and is opened from the front seats using a switch. The firearm moves forward automatically, therefore easy for the driver and passenger to reach.

Hattip to Mr NBC

Posted by The Englishman at 5:10 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

September 2, 2005

BSE - I blame the French.

Telegraph | News | Human remains in cattle feed may have caused mad cow epidemic

The mad cow disease epidemic could have been caused by the feeding of material containing human remains to cattle, a scientist claimed yesterday.

Sometime ago, and I have looked and failed to find the reference, I cam across an account of a firm of Yorkshire Renderers who were producing Bone Meal in 18th and 19th Century. Their speciality was touring round Europe and clearing up Battlefields.
So on the morning after Waterloo and the local Mayor is looking out across a bloody field piled high with dead horses and soldiers a little man with a bowler hat on would turn up, whistle through his lips and say " Aye, nasty mess that Sir, wants some proper clearing before it gets too rank. Happen I know a champion bunch of lads who would do that for you. Nasty job, cost a bit but I could probably do you a deal..."
Of course the victors, the British would gather their own dead, and the women would search the French corpses but would they have buried them all? I think one or two would have got scooped up with the horses in to the Renderer's waggon. And that is how the Blood and Bone Meal that was feed to cattle as far back as then got infected.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:06 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

September 1, 2005

How Ya' Gonna' Keep 'Em Down on the Farm?

Telegraph | Motoring | Transport priorities? It's the autonomy, stupid.......

Bizarrely, the Royal Academy's own report, Transport 2050, contains less mechanical engineering than social engineering. Though it acknowledges the need for more infrastructure investment and technical innovation, the cornerstone of its vision is "True Cost Charging" of travellers -pricing that reflects "the real costs of journeys to themselves and to society". In effect, this means using the market to change our behaviour by adding the cost of pollution, congestion and accidents directly onto the cost of travel.

"Restraining demand" for transport is only part of the RAEng's strategy, alongside "maximising use of existing capacity" and "the creation of new capacity through infrastructure and technology", but it's a surprising policy suggestion from industry's traditional problem-solvers.

Although increased opportunities for travel are credited with improving "wealth creation and quality of life", the report then rapidly shifts focus onto the adverse effects on health and the environment, and the explicit suggestion that the future of British transport should involve shorter journeys and more walking and cycling. Never mind bio-fuels and hydrogen, the fuel of the future may well be a substantial breakfast.

Today's engineers certainly seem reluctant to take credit for the social and economic advances made possible by improved transport systems, both a catalyst and consequence of the industrial revolution, and they are unwilling to look forward boldly to a future in which engineering will contribute to even more freedom of movement.

When Telegraph Motoring contributor Austin Williams warned a few years ago that transport policymakers were effectively proposing that people (especially the poor) should be geographically constrained in a manner not a million miles from the feudalism of the Middle Ages, some thought he was being alarmist. Has such a short-sighted and pessimistic vision now become the accepted wisdom?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:06 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 31, 2005

Section 93(4) Taxes Management act 1970

Whoops my Tax returns are late - well in fact they were sent in on time and they have been lost so Gordon's Lackeys are getting their knickers in a twist: So I have received a couple of "Notices of Determination of Penalty for a late Tax Return". £100, Kerching!.
So whilst I leave my accountant to argue as to whether I owe the money it seems like a good time to wheel out the Neil Herron defence:

Dear [name],

Please find enclosed a copy of Notice of Determination of Penalty for a late Tax Return which I received on today. It was issued by "The Officer in Charge" and is attempting to impose a 'Penalty Charge' of £100

Upon checking the legislation, I was surprised to find that HM Revenue & Customs, appear to be attempting to extort money from me in an unlawful manner. Please find enclosed an extract of the Bill of Rights Act 1689, enacted and formally entered into Statute following the Declaration of Rights 1689. I draw your attention to the section that I have highlighted:

"That all grants and promises of fines and forfeitures of particular persons before conviction are illegal and void".

This states that a conviction is necessary before a fine or forfeit can be imposed. As you will be aware, the Bill of Rights is a "constitutional statue" and may not be repealed impliedly. As stated in the "Metric Martyrs" Judgment in the Divisional Court (18th February 2002) by Lord Justice Laws and Mr Justice Crane (I will paraphrase, but have included a copy of the judgment's relevant sections 62 and 63):

62."We should recognise a hierarchy of Acts of Parliament: as it were 'ordinary' statutes and 'constitutional statutes.' The special status of constitutional statutes follows the special status of constitutional rights. Examples are the ... Bill of Rights 1689 ... 63. Ordinary statutes may be impliedly repealed. Constitutional statutes may not…"

I am not aware that the Taxes Management act 1970 makes express reference to repealing the Bill of Rights Act 1689.

Therefore, it would appear that HM Revenue & Customs and its agents have no lawful authority to demand money for an alleged infringement that has not been dealt with by a Court of Law. If you wish to proceed against me, please refer the matter to a Court of Law in an orderly fashion. Otherwise, the forfeit demanded of me is illegal and void.

Please also confirm to me in writing that you have advised the relevant officers of the HM Revenue & Customs that they are acting illegally by attempting to claim powers which are forbidden to them, and that all issuing of penalties is being done only after conviction by a Court of Law.

Yours sincerely, etc

ENCLOSURES
1. Photocopy of Late Tax Return: Penalty Noitice
2. Extract of the Bill of Rights Act 1689
3. Extract of Metric Martyrs Judgment, sections 62 and 63.

BILL OF RIGHTS ACT [1689]

An Act Declaring the Rights and Liberties of the Subject and Settling the Succession of the Crown

[Extract]

And thereupon the said Lords Spiritual and Temporal and Commons, pursuant to their respective letters and elections, being now assembled in a full and free representative of this nation, taking into their most serious consideration the best means for attaining the ends aforesaid, do in the first place (as their ancestors in like case have usually done) for the vindicating and asserting their ancient rights and liberties declare:

That the pretended power of suspending the laws or the execution of laws by regal authority without consent of Parliament is illegal;
That the pretended power of dispensing with laws or the execution of laws by regal authority, as it hath been assumed and exercised of late, is illegal;
That the commission for erecting the late Court of Commissioners for Ecclesiastical Causes, and all other commissions and courts of like nature, are illegal and pernicious;
That levying money for or to the use of the Crown by pretence of prerogative, without grant of Parliament, for longer time, or in other manner than the same is or shall be granted, is illegal;
That it is the right of the subjects to petition the king, and all commitments and prosecutions for such petitioning are illegal;
That the raising or keeping a standing army within the kingdom in time of peace, unless it be with consent of Parliament, is against law;
That the subjects which are Protestants may have arms for their defence suitable to their conditions and as allowed by law;
That election of members of Parliament ought to be free;
That the freedom of speech and debates or proceedings in Parliament ought not to be impeached or questioned in any court or place out of Parliament;
That excessive bail ought not to be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted;
That jurors ought to be duly impanelled and returned, and jurors which pass upon men in trials for high treason ought to be freeholders;
That all grants and promises of fines and forfeitures of particular persons before conviction are illegal and void;
And that for redress of all grievances, and for the amending, strengthening and preserving of the laws, Parliaments ought to be held frequently.

Thoburn v Sunderland City Council [2002] EWHC 195 (Admin), [2003] QB 151 ("Metric Martyrs" ruling) 18 Feb 2002 [Extract]

62 Where does this leave the constitutional position which I have stated? Mr Shrimpton would say that Factortame (No 1) was wrongly decided; and since the point was not argued, there is scope, within the limits of our law of precedent, to depart from it and to hold that implied repeal may bite on the ECA as readily as upon any other statute. I think that would be a wrong turning. My reasons are these. In the present state of its maturity the common law has come to recognise that there exist rights which should properly be classified as constitutional or fundamental: see for example such cases as Simms [2000] 2 AC 115 per Lord Hoffmann at 131, Pierson v Secretary of State [1998] AC 539, Leech [1994] QB 198, Derbyshire County Council v Times Newspapers Ltd. [1993] AC 534, and Witham [1998] QB 575. And from this a further insight follows. We should recognise a hierarchy of Acts of Parliament: as it were "ordinary" statutes and "constitutional" statutes. The two categories must be distinguished on a principled basis. In my opinion a constitutional statute is one which (a) conditions the legal relationship between citizen and State in some general, overarching manner, or (b) enlarges or diminishes the scope of what we would now regard as fundamental constitutional rights. (a) and (b) are of necessity closely related: it is difficult to think of an instance of (a) that is not also an instance of (b). The special status of constitutional statutes follows the special status of constitutional rights. Examples are the Magna Carta, the Bill of Rights 1689, the Act of Union, the Reform Acts which distributed and enlarged the franchise, the HRA, the Scotland Act 1998 and the Government of Wales Act 1998. The ECA clearly belongs in this family. It incorporated the whole corpus of substantive Community rights and obligations, and gave overriding domestic effect to the judicial and administrative machinery of Community law. It may be there has never been a statute having such profound effects on so many dimensions of our daily lives. The ECA is, by force of the common law, a constitutional statute.

63 Ordinary statutes may be impliedly repealed. Constitutional statutes may not. For the repeal of a constitutional Act or the abrogation of a fundamental right to be effected by statute, the court would apply this test: is it shown that the legislature's actual – not imputed, constructive or presumed – intention was to effect the repeal or abrogation? I think the test could only be met by express words in the later statute, or by words so specific that the inference of an actual determination to effect the result contended for was irresistible. The ordinary rule of implied repeal does not satisfy this test. Accordingly, it has no application to constitutional statutes. I should add that in my judgment general words could not be supplemented, so as to effect a repeal or significant amendment to a constitutional statute, by reference to what was said in Parliament by the minister promoting the Bill pursuant to Pepper v Hart [1993] AC 593. A constitutional statute can only be repealed, or amended in a way which significantly affects its provisions touching fundamental rights or otherwise the relation between citizen and State, by unambiguous words on the face of the later statute. 64 This development of the common law regarding constitutional rights, and as I would say constitutional statutes, is highly beneficial. It gives us most of the benefits of a written constitution, in which fundamental rights are accorded special respect. But it preserves the sovereignty of the legislature and the flexibility of our uncodified constitution. It accepts the relation between legislative supremacy and fundamental rights is not fixed or brittle: rather the courts (in interpreting statutes, and now, applying the HRA) will pay more or less deference to the legislature, or other public decision-maker, according to the subject in hand. Nothing is plainer than that this benign development involves, as I have said, the recognition of the ECA as a constitutional statute.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:13 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 26, 2005

Quack quack

BBC NEWS | Health | Medics attack use of homeopathy

A leading medical journal has made a damning attack on homeopathy, saying it is no better than dummy drugs.
The Lancet says the time for more studies is over and doctors should be bold and honest with patients about homeopathy's "lack of benefit".
A Swiss-UK review of 110 trials found no convincing evidence the treatment worked any better than a placebo.

What works is having someone caring sit down and listen to you - they give you a little pill at the end so it seems like medicine when it is really therapy. I suppose, unlike many Doctors and Hospitals, it is unlikely to harm you. However, to be blunt, homoeopathy is bunk. What gets on my tits is the attitude of the Snake Oils Salesmen:

A spokeswoman from the Society of Homeopaths said: "It has been established beyond doubt and accepted by many researchers, that the placebo-controlled randomised controlled trial is not a fitting research tool with which to test homeopathy."

So it doesn't work under proper trial conditions - what research tool should we use then, Aunty Ethel telling us how it is the only thing to cure her "nerves"?

Posted by The Englishman at 5:53 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

August 25, 2005

Plod stupidity

Kim du Toit - brings us the story -

Martin Pearson, 48, and his 14-year-old son, from Sheffield, were on a fishing trip in Scarborough when they bought a plastic pistol and a rifle from a seafront stall.
But they sparked an alert when a member of the public spotted them with the guns and told police. An armed response unit surrounded the pair before they were handcuffed and put in a van while sniffer dogs searched their car. The pair were arrested and taken to Scarborough police station and held for five-and-a-half hours while their fingerprints, photographs and DNA samples were taken before they were released on bail at 4.30am.

The follow up is even more worrying:

News - Sheffield Today: News, Sport, Jobs, Property, Cars, Entertainments & More

A spokesman for North Yorkshire Police said the pair were spotted by a concerned member of the public.
"Even police firearms experts, who are highly trained, close up cannot tell the difference between a BB gun, toy or lethal weapon."

Well that fills me with confidence...

Posted by The Englishman at 8:57 AM | Comments (27) | TrackBack

August 24, 2005

Neil Herron gets lucky

Neil Herron: National Parking Adjudication Service...on the record

Whoops - Neil who is doing heroic work exposing the system, was phoned by one of his targets, who then forgot to turn his mobile phone off as he discussed the case with his boss. Sometimes the good get lucky.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:50 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 23, 2005

Not quite Tom Brown

BBC NEWS | England | Wiltshire | Father sues over son's expulsion

The father of a pupil at an exclusive private school plans to sue over its attempts to expel the boy...his son says that the 400 misdemeanours he is being punished for are all relatively minor.

I always thought Private schools, like a shop, could serve who they liked and ban who they didn't. They are a private business and so it should be up to them how they run it. And if I was paying through the nose I wouldn't want my children to be living alongside another pupil who is stupid enough to be caught 400 times. Of course in my day Old Chalky and his cane would have sorted the boy out..

(I suppose as he has a Welsh name he will be claiming race discrimination - though most people might think that a disinclination to use vowels is reason enough to expel a chap.)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:32 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Slow news day

Telegraph | News | It's official: scientists prove why accountants are boring

Because they are.... still probably not as boring as the research scientists who did this stunning bit of research.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:17 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 18, 2005

PETA update

I have been folowing the great PETA court case through sites such as PETA Kills Animals | PetaKillsAnimals.com. I am sure you have as well - but the figures as astounding - "From July 1998 through the end of 2003, PETA killed over 10,000 dogs, cats, and other "companion animals" -- at its Norfolk, Virginia headquarters. That's more than five defenseless animals every day. Not counting the dogs and cats PETA spayed and neutered, the group put to death over 85 percent of the animals it took in during 2003 alone. And its angel-of-death pattern shows no sign of changing...."

But of course I hadn't realised the reason until I saw this letter:

Regarding the story about PETA euthanizing unwanted animals in North Carolina,
I think most people have no idea how extreme the situation is for unwanted animals in that area. Much of the human population there lacks the essentials, so of course homeless dogs and cats are allotted next to nothing. It seems that PETA's ultimate intention was to try to compensate at the very least for the basics that the county is financially unable to provide — a humane death for those unfortunate dogs and cats that nobody wants.
—Ann Radcliff, Norfolk

Jeez, where do we start sending the food parcels to for those poor folk in North Carolina, and yep the idea of being killed is some sort of compensation for being a poor homeless doggie is understandable to a complete moonbat maybe. What does she suggest we do with the poor people?

Posted by The Englishman at 10:26 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Enriching the (target) Environment

Telegraph | News | 'Rewilding' could mean lions at large in US

Cheetahs, lions and even elephants could roam parts of North America in an extraordinary "rewilding" plan outlined today by ecologists and conservationists.

Now that would make life more interesting, but before the more sporting amongst you go down to Bubbas Donut and Ammo Store to stock up please note the first introduction doesn't sound that challenging a target...

A pilot study will test a mild version of the rewilding plan by considering the release of the endangered Bolson tortoise on a private ranch in New Mexico. The tortoise, which can weigh up to 100lb and once thrived in Arizona and Mexico, now survives only in a small area of northern Mexico.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:10 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 12, 2005

Glorious So-so Twelfth

..heralding a less than Glorious Twelfth. In England, which has about 180 grouse moors, the number of shooting days is down about 80 per cent, according to the Moorland Association, provoking predictions of the worst season in half a century and the loss of about £11.2 million to the upland rural economy, particularly North Yorkshire, the Pennines and Northumberland.

The forecast across Scotland’s 450 grouse moors is more complicated, with some areas in dire straits while others are faring better. There is little doubt that a decade of gradual decline has continued, caused by a combination of disease, from sheep ticks and a gut parasite, warmer winters and wetter springs.

Ian McCall, director of the Game Conservancy Trust in Scotland, said: “It is not universally disappointing. It is not catastrophic and on balance Scotland might be better off than England, which is a rare achievement this year. England usually does better because of the kinder climate and fertile soil. But this year they have fewer grouse because they had too many last year and did not shoot enough, which allowed disease to spread.”
...
One bright aspect is new research showing that heather moorland managed for shooting is a haven for other wildlife and rare upland birds, such as black grouse, golden plovers, curlew and lapwing.

The Times

Posted by The Englishman at 7:19 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

If you are bored this afternoon

May I recommend a gentle little drawing application string spin v.2 .

Posted by The Englishman at 7:12 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 10, 2005

Calling "The Mrs"

BBC NEWS | Health

Red heads can stand more pain.
The link between red hair and a greater pain threshold was first established eight years ago.

Posted by The Englishman at 2:34 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 9, 2005

Another GM scare over..

Telegraph | News | 'Worst GM pollution incident' vanishes

What was billed by the media as the world's worst incident of pollution by genetically-engineered crops, one that provoked a row among scientists, has vanished, says a study published today.

I think "has vanished" is used in the same sense as "But Sir I did do my homework, I put it on your desk, I don't know where it has vanished.." So do you think that is the last we will hear of it from the Mangoes and Greens?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 8, 2005

Local Heroine

BBC NEWS | England | Wiltshire | Made up over speed camera u-turn

When Clair Allison received a court summons for speeding, she was determined not to take it lying down.

The 46-year-old single mother-of-one started a campaign that ended in the overturning of thousands of fines - together with some red faces among speed camera bosses. ...

Armed with the throwaway camera, Ms Allison began taking shots of the roadworks.

Realising that hundreds of other drivers may also have been zapped, she placed petitions in garages and post offices to find fellow defendants.

More than 4,200 people were fined after being caught between October 2003 and August 2004, according to the Wiltshire & Swindon Speed Camera Partnership.

But Ms Allison's solicitor says this figure could be as high as 6,200.

Following a CPS review, they will all now have their fines overturned and their penalty points removed

The case may also have left the safety partnership having to refund at least £250,000 in fines.

The police have said that each case could cost up to £250 to review - and there are court costs and compensation claims to consider.

The camera partnership is, however, sticking to its guns.

Spokeswoman Saira Khan said: "The speeding offences are proven - it is the signage that isn't."

But she admits the organisation needs to enforce speed restrictions properly to keep the public on side, and is working with the Highways Agency on checking regulations.

Sorry - you lost keeping the public "on your side" a long time ago - and saying the "offences are proven" when they clearly aren't - if you don't follow the law it isn't an offence - shows the gob-smacking arrogance of this "partnership".

Posted by The Englishman at 11:45 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

August 7, 2005

Please be upstanding.

Deogolwulf wishs to coin a new word:
overstand, vt. To subordinate sense and reason to faith; not to understand the world, but rather to interpret the world through faith in something higher, greater, ‘more real-worldly’ than the world; to interpret according to faith and not evidence; to believe that something is the case irrespective of evidence; to make facts subordinate to an inscrutable purpose and an ineffable standard.
Science is an attempt to understand the world; religion, an attempt to overstand it.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:10 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

August 4, 2005

The results are in..

Misty asked:
Which of the following conjures up the most disturbing mental imagery for you.
Peter Stringfellow in a thong.
John Prescott in a bikini.
The Queen and Prince Philip testing a Rampant Rabbit.
A fluffy kitten chasing a butterfly.
Tony Bliar dressed as a gimp.
Margaret Thatcher sitting on your face.
George Bush in thigh high boots with a whip.
Saddam Hussein giving you a lapdance.
Stephen Pound frolicking naked.
Coldplay.

I won't give the reults away but I believe a bunch of pretentious tossers in a popular beat combo walked away with it - got my vote anyway...

Posted by The Englishman at 5:23 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

007 shaken

Friends of the Amarone report:

James Bond, the world's most famous secret agent, is to abandon the sleek, fast sports cars of the past for a plucky Fiat Panda with a top speed of just 90 mph.

The Turin automaker has confirmed the startling news that in his next film, Casino Royale, the legendary seducer and undercover agent will be driving one of its budget utility vehicles.

I seem to remember he drove a 2CV once,so I hope this isn't him going all green and eco-friendly - I can see him now unloading the lead shot when he approaches the villain near the water and trying to load a satisfactory alternative so as to satisfy the Environmental Protection (Restriction on Use of Lead Shot)(England) Regulations 1999...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 1, 2005

Pretty in Pink

Ireland Refuses to Extradite Alleged Pedophile to Arizona -- 07/29/2005

One of America's toughest cops is lashing out at the judicial system in Ireland after that country refused to extradite an accused pedophile priest.

Father Patrick Colleary is accused of molesting an altar boy while he was a priest in Scottsdale, Ariz., in 1978. Colleary fled to his native Ireland before he could be indicted on two counts of felony sexual conduct with a minor.

Colleary's lawyers argued that their client should not be extradited because Maricopa County, Ariz., Sheriff Joe Arpaio housed prisoners in conditions more typical of a gulag than a jail.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio believes in keeping prisoners in pink clothes living in tents and making them work in chain gangs to earn their meagre meals. How unEuropean! how much more civilised Ireland is keeping its kiddy-fiddlers happy in the heart of the community, no wonder they won't let the nasty man get his hands on the alleged dodgy priest.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:56 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Cheers

ANSA.it - News in English - Beer beats wine in fighting cancer

Beer would appear to be even better than red wine and green tea in preventing cancer, researchers have discovered.

I only go down the pub for the good of my health - I have always said so; though that pint of JCB I had yesterday is still disagreeing with me...

Thanks to the glamourous girls at http://friendsofamarone.blogspot.com/ for the link - go and say hi to them!

Posted by The Englishman at 1:21 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

July 29, 2005

Have a Iucky day

Four leaf clover I found on my walk

Image taken on 29/7/2005 8:40

Of course I have a little way to go to catch up with the current record holder for having the most four leaf clovers; a Pennsylvania prison inmate, George Kaminski. While serving time on a kidnapping conviction for the past 25 years, Kaminski has gathered 72,927 four-leaf clovers. He just spends all day foraging through the grass of the prison yard in search of the lucky leaves.

Is it me or does he sound as though the luck hasn't worked...

Posted by The Englishman at 8:43 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

July 26, 2005

Boomershoot organiser fired!

Joe Huffman organiser of Boomershoot has been fired from his job - his analysis of why is quite techie but interesting - shows what a clever methodical man he is -
Advocating Freedom Considered Harmful His conclusion is: "termination for being an advocate for gun ownership and freedom."
Over to Kim for his reaction...

Posted by The Englishman at 12:49 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

If you are bored today..

OfficeGuns

Posted by The Englishman at 8:37 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 25, 2005

Religous discrimination?

BBC NEWS | England | Norfolk | Christian loses Sunday work case

A devout Christian who lost his job after refusing to work on Sundays has lost the latest round of his legal fight with his former employer.

Now I don't have a lot of time for "The Keep Sunday Special" crowd - I like shopping and drinking on Sunday, but I recognise that not working on Sunday is important to some Christians. A quick Google fails to find any Jew who has been fairly dismissed for refusing to work on the Sabbath, or Muslim for praying five times a day - it wouldn't just be Christians who have their beliefs belittled, would it?

Posted by The Englishman at 9:01 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 21, 2005

Planners -oh come the glorious day!

BBC NEWS | Scotland | Tall pair fail to raise the roof

Bloke 6' 10" tall, ( note even the BBC doesn't try and use metric in a story like this!), wants to build an extension to his house and wants the roof a bit taller than normal. Planners say no - it isn't in our guidelines. Funny that they demand ramps and handles to disfigure some of our finest buildings but won't allow a tiny alteration on a small house, prefering to hide behind the rule book and preventing someone improving their own house and quality of life. You don't really own your own house remember, the council charge you a yearly tax to live in it and control what you do with it. I tell you yet again that the only use of Planners is ensuring that there enough lampposts; so come the glorious day we have somewhere to string them all up.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:38 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 15, 2005

Food Miles nonsense

Telegraph | News | The environmental cost of the tomato on your plate

It takes less energy to import tomatoes from Spain than to grow them in this country, says a report which claims that "food miles" are not always a bad thing.
...food miles are not always a valid test of environmental friendliness, says the report. They are "too simple a concept" to capture the impact of its transportation.

For example, the report says, it takes less energy to import tomatoes from Spain, where the climate is warmer and no heating is used, than to grow them out of season in gas-heated greenhouses in Britain.

All reasonable stuff, and the Friends of the Earth react in an entirely predictable way ..

"To suggest that locally-sourced food may generate more food miles is ludicrous. (That is not what they are saying - they are saying your stupid "food miles" concept is too simplistic - which is probably why it is all you can understand.)Locally produced food is far better for food miles, but it must be planned and supported by local and national government to find the most efficient methods."
Now that is what the FoE is really about - total State control of the means and and methods of production, to each according to his need.. - hang on wasn't that the old Labour Party Clause Four? I wondered who had picked it up since Tony dropped it. Melons! (Green on the outside and red on the inside.)

And of course you wouldn't have gathered this from the BBC report
BBC NEWS | UK | Food movement 'harms environment' which sticks to the Melon line.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:45 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack