The Castle

An Englishman's Castle


Bashing Bogusmongers from behind the barbed wire.

December 26, 2009

Pulled and devilled turkey - today's receipt

(A repost from 2006 - Grigson always insisted on receipt rather than recipe)

About 1 lb cooked turkey breast
One leg and thigh of the turkey, preferably undercooked and pink.
Instead of the turkey, a boiled or roasted chicken (with the brown meat a little underdone) or a brace of stewed or roasted pheasants can be used.

Devil sauce
1 rounded tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 rounded tablespoon mango or peach chutney
1 tablespoon Worcester sauce, or half a tablespoon anchovy essence
A quarter-tablespoon Cayenne pepper
Salt
2 tablespoons corn oil

Pulled sauce
3 oz butter
6 oz double cream
Lemon juice
Salt, pepper
Chopped parsley

This recipe is from Jane Grigson's 'English Food'. One of the most delicious dishes of eighteenth century cooking, indeed one of the best of all English dishes. There is no better way of using up the Christmas turkey with the glory it deserves.

Continues below.

First pull the breast meat apart with your fingers into pieces about 1.5" long and the 'thickness of a large quill'. Follow the grain of the meat, so that you end up with somewhat thready-looking pieces. Take the brown meat off the bones, and divide it into rather larger pieces than the breast meat. Slash each one two or three times.

Mix the devil sauce ingredients together, chopping up any large pieces of fruit in the chutney. Dip the pieces of brown meat into it, and spoon the devil into the slashes as best you can. Arrange in a single layer on the rack of a foil-lined grill pan, and grill under a high heat until the pieces develop an appetising brown crust. Keep them warm.

For the pulled sauce, melt the butter in a wide frying pan, and stir in the cream. Let it boil for a couple of minutes, and keep stirring so that you end up with a thick rich sauce. Put in the pulled breast, with any odd scraps of jelly, and stir about until the pieces are very hot indeed. Season with lemon, salt and pepper. Put in the centre of a serving dish, and surround it with the devilled bits. Serve with good bread or toast Not a dish to be eaten with two vegetables: keep them for afterwards, or simply serve a salad.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:27 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 10, 2009

Great Blogging Location

The%20Castle.jpg

And it is even better inside with a roaring wood fire...

Posted by The Englishman at 4:35 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 3, 2008

Organic - will it make sense at $200 a barrel?

Organic food to be cheaper than other produce - Telegraph

..a study suggests that the price of oil could soon make cereal crops grown with fertilisers more expensive than those produced more naturally....

With oil predicted to reach $200 a barrel within five to 10 years, the profit margin on organic wheat, barley and oil seed rape would be as much as £411.

This compares with up to £348 for the same crops produced by non-organic methods, according to the study by Andersons, the farm business consultants.

I can't find the report this is based on, but that extract is completely meaningless; profit per what? Organic farming needs more labour, so what is the cost of labour? It needs more cultivations, are the harrows pulled by horses? And are they comparing at the same selling price with no organic premium? I don't know, though you can guess I am sceptical of it all. If you come across a copy of the report please forward it to me.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:17 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 2, 2008

IE7 Blocks Blogs with Sitemeter

The Reference Frame: Fix: IE7 with Sitemeter: Operation aborted

This posting is primarily addressed to those webmasters who experience a similar problem.

If your web page contains a Sitemeter counter, Internet Explorer users eventually see an "Operation aborted" error message. Once they click OK, the whole page disappears and is replaced by a blank page....

I have tried his recommended fix here, if it doesn't work than you won't be able to read this. If you can't read this please tell me...

Posted by The Englishman at 1:00 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

December 25, 2007

It's Christmas cracker time

My wife's gone to the West Indies
-Jamaica?
-No, she went of her own accord.

-My wife's gone to the Indian coast
-Goa?
-Phwoar! I'll say!

-My wife's gone to St Petersburg.
-Is she Russian?
-No, she's taking her time.

-My wife's gone to Northern Italy
-Genoa?
-I should think so, we've been married for 20 years.

-My wife's had an accident on a volcano
-Krakatoa?
-No. She broke her leg.

-My wife's gone mad in Venezuela
-Caracas?
-Yes, absolutely loopy

-My wife's gone to the Welsh border.
-Wye?
-Search me.

-My wife's gone to the botanical gardens.
-Kew?
-Yes, it was rather busy.

-My wife's gone to Malawi
-Lilongwe?
-Yes, about 5000 miles

-My wife's got an upset tummy in Laos
-Inkhazi?
-Yes, constantly.

-My wife's gone to see relatives in France
-Nice?
-No, her Aunt and Uncle actually

-My wife's gone on a singing tour of South Korea
-Seoul?
-No, R&B

-My wife caught a cold in the Gulf
-Qatar?
-Yes, she was coughing up greenies for weeks

-My wife had an accident in Slovenia
-Bled?
-like a stuck pig.

-My wife's parents are from Croatia
-Split?
-No, they're still happily married.

-My wife went to a very bad concert in South East Asia
-Singapore?
-Terrible. And the rest of the band was even worse.

-My wife went on a sailing course in Poole
-In Dorset?
-Yes, she'd recommend it to anyone.

My wife had a nasty car accident in Mid-Wales?
- Lampeter?
- No, she drove into a wall.

My wife's gone to Indonesia.
Jakarta?
No, she flew with British Airways.

- My wife's studying polar bears somewhere in the Arctic.
- Alaska?
- Impossible, she's out of contact at the moment.

My wife's gone to Iceland.
Höfn?
No, just the once.

Who was the wife of Jupiter?
Juno?
No, that's why I'm asking.

What is the state capital of Alaska
Juneau
Yes, but do you?

My brother was taken ill on a flight to England
-Heathrow?
-No, but he felt very queasy

- My wife bought some second-hand clothes in Cheshire.
- Altrincham?
- No, they fitted her perfectly.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:40 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

July 11, 2007

"No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money."

Blogging for dosh - Times Online
There are 57 million blogs on the web and 100,000 new ones appear every day. But can you make any money from an online journal?

Not as much as you can flipping burgers seems to be answer.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:25 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 8, 2007

A Pneumatic Blonde in the morning makes my day

So this is what I was faced with this morning at eye level as they wrestled this barely dressed blonde to the ground outside my home. At least I got compensated with a bottle of whisky for my distress....

Posted by The Englishman at 9:32 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

More un-Britishness from Gordon

Ministers eye Her Majesty's swans | Uk News | News | Telegraph
The Royal Prerogative by which swans belong to the Queen looks likely to be scrapped under Gordon Brown's programme of constitutional reform.

It would see her stripped of the title "Seigneur of the Swans" and would mean an end to the "upping" ceremony

Now that is going to far! Next he will be attacking us Castle dweller's Droit de seigneur, ius primae noctis and the "upping" ceremony . Outrageous infringement of our ancient liberties!

Haven't the Tartan Taliban learnt from Tony that the sheer pointless modernising for the sake of modernising, the destruction of the old just because it is old, when no obvious improvement is offered in place is the worm that is destroying the foundations of our society? Or is this part of the Gramscian beliefs of our leaders that:

The working-class needed to develop a culture of its own, which would overthrow the notion that bourgeois values represented 'natural' or 'normal' values for society, and would attract the oppressed and intellectual classes to the cause of the proletariat

Posted by The Englishman at 9:24 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 29, 2007

All Shall Have Prizes


Little Man in a Toque » Blog Archive » The Witanagemot Club Political Blogging Awards 2007

Blogging awards seem to the the in thing at the moment, so, without further ado -

The Witanagemot Club Political Blogging Awards are open for business.

Questions include:

* Blogger most deserving of a book deal
* Blogger you would most like to shag (it’s an anonymous survey so your secret is safe)
* Blogger most likely to vote for a donkey if you slapped the correct colour rosette on it
* Blogger most desperate to win blogging awards

But there are serious categories too! So get voting.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 21, 2007

Target Rich Environment


BBC NEWS | In Pictures | within stalking walking distance of here...

Posted by The Englishman at 4:17 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 18, 2007

Badger, Badger, Badger


BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Badger cull 'not cost effective'

...badger culling did reduce cattle TB, it would have to be so extensive it would be uneconomical.

Culling Badgers Does Not Help Curb Bovine TB - UK News Headlines

Culling badgers does not help control TB in cattle - and could even make the problem worse, a major government report has concluded.
Badger cull abandoned after TB report | Animals | Wildlife | Earth | Telegraph

Ministers are expected to abandon plans to license a widespread cull of badgers after a decade-long study by independent scientists concluded that a cull would only increase the spread of bovine tuberculosis.

Well that is clear then...

Why not cut to the chase and ignore the science - Badgers look cuddly, do you think I want to be known as Ben Badger Basher Bradshaw?

PS Any chance of a donation?

Posted by The Englishman at 9:14 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

June 13, 2007

Go wild in the country

Dreams of a rural idyll can end in nightmares | Uk News | News | Telegraph
People who dream of escaping stressful city lives for an idyllic existence in an English country village could be in for a nasty shock, a study discloses today.

A survey of a home counties village found that it was a haven for gossip, backbiting and social exclusion for those who did not fit the mould of the perfect village resident.

A researcher who lived in the village, referred to as "Stonycroft" to keep its true identity secret, found that on the surface life there was idyllic with many residents saying their well-being was improved physically and emotionally for being in the country.

However, after digging beneath the surface, it was found that residents who were gay, divorced, childless and even single were victimised and even outcast by other villagers. For these people, life was stressful and in some cases it led to mental and physical health problems.

The study,... calls on health professionals to look further into the problems faced by some individuals in rural areas.
....

The manager of the pub, who had lived in the village since he was 11 and was now in his 20s, said he was shunned by some residents after announcing that he was gay.

He said he been victimised in the village, despite claiming that several local men had asked him for sex.

Another long-term resident said former friends in the village had given him the "cold shoulder" after he had an affair, his marriage broke up and his wife and children moved away.
...
In a third example, a woman in her late 20s, known as Debbie, said she felt she was excluded from some social activities because she was single. Married women were "suspicious" of her because they thought she would be after their husbands, making her feel "lonely and isolated".

Before we get swamped by "Health Professionals" looking further into our problems let's just look at those three examples again - The gay publican, has his pub been firebombed? Is an unease with homosexuality unknown in the city? Maybe people who have known him all his life are unhappy in that he lead a secret life before he came out. While crude incorrect jokes abound in village pubs in my experience true locals don't really care who or what other locals shag as long as it has a pulse, and even that isn't a hard and fast rule in the deer shooting season.

Another is a bloke who has an affair and breaks up a marriage with children, I'm not surprised or worried that that some people take his wife's side, and the final horror is wives being suspicious of their husbands spending too long with a young single woman with a biological clock racing - and that is unusual?

Any university professor conducting an anthropological study down here might have found much worse as we dragged the ducking stool out of the shed behind the pub as we waited for John the hurdlemaker to finish the wickerman....

Have your say at the Telegraph

Posted by The Englishman at 6:34 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 27, 2007

Gooseberry Chutney from 23rd May 1907

This is a recipe in my grandmother's cook book dated 23rd May 1907:

4 pints Gooseberries boiled in 1 1/2 pints Vinegar
2 lbs brown sugar made into a syrup with 1 1/2 pints Vinegar
1 1/2 lbs Raisens, stoned and chopped
6 oz Mustard Seed gently dried and blended

Mix altogether, put into a cool oven for four hours, on several occasions add vinegar as required - I always find the boiled vinegar sufficient, Add Chillies to taste.

Strong stomachs those Edwardians - but it sounds worth trying. Unfortunately our Gooseberries aren't ready yet, despite Global warming the season doesn't seem to be any earlier...

Posted by The Englishman at 1:46 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 5, 2007

Chilli Cook-off - A Date for Your Diary

Saturday 23rd May JUNE - King's Arms, All Cannings, Wiltshire.

It is the BIG Chilli (or Chili to our colonial cousins) Cook-Off - see the advert to the right.

Will Mr FM attempt to beat me again? Will anyone survive Geoff Baker's Ring of Fire? Have you booked your space yet? If not why not?

It promises to be bigger and better than last year so I would be pleased to greet any readers who can make it, plenty of room for a few more tents in the garden so you can enjoy the beer as well.

I look forward to seeing you here. (And any tips are welcomed in the comments, as I failed to pick up a prize last year....)

Posted by The Englishman at 10:44 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

January 12, 2007

Pikey? Me?

Thanks t the several readers who have pointed me to The Policeman's Blog and the funny comments regarding Gypsies etc in Wiltshire - but I'm a bit worried when I read these undesirables can be recognised thus:

.. Scrap and the odd shotgun.. Dogs roam untethered, ..animal waste litters the floor ( Well that sounds like every Wiltshire farmyard)
In relation to their physical description, the men are often stocky to large, hard features, ruddy complexion, wax jackets, moleskin pants, dealer boots, always a Jap 4wd to hand, a Shogun or similar, often difficult to get to the bottom of their identity .. (Ummm)

Posted by The Englishman at 4:12 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 22, 2006

Today we sing the old songs

all_cannings_church.jpg On an ancient mound surrounded by yew trees the Church has "it’s origins in Norman times. However, it underwent significant rebuilding in the early part of the 14th century.(As the church website apologetically puts it.)
I was baptised there, married a previous Mrs Englishman there, had my children christened and said goodbye to my parents there. Whilst I leave the God bothering to others I will be there this morning to watch my little girl sing the old carols at a candlelit service - I think I better pack an extra handkerchief in case I get some grit in my eye...

Posted by The Englishman at 9:40 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

December 21, 2006

Hippies - you've got to love them!

BBC NEWS | England | Wiltshire | Early celebrations for Solstice

Around 60 people turned up at to celebrate the Winter Solstice at Stonehenge - on the wrong day.
After negotiating with site-managers English Heritage, the crowd performed traditional solstice activities on Thursday morning, and left peacefully.
One reveller, who wished to remain anonymous, said: "We formed a ring and held hands, and touched the stones. The man with the green cloak was there.
"But there were an awful lot of red faces," she said.
The Pagan celebration of Winter Solstice is one of the oldest winter celebrations in the world.
People assume because the Summer Solstice is the 21st June, the Winter Solstice will be the 21st December

The Solstice is actually at 0022 GMT on Friday 22nd December this year.....

Posted by The Englishman at 12:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What Broadband is for at Xmas

Winter Wonderland Radio - Pandora Internet Radio

Essential Christmas background musice for those of us of a certain age...

Posted by The Englishman at 11:58 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 20, 2006

Home, home on the range...

...
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day..

Marlin 1894C and Springfield 45-70

Where the air is so pure, the zephyrs so free
The breezes so balmy and light
That I would not exchange my home on the range
For all of the cities so bright

Home, home on the range
Where the deer and the antelope play
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day

Posted by The Englishman at 6:46 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 14, 2006

VC Hero?

Telegraph | News | VC for Para Budd, one of the heroes of Helmand

A paratrooper who launched a lone charge on Taliban lines after his platoon was ambushed is expected to be awarded the Victoria Cross today.
The men of 3Bn the Parachute Regiment will be showered with operational honours including the highest award for gallantry that will be given posthumously to Cpl Bryan Budd.

Posted by The Englishman at 12:13 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 30, 2006

How we spend our money down here...

Magical Romance Brings World Record Price at Tattersalls Sale - bloodhorse.com

Magical Romance set a world auction record for a broodmare or broodmare prospect when purchased for 4.6 million guineas (about $9.35 million) at Tattersalls' December Sale in Newmarket on Tuesday, Nov. 28.

Wigan said the mare -- along with Spinning Queen, purchased for 3 million guineas (about $6.1 million) Monday -- were bought for Lady Rothschild...

Who farms just along the valley from me, you may have seen picture of the Hunt meeting at her place the day after hunting was banned here

Mr FM better watch out in case Mrs FM decides it is time to upgrade her horses, though of course the other option is for him to retire to his shed in the garden and then presumably he would need something like the next farm along to Lady R. has - the Keswick's Folly...

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Times Watch

Times.jpg
Bottom of Matthew Parris today......

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November 29, 2006

Vivat Oxonia

Dons reject plan to halt 900 years of self-rule by Oxford

Oxford’s reform plans were thrown into chaos last night when academics unexpectedly threw out proposals to hand strategic control of the university to outsiders.

In what amounts to a crushing blow for John Hood, the Vice-Chancellor, the academics voted by a massive majority against his amended Governance White Paper. ....

Dr Hood had recommended ending 900 years of self-rule by creating a board of directors with a majority of externally appointed members to approve the budget and oversee the running of the university. He had argued that his reforms would improve accountability and transparency and were crucial to Oxford retaining its international dominance.

His opponents, however, feared that, ultimately, financial interests could outweigh Oxford’s academic priorities, to the detriment of students, staff and the university. ...

Dr Hood had been backed by the Higher Education Funding Council for England and by Lord Patten of Barnes, the Oxford Chancellor.

Oh, caput stercoris Patten,"Te futueo et equum tuum" - or in other words if he is in favour of it there is no need of any further thought, it is the wrong idea to follow. Somehow I have more faith in an institution that has survived war, pestilence and Labour Governments than I have in modern management consultants.


For those of you still in the lower forms the translation is "Oh, Shithead (lit. Cap of shit) Patten, "Go screw yourself and your horse (you rode in on)".

Posted by The Englishman at 6:06 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 26, 2006

Putting out the empties

Kims%20visit.jpg
Clearing up after Kim and his two boys stayed - bottles ready for the bin...

What great company and gracious guests they are - looking forward to you coming again.

Posted by The Englishman at 1:55 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

November 20, 2006

Calling Tory Bloggers

Martine Martin's Lebwog

So be a saint and help out a student in need

Posted by The Englishman at 6:23 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 16, 2006

More Old Steel

Telegraph | News | Nanotube secrets of Damascus steel blade

For hundreds of years, some of the keenest minds searched in vain for the secret of how blacksmiths in the ancient Middle East fashioned a tough and flexible metal known as Damascus steel.
...
The search for the secret of the shimmering alloy may now be nearing an end, thanks to a study that reveals that the blacksmiths unwittingly managed to create "nanotubes" of carbon, structures at levels of a billionth of a metre....

Damascus blades are thought to have been forged from small cakes of steel known as "wootz", probably produced in India. A sophisticated treatment was then applied to the steel, but details of this were lost in the 18th century.

Prof Paufler believes that, as further details of this material emerge it might be possible to reproduce the long-lost recipe.

The "Damascus Steel" pattern we all love in our old firearms is not the original sort - for that you need to see a display of old swords. If you are unlucky enough not to have a few on the walls of your baronial hall I would recommend the Pitt Rivers Museum in Oxford, many the afternoon I snuck off from lectures to admire its riches.

I don't know if I'm pleased that we are cracking the mystery of if I would prefer it to remain unanswered and part of the romance of the past...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:28 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

November 9, 2006

Keeping the customers away.

Kennet News from the Gazette and Herald Editor's Blog

FURTHER to my rant about Jobsworth parking wardens the other day, now we hear they have annoyed register office staff so much they are refusing to go back to Marlborough.

The wardens there kept ticketing their car while they unloaded their files outside the town hall.

Now they have said they are not going back, so anyone in the town wanting to register a birth or death will have to go to Devizes.

Nice one lads. Why don't you have a go at the blood transfusion service next?

I was once cornered in our reception by one of the old school traffic wardens. He complained that we painted them in a bad light. Bearing in mind he himself had ticketed Santa's sleigh when it was parked in Devizes Market Place (I kid you not)I could not agree with him.

As I said before, they may all be charming people but unless they actually prove it by exhibiting some recognisable human emotion I'll always think otherwise.

And in other news; Kennet plan to increase parking fees by 66% in the shopper car park as they squeak about how they are helping revitalise the moribund centre of Devizes - I never bother going there now as I can't park the car anywhere close.
Car parking remains free for Kennet Council employees at their plush offices in Devizes.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:25 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 3, 2006

Exclusive David Bowie MP3

Last year I happened across the original mastertape of David Bowie's Changes, I tried to arrange for the owner to return them to Bowie's people but it never happened. So as far as I know they are still sitting in a cupboard in Wiltshire. To confirm it was what it claimed to be we transferred it to modern tape - but of course as we didn't have the copyright so we didn't do anything with it, though it sounded fantastic. I thought I had wiped all of the copy I had but I have just found this snippet, which I thought you might find interesting:Download file

Posted by The Englishman at 9:07 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 31, 2006

A busy night at the castle

Dipping Brussel Sprouts in chocolate and wrapping them in Ferrero Roche papers for the young urchins shouting "trick or treat" at the gate, of course for the older feral chavs I find a pan of copper coins warming on the hot plate of the Aga more suitable for their outstretched hands.
In the Butler's Pantry the ironing board is busy pressing the Poppies, with care they can last for years, especially if you stick to the etiquette of only wearing them from the 1st to the 11th.
Faggots for the fire are piled up in the porch, the first welcome signs of winter are arriving. Enjoy.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:44 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 28, 2006

Mother Earth

Mother%20Earth.jpg
Detail from one of the hunting photos below compared to a detail from an Amedeo Modigliani "Reclining Nude".
Is it just me?

Posted by The Englishman at 9:09 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

The Opening Meet

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hunt%202.jpg

Through the red veil of a hangover from drinking with Mr FM and Mr NBC last night I wandered off to grab a port and sausage roll at the Opening Meet.
As always the hospitality was generous and there was a good turnout. There is something about smartly turned out fillies that always pleases.
The meet was in the small hamlet of Huish nestling under the Marlborough Downs - in the background there was the small chapel where David Niven married Primula Susan Rollo in 1940 and where she was buried after her untimely death.
After a few rousing words from the Master, emphasising that they were staying with in the Law by only hound exercising and a bit of trail following, they were off, hooves clattering down the street reminding me of how somethings stay the same, and how some people hate us for wanting it to stay so..
Where ever you are "Good Hunting!"
hunt%203.jpg
hunt%204.jpg
Whoops - a small accident, the hounds picked up the scent of a fox round the lambing pens, but no harm done (apart from to the fox) and it is off for some fun away from the roads and spectators...
hunt%205.jpg

Posted by The Englishman at 12:36 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 21, 2006

Guns with Character, with added Wadworth's Beer

Devizes & District Miniature Rifle League
CENTENARY INDIVIDUAL AND TEAM SHOOTING COMPETITION

Celebrating the League’s 100th year and the development of the British Service Rifle

The competition is open to clubs affiliated to the League. Clubs may enter all their registered riflemen for the INDIVIDUAL COMPETITION. Of these entrants the earliest to shoot each evening will also make up the club team for that evening for the TEAM COMPETITION.

At each range, each rifleman will have 3 sighters, to gain familiarity with the rifle, and 7 shots to count.
Shooting jackets, gloves, elbow pads and orthoptic glasses will not be allowed.
Scoring: Bull 5 points, miss 4 points. All shots spotted.

THE RANGES
Range 1. Conservative Club .22 Martini-Henry rifle (c. 1874).
Range 2. New Inn .22 Lee-Metford rifle (c. 1888).
Range 3. Rowde Village Hall .22 SMLE rifle (c. 1902).
Range 4. Lamb Inn .22 No.4 rifle (c. 1939).
Range 5. Eastwell, lanes 1 & 2 .22 L1A1 rifle (c.1958).
Range 6. Eastwell, lanes 3 & 4 .22 L85 rifle (c.1980).


Now that is a line up of guns to drool over - and any Conservative Club that can offer a Martini Henry to shoot are my sort of Conservatives - I wonder if Dave knows.....

Posted by The Englishman at 9:10 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 17, 2006

A day in the life of..

BBC NEWS | UK | Blog aims to record everyday life

Thousands of people across Britain are expected to contribute to a project aiming to create an online archive of a day in the life of the country.
The National Trust is encouraging people to record a diary of their day on a website, as part of what is being called "Britain's biggest blog". ..
And the trust says the emphasis does not have to be on recording exciting events.

Historian Dan Snow said "the minutiae of what as many people as possible got up to on a normal boring day" was actually "quite exciting".

Share your boring day here

Posted by The Englishman at 6:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 5, 2006

'A propensity to play billiards well is a sure sign of a misspent youth

Wow!

Posted by The Englishman at 6:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 3, 2006

Will Ye No Come Back Again?

Cabarfeidh - Highland Warriors is hanging up his bonnet - a sad loss to the blogosphere.
Thanks for all the insight, inspiration and help!

Posted by The Englishman at 6:34 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 28, 2006

The "most hated" tax in the country

Telegraph | News | More pensioners suffer as council tax bites harder

More than two million households in England, many of them pensioners, struggle to pay their council tax, according to an independent report published today.

It found that one in 10 households had difficulty paying the tax, which according to a recent poll is the "most hated" tax in the country.

One in four households in band A, the lowest value band for properties, receives a summons, and one in seven in band B...

...report comes as Sir Michael Lyons's carries out a review of council tax for the Government. Sir Michael's interim report last year suggested he was considering introducing the same system of local taxation now being rolled out in Northern Ireland.

Current council tax bands would be abolished and replaced with an annual levy calculated using the value of each property.

Residents would typically be charged at 0.78 per cent of their home's value each year, more if they enjoyed good views, pushing the average bill from £1,056 to £1,492.

So it isn't just me then that objects. Pensiners have had their pensions robbed at one end by Gordon and now the Council each year mulcts them at the other. Thank goodness and Adam Smith that the shopping basket gets cheaper each year because it in some ways balances the inflation caused by the public sector. The thought of a huge rise is enough to get me down the barn sharpening the sickle.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:22 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

September 18, 2006

.. But I don't use it as a rule - Boom Boom!

Guardian Unlimited | Science | Man rejects first penis transplant

Chinese surgeons have performed the world's first penis transplant on a man whose organ was damaged beyond repair in an accident this year....Doctors spent 15 hours attaching a 10cm penis to the 44-year-old patient...Although the operation was a surgical success, surgeons said they had to remove the penis two weeks later. "Because of a severe psychological problem of the recipient and his wife, the transplanted penis regretfully had to be cut off," Dr Hu said. An examination of the organ showed no signs of it being rejected by the body.

10 cm in real money seems to be only four inches or a handsbreadth - no wonder the missus and him were upset - what use is that?

Posted by The Englishman at 8:24 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

September 13, 2006

Breaking the nuLabour Blogging Law

Basic guide to political blogging: The Labour Party: securing Britain's future

How can I start blogging?

There’s lots of software on the internet that allows you to set up a blog. Here are two you might look at – they are established and widely-used.

Blogger.com ..WordPress,

Don't use either of those.

What makes a good blog?

* You should provide local answers to local questions and issues.

Nope - unless pointing out some suitable lamp posts and providing the rope for the Councillors is considered an answer.

* You should debate national and international issues.

Debate? - No, I rant - debate is when you want to hear someone else's point of view - I don't.

* You should promote contrary and interesting opinions - a personality, or sense of humour, helps!

Gratuitous use of exclamation marks doesn't a comic make - I bet you are the sort who has a "you don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps" sign in their cubicle.

* You should avoid personal attacks.

Bollocks, you spotty-faced scrawny wonk.

* You should avoid being wholly negative.

How else can you talk about Gordon Brown?

Some other advice

As a general rule, using a blog to mount attacks on one's political opponents is very unattractive to readers, and should be kept to a minimum – unless it can be done with great style and wit! Criticism has its place, but appearing too negative, or too partisan can reduce your credibility.

That is why no one reads this then.

* Personal articles are fine. Swearing is a no-no, and late-night blogging may not seem such a good idea in the morning.

Bugger another nuLabour guideline I'm breaking. No wonder they are so good at it.

Posted by The Englishman at 1:43 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

The Two Things Question

The Two Things

“You know, the Two Things. For every subject, there are really only two things you really need to know. Everything else is the application of those two things, or just not important.”

“Oh,” I said. “Okay, here are the Two Things about economics. One: Incentives matter. Two: There’s no such thing as a free lunch.”

Ever since that evening, I’ve been playing the Two Things game. Whenever I meet someone who belongs to a different profession (i.e., a profession I haven’t played this game with), or who knows something about a subject I'm unfamiliar with, I pose the Two Things question.

So what are The Two Things for what you do?

For Farming I would say:

1 Farm as though you will farm forever, live as though you will die tomorrow.
2 The best manure is the Farmer's boot - (also known as management by walking about)

For a landowner I would say:

1 Be mature enough when young to plant a tree.
2 Be immature enough when old to climb it.

I look forward to hearing yours.

Posted by The Englishman at 10:49 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

September 10, 2006

KBO

EU Referendum muses on blogging - and it boils it down to:
"democracy is not a spectator sport"

Some of us aren't as skilled or knowledgeable as the great bloggers of our time but I believe our picas and banderillas do their bit as well.


Inches: And how are you this morning, Sir?
Churchill: All right, I think. Thank you for asking. Missing her, of course, but that’s to be expected. No point in dwelling on her absence. We must KBO.
Inches: Yes, Sir. Keep buggering on at all times, Sir.
Churchill: KBO. That’s the order of the day.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Gone, Gone! And never called me Mother!

Sorry don't know where this site disappeared to today - you have been spared my accumulated wit and wisdom on today's events - count yourself lucky.
If it goes again I will talk to the hosts.

Posted by The Englishman at 5:49 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 8, 2006

Oh to be in England now September is here

A unexpectedly wonderful Indian Summer evening.
Castle%20Fire%20Pit.gif
The Barbecue has been retired to the barn so I lifted a couple of slabs and built a fire pit - the Mrs wasn't completely sure if I was still sane or not. Combined with a glass or two of the newly arrived 2001 Hochar Père et Fils, and a trip to The King's Arms later, it would be hard to find a finer place.
In fact the only improvement I can think of is a brace of politicians slowly being turned over the dying embers.
Have a good weekend.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:23 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Worshipping Idols

Hinduism no barrier to job as priest in Church of England - Britain - Times Online

A PRIEST with the Church of England who converted to Hinduism has been allowed to continue to officiate as a cleric.

The Rev David Hart’s diocese renewed his licence this summer even though he had moved to India, changed his name to Ananda and daily blesses a congregation of Hindus with fire previously offered up to Nagar, the snake god. He also “recites Gayatri Mantram with the same devotion with which he celebrates the Eucharist”, according to The Hindu, India’s national newspaper.

The Hindu this week pictures him offering prayers to an idol of the elephant god Ganesh in front of his house. However, he still believes he is fit to celebrate as an Anglican priest and plans to do so when he returns to Britain.

I'm not much of a God Botherer myself but I do have strong views as to what constitutes a proper CofE service. I'm a straight down the middle man - smells and bells have me reaching for my sash and at the other extreme the first sighting of a guitar will have me hightailing it out through the vestry.
But the real problem the dear old CofE has had is that the Skypilots no longer have a bloody clue where they are navigating us to. But I do know worshipping snake gods shouldn't be on the list - it would be as confusing as the Waitrose checkout girls wearing "Buy at Lidl" badges. If he can't swear to The 39 Articles then he should be chucked out on his henna coated ear. I would particularly draw 22 and the "repugnancy" of the adoration of Images to his attention.

See below for the hard to find 1662 version of the 39 Articles - which however much the Church tries to fudge and ignore is still the official text which Ministers are required to affirm their acceptance to.

Articles of Religion.
A Table of the Articles
1. Of Faith in the Holy Trinity.
2. Of Christ the Son of God.
3. Of his going down into Hell.
4. Of his Resurrection.
5. Of the Holy Ghost.
6. Of the Sufficiency of the Scripture.
7. Of the Old Testament.
8. Of the Three Creeds.
9. Of Original or Birth-sin.
10. Of Free-Will.
11. Of Justification.
12. Of Good Works.
13. Of Works before Justification.
14. Of Works of Supererogation.
15. Of Christ alone without Sin.
16. Of Sin after Baptism.
17. Of Predestination and Election.
18. Of obtaining Salvation by Christ.
19. Of the Church.
20. Of the Authority of the Church.
21. Of the Authority of General Councils.
22. Of Purgatory.
23. Of Ministering in the Congregation.
24. Of speaking in the Congregation.
25. Of the Sacraments.
26. Of the Unworthiness of Ministers.
27. Of Baptism.
28. Of the Lord's Supper.
29. Of the Wicked which eat not the Body of Christ.
30. Of both kinds.
31. Of Christ's one Oblation.
32. Of the Marriage of Priests.
33. Of Excommunicate Persons.
34. Of the Traditions of the Church.
35. Of the Homilies.
36. Of Consecrating of Ministers.
37. Of Civil Magistrates.
38. Of Christian men's Goods.
39. Of a Christian man's Oath.

The Ratification.
I. Of faith in the Holy Trinity.
THERE is but one living and true God, everlasting, without body, parts, or passions; of infinite power, wisdom, and goodness; the maker and preserver of all things both visible and invisible. And in unity of this Godhead there be three Persons, of one substance, power, and eternity; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

II. Of the Word, or Son of God, which was made very man.
THE Son, which is the Word of the Father, begotten from everlasting of the Father, the very and eternal God, and of one substance with the Father, took man's nature in the womb of the blessed Virgin, of her substance: so that two whole and perfect natures, that is to say, the Godhead and manhood, were joined together in one person, never to be divided, whereof is one Christ, very God and very man, who truly suffered, was crucified, dead, and buried, to reconcile His Father to us, and to be a sacrifice, not only for original guilt, but also for all actual sins of men.

III. Of the going down of Christ into Hell.
AS Christ died for us, and was buried, so also is it to be believed that He went down into Hell.

IV. Of the Resurrection of Christ.
CHRIST did truly rise again from death, and took again His body, with flesh, bones, and all things appertaining to the perfection of man's nature, wherefore He ascended into heaven, and there sitteth until He return to judge all men at the last day.

V. Of the Holy Ghost.
THE Holy Ghost, proceeding from the Father and the Son, is of one substance, majesty, and glory with the Father and the Son, very and eternal God.

VI. Of the sufficiency of the Holy Scriptures for Salvation.
HOLY Scriptures containeth all things necessary to salvation: so that whatsoever is not read therein, nor may be proved thereby, is not to be required of any man, that it should be believed as an article of the faith, or be thought requisite or necessary to salvation. In the name of Holy Scripture, we do understand those Canonical books of the Old and New testament, of whose authority was never any doubt in the Church.
Of the names and number of the Canonical Books.
Genesis.
Exodus.
Leviticus.
Numbers.
Deuteronomy.
Joshua.
Judges.
Ruth.
The First Book of Samuel.
The Second Book of Samuel.
The First Book of Kings.
The Second Book of Kings.
The First Book of Chronicles.
The Second Book of Chronicles.
The First Book of Esdras.
The Second Book of Esdras.
The Book of Esther.
The Book of Job.
The Psalms.
The Proverbs.
Ecclesiastes, or the Preacher.
Cantica, or Songs of Solomon.
Four Prophets the Greater.
Twelve Prophets the Less.
And the other books (as Hierome saith) the Church doth read for example of life and instruction of manners; but yet doth it not apply them to establish any doctrine; such are these following:
The Third Book of Esdras.
The Fourth Book of Esdras.
The Book of Tobias.
The Book of Judith.
The rest of the Book of Esther.
The Book of Wisdom.
Jesus the Son of Sirach.
Baruch the Prophet.
The Song of the Three Children.
The Story of Susanna.
Of Bel and the Dragon.
The Prayer of Manasses.
The First Book of Maccabees.
The Second Book of Maccabees.
All the books of the New Testament, as they are commonly received, we do receive, and account them canonical.

VII. Of the Old Testament.
THE Old Testament is not contrary to the New; for both in the Old and New Testament everlasting life is offered to mankind by Christ, who is the only Mediator between God and man, being both God and man. Wherefore there are not to be heard which feign that the old fathers did look only for transitory promises. Although the law given from God by Moses, as touching ceremonies and rites, do not bind Christian men, nor the civil precepts thereof ought of necessity to be received in any commonwealth; yet, notwithstanding, no Christian man whatsoever is free from the obedience of the commandments which are called moral.

VIII. Of the Three Creeds.
THE three Creeds, Nicene Creed, Athanasius' Creed, and that which is commonly called the Apostles' Creed, ought thoroughly to be received and believed; for they may be proved by most certain warrants of Holy Scripture.

IX. Of Original or Birth Sin.
ORIGINAL sin standeth not in the following of Adam (as the Pelagians do vainly talk), but it is the fault and corruption of the nature of every man that naturally is engendered of the offspring of Adam, whereby man is very far gone from original righteousness, and is of his own nature inclined to evil, so that the flesh lusteth always contrary to the spirit; and therefore in every person born into this world, it deserveth God's wrath and damnation. And this infection of nature doth remain, yea, in them that are regenerated, whereby the lust of the flesh, called in Greek phronema sarkos (which some do expound the wisdom, some sensuality, some the affection, some the desire of the flesh), is not subject to the law of God. And although there is no condemnation for them that believe and are baptized, yet the Apostle doth confess that concupiscence and lust hath itself the nature of sin.

X. Of Free Will.
THE condition of man after the fall of Adam is such, that he cannot turn and prepare himself, by his own natural strength and good works, to faith and calling upon God. Wherefore we have no power to do good works pleasant and acceptable to God, without the grace of God by Christ preventing us that we may have a good will, and working with us when we have that good will.

XI. Of the Justification of Man.
WE are accounted righteous before God, only for the merit of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ by faith, and not for our own works or deservings. Wherefore that we are justified by faith only is a most wholesome doctrine, and very full of comfort; as more largely is expressed in the Homily of Justification.

XII. Of Good Works.
ALBEIT that good works, which are the fruits of faith and follow after justification, cannot put away our sins and endure the severity of God's judgement, yet are they pleasing and acceptable to God in Christ, and do spring out necessarily of a true and lively faith, insomuch that by them a lively faith may be as evidently known as a tree discerned by the fruit.

XIII. Of Works before Justification.
WORKS done before the grace of Christ and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, are not pleasant to God, forasmuch as they spring not of faith in Jesus Christ, neither do they make men meet to receive grace, or (as the School authors say) deserve grace of congruity: yea, rather for that they are not done as God hath willed and commanded them to be done, we doubt not but they have the nature of sin.

XIV. Of Works of Supererogation.
VOLUNTARY works besides, over and above, God's commandments which they call Works of Supererogation, cannot be taught without arrogancy and impiety. For by them men do declare that they do not only render unto God as much as they are bound to do, but that they do more for His sake than of bounden duty is required: Whereas Christ saith plainly, When ye have done all that are commanded to do, say, We be unprofitable servants.

XV. Of Christ alone without Sin.
CHRIST in the truth of our nature was made like unto us in all things, sin only except, from which He was clearly void, both in His flesh and in His spirit. He came to be the lamb without spot, Who by sacrifice of Himself once made, should take away the sins of the world: and sin, as S. John saith, was not in Him. But all we the rest, although baptized and born again in Christ, yet offend in many things: and if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

XVI. Of Sin after Baptism.
NOT every deadly sin willingly committed after Baptism is sin against the Holy Ghost, and unpardonable. Wherefore the grant of repentance is not to be denied to such as fall into sin after Baptism. After we have received the Holy Ghost, we may depart from grace given and fall into sin, and by the grace of God we may arise again and amend our lives. And therefore they are to be condemned, which say they can no more sin as long as they live here, or deny the place of forgiveness to such as truly repent.

XVII. Of Predestination and Election.
PREDESTINATION to life is the everlasting purpose of God, whereby, before the foundations of the world were laid, He hath constantly decreed by His counsel secret to us, to deliver from curse and damnation those whom He hath chosen in Christ out of mankind, and to bring them by Christ to everlasting salvation as vessels made to honour. Wherefore they which be endued with so excellent a benefit of God be called according to God's purpose by His Spirit working in due season; they through grace obey the calling; they be justified freely; they be made sons of God by adoption; they be made like the image of His only-begotten Son Jesus Christ; they walk religiously in good works; and at length by God's mercy they attain to everlasting felicity.
As the godly consideration of Predestination and our Election in Christ is full of sweet, pleasant, and unspeakable comfort to godly persons and such as feeling in themselves the working of the Spirit of Christ, mortifying the works of the flesh and their earthly members and drawing up their mind to high and heavenly things, as well because it doth greatly establish and confirm their faith of eternal salvation to be enjoyed through Christ, as because it doth fervently kindle their love towards God: so for curious and carnal persons, lacking the Spirit of Christ, to have continually before their eyes the sentence of God's Predestination is a most dangerous downfall, whereby the devil doth thrust them either into desperation or into wretchlessness of most unclean living no less perilous than desperation.
Furthermore, we must receive God's promises in such wise as they be generally set forth in Holy Scripture; and in our doings that will of God is to be followed which we have expressly declared unto us in the word of God.

XVIII. Of obtaining eternal salvation only by the name of Christ.
THEY also are to be had accursed that presume to say that every man shall be saved by the law or sect which he professeth, so that he be diligent to frame his life according to that law and the light of nature. For Holy Scripture doth set out to us only the name of Jesus Christ, whereby men must be saved.

XIX. Of the Church.
THE visible Church of Christ is a congregation of faithful men, in the which the pure word of God is preached and the sacraments be duly ministered according to Christ's ordinance in all those things that of necessity are requisite to the same. As the Church of Jerusalem, Alexandria, and Antioch have erred: so also the Church of Rome hath erred, not only in their living and manner of ceremonies, but also in matters of faith.

XX. Of the Authority of the Church.
THE Church hath power to decree rites or ceremonies and authority in controversies of faith; and yet it is not lawful for the Church to ordain anything contrary to God's word written, neither may it so expound one place of Scripture, that it be repugnant to another. Wherefore, although the Church be a witness and a keeper of Holy Writ: yet, as it ought not to decree anything against the same, so besides the same ought it not to enforce anything to be believed for necessity of salvation.

XXI. Of the authority of General Councils.
GENERAL Councils may not be gathered together without the commandment and will of princes. And when they be gathered together, forasmuch as they be an assembly of men, whereof all be not governed with the Spirit and word of God, they may err and sometime have erred, even in things pertaining to God. Wherefore things ordained by them as necessary to salvation have neither strength nor authority, unless it may be declared that they be taken out of Holy Scripture.

XXII. Of Purgatory.
THE Romish doctrine concerning Purgatory, Pardons, worshipping and adoration as well of Images as of Relics, and also Invocation of Saint, is a fond thing vainly invented, and grounded upon no warranty of Scripture; but rather repugnant to the word of God.

XXIII. Of Ministering in the Congregation.
IT is not lawful for any man to take upon him the office of public preaching or ministering the sacraments in the congregation, before he be lawfully called and sent to execute the same. And those we ought to judge lawfully called and sent, which be chosen and called to this work by men who have public authority given unto them in the congregation to call and send ministers into the Lord's vineyard.

XXIV. Of speaking in the Congregation in such a tongue as the people understandeth.
IT is a thing plainly repugnant to the word of God and the custom of the primitive Church, to have public prayer in the Church, or to minister the sacraments in a tongue not understanded of the people.

XXV. Of the Sacraments.
SACRAMENTS ordained of Christ be not only badges or tokens of Christian men's profession, but rather they be certain sure witnesses and effectual signs of grace and God's good will towards us, by the which He doth work invisibly in us, and doth not only quicken, but also strengthen and confirm, our faith in Him.
There are two Sacraments ordained of Christ our Lord in the Gospel, that is to say, Baptism and the Supper of the Lord.
Those five commonly called Sacraments, that is to say, Confirmation, Penance, Orders, Matrimony, and Extreme Unction, are not to be counted for Sacraments of the Gospel, being such as have grown partly of the corrupt following of the Apostles, partly are states of life allowed in the Scriptures; but yet have not the like nature of Sacraments with Baptism and the Lord's Supper, for that they have not any visible sign or ceremony ordained of God.
The Sacraments were not ordained of Christ to be gazed upon or to be carried about, but that we should duly use them. And in such only as worthily receive the same, have they a wholesome effect or operation: but they that receive them unworthily, purchase to themselves damnation, as Saint Paul saith.

XXVI. Of the unworthiness of the Ministers, which hinders not the effect of the Sacraments.
ALTHOUGH in the visible Church the evil be ever mingled with the good, and sometime the evil have chief authority in the ministration of the word and sacraments; yet forasmuch as they do not the same in their own name, but in Christ's, and do minister by His commission and authority, we may use their ministry both in hearing the word of God and in the receiving of the sacraments. Neither is the effect of Christ's ordinance taken away by their wickedness, nor the grace of God's gifts diminished from such as by faith and rightly do receive the sacraments ministered unto them, which be effectual because of Christ's institution and promise, although they be ministered by evil men.
Nevertheless it appertaineth to the discipline of the Church that inquiry be made of evil ministers, and that they be accused by those that have knowledge of their offences; and finally, being found guilty by just judgement, be deposed.

XXVII. Of Baptism.
BAPTISM is not only a sign of profession and mark of difference whereby Christian men are discerned from other that be not christened, but is also a sign of regeneration or new birth, whereby, as by an instrument, they that receive baptism rightly are grafted into the Church; the promises of the forgiveness of sin, and of our adoption to be the sons of God, by the Holy Ghost are visibly signed and sealed; faith is confirmed, and grace increased by virtue of prayer unto God. The baptism of young children is in any wise to be retained in the Church as most agreeable with the institution of Christ.

XXVIII. Of the Lord's Supper.
THE Supper of the Lord is not only a sign of the love that Christians ought to have among themselves, one to another, but rather it is a sacrament of our redemption by Christ's death: insomuch that to such as rightly, worthily, and with faith receive the same, the bread which we break is a partaking of the body of Christ, and likewise the cup of blessing is a partaking of the blood of Christ.
Transubstantiation (or the change of the substance of bread and wine) in the Supper of the Lord, cannot be proved by Holy Writ, but is repugnant to the plain words of Scripture, overthroweth the nature of a Sacrament, and hath given occasion to many superstitions.
The body of Christ is given, taken, and eaten in the Supper, only after an heavenly and spiritual manner. And the mean whereby the body of Christ is received and eaten in the Supper is Faith.
The Sacrament of the Lord's Supper was not by Christ's ordinance reserved, carried about, lifted up, or worshipped.

XXIX. Of the wicked which do not eat the body of Christ, in the use of the Lord's Supper.
THE wicked and such as be void of a lively faith, although they do carnally and visibly press with their teeth (as S. Augustine saith) the sacrament of the body and blood of Christ, yet in no wise are they partakers of Christ, but rather to their condemnation do eat and drink the sign or sacrament of so great a thing.

XXX. Of Both Kinds.
THE Cup of the Lord is not to be denied to the lay people; for both parts of the Lord's sacrament, by Christ's ordinance and commandment, ought to be ministered to all Christian men alike.

XXXI. Of the one oblation of Christ finished upon the Cross.
THE offering of Christ once made is the perfect redemption, propitiation, and satisfaction for all the sins of the whole world, both original and actual, and there is none other satisfaction for sin but that alone. Wherefore the sacrifices of Masses, in the which it was commonly said that the priests did offer Christ for the quick and the dead to have remission of pain or guilt, were blasphemous fables and dangerous deceits.

XXXII. Of the Marriage of Priests.
BISHOPS, Priests, and Deacons are not commanded by God's laws either to vow the estate of single life or to abstain from marriage. Therefore it is lawful also for them, as for all other Christian men, to marry at their own discretion, as they shall judge the same to serve better to godliness.

XXXIII. Of Excommunicated Persons, how they are to be avoided.
THAT persons which by open denunciation of the Church is rightly cut off from the unity of the Church and excommunicated, ought to be taken of the whole multitude of the faithful as an heathen and publican, until he be openly reconciled by penance and received into the Church by a judge that hath authority thereto.

XXXIV. Of the Traditions of the Church.
IT is not necessary that traditions and ceremonies be in all places one or utterly alike; for at all times they have been diverse, and may be changed according to the diversity of countries, times, and men's manners, so that nothing be ordained against God's word. Whosoever through his private judgement willingly and purposely doth openly break the traditions and ceremonies of the Church which be not repugnant to the word of God, and be ordained and approved by common authority, ought to be rebuked openly that other may fear to do the like, as he that offendeth against common order of the Church, and hurteth the authority of the magistrate, and woundeth the conscience of the weak brethren.
Every particular or national Church hath authority to ordain, change, and abolish ceremonies or rites of the Church ordained only by man's authority, so that all things be done to edifying.

XXXV. Of Homilies.
THE second Book of Homilies, the several titles whereof we have joined under this Article, doth contain a godly and wholesome doctrine and necessary for these times, as doth the former Book of Homilies which were set forth in the time of Edward the Sixth: and therefore we judge them to be read in Churches by the ministers diligently and distinctly, that they may be understanded of the people.
Of the Names of the Homilies.

1. Of the right Use of the Church.
2. Against peril of Idolatry.
3. Of the repairing and keeping clean of Churches.
4. Of good Works: first of Fasting.
5. Against Gluttony and Drunkenness.
6. Against Excess of Apparel.
7. Of Prayer.
8. Of the Place and Time of Prayer.
9. That Common Prayers and Sacraments ought to be ministered in a known tongue.
10. Of the reverend estimation of God's Word.
11. Of Alms-doing.
12. Of the Nativity of Christ.
13. Of the Passion of Christ.
14. Of the Resurrection of Christ.
15. Of the worthy receiving of the Sacrament of the Body and Blood of Christ.
16. Of the Gifts of the Holy Ghost.
17. For the Rogation-days.
18. Of the state of Matrimony.
19. Of Repentance.
20. Against Idleness.
21. Against Rebellion

XXXVI. Of Consecration of Bishops and Ministers.
THE Book of Consecration of Archbishops and Bishops and ordering of Priests and Deacons, lately set forth in the time of Edward the Sixth and confirmed at the same time by authority of Parliament, doth contain all things necessary to such consecration and ordering; neither hath it anything that of itself is superstitious or ungodly. And therefore whosoever are consecrate or ordered according to the rites of that book, since the second year of King Edward unto this time, or hereafter shall be consecrated or ordered according to the same rites, we decree all such to be rightly, orderly, and lawfully consecrated or ordered.

XXXVII. Of the Civil Magistrates.
THE Queen's Majesty hath the chief power in this realm of England and other her dominions, unto whom the chief government of all estates of this realm, whether they be ecclesiastical or civil, in all causes doth appertain, and is not nor ought to be subject to any foreign jurisdiction.
Where we attribute to the Queen's Majesty the chief government, by which titles we understand the minds of some slanderous folks to be offended, we give not to our princes the ministering either of God's word or of sacraments, the which thing the Injunctions also lately set forth by Elizabeth our Queen doth most plainly testify: but that only prerogative which we see to have been given always to all godly princes in Holy Scriptures by God himself, that is, that they should rule all estates and degrees committed to their charge by God, whether they be ecclesiastical or temporal, and restrain with the civil sword the stubborn and evil-doers. The Bishop of Rome hath no jurisdiction in this realm of England.
The Laws of the Realm may punish Christian men with death for heinous and grievous offences.
It is lawful for Christian men at the commandment of the Magistrate to wear weapons and serve in the wars.

XXXVIII. Of Christian men's goods which are not common.
THE riches and goods of Christians are not common, as touching the right, title, and possession of the same, as certain Anabaptists do falsely boast; notwithstanding every man ought of such things as he possesseth liberally to give alms to the poor, according to his ability.

XXXIX. Of a Christian man's Oath.
AS we confess that vain and rash swearing is forbidden Christian men by our Lord Jesus Christ, so we judge that Christian religion doth not prohibit but that a man may swear when the magistrate requireth in a cause of faith and charity, so it be done according to the Prophet's teaching in justice, judgement, and truth.
The Ratification.
THIS Book of Articles before rehearsed, is again approved, and allowed to be holden and executed within the Realm, by the assent and consent of our Sovereign Lady ELIZABETH, by the grace of God, of England, France, and Ireland, Queen, Defender of the Faith, &c. Which Articles were deliberately read, and confirmed again by the subscription of the hands of the Archbishop and Bishops of the Upper-house, and by the subscription of the whole Clergy of the Nether-house in their Convocation, in the Year of our Lord 1571.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:47 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

September 5, 2006

A'hunting we will go

Telegraph | News | Hunt man turns himself in after dog kills mouse

A retired police officer has admitted twice flouting the new hunting law by allowing his terrier dog to chase and kill a mouse and a mole...

Mr Morrison said he was not taken seriously when he reported himself, but was eventually cautioned. He was later told no further action would be taken.

When Chip repeated the offence, the matter was again brought to police attention and a sergeant and constable conducted a second interview.

Again the Crown Prosecution Service did not bring proceedings.

So I might be safe in admitting the sad end to Sammy Squirrel who was plagueing the garden until the two Jack Russells caught scent of him....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 2, 2006

Coldest August this millenium

So, was it a washout... or one of the best summers of our lives? - Britain - Times Online

WE SO sweltered in July that we complained about the heat, then we moaned again as a wet August brought us back down to earth and we felt like we were drowning.
But despite the gloom, August was warmer than average...
It was a huge shock to crash from a sweltering average 17.8C (64F) in July to 16.1C (61.0F) in August

16.1 degrees to add to our spreadsheet for Central English Temperatures - and yes that justifies my alarmist headline.
The average August Temperature for the years 2000 - 2006 are: 16.6 16.8 17.0 18.3 17.6 16.2 16.1

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August 31, 2006

German Humour at its best

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August 30, 2006

BambiBurger time

Extended deer cull would put orphan fawns in hunters' sights - Britain - Times Online

RELAXED rules on deerhunting will bring more marksmen into the countryside as the wild deer population continues to soar. ...

Barry Gardiner, the Biodiversity Minister, said that wild deer populations were growing rapidly in parts of the country despite annual culls, and as a result the animals are causing millions of pounds’ worth of damage to agriculture.

He said: “They are damaging some of our most threatened woodland habitats. In addition, they are presenting an increasing hazard on our roads, with more than 300 people injured each year in deer-related road accidents.”

If the proposals become law, the close season will be shortened by a fortnight and licensed killing of deer will be permitted even during protected periods “to prevent the deterioration of natural heritage or to preserve public health and safety”.

“Any reasonable and humane means” to destroy deer suffering from injury or disease will be permitted, and dependent young could be killed if their mother has died.

All sensible stuff - we certainly have had a huge increase in Deer numbers here.

A spokesman for the Defra-funded deer initiative said: “Changing farming patterns and the Government’s policy of increasing forest cover have increased the available food and habitat. Climate change has meant we haven’t had a severe winter since about 1963, so everything’s going their way.”

Of course - got to get the obligatory "it is all the fault of climate change" in there somewhere...


UPDATE - on opening the curtains this morning this is what I saw through the drawing room window...
Castle%20Deer.jpg

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August 24, 2006

Global Warming - the proof

Numberwatch has accused me of Chartmanship with my Castle Cycle of Climate Change Theory

Huh, I say, I'm a Climate Change Scientist and suggestions that I pick and choose my data, dates, baselines and anything else are a wild calumny - if there is data missing it is because I need more research money, OK!
Anyway here is the proof of Global Warming - look at that temperature rise according to Met Office official figures!

Global%20Warming%20-%20the%20proof.jpg

So what if this covers the years 1695 to 1737 - this proves it, or something anyway!

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The Castle Cycle of Climate Change Theory

Numberwatch brings us news that the world is warming faster than we thought - to quote an email he received:

It's 0.023K per year, and that is increasing.
Please see: http://members.cox.net/rcoppock/Slope1952-2005.jpg

As Numberwatch says :"First, it behoves us offer congratulations. It does not fall to many of us to create a new scientific unit, but the measure of thermal acceleration in K century -2 appears to be quite unique. Let us hope that the International Organisation of Standards will do the right thing and name the new unit the coppock."

Then being the inquisitive chap I am I went to the source of the data and bunged it into a spreadsheet: Download Spreadsheet (I also added some CO2 numbers - sources in the spreadsheet).

The temperature records are from 1880 to 2005 for full years. And it shows a steady rise over that time with little sign of acceleration.

To compare the rate of warming I split the record into two halves 1880-1942 and 1943-2005. Out of interest the C02 concentration went from 292.3 in 1887 to 307.9 in 1943 (a very small rise) and then up to 374.61 in 2004 (a larger rise).

Here is the graph of the NASA data split as described - the Y axis is "GLOBAL Land-Ocean Temperature Index in .01 C - base period: 1951-1980"

Castle%20Cycle%20of%20Climate%20Change%20Theory.jpg

Now isn't that strange - in one period CO2 hardly changed and yet the warming seems to be the same as the more recent 63 years. You don't suppose that there are other factors at work do you?

Now as every man and his dog makes wild claims about climate change let me claim that there is a 63 year cycle of warming and this is called The Castle Cycle of Climate Change Theory - book, television series, and world tour to follow....


UPDATED - the Spreadsheet now has the English Temperature record added which shows the same trend - 1691 to 1754 seems to be the fastest rising temperature 63 year record - beating even the most recent - what did The Royal Society make of that then?

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August 12, 2006

Easy Rider

Coming out the pub last night I met up with this classic piece of local engineering and ingenuity - I'm glad I wasn't near him when he drove back having had his fill of snakebite....

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Some kind of electric powered moped-thing. He got it from the scrapman and decided its not worth spending money on so instead of buying a slim 24v battery for it, he made a basket and sat two regular size 12v car battery's in it.

The throttle is broken, so instead of being able to pull away gently you have to flick a switch, ON or OFF. And its quite front heavy due to the whopping great battery's over the front wheel.

Well done Del Boy, You've done it again. - Oldpigbarn

simple%2520controls.jpg

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August 11, 2006

Local Book Plug

An Angel Came Down

IS THERE SOMETHING DARK AT THE HEART OF
CROP CIRCLE COUNTRY?
AN ANGEL CAME DOWN
A Mystical Thriller by J.P. WARNER
The sudden appearance of an “Angel” on the hillside above a sleepy village plunges teenage twins, Em and Joe, into a whirl of mystery and menace. The twisting tale of their journey of discovery leads to a murderous conclusion that finally explains the real and deadly significance of Wiltshire’s world famous crop circles.

I'm off to buy my copy this morning - the main picture on the website is of one of my fields....

Good wholesome fare for the family I believe - unlike the last Angel from the village...

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August 3, 2006

Unhenged

Adam Smith Institute Blog writes on a local issue:

99% or more of people who see Stonehenge do so from the A303 as they come over the Amesbury ridge. It is one of the most thrilling sights in the world, and engages thousands of people with the monument; but it would be lost under the current plan.

A much better idea is that proposed by Heritage Action: simply to grass over the A344 spur. Access to the monument would be gained by going past it on the A303 to the Longbarrow crossroads, and turning right and right again on existing roads, to the car park – which is indeed right next to the stones, but in a natural hollow that renders it invisible from them.

Go and support Heritage Action against the madness of purists!

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July 21, 2006

Sexy Ladies for your Aural Pleasure

I'm surprised Kim with his fine musical ear and his discerning taste in pulchritude hasn't done one of these top tens before so to get the ball rolling - I'm looking for your lists - here is my top ten women who sound sexy. This isn't about singers who are lustbuckets - note Jessica Simpson doesn't make the list, or women who are fine singers - none of the classical singers seem to quite deliver that toe curling horniness. And surprisingly a fine couple of my favourite female singers fail the test as well - k d lang and Michelle Shocked - I wonder if them being lesbians has an influence - maybe if they were naked wrestling in a paddling pool of jelly( (c) Mr NBC ) they might be more interesting. Billie Holliday, Aretha Franklin - wonderful, but not quite there..

My quick list:

1 Susanna Hoffs
2 Chrissie Hynde
3 Diana Ross
4 Debbie Harry
5 Olivia Newton-John
6 Whitney Houston
7 Bic Runga
8 Nina Simone
9 Suzi Quatro
10 Marc Bolan

What's yours?

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July 20, 2006

Classical Summer - letter to local paper - repost from last year

Sir, - Many of your readers may have been asking how this glorious summer compares with the other "classics." Most summer statistics confine themselves to June, July and August. This is too narrow a bracket, and the figures below are based on the period 16th May to 15th September.

Year . Mean Temp. Rainfall Hours of Sunshine Days rain fell Days Max Temp exceeds 80d.F. Sunless Days
1887 60.2 6.63 800* 40 9 9*
1893 59.3 7.54 736 41 16 3
1899 59.0 7.42 934 28 17 0
1911 60.8 3.82 962 26 32 6
1921 59.3 4.82 824 29 19 4
1933 60.2 7.40 871 38 15 2
1934 59.0 6.66 882 40 9 3
1940 58.3 5.20 901 42 6 4
1947 61.3 5.07 842 43 26 3
1949 60.8 5.74 950 35 19 3
1959 58.9 6.11 936 36 15 5

* Approximately
I have balanced these scores in two different ways. By each method 1911 comes out top, and 1947 second. There is little to choose between 1899, 1921, 1949 and 1959 for third place. We have no sunshine figures for 1868, but it would appear to have been as good as those four years.
Some will think that if a summer is to be pleasant, rather than record-breaking, we can suppose that there must be at least 900 hours of sunshine, but not too many very hot days and not too much drought.
The years that must be considered in this connection are 1899, 1911, 1949, 1947 and 1959. Of these 1911 was certainly too hot and probably 1949 and 1947 also; moreover these were too dry, and the choice would seem to lie between 1899 and 1959.
Yours faithfully, Reginald Jennings, Marlborough College
(Probably written in 1959)

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In the doghouse

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I was sent out to take some photos of the eldest Englishette taking part in a procession down the street - this was photo number three - the camera must have slipped...

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July 19, 2006

Sorry for the short break

My net connection is up and down like Rosie's draws - normal service tomorrow - maybe.

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July 17, 2006

For your viewing pleasure

When you have tired of Kim's The Shooting Trail Diary a kind reader has pointed me in the direction of these videos - and of course when you view one it always leads onto other suggestions:

See below the fold!


Sheer Poetry!


Yum!


Don't mess with Granny



Santa - If I'm really good, please...

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July 12, 2006

They are Ginger and from Wales - what's not to like?

Ginger Welsh Porkers.gif
We only manged to catch five of the little rascals but they are happily at home now - still looking for names - with their snouts in the trough I'm sure they remind me of someone; Neil, Glynis - they are good Welsh names. There is a runty one I think is going to be called Levy, a fat bullying one - John and that leaves one other girl - maybe Rosie?

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July 10, 2006

Linky Love

blogall
A courtesy service supplied by precise-media: links, daily blog overview, early morning newspaper summary ....

Looks interesting - one to watch!

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July 7, 2006

The truth about blog visitor numbers.

Many years ago on a galaxy far away I founded an Internet business - after a little while I discovered an interesting metric for our business. For every 100 visitors to our website 20 downloaded our trial software, of those twenty, five then bought it - which gave us an income of 500. Therefore every visitor was worth 5 to us. I quickly moved into the role of Marketing Guru and web expert and kept pumping those visitor numbers up. When we went to ask those very nice men in the city for a few million quid I would wave the graph about and say look - I can keep the numbers rising through my magic understanding of Google and ker-ching will go the cash register. Of course it all went wrong soon after they handed us a cheque but that is another story.
But I do know about measuring visitor numbers and the tools are a load of rubbish inconsistent - (the men in the braces never asked me to justify the numbers).
As an example Verve Hosting who host this blog give you three programs to analyse your stats - I also have Sitemeter running and Google measures it through Adsense and Analytics.
So let's compare the figures for the last seven days:

Sitemeter: 4368 Visits 6636 Pages
Google Adsense 5988 Pages
Google Analytics 3754 Visits 5535 Pages

(The latter may be disadvantaged as its counting script is the last to load and the page may have hung before then.)

But reading from the server logs:
Webalyser 25648 Visits 54724 Pages - Wow!
Awstats 9503 Visits 24520 Pages
Analog 27678 Pages

I seem to remember when I was doing presentations as to how great I was at growing traffic I used Webalyser.

So just remember when you see any blogger boasting about traffic numbers - they are wrong - they are just an indicator...

(And the new counter on the right is the total visits so far recorded by the Server- a prize for when it hits a million!)

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July 5, 2006

My top ten eleven hates today

Builders who think they know better than their clients - "I didn't think you would want those expensive taps so I got these from Jewsons, only 1.49" - and they are bloody broken a year later. Compared to what you charge by the hour goldfeckingplated ones would be cheaper than replacing them.

Nailing things to trees - I might make an exception for some politicians but otherwise don't put nails in trees unless you want a four inch one through the wrist.

Dirty cups left on the left of sinks. - Right hand side for dirty stuff, please!

Blokes standing at the bar not knowing what they are going to order. If you haven't worked out what the hell you want to drink, and who you are buying for, stand aside and let me through.

Amateur drunks.

Women fumbling for money in their bags - Darling why is it such a huge flipping surprise to you that the checkout girl is going to want paying - is it the first time that you have been let out shopping on your own?

Hanging thick socks on washing lines - that crunchy feeling as you put the peg on - ughh.

Kids calling their parents by the parents name - When the little bleeder is a coked up asbo scrounger on the settee then they might start regretting it.

Kids calling me by my first name - It is either Mr or Uncle ( if I have given you sweeties) otherwise join the queue to be one of the twelve people I allow to call me by my first name - OK brat.

Telephones

People answering the telephone by saying - "Hello" or "It's me" - Give me a facking clue as to who you are - "Hello, this is Tracey, how can I help?" or is that too hard for your peroxided brain to remember?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:26 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

July 1, 2006

And the winner is

Hottest chilli.jpg
Geoff Baker for the hottest and the best veggie chilli - the fag ash adds a certain something to the mix.

And Mr FM won the overall champion prize based on the common vote - which he oversaw...

Congratulations to all the prize winners and thanks to everyone - see you again next year.

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Cooking!

cookoff.jpg
Its hot hot hot!

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The Great Chilli Cook off

All is ready for today's great Chilli Cook-off - except perhaps the pub chef's entry. He ordered some Red Chillies and some green ones from his suppliers in his broad Scottish accent. They sent back a message that they didn't have any green ones and had substituted some extra red ones. So he ended up with a double quantity of Red Cherries - should be interesting!

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June 30, 2006

It's going to be hot!

Chilli cookoff small.jpg

See you there!

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June 5, 2006

The Great South West Chilli Cook Off

FREE MARKET FAIRY TALES ANNOUNCES!

The Great South West Chilli Cook Off
Help Required - OK, so it was late on Friday night or more correctly, early on Saturday morning. The pub was still full of stout bulldogs & gentlemans refreshments had been taken when we came up with the idea of a Chilli Cook Off in the pub garden in a months time. What more could you want for - a*se rattling chilli accompanied with pints of finest foaming.
This of course brings me to this mornings request, your humble correspondent needs a killer recipe for the Napalm Death Chilli from Hell. Any ideas?

And if you have any ideas for me as well that would be great - otherwise see you there!

Chilli cookoff small.jpg

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June 3, 2006

Shades of Dorneywood

croquet lawn.jpg
It is time to get the croquet lawn rolled ready for a long hot afternoon. Bloody hard work these old Victorian rollers - I know one fat fucker who I bet never sweated rolling the lawn at Dorneywood - it would have been a much better way for him to work off some of that surplus energy. My advice, stick to the gardening, it is much safer...

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June 2, 2006

Another hard day at the office

hard day at the office.jpg
I had a long text to read and absorb this afternoon so it was out to the Dew pond in the garden with a cold drink, the MP3 player and Blackberry and the new boat to relax in. Two hours of relaxing study! If only it was always like this..

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May 30, 2006

You spoil me Mr Ambassador.

Pensioner Slams Good Samaritans Unfair Booking (from This Is Wiltshire)

WILTON pensioner Elizabeth McIntosh has slammed Salisbury district council for refusing to waive a parking ticket sent to a young woman who was booked while she was helping Mrs McIntosh after she fell down.
Mrs McIntosh, who is 84 and lives in Saddlers Mead, Wilton, is furious that Dominique Sampson has been told by the council she will have to appeal against a parking fine levied on her for stopping her car on the side of North Street, in Wilton, while she rushed to help Mrs McIntosh.
Miss Sampson was told by council officials that they could not waive the charge because there was no "documentary evidence" and that she should appeal to an independent adjudicator.

Of course in Salisbury they don't have traffic wardens, they have "traffic ambassadors" - maybe she should have offered him so Ferrero Roche. I presume that is to make them sound cuddly and welcoming to visitors to the city. That great hero Neil Herron shows where Salisbury was slipping up before - maybe they have this time.
Much as I like Salisbury any city that for many years had the Traitor Ted Heath living with a few yards of a suitable City Gate, and failed to decorate a spike on it with his head has got to be suspect.

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May 29, 2006

Time to dig out the old Nugger Hunting Spear

Hunts could end rise of wild boar - Newspaper Edition - Times Online

The return of boar hunting as a sport to help the rural economy in Britain is given a boost today after a government consultation.

About 80 per cent of people and countryside organisations have said that they are in favour of wild boar being killed to protect human safety and prevent damage to native plants such as bluebells..

Some advice -

For pig-sticking there are two requisites in addition to the piga fast, steady horse, and a good hog spear. The Nugger Hunt spear-head, which is now generally used in India, is shaped somewhat like a myrtle leaf, with long slight curves from point to shank, so that it can be easily withdrawn, as well as easily driven home. A four-edged spear-head is also sometimes used, but as it is difficult to sharpen, it is not much liked. Of course the spear-head is made of the best quality of steel, and its edges ought to be sharp enough to shave with, in case any lunatic should desire to put it to such a use.

The spear shaft is a stout male bamboo about nine feet long, with the butt weighted with lead so as to balance the weight of the spear-head. The veteran pig-sticker is particular to have his bamboo cut at night, and at the time of the new moon; in which case it is his belief that it will not yield to dry-rot. This is a native superstition and perhaps strikes an Englishman, whose sisters make a point to cut their hair only at the change of the moon, as a rather respectable superstition which it can do no harm to adopt.

Armed with this weapon, and well mounted, the pig-sticker rides off, sometimes alone, but usually with a gay company of pig-sticking brother officers, and halts on the border of the jungle while the native beaters drive the inhabitants of the jungle down toward the hunters. The master of the hunt posts the sportsmen here and there in pairs so that each hunter has an especial rival, against whom he is pitted and whom he must, if possible, forestall in spearing the hog. When the line of spearmen is in readiness the beaters advance, usually with shouts and the beating of torn-toms. Presently one of them sounds a horn, and the hunters then know that the game has been started. A little later, and out from the jungle marches the sounder, led by the patriarchal boar. When the master of the hunt considers that the game has had a fair start in advance of the hunters, he sounds his bugle, and the horsemen, with poised spears, bear down upon the devoted boar, which bounds away with a speed more worthy of an antelope than a pig.

The one great secret of success in pig-sticking is to ride straight after the pig with all the speed that your horse can muster. The pig must be blown within the first two miles, or else he performs the curious respiratory feat known as getting his second wind, in which case the chances are that he will outrun the horse, and squeak derision at the baffled hunter.

As Baden-Powell said:

A BRUTAL SPORT
You who sit at home will naturally condemn it. But again I say, like the drunkard to the parson, try it before you judge.
See how the horse enjoys it, see how the boar himself, mad with rage, rushes wholeheartedly into the scrap, see how you, with your temper thoroughly roused, enjoy the opportunity of wreaking it to the full
Yes, hog-hunting is a brutal sport--and yet I loved it, as I loved also the fine old fellow I fought against. I cannot pretend that I am not inconsistent. But are many of us entirely consistent ? Do what we will and say what we like, although we have a veneer of civilisation, the primitive man's instincts are still not far below the surface. Murder will out. Did we not see it in all its horridness in the War ?
But apparently the Churches recognised the fact; at any rate one does not remember that they made any attempt to stop us killing our fellow-men, our fellow-Christians.
Until we get our education upon a more spiritual foundation instead of being content with mere academical scholarship, more of character training than standard of knowledge, we shell only have the veneer.

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May 23, 2006

Come on in and draw up a stool, mine's a pint.

News in Brief - Newspaper Edition - Times Online

Countryside visits
"Country entrepreneurs" are to be trained to give black, Asian, disabled and young people a warmer welcome. The move is part of a 25 million campaign to persuade these groups to visit rural areas after Countryside Agency research suggested that they feared exclusion from close-knit communities.

25 million! How do I get some of that? It is the old story if you respect the locals then they will welcome you, whoever you are; if you parachute your views and attitudes in then there may be a small hint of frost in the air.
I wonder if there are similar grants to make us country boys welcome in the big cities. Last time I was up in the smoke it cost me a lot of money following that nice ladies advice of how to make myself more comfortable.

I was talking to old Don in the pub about how we only had a few non-whites in the village nowdays and he recalled how there used to be more blacks in the village when he was young, and that they looked lovely in livery. And that he wasn't alone in having a young black boy as his best friend in those far off halcyon days, tickling for trout, stealing apples, all the usual stuff boys used to get up to, in fact it fair broke his heart when they had to sell him....

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May 22, 2006

New Arrival

I walked round this morning to see what damage the deer are doing to my new hedges and surprised a deer who had just given birth to two fawns. As the dog chased the mother off I have just been back to check she had returned and they were OK.
fawn.gif
Aaaaah!

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May 18, 2006

Whoops nearly forgot! Postal shoot results.

I promised the results to An English Gentleman's Bulldog Postal Shoot today.

Bit rushed as I've got other things tod o but the winner is this group - this email from a bunch of students made it all worthwhile:

"shot at Bisley on the Melville range last Wednesday by members of the Reading University Pistol and Rifle club. We left the bolts for the .22 target rifles at home so we were forced to shoot with very battered .357 underlevers with open sights. To hit the middle we had to aim off by about a foot as no one could be bothered to work out to reset the sights. Richard Gee is a new member. His entry is his first ever shoot with a real rifle (as opposed to an air rifle).

We shoot at Bisley every Wednesday afternoon during term time."

He might not have quite scored the highest but I think the assembled multitude would vote that Richard and Flic (the highest scorer) share the beer tokens - come and get them!

Shooting 1.gif
Shooting 3.gif

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May 17, 2006

On this day...in 1943, 1955 and 1993

(As Mr FM seems not to have posted an "On this day" entry today I thought I ought to fill the gap.)

The Royal Air Force - History Section 1943 - Operation CHASTISE...

And the film of it - "The Dam Busters" premiered on 16th/17th May 1955

And in 1993 I nearly got banned from the quiz league by posing the question "Whose Nigger died 50 years ago tonight?" (Scarlett O'Hara was the most popular, though wrong, answer!)

All together now - DA DADA DA DA DA DA-DA DA DADA DA DA DAH DADA........

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May 13, 2006

Something to do this weekend

I don't know much about garden design but I agree with the dictum laid down by one of the Rothschilds - "However small your garden is you should have at least quarter of an acre of native woodland in it". Even if you aren't lucky enough to be able to follow that advice this is the weekend where you should follow Benjamin Disraeli's example. Every year on this weekend he went back to his beloved Chilterns and took some time out to lie down under some beech trees and marvel at the freshest, brightest green of their newly minted leaves.

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May 11, 2006

David Miliband - An Apology

Like Boris has discovered today I can claim that "I am a farmer. Yes, folks, I am a Tibullan agricola." However unlike him I got my subsidy claim form in on time. In previous posts I may have mistakenly given the impression that Defra and David Miliband were suitable subjects for derision and disrespect. I would like to apologise for that erroneous attitude and repent. In fact everytime I see a picture of David Miliband I want to kiss his little rosy cheeks, tickle him under the chin, ruffle his hair and cover him in baby oil. He's lovely.
In other unconnected news my interim Single Farm Payment cheque arrived yesterday; my children can be shod and the wife fed.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:40 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 7, 2006

Support Denmark

INDEX www.stengun.dk

The purpose of www.stengun.dk is to show the effort the Danish Resistance made during the German occupation of Denmark 1940 - 1945. They produced more than 1000 copies of the British submachinegun STENgun. This incredible achievement raised moral standards as well as it met the acute demand for weapons. In Copenhagen were established several illegal weapon factories, and they produced new weapons as well as repaired old ones. They too made caltrops and handgrenades - all at a very high risk.

I'm pleased that they now have an English version of the site - the story is one that is well worth reading and publicising.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:55 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 4, 2006

Putting up fences in the hot sun

Getting warm
I wonder if there are any jobs for a fencing expert in Texas?

64380353.jpg
Image taken on 4/5/2006 10:24

Posted by The Englishman at 9:28 AM | Comments (3)

Bring it on

Telegraph | News
Global warming a fact (Headline)

Telegraph | News | Most of Britain will enjoy hottest day of year so far

Well it is drizzling here so rather than read this blather I'm off out to finish assembling my Lidl Patio Heater in the hope of drinks on the terrace tonight. I hope it works because it was very cheap for a gas burner, but it is German made and they should know about making this sort of thing, shouldn't they?

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May 3, 2006

Late Spring

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I put this photo up last year on 11th April - the plants this year have only just got past this stage now. As Numberwatch would say "a contribution to the BBCs valuable exercise in the art of Phenology" when it comes to the climate change debate.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:03 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 30, 2006

Get on moi Land

Wiltshire Wildlife Trust - Sarsen Trail is on today, several thousand people walking through the Castle's environs. Good luck to them, unfortunately I can't do the 26 miles this year as I have to go to some happy clappy baby dunking this afternoon - deep joy.

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April 18, 2006

A date with Google

Last month I spent some time looking for an online calendar program as the only reason I was using the horrible Outlook was for its calendar - and look one has just arrived: Google Calendar.
So far very impressed.

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April 17, 2006

No more trees please.

The Adam Smith Institute releases a thought provoking addition to the planning debate. Quite rightly it suggests that there is far too much farmland and it would improve life all round if it had houses on it, but not crammed in as is the present trend, but spread out in true suburban style. But i must take issue with one point, it says:

"monoculture wastelands ugly to look at,...If some of these were converted to sympathetic development consisting mostly of woodland"

Oh Dear! Yet again the latent Tree Worship that flourished in Germany in the 1920s raises it ugly head. The joys of Aryan youth prancing through the Black Forest gave rise to two ugly movements, the more long lasting, and potentially more destructive one, being the Extreme Environmentalists that plague us today. England is a pastoral country, with sweeping open downlands, lush green meadows, wide open moors - all boring monochromatic landscapes to some, but to others sheer beauty. If Mischa Balen, the author, doesn't have time to leave the smoky environs of Tufton Street may I suggest a quick appreciation course of the works of Mark Rothko to give an urban insight into the beauty us country boys see every day.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:38 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 16, 2006

Happy Easter from a bright sunny England


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The view from my window taken on 16/4/2006 9:18

Home Thoughts, From Abroad
Robert Browning

Oh, to be in England
Now that Aprils there,
And whoever wakes in England
Sees, some morning, unaware,
That the lowest boughs and the brushwood sheaf
Round the elm-tree bole are in tiny leaf,
While the chaffinch sings on the orchard bough
In Englandnow!

And after April, when May follows,
And the whitethroat builds, and all the swallows!
Hark, where my blossomed pear-tree in the hedge
Leans to the field and scatters on the clover
Blossoms and dewdropsat the bent sprays edge
Thats the wise thrush; he sings each song twice over,
Lest you should think he never could recapture
The first fine careless rapture!
And though the fields look rough with hoary dew,
All will be gay when noontide wakes anew
The buttercups, the little childrens dower
Far brighter than this gaudy melon-flower!

On the stone in the picture there is engraved:

Contemplate a tangled bank,
clothed with many plants of many kinds,
with birds singing on the bushes,
with various insects flitting about,
and
with worms crawling through the damp earth:
these elaborately constructed forms
have all been produced by laws
acting around us.
Thus, the war of nature,
from famine and death,
the production of higher animals
directly follows.
There is grandeur in this view of life:
whilst the planet has gone
cycling on according to
the fixed law of gravity,
from so simple a beginning
endless forms most beautiful and
most wonderful have been
and are being
evolved.

- Charles Darwin

Posted by The Englishman at 8:14 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

April 14, 2006

What now for Easter Lunch?

BBC NEWS | England | Wiltshire | Swan shot over 'bird flu fears'

A healthy swan which was shot at least nine times in the chest may have been targeted because of concerns over bird flu, wildlife rescuers said.

Bird flu worries! Bollocks - I had the large roasting pan ready, just a bloody poor shot, I suppose it will have to be Lamb again.....

ROAST SWAN
Take a swan and prepare it and put it on to roast until it is all cooked, then make a paste of eggs, as clear as paper, and pour it on the said swan while turning the spit so that the paste cooks on it, and be careful that no wings or thighs be broken, and put the swan's neck as though it were swimming in water, and to keep it in this position, you must put a skewer in its head which will rest between the two wings, passing all other, until it holds the neck firm, and another skewer below the wings, and another between the thighs, and another close to the feet and at each foot three to spread the foot: and when it is well cooked and well gilded with the paste, take out the skewers, except that in the neck, then make a terrace of whole-wheat pastry, which should be thick and strong, and which is one fist thick, made with nice fluting all around, and let it be two feet long, and a foot and a half broad, or a little more, then cook it without boiling, and have it painted green like a grassy meadow, and gild your swan with a skin of silver, except for about two fingers width around the neck, which is not gilded, and the beak and the feet, then have a flying cloak, which should be of crimson sendal on the inside, and emblazon the top of said cloak with whatever arms you wish, and around the swan have banners, the sticks two and a half feet long with banners of sendal, emblazon with whatever arms you wish, and put all in a dish the size and shape of the terrace, and present it to whomever you wish.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:56 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

April 12, 2006

Also known as...

http://www.buggerthe.eu

Posted by The Englishman at 7:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 7, 2006

Turn out time

Lambs enjoying their first time out in the sun
Dont forget you can adopt one for meat
636D0069.jpg
Image taken on 7/4/2006 14:50

Posted by The Englishman at 2:53 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

March 30, 2006

From the family archives

macgill patent 05.jpg
Many years ago Father-in-Law had a patent for a new Hand Gun mechanism granted - I know some of you will interested, and if anyone knocks some up please let me know as it never was made - shame!

View Page 1
View Page 2
View Page 3
View Page 4


Posted by The Englishman at 7:33 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 24, 2006

She's back home, running around and arguing with her sister - fingers still crossed.- And thanks for the messages!

I just cant help believin
When she smiles up soft and gentle
With a trace of misty morning
And the promise of tomorrow in her eyes

I just cant help believin
When shes lying close beside me
And my heart beats with the rhythm of her sighs
This time the girl is gonna stay
This time the girl is gonna stay
For more than just a day

Oh, I just cant help believin
When she slips her hand in my hand
And it feels so small and helpless
As my fingers fold around it like a glove

I just cant help believin
When shes whispering her magic
And her tears are shining honey sweet with love
This time the girl is gonna stay
This time the girl is gonna stay
For more than just a day
For more than just a day

(words & music by b.j. thomas)

Posted by The Englishman at 7:36 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

March 21, 2006

Danger UXB - in my kitchen cupboard..

The Lyle's Black Treacle treacle 1.jpg
has this fearsome warning on it,
treacle warning.jpg
and the "Best Before" date seems a while ago,
treacle best.jpg

Oh, what to do? Any suggestions?

Posted by The Englishman at 9:12 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

March 14, 2006

March 14th - Today's the day!

steak_bj.jpg
Steak and Blowjob Day

See below for a picture of what I'm hoping for!

steak.jpg

Posted by The Englishman at 12:38 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

An apology to those very nice people of Pewsey

Just looking through my Activity logs on this site I notice that a lot of people are interested in what I have said about Pewsey (see below), I'm just a tad worried that maybe when I go shopping there I might meet someone I have upset - sorry it was just light hearted jesting...everyone in Pewsey really is normal and jolly nice and hospitable..
In fact I broke down just outside Pewsey one night and an old farmer was so hospitable he even invited me in for a cup of tea whilst I waited for a breakdown truck - "Come in," he said, "meet my wife and sister." And she was really kind as well.

Date IP Address Log Message
2006.02.16 23:05:35 86.141.150.235 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.16 23:06:34 216.22.32.116 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.16 23:17:12 62.255.32.14 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.16 23:18:25 82.32.117.254 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.16 23:35:29 129.128.117.84 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.16 23:57:03 62.254.0.48 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 00:32:48 66.249.66.39 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 00:51:25 64.168.222.200 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 02:50:15 195.137.13.17 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 02:56:47 68.184.39.132 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 03:09:48 70.86.78.226 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 05:38:35 82.80.249.202 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 06:37:45 196.31.141.163 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 07:19:49 82.69.32.35 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 08:52:32 81.7.38.219 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 08:53:37 168.209.98.66 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 08:57:26 203.87.119.252 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 09:09:41 217.154.21.194 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 09:35:00 217.204.91.166 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 09:36:32 195.93.21.71 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 09:47:56 57.66.51.74 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 09:58:26 80.4.224.8 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 10:08:21 62.254.0.48 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 10:54:07 131.111.117.141 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 12:17:42 80.3.64.11 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 13:09:31 84.67.24.61 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 14:52:46 152.119.136.2 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 14:57:05 213.52.212.129 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 15:21:09 217.250.160.162 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 16:47:41 64.12.116.11 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 19:15:21 24.1.86.13 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 19:18:31 84.68.148.85 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 20:01:47 82.42.155.167 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 20:04:51 82.42.155.167 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 20:05:39 82.42.155.167 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.17 23:58:44 86.136.52.253 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.18 00:05:05 38.118.42.36 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.18 00:36:43 66.249.66.70 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.18 01:53:45 71.197.56.228 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.18 02:10:25 207.159.110.215 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.18 08:48:49 86.134.167.187 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.18 11:14:29 86.134.167.187 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.18 11:39:39 172.216.128.249 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.18 12:57:28 211.100.29.23 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.18 13:41:47 60.224.222.45 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.18 13:52:51 82.33.132.136 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.18 13:52:53 82.33.132.136 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.18 14:20:43 88.107.181.204 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.18 16:51:59 86.128.116.62 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.18 23:57:09 128.194.135.86 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.19 02:32:09 68.18.219.175 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.19 11:55:39 62.255.32.14 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.19 15:24:20 81.129.40.17 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.19 21:42:02 87.112.71.240 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.19 23:54:48 86.131.66.60 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.20 00:22:06 82.33.132.136 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.20 00:22:07 82.33.132.136 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.20 06:05:49 71.197.56.228 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.20 08:12:54 86.209.195.9 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.20 08:39:37 193.239.220.249 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.20 10:01:35 62.254.0.48 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.20 19:49:10 66.249.66.70 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.21 04:03:55 63.241.61.7 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.21 08:31:06 220.233.31.17 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.22 13:42:28 66.249.65.129 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.22 23:37:28 82.33.132.136 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.22 23:37:29 82.33.132.136 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.23 09:54:24 65.19.154.20 Search: query for 'pewsey'
2006.02.23 09:54:25 65.19.154.20 Search: query for 'pewsey'
2006.02.23 13:45:20 66.249.65.129 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.23 14:11:12 82.33.132.136 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.23 14:11:13 82.33.132.136 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.23 15:26:44 65.55.246.115 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.23 16:51:26 65.54.164.46 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.24 01:40:32 66.249.65.129 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.24 02:55:47 65.19.154.20 Search: query for 'pewsey'
2006.02.24 02:55:48 65.19.154.20 Search: query for 'pewsey'
2006.02.25 01:46:52 66.249.65.129 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.25 02:33:22 38.113.234.181 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.25 23:43:51 38.113.205.43 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.26 01:45:36 66.249.65.173 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.26 02:31:02 65.92.47.164 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.26 02:31:56 65.92.47.164 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.26 08:09:18 207.127.235.113 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.26 12:01:49 207.127.235.113 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.02.26 12:12:42 72.5.115.37 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.03.03 13:13:09 64.12.144.141 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.03.04 02:58:14 66.249.65.178 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.03.05 03:52:11 66.150.55.230 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2006.03.05 16:25:28 66.151.181.4 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
4 days, 22 hours ago 70.42.51.10 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
4 days, 11 hours ago 210.173.180.159 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
3 days, 20 hours ago 66.249.65.179 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
3 days, 10 hours ago 64.12.144.141 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
2 days, 13 hours ago 86.136.230.40 Search: query for 'pewsey'
2 days, 1 hour ago 193.47.80.38 Search: query for 'Pewsey'
1 day, 18 hours ago 87.113.75.249 Search: query for 'Pewsey'

Posted by The Englishman at 9:02 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Tales from the Tap Room

So we gathered at the Pub last night and with a Welshman present we soon got onto Bill, our local farmer, and his Adopt a Sheep For Meat website - hurry up and do it as soon there will only be the ugly ones left.
The other day Bill came into the pub after a long day of rounding up his sheep on the Downs above the village.
Old Ray looked up from his pint and said "Funny name that is for a dog."
Bill: "What?"
"Could hear you calling your sheepdog from all round the village. My Missus noted it as well, as I said, a strange name for a dog that is."
"What name?"

"Cunt"

Posted by The Englishman at 7:30 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 9, 2006

Keep on rocking in the free world

suzi.jpg
February 2006 saw the release of a new Suzi Quatro CD entitled "Back To The Drive"
I hope it was worth her braving my geese to get to the recording studio next door to The Castle, my order is in for a copy, and I hope to see her here again soon.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:56 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 8, 2006

Kennet Council Tax

Kennet Times Spring 2006 from Kennet Council

Where does your money go...?
by Cllr. Chris Humphries,
Leader of the Council

As Leader of Kennet District Council, residents sometimes ask me: What do we get for our money from Kennet.
It occurs to me that many of you may be asking yourselves the same question so, on the following pages, are some facts and
figures about what we do....
Refuse and Recycling services - 32p per week
Street Scene services - 23p
Environmental Health and Protection - 24p
Housing Services - 19p
Council-run Leisure Services - 39p
Planning Services - 22p
Transport services - 8p
Local taxation and benefits - 23p
Other services - 37p

If you were to add up all the council
taxes per week given in the tables you
would find that it totals just 2.27 per
week. I do not know what others will
think about this, but for me this represents
excellent value for money for all the
council tax payers in Kennet.

So Kennet provide all these services for a household for about 120 a year - (breakdown) The police cost about the same, and the firebrigade about 50 so what does Wiltshire County Council spend the 900 it mulcts from us on?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:55 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

March 7, 2006

Forget the Oscars - this is the big one.

FREE MARKET FAIRY TALES: The Bulldog Shooting Club 2006 Postal Shoot

The time of reckoning is nearly here, so get those cards in quickly - with my rhumey eye and tremensed fingers I stepped up to the mark last night and spluttered shots like sparrow farts all over the target. So I'm not putting forward my targets from last night, instead here is one I prepared earlier, when there was a litle less blood in my alcohol stream and I was feeling more gruntled...

22.jpg

Posted by The Englishman at 7:15 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

March 3, 2006

It's friday afternoon - even in Sweden

Ole and Sven were out deer hunting in da northwoods. Sven shot a really
nice buck and Ole was helping him pull it out of the woods. They had a
rope tied to one of the hind legs and they were pulling and struggling,
going through the deep snow with the other three legs sticking out and
getting caught on every clump of brush and whatnot along the way.

About that time the Game Warden came along. After checking their
licenses, he said, "You know, it would be easier if you fellas tied the
rope to the antlers and pulled him from the other way. Then the legs
wouldn't get caught on everything."

Ole looked at Sven and said, "By golly, I tink he's right."

The Game Warden went on his way and Ole and Sven re-tied the rope to the
antlers and started pulling. It was a lot easier. After about twenty
minutes, Sven said, "Ole, dat Game Warden sure was right. Dis is a lot
easier, but aren't ve getting furder avay from da truck?"

Posted by The Englishman at 3:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 2, 2006

Finished.

Three months later and that is three Km of hedge planted
621B0009.jpg
Image taken on 2/3/2006 11:42

The start of the great hedge planting campaign - here

Posted by The Englishman at 11:43 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 28, 2006

Can we go home now - please?

george.gif
It is snowing, I'm cold and there isn't a bunny to chase anywhere....

Posted by The Englishman at 1:46 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Better go and cut those hedges today...

Cross Compliance - FAQs "you are not allowed to trim hedges from March 1st - 31st July"

So that will be me with the chainsaw rather than at the computer today!

Posted by The Englishman at 8:02 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

February 27, 2006

In Summary

Via every other blogger I bring you my word cloud:

aec.jpg

Oh and here is one for the old reprobate himself...

fmft.jpg


Posted by The Englishman at 6:52 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 25, 2006

An accidental Googlewack

obscurantism petrichor - Google Search

Curious to see who visitor 333,333 was I checked the stats and noticed visitor 333,334 was a decent sort of chap from Oxford University looking for "obscurantism petrichor" - and surprisingly this site was the only one that could cater to his or her need....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 23, 2006

Ava on Cbeebies - who is she?

Stuck indoors with a poorly toddler the only ray of joy is Ava on CBeebies
- a quick Google and no one seems to know who she is - surely someone must be able to help a sad old man increase his knowledge...

Posted by The Englishman at 3:43 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

February 19, 2006

A Bug in the System

On my little day out at Bisley I was embarrassed to have the Marlin jam on me twice - the very nice guys at Fulton's the Gunshop there sorted it out both times and I bought some degreaser (actually Clutch and Brake cleaner) as it seemed to be caused by a build up of gunk under the lever. Thanks to Google and Full Disassembly/Re-assembly Instructions for Marlin 1894 Lever Rifle and Carbine I have now sorted the problem. It was a bug. A housefly was in the mechanism - must have got into the cabinet and then settled in the dark workings. So now with bug cleared I really need to do some testing.....

Posted by The Englishman at 9:40 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 14, 2006

Great minds think alike - or fools seldom differ..

BlogCode.com - the weblog directory and recommendation tool - interesting new site - see the box on the right for an example of how it works.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:17 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping

Shopping List.jpg Aaargh Valentines Day! I better add some flowers to the list.... How do you get that petrol smell out of them from them sitting forlornly in that plastic bucket next to the four star pump??

I hope your shopping lists are more interesting.....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:56 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

February 10, 2006

Bulldog shoot

FREE MARKET FAIRY TALES is hosting the
The Bulldog Shooting Club 2006 Postal Shoot
Ok, after a lot of procrastination & general faffing about, at last here it is, an excuse (as if you needed one) to hit the range & get some trigger time. Yep, forget the Imperial Week at Bisley, this is more important ... its our 06 postal shoot....
Go and read the rules and join in.

For Bulldogs this side of the pond I am adding an extra class of entrant for those unable to be suitably tooled up. The Any Projectile Class - pencils launched by rubber band, bogies blown through Bic tubes, whatever!

Download target or
view the target - note ruler to ensure you print it out the right size! Right click link and choose "print" or save to your computer before printing.

Posted by The Englishman at 12:57 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 9, 2006

Monday Night Shooting links

Mr FM is busy organising a Postal Shoot so he wanted a list of my links - i thought others might enjoy a canter through what we get up to on Monday nights...

An Englishman's Castle: Centenary Year

An Englishman's Castle: Monday nights

An Englishman's Castle: Tonight's Job - Fix Bayonets!

An Englishman's Castle: Guns in Pubs

Posted by The Englishman at 7:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Might be a good day for a backup

BBC NEWS | Technology | Anti-cartoon protests go online....More than 900 Danish websites have suffered defacement during the wave of attacks, said Mr Preatoni. He added that a further 1600 Western sites have also been attacked and defaced as part of the same protest.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:45 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

February 8, 2006

More Video fun

Having been sent the Microsoft video below I thought I would try out "adding to page" and other goodies from Google Video. It is the easiest way to waste hours, typing in search queries and watching the videos, some are amazing - try AK-47, Texas, Toyota as three starters...

It gives a glimpse of what video on demand will be like and why the MSM TV stations must be worried....

Posted by The Englishman at 9:39 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 7, 2006

Achtung ankommend!

The German relatives have announced a surprise visit - I will try and avoid any faux-pas unlike last time!.
So I may be confined to barracks for this weekend, unless I can reopen Tom, Dick or Harry......

Posted by The Englishman at 7:49 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Friday Night Road Test

saab-landrover.jpg
I apologise this review has been delayed but I kept meaning to find out what model my Saab is, it's an estatey one but I don't know any more - does it disqualify me from doing a road test if I can't be arsed to find out?

In the blocks we have Mr FM's Land Rover vs Mr Englishman's Saab, late Friday night after the pub has closed.
Down the straight to the Canal Turn the Land Rover proves the advantage of four-wheel drive in getting away quicker, but the Saab benefits from a knowledge of the course and cuts in the corner quicker to get a lead. A lead that nearly is permanently lost as we splash through Foggy Bottom where the snipe breed - only sheer momentum keeps the two wheel drive going forward. neck and neck as we go for the 135 degree turn. The Saab is drifted round whereas there is an embarrassing breaking from the Land Rover as its grip yet again handicaps it and threatens a roll. Now it is a simple dash for home, passing the pole that nearly caused Mr NBC to lose sphincter control as we skidded towards it on a previous Friday. Mr FM claims he reached 65 mph but couldn't catch the Saab.
So there we have it - across country late at night the Saab is the winner. Of course the Land Rover was seriously compromised by having a sober driver, a disgraceful state of affairs; and also if Mrs FM had been driving it would have been a different story.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:11 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 5, 2006

Book of the Week

Silverfin: A James Bond Adventure an excellent boys yarn by Charlie Higson - written for young teenagers but if you enjoy The 39 Steps and other Buchanesque adventures you will enjoy this.
Can't wait to read the second one in the series as soon as the Young man has finished with it.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:13 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 31, 2006

15 milliseconds of fame

Inside Out - West:
Wiltshire - the only place on the planet where you can get a Pint and a chance to shoot old rifles at the same time, or something...
Our little ten minute slot about the The Devizes and District miniature rifle league - with fleeting shots of Mr FM and myself was fair enough, no stitch up as some feared.


Posted by The Englishman at 6:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 29, 2006

T- Shirt Update

An Englishman's Castle: Your favourite T Shirt
Still time to send your pictures in!

Posted by The Englishman at 9:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 24, 2006

Up and down like Jodie Marsh's Drawers

Sorry BT Broadband has been misbehaving all day, so I never got to finish my piece about the hysterical reaction to the possible upset to a couple of curlew that might be avoided by spending 200 million (and that is not an exaggeration of the numbers involved.) Nor could those half crafted witticisms about the Media frenzy about Wally the Whale being a PODcast (Pod - group of whales, geddit, oh never mind) or the documents on Mr Oaten being a LOGfile ( A Log being slang for, no, forget it..) or even how strange it was the only day a whale died in London was the only day the Family FM goes to London. So many missed pearls, but tomorrow I hope to be back to normal.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:48 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 23, 2006

Proud to be a Klownden des Internets

As the leading blog for German humour I am little put out to discover the Germans are doing it themselves now - all because some PR guy complained they were ripping the piss out of the "Du bist Deutschland" loveyfest....

SCHOLZ .. jens scholz .. .. .. proud part of the "Klownde des Internets" (Jean-Remy von Matt) ..

Das Ziel: Die Miesepetrigkeit bekmpfen.

Der Dank: Miesepetrigkeit. Glcklicherweise nur von den Gruppen, von denen man nichts besseres erwarten konnte:

The aim: to fight grumpyness.
The thanks: grumpyness. Which, fortunately, came only from the groups you wouldn't expect anything else from:
....

2. Von den Weblogs, den Klownden des Internets. (Was berechtigt eigentlich jeden Computerbesitzer, ungefragt seine Meinung abzusondern? Und die meisten Blogger sondern einfach nur ab. Dieser neue Tiefststand der Meinungsbildung wird deutlich, wenn man unter www.technorati.com eingibt: Du bist Deutschland.)

2. Weblogs, the toilet walls of the internet. (What on earth gives every computer owner the right to exude their opinion, unasked for? And most bloggers really just exude. This new, lowest level of opinion-forming becomes evident when you search for "Du bist Deutschland" on www.technorati.com.)

Hat tip - Drinking From Home: Du bist Deutschland

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January 21, 2006

The Australian Papers report - from a reader.

Bio-Terrorism Rocks London

By Special Correspondent Harry Lord.
21. Jan 2006

Londoners woke this morning with a sigh of immense relief knowing that Scotland Yards boys in blue have yet again covered themselves with well deserved glory.

Hot on the heels of the radical Terrorist Group, Fathers 4 Justices plot to kidnap little Leo, The House of Commons was packed for an Emergency Sitting at 5 am to hear how the Prime Minister, The Right Honourable Tony Blah, had personally directed the action at the soon to be notorious Pig and Apple pub in Devizes, previously famed only for its scrumpy.

SWAT teams from four counties were on the scene in helicopters within minutes of a sinister figure at a table in the snug, believed to be a father, uttering the threat a pox on all their houses. Patrons were herded into the car park after smoke and shock bombs were tossed into the main bar amid awed imbibers.

Landlord, Jim Elfixit said Oi didnt even ave toim to cawl larst orders. His heavy west country brogue and middle-eastern sounding name was enough to arouse suspicion and he was bundled into a daddy-wagon and is believed to being held somewhere in Paddington. He is the only person being held at present, but a Police Spokesman said we are following leads. There are a lot of fathers in Devizes

A helmeted figure was seen escaping on horse-back across the fields minutes later, stopping only to pluck a few apples in a nearby orchard. The helicopters sent in pursuit failed to find him.

Forensic scientists were flown in from Tasmania as part of the Australian Prime Minister, Mr John Howards aid to his ally in the War on Terror and are examining droppings in a five mile radius. Mr Howard told a group of reporters from the Australian ABC, who flew with the scientists, that Australia has fathers too. He spoke to them by phone from Kirrabillie.

The pub was destroyed shortly after by members of a nearby Tank Regiment as a precaution.

PM Blah dangled his son Leo on his knee as he told reporters that "Leo can sleep safely knowing his Daddy's workplace has safe employment practices".

To make sure his message reached into the heartland of terrorism and that he, personally was leading the efforts, he announced, "My fax machine and mobile phone nearly melted. I will be introducing New and Radical Measures in the coming weeks to cover the phone bills. It just has to be done. We cant have proper fathers, like me, financially disadvantaged." Mr Howard concurred.

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January 18, 2006

Scenes from An Englishman's Kitchen

olive oil.gif A pre-Elizabeth David bottle of Olive Oil - only available from Chemists - 2 1/2 fl oz (half used) "a fine mild oil for kitchen or table" alongside, for scale, a pound pack of Dripping (half used).

I know someone who will be horrified!

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January 17, 2006

Homeward bound

The Curfew tolls the knell of parting day,
The lowing herd winds slowly o'er the lea,
The ploughman homeward plods his weary way,
And leaves the world to darkness and to me.

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Image taken on 17/1/2006 16:54

For thousands of years farmworkers have followed this track from up on the Downs to the farmstead below - you can just see the welcoming lights below the tractor - it seemed to me this is the continuity of England I love.

Now fades the glimmering landscape on the sight,
And all the air a solemn stillness holds,
Save where the beetle wheels his droning flight,
And drowsy tinklings lull the distant folds.


Save that from yonder ivy-mantled tower,
The moping owl does to the moon complain,
Of such as wand'ring near her secret bower,
Molest her ancient solitary reign.


Beneath those rugged elms, that yew-tree's shade,
Where heaves the turf in many a mould'ring heap,
Each in his narrow cell for ever laid,
The rude forefathers of the hamlet sleep.


The breezy call of incense-breathing morn,
The swallow twittering from the straw-built shed,
The cock's shrill clarion, and the echoing horn,
No more shall rouse them from their lowly bed.


For them no more the blazing hearth shall burn,
Or busy housewife ply her evening care,
No children run to lisp their Sire's return,
Nor climb his knees the envied kiss to share.


Oft did the harvest to their sickle yield,
Their furrow oft the stubborn glebe has broke,
How jocund did they drive their team afield,
How bowed the woods beneath their sturdy stoke!


Let not ambition mock their useful toil,
Their homely joys and destiny obscure,
Nor grandeur hear with a disdainful smile,
The short and simple annals of the poor.


The boast of heraldry, the pomp of power,
And all that beauty, all that wealth e'er gave,
Awaits alike th'inevitable hour,
The paths of glory lead but to the grave.


Nor you, ye proud, impute to these the fault,
If mem'ry o'er their tomb no trophies raise,
Where, through the long-drawn aisle and fretted vault,
The pealing anthem swells the note of praise.


Can storied urn, or animated bust,
Back to its mansion call the fleeting breath?
Can honour's voice provoke the silent dust,
Or flattery soothe the dull cold ear of death?


Perhaps in this neglected spot is laid,
Some heart once pregnant with celestial fire,
Hands, that the rod of empire might have sway'd,
Or waked to ecstasy the living lyre.


But knowledge to their eyes her ample page,
Rich with the spoils of time did ne'er unroll,
Chill penury repress'd their noble rage,
And froze the genial current of the soul.


Full many a gem of purest ray serene,
The dark unfathom'd caves of ocean bear,
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its sweetness on the desert air.


Some village Hampden, that with dauntless breast,
The little tyrant of his fields withstood,
Some mute inglorious Milton here may rest,
Some Cromwell, guiltless of his country's blood.


Th' applause of list'ning senates to command,
The treats of pain and ruin to despise,
To scatter plenty o'er a smiling land,
And read their hist'ry in a nation's eyes.


Their lot forbad: nor circumscribed alone,
Their growing virtues, but their crimes confined:
Forbad to wade through slaughter to a throne,
Or shut the gates of mercy on mankind.


The struggling pangs of conscious truth to hide,
To quench the blushes of ingenious shame,
Or heap the shrine of luxury and pride,
With incense, kindled at the muse's flame.


Far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife,
Their sober wishes never learn'd to stray;
Along the cool sequester'd vale of life,
They kept the noiseless tenour of their way.


Yet ev'n these bones from insult to protect,
Some frail memories still erected nigh,
With uncouth rhymes and shapeless sculpture deck'd,
Implores the passing tribute of a sigh.


Their name, their years, spelt by th' unletter'd muse,
The place of fame and epitaph supply;
And many a holy text around she strews,
That teach the rustic moralists to die.


For who to dumb forgetfulness a prey,
This pleasing anxious being e'er resing'd,
Left the warm precincts of the cheerful day,
Nor cast one longing ling'ring look behind?


On some fond breast the parting soul relies,
Some pious drops the closing eye requires;
Even from the tomb the voice of nature cries,
Even in our ashes live their wonted fires.


For thee, who mindful of th' unhonour'd dead,
Dost in these lines their artless tale relate:
If chance, by lonely contemplation led,
Some kindred spirit shall enquire thy fate.


Haply some hoary-headed swain may say,
'Oft have we seen him at the peep of dawn',
'Brushing with hasty steps the dews away',
'To meet the sun upon the upland lawn'.


'There, at the foot of yonder nodding beech',
'That wreaths its old fantastic roots so high',
'His listless length at noontide would he stretch',
'And pore upon the brook, that babbles by'.


'Hard by yon wood, now smiling as in scorn',
'Muttering his wayward fancies, would he rove';
'Now drooping, woeful-wan, like one forelorn',
'Or crazed with care, or cross'd in hopeless love'.


'One morn I miss'd him from the custom'd hill',
'Along the heath, and near his fav'rite tree';
'Another came; nor yet beside the rill',
'Nor up the lawn, nor at the wood was he'.


'The next with dirges due in sad array,'
'Slow through the churchway path we saw him borne',
'Approach and read, for thou cans't read, the lay',
'Graved on the stone beneath yon aged thorn'.

The Epitaph
Here rests his head upon the lap of earth,
A youth, to fortune and to fame unknown;
Fair science frown'd not on his humble birth,
And melancholy mark'd him for her own.


Large was his bounty, and his soul sincere;
Heav'n did a recompense as largely send:
He gave to mis'ry all he had, a tear,
He gain'd from heav'n ('twas all he wish'd) a friend.


No farther seek his merits to disclose,
Or draw his frailties from their dread abode,
(There they alike in trembling hope repose),
The bosom of his father, and his God.



Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard
a poem by Thomas Gray


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January 16, 2006

Today I'll mainly be down the pub

MR FM Forum.gif
Mr Free Market has opened his public forum - what larks!

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January 14, 2006

The Pub will be open soon...

Free Market Forums

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January 12, 2006

More on Tiger Hunting in South Africa

Alert readers will know I asked why in the excellent book - Jock of the Bushveld by Sir Percy FitzPatrick - Sir Percy talks about Tiger hunting. Thanks to some readers I now know the answer.
Of course if I had read another chapter further on I would have found descriptions of "Tigers" and illustrations to show the beast in question. All is now clear as the scan below the fold shows...

South African Tiger.jpg

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January 11, 2006

The Death of Enterprise

As I search around for an opportunity to earn a few Shekels to prevent me having to send the Englishettes back up the chimneys and The Mrs back to the Toothill streets, I have been working up some business plans.
With the few pigs running around the place and mindful of the official support to "add value" to farm produce on farm I hit upon the cunning wheeze to produce Air-dried ham. Any wizened old crone in the southern European Mountains knows how to do it so it can't be that hard to do. A bit of research and now I have a small sample batch maturing - tastes good! And it is not just ham, there are the Biltongs, the Jerkies, Venison, even Skerpikjt to add to the range. The market seems to be there for it, and price looks good. It is something I'm interested in, I can afford to set it up, I want to do it.
So all systems go?
No.

EU Referendum constantly reminds us that "we have "two cultures": the increasingly bureaucratic world of legislative food safety, dominated by the EU, and the real world of food safety, where intelligent men and women are taking their own steps to ensure our food is safe."
Traditional time proven methods, backed up with pH testing etc. will not be good enough. I talked to a on-farm food processor at the weekend. His advice, which I am taking, is just don't enter that world of pain of death by a thousand regulations. Bugger, I may have to look for a real job now.

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January 4, 2006

Farm Crime

Telegraph | News | Car thief killed farmer after early release from jail

The family of a farmer who was run down and killed as he tried to stop two gipsy brothers stealing his Land Rover yesterday demanded to know why one of them had been let out of prison early following a spate of identical crimes.

Mr Boffey's brother, Roy, 67, said: "The fact that one of them was on licence when they did this to Michael just sums up what is wrong with this country.

"It's what happens if you are soft on these people - they harm ordinary law-abiding citizens."

.... Yesterday it emerged that Squires and his brother Fred, 24, who had dropped him off at the farm, had made a career out of stealing from farms.

Both were jailed in 2003 for a robbery in which Ashley Squires drove a van at a farmer. His brother got two years and he was sentenced to three and a half years.

But Ashley Squires's release on licence after 19 months meant he was free to kill Mr Boffey...

Noticing the keys in the ignition of Mr Boffey's Land Rover, they parked nearby before Ashley Squires walked back to steal the car.

He attempted to run down Christine Russell, a farm worker, before hitting Mr Boffey, a father of three.

Ashley Squires admitted manslaughter and his brother admitted conspiracy to steal and assisting an offender. The pair, who have no fixed address, will be sentenced on Monday.

Yesterday their grandmother, Lena, said they were "good boys". She said Mr Boffey's death "was just one of those things".

Sounds like a murder and two attempted murders to me, but hey what do I know? 19 months for the previous attempted murder so what will he get for this "manslaughter"?

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January 2, 2006

Centenary Year

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No shooting tonight due to the holiday so a chance to discover some background reading about the Devizes and District Miniature Rifle League and my beloved Morris Tubed Lee Metford...

The Parable of Boy Jones - Land & Sea Tales - For Scouts and Guides - Rudyard Kipling
The Parable of Boy Jones

THE LONG shed of the Village Rifle Club reeked with the oniony smell of smokeless powder, machine-oil, and creosote from the stop-butt, as man after man laid himself down and fired at the miniature target.....

NRA-ILA :: Articles
Rudyard Kipling and Arthur Conan Doyle both witnessed the lethal fire that Boer farmer-riflemen rained on British troops in 1899. They returned home to promote civilian marksmanship through the expansion of rifle clubs in England. ...

"What the `clothyard shaft and grey goose-wing` effected, when guided by an English eye and an English hand at Crecy and Agincourt, the rifle bullet will do in any future contest...." wrote Hans Busk in The Rifle and How to Use it.

The London Times went so far as to editorialize: "The change from the old musket to the modern rifle has acted on the very life of the nation, like the changes from acorn to wheat and stone to iron are said to have revolutionized the primitive races of men."

Despite the NRA`s best efforts during the previous 40 years, the war in South Africa demonstrated clearly that England was not yet a nation of marksmen. In May 1900 Prime Minister Lord Salisbury called for the formation of civilian rifle clubs to redress the shortcoming. In a speech to the Primrose League, he stated his goal was no less than that "a rifle should be kept in every cottage in the land."
..
Writing to the London Times in June 1905, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle presented his case, making the inevitable comparison to the Middle Ages: "The first point which is worth insisting upon is that a man trained at a miniature range (whether Morris Tube or otherwise) does become an efficient shot almost at once when he is allowed to use a full range. What with the low trajectory and absence of recoil in a modern rifle the handling of the weapon is much the same in either case. I am speaking now of an outdoor range where a man must allow for windage and raise his sights to fire . . . It was skill at the parish butts which made England first among military powers during the fourteenth century. My suggestion is that the parish butts be restored in the form of the parish miniature range."

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December 31, 2005

End of the year roundup

So the end of another year and my best wishes to all of you for 2006.
It is customary to do a full and serious roundup of the year's events, so thinking back through 2005 what do I remember?
Suzi Quatro being chased by my goose, I'm sure there was other stuff but after a good lunch with Mr FM and Mr Watton and respective wives, ageing relatives and young children all causing chaos in the local Pub, having been there for the Hunt Meet that is all I can remember, so let me leave you with that mental picture of 2005 - Mr Englishman's Goose chasing Suzi Quatro!
Cheers, have a good one.

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December 24, 2005

Happy Christmas

xmas at the castle.jpg
The fire is lit, the stockings up, the presents piled around the tree and Rudolf's carrot and Santa's biscuit and glass of Sherry stand ready.
Have a Merry Christmas and Great New Year.

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December 21, 2005

Secret snatched pictures from the Range

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Never before have photographs from inside the local Rifle Range been made public... but with the BBC down there last night and MrFM promising a full report today I thought I would sneak a few blurry shots out in a pretence of it being interesting..

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December 20, 2005

Guns in Pubs

FREE MARKET FAIRY TALES: Devizes & District Miniature Rifle League gives the full story of our little league where we shoot .22 in indoor ranges at local pubs.

The BBC is coming to film it tomorrow as it is 100 years old, still preparing for a repeat of the South African Unpleasantness. I was down there tonight with my converted Lee Metford, slightly older than the league, and was pleased as Punch with my card.
We shoot in a Z fashion; top left two sighters - you can see me getting the windage right (left/right error) and then tackling the elevation. Next shot, and the first scoring shot, is in the top right target. Not quite there with one shot! (Breaking the black of the bull is what is needed to score.) And then middle, bottom left and a final shot in bottom right. I just hope the BBC don't film me trying to emulate it!
22.jpg

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December 19, 2005

An Unsavoury Interlude

Problem in The Castle tonight - when I converted the attic to bedrooms I "runned all the watter-pipes.. all along under the ang of the heaves, like... And well I hope it is a only a mouse and not, well I will let Rudyard take up the story..

To the left Stalky wriggled, and saw a long line of lead-pipe disappearing up a triangular tunnel, whose roof was the rafters and boarding of the College roof, whose floor was sharp-edged joists, and whose side was the rough studding of the lath and plaster wall under the dormer.

Rummy show. How far does it go?

Right along, Muster Corkranright along from end to end. Her runs under the ang of the heaves.
...

They crawled out, brushed one another clean, slid the saloon-pistols down a trouser-leg, and hurried forth to a deep and solitary Devonshire lane in whose flanks a boy might sometimes slay a young rabbit. They threw themselves down under the rank elder bushes, and began to think aloud.

You know, said Stalky at last, sighting at a distant sparrow, we could hide our sallies in there like anything.

Huh! Beetle snorted, choked, and gurgled. He had been silent since they left the dormitory.

Did you ever read a book called The History of a House or something? I got it out of the library the other day. A Frenchwoman wrote itViolet somebody. But its translated, you know; and its very interestin. Tells you how a house is built.

Well, if youre in a sweat to find out that, you can go down to the new cottages theyre building for the coastguard.
....
Hi! Theres a bunny. No, it aint. Its a cat, by Jove! You plug first.

Twenty minutes later a boy with a straw hat at the back of his head, and his hands in his pockets, was staring at workmen as they moved about a half-finished cottage. He produced some ferocious tobacco, and was passed from the forecourt into the interior, where he asked many questions.
...
Ive found out how houses are built. Le me get up. The floor-joists of one room are the ceiling-joists of the room below.

Dont be so filthy technical.

Well, the man told me. The floor is laid on top of those joiststhose boards on edge that we crawled overbut the floor stops at a partition. Well, if you get behind a partition, same as you did in the attic, dont you see that you can shove anything you please under the floor between the floorboards and the lath and plaster of the ceiling below?
....
An then . . . Theyve been calling us stinkers, you know. We might shove somethin undersulphur, or something that stunk pretty badan stink em out. I know it can be done somehow. Beetles eyes turned to Stalky handling the diagrams.

Stinks? said Stalky interrogatively. Then his face grew luminous with delight. By gum! Ive got it. Horrid stinks! Turkey! He leaped at the Irishman. This afternoonjust after Beetle went away! Shes the very thing!

Come to my arms, my beamish boy, carolled MTurk, and they fell into each others arms dancing. Oh, frabjous day! Calloo, callay! She will! She will!

....
That night was the first of sorrow among the jubilant Kings. By some accident of under-floor drafts the cat did not vex the dormitory beneath which she lay, but the next one to the right; stealing on the air rather as a pale-blue sensation than as any poignant offense. But the mere adumbration of an odour is enough for the sensitive nose and clean tongue of youth. Decency demands that we draw several carbolised sheets over what the dormitory said to Mr. King and what Mr. King replied. He was genuinely proud of his house and fastidious in all that concerned their well-being. He came; he sniffed; he said things.
....
The cat had gained in the last twelve hours, but a battlefield of the fifth day could not have been so flamboyant as the spies reported.

My word, she is doin herself proud, said Stalky. Did you ever smell anything like it?

....
Next day Richards, who had been a carpenter in the Navy, and to whom odd jobs were confided, was ordered to take up a dormitory floor; for Mr. King held that something must have died there.
We need not neglect all our work for a trumpery incident of this nature; though I am quite aware that little things please little minds. Yes, I have decreed the boards to be taken up after lunch under Richards auspices. I have no doubt it will be vastly interesting to a certain type of so-called intellect; but any boy of my house or anothers found on the dormitory stairs will ipso facto render himself liable to three hundred lines.

The boys did not collect on the stairs, but most of them waited outside Kings. Richards had been bound to cry the news from the attic window, and, if possible, to exhibit the corpse.

Tis a cat, a dead cat! Richards face showed purple at the window. He had been in the chamber of death and on his knees for some time.
....
Down in the basement, where the gas flickers and the boots stand in racks, Richards, amid his blacking-brushes, held forth to Oke of the Common-room, Gumbly of the dining-halls, and fair Lena of the laundry.
Yiss. Her were in a shockin staate an condition. Her nigh made me sick, I tal ee. But I rowted un out, and I rowted un out, an I made all shipshape, though her smelt like to bilges.

Her died mousin, I reckon, poor thing, said Lena.

Then her moused different to any made cat o world, Lena. I up with the top-board, an she were lying on her back, an I turned un ovver with the brume-handle, an twas her back was all covered with the plaster from twixt the lathin. Yiss, I tal ee. An under her head there lay, like, sos to say, a little pillow o plaster druv up in front of her by raison of her slidin along on her back. No cat niver went mousin on her back, Lena. Some one had shoved her along right underneath, so far as they could shove un. Cats dont make theyselves pillows for to die on. Shoved along, she were, when she was settin for to be cold, laike.

Oh, yeoum too clever to live, Fatty. Yeou go get wed an taught some sense, said Lena, the affianced of Gumbly.

Larned a little fore iver some maidens was born. Sarved in the Queens Navy, I have, where yeoum taught to use your eyes. Yeou go tend your own business, Lena.

Do ee mean what youm been tellin us? said Oke.

Ask me no questions, Ill give ee no lies. Bullet-hole clane thru from side to side, an tu heart-ribs broke like withies. I seed un when I turned un ovver. Theym clever, oh, theym clever, but theym not too clever for old Richards! Twas on the born tip o my tongue to tell, tu, but . . . he said us niver washed, he did. Let his dom boys call us stinkers, he did. Sarved un dom well raight, I say!

Richards spat on a fresh boot and fell to his work, chuckling.

If you haven't got it in Hardback may I recommend Stalky&Co as a Christmas read - I enjoy the stories, though some don't;
'An unpleasant book about unpleasant boys at an unpleasant school'. [Concise Cambridge History of English Literature (Cambridge, 1942), p. 959.] Comments like this one of George Sampson's have dogged Stalky & Co. since the stories first appeared in book form in 1899. And this was by no means the harshest. From Wells's condemnation of the heroes as self-righteous bullies and A. C. Benson's description of them as `little beasts' to Maugham's magisterial `a more odious picture of school life can seldom have been drawn', [See Kipling, The Critical Heritage, ed. Roger Lancelyn Green (London, 1971), pp. 306-7, 318; A Choice of Kipling's Prose (London, 1952) p. vi.] the disapproval of Kipling's contemporaries was made thunderously clear. `Mr Kipling obviously aims at verisimilitude; the picture he draws is at any rate repulsive and disgusting enough to be true,' wrote Robert Buchanan, his most virulent critic. `Only the spoiled child of an utterly brutalised public could possibly have written Stalky & Co. ... It is simply impossible to show by mere quotation the horrible vileness of the book describing these three small fiends in human likeness; only a perusal of the whole work would convey to the reader its truly repulsive character ... The vulgarity, the brutality, the savagery ... reeks on every page.'

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December 16, 2005

Spooky

Tim Worstall says it is December 10, 2005 as does A TANGLED WEB, The Daily Ablution makes it December 09, 2005...Have I slipped back a week through a space time warp, are there really a few more days to buy some Christmas presents? Can I put fifty quid on the horse that won yesterday's 3.45 race?
Or is it a sinister plot so that they have had to revert to a backup?

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Pantomime Time

The local Charity Pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics
descended into chaos yesterday when someone shouted

"He's behind you"

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December 14, 2005

The weather forecast

Ooh Aah my lovelies. Last night there was the clearest sky you can imagine with the most amazing ring around the moon - us old country folk always says that means the weather is about to change and it is time to cockle your stooks and whipple the heifers, and some even go on to claim that the ring that appears around the moon arises from light passing through six-sided ice crystals high in the atmosphere. These ice crystals refract, or bend, light in the same manner that a camera lens bends light. The ring has a diameter of 22 , and sometimes, if you are lucky, it is also possible to detect a second ring, 44 diameter. Thin high cirrus clouds lofting at 20,000 feet or more contain tiny ice crystals that originate from the freezing of super cooled water droplets. These crystals behave like jewels refracting and reflecting in different directions.
Amazing - wish I could have captured it on film.

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December 11, 2005

Tonight ve sing the old songs

Listen to the BBC, BBC, BBC,
Listen to the BBC, tra-la-la-la,
Who's preaching world democracy, democracy, democracy?
Who wants to make free people free? tra-la-la-la
MP3 to the tune of Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? by Charlie and His Orchestra

As the organiser of the Band said, and what could be a blogging credo:

"An idea always lives in individuals. It seeks an individual to transmit its great intellectual force. It becomes alive in a brain, and seeks escape through the mouth. The idea is preached by individuals, individuals who will never be satisfied to have the knowledge remain theirs alone. You know that from experience. When one knows something one does not keep it hidden like a buried treasure, rather one seeks to tell others. One looks for people who should know it. One feels that everyone else should know to, for one feels alone when no one else knows. For example, if I see a beautiful painting in an art gallery, I have the need to tell others. I meet a good friend and say to him: "I have found a wonderful picture. I have to show it to you." The same is true of ideas. If an idea lives in an individual, he has the urge to tell others. There is some mysterious force in us that drives us to tell others. The greater and simpler the idea is, the more it relates to daily life, the more one has the desire to tell everyone about it."

Of course the small problem is that Charlie and His Orchestra was a Nazi big band assembled by Hitler's minister of propaganda, Joseph Goebbels, whose words those are.

For the full story and the more MP3s of Nazi Swing follow the link above.

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December 10, 2005

Ahh yum!

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Back from the pub after a drink with Mr FM to the wonderful smell of stew cooking in the slow oven of the Aga. I notice the present Mrs Englishman has used a stock cube, last but one in the packet and is throwing the box out. No "use by date" on it, but the help line number is 081 780 9051 which puts it before 16 April 1995. A few more hours cooking and then leave it at room temperature for a day and that is tomorrow's supper sorted.

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December 9, 2005

Come (Not) Hunting

In January the Hunt met at The Castle - they are here again on the 13th December - all are welcome for Mulled wine and Mince pies 11:00 am. Of course this time they will be Not Hunting. Hope the weather stay good for them.

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DA DADA DA DA DA DA-DA DA DADA DA DA DAH DADA

Telegraph | News | The Dambusters will soar again to same theme tune

Sir David Frost is to re-make the British classic The Dambusters, complete with the original Eric Coates music.

Why? Just Why?

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December 7, 2005

Cleaning the Car

Herself needs to borrow my car this morning for the school run so I am busy tidying it out - off the back seat so far:
Whitney Blankets, unused - 2
Kukri, used - 1
Steel Helmet, 1940, blue with Police painted on it, - 1
Sweet papers, various - 8
Guns and Ammo Magazine - 2
Chestnuts - 7

An average haul, what rubbish is in your car?

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December 2, 2005

It's Friday Funtime

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day
long.
No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.
The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his
head that said:
"Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to
sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last.
And you're single. Just let it go..
" But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to
reality, whispering:

Dave.............

.............you're a vet".

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December 1, 2005

Dear Blogdaughters, your opinion please.

My smart, sexy, funny and Italian Blogdaughters may be able to help me out. Is this a good deal for my Xmas wine or should I look elsewhere? I tend not to drink much white so I rely on others.

Virgin Wines - Product Details

The wine that smart Italians drink in Italy - at half the price they pay. Right now this is the best quality you can buy in Britain for less than a fiver.

Araldica d'Aria Gavi - Wine of the Year 2005! The Italian equivalent of Chablis is the delicious but eye-wateringly Gavi de Gavi. The good news is that we've found a wine made in the same style, the same grape (Cortese) and in the same region, but without the expensive Gavi de Gavi label - 75cl 13% alc 4.99

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Planning my cropping

Telegraph | News | 500 cannabis joints is not trafficking, says Clarke

Anyone caught carrying up to 500 cannabis joints is likely to escape trafficking charges under Home Office proposals published yesterday.

Do you reckon I could get away with half an acre in the Lower Forty - just for personal use?

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November 28, 2005

He's back!

Kim! I need say no more, well just this.

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November 27, 2005

Tis the season to be jolly

The first of the seasonal get togethers around a luke warm mince pie, a luke warm sausage, a luke warm glass of Pinot Grigio and a luke warm fire has been survived.
I used to get the odd invite to a large farmhouse where the farmer wandered around spilling straw and colostrum from bottles over the inherited furniture and fittings. I only ever ate anything still hot and burning from the vast kitchen range and drink from unopened bottles. I have a distinct distrust of any man who smells of soap and believe we all have to eat a peck of dirt before we die, but there are limits. The bottom coolest oven of the range was used as a lamb reviver, a lamb found cold and thirsty would be brought back to the farmhouse kitchen, wrapped in an old sack and brought back to life with a bottle of milk and an hour or so in the oven. I remember going there one cold Easter when friends from the village had also been invited. Roast Leg of Lamb was the order of the day so they were a little disturbed to see this pathetic bundle of a baby lamb in the oven, the door was left open. Their discomfort grew as the lamb revived and staggered to its feet and escaped the oven. They didn't dare ask what was going to happen next but I believe furtive plans were being laid to escape before the lamb was dealt with. Their relief at learning that the roast joint was in the top oven was short lived as they sat down to eat a lovely bit of lamb, with a small lamb noisily running round the kitchen under the table looking for its mother.
But it wasn't the presence of livestock in the kitchen that was most off putting - and I swear this is true with no exaggerating at all. I was eating in the Posh Dining room at Christmas when my eye caught sight of a fresh Walnut Whip of a dog turd on the carpet by the fire. My lessons in etiquette failed to explain the correct response so I made my excuses and left as soon as I could. At Easter I was back, the food again was laid out in the Dining Room. I looked casually over to the fireplace and there was the turd still there - now dry and mouldy - but still, I'm sure the same turd. I went hungry.

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November 25, 2005

It's Friday Fun Time

Two Scottish lads are chatting in the pub about the one bloke's wedding
which is just around the corner.

The one bloke says to the other, "I think I'm going to have to wear a kilt
for my wedding."

The other bloke says, "Oh, aye? What's the tartan?"

"Oh she'll be dressed in white, I suppose."

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November 24, 2005

The Neighbours

Christmas Lights - aren't you glad they aren't next door?

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November 17, 2005

More on weird comment spam

"I've managed to save up roughly" - Google Search gives 212 examples of one of the weird spam comments I got - all with different numbers in - is someone testing blog comment policies out? Passing secret message? Mine came from IP 82.94.251.206......

Oh and a very nice man came with a big tractor and chain to tow me out!

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Weird Comment Spam

Have you seen this before? It's a number guessing game: ...I guessed 8314x, and it got it right! Pretty neat.
This is cool, you have to try it. I guessed 5276x, and this game guessed it!
I can't believe it, my co-worker just bought a car for $4863x. Isn't that crazy
I've managed to save up roughly $5203x in my bank account, but I'm not sure if I should buy a house or not. Do you think the market is stable or do you think that home prices will decrease by a lot?

Four comments I have had in the last day; I have truncated the numbers because I don't know what is going on. Any ideas? Or is it like the good old days of John Snagg announcing "This is London, the white bird is flying east tonight, Pierre has lost a shoe and tow bags of sugar....."

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November 16, 2005

Buy Buy Buy

Amazon.co.uk: 2005 Blogged: Dispatches from the Blogosphere
The Worstall has a blogging book out for Xmas - I was trying to work out how to have a nifty advert up for it but I can't so just follow the link - I note that:
"Customers who shopped for this item also shopped for:
The Big Book of Masturbation: From Angst to Zeal; Paperback ~ Martha Cornog"

Oh well I suppose that is the market segment us bloggers go for....

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November 10, 2005

Wanadone

Whoops - I owe an apology:

Sometime ago I blogged a couple of times about Wanadoo's customer service:
An Englishman's Castle: Wanadoo - Wannadon't -calling Rob Connell

I got another letter from them yesterday so I rang my friend Julian at the Press Office on 020 7553 7566 to jump up and down that I didn't believe that Rob Connell was a Director of Wanadoo UK plc as stated in the letter and that I didn't owe them the 14.99.

Anyway a very nice lady - I think Heather Bamforth - rang me back today and allowed me to rant to her as well. She tells me Rob Connell is a Managing Director of their Madeira company. I have just reread the letter and tried to ring her back on 0113 222 9100 (the secret Wanadoo number) to apologise - while it is misleading on the matter of Rob Connell they also apparently now have the account as paid - don't know how as the registered card expired last year and was a company card of a company that is in administration (I was just working there!). Still reception couldn't find her name on their list so I will leave it, but it is all very strange.

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November 5, 2005

Faggots for Bonfire Night

faggots.jpg
Yum - In the Aga there are real faggots cooking in an onion gravy to be served with peas and chips - just the autumnal meal to brace yourself before going out to The Burning! - Here is the youngest Englishette helping - I'm sure a couple of my readers have never actually seen faggots in the raw before (to coin a phrase) - the white lines are the caul which is wrapped round the chopped offal, if you have to ask what is in one you don't want to eat it, but at four for a pound it is a cheap meal.

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November 4, 2005

It's Friday!

To save Mr FM the bother of driving over to the King's Arms tonight I will tell tonight's joke now:

A man goes to a zoo.

There was only one animal there, A dog.

It was a shitzu.

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November 2, 2005

Home defence down under

Intruder killed with own sword - The Nation - Breaking News 24/7 - NEWS.com.au

A MELBOURNE resident has fought back against two armed intruders, killing one with a sword he seized from his attackers, police said.
A second intruder fled with cuts to his hands and legs after the attempted armed burglary in Melbourne's south-east early today.
Police detective Stephen McIntyre it was unlikely charges would be laid against the male occupant of the house.

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Please adjust your bookmarks.

A TANGLED WEB is now http://atangledweb.typepad.com make sure you read it daily.

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November 1, 2005

1st November post

Last year I posted this: An Englishman's Castle: My England

November 01, 2004
My England:.. here are some pictures of Wiltshire, .. they were taken on 1st November 2003:

I'll walk up there today - it is twelve years since my Dad died and I miss him still.

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Objects of desire

In Oxford yesterday so I popped into the free Pitt Rivers Museum . I spent a year living on Museum Road but never tire of it or the attached Natural History Museum; if you are ever near visit.
The Pitt Rivers is undergoing some building work as they increase its size, without damaging its original Victorian interior and displays, so the collections are a bit limited.
They have a special display of Wilfred Thesiger photographs taken in the 1950s in Iraq, especially in the Marshes - destroyed by Saddam.
Knowing the readers of this blog I'm sure you would also be interested in the permanent display of the evolution of the gun, with examples, including my favourite the 1898 Enfield - object number 1957.5.1- "Accession Book Entry - MRS. IDA DOYNE, ... Henley-on-Thames. Enfield 1898, .303 rifle, found by the donor's brother, Frederick Nicholas Griffin, after an engagement with the BOERS at WAGENAARS KRAAL, CAPE COLONY, 18 Feb. 1902. The wooden encasement beneath the barrel has been cut away, presumably to lessen the weight as a whole. The firing-pin has been filed away at the point. Its owner Judge HUGO was killed during the action. Length 3' 4". "

Of course others may prefer objects 1940.7.0377 .1 1940.7.0377 .2 1940.7.0377 .3 loaned by Cheltenham Ladies College - can you guess what they are?

Accession Book Entry [Loans] - Council of the Ladies' College, Cheltenham, Glos. - From Africa - Rifle and bayonet, European make, late 19th or early 20th century. ? Used in African campaigns.

Related Documents File - New information from Graham Priest, 13/12/2001, re: 1940.7.0377 .2 (bayonet): "Turkish Model 1891 Mamer Rifle bayonet. Made under contract in Germany. Turkish inscription will be German maker's name (Weyersberg?) and Turkish date - (Muslim calendar). [Crescent & Star symbol] - back of blade - Turkish symbol. IVLLIO = Arabic weapon #. Sheet brass on scabbard = N. Africa - probably a post WWI (Gallipoli) souvenir." [CF 18/12/2001]

Old Pitt Rivers Museum label - Mauser Rifle, Germany, 1898. With the 1898 pattern bolt-action magazine Mauser, the 19th century rifle reached its most perfect form. In the hands of an expert, more than 20 r.p.m. can be fired; 15 r.p.m. is readily attainable. The design was adopted by many other countries besides Germany (this specimen was exported to Turkey) and would have been adopted by Britain but for the outbreak of the 1914-18 war. The British P.14 and U.S. P.17 snipers' rifles had Mauser actions. Mausers are still eagerly sought by marksmen and "sportsmen" the world over. Calibre: 7.92 mm. (.311") Sight Range : 2000 yards. Loaned by Cheltenham Ladies College. [DCF Court Team 25/11/2002]

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October 30, 2005

Still time to give!

I meant to highlight before that it is The Daily Ablution Pledge Week. Give now or Mrs Scott will ban him from the computer, and that mustn't happen. Personally I have found it easier not to let the present Mrs Englishman know that I blog, she thinks I spend all these hours surfing pornography rather than indulging in the solitary sin of blogging....

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October 26, 2005

Pub Game

Standing at the bar tonight in the King's Arms the following game evolved - I'm sure it has a name and history but we just made it up on the spot...

One player is the House, one the punter. The House puts up ten coins of different denominations, which add up to say to 4.90, he offers the punter the chance to buy two coins for a pound. The choice of coins to be chosen by the punter writing down two numbers and putting down his Quid; then the House lays out his coins in an prearranged pattern. I.E. coin to the left is number one, up to number ten on the right. Open the folded bit of paper revealing the punters choice and whether he chose the two pound coin and the fifty pence or the the two pennies. Strangely addictive and as you play it you start to get more confident and offering better odds. I was laying down 5.50 to get a pound bet because I reckoned I could beat the punters guesses. I think I ended the evening up.

Posted by The Englishman at 10:43 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 12, 2005

Heroes and Villains

I eventually narrowed the problem on the 'puter to PokaPoka and a wonderful tool from the lovely guys at SimplyTech in Italy provide a free tool to kill it - I will make a donation. I want to have their babies, also the gorgeous Tina I want to have hers as well for the help she offered. Thanks.

And I hope that the makers of Surfsidekick suffer Weeping Buboes and are hunted down and squashed like the Roaches they are. Their homes should be destroyed so no stone stands upon another and the ground salted. They are cursed to the tenth generation and should be branded with a mark before their long and painful deaths.

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Help I need some one

Bugger Bugger Bugger - yesterday having been happily playing with Google's Reader I had a little peak into what other goodies they offer and Web-accelerator caught my eye as being designed to speed up access on Broadband to regularly surfed sites, sounds like me so as it is from a reputable source I downloaded it. Installed it, Microsoft AntiSpyware asked if I wanted to allow it to work so clicked OK and off I went. Seemed to do the trick. I followed a couple of blog links, nothing dodgy, and suddenly a tidal wave of Ads overwhelmed the computer and Anti-Spywear was blocking attempts to change settings left right and centre. Something had got through. Now it may be coincidence but this the first time in ten years of surfing on this computer that this happens and it is five minutes after I have installed Google Web accelerator. My hunch is that in its helpful way it preloaded the next likely page and that was the dodgy link.

So this morning I'm out in the shed with the old machine and my normal computer has wasted all of yesterday afternoon for me and still isn't clean despite the best efforts of Ad-Aware SE. Of course normally I would give Mr NBC a call but after Mr FM poisoned him with too much beer and Whiskey (yes Irish) on Friday night in an attempt to thank him for his last Tech support job he is probably running scared of Wiltshire. Maybe if I promise to fall over into the muck puddle again as we walk home from the pub that will be incentive enough...

So limited blogging until all is fixed, and if I catch up with anyone involved in the adware industry then in the immortal words of Kim; "Rope, Tree, some assembly may be needed."

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October 11, 2005

Read More Blogs

Google Reader - I have been trying it for a day or so and to seems to be the first RSS system that I can actually get on with. Basically it goes and snuffles out any new story from your favourite blogs and news sources and gives you an extract which you can then click on to get the full story - and it is so easy to set up even Mr FM could do it!

Posted by The Englishman at 7:03 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Sartorial advice needed

I have been summoned for Jury Service in December in Swindon. I suppose a grand show trial of the massed youth of Swindon for wearing hoodies and lolling around slack jawed watching the traffic lights change as the most sophisticated entertainment their evo-stuck brains can comprehend is unfortunately unlikely to happen. So should I polish up my brogues and wear the pinstripe suit with an inch of hempen rope dangling from the pocket and a black handkerchief ready to be whipped out or should I dig out the sandals I bought when suffering from a whitlow, let the beard grow and knit myself a jumper from nettles?

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September 26, 2005

The kitchen table tonight

Bliss
Shooting at the pub has started again so a few bangs, a few pints and home for a cup of tea
58PM0216.jpg
Image taken on 27/9/2005 0:32

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September 23, 2005

All is well

We buried The Good Colonel yesterday; a very old stone church in a small Wiltshire village was filled with his friends and family; when the church was full they gathered around the porch, filling the churchyard; with gold braid, medals and boots shining in the autumn sun. A lone piper played "Flowers of the Forest", Artillery boots clicking on the cold stone floor as the flag covered coffin was brought in. A brave young boy turned into a man as he read "All is Well" for his father. "I vow to thee my country" and "Jerusalem" the hymns of course. Then out into the green churchyard where he was buried in sight of the rolling downs. The "Last Post" and then back to the marquee on the tennis lawn of the old Manor House for tea and sympathy. Afterwards to the Pub for many pints of "It's what he would have wanted". I feel shattered.

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September 20, 2005

Absent Friends

To make room for the Damson Gin, thanks to Mr FM for the Damsons, I had to decant last year's Sloe Gin. Made with sloes that the du Toits picked I drank their health as they embark on new adventures. Come back over soon and pick me some more!

The Mrs reassures everyone they are fine!

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September 15, 2005

I believe in eternal life

I am proud member of that traditional branch of the Church of England that doesn't actually require one to believe in God so I will leave matters spiritual to the Sky Pilots and those better versed in such matters. But even so I am confident in my belief that life is eternal and that death isn't the end. As a biologist it reassures me that my genes are immortal and have multiplied, it is pure vanity I know, because we share these basic building blocks, but they have served me well and so I am pleased to wish them "bon voyage" for the future. But we are not just mere machines for propagating our selfish genes. We are the sum of what we do, have done, our thoughts, our actions, our love. What we have built and nurtured may be our physical remembrances, but our affect on others, both now and in the future, is our real memorial. Some have called these exemplars our memes. And even after the direct memory of us and our standards has passed, I believe that these memes will still flourish and what was good will still live.

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Who wrote what about it?

Google Blog Search

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September 14, 2005

At peace

The Good Colonel didn't make it - he is at peace now. May his family regain their happiness quickly without ever forgetting him. I miss him more than I can say.

More at Mr FM.

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September 8, 2005

Anyon got some spare change?

Scotsman.com Member Centre - Premium Content - Bloggers keep the media honest, so wade in

Bloggers keep the media honest, so wade in
BOB EGGINGTON
The full article contains 521 words and appears in The Scotsman newspaper.
To read the full article now subscribe to "scotsman.com Premium" from as little as 29.95 a year.

Oh well - sounded interesting....

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August 31, 2005

Carpe Diem

Clarke standing for Tory leader; the Foreign Office busy briefing that the only solution to Iraq is a civil war, and we might as well pull out now and let it happen quickly rather than later; my tax demand and how Adam Smith's Pin Factory and the advantage of specialisation is so distorted by taxes that there comes a time when it is more economically rational to do a non-optimum job yourself than do your optimum job and pay the layers of tax to give the proper worker his fair share. Oh, there are a heap of blog entries I have nearly written but my heart isn't into it again today.
On Saturday I started to write how I had conclusive proof that Pork Scratchings caused Hang-overs - my little dig at the distortions of cause and effect was going to show how it was only when I had eaten Pork Scratching I felt rough the next day; that I only eat them when I have drunk too much was to be left unsaid, as was that it is only when I have been drinking with the Good Colonel that it happens.
Some of you may be familiar with the odd mention Mr Free Market and myself have made of the Good Colonel. He is a very dear friend of ours, an Army Officer of bravery and daring combined with intelligence, he had just finished a years course at Cambridge University. Friday night he and I gathered round the beer pumps of the King's Arms and put the world to rights. He was having a great time, just finished the course and excited about going off to Baghdad for a year in an important role. His wife and children, who he dotes on, were at the seaside so he was having a couple of days of selfish fun. With Ian every day is a day to make the most of and enjoy. The weather was set fine and the wind in the right direction for him to be able to go Paragliding on Saturday on the hills above the village, a sport he loves and does to a high standard.
Something went wrong; he had a serious crash on Saturday afternoon. He is on life support in Intensive Care. I don't know his prognosis but if anyone can pull through it is him. My thoughts are with his wife, children and family and at times like this I miss having the Faith that would enable me to pray for him. But I keep repeating into the ether:
"Ian, go on, make it, you can do it - we want you back."

TO THE VIRGINS, TO MAKE MUCH OF TIME.
by Robert Herrick


GATHER ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying :
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher he's a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he's to setting.

That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer ;
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may go marry :
For having lost but once your prime
You may for ever tarry.

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August 26, 2005

Open Comment Thread

Crazy mad fool that I am I upgraded this blog to run on Movable Type 3.2 today. Looking good so far but if you wish to test it and its super new comment spam management then fire away in the comments on anything you want to - you know there is nothing else to do this long weekend.
Thank You and have a good one.

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August 22, 2005

Nice Rack

My choice of hat for my morning walk:
57L70180.jpg
Image taken on 22/8/2005 8:24

The broad brim and airy crown suit walking round this broad flat landscape, and the waterproof one suits this morning's weather.
Of course I also like the American West and as well as the people and landscape I admire the spirit of freedom and personal responsibility, the self reliance, the courtesy and old fashioned values that it had, and still has.
Of course If I wanted to be intellectual about it I could turn to "The Not So Wild Wild West" by Terry Anderson or even The American West: A Heritage of Peace - Mises Institute, but in the UK the intellectual view is put thus in the Sunday Times:

The intellectual's guide to fashion: Cowboy hats
Professor Gideon Garter

When Roland Barthes published his semiotic analysis of clothing, Systme de la mode, in 1967, he was already moving away from the structuralism, which had been his guiding principle when he began the work 10 years earlier, towards the poststructuralism that would carve his name for ever on the marble tablets of cultural memory. As such, it would be erroneous to invoke his name in seeking out the meaning of cowboy hats. We must look instead for a matrix of interreferential connotations that will acknowledge the hats roots in the mythos of the Old West and reveal what it suggests, semiotically, today. For example: the wholesale extermination of the American bison, the destruction of the native Americans, gun law, slavery, lynchings based on ethnic prejudice, gangsterism, vigilantism and violence. All these together may make it hard, when a stetson passes in the street, or on a dancefloor in Ayia Napa, to declare: Nice hat.

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August 15, 2005

'em all, the long and the short and the tall..

For some reason I have been thinking of the "old songs" ( No Mr FM - not those "old songs") so I was pleased to find a definitive source of lyrics..

SOLDIERS' SONGS: THE FOLKLORE OF THE POWERLESS
I don't want to be a soldier,
I don't want to go to war;
I'd rather hang around
Piccadilly underground,
Living on the earnings of a high born lady;
Don't want a bullet up my arsehole,
Don't want my bollocks shot away,
For I'd rather stay in England,
Merry, merry England,
And roger all my bleeding life away,
Gorblimey!

But the song I was looking for has the chorus:

Fuck 'em all!
Fuck 'em all!
The long and the short and the tall;
Fuck all the Sergeants and W.O.l.'s,
Fuck all the corporals and their bastard sons;
For we're saying goodbye to them all,
As up the C.O.'s arse they crawl;
You'll get no promotion this side of the ocean,
So cheer up my lads, fuck 'em all!


A song with limitless possibilities - I am sure up to date lyrics are just waiting to be written...

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August 4, 2005

Bloody Foreigners

Coming over here imposing their culture, destroying our way of life! And leaving litter in the English countryside.

Another picture from my morning walk, Roman pottery and roof tile.
I ask you, what have the Romans ever done for us?
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Image taken on 4/8/2005 9:3

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July 29, 2005

News from my bunker...

56S70153.jpg
Another photo from my morning walk - my bunker - I have posted a picture before and here is a bit of background info on them. We are still ready for Johnny Foreigner down here in the country.


Kennet and Avon Pillboxes - Introduction

The Kennet and Avon Canal (the K&A) runs from Reading to Bristol, and is navigable by pleasure craft - as opposed to commercial craft - for its whole distance. It was originally completed in 1810, covers a distance of 87 miles, and includes numerous feats of engineering, such as aqueducts and many locks. There is a set of features along its entire length - World War II defence emplacements, otherwise known as pillboxes. There is a large number of these enormously strong and solid concrete blockhouses along the entire length of the K&A.

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July 27, 2005

The Mark of the Black-blogu

Libration : Comment un blog a dmasqu un journaliste du Guardian

Quant au blogueur Scott Burgess, il constate simplement que, sa connaissance, c'est la premire fois en Europe qu'un journaliste perd son boulot aprs avoir t black-blogu.

I rather like the idea of being a black-blogur so I formally propose we form The Guardians of the Mark of the Black-blogu and award Scott a trophy flag to fly!

skull.jpg

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July 26, 2005

Works for me 2

Many years ago before I had met the present or previous Mrs Englishmen Saturday afternoons were for some poculating at lunchtime, a quick snooze in front of the fire, waking up to The Dukes of Hazzard and a young friend of mine calling round - happy days...

IFILM - Music Videos: Jessica Simpson: These Boots Were Made For Walking

Sexy sudser Jess keeps it clean and gets down 'n' dirty in her Daisy Dukes. These boots are made for washing--and for watching. So siddown, rest yer dukes and get an eyeful of the bombshell next door soaping up the wheels. Legendary singer-songwriter Willie Nelson adds to the authentic flavor on this remake of the old Nancy Sinatra hit for the Dukes of Hazzard movie.

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I am tempted

Telegraph | News | Free land for families tempts new pioneers to the prairies

A century after the first settlers were drawn to the Great Plains by the offer of free land and a new life, a new generation of pioneers is being lured back by the same promises.

Sitting under big, blue skies and surrounded by endless wheat fields, Ellsworth was once the "wickedest cowtown in the West" but now embraces a far more wholesome image as it tries to attract clean-living, young families.

Move to Ellsworth under the "Welcome Home Plan" and you can have free land on which to build, home loan assistance, free utility installation and 12 months free membership of the local golf club.

The town will also help with the down payment on a new house - the size of the donation rising with the number of children you are bringing to the local school.

Applicants must be American citizens or have a US bank account.

Darn! I'm not eligible - and hey I didn't want the membership of the Golf Club anyway. But to live in peace under the Prairie skies, I would have some of that!

Posted by The Englishman at 6:45 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

July 25, 2005

A welcome return

Albion's Alchemist - still truthful, no longer cowardly

The Alchemist is pleased to announce his return the web. Readers may have noticed his absence of late - there is a reason for this, I shall stop short of calling it a good reason, because if it were I would still be absent.

It seems that an anonymous party took exception to something I wrote previously. Took exception strongly enough to discover my real name (worryingly easy to do as I discovered myself) and threaten my life and well-being.

Posted by The Englishman at 10:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 20, 2005

Housekeeping

Trying to do a bit of light dusting and tidying of the Castle Website - there is an upgrade of MT to look at for instance. I have been lax in maintaining my BlogRoll. Sites I visit aren't there and sites that I don't are - please help by suggesting who should be added, or removed...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:11 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

July 17, 2005

Hi Pop- pickers!

Tim "Fluff" Worstall brings you this weeks round up of all that is brightest and best in the British Blogosphere, and straight in at Number One is Scott, with a real scoop. Congratulations. Take it away Scott! Ba Bah Bom Bom de Dum!

Posted by The Englishman at 10:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 13, 2005

Sod off Townies

Telegraph | News | Rural folk told: be nice to outsiders, there's money in it

Research for the Countryside Agency found that members of ethnic minorities regarded rural dwellers as older, wealthier, more traditional and conservative than city people.
Rural people wanted to preserve their way of life and were more resistant to change than city dwellers, according to two reports, costing 360,000, which were commissioned as a result of a 2000 White Paper which committed the Government to 'increasing and diversifying enjoyment of the countryside".
An Indian woman, living in London, told researchers: "I think people in the countryside are quite rude to outsiders. Within their community they can be really friendly and really nice, but when it comes to those from outside they can be not so nice.
"I don't think they are hostile. They're set in their own little ways and they don't want their life to be disturbed."

360,000 to be told that! Next time I see some townie clever clogs researcher poking round my land I have an idea of how to tell him the same; an ounce and a quarter of lead is a lot cheaper than that.

Telegraph Leader agrees.

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July 2, 2005

Bit of a rally for our man in The City

BlogShares - FREE MARKET FAIRY TALES - I don't pretend to understand these share tradings but I think I am looking for some Puts on this one....

Posted by The Englishman at 9:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 29, 2005

Come visit

If you have Google Earth installed, you can double-click on the downloadable Placemark file below and it will fly you to The Castle. If not, you will need to install Google Earth first (available at http://earth.google.com).

Google Earth Placemark for The Castle.
Send me a link to your place as well!

Posted by The Englishman at 6:45 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 24, 2005

The view from my window

outmywindow.jpg I looked up from typing to see this - and Ihad my camera to hand, nothing else!

Posted by The Englishman at 7:21 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

June 21, 2005

Target Rich Environment

Telegraph | News
Modern-day druids, hippies and revellers who turn up at Stonehenge to celebrate the summer solstice may not be marking an ancient festival as they believe.

Ah, so Hippies are wrong - makes a change. As they drag themselves back to London from Stonehenge they pass by Free Market Towers; and the more lost pass under the Castle walls - off to check if the oil is up the right temperature yet...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:36 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 13, 2005

Pass it on

This scheme really works! You may have seen other schemes and said "Huh, what a CON!" but this is 100% GENUINE!

All you have to do is send a dozen old bricks to everyone on the
list.
Then put your name at the bottom of the list, and send it to six friends.

When your name reaches the top, you will have received more than HALF A MILLION bricks.

Stack them all in a heap and generations will remember you for THOUSANDS of YEARS to come.

And remember - this is a 100% genuine PYRAMID scheme!!!

1.) Senor de Sipan, Huaca de la Luna
2.) Mixcoatl Totepeuh, Teotihuacan
3.) King Nebuchadnezzar, Boraippa
4.) Pharoah Rameses the Great, Ramesseum
5.) Pharoah Khufu, Giza
6.) Prime Minister Blair, Millenium Dome, London

Posted by The Englishman at 11:53 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 10, 2005

That crazy German sense of humour!

A lot of visitors to this blog - welcome - coming looking for German Jokes - see here, here, here, here, here, and many others - use the search yourselves! Idle curiosity lead me to this news item today:
Agenzia Giornalistica Italia - News In English

The German Pope is becoming more and more "friendly": sometimes he even cracks jokes and indulges in informal attitudes. This morning, he didn't wear his skullcap and his hair was ruffled by the wind. Indeed, he talked about the "Wind of the Spirit" and called on it to enlighten all those who want to distinguish between love "which lacks nothing being the treasure of wisdom and science ", and imperfect love, also called "beginning of wisdom". "This contains in itself the idea of punishment, and is excluded from the hearts of the perfect to reach the fullness of love. And servile fear is substituted with a perfect fear, a gift from the Holy Spirit."

Whilst I still can and no disrespect to the old boy I feel this example of a German ribtickler is too good to keep to myself.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:11 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 7, 2005

More books for you to read

Google Print

Search the full text of books (and discover new ones).

Posted by The Englishman at 10:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Today's recipe

I note year ago I posted this:
An Englishman's Castle: Today's Recipe
..I had to make a Wiltshire Lardy Cake ..

5 lb White Bread Dough
1 Kg White Sugar
1 Kg mixed Dried Fruit
1 Kg Lard
Roll the dough into a 3x1 Rectangle, spread 1/3rd the Lard, sugar and fruit on 2/3rds the surface, fold in on itself so it is a square, rollout and repeat twice so you end up with a many layered cake. Bake for 45 minutes. Remove from pan whilst still warm and eat.

Picture

Yum - the one I made yesterday was wonderful - is it acceptable in polite society to eat it for breakfast as well?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:10 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 6, 2005

Monday nights

Bliss
555K0105.jpg
Image taken on 6/6/2005 21:54

Took the Lee Metford down to the range at the Pub and tried a few adjustments of the back sight - getting closer despite my failing right eye; Mr FM wanted to see it with the bayonet (pictured). Pint or two of Barney's best Wadworth's IPA. He only scored 98% in the beer competition as he failed to wipe his keystones and shives - but then no one was going to get 100%: it is the best beer in the county! Ah, England at its best. Pity Kim wasn't there, I know he enjoyed his Monday night down there and he did pick out the rifle for me; but there will always be another time.

Posted by The Englishman at 10:57 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

June 1, 2005

Tonight's Job - Fix Bayonets!

Getting the bayonet to fit onto the Lee Metford
550J0103.jpg
A couple of needle files and some oil cleaned the crud out
550J0104.jpg
and doesn't she look great now?

"They don't like it up them, sir".

Posted by The Englishman at 8:27 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

May 12, 2005

Leaning over the gate

I'm afraid you will have to talk amongst yourselves; long day at a wake today and tomorrow at 7 in the morning I have to give a seminar on Customer Satisfaction at Bath University. If I had any customers and if they were happy I might have something to say; so I suppose I will dust off the ARSE management notes (Anticipate, Respond, Soft-soap and Execute) and see if that keeps them quiet between the coffee and croissants - why the hell did I volunteer?
Open Comment post then!


Posted by The Englishman at 8:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 30, 2005

The Saloon Bar

I''m very lucky to have some kind and erudite readers who email me things, so I thought I would try a small experiment. This is an "Open Comment" post - I will keep it at the top for a few days and I invite you to post comments on anything you want to. Don't be shy! (The usual rules apply - this is my private property so I will remove anything I want to but I take no responsibility for the views expressed etc.)

So.. "Wet for this time of year, eh?"....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:27 AM | Comments (39) | TrackBack

April 3, 2005

Kennet Council Diversity

I have been kindly sent an invitation to a Kennet Council Diversity Task Group event - 10am - 4 pm Mon 25th April:

"Kennet is a wonderfully diverse community. As a key member (Woh - that sounds like elitism - are they suggesting I'm more important than others..)you are warmly welcomed to an innovative, informative and enjoyable event to explore diversity in Kennet and what it means for you and your organisation.

Three especially commissioned plays will help us all to understand the needs of our diverse community, the issues.... No please, not bloody Street Theatre as a political weapon. I'm almost tempted to take some unpaid time off work to go along and mock...

I thought I would Google a bit on the Kennet Diversity Task Group and the wonderfully named Chair - Karolyne Fudge-Malik
kfudgemalik@communityfirst.org.uk (01380) 722475
Karolyne aims to enable people from a diversity of cultures to access appropriate services from the voluntary sector. Much of the work is arts-based
.

And I have found out what their problem is...

Kennet isn't diverse enough!a Report

It proved particularly difficult to fill out the limited picture presented by the statistical data in relation to racist crime. The minority ethnic population of Kennet is very small, almost certainly under 1%, and there are no minority ethnic communities of any size in the District.
Wiltshire Racial Equality Council has not yet succeeded in making and
sustaining links with more than a handful of minority ethnic residents in Kennet, so it was not possible to identify a group of people able to describe the experience of crime and harassment of minority ethnic residents in the District. It will be a priority for the Diversity Task Group to make the necessary contacts with minority ethnic residents to supplement the information coming from the police and the Incident Self Reporting Forms.


In other words there is bugger all racist crime so we are going to bully people to find it.

With regard to homophobic crime, there was a similar difficulty in
putting together a focus group of gay and lesbian residents. This was
less to do with a lack of numbers if national estimates were to be
applied to Kennet, they would suggest a likely gay and lesbian
population of at least 4,000 than with the absence of a centre or
meeting place within the District where gay and lesbian residents can
gain mutual support and identify issues of shared concern.

Ditto Queer bashing - but if we had a nice friendly centre maybe they would come and report crimes..

Fewer travellers settle in Kennet than in some other parts of
Wiltshire, a reflection of the lack of authorised sites in the District, its position in relation to the main routes used by travellers (Avebury apart), and the rapid enforcement procedures of the County Council and the Police against those using unauthorised sites. Nevertheless, a clearer focus on travellers, both as victims and perpetrators of crime and disorder, would help to protect those whose way of life tends to attract prejudice and harassment, and to bring together those in the voluntary and statutory sectors who hold welfare and enforcement responsibilities.

And even the Pikey's don't complain...

So despite there not being any need for it there was a demand for :

the setting up of a Diversity Action Group, responding to the needs of minorities and others who are, or feel themselves to be at greater risk of victimisation than the general population
.

And if there aren't any victims we will manufacture them.

Yes I think I will try and go along for an hour or so - I wonder if Mr FM would like to come along as well - after all he suffers prejudice..

Posted by The Englishman at 10:40 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 24, 2005

Seven Stars

Kim du Toit mentions this local pub today - it was a pity he didn't get to meet the previous Landlord who was a gun nut (but French). Phil the Frog introduced me to Handguns many years ago - he used to shoot a 1 3/4 inch barrel S&W 38 - I remember having a lift with him when he stopped on a double yellow line to go and buy vegetables, jumped out, locked the doors with me inside and his gun on the dashboard. Great I thought - that will please the traffic warden. And when they were banned he and I went to France shooting with a BBC crew... And then I took Mr NBC to the pub to show him it was civilised - and the local gamekeeper came in with his young son and Shotgun and put them both on the bar - saying he thought he shouldn't leave either of them in his pickup. Just before he left I was over there sitting at the bar with my two year old having a drink with the local policeman ( see somethings are better in England!) Ah happy days!.

Posted by The Englishman at 10:36 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 21, 2005

Mr "Trencherman" FM

After Rifle Practice we adjourned to the Pub and Mr FM noted he had never heard of the word Trencherman apart from in Wiltshire:

Down here we use it is sentences such as: "In the space of the last five years, he fearlessly gained 40 pounds, displaying a trencherman's appetite for life and an admirable disdain for cardiologists and Surgeon Generals whining about moderation.."..
Doesn't anyone else?

Trencherman is from trencher, "a wooden board or platter on which food is served or carved" (from Medieval French trencheoir, from Old French trenchier, "to cut," from Latin truncare, "to lop off, to shorten by cutting") + man. It is related to trench, "a hole cut into the ground."

Posted by The Englishman at 11:50 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

March 4, 2005

My backyard stamp

Blognor Regis points out that the Royal Mail has seen fit to picture an area Horton Down, about a mile or so from The Castle on a stamp - it is one of my favourite spots in the world - a wild and desolate plain; two thousand years ago maybe the most densely populated area in Europe, now as remote as anywhere in southern England. I have been up there on long summer days and on a freezing day, blowing a blizzard waiting for a Partridge to pop out of the Rape. Fantastic.
So why haven't I seen one of the stamps or heard about it in the local press?

Posted by The Englishman at 9:46 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 3, 2005

Kennet Council - Nah Nah Nah - I can't hear you!

Our local Council - Kennet - seem determined to discourage anyone shopping in Devizes by any means possible. So there is Anger over proposed parking fee. But don't worry Cllr. Chris Humphries has set up a sub-committee to consider objections:

A statement from Kennet this week said: "The public can attend the meeting but will be unable to speak or make any input, but the committee will take on board their views."

Now that is the true voice of our Local Glorious Leaders.

-------

Apologies for any readers who have noticed an increasing coverage of my local issues. In many ways the goings on of yet another averagely incompetent Local Council is of little interest to outsiders. But the more I blog, the more I learn. And for too long local politics have been ignored. In many ways the big battles have been won at national level. But down at local level the statist centrally-planning envy-mongering money-grabbing wastrels have found a home and are flourishing. We all need to get involved. And so I make no apologies for using my blog to try and do my bit to turn the tide. And I encourage you do the same.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:50 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

February 25, 2005

A quiet scream of desperation

The local council over the last few years has spent a minimum of 205,000 on a fatuous Greenie initiative to mark local lanes as "Quiet Lanes" - they have employed professional PR, given away "fluffy" gifts etc. But now they have had to do a Quiet Lanes Review

And whoops -

"It can be seen that support for the scheme in the area has reduced sharply since implementation. This is a threat to the success and longevity of the scheme since support is essentially to encourage a change in user behaviour."

And also, as we all predicted, it hasn't made a blind bit of difference to anything - speeds have on average dropped, but then also have on non "Quiet Lanes".
The report has that quiet scream of desperation as a middle manager tries to present a failed project as a success and a reason for his job to continue...

And strangely the Council for once isn't going to continue supporting failure - they are scrapping the further expansion - Hurray!

Posted by The Englishman at 7:14 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

February 7, 2005

I'm ready ..

The post brought my Ketchum Hog Shoulder Slapper and a big 500ml of Tattoo ink. The spikes are over half an inch long. All I am going to do now is change the letters to CHAV and have it "to hand" by the back door - the first scumbag through will get it sharply applied to the forehead...

And here is a picture of my equipment with the slap - with six letters, the inking pad and the large tin of ink - being a traditionalist I went for the wooden handled one rather than the fancy "tactical" stainless steel...

hogslap.jpg

Posted by The Englishman at 10:12 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 22, 2004

Student re-education

St Andrews union bans student newspaper | Samizdata.net

The Saint, the award-winning tabloid student newspaper at the University of St Andrews, has been banned by the student union..

I gather from Bishop Hill that once the staff have "staff have undergone diversity awareness training" they will allowed to publish provided that "the editor should in future send each issue to
the university's press office to check that it is not in breach of discrimination policy before the paper goes to the printers.".

All for joking about dyslexic Welshmen or something!

Students just don't get Free Speech do they?

It wasn't much different 25 years ago when I nearly got rusticated from College for allowing the Sports Editor of the newspaper to pad out his column with the results from the "Rape a Whale" contest (No rape actually occured or animals hurt during the contest) and the "Knock a Rabbi Out of Bed Tournament". Seemed harmless to me.....

Posted by The Englishman at 12:16 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

August 4, 2004

Not dead

Hours of endless fun today updating blogging softwware and templates toMovable Type Publishing Platform 3.01

All should work and look better now, including Typekey authorised comments. Please tell me of any problems.

Posted by The Englishman at 11:08 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack