An Englishman's Castle

stale definition 2

Posted by The Englishman at 9:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Friday Night is Music Night (European Decadence Edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:35 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 19, 2009

Dinton Street View

Driving through Dinton this afternoon I came up behind a strange car with a pole out the roof - a moments thought that it was an intrusive anti privacy cctv setup was dispelled when I noticed the small Google sign on it - Street View being clicked - I hope they didn't catch me eating my sandwich and talking on the phone as I drove along...

View Larger Map

Posted by The Englishman at 9:43 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 18, 2009

The Last Glacier in Wiltshire Melts and a History Lesson

Come back Mr Free Market the last glacier in Wiltshire is melting;

Where's Al Gore when you need him?

The circle you can see on the hill below is Rybury Camp, an ancient Neolithic fortification, which nearly became a bloody battlefield in 1944.

In December 1944 an audacious plan was hatched by Waffen SS officers and some Fallschirmjäger troops to break out of their camp in Devizes, Wiltshire and seize weapons, including tanks from a local army depot and march on London, all this was to coincide with the Ardennes offensive which was taking place in Europe. The Ardennes Offensive lifted the moral of many German prisoners as they though this would lead to their liberation but they were very much mistaken.

Their plan called for them to regroup after escape at Rybury Camp, await reinforcements and fight off any opposition.

Although the plan sounds ludicrous it caused the British some concern and not unfoundedly as there were around 250,000 prisoners in Britain (the equivalent of 48 divisions) at that time and the British and American forces stationed in Britain numbered considerably less as they were fighting in Europe and the Far East.

The huts were bugged and so the plan was discovered. On the night of The Great Escape at the appointed time the floodlights were turned on and revealed the camp ringed by Grenadier Guards who were stationed nearby. The easy going local guards were replaced that night by Polish troops, noted for their sensitivity towards Nazis.... The perpetrators were dealt with, being sent to Comrie Camp in Perthshire (Camp 21) in the wilds of Scotland which housed hard-line line Nazis (mainly young Waffen SS, Fallschirmjäger and U-boat crew prisoners) out of the way of other moderate prisoners. This did lead to one very unfortunate incident where Feldwebel Wolfgang Rosterg-a known anti-Nazi was sent by mistake. He was believed to have informed of the plot to march on London and after a severe beating was hanged in the latrine. Five prisoners were caught, tried and hanged in Pentonville Prison in North London on 6th October 1946. Another prisoner- Unteroffizer Gerhard Rettig was beaten to death for his open criticism of the plan and was beaten to death after being chased round the camp and two other prisoners were executed in November 1946 in Pentonville Prison.

Picture Credit Young Harry

Posted by The Englishman at 6:26 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

February 15, 2009

Top Blogging

A guide to the 100 best blogs - part I - Times Online

Yawn....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:13 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 13, 2009

Size Matters

Judge takes 12,000 words to rule that size does not matter - Telegraph

His conclusion clashes with that of Lord Denning, a former Master of the Rolls, who ruled that it only counted if it was at least seven inches....

Lord Denning was a good old country boy and I think in this case he knew what he was talking about, this ruling is going to cause a great deal of confusion if it is allowed to stand.

Posted by The Englishman at 4:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Friday Night is Music Night (English Love Song Edition)

In the Summer of 1888, Edward Elgar and Alice Roberts were heading towards marriage. Edward decided on a holiday with his long-standing friend, Dr Charles Buck of Settle, Yorkshire. As he left Worcester, Alice presented Edward with a poem she had written and entitled Love's Grace. While on holiday in Settle, Edward reciprocated by writing a short piece of music for her, which he called Liebesgruss (Love's Greeting). The work carried the dedication "To Carice", a contraction of his future wife's forenames Caroline Alice with which they subsequently christened their daughter. On his return from Settle, Elgar presented the work to his wife and proposed to her. They married at the Brompton Oratory in South Kensington, London in May the following year.

Towards the end of 1888, Edward submitted three arrangements of the work - for solo piano, for violin and piano, and an orchestral arrangement - to the music publishing firm of Schott who agreed to buy the work outright for a fee of two guineas. At first, the work sold slowly. Apparently with Elgar's approval, Schott's retitled the work Salut d'Amour and gave the composer's name as Ed. Elgar, believing that the French title and a less obviously English composer would help the work gain wider international approval. It did, much to the publisher's satisfaction but with no financial benefit to Elgar.

Posted by The Englishman at 4:32 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 12, 2009

Get Your Origin of Species here...

I succumbed to temptation and put my copy up on eBay:

1882 Charles Darwin "The Origin Of The Species" on eBay (end time 12-Feb-09 17:58:07 GMT)

I feel a little bit guilty, but then as it only cost me £3 I didn't think it good enough to give to my son for his birthday present....

Posted by The Englishman at 4:40 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Happy Birthday F, C and A

Alongside Charlie we also have that old Republican Abe and on a personal note a big Happy Birthday to the boy in Bristol.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:56 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 11, 2009

Call me a bigot but some multicultural ideas aren't for me

India makes cola from cow urine - Telegraph

Hindus worship cows for their life-sustaining dairy products, but many also consume bovine urine and faeces in drinks and spice mixes for their "health-giving" properties.
In some Indian states, cow dung and urine are sold in regular dairy shops alongside milk and yogurt, and "ayurvedic" Indian health food companies make porridge, toothpaste and tonic drinks which claim to cure ailments ranging from liver complaints to diabetes and cancer. The urine is also believed to have disinfectant properties while the dung is used in many Indian village huts as a clean and antiseptic flooring.
Now, the RSS's Cow Protection Department has invented a new urine-based soft drink it hopes will promote its health-giving properties to a wider market. "We refer to gau ark (cow urine) as gau jal (cow water) as it has immense potential to cure various diseases. We have developed a soft drink formula with gau jal as the base and it has been sent to a laboratory at Lucknow for testing," said director Om Prakash.
His team is now focusing on packaging, marketing, and of course preservation to stop its curative drink from going whiffy in the summer heat.

If they want some extra raw material there is plenty running down the brook here as the deluge of rain has cleaned the milking parlour right out.

Posted by The Englishman at 5:23 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 10, 2009

Out Hunting today

A big thanks to a reader of this blog for filling me up with hot sausages and port and then taking me out to follow hounds on foot (too snowy for the gee gees). I managed to avoid having to tramp very far, staying nice and warm as my little Wiltshire built wagon bounced round the tracks. I had a great time for which I give many thanks. I didn't manage to capture any decent photos so here is one from last week of the hills above my place, taken from a moving car...

Posted by The Englishman at 8:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Cutting out eBay

Change to policy regarding sale of knives on eBay.co.uk and eBay.ie

All knives except cutlery will be banned from sale on eBay.co.uk and eBay.ie.
This will impact UK, Irish and international sellers who currently list knives for sale to buyers on the eBay.co.uk and eBay.ie sites.
...However, the criteria for what constitutes a legal knife are increasingly complex, and this step is necessary to help further protect our members and provide them with the highest safety standards.

For this protection and help thank the BBC...

At least it helped me make up my mind that I needed a second Bear Claw knife and that I really ought to get on with buying a bayonet for the Lee Metford that has a scabbard...

Posted by The Englishman at 4:34 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

February 7, 2009

Snowman Outrage - Phocomelics up in arms (if they could)

Are they taking the piss? Everywhere you look there are crude caricatures mocking the disabled - we demand an apology an angry phocomelus pressure group demanded. Are the Distillers behind it?
Where is the Sunday Times insight team when you need it?

Ht FD

Posted by The Englishman at 1:02 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 6, 2009

Friday Night is Music Night (Unpolished Love Song Edition)

What with St Valentine's Day around the corner and the demand for more English music here's a bonus track to make up for the Wurzels...

Posted by The Englishman at 9:36 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Snow Clearing Competition

Through the good offices of Tim Worstall my observations about how snow clearance in these rural parts used to happen were, via Nigel Farage, broadcast to the audience of Question Time (first response to first question). Briefly I pointed out that in the bad old days lots of small contractors were given the job using their own equipment.
One point I didn't make was that this ensured there was competition to actually clear the snow. I remember being up at five and racing round the lanes finding snow to clear before the other farmers finished milking and came out with their diggers. I cleared more snow than them earlier so I got paid more.
Of course now the council only allow their own staff to clear roads this keenness to clear roads is no longer; in the case of the roads around here the council didn't clear the roads today and nobody else was allowed to so nothing happened.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:22 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Friday Night is Music Night (Yokel Request Edition)

The worrying thing is I actually talk like that....
The short version if you have better things to do:

Posted by The Englishman at 4:44 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

An English Gentleman's Sartorial Advice for Inclement Weather

Your overcoat will of course be made of wool, hand spun by some crofter; as it gets wet it gets warmer unlike those plastic jobbies unemployed bankers wear on shoots. And it goes without saying it will have a button under the right hand lapel so you can use the left hand button hole to close the gap.

The additional button under the collar that you noticed is also on the otherside. This is for the detachable gorget, pictured below safely stored inside the coat for warmer times.

It is harder in these slap dash times to ensure that your tailor has created proper turned up buttoned cuffs. They should unbutton and fold back in so that the silk lining can be rebuttoned with the extra buttons tightly around the wrist. If your Primark version is missing this take it back.

And of course no fashion article would be complete without it being modelled:

I'll be wearing it down to the pub at lunchtime....

Posted by The Englishman at 8:34 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 5, 2009

The D word

The d-word heard round the world | Coffee House

It isn't just Gordon Brown who was having trouble yesterday with the d-word. Depression is unspeakable, it is almost as bad as the n word or c word or even the g word, as Carol found out.

I had to go and see the Saw-bones yesterday about my tinnitus. A condition that can contribute to the depression, officially. But he couldn't bring himself to mention it, skirting round asking whether I was a bit low, was it getting to me...etc etc. He looked up in his easy guide to drugs any possible remedies and of course Valium is mentioned because it relaxes the ear muscles, but he ummed and aahed and said he would ask a senior partner if anything might help. He didn't dare mention it to me presumably in case I became "officially" depressed, or a raving drug addict or both.
And of course I don't want to be "officially" depressed as Plod will be round emptying the gun cabinet quicker than they can sprint down a tube station. And it doesn't make me depressed, a bit short of sleep and a bit irritable maybe, but then what is new?

(And to extend the apology to music lovers it means Friday night will continue to feature thrashy loud music sometimes. I have always been tone deaf - my bluetooth in car phone thingy plays three tones to indicate if it is turning on or off, the manual tells me the tones go up when it goes on and down as it goes off - I can't tell the bloody difference so I never know if it is off or on. And don't get me started about the difference between 5/4 time and the ticking of a clock; like a drummer i have hung around with musicians and they have patiently explained it to me, I have never managed to hear what they are on about. I may miss out aurally but I'm a Supertaster so my oral pleasures are intense and the joy of scent, heaven.)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:16 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Hunting Act Appeal - Good News For Everyone

Victory claimed by both sides after hunting ruling - Times Online
The Crown Prosecution Service then asked the High Court to clarify the law. Yesterday Sir Anthony May, President of the Queen’s Bench Division of the High Court, and Mr Justice Maddison ruled that ... the burden of proof that a huntsman’s activities were not classed as exempt from the Act lay with the prosecution.

The CPS had argued that such a ruling would make the Act “wholly unworkable”.

And that's why it is good news for everyone - innocent until proven guilty and all that guff, up to the prosecution to prove guilt not the accused to prove innocence and other old fashioned ideas, the sort of rule we rather like.

(And yes it is good news even for scruffy individuals who like to dress up in second hand camo gear and go round the country blowing horns and pouring aniseed over Nicholas Soames, all good fun and unless it is provable they are committing a crime they should be free to carry on doing it.)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:57 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 3, 2009

Sword Play

Mr Free Market muses on knives and sabres.... Of course I must point out the statutory message that carrying a knife is neither big nor clever and if you think it will impress a girl then you are completely wrong, er...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:25 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Obligatory The Day The Music Died Post

Why Buddy Holly will never fade away - Telegraph

And not forgetting Richie Valens and the Big Bopper.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:27 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

February 2, 2009

Phone Votes Required - An Englishman's Bleg

You may remember that I publicised a book that was in preparation about amazing objects that make life worth living

This was my entry:

A telephone handset. Wonderful as they are for keeping us in touch with our family, friends and timeshare salesmen that is not why I have chosen it. It is no ordinary handset. It is an American one, it came from the command bunker of Greenham Common. It is through this handset that the coded orders would have passed that would have unleashed nuclear war. A few words listened to on it would have meant the end of civilisation as we knew it. We still face threats to our security but the black cloud of the Cold War hotting up which hung over a generation is now history. And that this telephone handset is no longer ready for use is something that makes life a lot better.

It has come to voting time now and I'm asking you to stoke my vanity by voting for it on their site. Voting continues until the 13th.

Remember Vote for The Phone, Thank you!

Posted by The Englishman at 9:29 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

January 30, 2009

A Hero for our Times

It was with great sadness back last year that we learned of the death of George MacDonald Fraser and that no more Flashman Papers would come to light. I read them all over the summer and thought I had closed the door on ever reading of such a hero again. So it is with great excitment and pleasure, and thanks to a reader for pointing it out to me, that I learn that the exploits of a modern hero are being discussed on the Internet -
The Baron of Castleshort - ARRSEpedia, James Shortt, Major Lucien Ott, The Baron Castleshort, IBA, International Bodyguard Association, Protection, Close Protection, Walter Mitty, Knight of St Gregory, McCarthy Mor, Royal Galloglas Guard, SAS, Parachute Regiment, Royal Marine, Commando, Legion of Frontiersmen, Minders, Security, Training, Bodyguard, BodyGuards, training, Security training, Escort, Protective driving, Communication, Improved Explosive Devices, Persoonsbeveiliging, IED, Close Quarter Battle, CQB, Paramedicine, Baltic, Riga, AGS, AGS Groep, Remy de Jong, FWE, FreightWatch, AGS-Freightwatch, Cargo Security, Freight, Security, Gargo, Surveilance, ESMC, E.S.M.C., Tracking, Tracing, Controlroom, Meldkamer, GPS, FWE, FWG, group, Freightwatch group, Investigation, europain security management centre, the cargo security company, audit, training, education, Havenbeveiliging, Alarm, Centrale, Vlaardingen, Meldkamer, Service centrale, PAC, Particuliere AlarmCentrale, Callcenter, Eurowatch, TAPA, Lockpick, slotenmakers, sleutelservice, Meldkamer Vlaardingen

Posted by The Englishman at 7:45 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Friday Night is Music Night (Guess the Bass Player Edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:22 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

One of my readers spotted on Google Streetview

526 7th st rapid city SD - Google Maps

Baseball cap, Harley-Davidson sweatshirt, jeans and cowboy boots and walks the mean streets of the Land of the Free with a hunting rifle while swigging from a bottle of hard liquor. H/t The Register

and one of Mr FM's Readers seems to have been driving the vehicle....

Posted by The Englishman at 4:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Helping you out

I'm off out today to be fiscally stimulated by the Taxpayer, free lunch provided. I only do these things because my country needs me. I hope it is as much fun as it sounds.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:46 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 27, 2009

Any Excuse II

Alcohol improves a man's sexual performance in bed - study - Telegraph

Those at greatest risk of poor performance in bed were heavy drinkers who had stopped drinking,..

Well don't stop then, just don't spill the tinny on the bedcover.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:44 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 26, 2009

Any Excuse

Kylie Minogue's Agent Provocateur commercial voted best cinema ad ever - Telegraph

'nuff said...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 23, 2009

Friday Night is Music Night (Readers Request Edition)

Fred Lincoln "Link" Wray Jr (May 2, 1929 – November 5, 2005) was an American rock and roll guitarist, songwriter and occasional singer.

The menacing sound of "Rumble" (and its title) led to a ban on several radio stations, a rare feat for a song with no lyrics, on the grounds that it glorified juvenile delinquency. Nevertheless it became a huge hit, not only in the United States, but also Great Britain,...

Posted by The Englishman at 5:15 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Death Defying

Illusionist nearly drowns attempting to escape water tank on Uri Geller show - Telegraph

Unable to escape, the tank filled up with water and she was completely under for around 25 seconds.

A whole 25 seconds! Oh My God how close to death was that? How close to real journalism is this PR puff? Was The Telegraph a real paper once that employed real journalists?

Posted by The Englishman at 6:39 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 22, 2009

An Object Lesson

All this makes life worth living - competition

Dorling Kindersley are producing a phenomenal book of wonders that will feature a vast array of astonishing items that add something to the world we live in. ...We're giving you the opportunity to be a part of this incredible project. We want you to tell us about your object and why its story or what it represents is so extraordinary and makes life worth living.
To enter you need to email us at AllThisBook@uk.dk.com with an image of your object and a maximum of 100 words on what makes it so worthy of a place in this fantastic new book. The competition closes at midnight, Wednesday 28th January. T&Cs Apply

Here's my entry:

A telephone handset. Wonderful as they are for keeping us in touch with our family, friends and timeshare salesmen that is not why I have chosen it. It is no ordinary handset. It is an American one, it came from the command bunker of Greenham Common. It is through this handset that the coded orders would have passed that would have unleashed nuclear war. A few words listened to on it would have meant the end of civilisation as we knew it. We still face threats to our security but the black cloud of the Cold War hotting up which hung over a generation is now history. And that this telephone handset is no longer ready for use is something that makes life a lot better.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:46 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

January 21, 2009

Ready, Aim, Fiddle about with a bloody touchscreen and then fire...

Sniper rifle software launched for iPod touch - Telegraph

Pah - I think I will stick to the volley sights on my Lee Metford

Posted by The Englishman at 6:59 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

January 18, 2009

Another bit of my childhood dies

BBC NEWS | UK | TV presenter Tony Hart dies at 83

The artist served as an officer in the 1st Gurkha Rifles in World War II, before joining a course at Maidstone College of Art.

Posted by The Englishman at 11:36 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Is that a bank roll in your pocket or are just pleased to see me?

Wealthy men give women more orgasms - Times Online
Scientists have found that the pleasure women get from making love is directly linked to the size of their partner’s bank balance.
They found that the wealthier a man is, the more frequently his partner has orgasms.

As Mrs Merton famously asked Debbie McGee, "So, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"

In other research today:

Playing hard to get increases a woman's chance of finding a "good" man, mathematicians have found. - Telegraph

No, sorry, that is Mathematicians making excuses for why they never pull....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:08 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 16, 2009

Friday Night is Music Night (グロリア Edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 4:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 13, 2009

I'm not worthy

Thanks Coz

Posted by The Englishman at 6:48 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 11, 2009

Ginger Bullet Magnet Targetted

Prince Harry: 'I'm not ginger. I'm auburn' - Telegraph

So the 'Ranga' (orang-utan) is being castigated for opening his carroty mouth and using a word that might cause offence because it is based on a person's colour - something none of his critics have ever done about the Tango Top, have they?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:15 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

January 9, 2009

Friday Night is Music Night (Punk Beginnings Edition)

15/09/1974

26-06-1977

And that's how it all started, amazing what a few years of practice does....

Posted by The Englishman at 4:57 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 6, 2009

Washed in The Blood of the Lamb

Vicar orders removal of 'unsuitable' crucifix from church - Telegraph
Rev Souter, formerly a cell biologist, said: "The crucifix expressed suffering, torment, pain and anguish. It was a scary image, particularly for children.

"We're all about hope, encouragement and the joy of the Christian faith. We want to communicate good news, not bad news, so we need a more uplifting and inspiring symbol than execution on a cross."

Any bets that the Thursday Evening Growth Groups feature guitars and happy clapping? Weedy infantile all-things-bright-and beautiful content free religion, pah! Religion is about trying to make sense of death, pain and suffering or it is nothing at all.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:43 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Vote Early

Best Medical/Health Issues Blog - The 2008 Weblog Awards Vote for Junkfood Science - once a day for a week from now.

Best Science Blog - The 2008 Weblog Awards Vote for Watts Up with That or Climate Audit - hard choice, I think as the new comer and to avoid splitting the vote the former probably.

There are about three thousand other categories - Iain or Guy in UK blog etc but don't miss voting for The Reference Frame in the European bunch.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:30 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 5, 2009

Official Go Back to Work After Christmas Day

Gordon Brown's Version:

Mine as I'm off out into the dark with snow on the ground...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:24 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 2, 2009

I think Mr Remittance Man has been at the vodka judging by this comment just left here....

Hello!
I burning in one stingy stingy village, in Stavropol Territory. Dont skilled in as there in greater cities, and at us in all sketch, ergo is felt and to buy really difficultly something, except for kerosene and matches, and with space for really by no means :( Here so I masterpiece in the next secondary village as the tractor manager + in suspension excavator manoeuvrer (at us one tractor and one dredge, a facilities secondary, ergo I with all manage), conformably and problems with machines I should explain all. And here recently, the caterpillar has in disadlawful on a dredge, all our masters pull someone's leg told, that to adrighteous is not a subject. And with inform ons at us by no means, and furthermore with bones in some measures for a dredge. I to the heads, they pull someone's leg told, a quay of lolly we shall admit defeat out on surplus icipation and where to overcharge search itself, the column is your problems. And me that? exertion to mislay it would not be worthy, began to search, and here lawful the daughter has arrived with the guy, and it at it there a computer is (on it I by the way now and I take down) and here it to me has advised to buy lanky in some measure in the Internet work. But in one way I to these do not confidence in all the Internet to magnates, whether and furthermore if what to support (Spam Site link here) :( me impel, satisfy, it is compelling to hand over the Internet-inform ons or there is stock- what produce, who can desire influence, where it is preferably to buy? completely much I predisposition to informed entertain impartial responses/advice so to say humble people, the anyway consumers, as I.

Don't ask me what it means, I'm not a suspension excavator master....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:58 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Friday Night is Music Night (God's God Edition)

Robert Johnson

As Clapton says:

"The blues played a crucial role in the birth of rock and roll. It had a particularly dramatic effect in post-war England, as merchant seaman returned home with this exotic music from the United States. Like The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who and countless other British rock musicians, Eric Clapton was enthralled with the American blues records that he heard on the BBC. In the grooves of the vinyl discs, he recognized kindred spirits. These artists expressed the same sense of heartache and loss which Eric often felt in his own life. Although he listened to a wide variety of blues records, it was Johnson who made the strongest impression on him. Clapton once declared; "Robert Johnson to me is the most important blues musician who ever lived." Judging by this unabashed admiration, it is therefore hardly surprising that Clapton chose to record "Crossroads", as well as several other songs by Johnson. Despite the obvious differences between these two individuals, they seem to be cut from the same ragged cloth. So decades after the bluesman's death, Clapton still carries on his legacy. His own music now exudes the same raw passion and commitment which once flowed out from Johnson's haunting guitar."

Posted by The Englishman at 5:02 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 1, 2009

2008 Statpron

321,161 Visits
234,100 Absolute Unique Visitors
419,187 Pageviews

According to Google analytics - and why this number is wrong...

And which of my pithy insights into the madness of modern politics, the unfolding story of the real science of climate change or the customs and mores of Englishmen was the most popular post....?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:56 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Reasons to be Cheerful

Welcome to 2009 - Darwin Year
2009 sees the bicentenary of Darwin’s birth and the 150th anniversary of the publication of his seminal work, ‘On the Origin of Species’

Contemplate a tangled bank,
clothed with many plants of many kinds,
with birds singing on the bushes,
with various insects flitting about,
and
with worms crawling through the damp earth:
these elaborately constructed forms
have all been produced by laws
acting around us.
Thus, the war of nature,
from famine and death,
the production of higher animals
directly follows.
There is grandeur in this view of life:
whilst the planet has gone
cycling on according to
the fixed law of gravity,
from so simple a beginning
endless forms most beautiful and
most wonderful have been
and are being
evolved.

- Charles Darwin

Of course Darwin wasn't the only important liberator born on 12th February 1809, there was some American Illinois Lawyer who we will also be bored of by the years end, but he is the most important because he freed our minds from medieval superstition which still has its deadly hold over vast swarths of humanity.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:41 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 31, 2008

As a row of tents.

O tempora o mores!

Back from a bracing walk across frozen fields to a mug of Camp made with steaming hot milk and a large tot of Navy Rum in it. Sheer bliss. It must be the seaman in me....
Steady as she goes, Number One....

Posted by The Englishman at 3:58 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

New Year's Eve Reflections

2008 - what a shitty year, the triumph of statism in the financial world, the unrelenting advance of the EU, the continued repression by the Carbonistas, Gordon Brown, The Messiah being elected in the US, St Tony and bloodshed in the Levant, troops in the hot sandy places for no sensible reason, Gordon Brown again, and David Cameron, the bloody Olympics, Boris being castrated so he could win, I can't think of a good word to say about the year except that we are still here in reasonable health and so are most of our friends.

Let's hope for a better 2009. Enjoy the rest of the year, and the extra second...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:37 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 30, 2008

Why I'm a conservative

A surfeit of festive optimism combined with the kind offer of help from an expert encouraged me to try to update this blog. New content management engine, new version of movabletype, a helpful hand to guide me through. Many hours of fiddling and tweaking and bollocks. The new versions aren't as user friendly as the old. I'm sure they have lots of super new features but I don't need them, the old works pretty well and I know my way around it. I have lost too many hours to trying to understand the new, and my very helpful friend has put even more hours in. I feel ungrateful to him by turning all the new stuff off but it was either that or never blog again. So my New Year's resolution is as always; if it ain't broken don't fix it.
(And when this creaking old system finally turns up its toes well, that will be that.)

Posted by The Englishman at 7:09 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

December 25, 2008

Happy Christmas

Now that's one you've not seen before....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:11 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 24, 2008

Brussels Sprouts and Pine Cones Make Christmas Interesting

Science News / The Mathematical Lives Of Plants

The Fibonacci numbers tend to crop up wherever the golden ratio appears, because the ratio between two consecutive Fibonacci numbers happens to be close to the golden ratio. The larger the two Fibonacci numbers, the closer their ratio to the golden ratio. But this relationship doesn't fully explain why parastichy numbers end up being consecutive Fibonacci numbers.
Scientists have puzzled over this pattern of plant growth for hundreds of years....

As you struggle to engage in the tedium of Christmas behold the sprout stalk or the festive pine cones and observe and wonder, let others debate Tom, Rachel and Lisa, let your mind be on higher things.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:00 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 23, 2008

Free MP3s - A Xmas Gift To You

£3 to spend on anything in the Amazon.co.uk: MP3 store on Christmas Day and Boxing Day. Visit on December 25 or 26, then just add your chosen MP3s to your Shopping Basket (you need to use the Shopping Basket rather than 1-Click) and enter code FREEMP3S at the checkout--£3 will be deducted from the total. And why not spread the Christmas love? Send a link to this page http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/browse.html/ref=pe_09/?node=77197031 to friends and family members and they can get £3 off too.

(Conditions apply - only valid Dec 25th 26th etc.)

Posted by The Englishman at 8:19 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Free Choice at Christmas

Shopping on Christmas Day is sacrilege | Melanie McDonagh - Times Online

And if I hear anyone say that it's a matter of individual choice, that no one is forcing anyone to shop online, I'll push their heads into a bowl of punch and hold it down for a very long time. If half the world is doing its online bargain chasing when they might be quarrelling with the in-laws, getting drunk, overcooking the turkey or stabbing themselves with scissors in an effort to open packaging, it has an effect on everyone.

Given the choice I know which sounds more attractive ; If anyone wants me I'll be here on Christmas Day....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:52 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Recession shopping benefits

`Lipstick effect' in full swing, sales of cosmetics rising economists say - Telegraph

Tie sales on the rise as men fear the sack - Telegraph

If times are tough, then let them eat cake (and crisps as well) - Scotsman.com News

Brands offering "comfort and nostalgia" are thriving at a time when purse-strings are being drawn. The likes of Walkers crisps and Mr Kipling cakes proved popular at the checkouts, while healthier products with heftier price tags, such as ready-mixed fruit smoothies, fared less well.

Everyone looking a bit smarter and proper food, it isn't all bad you know.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:56 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Not much on the Telly

BBC broadcaster Adrian Chiles is the most-seen man on television - Times Online

Adrian Chiles, the BBC broadcaster known for his blokeish demeanour and lucrative TV contracts, was the most-seen man on television this year. If I’m the most watched person, all I can say is there can’t be much else on television,” Chiles told The Times. Philip Schofield and Noel Edmonds were in second and third place. “I bet Ant and Dec are hurting now."
And the rest of the top ten are;
4 Fern Britton
5 Davina McCall
6 Dermot O’Leary
7 Ant & Dec
8 Gary Lineker
9 Holly Willoughby
10 Paul O’Grady

How many of them do you watch?, I thought so.....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:50 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 21, 2008

Lives of the rich and famous

A Life in the Day: Max Levchin, virtual genius - Times Online

Croissants are an occasional treat! You are 33, rich as Croesus and you are happy with a pastry as a treat......not a showgirl, bottle of this, line of that and baby oil on tap to be seen... what a waste.

Posted by The Englishman at 3:27 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 19, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Retro Xmas Edition)

(Now that choice will upset a few....)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Nigella's urges have made me into white trash

On the AGA this morning white trash ham baked in coca cola - yum.
Nigella says : I simply cannot urge you to try this strongly enough.

And who am I to refuse....

Posted by The Englishman at 10:13 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

An Okuri-okami Writes

Toujours Tingo: Weird words and bizarre phrases - Telegraph
Sjostygg: Norwegian for someone so ugly the tide refuses to come in if they stand on the shore.
Layogenic: Filipino for someone good-looking from afar but ugly up close.

Layogenic - we have all been there; there should also be a word for hags with gorgeous hair, you follow a trim figure with luxuriant flowing locks and as you pass expecting the pleasure of a fresh smiling face you are shocked by a wrinkled hook nosed witch. It quite ruins my day.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:53 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

December 17, 2008

No News Day

The Telegraph online news page is blank.

And The Times is lost in hyperspace - and I'm off down to the land of Chucklehead Cider for the day (incidentally the best and almost the only cider I drink since since I worked on a cider farm nearly thirty years ago.)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:58 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 12, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Compare and Contrast Edition)

Can you get them both playing in sync?

Posted by The Englishman at 6:38 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 10, 2008

The Feck Effect

What the feck! Ad gets the all-clear - Scotsman.com News

THE word "feck" dates back the 1500s, when it was used in Scotland to mean "effect" – the opposite of the modern day word "feckless", meaning weak.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 9, 2008

Mr FM in Texas

Mr Free Market spent last week as guests of the du Toits, and I have a photo...

Posted by The Englishman at 10:19 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Blog Job Offer

I note I'm way behind with updates to the software that runs this blog and also the template is maybe a bit tired. I don't have the time or knowhow to update either, is there any reader who would care to help for a small recompense?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:44 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 7, 2008

Life is too short to listen to rubbish

The 100 best records of 2008 - Times Online

Nope, not one, not a single one of them do I want to buy, a couple I wouldn't turn off if they came on the wireless, but the rest are an insult to my intelligence. Am I getting old?

Posted by The Englishman at 6:20 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 5, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Not Mama Edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The Name Fits

The Atlas of True Names - Telegraph

Etymologists and wordsmiths will take particular interest in a new set of maps going on sale in time for Christmas.
The Atlas of True Names replaces the traditional names of the world's cities, countries, rivers and mountains with new ones to reflect their origins and literal meaning.

Down here in Wiltshire I don't think I will be buying a copy - I live in a cup shaped hollow between two long outstretched limbs of hills, and it's name begins C*n. Nearby there is the "Swallowhead" spring; in fact the whole Kennet district is alive to the C*nt phoneme - (I often pronounce "Kennet", as in Kennet District Council without the second e...)

I reproduce part of a scholarly article below the fold - naughty language alert:

Cunt: Etymology [matthewhunt.com]

The rivers Kent (formerly Kenet) and Cynwyd share Kennet's etymology, and, as Michael Dames explains, Kennet's link to 'cunt' is readily apparent: "we may yet rediscover the Kennet as Cunnit, and the Swallowhead as Cunt. The name of that orifice is carried downstream in the name of the river. Cunnit is Cunnt with an extra i. As late as 1740, the peasants of the district had not abandoned the name [...] The antiquity of the form is clearly shown by the Roman riverside settlement called Cunetio - their principal town in the entire Kennet valley" (1976).

Posted by The Englishman at 7:55 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

50 Years ago today

Hello, is that Edinburgh? It's your Queen calling – and one dialled all by one's self - Scotsman.com News
WHEN she picked up the receiver on this day half-a-century ago, the Queen changed the way the people of the UK communicated with each other.
Sat beside Prince Philip in Bristol's central telephone exchange, surrounded by dignitaries and their wives, with great ceremony she dialled an Edinburgh number and uttered the words: "This is the Queen speaking from Bristol. Good afternoon, my lord provost."

It was the first long-distance phone call in the UK made without the help of an operator.

It almost makes me feel old, even though I'm not fifty I can remember tapping the phone rest and asking the operator for a number, kids today they wouldn't believe it....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:01 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

The Funniest Adverts Ever

Kung-fu bear fights way to top of advert charts - Scotsman.com News

Third place went to the 1989 Hamlet cigar advert starring Gregor Fisher,..

I didn't know that the salmon advert was filmed in Scotland, maybe Sarah Palin is actually from Inverness.

But the dear old Scotsman still hasn't got the new media because where are the links to the adverts? Don't worry I have done it for you below the fold (even the naughty tobacco one).

Posted by The Englishman at 6:44 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 3, 2008

An Appeal

Justgiving - Matt Trigg - Amalfi Trek Challenge - a little fat pink person wants to get roasted and exhausted in a good cause and he wants your help.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:56 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 1, 2008

BT Privacy Bollocks

BT.com Privacy policy

We are serious about guarding the security of your personal information and the details of any transactions made. We take appropriate organisational and technical security measures to protect your data against unauthorised disclosure or processing. We use a secure server to store the information you give us when you register or make an order (including your credit card details and your password). Any personal data you send us on-line is securely encrypted.
Please note that your billing account number is a sensitive piece of information, which can be used with your telephone number to find out information about your use of BT's services....

I'm on BT Braodband here and over the weekend responded to an email about renewing. I get an email back today in plain text with the following footer - the XXXXX are what I have put in as in the email they are unencrypted for anyone to see. Advice as to what I should do please...

Original Message Follows:
------------------------
/*******************************
* BT_EmailTitle: {null};
* BT_Subject: {Broadband resigns};
* BT_Message: {null};
* BT_Title: {};
* BT_Firstname: {XXX};
* BT_Surname: {XXXXX};
* BT_ContactPreference: {null};
* BT_EmailAddress: {XXXXXXX};
* BT_AccountNumber: {null};
* BT_TelNumber: {null};
* BT_UserName: {null};
* BT_ContactTelNumber1: {XXXXXXX};
* BT_ContactTelNumber2: {null};
* BT_OriginatingForm: {null};
* BT_Browser: {null};
* BT_CustomerPreviousPages: {null};
* BT_DestinationEmail: {null};
* BT_Customer_Classification: {null};
* BT_Customer_Category: {null};
* BT_VIPType: {null};
* BT_Reference Number: {null};
* BT_xxmessagetag: {null};
* BT_zzsource: {null};
*******************************/

Posted by The Englishman at 3:18 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

November 28, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (One of Kim's All Time American Favourites Edition)

Sheer Music of an American in England

Thanks Kim for everything.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:03 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 23, 2008

The Best of Blog Archiving

A very kind chap of the name John Murphy has a whizzy idea to offer the best of blogs as pdfs. He did a trial run on this blog - BestofAEC2008.pdf . A warning, whilst I would have thought the best of this blog would easily fit on a beer mat the file he produced is 7.5 MB. You will need to slaughter a small flock to produce the vellum you will want to print it out on.

One or two small issues with the format on his trial run but generally I think it is great. And as a sop to my vanity even better. If you have a similar yearning or idea then John can be contacted on johnpiersmurphy At google mail DOTCOM

Posted by The Englishman at 10:07 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 22, 2008

Something for the weekend Sir?

Happy hours and drinking games to be banned under new laws - Telegraph

Happy hours, drinking games and all-you-can-drink deals in pubs and bars will be banned, The Daily Telegraph can disclose.

Controversial food scraps bin scheme for all households - Telegraph

Every household in the country could soon be required to keep a separate bin for food scraps as a new scheme to reduce landfill is rolled out across the country.

Alistair Darling to signal future tax rises to pay for Government's borrowing - Telegraph

Britain colder than Moscow as Arctic snap brings snow as far south as Kent - Telegraph

Oh Happy Day!

Posted by The Englishman at 1:07 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

November 21, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Average Night in the Bar Edition)

That dates me...

Posted by The Englishman at 5:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Google Searchwiki Is Here

Google's SearchWiki allows users to personalise their results - Times Online

The new feature, which is being rolled out in the next few hours..

That explains all those arrows and crosses on my search results - I thought my eyes were still bleary from last night....

So if I do a simple innocent trial search - kinky katie holmes - Google Search - Wow! Look! I can promote my site.
What japes!

Posted by The Englishman at 6:53 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 18, 2008

Be Prepared

I'm off to London alone this morning for a couple of days. The car is prepared, tyres checked, fluid levels checked, in the boot some de-icer and a window scraper in case of ice and a decent length of rope, well just in case.....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:36 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

November 14, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (I dreamt I had a good job edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 12, 2008

Entry No.6666

Posted by The Englishman at 12:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Proper Kettles For Gentlemen

Lakeland Bushcraft Trading Limited - Kelly Kettles

Have you got one? If not proceed immediately to this site and purchase one. If you are out and about in the wilds you need one, how else are you going to make a mug of tea unless you have real boiling water? If you plan never to leave home you need one because with the official energy policy of these isles being based on whirligigs the power is going to fail increasingly often, and you need to have a mug of tea as you contemplate the insanity around you.
(And the site is run by a sound fellow who has neither asked nor paid for this).

Posted by The Englishman at 12:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 11, 2008

What's Cooking Tonight?

An unfortunate juxtaposition from Telegraph Online

Posted by The Englishman at 7:57 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 10, 2008

Just an old fashioned Wino....

Wonko’s World » Blog Archive » WINO Award #2
One island of sanity in the ocean of climate change madness

Posted by The Englishman at 5:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 7, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Gabba Gabba Hey Edition)

Blame my age...

Posted by The Englishman at 4:21 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 6, 2008

Fuelling a culture of cynicism and despair

The Big Question: Is Hazel Blears right to accuse political bloggers of undermining democracy? -
UK Politics, UK - The Independent

"Political blogs are written by people with disdain for the political system and politicians, who see their function as unearthing scandals, conspiracies and perceived hypocrisy," she said. Blears maintains that: "Until political blogging adds value to our political culture, by allowing new voices, ideas and legitimate protest and challenge, and until the mainstream media reports politics in a calmer, more responsible manner, it will continue to fuel a culture of cynicism and despair."

Sorry - I plead guilty - though it is hard to think how to "add value" to a system that allows people like her to be taken seriously, am I allowed to say that or am I fuelling a culture of cynicism and despair? I hope so because I am feeling full of cynicism and despair looking across the cesspits of modern politics.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:17 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

November 5, 2008

40 years of farming explained in one photo.

Forty years ago in 1968 this steel work was erected as part of the UK subsidised push for home food production. By the 1980s the barn was too small for industrialised agriculture and it fell into disuse. It was pulled down in the 1998 and the old granary turned into a Rockchick home. The steel work was left in a pile of nettles in case it came in useful. In 2008 it is being re-erected at a new site as a EU funded environmental measure to help prevent nitrates running into a river.
(In 2018 I expect it will have yet another use....)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:38 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

November 4, 2008

Toy Time

Two new toys arrived yesterday; a sparkly new Laptop and a new cutting torch for the Oxy-Acetylene. I didn't know which one to play with first....

Don't be stupid, of course I fired up the torch first...

Posted by The Englishman at 5:58 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

November 3, 2008

Clearing my desk

All to be unplugged and tidied up - I may be some time, excuse my silence.
(The hard drive is in a similar state and I'm busy tidying that at the same time - thank goodness external hard drives are cheap...)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:07 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 1, 2008

Proper Boots for Gentlemen

World War 1 Army Boots
Who needs fancy plastics and Gortex when proper bootmakers are still at their last?

Posted by The Englishman at 9:13 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

It's that time of year again when Wiltshire Yeomen remember

The Royal Wiltshire Yeomanry was mobilised in 1939. The next five years were to prove a time of unparalleled change, adventure, and above all – courage – for the Regiment. Beginning as horsed cavalry, the regiment was deployed to the Middle East, serving in Palestine, Iraq, Jordan, Syria and Egypt. Wiltshire Yeomen found themselves tasked as both searchlight crews and lorried infantry, before converting in late 1941 to Tanks.

Special mention should be made of the part the Royal Wiltshire Yeomanry played at the famous battle of El Alamein in October 1942. Under the command of the 9th Armoured Brigade, the regiment was equipped with a mixture of Sherman, Grant and Crusader tanks, and was tasked with supporting the 2nd New Zealand division in the initial assault on the German lines. Following heavy fighting, the regiment was reduced to just four serviceable tanks, and was withdrawn to reserve. Barely days later, with their tanks replaced or repaired, the Wiltshiremen were again in support of the New Zealanders as part of the final breakthrough, and during the bitter fighting that followed, the Regiment was again reduced to four serviceable tanks. In recognition of their gallant actions and the strong bonds that had been formed, the Royal Wiltshire Yeomanry - along with the Warwickshire Yeomanry and 3rd Hussars – was awarded the fern leaf insignia by the New Zealanders. This insignia is still displayed on the Squadron’s uniforms and vehicles today.

El Alamein

Lightfoot

The opening of the battle saw four divisions (9th Australian, 51st Highland, 2nd New Zealand and 1st South African) in the assault on the north of the Axis positions. RWY was in support of 5th New Zealand Brigade (Brigadier Howard Kippenberger) and the aim was for infantry to secure the Miteiriya Ridge during darkness, with the armour to pass beyond them at first light to establish a screen. By now the regiment was equipped with a mix of M4 Sherman, Crusader and Grant (M3 Lee) tanks. On the morning of 24 October 1942, A and C squadrons were ahead of the infantry on the western slopes of the ridge. B squadron had been delayed in the Devil's gardens minefields and had lost numerous tanks. Throughout that day, A and C squadrons engaged German panzers on the plain below, and were in turn hit by anti-tank fire. Initially, the heavier Sherman tanks were not vulnerable to this, but when the German 88mm anti-tank guns joined in they took severe casualties. By midday, the two squadrons were reduced to one Sherman and three Grants and the commanding officer had been badly wounded and evacuated. The 10th Armoured Division was at this stage supposed to pass through and onwards to start the breakout, but seemed to be reluctant to do so.[6]
At 6:00 p.m. the regiment was ordered to withdraw. It had lost almost all of its tanks and taken 42 casualties killed or wounded. In reserve, the regiment was issued with new tanks, a hasty mix of Shermans, Grants, and Crusaders (types II and III), mostly salvaged from the battlefield and rapidly repaired

Supercharge

On the night of 1st/2nd November 1942, the 8th Army attacked again in the north, with 2nd New Zealand Division in the lead. General Freyberg placed 151 Brigade on the right and 152 Brigade on the left. The aim was to attack directly westwards across the Rahman track, with the infantry leading the night assault and 9th Armoured Brigade (now commanded by Brigadier John Currie) again passing through to break the enemy gun line and allow X Corps to break out. The assault went to plan except that opposition on the left was heavier than expected which slowed the advance. As a result the advancing tanks were highlighted against the dawn sky in the east and began to be picked off by Axis anti-tank fire. The Regiment was in the centre of 9th Armoured Brigade, and the CO lost touch with both his artillery support and close anti-tank support. In the growing light, the B squadron commander (Major M.StJ.V.Gibbs) realised that he was in a ring of enemy anti-tank guns, ahead and to both flanks. He gave the order to 'Charge' and B squadron over-ran the anti-tank positions, losing some vehicles but destroying the enemy gun line.
Meanwhile 21st Panzer Division was counter-attacking A and C squadrons and at 4pm the Regiment (now down to four tanks) was withdrawn.
After the 9th Armoured Brigade's action, Brigadier Gentry of the 6th New Zealand Brigade went ahead to survey the scene. On seeing Brigadier Currie asleep on a stretcher, he approached him saying, 'Sorry to wake you John, but I'd like to know where your tanks are?' Currie waved his hand at a group of tanks around him, replying 'There they are.' Gentry was puzzled. 'I don't mean your headquarters tanks, I mean your armoured regiments. Where are they?' Currie waved his arm and again replied, 'There are my armoured regiments, Bill.

Posted by The Englishman at 12:11 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 31, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Lemmie says turn it up edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 7:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Dell Outlet - Don't bother trying to buy anything on a Friday afternoon.

Dell UK homepage - Computers, Computer equipment, electronics, and services. Trying to get through to Dell Outlet this Friday lunchtime I have been given four different excuses why they are closed:

It's the weekend
Technical issues - "can I quote you to say the computers are down?" -Yes.
Staff Meetings
Unintelligible - the call was being answered in India I guess.

I hope Michael Dell knows he is paying a bunch of part time wasters who are too busy on a jolly to take money. Sod them. I've bought elsewhere.

Posted by The Englishman at 1:44 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 26, 2008

Keep surfing - it's big and clever.

Keep clicking and you’ll be a snappy thinker - Times Online
The internet is changing the way the human brain works, researchers have found. It is improving people’s ability to make snap decisions and filter large amounts of information – but at the cost of subtle skills such as picking up the nuances of facial expression.

Well I never was any good at picking up the nuances of facial expression, if people want to tell me something, then bloody say it, or better still write me an email, don't expect me to work it out from your twitching eyebrows and sulky mouth. You're not an ape, you're a human, use bloody words. And leave me to make snap decisions and filter the morning news so I can make sarky comments as which politician deserves their neck broken in those few precious silent minutes at the start of the day.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 24, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (A good year for the roses edition)

In 1981 Elvis Costello released Almost Blue, an album of country music cover songs written by the likes of Hank Williams ("Why Don't You Love Me (Like You Used To Do?)"), Merle Haggard ("Tonight The Bottle Let Me Down") and Gram Parsons ("How Much I Lied"). The album was a tribute to the country music he had grown up listening to, especially, George Jones. Some avid fans dismissed the album because it was inconsistent with earlier recordings. It was not a country-rock album (a la The Byrds or Eagles), which might have been more palatable to his established audience and to reviewers, but rather an undiluted country album. It received mixed reviews, some of which accused Costello of growing soft. Perhaps in anticipation of the inevitable accusations of apostasy, the first pressings of the record in the UK bore a sticker with the message: "WARNING: This album contains country & western music and may cause offence to narrow minded listeners". Almost Blue did spawn a surprise UK hit single in a version of George Jones's "Good Year For The Roses" (written by Jerry Chesnut), which reached #6.

It was shocking and very brave, here was the epitome of cool punky songwriters doing something so uncool, and amazing.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:34 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 23, 2008

6:02 10/23 Mole Time

Happy Mole Day!

(Even Chemists have their little jokes)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 18, 2008

Remember, Remember

November 5th is my Wedding Anniversary so I'm thinking of going to London for a drink or two at lunchtime, and then in accordance with Government Health guidelines walking it off, and it looks like others may have the same idea...
The Devil's Kitchen: Going for a little walk...
For those wishing to take a stroll on the 5th November, I shall be taking suitable refreshment prior to my stroll from 11am onwards at

The Chandos
29 St Martins Lane,
Strand,
London,
WC2N 4ER

Here is a map.
See you there. It may well be your last chance.

Posted by The Englishman at 5:30 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Oh to be in England

Neatsfoot oil on the boots, fresh bread out the AGA for sandwiches, the gun safe opened and the old wooden stocks wiped down, the sun is shining, the sky clear and not a breeze to rustle the autumnal leaves. And I'm off shooting English Partridge on the top of the Marlborough Downs, and poor Mr FM is missing it...

Posted by The Englishman at 8:36 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

October 17, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Country Boy Edition)

As he has been upsetting the "left wing liberal media"....

Posted by The Englishman at 5:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 15, 2008

The Best A Man Can Get

Sexy maths: a calculating approach to love - Times Online

Without overcomplicating matters, mathematical analysis suggests that you should survey the scene for 37 per cent (1/e equals roughly 0.37) of the way through the period that you have set yourself to find a partner. Supposing that you start dating at the age of 16 and aim to find the best partner by the time you reach 60, this would take you to about the age of 32. Then you must choose the next partner who beats all the people you've dated up to that point. It's not going to guarantee you success, but this strategy maximises your chances. Just be sure not to show the formula to your new spouse: it never looks good to be too calculating when it comes to love.

Umm, I met the present Mrs Englishman when I was 32... thank goodness she never reads this.

Posted by The Englishman at 4:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 11, 2008

A Spoonful of Sugar

Sugar 'makes you sweeter' - Telegraph

"People with lower glucose levels are more likely to use stereotypes when describing others and, if they are high in prejudice, are more likely to make derogatory statements."
The researchers from Amsterdam University and Florida State University added: "When people engage in the act of trying to control public expressions of prejudice or the use of stereotypes, they consume the energy required for self-regulation.
"However, once the energy source is restored to normal levels, people regain the ability to control conscious responses towards others.

Which is why I always blog before I have had my breakfast and my Wheetybangs covered in dark Muscovado sugar - after that I'm the epitome of reasonableness and tolerance.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:51 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 10, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (No Guitars No.1 edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 8, 2008

Ave atque vale Flashman

Harry Paget Flashman VC, KCB, KCIE; Chevalier of the Légion d'Honneur; U.S. Congressional Medal of Honor; San Serafino Order of Purity and Truth, 4th Class.

Back in the spring I bought a complete set of his memoirs which I have read to the exclusion of all else, in order, during my weekly bath. I have just finished the last one and the thought that there will never be another new one to read is quite upsetting. If you haven't read at least a couple of them you are in for a treat.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:17 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 7, 2008

Home Thoughts From Abroad

As the financial world collapses around us I have been happy living in other times. Deep in a drawer I found a Red Cross drawstring bag my father brought back from his time as a POW in Germany, crammed full of photos, postcards, his paybook etc. Among the items was this copied out and sent to him as a comfort from home.

The Ten Commandments of Fox-hunting by Mr Young

Article I Every man shall present himself at the place of meeting quietly, suitably clothed and in good time. He who rides his hunter steadily thereto is better than he who uses a hack. He who drives tandem for display or who uses any manner of engine or machine, except as a necessity, is an abomination.

Article X And may all men, rich and poor, have equal rights and pleasures in the Chase if they devoutly agre to these articles.

Above me hangs his favourite print:

That Far Far Away Echo by Snaffles
In the early morning in the trenches, a soldier remembers his hunting days. Around him is his dream sequence.

What home thoughts from abroad comfort our troops now?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:09 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 5, 2008

This morning's hymn

On scanning the papers this morning and contemplating the scum who rule us, as the rain beats against the window sometimes an uplifting tune is needed...

And for those confirmed a longer service is available...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:29 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 4, 2008

An American in Paris

Bugger, a bloody Afro-american friend has suggested we join him et al for drinks in Paris at the New Year. Nothing I would like more, in fact I would happily sell a couple of wisdom teeth to fund the trip, but the snake suggests I bring the present Mrs Englishman as well. Again there is nothing I would prefer to do than parade my child bride through the debauched quarters of the Montmartre before tucking into the joys of raw meat and perfect chips in the company of valued friends. So it isn't the suggestion that I free Mrs E from her domestic servitude for a long weekend that has raised my goat but that everywhere Mrs E goes there goes also the Englishettes.The Englishettes who have been suckered into believing that Disneyland Paris is a veritable paradise on earth. For five long years I have persuaded them that the continent is isolated due to the fog and the unfortunate death of Archduke Franz Ferdinand and we are unable to visit. So how can I tell them that we are leaving them in the arms of the babysitter whose house is made of gingerbread and candy while we escape to forbidden treasures. It won't work. The first whisper of the the name of Paris will cause ten thousand requests to be launched to join us and divert us to the charms of Mickey.

I don't like leaving the parish but I want to go, it is just the small people who infest my house... what to do? And I can picture Mrs E and I in Paris already...

Posted by The Englishman at 1:14 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

October 3, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Modern Beat Combo Edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 26, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night ( Bristol Edition)

The kids in Bristol are sharp as a pistol
When they do the Bristol Stomp
Really somethin when they join in jumpin
When they do the Bristol Stomp

Whoa, whoa they start spinnin every Friday night
They dance the greatest and they do it right...

(No 2 son started at Bristol University today studying Animal Behaviour with pharmacology as an option.... Not sure what course he is on though.....)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:25 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

September 22, 2008

Smith Lawson and Company - The man in charge

I recently blogged about the duplicitous and misleading Smith Lawson and Company , the pretend debt collectors who are part of the Student Loan Company - which is wholly owned by the Secretary of State for Innovation, Universities and Skills and Scottish Ministers.

Having checked on the CV of the head man of the SLC I shouldn't have been surprised:

LOOK up Keith Bedell-Pearce in Who's Who and you will read that he is a distinguished solicitor with an impressive record in the boardrooms of some of Britain's top firms. His rewards from these years of service include a £3 million mansion.

But you will not read that he presided over the worst of the pensions and endowment misselling that has blighted the finance industry for the past two decades. ..He was the man in charge of Prudential's salesforce just when mis-selling of pensions and mortgage endowments reached its shameful peak in the late Eighties. ....

Posted by The Englishman at 8:46 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Words made to be used by agrestic oppugnant bloggers as they vilipend our olid leaders

How you can help to save some cherished words from oblivion - Times Online

Vilipend To treat or regard with contempt

Posted by The Englishman at 7:26 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

September 19, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Rebel a go-go edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 4:28 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

This site is banned in France

France ban on internet alcohol advertising hits industry - Times Online

France may be home to some of the world's finest wines but it could be about to join the tiny club of Muslim states that forbid their promotion on the internet.

Winemakers and other players in the drinks industry are fighting to avert a ban on advertising, sales and even vineyard websites that has been looming ever since a court ruled that the internet should be included in France's strict laws regarding alcohol advertising.

...drinks brands have shut out French visitors for fear of prosecution. “Today in France, the sight of a bottle of wine has become as offensive as a picture of war or pornography,”

Diageo demands sexy fake Guinness viral is pulled - Spoilsports.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 18, 2008

Tess

The filming of BBC drama Tess of the D'Urbervilles has taken place in Wiltshire.

They were filming in West Woods at Lockeridge back in the summer, all parked up in a layby I have often stopped in, many years ago, whilst I was kindly giving a popsy from the village a lift home after an evening out in Marlborough. I had to swallow hard to keep quiet on Sunday as I watched it, as the evil squire Alec D'Urberville give poor innocent Tess a lift back from the market town and stopped there to have his wicked way with her. I think I may have to sue.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 17, 2008

The Times - Missing in Action

Times Online - The Times and Sunday Times - claiming the site is very busy! Are they doing a much needed update on the piss poor website - it is about time as they have fallen far behind other papers in their usability.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:19 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 14, 2008

Sitemeter responds - rollsback changes

SiteMeter Rollback ｫ SiteMeter News & Announcements

We have received and heard your feedback concerning the latest changes to the website. We will implementing a rollback to the website immediately.

I can feel the pain - lets see if it returns to its old usable simplicity. I've been there with a software company when you have got it wrong, I can imagine the screaming and frantic activity as they have read the barrage of criticism. So praise to them for recognizing that their months of hard work, innovative thinking and big plans got it wrong so quickly. Don't you just love the way market pressure works - never hear a politician recant so quickly. I hope for their sake they manage to get it right quickly and salvage something from this debacle.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:02 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

The new SiteMeter is a stinking pile of crap

or as the more cultured and erudite put it: The Reference Frame: New SiteMeter is much less usable than the old one

Anyone know of a simple replacement that allows me to see referrers simply? - It is the only use I have for a sitemeter, to see if someone has linked and is sending lots of visitors over.

Posted by The Englishman at 1:34 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

September 12, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Howling Edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 8, 2008

Sky of blue and sea of green

Beatles music more than 'auditory cheesecake', scientists find - Telegraph

Scientists have discovered that even after more than 40 years, people can still vividly recall where they were and what they were doing when they first heard the Fab Four’s music.

Yep - going the the Marlborough Mop in 1966 and Yellow Submarine was playing, and I won a goldfish.

Magical.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:13 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 6, 2008

Local History for Local People

I was generously given by Richard Ozzard a large amount of All Cannings history to share on the web. I haven't had the time to reformat them for the web so here is a link to the file list.

The folder AC2000 contains his Millennial book which features histories of every house in All Cannings (see the 100MB Houses of the village.doc)

Other files include the Birth, Death and Marriage Registers for All Cannings from the earliest records up to 1997, The Daily School Log book from Victorian times (fascinating) and many other gems.

Posted by The Englishman at 4:13 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 5, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Another average night down the King's Arms edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Gloomy Friday - The Only Response

Weekend wash-out expected as severe storm drenches Britain - Telegraph
Car sales crash as economy hits skids - Times Online
Housing gloom deepens as prices plunge 12.7% - Times Online

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa .They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go up to the Smokies, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me