An Englishman's Castle

stale definition 2

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Friday Night is Music Night (European Decadence Edition)

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February 19, 2009

Dinton Street View

Driving through Dinton this afternoon I came up behind a strange car with a pole out the roof - a moments thought that it was an intrusive anti privacy cctv setup was dispelled when I noticed the small Google sign on it - Street View being clicked - I hope they didn't catch me eating my sandwich and talking on the phone as I drove along...

View Larger Map

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February 18, 2009

The Last Glacier in Wiltshire Melts and a History Lesson

Come back Mr Free Market the last glacier in Wiltshire is melting;

Where's Al Gore when you need him?

The circle you can see on the hill below is Rybury Camp, an ancient Neolithic fortification, which nearly became a bloody battlefield in 1944.

In December 1944 an audacious plan was hatched by Waffen SS officers and some Fallschirmjäger troops to break out of their camp in Devizes, Wiltshire and seize weapons, including tanks from a local army depot and march on London, all this was to coincide with the Ardennes offensive which was taking place in Europe. The Ardennes Offensive lifted the moral of many German prisoners as they though this would lead to their liberation but they were very much mistaken.

Their plan called for them to regroup after escape at Rybury Camp, await reinforcements and fight off any opposition.

Although the plan sounds ludicrous it caused the British some concern and not unfoundedly as there were around 250,000 prisoners in Britain (the equivalent of 48 divisions) at that time and the British and American forces stationed in Britain numbered considerably less as they were fighting in Europe and the Far East.

The huts were bugged and so the plan was discovered. On the night of The Great Escape at the appointed time the floodlights were turned on and revealed the camp ringed by Grenadier Guards who were stationed nearby. The easy going local guards were replaced that night by Polish troops, noted for their sensitivity towards Nazis.... The perpetrators were dealt with, being sent to Comrie Camp in Perthshire (Camp 21) in the wilds of Scotland which housed hard-line line Nazis (mainly young Waffen SS, Fallschirmjäger and U-boat crew prisoners) out of the way of other moderate prisoners. This did lead to one very unfortunate incident where Feldwebel Wolfgang Rosterg-a known anti-Nazi was sent by mistake. He was believed to have informed of the plot to march on London and after a severe beating was hanged in the latrine. Five prisoners were caught, tried and hanged in Pentonville Prison in North London on 6th October 1946. Another prisoner- Unteroffizer Gerhard Rettig was beaten to death for his open criticism of the plan and was beaten to death after being chased round the camp and two other prisoners were executed in November 1946 in Pentonville Prison.

Picture Credit Young Harry

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February 15, 2009

Top Blogging

A guide to the 100 best blogs - part I - Times Online

Yawn....

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February 13, 2009

Size Matters

Judge takes 12,000 words to rule that size does not matter - Telegraph

His conclusion clashes with that of Lord Denning, a former Master of the Rolls, who ruled that it only counted if it was at least seven inches....

Lord Denning was a good old country boy and I think in this case he knew what he was talking about, this ruling is going to cause a great deal of confusion if it is allowed to stand.

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Friday Night is Music Night (English Love Song Edition)

In the Summer of 1888, Edward Elgar and Alice Roberts were heading towards marriage. Edward decided on a holiday with his long-standing friend, Dr Charles Buck of Settle, Yorkshire. As he left Worcester, Alice presented Edward with a poem she had written and entitled Love's Grace. While on holiday in Settle, Edward reciprocated by writing a short piece of music for her, which he called Liebesgruss (Love's Greeting). The work carried the dedication "To Carice", a contraction of his future wife's forenames Caroline Alice with which they subsequently christened their daughter. On his return from Settle, Elgar presented the work to his wife and proposed to her. They married at the Brompton Oratory in South Kensington, London in May the following year.

Towards the end of 1888, Edward submitted three arrangements of the work - for solo piano, for violin and piano, and an orchestral arrangement - to the music publishing firm of Schott who agreed to buy the work outright for a fee of two guineas. At first, the work sold slowly. Apparently with Elgar's approval, Schott's retitled the work Salut d'Amour and gave the composer's name as Ed. Elgar, believing that the French title and a less obviously English composer would help the work gain wider international approval. It did, much to the publisher's satisfaction but with no financial benefit to Elgar.

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February 12, 2009

Get Your Origin of Species here...

I succumbed to temptation and put my copy up on eBay:

1882 Charles Darwin "The Origin Of The Species" on eBay (end time 12-Feb-09 17:58:07 GMT)

I feel a little bit guilty, but then as it only cost me £3 I didn't think it good enough to give to my son for his birthday present....

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Happy Birthday F, C and A

Alongside Charlie we also have that old Republican Abe and on a personal note a big Happy Birthday to the boy in Bristol.

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February 11, 2009

Call me a bigot but some multicultural ideas aren't for me

India makes cola from cow urine - Telegraph

Hindus worship cows for their life-sustaining dairy products, but many also consume bovine urine and faeces in drinks and spice mixes for their "health-giving" properties.
In some Indian states, cow dung and urine are sold in regular dairy shops alongside milk and yogurt, and "ayurvedic" Indian health food companies make porridge, toothpaste and tonic drinks which claim to cure ailments ranging from liver complaints to diabetes and cancer. The urine is also believed to have disinfectant properties while the dung is used in many Indian village huts as a clean and antiseptic flooring.
Now, the RSS's Cow Protection Department has invented a new urine-based soft drink it hopes will promote its health-giving properties to a wider market. "We refer to gau ark (cow urine) as gau jal (cow water) as it has immense potential to cure various diseases. We have developed a soft drink formula with gau jal as the base and it has been sent to a laboratory at Lucknow for testing," said director Om Prakash.
His team is now focusing on packaging, marketing, and of course preservation to stop its curative drink from going whiffy in the summer heat.

If they want some extra raw material there is plenty running down the brook here as the deluge of rain has cleaned the milking parlour right out.

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February 10, 2009

Out Hunting today

A big thanks to a reader of this blog for filling me up with hot sausages and port and then taking me out to follow hounds on foot (too snowy for the gee gees). I managed to avoid having to tramp very far, staying nice and warm as my little Wiltshire built wagon bounced round the tracks. I had a great time for which I give many thanks. I didn't manage to capture any decent photos so here is one from last week of the hills above my place, taken from a moving car...

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Cutting out eBay

Change to policy regarding sale of knives on eBay.co.uk and eBay.ie

All knives except cutlery will be banned from sale on eBay.co.uk and eBay.ie.
This will impact UK, Irish and international sellers who currently list knives for sale to buyers on the eBay.co.uk and eBay.ie sites.
...However, the criteria for what constitutes a legal knife are increasingly complex, and this step is necessary to help further protect our members and provide them with the highest safety standards.

For this protection and help thank the BBC...

At least it helped me make up my mind that I needed a second Bear Claw knife and that I really ought to get on with buying a bayonet for the Lee Metford that has a scabbard...

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February 7, 2009

Snowman Outrage - Phocomelics up in arms (if they could)

Are they taking the piss? Everywhere you look there are crude caricatures mocking the disabled - we demand an apology an angry phocomelus pressure group demanded. Are the Distillers behind it?
Where is the Sunday Times insight team when you need it?

Ht FD

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February 6, 2009

Friday Night is Music Night (Unpolished Love Song Edition)

What with St Valentine's Day around the corner and the demand for more English music here's a bonus track to make up for the Wurzels...

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Snow Clearing Competition

Through the good offices of Tim Worstall my observations about how snow clearance in these rural parts used to happen were, via Nigel Farage, broadcast to the audience of Question Time (first response to first question). Briefly I pointed out that in the bad old days lots of small contractors were given the job using their own equipment.
One point I didn't make was that this ensured there was competition to actually clear the snow. I remember being up at five and racing round the lanes finding snow to clear before the other farmers finished milking and came out with their diggers. I cleared more snow than them earlier so I got paid more.
Of course now the council only allow their own staff to clear roads this keenness to clear roads is no longer; in the case of the roads around here the council didn't clear the roads today and nobody else was allowed to so nothing happened.

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Friday Night is Music Night (Yokel Request Edition)

The worrying thing is I actually talk like that....
The short version if you have better things to do:

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An English Gentleman's Sartorial Advice for Inclement Weather

Your overcoat will of course be made of wool, hand spun by some crofter; as it gets wet it gets warmer unlike those plastic jobbies unemployed bankers wear on shoots. And it goes without saying it will have a button under the right hand lapel so you can use the left hand button hole to close the gap.

The additional button under the collar that you noticed is also on the otherside. This is for the detachable gorget, pictured below safely stored inside the coat for warmer times.

It is harder in these slap dash times to ensure that your tailor has created proper turned up buttoned cuffs. They should unbutton and fold back in so that the silk lining can be rebuttoned with the extra buttons tightly around the wrist. If your Primark version is missing this take it back.

And of course no fashion article would be complete without it being modelled:

I'll be wearing it down to the pub at lunchtime....

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February 5, 2009

The D word

The d-word heard round the world | Coffee House

It isn't just Gordon Brown who was having trouble yesterday with the d-word. Depression is unspeakable, it is almost as bad as the n word or c word or even the g word, as Carol found out.

I had to go and see the Saw-bones yesterday about my tinnitus. A condition that can contribute to the depression, officially. But he couldn't bring himself to mention it, skirting round asking whether I was a bit low, was it getting to me...etc etc. He looked up in his easy guide to drugs any possible remedies and of course Valium is mentioned because it relaxes the ear muscles, but he ummed and aahed and said he would ask a senior partner if anything might help. He didn't dare mention it to me presumably in case I became "officially" depressed, or a raving drug addict or both.
And of course I don't want to be "officially" depressed as Plod will be round emptying the gun cabinet quicker than they can sprint down a tube station. And it doesn't make me depressed, a bit short of sleep and a bit irritable maybe, but then what is new?

(And to extend the apology to music lovers it means Friday night will continue to feature thrashy loud music sometimes. I have always been tone deaf - my bluetooth in car phone thingy plays three tones to indicate if it is turning on or off, the manual tells me the tones go up when it goes on and down as it goes off - I can't tell the bloody difference so I never know if it is off or on. And don't get me started about the difference between 5/4 time and the ticking of a clock; like a drummer i have hung around with musicians and they have patiently explained it to me, I have never managed to hear what they are on about. I may miss out aurally but I'm a Supertaster so my oral pleasures are intense and the joy of scent, heaven.)

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Hunting Act Appeal - Good News For Everyone

Victory claimed by both sides after hunting ruling - Times Online
The Crown Prosecution Service then asked the High Court to clarify the law. Yesterday Sir Anthony May, President of the Queen’s Bench Division of the High Court, and Mr Justice Maddison ruled that ... the burden of proof that a huntsman’s activities were not classed as exempt from the Act lay with the prosecution.

The CPS had argued that such a ruling would make the Act “wholly unworkable”.

And that's why it is good news for everyone - innocent until proven guilty and all that guff, up to the prosecution to prove guilt not the accused to prove innocence and other old fashioned ideas, the sort of rule we rather like.

(And yes it is good news even for scruffy individuals who like to dress up in second hand camo gear and go round the country blowing horns and pouring aniseed over Nicholas Soames, all good fun and unless it is provable they are committing a crime they should be free to carry on doing it.)

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February 3, 2009

Sword Play

Mr Free Market muses on knives and sabres.... Of course I must point out the statutory message that carrying a knife is neither big nor clever and if you think it will impress a girl then you are completely wrong, er...

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Obligatory The Day The Music Died Post

Why Buddy Holly will never fade away - Telegraph

And not forgetting Richie Valens and the Big Bopper.

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February 2, 2009

Phone Votes Required - An Englishman's Bleg

You may remember that I publicised a book that was in preparation about amazing objects that make life worth living

This was my entry:

A telephone handset. Wonderful as they are for keeping us in touch with our family, friends and timeshare salesmen that is not why I have chosen it. It is no ordinary handset. It is an American one, it came from the command bunker of Greenham Common. It is through this handset that the coded orders would have passed that would have unleashed nuclear war. A few words listened to on it would have meant the end of civilisation as we knew it. We still face threats to our security but the black cloud of the Cold War hotting up which hung over a generation is now history. And that this telephone handset is no longer ready for use is something that makes life a lot better.

It has come to voting time now and I'm asking you to stoke my vanity by voting for it on their site. Voting continues until the 13th.

Remember Vote for The Phone, Thank you!

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January 30, 2009

A Hero for our Times

It was with great sadness back last year that we learned of the death of George MacDonald Fraser and that no more Flashman Papers would come to light. I read them all over the summer and thought I had closed the door on ever reading of such a hero again. So it is with great excitment and pleasure, and thanks to a reader for pointing it out to me, that I learn that the exploits of a modern hero are being discussed on the Internet -
The Baron of Castleshort - ARRSEpedia, James Shortt, Major Lucien Ott, The Baron Castleshort, IBA, International Bodyguard Association, Protection, Close Protection, Walter Mitty, Knight of St Gregory, McCarthy Mor, Royal Galloglas Guard, SAS, Parachute Regiment, Royal Marine, Commando, Legion of Frontiersmen, Minders, Security, Training, Bodyguard, BodyGuards, training, Security training, Escort, Protective driving, Communication, Improved Explosive Devices, Persoonsbeveiliging, IED, Close Quarter Battle, CQB, Paramedicine, Baltic, Riga, AGS, AGS Groep, Remy de Jong, FWE, FreightWatch, AGS-Freightwatch, Cargo Security, Freight, Security, Gargo, Surveilance, ESMC, E.S.M.C., Tracking, Tracing, Controlroom, Meldkamer, GPS, FWE, FWG, group, Freightwatch group, Investigation, europain security management centre, the cargo security company, audit, training, education, Havenbeveiliging, Alarm, Centrale, Vlaardingen, Meldkamer, Service centrale, PAC, Particuliere AlarmCentrale, Callcenter, Eurowatch, TAPA, Lockpick, slotenmakers, sleutelservice, Meldkamer Vlaardingen

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Friday Night is Music Night (Guess the Bass Player Edition)

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One of my readers spotted on Google Streetview

526 7th st rapid city SD - Google Maps

Baseball cap, Harley-Davidson sweatshirt, jeans and cowboy boots and walks the mean streets of the Land of the Free with a hunting rifle while swigging from a bottle of hard liquor. H/t The Register

and one of Mr FM's Readers seems to have been driving the vehicle....

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Helping you out

I'm off out today to be fiscally stimulated by the Taxpayer, free lunch provided. I only do these things because my country needs me. I hope it is as much fun as it sounds.

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January 27, 2009

Any Excuse II

Alcohol improves a man's sexual performance in bed - study - Telegraph

Those at greatest risk of poor performance in bed were heavy drinkers who had stopped drinking,..

Well don't stop then, just don't spill the tinny on the bedcover.

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January 26, 2009

Any Excuse

Kylie Minogue's Agent Provocateur commercial voted best cinema ad ever - Telegraph

'nuff said...

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January 23, 2009

Friday Night is Music Night (Readers Request Edition)

Fred Lincoln "Link" Wray Jr (May 2, 1929 – November 5, 2005) was an American rock and roll guitarist, songwriter and occasional singer.

The menacing sound of "Rumble" (and its title) led to a ban on several radio stations, a rare feat for a song with no lyrics, on the grounds that it glorified juvenile delinquency. Nevertheless it became a huge hit, not only in the United States, but also Great Britain,...

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Death Defying

Illusionist nearly drowns attempting to escape water tank on Uri Geller show - Telegraph

Unable to escape, the tank filled up with water and she was completely under for around 25 seconds.

A whole 25 seconds! Oh My God how close to death was that? How close to real journalism is this PR puff? Was The Telegraph a real paper once that employed real journalists?

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January 22, 2009

An Object Lesson

All this makes life worth living - competition

Dorling Kindersley are producing a phenomenal book of wonders that will feature a vast array of astonishing items that add something to the world we live in. ...We're giving you the opportunity to be a part of this incredible project. We want you to tell us about your object and why its story or what it represents is so extraordinary and makes life worth living.
To enter you need to email us at AllThisBook@uk.dk.com with an image of your object and a maximum of 100 words on what makes it so worthy of a place in this fantastic new book. The competition closes at midnight, Wednesday 28th January. T&Cs Apply

Here's my entry:

A telephone handset. Wonderful as they are for keeping us in touch with our family, friends and timeshare salesmen that is not why I have chosen it. It is no ordinary handset. It is an American one, it came from the command bunker of Greenham Common. It is through this handset that the coded orders would have passed that would have unleashed nuclear war. A few words listened to on it would have meant the end of civilisation as we knew it. We still face threats to our security but the black cloud of the Cold War hotting up which hung over a generation is now history. And that this telephone handset is no longer ready for use is something that makes life a lot better.

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January 21, 2009

Ready, Aim, Fiddle about with a bloody touchscreen and then fire...

Sniper rifle software launched for iPod touch - Telegraph

Pah - I think I will stick to the volley sights on my Lee Metford

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January 18, 2009

Another bit of my childhood dies

BBC NEWS | UK | TV presenter Tony Hart dies at 83

The artist served as an officer in the 1st Gurkha Rifles in World War II, before joining a course at Maidstone College of Art.

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Is that a bank roll in your pocket or are just pleased to see me?

Wealthy men give women more orgasms - Times Online
Scientists have found that the pleasure women get from making love is directly linked to the size of their partner’s bank balance.
They found that the wealthier a man is, the more frequently his partner has orgasms.

As Mrs Merton famously asked Debbie McGee, "So, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"

In other research today:

Playing hard to get increases a woman's chance of finding a "good" man, mathematicians have found. - Telegraph

No, sorry, that is Mathematicians making excuses for why they never pull....

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January 16, 2009

Friday Night is Music Night (グロリア Edition)

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January 13, 2009

I'm not worthy

Thanks Coz

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January 11, 2009

Ginger Bullet Magnet Targetted

Prince Harry: 'I'm not ginger. I'm auburn' - Telegraph

So the 'Ranga' (orang-utan) is being castigated for opening his carroty mouth and using a word that might cause offence because it is based on a person's colour - something none of his critics have ever done about the Tango Top, have they?

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January 9, 2009

Friday Night is Music Night (Punk Beginnings Edition)

15/09/1974

26-06-1977

And that's how it all started, amazing what a few years of practice does....

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January 6, 2009

Washed in The Blood of the Lamb

Vicar orders removal of 'unsuitable' crucifix from church - Telegraph
Rev Souter, formerly a cell biologist, said: "The crucifix expressed suffering, torment, pain and anguish. It was a scary image, particularly for children.

"We're all about hope, encouragement and the joy of the Christian faith. We want to communicate good news, not bad news, so we need a more uplifting and inspiring symbol than execution on a cross."

Any bets that the Thursday Evening Growth Groups feature guitars and happy clapping? Weedy infantile all-things-bright-and beautiful content free religion, pah! Religion is about trying to make sense of death, pain and suffering or it is nothing at all.

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Vote Early

Best Medical/Health Issues Blog - The 2008 Weblog Awards Vote for Junkfood Science - once a day for a week from now.

Best Science Blog - The 2008 Weblog Awards Vote for Watts Up with That or Climate Audit - hard choice, I think as the new comer and to avoid splitting the vote the former probably.

There are about three thousand other categories - Iain or Guy in UK blog etc but don't miss voting for The Reference Frame in the European bunch.

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January 5, 2009

Official Go Back to Work After Christmas Day

Gordon Brown's Version:

Mine as I'm off out into the dark with snow on the ground...

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January 2, 2009

I think Mr Remittance Man has been at the vodka judging by this comment just left here....

Hello!
I burning in one stingy stingy village, in Stavropol Territory. Dont skilled in as there in greater cities, and at us in all sketch, ergo is felt and to buy really difficultly something, except for kerosene and matches, and with space for really by no means :( Here so I masterpiece in the next secondary village as the tractor manager + in suspension excavator manoeuvrer (at us one tractor and one dredge, a facilities secondary, ergo I with all manage), conformably and problems with machines I should explain all. And here recently, the caterpillar has in disadlawful on a dredge, all our masters pull someone's leg told, that to adrighteous is not a subject. And with inform ons at us by no means, and furthermore with bones in some measures for a dredge. I to the heads, they pull someone's leg told, a quay of lolly we shall admit defeat out on surplus icipation and where to overcharge search itself, the column is your problems. And me that? exertion to mislay it would not be worthy, began to search, and here lawful the daughter has arrived with the guy, and it at it there a computer is (on it I by the way now and I take down) and here it to me has advised to buy lanky in some measure in the Internet work. But in one way I to these do not confidence in all the Internet to magnates, whether and furthermore if what to support (Spam Site link here) :( me impel, satisfy, it is compelling to hand over the Internet-inform ons or there is stock- what produce, who can desire influence, where it is preferably to buy? completely much I predisposition to informed entertain impartial responses/advice so to say humble people, the anyway consumers, as I.

Don't ask me what it means, I'm not a suspension excavator master....

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Friday Night is Music Night (God's God Edition)

Robert Johnson

As Clapton says:

"The blues played a crucial role in the birth of rock and roll. It had a particularly dramatic effect in post-war England, as merchant seaman returned home with this exotic music from the United States. Like The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who and countless other British rock musicians, Eric Clapton was enthralled with the American blues records that he heard on the BBC. In the grooves of the vinyl discs, he recognized kindred spirits. These artists expressed the same sense of heartache and loss which Eric often felt in his own life. Although he listened to a wide variety of blues records, it was Johnson who made the strongest impression on him. Clapton once declared; "Robert Johnson to me is the most important blues musician who ever lived." Judging by this unabashed admiration, it is therefore hardly surprising that Clapton chose to record "Crossroads", as well as several other songs by Johnson. Despite the obvious differences between these two individuals, they seem to be cut from the same ragged cloth. So decades after the bluesman's death, Clapton still carries on his legacy. His own music now exudes the same raw passion and commitment which once flowed out from Johnson's haunting guitar."

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January 1, 2009

2008 Statpron

321,161 Visits
234,100 Absolute Unique Visitors
419,187 Pageviews

According to Google analytics - and why this number is wrong...

And which of my pithy insights into the madness of modern politics, the unfolding story of the real science of climate change or the customs and mores of Englishmen was the most popular post....?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:56 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Reasons to be Cheerful

Welcome to 2009 - Darwin Year
2009 sees the bicentenary of Darwin’s birth and the 150th anniversary of the publication of his seminal work, ‘On the Origin of Species’

Contemplate a tangled bank,
clothed with many plants of many kinds,
with birds singing on the bushes,
with various insects flitting about,
and
with worms crawling through the damp earth:
these elaborately constructed forms
have all been produced by laws
acting around us.
Thus, the war of nature,
from famine and death,
the production of higher animals
directly follows.
There is grandeur in this view of life:
whilst the planet has gone
cycling on according to
the fixed law of gravity,
from so simple a beginning
endless forms most beautiful and
most wonderful have been
and are being
evolved.

- Charles Darwin

Of course Darwin wasn't the only important liberator born on 12th February 1809, there was some American Illinois Lawyer who we will also be bored of by the years end, but he is the most important because he freed our minds from medieval superstition which still has its deadly hold over vast swarths of humanity.

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December 31, 2008

As a row of tents.

O tempora o mores!

Back from a bracing walk across frozen fields to a mug of Camp made with steaming hot milk and a large tot of Navy Rum in it. Sheer bliss. It must be the seaman in me....
Steady as she goes, Number One....

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New Year's Eve Reflections

2008 - what a shitty year, the triumph of statism in the financial world, the unrelenting advance of the EU, the continued repression by the Carbonistas, Gordon Brown, The Messiah being elected in the US, St Tony and bloodshed in the Levant, troops in the hot sandy places for no sensible reason, Gordon Brown again, and David Cameron, the bloody Olympics, Boris being castrated so he could win, I can't think of a good word to say about the year except that we are still here in reasonable health and so are most of our friends.

Let's hope for a better 2009. Enjoy the rest of the year, and the extra second...

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December 30, 2008

Why I'm a conservative

A surfeit of festive optimism combined with the kind offer of help from an expert encouraged me to try to update this blog. New content management engine, new version of movabletype, a helpful hand to guide me through. Many hours of fiddling and tweaking and bollocks. The new versions aren't as user friendly as the old. I'm sure they have lots of super new features but I don't need them, the old works pretty well and I know my way around it. I have lost too many hours to trying to understand the new, and my very helpful friend has put even more hours in. I feel ungrateful to him by turning all the new stuff off but it was either that or never blog again. So my New Year's resolution is as always; if it ain't broken don't fix it.
(And when this creaking old system finally turns up its toes well, that will be that.)

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December 25, 2008

Happy Christmas

Now that's one you've not seen before....

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December 24, 2008

Brussels Sprouts and Pine Cones Make Christmas Interesting

Science News / The Mathematical Lives Of Plants

The Fibonacci numbers tend to crop up wherever the golden ratio appears, because the ratio between two consecutive Fibonacci numbers happens to be close to the golden ratio. The larger the two Fibonacci numbers, the closer their ratio to the golden ratio. But this relationship doesn't fully explain why parastichy numbers end up being consecutive Fibonacci numbers.
Scientists have puzzled over this pattern of plant growth for hundreds of years....

As you struggle to engage in the tedium of Christmas behold the sprout stalk or the festive pine cones and observe and wonder, let others debate Tom, Rachel and Lisa, let your mind be on higher things.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:00 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 23, 2008

Free MP3s - A Xmas Gift To You

£3 to spend on anything in the Amazon.co.uk: MP3 store on Christmas Day and Boxing Day. Visit on December 25 or 26, then just add your chosen MP3s to your Shopping Basket (you need to use the Shopping Basket rather than 1-Click) and enter code FREEMP3S at the checkout--£3 will be deducted from the total. And why not spread the Christmas love? Send a link to this page http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/browse.html/ref=pe_09/?node=77197031 to friends and family members and they can get £3 off too.

(Conditions apply - only valid Dec 25th 26th etc.)

Posted by The Englishman at 8:19 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Free Choice at Christmas

Shopping on Christmas Day is sacrilege | Melanie McDonagh - Times Online

And if I hear anyone say that it's a matter of individual choice, that no one is forcing anyone to shop online, I'll push their heads into a bowl of punch and hold it down for a very long time. If half the world is doing its online bargain chasing when they might be quarrelling with the in-laws, getting drunk, overcooking the turkey or stabbing themselves with scissors in an effort to open packaging, it has an effect on everyone.

Given the choice I know which sounds more attractive ; If anyone wants me I'll be here on Christmas Day....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:52 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Recession shopping benefits

`Lipstick effect' in full swing, sales of cosmetics rising economists say - Telegraph

Tie sales on the rise as men fear the sack - Telegraph

If times are tough, then let them eat cake (and crisps as well) - Scotsman.com News

Brands offering "comfort and nostalgia" are thriving at a time when purse-strings are being drawn. The likes of Walkers crisps and Mr Kipling cakes proved popular at the checkouts, while healthier products with heftier price tags, such as ready-mixed fruit smoothies, fared less well.

Everyone looking a bit smarter and proper food, it isn't all bad you know.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:56 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Not much on the Telly

BBC broadcaster Adrian Chiles is the most-seen man on television - Times Online

Adrian Chiles, the BBC broadcaster known for his blokeish demeanour and lucrative TV contracts, was the most-seen man on television this year. If I’m the most watched person, all I can say is there can’t be much else on television,” Chiles told The Times. Philip Schofield and Noel Edmonds were in second and third place. “I bet Ant and Dec are hurting now."
And the rest of the top ten are;
4 Fern Britton
5 Davina McCall
6 Dermot O’Leary
7 Ant & Dec
8 Gary Lineker
9 Holly Willoughby
10 Paul O’Grady

How many of them do you watch?, I thought so.....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:50 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 21, 2008

Lives of the rich and famous

A Life in the Day: Max Levchin, virtual genius - Times Online

Croissants are an occasional treat! You are 33, rich as Croesus and you are happy with a pastry as a treat......not a showgirl, bottle of this, line of that and baby oil on tap to be seen... what a waste.

Posted by The Englishman at 3:27 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 19, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Retro Xmas Edition)

(Now that choice will upset a few....)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Nigella's urges have made me into white trash

On the AGA this morning white trash ham baked in coca cola - yum.
Nigella says : I simply cannot urge you to try this strongly enough.

And who am I to refuse....

Posted by The Englishman at 10:13 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

An Okuri-okami Writes

Toujours Tingo: Weird words and bizarre phrases - Telegraph
Sjostygg: Norwegian for someone so ugly the tide refuses to come in if they stand on the shore.
Layogenic: Filipino for someone good-looking from afar but ugly up close.

Layogenic - we have all been there; there should also be a word for hags with gorgeous hair, you follow a trim figure with luxuriant flowing locks and as you pass expecting the pleasure of a fresh smiling face you are shocked by a wrinkled hook nosed witch. It quite ruins my day.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:53 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

December 17, 2008

No News Day

The Telegraph online news page is blank.

And The Times is lost in hyperspace - and I'm off down to the land of Chucklehead Cider for the day (incidentally the best and almost the only cider I drink since since I worked on a cider farm nearly thirty years ago.)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:58 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 12, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Compare and Contrast Edition)

Can you get them both playing in sync?

Posted by The Englishman at 6:38 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 10, 2008

The Feck Effect

What the feck! Ad gets the all-clear - Scotsman.com News

THE word "feck" dates back the 1500s, when it was used in Scotland to mean "effect" – the opposite of the modern day word "feckless", meaning weak.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 9, 2008

Mr FM in Texas

Mr Free Market spent last week as guests of the du Toits, and I have a photo...

Posted by The Englishman at 10:19 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Blog Job Offer

I note I'm way behind with updates to the software that runs this blog and also the template is maybe a bit tired. I don't have the time or knowhow to update either, is there any reader who would care to help for a small recompense?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:44 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 7, 2008

Life is too short to listen to rubbish

The 100 best records of 2008 - Times Online

Nope, not one, not a single one of them do I want to buy, a couple I wouldn't turn off if they came on the wireless, but the rest are an insult to my intelligence. Am I getting old?

Posted by The Englishman at 6:20 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 5, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Not Mama Edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The Name Fits

The Atlas of True Names - Telegraph

Etymologists and wordsmiths will take particular interest in a new set of maps going on sale in time for Christmas.
The Atlas of True Names replaces the traditional names of the world's cities, countries, rivers and mountains with new ones to reflect their origins and literal meaning.

Down here in Wiltshire I don't think I will be buying a copy - I live in a cup shaped hollow between two long outstretched limbs of hills, and it's name begins C*n. Nearby there is the "Swallowhead" spring; in fact the whole Kennet district is alive to the C*nt phoneme - (I often pronounce "Kennet", as in Kennet District Council without the second e...)

I reproduce part of a scholarly article below the fold - naughty language alert:

Cunt: Etymology [matthewhunt.com]

The rivers Kent (formerly Kenet) and Cynwyd share Kennet's etymology, and, as Michael Dames explains, Kennet's link to 'cunt' is readily apparent: "we may yet rediscover the Kennet as Cunnit, and the Swallowhead as Cunt. The name of that orifice is carried downstream in the name of the river. Cunnit is Cunnt with an extra i. As late as 1740, the peasants of the district had not abandoned the name [...] The antiquity of the form is clearly shown by the Roman riverside settlement called Cunetio - their principal town in the entire Kennet valley" (1976).

Posted by The Englishman at 7:55 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

50 Years ago today

Hello, is that Edinburgh? It's your Queen calling – and one dialled all by one's self - Scotsman.com News
WHEN she picked up the receiver on this day half-a-century ago, the Queen changed the way the people of the UK communicated with each other.
Sat beside Prince Philip in Bristol's central telephone exchange, surrounded by dignitaries and their wives, with great ceremony she dialled an Edinburgh number and uttered the words: "This is the Queen speaking from Bristol. Good afternoon, my lord provost."

It was the first long-distance phone call in the UK made without the help of an operator.

It almost makes me feel old, even though I'm not fifty I can remember tapping the phone rest and asking the operator for a number, kids today they wouldn't believe it....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:01 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

The Funniest Adverts Ever

Kung-fu bear fights way to top of advert charts - Scotsman.com News

Third place went to the 1989 Hamlet cigar advert starring Gregor Fisher,..

I didn't know that the salmon advert was filmed in Scotland, maybe Sarah Palin is actually from Inverness.

But the dear old Scotsman still hasn't got the new media because where are the links to the adverts? Don't worry I have done it for you below the fold (even the naughty tobacco one).

Posted by The Englishman at 6:44 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 3, 2008

An Appeal

Justgiving - Matt Trigg - Amalfi Trek Challenge - a little fat pink person wants to get roasted and exhausted in a good cause and he wants your help.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:56 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 1, 2008

BT Privacy Bollocks

BT.com Privacy policy

We are serious about guarding the security of your personal information and the details of any transactions made. We take appropriate organisational and technical security measures to protect your data against unauthorised disclosure or processing. We use a secure server to store the information you give us when you register or make an order (including your credit card details and your password). Any personal data you send us on-line is securely encrypted.
Please note that your billing account number is a sensitive piece of information, which can be used with your telephone number to find out information about your use of BT's services....

I'm on BT Braodband here and over the weekend responded to an email about renewing. I get an email back today in plain text with the following footer - the XXXXX are what I have put in as in the email they are unencrypted for anyone to see. Advice as to what I should do please...

Original Message Follows:
------------------------
/*******************************
* BT_EmailTitle: {null};
* BT_Subject: {Broadband resigns};
* BT_Message: {null};
* BT_Title: {};
* BT_Firstname: {XXX};
* BT_Surname: {XXXXX};
* BT_ContactPreference: {null};
* BT_EmailAddress: {XXXXXXX};
* BT_AccountNumber: {null};
* BT_TelNumber: {null};
* BT_UserName: {null};
* BT_ContactTelNumber1: {XXXXXXX};
* BT_ContactTelNumber2: {null};
* BT_OriginatingForm: {null};
* BT_Browser: {null};
* BT_CustomerPreviousPages: {null};
* BT_DestinationEmail: {null};
* BT_Customer_Classification: {null};
* BT_Customer_Category: {null};
* BT_VIPType: {null};
* BT_Reference Number: {null};
* BT_xxmessagetag: {null};
* BT_zzsource: {null};
*******************************/

Posted by The Englishman at 3:18 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

November 28, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (One of Kim's All Time American Favourites Edition)

Sheer Music of an American in England

Thanks Kim for everything.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:03 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 23, 2008

The Best of Blog Archiving

A very kind chap of the name John Murphy has a whizzy idea to offer the best of blogs as pdfs. He did a trial run on this blog - BestofAEC2008.pdf . A warning, whilst I would have thought the best of this blog would easily fit on a beer mat the file he produced is 7.5 MB. You will need to slaughter a small flock to produce the vellum you will want to print it out on.

One or two small issues with the format on his trial run but generally I think it is great. And as a sop to my vanity even better. If you have a similar yearning or idea then John can be contacted on johnpiersmurphy At google mail DOTCOM

Posted by The Englishman at 10:07 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 22, 2008

Something for the weekend Sir?

Happy hours and drinking games to be banned under new laws - Telegraph

Happy hours, drinking games and all-you-can-drink deals in pubs and bars will be banned, The Daily Telegraph can disclose.

Controversial food scraps bin scheme for all households - Telegraph

Every household in the country could soon be required to keep a separate bin for food scraps as a new scheme to reduce landfill is rolled out across the country.

Alistair Darling to signal future tax rises to pay for Government's borrowing - Telegraph

Britain colder than Moscow as Arctic snap brings snow as far south as Kent - Telegraph

Oh Happy Day!

Posted by The Englishman at 1:07 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

November 21, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Average Night in the Bar Edition)

That dates me...

Posted by The Englishman at 5:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Google Searchwiki Is Here

Google's SearchWiki allows users to personalise their results - Times Online

The new feature, which is being rolled out in the next few hours..

That explains all those arrows and crosses on my search results - I thought my eyes were still bleary from last night....

So if I do a simple innocent trial search - kinky katie holmes - Google Search - Wow! Look! I can promote my site.
What japes!

Posted by The Englishman at 6:53 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 18, 2008

Be Prepared

I'm off to London alone this morning for a couple of days. The car is prepared, tyres checked, fluid levels checked, in the boot some de-icer and a window scraper in case of ice and a decent length of rope, well just in case.....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:36 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

November 14, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (I dreamt I had a good job edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 12, 2008

Entry No.6666

Posted by The Englishman at 12:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Proper Kettles For Gentlemen

Lakeland Bushcraft Trading Limited - Kelly Kettles

Have you got one? If not proceed immediately to this site and purchase one. If you are out and about in the wilds you need one, how else are you going to make a mug of tea unless you have real boiling water? If you plan never to leave home you need one because with the official energy policy of these isles being based on whirligigs the power is going to fail increasingly often, and you need to have a mug of tea as you contemplate the insanity around you.
(And the site is run by a sound fellow who has neither asked nor paid for this).

Posted by The Englishman at 12:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 11, 2008

What's Cooking Tonight?

An unfortunate juxtaposition from Telegraph Online

Posted by The Englishman at 7:57 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 10, 2008

Just an old fashioned Wino....

Wonko’s World » Blog Archive » WINO Award #2
One island of sanity in the ocean of climate change madness

Posted by The Englishman at 5:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 7, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Gabba Gabba Hey Edition)

Blame my age...

Posted by The Englishman at 4:21 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 6, 2008

Fuelling a culture of cynicism and despair

The Big Question: Is Hazel Blears right to accuse political bloggers of undermining democracy? -
UK Politics, UK - The Independent

"Political blogs are written by people with disdain for the political system and politicians, who see their function as unearthing scandals, conspiracies and perceived hypocrisy," she said. Blears maintains that: "Until political blogging adds value to our political culture, by allowing new voices, ideas and legitimate protest and challenge, and until the mainstream media reports politics in a calmer, more responsible manner, it will continue to fuel a culture of cynicism and despair."

Sorry - I plead guilty - though it is hard to think how to "add value" to a system that allows people like her to be taken seriously, am I allowed to say that or am I fuelling a culture of cynicism and despair? I hope so because I am feeling full of cynicism and despair looking across the cesspits of modern politics.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:17 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

November 5, 2008

40 years of farming explained in one photo.

Forty years ago in 1968 this steel work was erected as part of the UK subsidised push for home food production. By the 1980s the barn was too small for industrialised agriculture and it fell into disuse. It was pulled down in the 1998 and the old granary turned into a Rockchick home. The steel work was left in a pile of nettles in case it came in useful. In 2008 it is being re-erected at a new site as a EU funded environmental measure to help prevent nitrates running into a river.
(In 2018 I expect it will have yet another use....)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:38 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

November 4, 2008

Toy Time

Two new toys arrived yesterday; a sparkly new Laptop and a new cutting torch for the Oxy-Acetylene. I didn't know which one to play with first....

Don't be stupid, of course I fired up the torch first...

Posted by The Englishman at 5:58 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

November 3, 2008

Clearing my desk

All to be unplugged and tidied up - I may be some time, excuse my silence.
(The hard drive is in a similar state and I'm busy tidying that at the same time - thank goodness external hard drives are cheap...)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:07 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 1, 2008

Proper Boots for Gentlemen

World War 1 Army Boots
Who needs fancy plastics and Gortex when proper bootmakers are still at their last?

Posted by The Englishman at 9:13 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

It's that time of year again when Wiltshire Yeomen remember

The Royal Wiltshire Yeomanry was mobilised in 1939. The next five years were to prove a time of unparalleled change, adventure, and above all – courage – for the Regiment. Beginning as horsed cavalry, the regiment was deployed to the Middle East, serving in Palestine, Iraq, Jordan, Syria and Egypt. Wiltshire Yeomen found themselves tasked as both searchlight crews and lorried infantry, before converting in late 1941 to Tanks.

Special mention should be made of the part the Royal Wiltshire Yeomanry played at the famous battle of El Alamein in October 1942. Under the command of the 9th Armoured Brigade, the regiment was equipped with a mixture of Sherman, Grant and Crusader tanks, and was tasked with supporting the 2nd New Zealand division in the initial assault on the German lines. Following heavy fighting, the regiment was reduced to just four serviceable tanks, and was withdrawn to reserve. Barely days later, with their tanks replaced or repaired, the Wiltshiremen were again in support of the New Zealanders as part of the final breakthrough, and during the bitter fighting that followed, the Regiment was again reduced to four serviceable tanks. In recognition of their gallant actions and the strong bonds that had been formed, the Royal Wiltshire Yeomanry - along with the Warwickshire Yeomanry and 3rd Hussars – was awarded the fern leaf insignia by the New Zealanders. This insignia is still displayed on the Squadron’s uniforms and vehicles today.

El Alamein

Lightfoot

The opening of the battle saw four divisions (9th Australian, 51st Highland, 2nd New Zealand and 1st South African) in the assault on the north of the Axis positions. RWY was in support of 5th New Zealand Brigade (Brigadier Howard Kippenberger) and the aim was for infantry to secure the Miteiriya Ridge during darkness, with the armour to pass beyond them at first light to establish a screen. By now the regiment was equipped with a mix of M4 Sherman, Crusader and Grant (M3 Lee) tanks. On the morning of 24 October 1942, A and C squadrons were ahead of the infantry on the western slopes of the ridge. B squadron had been delayed in the Devil's gardens minefields and had lost numerous tanks. Throughout that day, A and C squadrons engaged German panzers on the plain below, and were in turn hit by anti-tank fire. Initially, the heavier Sherman tanks were not vulnerable to this, but when the German 88mm anti-tank guns joined in they took severe casualties. By midday, the two squadrons were reduced to one Sherman and three Grants and the commanding officer had been badly wounded and evacuated. The 10th Armoured Division was at this stage supposed to pass through and onwards to start the breakout, but seemed to be reluctant to do so.[6]
At 6:00 p.m. the regiment was ordered to withdraw. It had lost almost all of its tanks and taken 42 casualties killed or wounded. In reserve, the regiment was issued with new tanks, a hasty mix of Shermans, Grants, and Crusaders (types II and III), mostly salvaged from the battlefield and rapidly repaired

Supercharge

On the night of 1st/2nd November 1942, the 8th Army attacked again in the north, with 2nd New Zealand Division in the lead. General Freyberg placed 151 Brigade on the right and 152 Brigade on the left. The aim was to attack directly westwards across the Rahman track, with the infantry leading the night assault and 9th Armoured Brigade (now commanded by Brigadier John Currie) again passing through to break the enemy gun line and allow X Corps to break out. The assault went to plan except that opposition on the left was heavier than expected which slowed the advance. As a result the advancing tanks were highlighted against the dawn sky in the east and began to be picked off by Axis anti-tank fire. The Regiment was in the centre of 9th Armoured Brigade, and the CO lost touch with both his artillery support and close anti-tank support. In the growing light, the B squadron commander (Major M.StJ.V.Gibbs) realised that he was in a ring of enemy anti-tank guns, ahead and to both flanks. He gave the order to 'Charge' and B squadron over-ran the anti-tank positions, losing some vehicles but destroying the enemy gun line.
Meanwhile 21st Panzer Division was counter-attacking A and C squadrons and at 4pm the Regiment (now down to four tanks) was withdrawn.
After the 9th Armoured Brigade's action, Brigadier Gentry of the 6th New Zealand Brigade went ahead to survey the scene. On seeing Brigadier Currie asleep on a stretcher, he approached him saying, 'Sorry to wake you John, but I'd like to know where your tanks are?' Currie waved his hand at a group of tanks around him, replying 'There they are.' Gentry was puzzled. 'I don't mean your headquarters tanks, I mean your armoured regiments. Where are they?' Currie waved his arm and again replied, 'There are my armoured regiments, Bill.

Posted by The Englishman at 12:11 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 31, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Lemmie says turn it up edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 7:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Dell Outlet - Don't bother trying to buy anything on a Friday afternoon.

Dell UK homepage - Computers, Computer equipment, electronics, and services. Trying to get through to Dell Outlet this Friday lunchtime I have been given four different excuses why they are closed:

It's the weekend
Technical issues - "can I quote you to say the computers are down?" -Yes.
Staff Meetings
Unintelligible - the call was being answered in India I guess.

I hope Michael Dell knows he is paying a bunch of part time wasters who are too busy on a jolly to take money. Sod them. I've bought elsewhere.

Posted by The Englishman at 1:44 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 26, 2008

Keep surfing - it's big and clever.

Keep clicking and you’ll be a snappy thinker - Times Online
The internet is changing the way the human brain works, researchers have found. It is improving people’s ability to make snap decisions and filter large amounts of information – but at the cost of subtle skills such as picking up the nuances of facial expression.

Well I never was any good at picking up the nuances of facial expression, if people want to tell me something, then bloody say it, or better still write me an email, don't expect me to work it out from your twitching eyebrows and sulky mouth. You're not an ape, you're a human, use bloody words. And leave me to make snap decisions and filter the morning news so I can make sarky comments as which politician deserves their neck broken in those few precious silent minutes at the start of the day.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 24, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (A good year for the roses edition)

In 1981 Elvis Costello released Almost Blue, an album of country music cover songs written by the likes of Hank Williams ("Why Don't You Love Me (Like You Used To Do?)"), Merle Haggard ("Tonight The Bottle Let Me Down") and Gram Parsons ("How Much I Lied"). The album was a tribute to the country music he had grown up listening to, especially, George Jones. Some avid fans dismissed the album because it was inconsistent with earlier recordings. It was not a country-rock album (a la The Byrds or Eagles), which might have been more palatable to his established audience and to reviewers, but rather an undiluted country album. It received mixed reviews, some of which accused Costello of growing soft. Perhaps in anticipation of the inevitable accusations of apostasy, the first pressings of the record in the UK bore a sticker with the message: "WARNING: This album contains country & western music and may cause offence to narrow minded listeners". Almost Blue did spawn a surprise UK hit single in a version of George Jones's "Good Year For The Roses" (written by Jerry Chesnut), which reached #6.

It was shocking and very brave, here was the epitome of cool punky songwriters doing something so uncool, and amazing.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:34 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 23, 2008

6:02 10/23 Mole Time

Happy Mole Day!

(Even Chemists have their little jokes)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 18, 2008

Remember, Remember

November 5th is my Wedding Anniversary so I'm thinking of going to London for a drink or two at lunchtime, and then in accordance with Government Health guidelines walking it off, and it looks like others may have the same idea...
The Devil's Kitchen: Going for a little walk...
For those wishing to take a stroll on the 5th November, I shall be taking suitable refreshment prior to my stroll from 11am onwards at

The Chandos
29 St Martins Lane,
Strand,
London,
WC2N 4ER

Here is a map.
See you there. It may well be your last chance.

Posted by The Englishman at 5:30 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Oh to be in England

Neatsfoot oil on the boots, fresh bread out the AGA for sandwiches, the gun safe opened and the old wooden stocks wiped down, the sun is shining, the sky clear and not a breeze to rustle the autumnal leaves. And I'm off shooting English Partridge on the top of the Marlborough Downs, and poor Mr FM is missing it...

Posted by The Englishman at 8:36 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

October 17, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Country Boy Edition)

As he has been upsetting the "left wing liberal media"....

Posted by The Englishman at 5:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 15, 2008

The Best A Man Can Get

Sexy maths: a calculating approach to love - Times Online

Without overcomplicating matters, mathematical analysis suggests that you should survey the scene for 37 per cent (1/e equals roughly 0.37) of the way through the period that you have set yourself to find a partner. Supposing that you start dating at the age of 16 and aim to find the best partner by the time you reach 60, this would take you to about the age of 32. Then you must choose the next partner who beats all the people you've dated up to that point. It's not going to guarantee you success, but this strategy maximises your chances. Just be sure not to show the formula to your new spouse: it never looks good to be too calculating when it comes to love.

Umm, I met the present Mrs Englishman when I was 32... thank goodness she never reads this.

Posted by The Englishman at 4:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 11, 2008

A Spoonful of Sugar

Sugar 'makes you sweeter' - Telegraph

"People with lower glucose levels are more likely to use stereotypes when describing others and, if they are high in prejudice, are more likely to make derogatory statements."
The researchers from Amsterdam University and Florida State University added: "When people engage in the act of trying to control public expressions of prejudice or the use of stereotypes, they consume the energy required for self-regulation.
"However, once the energy source is restored to normal levels, people regain the ability to control conscious responses towards others.

Which is why I always blog before I have had my breakfast and my Wheetybangs covered in dark Muscovado sugar - after that I'm the epitome of reasonableness and tolerance.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:51 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 10, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (No Guitars No.1 edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 8, 2008

Ave atque vale Flashman

Harry Paget Flashman VC, KCB, KCIE; Chevalier of the Légion d'Honneur; U.S. Congressional Medal of Honor; San Serafino Order of Purity and Truth, 4th Class.

Back in the spring I bought a complete set of his memoirs which I have read to the exclusion of all else, in order, during my weekly bath. I have just finished the last one and the thought that there will never be another new one to read is quite upsetting. If you haven't read at least a couple of them you are in for a treat.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:17 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 7, 2008

Home Thoughts From Abroad

As the financial world collapses around us I have been happy living in other times. Deep in a drawer I found a Red Cross drawstring bag my father brought back from his time as a POW in Germany, crammed full of photos, postcards, his paybook etc. Among the items was this copied out and sent to him as a comfort from home.

The Ten Commandments of Fox-hunting by Mr Young

Article I Every man shall present himself at the place of meeting quietly, suitably clothed and in good time. He who rides his hunter steadily thereto is better than he who uses a hack. He who drives tandem for display or who uses any manner of engine or machine, except as a necessity, is an abomination.

Article X And may all men, rich and poor, have equal rights and pleasures in the Chase if they devoutly agre to these articles.

Above me hangs his favourite print:

That Far Far Away Echo by Snaffles
In the early morning in the trenches, a soldier remembers his hunting days. Around him is his dream sequence.

What home thoughts from abroad comfort our troops now?

Posted by The Englishman at 7:09 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 5, 2008

This morning's hymn

On scanning the papers this morning and contemplating the scum who rule us, as the rain beats against the window sometimes an uplifting tune is needed...

And for those confirmed a longer service is available...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:29 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 4, 2008

An American in Paris

Bugger, a bloody Afro-american friend has suggested we join him et al for drinks in Paris at the New Year. Nothing I would like more, in fact I would happily sell a couple of wisdom teeth to fund the trip, but the snake suggests I bring the present Mrs Englishman as well. Again there is nothing I would prefer to do than parade my child bride through the debauched quarters of the Montmartre before tucking into the joys of raw meat and perfect chips in the company of valued friends. So it isn't the suggestion that I free Mrs E from her domestic servitude for a long weekend that has raised my goat but that everywhere Mrs E goes there goes also the Englishettes.The Englishettes who have been suckered into believing that Disneyland Paris is a veritable paradise on earth. For five long years I have persuaded them that the continent is isolated due to the fog and the unfortunate death of Archduke Franz Ferdinand and we are unable to visit. So how can I tell them that we are leaving them in the arms of the babysitter whose house is made of gingerbread and candy while we escape to forbidden treasures. It won't work. The first whisper of the the name of Paris will cause ten thousand requests to be launched to join us and divert us to the charms of Mickey.

I don't like leaving the parish but I want to go, it is just the small people who infest my house... what to do? And I can picture Mrs E and I in Paris already...

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October 3, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Modern Beat Combo Edition)

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September 26, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night ( Bristol Edition)

The kids in Bristol are sharp as a pistol
When they do the Bristol Stomp
Really somethin when they join in jumpin
When they do the Bristol Stomp

Whoa, whoa they start spinnin every Friday night
They dance the greatest and they do it right...

(No 2 son started at Bristol University today studying Animal Behaviour with pharmacology as an option.... Not sure what course he is on though.....)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:25 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

September 22, 2008

Smith Lawson and Company - The man in charge

I recently blogged about the duplicitous and misleading Smith Lawson and Company , the pretend debt collectors who are part of the Student Loan Company - which is wholly owned by the Secretary of State for Innovation, Universities and Skills and Scottish Ministers.

Having checked on the CV of the head man of the SLC I shouldn't have been surprised:

LOOK up Keith Bedell-Pearce in Who's Who and you will read that he is a distinguished solicitor with an impressive record in the boardrooms of some of Britain's top firms. His rewards from these years of service include a £3 million mansion.

But you will not read that he presided over the worst of the pensions and endowment misselling that has blighted the finance industry for the past two decades. ..He was the man in charge of Prudential's salesforce just when mis-selling of pensions and mortgage endowments reached its shameful peak in the late Eighties. ....

Posted by The Englishman at 8:46 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Words made to be used by agrestic oppugnant bloggers as they vilipend our olid leaders

How you can help to save some cherished words from oblivion - Times Online

Vilipend To treat or regard with contempt

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September 19, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Rebel a go-go edition)

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This site is banned in France

France ban on internet alcohol advertising hits industry - Times Online

France may be home to some of the world's finest wines but it could be about to join the tiny club of Muslim states that forbid their promotion on the internet.

Winemakers and other players in the drinks industry are fighting to avert a ban on advertising, sales and even vineyard websites that has been looming ever since a court ruled that the internet should be included in France's strict laws regarding alcohol advertising.

...drinks brands have shut out French visitors for fear of prosecution. “Today in France, the sight of a bottle of wine has become as offensive as a picture of war or pornography,”

Diageo demands sexy fake Guinness viral is pulled - Spoilsports.

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September 18, 2008

Tess

The filming of BBC drama Tess of the D'Urbervilles has taken place in Wiltshire.

They were filming in West Woods at Lockeridge back in the summer, all parked up in a layby I have often stopped in, many years ago, whilst I was kindly giving a popsy from the village a lift home after an evening out in Marlborough. I had to swallow hard to keep quiet on Sunday as I watched it, as the evil squire Alec D'Urberville give poor innocent Tess a lift back from the market town and stopped there to have his wicked way with her. I think I may have to sue.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 17, 2008

The Times - Missing in Action

Times Online - The Times and Sunday Times - claiming the site is very busy! Are they doing a much needed update on the piss poor website - it is about time as they have fallen far behind other papers in their usability.

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September 14, 2008

Sitemeter responds - rollsback changes

SiteMeter Rollback ｫ SiteMeter News & Announcements

We have received and heard your feedback concerning the latest changes to the website. We will implementing a rollback to the website immediately.

I can feel the pain - lets see if it returns to its old usable simplicity. I've been there with a software company when you have got it wrong, I can imagine the screaming and frantic activity as they have read the barrage of criticism. So praise to them for recognizing that their months of hard work, innovative thinking and big plans got it wrong so quickly. Don't you just love the way market pressure works - never hear a politician recant so quickly. I hope for their sake they manage to get it right quickly and salvage something from this debacle.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:02 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

The new SiteMeter is a stinking pile of crap

or as the more cultured and erudite put it: The Reference Frame: New SiteMeter is much less usable than the old one

Anyone know of a simple replacement that allows me to see referrers simply? - It is the only use I have for a sitemeter, to see if someone has linked and is sending lots of visitors over.

Posted by The Englishman at 1:34 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

September 12, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Howling Edition)

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September 8, 2008

Sky of blue and sea of green

Beatles music more than 'auditory cheesecake', scientists find - Telegraph

Scientists have discovered that even after more than 40 years, people can still vividly recall where they were and what they were doing when they first heard the Fab Four’s music.

Yep - going the the Marlborough Mop in 1966 and Yellow Submarine was playing, and I won a goldfish.

Magical.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:13 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 6, 2008

Local History for Local People

I was generously given by Richard Ozzard a large amount of All Cannings history to share on the web. I haven't had the time to reformat them for the web so here is a link to the file list.

The folder AC2000 contains his Millennial book which features histories of every house in All Cannings (see the 100MB Houses of the village.doc)

Other files include the Birth, Death and Marriage Registers for All Cannings from the earliest records up to 1997, The Daily School Log book from Victorian times (fascinating) and many other gems.

Posted by The Englishman at 4:13 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 5, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Another average night down the King's Arms edition)

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Gloomy Friday - The Only Response

Weekend wash-out expected as severe storm drenches Britain - Telegraph
Car sales crash as economy hits skids - Times Online
Housing gloom deepens as prices plunge 12.7% - Times Online

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa .They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go up to the Smokies, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So, I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, 'WELL brothers, you KNOW that WE don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD!
But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So right quick-like, I DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.'

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says,

'Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.'

Posted by The Englishman at 8:22 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 4, 2008

Comments

In the last couple of days I have started to rummage around in the junk comment folder - the system automatically junks about 20 comments an hour (And those are ones that have penetrated the outer moat where many more are sunk with out trace.)
There are a lot of good comments getting junked because people don't type in the magic verification word - if I spot them I rescue them but don't rely on it. If you think your comment has been unfairly blocked then email me, even if I disagree with it I will allow it provided it doesn't breach the basic rules of legality, relevance and anything else I decide on.

Posted by The Englishman at 9:57 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

In like a bullet

Iain Dale's Diary: The Total Politics Top 100 UK Political Blogs

Thanks to Iain "Fluff" Dale for compiling and for everyone who voted, I must admit I didn't bother to vote or campaign for votes, so a respectable showing of being in the top 100, right of centre and libertarian categories. I must try harder at writing policy wonkery....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:14 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 3, 2008

Chrome - follow the porn

Of course I have been trying Chrome out - runs quickly and I like it, not enough to ditch Firefox yet but then it is how easy it is to blog from it that counts...

Official Google Blog: Google Chrome now live

Features : Incognito mode

For times when you want to browse in stealth mode, for example, to plan surprises like gifts or birthdays, Google Chrome offers the incognito browsing mode. Webpages that you open and files downloaded while you are incognito won't be logged in your browsing and download histories; all new cookies are deleted after you close the incognito window. You can browse normally and in incognito mode at the same time by using separate windows.

Oh, yes, buying your wife flowers, that is why you want to browse in stealth mode. They are no fools, the golden rule of how to make money, and where the cutting edge of the Internet is, has always been "follow the porn".

(hattip NBC - who should be working not reading this...)

Posted by The Englishman at 7:08 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

September 1, 2008

English Style

Prince Philip has 51-year-old trousers altered to fit latest trend - Telegraph

At naval events he is often seen in the same uniform that he wore at his wedding in 1947... He is still lauded by fashion experts for his impeccable taste, and in the latest list of the best-dressed men in Britain, compiled by GQ magazine, he appeared at number 33.

I have blogged before of how the English country set wear old clothes, for a Greek, you know, he is starting to fit in...

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August 31, 2008

Local Website for Local People

King's Arms All Cannings

(Hopefully this will be a sponsored link...)

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August 30, 2008

Headline News

A week away from t'internet and being exposed to the BBC news is akin to an out of body experience - do people still put up with that crap? Don't they notice the bias and shallowness? So it has been a relief to catch up this afternoon with my tame newshounds, almost at random here are two of today's stories set in their proper context.

Just a Girl in short shorts talking about Sarah Palin

And EU Referendum reminds us that: the treatment of this story (the drowning polar bears) demonstrates yet again that the media cannot be trusted to report accurately or objectively, especially on "green" issues. But then we knew that already. What is worrying is the number of people who still do believe what they read.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:25 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

An Englishman Abroad

Back from a week holidaying in the glorious Welsh countryside:

and visiting the welcoming Welsh beachs:

The sun shone, for at least an hour in the whole week, the locals have taken "I'll pick a consonant, please Carol" to ridiculous extremes, can't we carpet bomb them with vowels to force them to open their upper vocal tracts and cease their grunting? Betting on the empty Brains rolling down the street in the wind was as close to sport as I got and if being sand blasted by the shards of slate they laughingly expect you lie on is refreshing, then I am refreshed.

I almost embarrassed myself on the A55 when the sign "Welcome to England" showed up, if it hadn't been for the queues of peroxided couples from Merseyside in their caravans and the fat boys from Manchester in their Audis steamrolling down the tarmac I would have leapt from the car and kissed the red cross.

Posted by The Englishman at 3:48 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Did you miss me, Yeah, while I was away,

Did you miss me, Yeah, while I was away,
did you hang my picture on your wall
Did you kiss me, Yeah, every single day,
although you couldn't kiss me at all.
And did you love me, Yeah, like a good little girl,
Did you tell that naughty boy not to call,
did you love me, Yeah, in your own little world,
Although you couldn't see me at all,
although you couldn't see me at all,

Hello, Hello, it's is good to be back, it's good to be back,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, I'm back again, I'm back,
I'm on the right track,
Hello, Hello tell all your friends I'm back, I'm back as a matter of fact,
as a matter of fact I'm back

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August 23, 2008

I'm off to join the Circus

This morning, Marlborough Common - Gifford's Circus - magical....

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August 22, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Clever Bastards Edition)

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What you missed by not going to The Fringe

Revealed – the funniest joke at this year's Fringe - Scotsman.com News

1 Zoe Lyons – "I can't believe Amy Winehouse self-harms. She's so irritating she must be able to find someone to do it for her."

2 Andrew Laurence – "Most of us have a skeleton in the cupboard. David Beckham takes his out in public."

3 Lloyd Langford – "My girlfriend said, 'Did you know that hippopotamuses kill more people every year than guns?'. 'Yes,' I said, 'but a gun is easier to conceal."

4 Josie Long – "When I was a kid, I asked my mum what a couple was and she said, 'Oh, two or three'. And she wonders why her marriage didn't work."

5 Tim Vine – "Velcro. What a rip-off."

6 Stephen Grant – "The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe – wouldn't it be easier just to talk to a woman?"

7 Edward Aczel – "So far bird flu has only killed 47 people. By the time it ends, it's going to have killed 37 million. It's got to get going, hasn't it, if it's going to be the pandemic we've all been hoping for."

8 Joan Rivers – "Grandchildren can be f****** annoying. How many times can you go, 'And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink'? It's like talking to a supermodel."

9 Tom Stade – "I like Jesus but he loves me, so it's awkward."

10 Jeff Kreisler – "People were outraged because of Barack Obama's spiritual adviser. I think it's great he had one. Who was George Bush's spiritual adviser? Jim Beam? Johnnie Walker? Jack Daniels?"

I feel better now that I didn't bother to go...

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August 20, 2008

Babyfaces

A rounder face 'means men are more aggressive' - Telegraph

The male sex hormone testosterone makes faces more circular and now scientists have studied whether this characteristic is also linked to behaviour.

The bard got there first, but he mistrusted the thin faced ones:

Caesar:
Let me have men about me that are fat,
Sleek-headed men and such as sleep a-nights.
Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look,
He thinks too much; such men are dangerous.
Julius Caesar Act 1, scene 2, 190–195

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August 15, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Three Blues Edition)

Bonus - Mojo Hand

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Ex Africa semper aliquid novi

Too much beer last night celebrating No.2 Son's return from a month in the Dark Continent and his A level results, and thus him being awarded a place at Bristol University to study poking monkeys with sticks and badger baiting.

I'm very proud of him.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:46 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 9, 2008

Toy Story

It's madness here today with an eight year old's birthday - luckily Mr NBC came round last night and helped set up the toys.....

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August 8, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Graceland Edition)

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August 1, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night - Adolescent Edition

As a teenage boy at an all boy boarding school this video came out just in time to prevent me experimenting and trying out vile perversions - such as buying three disc gate-fold prog rock albums, I had been saved from such unnatural acts by a love of the three minute perfect pop song.

Though I did relapse a little when I was at college and I seem to remember this classic from the welsh group Man which was on a album with a foldout map finding a welcome in my bedsit, though my memory is a little hazy...

Posted by The Englishman at 5:11 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Harvest Update

A snippet to give you an understanding of how farming really is now.

In the field next to my house the muck spreaders are at work, but not over the whole field. The combine which self steered its way across the rape earlier this week recorded the yield variations onto a gps map which is fed into the office computer. The manure management plan then indicates which areas of the field will benefit from the muck the most and will also provide information for the gps guided fertiliser applicator throughout the season to vary the fertiliser rates across the field.

It's not all muck and mystery anymore.

Posted by The Englishman at 8:03 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

I say, I say, I say, stop me if you have heard it before.

The world's oldest jokes revealed by university research - Telegraph

Britain’s oldest joke...They found the wry observation in the Codex Exoniensis, a 10th century book of Anglo-Saxon poetry held at Exeter Cathedral.

It reads: "What hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole that it’s often poked before?’ Answer: A key."

...Egyptians were laughing at much the same thing.

"Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey - his purse is what restrains him," reads an Egyptian hieroglyphic from a period that pre-dates Christ.

The world's oldest surviving joke "is essentially a fart gag"...

The 3,000-year-old Sumerian proverb, from ancient Babylonia, reads: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

I think more research is needed, I'm sure some of the jokes Nigel tells in the Kings Arms are even older....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:01 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 31, 2008

Blogger Regulation - A Statement

New internet watchdog - Telegraph

A source who has seen the report said that the committee wanted to give the public "a form of redress" "At the moment consumers don't know where to go if they want to complaint about something they have seen on the internet," the source said. "The absence of any industry body is leading to a great deal of confusion and to widely differing practices.

Luckily I am one of those bloggers who has signed up to a code of conduct and am happy to direct you to the code's spokesman for our official reaction to this proposal:

The Devil's Kitchen: Regulation? Go fuck yourselves

Posted by The Englishman at 6:41 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 30, 2008

Help, this earworm is driving me mad.

Earworm - a calque of the German Ohrwurm, is a term for a portion of a song or other musical material that becomes "stuck" in a person's "head" or repeats against one's will within one's mind.

In her crisp white shirt
With her crisp white vowels
Her crisp white everything
Is stirring my bowels.

Or did I dream it up?

Posted by The Englishman at 1:19 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 29, 2008

I'm in two minds over this web snooping

Site guesses your sex via age-old web flaw | The Register

Now the Mike on Ads blog has harnessed this privacy shortcoming into a tool that tries to predict whether the visitor is male or female. It uses a small piece of Javascript, that siphons a browser's URL history and then analyzes the sites visited to guess whether the user is a guy or gal.

My results?
Likelihood of you being FEMALE is 50%
Likelihood of you being MALE is 50%

Hmmm....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:46 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Take Five - Happy Blogiversary to Me

An Englishman's Castle: Blog Post Dated: July 29, 2003

The first post I have still recorded - I started over on Blogspot and I think there were some earlier entries. But what ever here's some mood music for me to ruminate on the five long years, a lifetime in internet time....

(Prettier than Dave Brubeck)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:22 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 27, 2008

If you could have dinner with 3 people …

Wonko’s World tagged me:

If you could choose any 3 people from history (alive or dead) to have dinner with, who would they be, why and which single burning question would you ask them?

Jesus Christ - did you really rise from the dead on the third day? Big question, big implications.

Nigella Lawson - will you come out of the kitchen now and join me on the chaise longue ?

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall - will you stay in the bloody kitchen and rustle up Nigella and me something tasty? Thanks mate.

Posted by The Englishman at 10:48 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 25, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Scratch Band Edition)

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Wallet Closed

Fears of recession grow as Britons stop spending and sales slump - Times Online

Off to The Game Fair today with the boy - and no intention to spend any money. Of course I said that last time and ended up buying a Greener GP....

Posted by The Englishman at 5:53 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 20, 2008

Elections in Blogistan - Please Vote

Iain Dale's Diary: Guide to Political Blogs 2008-9: Vote for your Top Ten Blogs

and don't forget

The Witanagemot Club blogging awards

Posted by The Englishman at 9:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 14, 2008

My Life My ID My Ban

mylifemyid.org - We want to know what you think, so contribute contribute contribute. Don’t be shy..

I've been banned...

Thank you for your participation in the mylifemyid.org community.

Celebrating 10 years of delivering insight online

Posted by The Englishman at 6:39 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

July 12, 2008

Internet Archæology

Cleaning off the old blackboard which is now in my workshop I noticed this ghost image on it. Dating from 1995 when I was having to explain what "The Internet" was and how companies shouldn't worry their heads as to what happened in "the cloud" and just give me the money and I would connect them up. It seems like a lifetime ago.

A passing fad they said, you'll never make any money out of it, I don't think any of us back then dreamt how it would change everything, it seemed so slow to get people interested and to start using it, even when Alta Vista was boasting that it had indexed Ten Million pages! What more could you want?

(Close up and enhanced photos below)

Posted by The Englishman at 3:33 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 11, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Billy Boy Music for The Glorious 12th)

Hillbilly Blues

The term Hill-Billies is first encountered in documents from 17th century Ireland. Roman Catholic King James II landed at Kinsale in Ireland in 1689 and began to raise a Catholic army in an attempt to regain the British throne. Protestant King William III, Prince of Orange, led an English counterforce into Ireland and defeated James II at the Battle of the Boyne in 1690. A significant portion of William III's army was composed of Protestants of Scottish descent (Planters) who had settled in Ulster in northern Ireland. The southern Irish Catholic supporters of James II referred to these northern Protestant supporters of King William as Billy Boys — Billy being an abbreviation of William.

It is believed that the term hillbilly in the United States was conferred during the early 18th century by the occupying British soldiers as a carry over from the Irish term, in referring to Scots-Irish immigrants of mainly Presbyterian origin, dwelling in the frontier areas of the Appalachian Mountains. These Protestant Irish colonists brought their cultural traditions with them when they immigrated. Many of their stories, songs, and ballads dealt with the history of their Ulster and Lowland Scot homelands, especially relating the tale of the Protestant King William III, Prince of Orange.

Posted by The Englishman at 5:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 10, 2008

It was twenty years ago today - Happy Birthday Harry

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July 9, 2008

Manufactured Nigger Row - Who's The Intolerant Bigot?

Storm over Tory peer Lord Dixon-Smith’s ‘nigger in woodpile’ remark - Times Online

Lord Dixon-Smith, 73, a Eurosceptic farmer from Essex, replied: “I apologise, my Lords. I left my brains behind. I apologise to the House.”

He told The Times afterwards that the remark had “slipped out without my thinking”.

He said that he had realised his mistake when in the chamber and apologised. “It was common parlance when I was younger, put it that way,” he said. He emphasised that he now considered the matter closed.

I'm a good few years younger than his Lordship and it was common when I was younger as well, just as we chanted the non-Tiger version of eeny meeny miny mo, there wasn't racist intention or thought behind the use of the insensitive word. Times change and what was appropriate then isn't now, but if we can't forgive an old man's slip of the tongue when he has immediately and completely apologised for the slip then we truly have become an intolerant society.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:30 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

July 8, 2008

A touch of the Max Mosleys

Ouch! My shoulders have been playing up so I bought one of these neoprene shoulder braces off eBay - advertised as being suitable for the larger gentleman. I eagerly ripped open the package at lunchtime and put it on, bit of a struggle but then it is new, I thought. Wrong, it is too bloody small, my shoulders are being wrenched out of their sockets backwards, the neoprene has a vice like grip on my hairs and I can't get my arms round the back to pull it off. I'm bloody stuck in the death grip of a bondage jacket, hot and sweaty, half naked in front of the computer screen. One half of my mind hoping Mrs Englishman comes back home soon to help me out, the other half dreading how I'm going to explain it - and if the door bell goes, I'm not bloody answering it.

And talking of Max Mosely, Mrs E wondered why he was putting himself through the expense and painful exposure of taking the News of The World to Court - well, the fact he admits to being a Masochist might have something to do with it.

UPDATE - A brainwave, I managed to slip a leather belt down my back under the straps and pull it off like that - I'm free! Now to wrap it in plain paper and bin it.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:28 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 4, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (America edition)

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Supping with the Devil

I very pleased the Devil from The Devil's Kitchen is coming to stay tonight, however Mrs Englishman has never read his blog, or even heard of him. How do I describe him to her before he arrives so she isn't surprised?

Posted by The Englishman at 5:50 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

No bloody bible bashing at my local

Landlords protest after pub swearing ban gets them sacked - Telegraph

"You can't run a pub and not swear," a customer said. "If they are Christians they should run a church, not a bloody pub."

I must warn any sensitive souls that there may be swearing tomorrow at The King's Arms, All Cannings as the Grand Chilli Cook-off takes place at lunchtime (all welcome - details below) - if Geoff Baker cooks up his infamous brew again then from memory there was a five minute silence as I struggled for breath before a stream of Anglo Saxon poured forth...

Some Like It Hot (from The Wiltshire Gazette and Herald)

Some like it hot
By Gazette Reporter
Comment

Saturday July 5th 2008 sees the third annual Chilli-cook-off at The King's Arms, All Cannings near Devizes.

Contestants will be bringing their Barbeques down to the pub car park in the morning and lovingly cooking their top secret chilli recipes in the hope of wooing the public and winning a cash prize. Everyone is invited to come along at lunch time and taste all the chillies and vote for their favourite, the most family friendly and for the brave, the hottest.

This year promises to bigger and better than ever and is going to be a fun afternoon for all - the profits will go to the First Responders.
advertisement

Details are:
For the contestants it is free to enter, there is a £30 top prize and other cash prizes, turn up after 10:00 am at the pub and start cooking.

The public is invited to buy a tasting cup for £2 which is bargain price to taste as many chillies as they can after mid day - the results of the voting will be announced at 3:00pm.

There is only one major rule - Contestants must be prepared to eat their own chilli.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 3, 2008

Is gun control behind our loss of civil liberties?

- Bishop Hill blog - Is gun control behind our loss of civil liberties?

America or North Korea. You decide.

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Council Tax - Don't argue, we will just take the money.

Council tax rebels will have money seized from bank accounts - Telegraph

Have your say: Should the Government have the right to collect taxes directly from bank accounts?

My local council tried to mulct a "penalty" payment out of me after they mishandled a council tax demand, I refused to pay and was pleased that I had the right to appear in front of the local magistrates, real people who understand the world, much to the council's surprise. I won and the council was sent away with a flea in its ear, I doubt the same would happen under the proposed scheme....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:11 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

June 29, 2008

Salad Days Update - Thank you Kim

Kim kindly linked to my College return yesterday so it is only fair I give you the update:

British Rail got me to Oxford only 30 minutes late so I was in time for the pre-luncheon drinks and then into the old hall for:

The Gaudy Lunch

2000 Bourgogne Blanc Javillier
Char-Grilled Asparagus with Smoked Salmon served on Baby Salad Leaves with a Citrus Dressing
***
1999 Château d'Armailhac
Pan Fried Medallions of Venison with a Port and Redcurrant Jus Lie
Parmentier Potatoes
A Medley of Roast Vegetables
***
Tirimisu with Fresh Raspberries and a Rich Chocolate Sauce
***
1995 Château Liot
1998 Château Chantalouette
Dessert
***
Coffee served in the Garden Quadrangle Reception Room

The Chateau d'Armailhac (Pauillac) 1999: (Youthful colour. Obvious and attractive youth on the nose, brimming over with coffee, tarry treacle toffee and blackcurrant aromas. Full palate, with coffee notes again, and firm, fresh acidity. Intense and concentrated, with pure black fruits and ripe, firm tannins. Voluptuous and seductive. Delicious, with lovely potential. A tremendous effort for this vintage. Needs five years but should be beautiful when mature.) was superb. After that it all got a bit hazy.

As I walked back across the quad I was approached by a young Texan honey (Youthful colour. Obvious and attractive youth on the nose, brimming over with coffee, tarry treacle toffee and blackcurrant aromas. Full palate, with coffee notes again, and firm, fresh acidity. Intense and concentrated, with pure black fruits and ripe, firm tannins. Voluptuous and seductive. Delicious, with lovely potential. A tremendous effort for this vintage. Needs five years but should be beautiful when mature.) who was lost.

She was trying to find her way round the college having just arrived for a course. She obviously thought I was safe as I was wearing my State of Texas belt buckle, a present from Kim, so in my best Terry Thomas manner I took off to see the magnificent new organ....

The train was very, very late so Mrs Englishman had to drive out late in the evening to pick me up - she has gone for a walk this morning leaving me in my penitence to look after the Englishettes.

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June 28, 2008

Salad Days

Off in a short while to attempt to get to Oxford by train. It is back to the old college today for some agreeable drinks and a spot of lunch. Old memories will be flooding back, I'm more of a Brideshead Revisited generation Oxonian than a Morsean, so I will wander through the Quads in an effete manner remembering my wasted youth, and the other wasted youths I used to get wasted with. I wonder if any others will turn up for the reunion, and if I will remember them. All the clever bastards went to the city and made obscene amounts of money, I'm sure the college gives them extra special lunches; the ugly northeners went into politics and became Labour MPs, I hope they don't turn up, (though it would be fun to meet up again with Angela Eagle, with whom I was like the fabled little Dutch Boy before she discovered she was a Lesbian). And for the rest of them it will probable be the weekend they have access to the kids and will be ferrying them to football or Ikea, or whatever most fortysomethings do that I have never bothered with.

And then if British Rail works, back to Pewsey for a BBQ at a pub - (they don't do finger buffets in Pewsey as it confuses the polydactyl population). The only part of the cunning plan I haven't worked out is how to get back home to the bosom of my loving family at the end of the day. And how Mrs Englishman is going to to greet me...

Wish me luck...

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June 27, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (The Best From NZ Edition)

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BACS Payment Problems 25th June

I have just been informed that all the BACS payments I set up for my business to pay on the 25th June have bounced, as far as I can see for once I have enough money in the account so I rang the bank to find out what was going on - I don't like bouncing payments, it reflects badly on me. I eventually get through a charming help operative who said "problem with the software, thousands of payments on the 25th to Lloyds accounts from Barclays were bounced. Do them again and all should be OK."

No it bloody won't be, firstly it was only by chance I discovered my payments are all now late, I'll probably get charged interest, my suppliers now think I can't pay and worst of all there is nowhere I can point them to to say - "look it wasn't me running out of cash". If there was a fault that affected thousand put a bloody apology up on the website so everyone knows what is going on.

Posted by The Englishman at 11:41 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 26, 2008

Cry Uncle

A spot of advice please. As an old fart, I get annoyed when children address me by my first name alone. For young children of good friends an honorific "Uncle Tim" seems more appropriate, or even as the FMlettes charmingly put it "Mr Tim". Otherwise I'm happy to be "Mr Englishman" or "Sir".
Am I alone in feeling thus? Should I just shrug and accept it as I have to when NHS staff do the same thing or should I be rude and turn my back as I do to salesmen who try it?

Posted by The Englishman at 2:38 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

June 25, 2008

Wednesday Night is Music Night - Unsigned Edition

Geoff Baker

has three names for any London record executives who fancy getting off their A&Rse to get promoted to having their own parking space and one of those secretaries who gives you blowjobs.

Johnny Ryder – he has a song called Where's The Revolution Gone? It would be perfect as a soundtrack to some thought-itching Cameron Crowe film. Sign him.

Purplemelon – we've banged on about these louche longhairs before and shall continue to do so as they are quite simply the band with the greatest potential to be the biggest English hit in the States since the export of gin. If you can't see it, you shouldn't be in the record business. Sign them.

Rachel Barror – aka A Girl Named Raye – there are three words for Rachel; hot as fuck. Other words include Irish, original, provocative, Blondie-incarnate, girl-empowering, so very different, own songs, potentially teen iconic and starring in a hair commercial near you. Sign her. Actually, sign her first because she is homeless. A PR dream.

You heard them here first.

Posted by The Englishman at 5:30 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 19, 2008

Free Beer

Bring this along and I'll buy you a pint (offer valid until the money in my wallet runs out!)

Posted by The Englishman at 7:44 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 18, 2008

Obsolete Skills

Obsolete Skills

• Dialing a rotary phone
• Putting a needle on a vinyl record
• Changing tracks on an eight-track tape
• Shorthand
• Using a slide rule
• Refilling a fountain pen
• Operating a dictaphone
• Using the eraser ribbon on a typewriter

Never had an eight-track, a dictaphone or learnt shorthand but the others I can do.

Check out the full A-Z list

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June 13, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (The old old question edition)

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June 12, 2008

Held Hostage

Sorry - I have only just got back to my computer after a night in London.

Half a gallon of fine ale with an old colleague before being royally entertained and informed by the Stockholm Network:

I was pleased to hear Stephen Pollard defend the use of ridicule and insult by blogs against politicians as a valuable part of the body politic, reacquainting them with real hustings heckles, unlike the stage managed photo-ops they are used to now.
And then on for dinner with The Devil until he poured me into a taxi as I had become a disgrace and was giggling on the floor at our neighbouring diner's very expensive Steak Tatar which resembled nothing more than a tin of cattomeat tipped onto a plate. Oh well that's another restaurant I won't be allowed back into again.

Still I haven't missed any political stories, have I?

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June 11, 2008

Gentlemen's Debts

Prince of Wales pays debt left by Charles II - Times Online

The Prince of Wales has repaid a debt left by Charles II. The King owed £453 and 3s (15p) to the Clothiers Company of Worcester for troop uniforms ordered in 1651.

Jolly decent of him, but a Gentleman should never worry about petty things such as tailor's debts, even if it has been dragging on for a while. Whatever next? He will be paying his wine merchant? Such things are for executors to sort out.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:57 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 10, 2008

Rock Bottom & Turning Purple - The Book they have been waiting for, and hoped it would never be published!

After 30 years of reckless living in journalism, showbiz and the music business, former something Geoff Baker is publishing a novel about fame - online and free at: Geoff Baker's Diary Of A Madman: GEOFF'S BOOK - AUTHOR INTRO

Are you in it? Is that character loosely based on you? Surely not? He wouldn't dare.

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Sorry, this is just my dopamine releasing placebo for getting satisfied.

Blogging--It's Good for You: Scientific American

According to Alice Flaherty, a neuroscientist at Harvard University and Massachusetts General Hospital, the placebo theory of suffering is one window through which to view blogging. As social creatures, humans have a range of pain-related behaviors, such as complaining, which acts as a “placebo for getting satisfied,” Flaherty says. ..
Also, blogging might trigger dopamine release...

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Rupert and the soldiers - sorry!

Rupert Everett apologises for calling soldiers 'wimps' - Telegraph

A proper apology, though I read his interview as him being very English using flippant irony, making good points. Of course it never pays to do so to a journalist as they believe irony means something is made of steel.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:19 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 9, 2008

I understand what girls do on a farm. DON'T leave them there abandoned!

Naughty Max the Boar escaped - luckily Mrs Englishman was on hand to entice him back to his pen. She has a way with hairy beasts...

Posted by The Englishman at 8:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Diary of a Madman

Geoff Baker's Diary Of A Madman

When Paul McCartney very publicly fired me as his PR four years ago for becoming "increasingly unstable", I had no idea that I might actually be mad.

Macca's global press release effectively made me unemployable and for a long time I wanted to nail Paul and anybody else I could blame to a tree for trashing my career.

I believed that this widely-announced instability was Paul-speak for me drinking and smoking too much, which I bitterly resented as I had always drunk and smoked too much throughout the 15 years that we worked together.

But it now turns out that Paul the Shrink was correct or at least prophetic in his diagnosis and that I am among the increasing millions who are very mentally ill.

My doctor says my problem is "severe depression". Psychologists tell me that I am also probably manic depressive, or bipolar as they call it these days, and that alcohol or marijuana or stressful events "trigger" a madness in me....

...Perhaps by standing up and admitting to it (my name is Geoff and I am mentally ill) and by being bluntly open and honest about its effects the taboo can be broken and we "weirdos" can be understood and we and our loved ones assisted in our battle to make sense of this thoroughly destructive disease.

It is then my intention to begin writing a diary of a madman to confront the demons and put this confrontation in the public domain.

Geoff is a lovely bloke, a great writer, great fun and mad as a fish - and brave as well. Good luck Geoff!

Posted by The Englishman at 5:48 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 6, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (I'm the type of guy edition)

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June 5, 2008

Pussy Lovers

I am a man who loves cats - Times Online...males are still suspicious of cat ownership. Being a heterosexual man and admitting to another heterosexual man that you like cats can feel a little like telling him that you still sleep alongside your childhood collection of teddy bears.

I'm getting a bit worried about Worstall, so thank goodness at least one Englishman abroad posts proper cat pictures...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:21 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 4, 2008

Oih! You looking at my bird?

The hens have arrived - another step towards self-sufficiency and away from giving half I earn to the bastards and then more when I spend what is left....

Posted by The Englishman at 8:54 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 3, 2008

Bo Diddley - RIP

Posted by The Englishman at 6:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Left handed blogging only for the next few days

Apologies for the lacunae, back to full strength soon, I hope.

Comments are open.......

Posted by The Englishman at 12:13 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 30, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Cool in the bike warehouse edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 29, 2008

The Englishman gets a drubbing from the Texan Fashion Police

Mrs. du Toit - Fashion Police

Wearing 30 year old style suits doesn’t make any sense either. Dressing like a slob or without any style at all is disrespectful (for yourself and others). If you are older than 25, wearing your hair in the style you wore it in High School makes about as much sense as it did then, ie, none.

One of the signs of mental health (and intelligence) is paying attention to what is going on around you, and keeping up (in every meaning of that).

I'm pleading guilty, as do most landowners in England. Dammit woman, clothes have a natural progression, from being best, to "at home" wear, then for gardening and finally passed onto the pigman. New clothes aren't bought in response to any vagaries of fashion but just inserted at the top of the cycle as needed. Which in the case of suits and overcoats isn't often. Go to a country funeral and you will find many dressed as I was last week; in my Dad's suit (he died fifteen years ago and lord knows when he bought it), his white shirt and black tie - they never wear out and Great Uncle Percy's overcoat. He bought quality and it has lasted - here's him carrying it on 22nd August 1922.

And as for haircuts, of course we wear the same style we were given at prep school. I have no idea how to order a different one, I don't even know what I'm choosing when they offer a square or taper cut. And frankly I'm suspicious of those who do.

(The old boy in the wheel chair is Henry Adelbert Wellington FitzRoy Somerset, 9th Duke of Beaufort)

Posted by The Englishman at 7:02 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

May 23, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Driving Edition)

Careful how you go now.

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May 21, 2008

Hat tips, Blog Etiquette and a Wallace

Guido , as do most bloggers, properly acknowledges his source when it is another blog, in the etiquette of blogdom he "Hat tips" them.

I recently noted another had beaten him to a story and suggested a hat tip was in order. On reflection I think I was wrong and apologize. What we need is another term for a blogger to acknowledge priority, in that they acknowledge another blogger was first, but that at the time of writing their post they were unaware of it. This a concept that is alien to the MSM but one that the good manners of bloggers need.

May I suggest a "Wallace"?

If I note that another blogger has beaten me to a story but I was unaware of it at the time I will give them a Wallace; If I have sourced a story from another blog I will give them a Hat tip.

I commend it to the house, what do you think?

Posted by The Englishman at 9:35 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

May 20, 2008

Like blogging but for people with friends...

Returning from a long lunch at the pub on my birthday I realised i had promised some young friends that I would join Facebook.
So I have.
I'm still not sure what it is for, it seems to be like blogging but for people with friends...

Posted by The Englishman at 6:48 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 18, 2008

Annual May 18th Self Indulgence

Ah - Legs and Co

Posted by The Englishman at 7:52 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 16, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Before it became a cabaret turn)

And if you are looking for an understated subtle version of Delilah may I recommend this one:

Red Russian Army Choir & Leningrad Cowboys - Delilah

Taken from the Total Balalaika Show shot on 12 June 1993 in Helsinki, Finland

Posted by The Englishman at 6:54 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 14, 2008

If music be...

A bottle of house red please. Oh, and some Hendrix to go with it - Scotsman.com News

Though the songs chosen for the study were deliberately obscure – so as to minimise the likelihood that students already drew some previous association with the tracks – Mr Montes has selected music he considers the ideal accompaniment to certain wines. What his list lacks in scientific rigour it makes up for in taste; merlot, he suggests, is best consumed while listening to Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay by Otis Redding, while Jimi Hendrix's blazing cover of All Along The Watchtower is considered the perfect soundtrack to a glass of cabernet sauvignon.

Time for some scientific research this evening with a corkscrew and youtube...

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May 9, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Not an Ode to Billy Joe Edition)

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May 8, 2008

Amazing Discovery! (For pre-internet times...)

Victorian men's guide to looking your best - Telegraph

..A recent discovery shows that the men of the 1800s were just as worried about looking good.

The Young Man's Own Book, published in London in 1832, was a must-have for those wanting to impress the girls and look their best.

The book warned against dressing in "absurd finery" and cautioned that some men "may paint or powder themselves so much and dress so finically to suppose they are women in boys' clothes".

As for the age-old art of wooing the opposite sex, the 300-page pocket-sized book covered everything from how to trim one's fingernails to how long to spend lazing in bed.

"A foul mouth and unclean hands are certain marks of vulgarity," it said.

Readers were also warned: "Beware of treating ladies as mere playthings."

The book will be auctioned this month after being found at a house in Burton upon Trent, Staffs.

All good advice no doubt, but don't journalists have Google? - the first search result shows this book for sale for £25 in a bookshop....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:58 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 6, 2008

The Pussification of the English Male

Does Britain need more manly men? - Telegraph
“Manly men… have been hunted to extinction in the British Isles,” claims Mr Oliver, who regrets the decline of the “stiff upper lip” among today’s boys.
He has written a book , Amazing Tales for Making Men Out of Boys, which revives historic acts of bravery from the Battle of Thermopylae to Robert F Scott's expedition to the South Pole.

Meoowwww!

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May 2, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (The performance of a lifetime edition)

Posted by The Englishman at 5:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 1, 2008

Stat Pron

I failed to join in last month's stat wars so let me get mine in first this time.....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:35 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 30, 2008

How I nearly got sent to the Tower...

Blogger 'Guido Fawkes' is led off to the Tower - Pandora, Columnists - The Independent

"I had been speaking at the Adam Smith Institute," Guido explains. "They have made a lot of money so the booze is usually pretty good. I moved on with a few people to the Westminster Arms, where I bought drinks, and then to the Kennington Tandoori to show everyone the picture of Prezza on the wall. Then I was giving a few people a lift to Victoria station when the fuckers pulled me over."

Bugger, it was a good curry though, and from where I was sitting in the back in the baby seat he seemed to be driving better than I do when in town.

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April 28, 2008

The Sun is Shining - I'm Off to Work.

Work is the curse of the blogging class, no time for sitting indoors today. The Devil's Kitchen is on fire yesterday and today ripping apart the EU, NHS, Labour wankers, and even Oxford Students. Far better stuff than the meagre gruel you would have read here, and I suppose I ought to warn you far swearier...

Posted by The Englishman at 7:08 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 27, 2008

Koinophilia

Kim du Toit ponders the Top Five FHM Beauties whilst Just a Girl in short shorts talks about top limey lesbian pin-ups.

I think the latter may win my vote.

Posted by The Englishman at 1:24 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 25, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (So last century)

Those heady days after Free Love and the Pill arrived and before AIDS started casting its shadow. No wonder my friend "The Glam Rockstar" looks back with a wry smile....

Posted by The Englishman at 5:43 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 24, 2008

That OGC logo, you read it here first!

ogc logo - Google Blog Search

That OGC logo story has gone big time - Times, Telegraph, NBC etc.
But Google searches, when sorted by date, show where the story broke - here. (I got it from a conference on CIX, an old pre-web system that continues to function).

Posted by The Englishman at 7:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 19, 2008

The call of the beaver

Hunt launched for beavers illegally released into wild - Scotsman.com News

The Royal Zoological Society of Scotland is leading efforts to catch the beavers, trying to entice them into traps with carrots and apples....

"Carrots and apples" have never worked for me when tracking down lonely wild beaver, something sparkling and chilled with oysters is a better bet.....

Posted by The Englishman at 7:57 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 18, 2008

Would make a change from The King's Arms

Today.Azerbaijan - English pub The Camel's Toe

See photo in linked article.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:47 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Friday Night is Music Night (Just listen to the rhythm of a gentle bossa nova)

Downtown is a pop song composed by Tony Hatch following a first-time visit to New York City. Petula Clark released her first version in late 1964 topping music charts worldwide (with 3 million copies sold in the US alone.

English singer Emma Bunton released "Downtown" in November 2006. The single was selected as the 2006 BBC Children in Need single, with all proceeds from the release going to the charity.

Directed by Harvey & Carolyn, (the directors who also directed her video for her single "Maybe") the sexually suggestive music video for the single is set in a hotel bedroom featuring Bunton as a maid. It includes appearances from contestants from the BBC's reality television show Strictly Come Dancing (the format to which has been sold worldwide under the name Dancing with the Stars) and features cameos from Matt Dawson, Louisa Lytton, Carol Smillie, Spoony, Mark Ramprakash, Claire King, Peter Schmeichel, Craig Revel Horwood, Anton du Beke, Brendan Cole, Erin Boag, Lilia Kopylova, Karen Hardy, and Darren Bennett. Though the lyrics are innocuous, in the video Bunton's body language clearly twists the song title into a euphemism for sexual activity.

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The "most seductive woman of all time"

Beauty survey perfects the art of seduction - Independent.ie

Women fused Marilyn Monroe's white dress, Angelina Jolie's pout, Bond girl Halle Berry's eyes, singer Jennifer Lopez's nose and TV star Kelly Brook's hair and body -- to create Angelle L'Brook.

I note they didn't ask men, but they seem to be on the right track, maybe more research is called for....

Posted by The Englishman at 6:50 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 17, 2008

Back Home

The Adam Smith Institute Bloggers Do

Aargh my head, an excellent and interesting evening, followed by more conviviality with fine minds, all went swimmingly until the Police intervened.....

Still thanks to all and I can recommend the Easyhotel at Victoria, very clean, simple and comfortable with an great shower, what more do you want?

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April 16, 2008

It's London!

Chocks away, see you later at the Adam Smith Institute for a drink or two.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:07 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Stick to your last

BBC NEWS | Health | Ethnic clothes mental health link

Bangladeshi pupils who wore traditional clothing were significantly less likely to have mental health problems than those whose style of dress was a mix of traditional and white British styles.

When this was broken down by gender, it appeared that only girls were affected.

No similar effect was found in white British adolescents who chose a mixture of clothes from their own and other cultures.

Make of that what you will, I will stick to my own traditional ethnic clothes. Checked shirt, mustard cords, tweed jacket and rambler-kicker brogues.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:47 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 14, 2008

Advice to New Fathers

‘Let dads spend night in ward after birth’ - Times Online
Fathers should be allowed to stay overnight in hospital after the birth of their baby, according to a senior government adviser on maternity services.

Why would you want to? You have just finished being ordered about for months and put up with being in hospital when you aren't ill. It was bad enough you had to stand around being bored with her nails digging into the back of your hand reminding her to bloody breath for hours, can't pregnant women remember anything? And then all that gungy stuff, and swearing silently to yourself you are never going near that end again. You need a break. Go to the pub, get bought beer and cigars, go home and take one last look at a house not engulfed in plastic toys and stinking of sick, go out again just because you can without negotiating a babysitter, sleep across the bed without worrying about a mewling bundle of poo beside you; you are starting a twenty year sentence, enjoy your last night of freedom.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 13, 2008

That was the week that was

I spent last week on holiday in a delightful converted water mill in Somerset. Delightful for my children and 5' 3" tall wife as it had 5' 4" doors. Oh how they rocked with laughter as Daddy fell like a poll axed ox to the floor unable to see through swirling stars and unable to unleash the full appropriate Anglo Saxon commentary on the hobbit like builders for fear of upsetting the ungrateful spawn of my loins. And a tip for gentlemen of a certain age, a converted water mill still has the mill race alongside, all night long it was like being next to a bloody waterfall, so up I would have to get and navigate unfamiliar furniture, all good solid oak, and not wake the house as the bloody lintel caught me yet again.

Still I laughed myself silly over the Olympic torch, at long last a fascist symbol gets an appropriate welcome around the world; cringed as we allowed uniformed Communist goons to police our streets to "protect" said torch; shared The Remittance Man's lack of surprise at the revelations of council snoopers - see we weren't just being paranoid; and toasted the tossers at the BMA, and the eager beaver hacks at the BBC who loved to report it, who want to only serve wine in thimbles with a decent gargle. As Winston knew Champagne should only be served in Imperial Pints!

Posted by The Englishman at 6:40 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 12, 2008

Hello Hello I'm Back Again

Sorry for the break - I wasn't trying to steal the Olympic torch just feel up Konnie Huq. So seven days for a touch of the tits seems fair enough.....

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April 4, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Leaving the best for last)

His rendition is a little fast for my taste, but then what do I know? But when, hopefully many years in the future, my worthless husk is wheeled off on the bier I would appreciate this being played.

Posted by The Englishman at 7:55 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 2, 2008

16th April, I'm in Town looking for some fun.

Adam Smith Institute - The bloggers are coming to town

It starts at 6.30pm in the ASI's Westminster offices. Ask Steve nicely for an invitation at events@adamsmith.org.

I'm booked in for it, and Στέλιος Χατζηιωάννου is putting me up in his Victoria pad for the night... (£38 as I opted for the cell with a window). So I will be looking for some debauchery after the serious stuff at the ASI and before I cuddle down with the best that the back streets behind Victoria Station has to offer.

If you fancy a drink, let's meet.

Posted by The Englishman at 6:53 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

I have that Warm Touched feeling

How an app called WarmTouch nailed a grenade-stockpiling cyber extortionist | The Register

WarmTouch uses a scoring system to guess at a suspect's psychological characteristics. An overuse of the word "me," for instance, might suggest an exaggerated sense of passivity, an indication the person may feel like a victim. The program can sniff out other clues about the individual, such as whether he is more of a loner (as evidenced by frequent use of the word "I") or more of a team player (indicated by using "we" instead). The program also pays close attention to rhetorical questions, which are said to be a strong indicator of anger.

Just don't run this blog through the app please otherwise what might I be banged up for? (Rhetorical question only please note.)

Posted by The Englishman at 6:45 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 31, 2008

Keep it Local

The Prince of Wales highlights importance of local pubs - Times Online

With as many as 27 village pubs closing every week, the Prince of Wales has taken up the cudgels on behalf of beleaguered locals across the country, pointing out the pub’s importance to society and local economies.

He has invited Hilary Benn, the Rural Affairs Minister, to accompany him today on a visit to The Black Swan Hotel in Ravenstonedale, Cumbria,

Poor old Charlie, the things he has to do as he tries to do good work. Can you think of anyone you would like less to go to the pub with than teetotal, vegetarian Hilary Benn?

Meanwhile Simon Barnes in The Times says that pubs are jolly good places It’s nothing to do with convenience or drink or food: it’s something to do with being English....Pubs have a cultural importance. It’s not the real ales and the fine wines that matter: it’s the spirits, and pubs are part of the spirit of place. If they are anachronisms, they need to be preserved because of their cultural meaning. The French subsidise circus because they believe it has a meaning: we don’t do that in this country, and so we are losing circuses. We are also losing pubs: and that strikes me as a sad thing for us all.

However he admits he doesn't go to his local very often, even though it is only a few hundred yards away and very good, is he hinting they should be subsidised by the state?

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March 28, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Claymation Memories)

Ah the 80s...

Bonus version below the fold...

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Support the Red Lion

Pub Sale Ban Sparks Row (from This Is Wiltshire)

Enterprise Inns, which owns the 17th century Red Lion in The City near the Cooper Avon Tires factory in Bath Road, has placed a covenant on the sale of the pub saying it cannot be run in direct competition with The Unicorn just across the road, which it also owns.

Enterprise Inns are based in this building:

3 Monkspath Hall Rd.
Solihull
West Midlands
B90 4SJ

0121 733 7700
enquiries@enterpriseinns.plc.uk

Guess where I would prefer to be and who I support - Bastard Suits.

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March 27, 2008

I'm on the change

Apologies if I sound a little skittish this morning, but after my shower last night I think I'm on the change. Forty years ago Matron at school plastered my hair down with a parting on the right, instilling in me a distrust of men who part their hair on the left, girly side. In the pub last night it was commented how much better my hair looked. The bloody parting had swapped sides when I was washing it, it is immovably on the left; how did that happen? If Matron was wrong about hair partings what else was she wrong about? The French and their revolting habits? Catholics? That thing that Simpkins used to do after lights out? My life is in turmoil.

I suppose as a sceptic I should embrace the chance to review long held notions but some beliefs are too deeply engrained in my ethos for me to want to change them, especially about the French and that thing Simpkins used to do.

UPDATE - thanks to the comment below:

BBC NEWS | Politics | Hair buzz as Cameron moves left
Tory leader David Cameron's decision to part his hair on the left has sparked a buzz of speculation from commentators.....
The Sun reports it shows Mr Cameron was not afraid of change while the Daily Mirror reports that it could be an attempt to look more "butch", as a right parting is sometimes seen as feminine.
But hairdresser Roger Craig told BBC Radio 4's Today programme it could be more of a "metrosexual" statement.
"I have always kept mine on the right and was always led to believe that real men put their partings on the right hand side," he said.

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March 26, 2008

The Pussification Of The Western Male

Modern men feel emasculated, study claims - Telegraph

Many men believe the world is now dominated by women and that they have lost their role in society, fuelling feelings of depression and being undervalued.

Asked what it meant to be a man in the 21st century, more than half thought society was turning them into "waxed and coiffed metrosexuals", and 52 per cent say they had to live according to women's rules.

What they apparently want is what some American academics have dubbed a "menaissance" - a return to manliness, where figures such as Sir Winston Churchill were models of manhood.

Cue Kim

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March 23, 2008

Happy Easter - A day for a story of death, loyalty, bravery and hope

It was 9.30 on the morning of March 30, Holy Saturday, 1918. He had somehow survived four years of shell and bullet and privation, and Passchendaele, but now, in the little hamlet of Castel, not 10 miles south-west of Amiens,....

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March 21, 2008

Cue Fluff

Wikio's monthly rankings for the most influential blogs in the UK blogosphere.

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March 20, 2008

Friday Thursday Night is Music Night

Oh those backing dancers!

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March 18, 2008

Definition of an English Gentleman - he is never unintentionally rude.

I'm sure Macca won't mind it being revealed that he disclosed total net assets of £387,012,000. He disclosed his total net income for the next 12 months at £5,357,000 (judgement.pdf). when he knows the whole world is reading a proper legal kicking.

McCartney Mills full divorce ruling: Extracts - Telegraph

In his full ruling on the McCartney divorce, the judge was highly critical of Heather Mills's evidence.

You can have all your hysterical bitch slapping and name calling, when you want to really insult some no one is better than an English Judge.

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March 17, 2008

If I told you you had a beautiful body...

The 100 most beautiful cars: 20-1 - Telegraph

We reveal the most beautiful cars as chosen by readers of The Daily Telegraph

That's my favourite - or at least the best car I have ever owned (and yes it is me driving it). I should never have sold it...

1988 6.0l V12Jaguar XJR-S
After winning the 1984 European Touring Car Championship at the wheel of an XJ-S, Tom Walkinshaw of TWR was commissioned to give the road-going XJR a performance makeover. In 1988 the factory made an official model incorporating Walkinshaw's enhancements. His company JaguarSport (or TWR), was already producing body and suspension kits for the XJ-S which were available for separate order.

Both a 5.3 liter and 6.0 liter engine were available in the car. Since the engines look almost identical, its hard to differentiate between the two. In either case a genuine TWR car is hard to come by, as in three years of production a little over 600 cars were manufactured.

And the rear view, which is all most people saw of it was pretty good as well..

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March 14, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (True Blues Edition)

Huddie William Ledbetter or Lead Belly

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March 10, 2008

Stormy Weather

In honour of the small gale we are having here is Lena Horne:

And with the wind under our tails Mr FM and I got a bit carried away in the Public Bar of the King's Arms....

Ouch - that hurt!

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March 7, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Mad as a box of frogs edition)

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February 29, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Set Me Free Edition)

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February 22, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night - Nobody Does It Better

That should cheer the Devil up, and perplex you as to who it is.....

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February 18, 2008

Monday Morning - Dig, Dig, Dig

As you face a day in the office envy me my freedom to choose my own work in the fields - this morning it is digging out the septic tank overflow, by hand....

(A slightly different version - the ending is great!)

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February 15, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (We have all the time in the world edition)

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February 13, 2008

Pay-Ads.com

I noticed the otherday that Google was flagging up Mr Worstall's tabloid edition as having the potential of harming your computer - I meant to rdrop him a line about it but forgot - sorry!

Here's the explanation:

Tim Worstall Tabloid Edition: Pay-Ads.com

So, just a note to people out there. You do not want to add Pay-Ads.com to your site because they are scummy thieving bastards, OK?"

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February 12, 2008

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Charles, Abraham and Freddie

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February 9, 2008

The Devil's Love Blondes

The Devil, being a young whipper snapper, is impressed by Kim Wilde. I won't allow anyone to best me on admiration for Marty's daughter; I watched bleary eyed one Saturday Morning as her first video was premièred and clutching the remains of my student grant I hotfooted it down Cornmarket to Woolies and bought it, setting her on her career. But Madam Kim is only, and exactly, six months older than me and so played no part in L'Education des Adolescents, unlike the blessed Debbie Harry.

As an educational service to such youngsters let me present Kim's memento mori to the early 1980s - this is how it was...

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February 8, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (ooooooh edition)

I'm of an age that I was incredibly lucky in that in one week Blondie released this, puberty happened and I realised I never needed to listen to a concept album ever again....

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Worstall proven right again

Wild and wacky, but that’s why the whole world wants to watch - Times Online

People used to mock Manchester United because they had fans in Chertsey and Richmond. Now they have fans in Ouagadougou and Kowloon Tong as well – and so do most other clubs in the Premier League. In recent months I have discussed intimate details of life in the Premier League in Zambia, in Kenya, in France and even in Italy, a place that prides itself on its own football.

The league has become England’s great export to the world. Where the British once sought to buy hearts and minds with beads and mirrors, guns and sewage pipes, we now supply the sexiest brand of football in the world.

As Worstall says: Exports are just the dreary shite we have to do to be able to buy the imports.

And League Football is one huge bunch of dreary shite that we are all better off if it is exported, preferably for good.

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February 7, 2008

The World is running out of........

The Remittance Man: MINERAL RESERVES AND RESOURCES – WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN

As a mining engineer, one particular bugbear of mine is the classic “the world’s going to run out of oil/coal/unobtainium/phuloshite in the next X years” article. The latest case is today’s article by Magnus Linklater in which he makes the statement that world uranium supplies will start running out by 2010. I realise that such doomsday stories are grist to your mill and sell copy, but you really are doing yourselves a great disservice by simply quoting numbers without understanding them. Especially those issued by the press officers of certain environmental NGO’s or others with agendas of their own.

But instead of using my blog to just rant and rail about MSM stupidity I have decided to try and do something constructive for once. To this end I have spent some of my own time, entirely free of charge, creating a handy reference guide to mineral Reserves and Resources for you to cut out and keep.

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February 6, 2008

Chocolates by candlelight

A game of cat and mouse to trap St Kilda rats - Scotsman.com News

...four tubs of Cadbury Bourneville dark chocolate and a stack of white dinner candles were the unlikely ingredients assembled yesterday to save St Kilda from ecological disaster.

Sounds like the ingredients for an evening in front of a roaring fire on the sheepsking rug with a young popsy, which also normally used to end in disaster...

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February 5, 2008

Pancake Day

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February 4, 2008

Back to the Future

Filling out my day book to try and recall what I have frittered the working hours away on I was suddenly struck with a thought - what I need is not some fancy electronic organiser but a book like thing with a page a day, plus some blank pages for notes and somewhere for phone numbers etc - put it all in a leather cover with a clip and I would be sorted. Bugger me I have just reinvented the filofax! Luckily a quick rootle in the office found my old battered one from when I was a thrusting young thing in the 80s, last used 1993. New diary pages ordered off eBay and away we go!
Pah to all you Apple worshipping techno geeks!

And flicking on the old 405 line television I was pleased to see Patrick Moore still gazing skywards through his monocle. Just what I need I thought as my left eye is fine but the right eye, my shooting eye, is as duff as a Gordon Brown joke book. A quick Google and I find the chappies at Budgetspex can do you a prescription one for £25. Got to be worth a try..

Pip, pip!

Posted by The Englishman at 8:10 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 2, 2008

It starts today

England a daunting test for the new Wales - Rugby Union News - Telegraph
"The edge is still there," Ashton said yesterday. "The edge is still there because it's England-Wales, one of the biggest of the Six Nations fixtures."

England might be vulnerable, but Wales will have to deliver an exceptional performance if they are to end their own barren spell.

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February 1, 2008

Friday Night is Music Night (Early Britpop edition)

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Liberty is found in the small joys of life

Just a Girl in short shorts talking about whatever: Nanny State Bake Sale

Liberty is found in the small joys of life

But we don't care. Just like everyone thinks